0:04
The Daily Talk Show Episode 722. And this is a different type of episode. We've got grace Paris, Gemma watts, Amy jacket and Brianna Phillips sitting down and taking over the show for half an hour. They sat down at midnight during our 24 hour livestream and just started chatting. They talk about some really interesting topics, motherhood, parenting, the pressures of society, being an only child. And this wasn't intended at all to be released as a podcast, but it was so interesting. We thought we should. So we pick it up where they're asking grace about her family, and I hope you enjoy this one. This is Episode 722.

0:43
I do I have an older brother, so he's 27 2028 this year. He was meant to get married in April for this year, but obviously due to the pandemic, that supposedly till January Yeah,

1:02
yeah. So if I was a bridesmaid and I was emcee at the wedding

1:09
I know I was quite sad that that's gonna be

1:13
Gemma's jam being an emcee.

1:15
I've got a lot of

1:19
right. I'd love to meet if I'm not ready. Yeah, if I'm the emcee whatever I yeah, if it's not that I'm gonna kill both of you. So yeah, I guess.

1:34
Fair enough. Even if I'm not married him, that's fine. So yeah, no, so no brother said they're postponed to January next year 23rd of January, so I'll have to come back to next year anyway, in the summer, which is great. But um, yeah, it's exciting but everything's been planned. We are all the dresses all the flowers or the shoe the hair or the tans everything you know, planned. And then it was about a week before everything shut down they decided to postpone it themselves so a bit sad but then also like obviously understandable that with the current situation so yeah, well next January next year is gonna be a great a great month. All right month

2:21
you are excited right? Yeah. And that's how many

2:27
January's a great year

2:31
Gemma we my birthday next next January. So

2:36
that is what the wedding is.

2:39
Ah that's it I

2:43
got

2:45
no that's it so yeah, it'll be it'll be a great month. It'll be like Christmas you know, christmas new year's period and then birthday and then wedding.

2:54
Christmas traditions grace.

2:57
Um, wait, do you have like The fat like the immediate family, my mom, my brother, his fiance, myself, we have lunch on Christmas Day. Boxing days usually usually the extended family. So mommy's lunch like, wow, we're gonna put a ban and come around. Okay. Do you?

3:18
Do you have like the same thing that you cook each Christmas lunch or is it because it changes like one day? It's like we're gonna do a burrito croissants

3:28
today like no, that's when they come to mind for New Year's.

3:33
That's it. Yeah. No, so usually it'll be

3:39
when my grandparents were still alive that we used to have the full because my grandparents are Scottish. We have the full like Turkey, ham, pork roast. And the now it's kind of like my brother does a ham my mom and I will do like to do something with salads like roast chickens. Get all something as a chicken with with every kind of rice vegetable you can think of. And then on Boxing Day We have the extended family come over

4:11
and kind of bring their leftovers and have we'll have like, a

4:16
dining table worth of food. We just kind of pick it that and everything. So that's kind of our Christmas tradition because everyone's family so to speak. That's why we kind of split into the two. So yeah,

4:29
so your mom one of 10

4:31
Mm hmm. That's it. Yeah. Family.

4:35
was bad.

4:38
Because I want to see yes.

4:40
Yeah, sorry, mom. So mums want to 2010 sorry. I'm the 24th grandchild out of 20. So I'm the youngest, so all my cousins are older than me. As they still treat me like I'm settling, which is kind of annoying, but yeah, I see it too. It's kind of But it's also like, I'm not like, you can talk to me I can like I'm an adult. So

5:06
I'd be close to the 20th of the grandchildren. I reckon. I'm one of seven, that our family just everyone's married and re married, and then the children of children and yeah,

5:20
that's the thing to me or my family, or my cousins have kids. So I'm like, your kids are closer in age to me than I am.

5:28
Yeah. Which is weird. But

5:31
the family God is in tons of

5:34
exactly the same. This is what's interesting, Chris from me, what's the

5:37
age difference from youngest to oldest of your mom's siblings? Like, what's the gap? Um,

5:46
ish. 25 really good. She is

5:49
really excited, Jim. How many

5:54
20 2030 years between mom and my mom's younger siblings. Obviously, I think it isn't like a given.

6:05
What do you mean even

6:07
for Mom, mom was one of seven. But they had the first sticks have they all like one or two years apart? And then number seven, it's a dick.

6:24
Yeah, and they've all got like, Irish Catholic names. There's like, oh, Jim, my family's really after Raisa Mary Beth like Scottish Catholic. Yeah. So they're gonna have like the crazy knives. So the youngest sibling is Jared. And because he's so much younger than all of them. They told him that he's not actually hot. And he was just found on the doorstep and he fully believed that for very

6:56
but like the the funny part is that he looks exhausted. exactly the same as my puppy who is was passed away before I was born. But you look at photos, exactly the same, so there's no way that he was adopted.

