Kids in restaurants

Josh: It's hump day, everyone. It's the Daily Talk Show with Josh and Tommy. Tommy, what's going on, mate?

Tommy: What's up?

Josh: Oh, look, I've just been looking at flights on Skyscanner.

Tommy: Is this another fucking just bored Josh thing to do? Because that's something you do do and it's kind of nice.

Josh: I just, I click around. No, I've got, I'm filming next week, you know, The Minimalists.

Tommy: Oh, yes.

Josh: They've got the podcast and all that sort of thing.

Tommy: You're doing a live? Tour of Australia.

Josh: Yeah, so I'm going like, I'm filming their stuff in Sydney, Melbourne, and Auckland. So, it's the Auckland one that I'm trying to sort out. But the flights are interesting because they're all, you either, this, I don't want, like I straight away uncheck Jetstar. Won't fucking fly Jetstar. Because of all my bags and stuff. But, and they're just a pain in the ass to carry on. But I'm trying to find the optimum flights because it's like if you go super late from Melbourne to Auckland, you actually arrive at a good time, like 5:30 in the morning. So, you have the whole day.

Tommy: I flew recently to Auckland and we flew. Yeah, we were struggling to find the right flight and we ended up coming home on a 3 or 4 o'clock flight that got us in really late. But everyone in the house, everyone left the day after the wedding and they all got on the 6 AM flight, which means We, most of us got home at 1 and they were up at 3 to get to the airport. It is a pain in the ass. That is one of the flights. Yeah. New Zealand is annoying.

Josh: And so, I was even looking at— Yeah. Well, no, like not even, like I was like looking at any option and it's like very few, like timing-wise, if you leave Melbourne at like 8 AM, you won't get in till like midday, maybe. Oh, no. After that, like. Afternoon, so it's impossible. I was trying to work it out. So, Bri just comes up and we sort of have a couple of days in New Zealand.

Tommy: Get there 2 days before.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. Well, just to like— Bri's never been.

Tommy: Mate, the problem with going to Auckland, it's—

Josh: All the nice stuff's out. Like, it's not like— I've been in the city like 3 or 4 times for conferences and it's like a mini Melbourne. It's like an Adelaide or like Hobart.

Tommy: It's not New Zealand, as in it doesn't have what New Zealand's known for.

Josh: Maybe I need to set the expectation with Bri around what it is.

Tommy: She'll be massively disappointed. Although there is some really good food. We went to this awesome, it's almost like the Grove in LA and it's this food, it's almost like a market that just has epic food places all through it. And do you know who Action Bronson is?

Josh: Basketballer? No, no, no.

Tommy: He's like a— Oh, you would actually probably know him. He's the food guy. He's got like this food show on Vice.

Josh: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Tommy: Red-headed, red-beard dude.

Josh: Oh, no.

Tommy: He's a rapper.

Josh: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: He was on— But he does food too.

Josh: Did you say Vice? Yeah, he was on the— I do remember that. He made like his perfect cheeseburger. Yeah. I watched that.

Tommy: So, he went to this bagel shop that we went to and it's like just this legit— And they yell out the order. And so, it's like this, they've got this big oven, almost looks like a, it looks basically like a pizza oven, like a wood-fired pizza oven. But they get these big paddles with all the bagels on and they send them in. And so, you order like a peanut butter and jelly and then they're like, "Peanut butter and jelly!" And then they all start yelling it and it's like, it goes through the shop to get to make sure the order has got through to the chef that makes it.

Josh: It's actually cool. That reminds me of Hard Rock. Remember Hard Rock in Melbourne? Party at Jansen, party of 2, Jansen.

Tommy: I never went, but I know it. So, it was like you're giving me directions.

Josh: You never went to Hard Rock? Yeah, well, fuck, that was like our, like growing up in the suburbs. Yeah. Going to a restaurant, I guess, especially as a kid, as kids.

Tommy: Where was Hard Rock?

Josh: It was in the city. I believe it was on Exhibition Street.

Tommy: Did you go to Johnny Rockets on Chapel Street? Nah, nah. It's like a road blaze.

Josh: Bri and I went. Uh, like in recent years before they— did they reno it or something?

Tommy: They demolished the building where it was. I think it might have moved.

Josh: Yeah, we were like— so was that your thing as a kid?

Tommy: Well, that was where the Fun Parlor— the Fun Factory. Do you ever go to the Fun Factory?

Josh: No.

Tommy: Fuck, it was like, um, Intensity. Intensity was— or Timeout.

Josh: Oh, you mean Time Zone.

Tommy: Time Zone. Time Zone. So there's Time Zone, Intensity, tonnes of fun. Intensity was, I think, next to the fun at the Fun Parlour. And the Fun Parlour had like a roller skating rink back before you'd get dissed for rollerblading. And yeah, so it was sort of underneath, it was near Q Bar if you're a nightclubber in Melbourne.

Josh: So, you're saying that Johnny Rockets was at the same place? It's literally across, it was across from Channel 10 through Como.

Tommy: Como House. Yeah, Como Park.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: We've got some emails that have come through. We're going to get to them a little later in the show.

Josh: We're going to try and make that our thing at the end of each ep. We'll spend some time with the email for the family. If we've got any. Mate, we got like 4 emails, I think.

Tommy: Which will last us a week if we spread them out, and then we've got a day where we have to make one up.

Josh: But so, just going back onto the restaurants and that sort of thing. What's the etiquette around, what do you think with Bodhi, taking him out to restaurants? What's the— My dad, Just gets really annoyed at kids. Like, he gets real grumpy if they're like at a restaurant. He'll be, he'll say like, these kids shouldn't be here type of thing. What's the rules?

Tommy: Brodie's in a bit of a screaming mood at the moment, as in just like using his voice. He's gone through a month of this before where he literally just works out that he can, ah, ah, and just does it even louder and longer than that.

Josh: Yeah, well.

Tommy: And so, no, I'm not up for taking him to a a pub. The only way would be if it was like outside dining and it was like sort of loud anyway.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But I, yeah, I usually have them out the front of cafes in the pram and I always get takeaway in case I have to bail if we're sitting down. No, half the time we, cause as soon as we start, Josh said he would turn all his notifications off. Far out.

Josh: This is fucking annoying. So this is the problem is It's that do— It's the exact do not disturb issue that happened. Bree was just calling me.

Tommy: Yeah, we don't care.

Josh: So, I need to put it on, like, change it now. I'm literally changing it right now to allow calls from. I'm changing it from favourites to no one. Okay.

Tommy: There we go. I'll move on. Yeah, so, I want to take him out. I'm respectful because I am that dude who fucking is annoyed, like, keep your kids' shit contained or just— You're— If you're at a— I think it's quite logical. If it's like a nice restaurant, don't bring a screaming kid. If it's a—

Josh: I get annoyed at Dad because I'm like, Dad, like, when he's like in an area that is like a kid's zone, that's where you got to be like— If you're going to a park, you can't be upset with the kids running around.

Tommy: Here's an insight, though. For like, I went at Jules Lund's house, we took Bodhi there. And he's got 2 kids that they've been through all of that.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: They're now like 5 and 7 or something. So, they're at school, but Bodhi was squealing or screaming and Amy and I, we didn't even really notice.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And Jules is like, oh, you can't, it's like you guys can't even hear that. He wasn't being mean, but he's like, I remember you totally tune out to your kids' scream. You become immune to it.

Josh: Yeah. Whereas other people, it's like, It's real jarring. It's just like piercing.

Tommy: Well, if— Yeah, if you're not a kid person. And so, those people who get angry at bars and stuff.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Probably like just not kid people.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Or haven't had a kid because we can't hardly hear his scream because we're ignoring him so much.

Josh: I don't mind the screaming. Like, I'm pretty good on flights of just ignoring shit, just putting on noise-cancelling headphones. But I remember I was just ready to strangle this kid because they were old enough to scream, "I want the iPad!" I'm like, like, if you're old enough to say fucking iPad, I'll belt the shit out of you. Like, it was just like such a spoiled little brat. I just couldn't believe— I was just like, how is this happening? If you can talk, you're— I feel like you're getting closer to a point of being able to rationalise. Yeah.

Tommy: I've had one of those things where it's like in my head I get paranoid if I start thinking, oh, that guy's gonna, you know, that big Oh, the white guy's going to sit next to me.

Josh: Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Tommy: I see him walking down, bit of that, and then I, like, I always worry because it's happened. I've thought that he was and he did.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Or I thought the kid was going to come to me and it did. And so, now when someone jumps on, I look away because I don't want to even engage in the thought that they might be sitting next to me because it'll probably happen.