7:10
Yeah.

7:12
If you're 10 years younger than your youngest sibling, and you've been told your name is girl

7:23
What about you?

7:26
Yeah, bro. You want to see boys go?

7:28
Yeah, I can hear your story. I'm not sure if he's setting something up because I was gonna ask him to help me around the banner. Oh, just show me how to do it.

7:37
Larry brace it talk to us about you. We care about Yeah, I want to see x.

7:41
I want to see x but their heart so my dad my dad has actually been married three times. Okay, so he had three.

7:50
I you I just realized

7:51
Yeah, cuz my dad remarried in there. No, I'm one of six Actually, if

8:00
you look at it like that, not necessarily because like that is all the same kids to my dad. So we've got like three for my dad's first marriage and then three from the second, which is what I'm from. And then he got remarried again. And she already had two kids, so it's like quite a big family.

8:16
Awesome. You don't want to buy it as well.

8:18
Yeah, it's actually tech that kind of, um, yeah, and then I've got a nephew now too. He's like one and a half. He's so cute.

8:25
are beautiful. I can't wait to have a pseudonym.

8:29
Oh, I won't have any.

8:34
You can play with it to Bodie. Cute.

8:37
Yeah, my kids.

8:41
I would love that. I'm big on like a few of my friends now have had babies and I'm on to Jim and I love it because I'm an only child and this is one where you and his sister I doubt will have children so we were just sorry. Get auntie and uncle to everyone.

8:58
Oh beautiful. I think That's nice. I didn't like the mic.

9:05
Oh, sorry. Sorry darlin, my just my cousin's an only child. And she's, she's like, just told me at the last family do that all of that she's like, by the way, I'm an auntie Jabari because I don't have any siblings and my cousin and that's how it's gonna be. And

9:25
eautiful that is so beautiful. Isn't that?

9:28
Yeah. I love family.

9:31
And that's the ultimate say like, It's so lovely to be like, you know what? Technically, you're not volunteer uncle, but you You mean the aunt and uncle role in my family. So you're going to be the art, you know, to my kids. Like a lot of my friends. I'm like, you're not related to me. But I can just say that you're going to be my life for so long that you're going to be the art you know, to my kids.

9:55
Like that's just I think that's a nice thing, friends.

10:00
Yeah, it's so beautiful.

10:03
My parents were on my parents have like many many friendship groups but they're the friendship group I've kind of been like in for the longest. A lot of them don't have children, but I look at all of them as Auntie uncle. My, like my parents had children and their, you know RTK uncle jack. Yeah.

10:27
And yeah, it's just it's the same thing like that close with people. Yes,

10:34
but I think yeah, I think down to the like, you can choose friends. You can't choose your family. You can choose your friends kind of thing, you know? And you can choose the people that you want in your life.

10:46
Yeah, yeah. I love the friendships that my parents have, like, I look up to the way that they interact with their friends. I just I like idolize the way that they socialize and I just back. That is what I want. They put so much value in the relationships that they have with their family but also outside of their family. And I'm like that is how much value should be placed on friendships. I think it should be the same across the board.

11:16
Yeah, that's definitely beautiful.

11:18
As I hear them listening in motion, I guarantee

11:26
you this kid

11:30
started dating Tommy that I really appreciated was he had friendships like you'd made up with his friend who was like 5040 like though they were all across all like generations. And I remember thinking like man, like mine are all within like, maybe a 10 year age span. And just thinking how how beautiful it was like some of those were like, you know, kind of woven in from his family and from experience How I just saw I want that for Bodie. Like I would love, like the richness of that experience and those like that life lived and I just think it's so beautiful.

12:13
But I really think he'll get that knowing you and knowing AJ and just watching like I've known or how long have I known TJ and JJ for probably two years now and just watching Eric way that you guys are with Bodhi. I just hate is gonna have the best time of

12:35
the year. Anything you want for him is 100% so

12:40
beautiful to hear as well isn't enough.

12:43
Grace, you are gonna fall in love with three and a half seconds. I

12:47
mean, I'm sorry. I mean, I've already full it probably came over.

12:52
Just got like, I don't know he's just got like a good spot.

12:57
Yeah, he's got it. came and

13:03
told Gemma before I'm not sure if you remember, but honestly like where, you know, in this time where COVID is and you're not sure what the future holds, and it's all a bit whatever I'm we we kind of were thinking, we don't we don't know if we'll have a second like we always kind of had it in our plan and now I'm thinking like, I don't know. But I'm watching the relationship gem that you have with your parents and just how fulfilled you are and how close you are and there doesn't seem to be a need. I think that there's almost like this myth that is like every child needs a sibling. And I feel like watching you and how, how much that I feel that you just dispel that by being so happy and making your family like those you surround yourself with, has made us kind of old may may just kind of look and go. Oh, I don't think that he'll be missing out on on anything like you'll be gaining something else if he's an only child and it's made me go I don't think that that has to be the only way which I thought it was.