Josh: Which I think they would sense too. I remember doing a mini doco on a guy, a tech dude who lost a bunch of weight.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And he was, he ended up going to fat camp. And the reason for it was he was just like on a flight and just had everyone, and you could just see they were trying to avoid.

Tommy: That must be such a bad feeling.

Josh: Yeah, but it's like some airlines are good. Like my mate who's a bigger guy flew Southwest Airlines and they just said, hey, do you think you'd be comfortable if no one was sitting next to you? He's like, yeah, sure. And they're like, here. Take this like a little card and you basically put it on your seat and everyone— It was— Southwest is sort of sit wherever you want type of thing. It's not allocated. So, you just put a little reserve thing and then take it off and then everyone's happy.

Tommy: Can we see that reserve card and get it printed? Put it on a flyer.

Josh: I mean, it's like— And I guess that's the— I mean, what I like about Southwest is they are very—

Tommy: I don't know. What is Southwest? American Airlines or something?

Josh: Southwest is an American Airlines. They're sort of— Got a weird stigma because they're counted as like one of the cheap airlines, right? Like, you know, think about Tiger and all that sort of stuff. The thing is, though, they're a low-cost airline, no frills, but they're actually the best domestic airline, I think, in the US because you get 2 bags standard domestically. Right. So, if you're flying international and shit like that and have internal flights, Southwest is great. They don't fluctuate prices based on how soon after, like soon to the time you book. So, if you need a last-minute flight, you can still get a decent price flight. They'll do refunds, they'll do— There's so many things that they're just really good at.

Tommy: So, they've done it. Like, that's their thing and everyone else is like sucked in. You bought your flight, you can't get your money back.

Josh: Yeah. And so, the— And they have the other amazing thing with Southwest is With some of the— With their reward program, once you get to status, you basically get a free companion flight. I think I've maybe spoken about that before, but you get—

Tommy: Companion as in for—

Josh: For someone else. So, basically, it means that once you get status, every time you fly anywhere, Amy flies free. She pays $5 for tax in the US. If you want to go to Mexico, $15 for tax. So, there's heaps of people who fly, like Southwest is very popular for like consultants who are flying throughout the US and things like that. They get this companion pass and then they book trips to Mexico for super cheap.

Tommy: Man, US is a different breed. Like we've got what? Sydney, so New South Wales.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Queensland, Brisbane, the capital. Yeah. Adelaide, Perth, whatever. So, there's like 5 or, you know, 5 main places you could go for business. Whereas when you live in the States, Denver, fucking Texas.

Josh: Yeah, there's so many.

Tommy: So many. All the— all down California, San Francisco, over to the West Coast. Like, you could be going— I know a guy that moved over there recently and he works for a big gym chain, like in that the company fit out gyms with all their equipment.

Josh: Oh yeah, cool.

Tommy: They're huge. And so he got, he got all these expenses paid to go and move there and the green card, all this stuff. Like, he got it all taken care of. But he flies around, and I look at his Instagram, he's in a new state like every day. And it's like, well, how many states are there? 52 states or something?

Josh: Yeah, I think so. Maybe 51.

Tommy: Yeah, there's just over 50.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so like, you could be flying around. So there is more probably people doing those flights constantly throughout a week, going to 5 different places.

Josh: And they're so good. And with Southwest, they've always been so seamless with their connecting flights. So, I've— And I've seen so many airports within the US because it won't be uncommon to have a couple of like stopovers on the way, but they're so undisruptive. Like you literally just sort of like pop on to the next one.

Tommy: Yeah, we're very laid back here in Australia.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, look, darl, you're going to have to wait 5 hours.

Josh: Yeah, but the thing is, in saying that, US domestic flights are a clusterfuck. Like, in general, the delays, especially you think about like the extreme weather, East Coast during fucking winter is a nightmare because you'll just have like snow.

Tommy: Yeah, going to Seattle, it's fucked. It's completely snowed out. Yeah.

Josh: And it just like affects all of them, and they are less sort of inclined to give you a, like, food vouchers and shit like that.

Tommy: So, this is— We'll get away from travelling.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because I think most, I mean, maybe half the people listening don't ever fly to the States.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because it's fucking far away.

Josh: It's true. You gotta have a real reason to go. We've got people all over the US listening. I did a zoom out and it's just, we can sort of see very roughly where people are listening.

Tommy: So, it gives you a heat map of their location.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Hawaii.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Did you see that?

Josh: No, I didn't see that, no.

Tommy: It was like this little dot. In the ocean and then you zoom in, it turns into land.

Josh: Hawaii.

Tommy: Hawaii. That's sick. The hack I told you the other day for people who live in Australia, and I don't know—

Josh: What's the hack?

Tommy: I don't remember. The hack is— Sorry, I was trying to remember a storey that I got in trouble for on radio. Sorry, I'll tell you the hack and then I'll tell you what I got a call from like the tax department or the local council calling into the radio station to complain about something I said. Which is funny.

Josh: Oh, that's awesome.

Tommy: So, the hack is signing up for APRA, which basically says that you're a musician.

Josh: You didn't say this on air, by the way.

Tommy: No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about something when I was in Shepparton.

Josh: No, no, no. This APRA thing that you're talking about?

Tommy: Yeah, I'm saying that now.

Josh: Yeah. You never have said this in the podcast.

Tommy: No.

Josh: Okay, perfect.

Tommy: So, I'm saying this is a hack and I might do it. Because if you don't, if you're not flying enough, you're not going to get status and you're going to spend a shitload of money on flights to get status, which means extra bags. Like Josh.

Josh: You are so fucking pumped that you have a life hack. I've got many.

Tommy: I've got many. But this is a good one. APRA, sign up. You're a musician, essentially.

Josh: APRA is like the lic— What is it? It's like the Australia, like performance rights artists something fucking blah blah. Basically, if you are a music— A musician, you would go on APRA and I guess they would help with things like licensing. There's APRA and PPCA. I had to do all this shit when I was, had my internet radio streaming this show because you had to pay, you have to pay APRA. And so, APRA fees will come from retailers and shit. So, if fucking Sports Girl wants to play music in their store, they have to pay APRA and PPCA to be able to have those rights. So, what you're saying is if you sign up As an APRA musician, you get like a bunch of perks. Yeah.

Tommy: And one of those perks is 2 bags per flight. So, you always get extra luggage for Virgin.

Josh: That's sick. I need to look into that. I mean, I currently have status with Virgin, but I wonder if that would then double my— Double, you get 4 bags per flight.

Tommy: Well, my mate said it was like $3 to sign up as an artist to APRA. So, if you travel a lot, maybe look into that.

Josh: Surely that's—

Tommy: You're in a suit, you're looking far less like a rock star and you fucking got a suitcase, but you get 2 bags.

Josh: Think about APRA, it could be, you could be a label representative. True. There's lots of that sort of stuff. So, what did you get in trouble with?

Tommy: So, I thought to myself, fuck, I'm going to be out of town when we need to vote. And they created a voting booth. There was a few around town.

Josh: You should put in multiple votes.

Tommy: No, no, no, no. I said on air, and I was by myself because the co-host was gone at that stage.

Josh: What do you mean gone at that stage?

Tommy: Oh, they were transitioning. One quit.

Josh: And so you were doing it solo?

Tommy: I was doing it solo. It was easy as piss. I'd just do 20 seconds of talking and then hit this song.

Josh: No one left. You were essentially a music jock.

Tommy: Yeah, and I did some interviews that I'd put in, like the one about that guy who walked and read books.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: I've actually got that interview. I want to play it on this podcast, not today. But I said, oh, you know, it's great. Like, I didn't, you know, if you need to get a vote in, just get down to the early voting centre and get your vote in before. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. Do you think there's anything wrong with that?

Josh: No, no, no. I mean, that is like the classic life hack where people like the one that's common that I've heard around here. Is go—

Tommy: For voting.

Josh: For voting when you're doing local elections is go just outside of your electorate.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Because if you go outside of your electorate, there's a different line, which is sort of people outside and it's always way shorter.

Tommy: So, it turns out that you're not actually allowed to go to the early voting centre if you haven't got a reason for you not being able to Vote.

Josh: Yeah, I know, but how are they going to police that?

Tommy: But I said it on a local radio station that reaches 50,000 people, and I'm sure people probably like, yeah, great thing, Tommy, you're a fucking, you're a legend, mate. And then they called up the local council, local government, and said, um, that's not allowed, it is for people who are going overseas. I'm sure there was a bit of that tone.

Josh: And so wait, who, who would that call have gotten to?

Tommy: It goes through to the programme director, who then comes in to say it to me.

Josh: And what was the vibe? Was the programme director— did they think it was funny, or were they like, mate, no, they just pull your fucking head in, mate?