14:09
I very much remember that because I told my parents and we all had a little we all held hands and got together beautiful yeah I just like I thought that was a nice thing and where we're not a super emotional family My dad's pretty sentimental about mom and I are pretty like Gods off at all times. But I thought that was the most beautiful thing um yeah, I think it's due to each their own but I had a I had a funny moment just during the week I did we did a nice social distance work myself and one of my best girlfriends brace up for you met me so you don't want okay? Yeah, like it's disgusting like you look at her name is JJ Dean's actually so disgusting. Anyway, well Walking and shape one of three and she was like, Oh, do you just I mean, you know how you got your friends were you know their tone. She was like, Oh, do you reckon you'll have two or three children as though those are the two options? I was like, Ah huh. Well, I don't know. Maybe I'll have one. Maybe I'll have zero. Maybe I'll have full hundred. Like, what what do you mean? Oh, well, I just was thinking about just my upbringing, and I really enjoyed it. And I was just, Oh, do I want to withdraw? Right? And I was like, well, I just I don't think that is a definitive argument for any number of children. I think there are so many factors and like, I have loved being an only child and I have I honestly think I have the best relationship with my parents. I love them so much. But if I were another child, we, you know, different parents, perhaps it wouldn't be nice if I We're all in siblings that I didn't gel with like, I just I don't think you can come up with a definitive answer because you don't know what could come from the alternative. Yeah, it just Yeah, I know it's a totally gray

16:17
it's funny funny, I don't know what's gonna come from it or sorry me, but like, you don't know what's gonna. You don't know what when you when you try? You don't know what's gonna come the heat. You don't know if you are able to have children or not. which is I think, exactly. For women. And especially for me, it's fine. It's like I've always thought about not that I've ever tried for children, but it's like, oh, when I do try children, what will happen? I don't Yeah,

16:46
but also like, and that was an issue that Yeah, and I always assumed that we would have two to three like that. Just like your friend Gemma and then had one and thought go I'll be more than anything in the world but I thought that I would be a natural mum. But logistically, I actually found it really hard like, thinking about, like, Alright, what are you going to eat next? Okay, well, we have to, like, put you in the shower. And now you have to brush your teeth like all of these things constantly. I just honestly thought I was owned by which I was so surprised with because all my friends would say, you're going to be natural mom, all this stuff. And my mom loved being a mom. And she was an incredible mom. And I was just no, it's in the genetics, like, I've got this in the bag.

17:35
became a you're a great mom, Amy. And it's, it's different. You know, it's 100%.

17:40
And I just also know, I know that I know, the toll it takes on me and I thought I thought that it would come easy, if that makes sense.

17:50
And does really work at it.

17:52
I understand that because I think Tim I think that for me, my kids look amazing for me, but I'm like, I don't know. I don't have kids.

18:00
He's hot.

18:01
Like I

18:02
don't I have no idea what's gonna happen.

18:04
But I feel like I went to my private keys because I'm driving kids regardless.

18:08
I will say, I know, one of my nice I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

18:13
I was just gonna say really quickly one of my friends who I thought would be, like, we all were like, oh, look out for this one is gonna struggle. She's on to a second and nailing it. And I'm really like, you just, yeah, you just can't tell. And I almost think that the fact that like, I'm a I'm a super emotional feeling person. She's not and I almost feel like in this case, it helps her because she's just like, Nope, just get on with it and just do it. Whereas I'm just like, oh, you're feeling bad, okay? And then I feel bad. And then like, we're feeling bad together. And then let's try to get out of these together and she's able to just get on with it. And you just don't know, I thought that that would be a real help for me in this and and i think that it's really good for My relationship with Bodie, but I think bringing another kid in the mix would would make it work, but I think it'd be just so hard.

19:07
I definitely

19:11
thought it would be.

19:12
Yeah. And I mean, I wouldn't have any idea because like, I mean, obviously Josh and I don't have kids. And then we sort of decided early on, cuz we've been together forever, since you have a lot, six days knowing each other for like ever as well. So beautiful. And we sort of decided why young, I don't know why. But instinctively, I was like, I don't want to be a parent. And Josh was like, Oh, so going back. And that was like a decision that we made early on. And then about two years ago, I started having issues with like, potentially being able to save and I had this like split moment where it actually all of a sudden is taken away from you and you're like, actually, would I

19:50
be a parent?

19:53
I do you read this together.