Tommy: They get a lot of calls. They're the one that get any of the complaints sent through, so they filter it whether they tell us or not. And so they— he told me, but it was like, oh yeah, you just can't say that. I was like, oh fuck, I was a bit of an idiot.

Josh: Did you swear on air?

Tommy: Never. Remember I said the closest I got was shit, and it was in context to something that was appropriate, you know, like there was shit on the ground or—

Josh: Yeah, sure. And how, how, like when you were in Shepparton and you'd walk the streets, yeah, would it— because there's like a billboard, like not billboards, but there's like signage and stuff. Did they ever invest in signs?

Tommy: Did you ever get on a TV ad?

Josh: Oh, that's great.

Tommy: Never did.

Josh: How shit was it?

Tommy: Oh, so shit. It was filmed, you could have filmed it with your iPhone, it would look better.

Josh: Thank you.

Tommy: And it was, it was so corny that it was written. I can't remember. I think I have it. Oh, some—

Josh: was it, was it Mike Coward?

Tommy: No, no, no. It was just, it was so crummy and it just was corny and looked shit. And I was so embarrassed that it was on television.

Josh: Television?

Tommy: Well, it was on Channel 10, which was like—

Josh: WIN? No, Prime?

Tommy: Prime's 9, I think. I think it was WIN.

Josh: No, WIN's 9.

Tommy: WIN's 9.

Josh: Prime's 7.

Tommy: Prime's 7 and then Southern Cross. Southern Cross. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, okay.

Tommy: And so yeah, it was on there, but it was, it was fucking cringe.

Josh: Yeah, not ideal.

Tommy: But yes, there was people around that, that knew me from the radio because it's like there's not much else. Like, it is a centre point. Like, it's on in all the shops. Like, I'd hear myself on the radio in, in shops when I like hear our ads going when I was in the supermarket. Yeah, it's kind of cool because it's like, they saturate the market with you. And so it is everywhere. Like, I look at my breakdown now that I'm on a business page on Instagram.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And you can see where your audience is.

Josh: And they're all fucking from Shepparton.

Tommy: Well, no, they're not all from Shepparton, but the breakdown of audience is Melbourne, Sydney, Shepparton.

Josh: How many from Shepparton?

Tommy: Well, it's a lower percentage. It doesn't actually say, but it's like, see, Melbourne's the most because I live here, Sydney second, and then Shepparton.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So, I've still got some people that follow me from Cherbourg. It's cool.

Josh: Did you get anyone noticing you from the Obike stuff? Anyone stop you in the streets?

Tommy: Nah.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Or throw an Obike at me.

Josh: Nah.

Tommy: But fuck, man, a lot of people— A friend of mine told me he was on a boat in the Yarra.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like on one of those sort of cruises down the Yarra. And there was people watching my video on the boat.

Josh: Oh, that's cool.

Tommy: And he's like, fuck, hey, that's my mate's video.

Josh: Mate, what else is going on?

Tommy: So, I wanted to— Have you had your car towed? I feel like you're the kind of guy that would have it.

Josh: I think maybe.

Tommy: You think? How the fuck would you forget and have your car towed?

Josh: No, I think I was in a Clearway. I think I just got like a fucking $600 fine, Clearway type of deal. And I remember I would have been very close to having it towed.

Tommy: Okay. So, you came back. So, you haven't had it towed. I think you'd remember this.

Josh: It still cost me a fuck tonne of money, though. Okay. But yeah, no, I feel like something has, something like that has happened. But tell me your story.

Tommy: I've never been towed.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: But where I drive from St Kilda over to my office in Collingwood every day is down Barkley Street in St Kilda. Clearways. And then on to Punt Road, there's clearways and stuff. And without doubt, 3 times a week I see cars getting towed.

Josh: Yeah. And the tow trucks are sit around the corner.

Tommy: Yeah, they're waiting. There's like 4 of them. So, they know the spot. So, they just got to go, well, if we get one there.

Josh: What a business. Like, what a crazy, like, that's just like a real built-in business, isn't it? It's like.

Tommy: You would get a government contract, you'd think, or a council contract.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: So, you just roll up.

Josh: $200 bucks a, yeah.

Tommy: So, I saw this girl and it was early in the morning and I was driving to work and she ran out of her house and she's looking around. She was barefoot. She looked like she'd just woken up. And she, she's like looking around, runs down the street, like literally running, like frantic looking girl, disheveled. I first thought maybe she'd like, I don't know, had a one night stand and she's like fucking going home or something. But then I realized, cause she's like runs down, looks left and right and her car's fucking gone. I got tired. I felt so sorry for her.

Josh: Like I felt her pain. Cause it's just like, it feels like you've been, even though you've done the wrong thing, It still feels like you're being violated, like someone's taking my property.

Tommy: She would have slept in and it was 7:40 and it goes at 7:30, it goes clear.

Josh: That's so upsetting.

Tommy: And yesterday I saw just a bit, a little bit down from this, this fucking car getting pulled up onto the thing and this dude standing there just like scrunching his hair. He'd come back and he's now watching his car get pulled up and they were having like an altercation, verbal altercation, and one of them's like, 'Hey, can you just get it? Can I just have it back?' He's like, 'Mate, it's tow zone. It's fucking tow zone. Look, there's signs there.' And then one guy walks down, he's like, 'Where are they?' And there was a sign way down.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And then cheekily on a light post, pretty much in front of them, about 5 metres in the air, like this is the highest sign you've ever seen in your life. Like it's 3 times the size of a normal sign height. Up on this light post is a clearway zone. And he's like, look, man, how the fuck would I know? It's way up there. Can I please have, you know, and he just wouldn't give it.

Josh: I fucking hate it. So, this is something happened to me first week of starting my business was like, was like, you know, it was when you, when you're starting a business, you sort of getting up and running, you're sort of highly strung in the sense of you're thinking about like, Fuck, I've just like quit my job. I'm now doing my business thing. I need to be making coin.

Tommy: There's a lot at stake.

Josh: Yeah. And you also like, you're being a bit of a penny pincher at that point because every dollar counts. Yeah. And I went to LIMAC in Richmond. It was on a Wednesday.

Tommy: That's where?

Josh: LIMAC's on— Back Street? Back Street, Richmond. Yeah, near that oval type of thing, near sort of the cop shop and the— McDonald's and stuff. It's just sort of near there. And I'm trying to remember the street anyway.

Tommy: It's a random spot, though, is my point. Because, yeah.

Josh: So, I got a tripod and there was a difference between like a $1,000 tripod and a $1,200 tripod. And I decided, I'm like, I'd love the $1,200 one, but I'm just going to get the $1,000 one. And I literally had gone in, there was a park out the front, which like never happened. It was always taken. And I ran in, probably would have been there for like 10 minutes, came out, the person had just put a ticket. And what it was, was Wednesdays between like 8 AM and 10 AM, you can't park there. And the sign was fuck it. Like there was like a gap between, there was like a an island, like a, not a traffic island, but there was like a gap between my car park and that thing. So, it was like, it looked all disconnected. And I was so, I was in the car driving home and I cried. I remember I cried. I was like, this is only like 2, 2 and a half years ago.

Tommy: How much was it?

Josh: It was like $200. It was like—

Tommy: Oh, fuck, they're expensive, those no-standing things.

Josh: Yeah, it was like whatever I was going to get the tripod, like I could have—

Tommy: Ah, I see, you made it.

Josh: I was really like, it was a pity party. Like I was so, and I remember just doing a post like in that headspace you can get really funny. And I like, I was posting on social about it. I remember my mate Jimmy, who was the HR director at Envato at the time. I think he was like, mate, you're right. It's not like you just fucking quit and you're going off your rocker.

Tommy: Some of us can get in our head about it and most of us do. But most of us don't go and share it on Facebook.

Josh: Exactly. But, and that's the, and that's the thing, right? It's the, there's a discipline to emotion and stuff like that, right?

Tommy: What is it? Why do you feel like you should go and share it on Facebook?

Josh: Well, it's because it's an injustice. So, it's like I want everyone to know how fucked up this is. And so, but it's that thing of like, it's the, I think it's the desire to want to action, to have some form of action, but you don't know what to to do. It's the same reason that you go— you were slamming Telstra yesterday, right? Because it's like, what else do you do, right?

Tommy: Well, I slammed them because that's what you said to do, slam them on Twitter. Yeah, well, I think the tweet directly to the company and they should respond.

Josh: Well, yeah, the, the social teams are a lot more sort of localised than the— than just the, uh, call centers.