19:58
Every now and then, but not so much. I mean, It's really hard because like I love what we have together now. And like we're really happy with it we've really gotten to a place where it like it's really good and I don't know. And I don't know whether I've told myself that story now. Because Yeah, it's hard to know

20:18
it was that obviously like, you don't have to answer this but I What was that like with your friends because I don't consider myself to be naturally very maternal and I've spoken to mom about this and she was the same hair and dad when they got engaged quite light and they were like if we fall pregnant, great if we don't, people dead was different, but mom was sort of where I'm at. I, I would love to have a family but it's not. It's really not my bail and Angel and I have had a strange kind of experience with my girlfriends from high school who were like waiting We want to be moms. We've got this timeline. And ah, I don't know, it's just a funny pressure. So did you have like a similar thing with your friendship group? Or were they very like, yeah, whatever, to each their own?

21:14
Yeah, I think I sort of been only very few of my friend's parents, but I think I have been, ah, they were and also because, like with my nephew, I will see him every weekend if I could. And like all those sort of things, and, you know, close with my friends and their kids. So I think I get so much enjoyment out of being with them and doesn't really, I think when I say it to my friends where I say, Oh, all right. I don't want to have kids. They're like, Oh, I just expected you to be a parent. I don't know why though. Like, you've got that maternal instinct in you. And my two sisters really struggled to have children as well, like they, you know, have that intimate tree osis and Remember, a younger feeling a lot of guilt? not by choice and not wanting to have Yeah. When it was fine for me, I mean, and now it's just so happened that it would be tricky anyway.

22:12
But

22:13
yeah, so I think I, I myself in my mind hold a lot of guilt and resentment to myself for that because early on I thought I was easy for me and people are unfortunate and I should want to have them in terms of like, with my friends and stuff, it's all been totally easy. No one's like, Oh, you don't want to have kids. But it is different when you go on different schedules and try to plan around Yeah.

22:37
different times against the norm as always.

22:41
I've only recently shaken the the selfish branding, which has been super fun to educate my friends on that not everyone is on the same path. And you know, we all want different things in life. So Wow. Yeah, different paths as well like self Fish

23:00
for something that you can't change, like you can't change what you want, you can't change the way that, like your orientation, I feel like that's almost kind of in the same basket, like the way that you're just naturally. And the funny thing is about that, also Bree is that, arguably the selfish thing is to actually have children because of like environmental reasons and those kind of things. And it's so funny that

23:28
society or whatever it is, whatever the The fact is, our cause kneeled in,

23:36
and I think we put so much pressure on

23:38
us to be on definitely, it's a loan size as well, doesn't it? Yeah, we're absolutely conditioned to be like this. Yeah.

23:48
You're meant to use children.

23:52
That's what that's what it is. Like, are you gonna grow up to be a woman? Okay. You develop and then you have a Korea. When are you gonna have kids That's yeah that for me especially is that kind of timeline like you have a career when you're gonna have kids you have a career get married have kids so it's it's it's weird that we're conditioned as as you guys were saying we're conditioned to that

24:17
kind of lifestyle but I'm getting now like so in your body like I think he imagines completely underestimated and just expected of you and I was so shocked. Like when I gave birth i think that i had i was in trauma after that because I was just so shocked at what it

24:38
took. My

24:41
colleague and I got so different this is so different and honestly like the the positives to this is that most of my friends, like had really positive experiences and really happy with the way that everything went. So I don't want I don't want to like feel mangled Anything like that, but I just was in a position where I just couldn't believe what it took. And was, I think I think it honestly took me like a couple years to get over, like, a point now where I'm like, Okay, if, if, if we're in a position to do it again, I would do it again. But there was like a knee or two where I was like, never again, it was just through trauma. Yeah.

25:24
I'm in a strange position now, where it's like, Chris. Chris is so good with children and he's always wanted children. And he has always said, like, hey, we've been together for almost nine years now. So he's said from day one, I would love to be a stay at home dad. But Nana, we're in this funny position where people are like, awful how wonderful that he doesn't have to do that because you work from home so you, you can just, you can just do it. Just

25:58
It's that easy. Anyone, anyone who says that you can work from home and look? Oh, it hasn't had kids in that like,

26:08
week and

26:11
it was?

26:14
Yeah, no, you cannot. And when I was looking after

26:19
I've got my

26:21
minutes of work.

26:22
Sorry. I have Joshua Jackson here behind me hovering and I feel quite bad that I'm still talking but I'm gonna give this

26:30
one's Joshua Janssen. Yes,

26:32
but I would love to see 3d Jill. She says, Tommy,

26:36
I did love.

26:38
I love you guys. This was a great chance.

26:41
Really nice for female.

26:45
It was

26:46
very nice. Female centric.

26:48
Yeah, that mall. actually forgot that thing for

26:54
time. I thought we were just chatting as well. Imagine. Yeah. It was very beautiful.

26:59
Yeah, it was Really nice. I love you all. I like choices. guys were amazing things. Oh, boy.

27:07
You should be nice