Tommy: That didn't work. I'm not fucking doing it again. I don't have enough followers. Yeah, they just palm me off and said, look, you know, I have a reference number so we can't help you, just call call centre. Fuck Telstra. Yeah, seriously, they send me a $600, nearly $700 bill and it's totally incorrect.

Josh: There's another sponsor we're never gonna get.

Tommy: I don't care, they're the worst network that I've ever had.

Josh: How about this, uh, before we get to the emails, when I was working at Fifi and Jules on the radio show, I was the digital content producer, I was in Port Melbourne and had this terrible experience with Nando's. And they do— I can't remember what happened. It was something really—

Tommy: And you hit them up on Insta or Facebook?

Josh: No, it was really lame. It was something like around the, uh, I ordered a large chips and they gave me a small but charged me a large. I don't know. There was— and they wouldn't like do anything about it. And so I got on Twitter just being like, Port Melbourne Nando's never again. And I got an email from Kerry Jones, who was the EP for FIFA and you were saying, Josh, can you please take that down now? Nando's, it was one of our sponsors.

Tommy: Yeah, it is true. Like, let me say fuck Telstra is like, potentially if I ever work with them, it's probably a bad thing. But you know what? It has been the worst experience. Yeah, from a consumer. Like, you can't get away from that, right? And so if it's true.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. Look, I think, uh, yeah, truth wins. It's, um, Sometimes you can be strategic and like, am I going to hurt me more than them? Because say if McDonald's, if you know that you could easily, like we've got friends who would be able to make a lot of money doing deals with McDonald's. So, you know, they're going to be a lot more careful about what they say. Yeah.

Tommy: And that's understandable.

Josh: So, emails. You got some emails?

Tommy: Oh, yeah, yeah. We're at that time now.

Josh: Yeah. It's already, it's been half an hour. I'm trying to be better at like really nailing it down.

Tommy: One of them is from Sean, who, avid listener, and he's on my side with this Telstra thing. He hit me up on Twitter and said, mate, how's it all going with the Telstra stuff? So, we're out in force against you, Telstra, and you—

Josh: Sean can build your website, build a Telstra fucked me website.

Tommy: I said on one of the episodes, Sean, if you've got a business or something you want to plug. Yeah, because Josh is playing.

Josh: He's come back too with something.

Tommy: Yeah, he's got a business.

Josh: It's a cool website, hi@thedailytalkshow.com is where you can send your emails.

Tommy: Yes, his business is Timber Boulevard, B-L-V-D. Yeah, they sell sunnies, wooden sunnies.

Josh: Yeah, sick.

Tommy: Fuck, I'd wear those.

Josh: Yeah, let's have a look. They've got watches as well.

Tommy: They've got watches and stuff. Anyway, he's sent some stuff through. Thanks for sending that, buddy. Um, I don't know if I said it or you said it. I— so one of us said if you have storeys from Josh at school, yeah, or from being a kid, like, what's your version? Because you have a very painted, clear picture. Yeah, you painted in my mind of who you were and what you did, having the fucking access to the PA system, walking around the schoolyard with the teachers.

Josh: Absolutely. I was also the first person in my school to get the principal's award. I think I got about 24 Derwent pencils. Anyway, go on.

Tommy: All right. So, this is from anonymous because they don't want to be—

Josh: Okay, sure.

Tommy: They don't want to share their name, but the name of the email, Mosgill Park.

Josh: Mosgill Park.

Tommy: Mosgill, is that the school?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Mosgill Park Stories with Josh.

Josh: Mosgill Park Primary School.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I created my— the first website for the primary school.

Tommy: Very nice.

Josh: It was on a MatMice. There was— there used to be a web service called MatMice where you could build— where kids could build a site. It went huge and it was started by these like young kids in like Sydney. It was awesome.

Tommy: That's cool.

Josh: Yeah, go on.

Tommy: The email says, hi guys, I recently discovered your show. I know I'm late to the party, but Josh wanted some nostalgic stories, so it must have been you.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Anyway, I'll go on. There's a bit there.

Josh: This reminds me of, very quickly, I was listening to Fifi and Jul— So, Fifi, Feb and Byron in the morning and hearing Feb do live reads when he can't read.

Tommy: Oh, yeah, true. Are you saying I can't fucking read?

Josh: It's got that vibe.

Tommy: I went to Mosgill Park.

Josh: Spell it out.

Tommy: With Josh. Thus, I have a number of hilarious storeys involving Josh that have now re-entered my mind.

Josh: Okay, here we go.

Tommy: Early in Josh's— I hate the name of your fucking school. I don't want to say it.

Josh: Just say MPPS.

Tommy: No, that's even longer. I'm just going to say school. Early days in Josh's— early days.

Josh: You know what? We're not, we're not reading the fan mail. We're not reading the fan mail. Just shut up.

Tommy: I'm reading. I'm reading. I'm the special kid in the class that needs fucking silence.

Josh: Yeah. Or I can't read.

Tommy: This is fucking unbelievable. You're nervous. That's why you're trolling me as I'm talking.

Josh: No, I don't have to do anything. You're fumbling over your words. Early days.

Tommy: He developed a reputation of being able to imitate flatulence with his hand and armpit. He seemed to have a never-ending Rolodex of arse sounds. The cadence was revolutionary.

Josh: I do actually remember. I wonder if I could do a fart sound. I haven't done one probably since primary school. You know, like the armpit.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's like hair.

Josh: Hang on, I'll get—

Tommy: Go.

Josh: Oh, fuck. Jesus.

Tommy: All right, you just smashed my mic.

Josh: Nice, two microphones.

Tommy: That was, uh, we really do.

Josh: Jesus Christ. And it was a real good sound. It worked. Ready? Here we go.

Tommy: Okay, Josh has lost his touch at doing that. Nah, stop that. You should see Josh right now.

Josh: It just sounds like man boob hitting on my head, which is essentially what it is. Fucking hell.

Tommy: Right, we got more. Josh grew such a following that he began to develop prima donna traits. Typically, we would gather around the playground as Josh made his melodies, which he would call arse mistakes.

Josh: I don't know, I never remember that.

Tommy: He would then celebrate his accomplishments by beating his chest like an orangutan and declaring superiority.

Josh: I don't remember this.

Tommy: Who is this?

Josh: Who's first to take the piss down?

Tommy: The crowd would clap, then quickly disperse through. Although Josh's incredible talents were considered majestic and thus voided if teachers ever found out. We wanted to keep this secret, ours and ours alone, but I knew something smelled fishy. Bum pun intended. All right, this person's trying to be a funny bugger. I noticed Josh was crouching in the sandpit and was secretly eating baked beans at high volume.

Josh: This person's a— You know what?

Tommy: This is true.

Josh: We've been trying. Fuck. Are you— Are they sniffing glue? What's going on? They're sniffing glue.

Tommy: So he would also eat prunes and Metamucil, which I thought was unusual for somebody in primary school.

Josh: Never had Metamucil before. Never had Metamucil.

Tommy: Alright, I'm going to jump forward a bit. As Josh's fans scattered after another one of his performances, I decided to linger and confront Josh. Because I stayed back longer than anybody else had dared to before, I inadvertently exposed myself to a smell that I would best describe as devastating, horrible, and offensive. So they're saying you're actually farting. Josh quickly confessed his armpit farts were in fact genuine farts from his ass. This is like, we couldn't even fucking make this up. Someone's gone—

Josh: Gone to a lot of creative effort. Well, so the arm fart bit is the armpit fart stuff. They've gone real, real, real, real, and then just gone fucking—

Tommy: Way off.

Josh: Way off. I think all the glues.

Tommy: Josh then explained how he threw out his pants and undies before thinking of a proper solution, which I probably would have liked.

Josh: That's, that's not too far off. Did you ever shit your pants at school?

Tommy: I told— have I told you the shitting pants story? No, no, I'll tell— no, it's not a quick story. Um, anyway, Josh is a matai. Matai. Matai. Is that right? Josh is a matai. Keep up the Daily Show. I am enjoying it. Fuck, that's funny that someone's gone out of the way to write that. I appreciate that.

Josh: No, I do too. Thank you, Anonymous.

Tommy: Um, well, if you want to actually get—

Josh: we need to— what we'll do in future is we'll maybe read the email first and highlight bits we wanted.

Tommy: No, that's fine.

Josh: That was good. That was a bit of good content.

Tommy: It was a story. It was actually crafted into a story, one long storey that— I wonder how long that took them.

Josh: It was worth it. Not as long as it took you to read. Yeah, it's the Daily Talk Show. Please Send us an email, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. We do have the PO Box. Those details are in the podcast description. And all previous episodes can be found at thedailytalkshow.com. Everyone, have a great Wednesday. We'll see you tomorrow.

Tommy: Bye.