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It's the daily Talk Show Episode 613 in the studio, Dr. Nikki Goldstein. Welcome. Yeah, we

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haven't done anything yet. You're already clapping me. Well, you're a first sexologist on the show. Oh, good and only monogamous relationship? Well, we can we can say relationships with any. You know, any other sexologist. If you are our in house sexologist here in the house. We're looking for that this year. Okay.

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Super, as well.

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As George, we have to pay you to be in it. I mean, we would really have to I mean, do we have to people have problems that go to sexologist is that like, we only generally, I think, you go to a sexologist, so Okay, six. ology is the umbrella term, right? So underneath that, then there's different roles. So you can be a sex educator, you can be a sex therapist. I kind of take the role of sex education.

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I actually don't like clients can be really annoying being in a private practice where people just come and dump their crap on me. You're the Dr. Phil or the dr. oz of the sex industry in that. Yeah, I like that analogy. Yeah, I like that analogy. I get my hands dirty, so to speak. And I do the research and I go out there speaking about sex when no one else wants to. So you don't have to come to me. I'll come to you. Yeah. I mean, it is the ultimate what people are thinking but not really talking about? Yeah, I'll say it. I follow someone. I mean, he's passing out he's known as Ram Dass. He's a spiritual guru.

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And so I followed him on Instagram. But you know, I just went down this rabbit hole he passed away last year and I just got heavily into him over the Christmas break and listen to 15 hours straight of him. He's amazing. But one of the things is like, unconditional love and he met this guru who was like, unless you can tell me your deepest, darkest secrets. We can't be working together. And he took that on and taught that teaching which is like you need to be

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able to talk about yourself. And that happens in group facilitated sessions where they exploring, you know, the, you know, that spiritual path. And one of the things he said was, the main thing that people are keeping is sexual thoughts or sexual things going on in their head that they're not talking about. And so it's quite like I laughed at that moment, cuz it's like, it is so true this shit in my head that has never made it out until you know, verbalised To

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me, this is your time. Yeah, so does there it plays on people's mind, I think, Well, you know, it's amazing being a sexologist. And people like to confess things to me, and they feel comfortable and safe. And I'm very honoured and privileged that I get to be in that position in people's lives. But it's amazing the stuff that I get told, and I think, if only you could tell that to your partner, or friend, that you could live your life more honestly, that the problem is that we all have this issue of conformity. You know, we all want to conform to societal norms and standards, especially when we're in a relationship.

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You know, often we have gotten into that relationship sexually, things are new and exciting. It's like the fancy new toy that we just can't get enough of, then we start to cement their life together. And we might have kids, we might get married, we're, you know, living together dealing with the everyday stresses, and we're not exploring our sexuality enough. And we tend to push all that stuff kind of back in our head in our stomach and go, now, I don't think my partner is going to be into it. Or that's not really what you're supposed to do in a relationship. And then we go on for using these not talking about sex and our desires and our fantasies and also being confused about them ourselves, we often don't know how to digest them and work out what we want. And what's the difference between just something we saw in Poland and something that we actually really want to try. So then we get people that, you know, a not connecting sexually and not enjoying sex. And it's kind of to me a no brainer as to why, you know, people scratch their head and good Why are we all struggling? And why do we almost spice things up? Because one of the biggest problems is that we don't communicate about sex. So how do you know how to pleasure your partner, if you're probably

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isn't talking to you about that? And maybe they don't even know themselves in the first place? Why is there such a high representation of step moms on the homepage of porn hub? It's not just step moms. I mean, you know, one of the most fascinating and honest representation of human sexuality is porn. Because when you have a look at all these crazy things that come out like I got sent this some this clip, there's a company called pure taboo. So if you really want to have a look at the extreme stuff, they do those really taboo topics so we're talking about incest and all that kind of stuff and it's done quite creatively but you know, the reality of it is is that you can measure these days what something is being clicked on. How many times people are viewing it, that's what I love porn hubbs Pornhub gear and review. Come out we do that saves read that at set my mind in there.

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Before you said,

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says bad to say the only stuff that

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George likes is obviously of that one but

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we're not

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that severe wow so backed off no idea well it's well and then the stuff around like when the super balls on and what happens to yeah times that you know the when the elections around but you can look at the categories and you look at how many people are actually viewing this stuff so we're able to go hang on a second if we're looking at billions and millions of views on these genres, then someone's being into someone's fascinated by it doesn't necessarily mean that you want to do that thing and this is where it starts to get complex because you might be searching and we keep going to the step one thing but you might be searching that genre of porn, but it excites you but doesn't mean that you particularly want to go out and have sex in that manner or role play with your partner that she's your stepmom? Not necessarily the status then is it like is it status roles, about like often it's about

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Boo. So it feels very out of bounds and naughty and not, you know, not like we should be doing it. And that in itself is exciting. Sometimes there can be an element there that you get turned on, it could be something to do with status, it could be something to do with an early sexual experience that you had. And that reminds you of that of something that happened in your childhood. There are so many different reasons as to why you might be turned on by that specific thing. But that's why sometimes instead of looking at the Y, it's about trying to work out how we function with that, because it's like trying to work out why someone is gay. You know, there used to be so much behind like always some kind of hormonal thing like what happens in the womb, what happens in your upbringing, we finally got to a point where we're like, let's stop trying to explain why we are sometimes the way we are sexually speaking and work out how we work with that in society. So if you're watching a lot of porn and you're finding that it is influencing your personal life, saving you coming back to your partner and you

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got all these crazy demands about what you want to be doing, then we would have to have a look at how you can have a healthy relationship with porn and not have it negatively impact your relationship but also discovering what it is that might be giving you ideas that you want to come back to your partner and say, hey, I want to give that a go. Not as to why you're particularly attracted to that thing or where that comes from. It's more about how we can work with it in your everyday life. What if porn becomes a problem and you can identify is the problem like too much or it's you not stimulated by a partner? It's probably you know, if you have but that takes a lot to identify that in yourself. I don't think many people I don't think a lot of people would be that tuned in necessarily it you know, something like a porn addiction or a problem with porn. I don't always like the term addiction. I like the term problematic behaviours because addiction, we think of drugs and alcohol and I like to take sex and porn out of that category. But what could be a problem for you could be a different level.

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For me, what could be normal for me as a problem for you? So it really comes down to what? Pretty much porn you're looking at what you're doing and how it's affecting your own personal life. So it becomes this really difficult point that someone could be consuming a lot of porn and you know what, they can still go home to their partner, they're having great sex, they might be watching porn together, it's really not playing such a big role for them. You may get somebody that looks at just a little bit of porn, but yet all of a sudden then puts the expectation on their partner that they should be doing what's going on in that porn scene, which is not realistic. And this is the hardest thing I have hidden on many porn sets. The tricks that go on behind the scenes are quite amazing, right, it is sexual acrobatics. It is days and days of preparation, like an anal scene. I mean, that kind of goes up in terms of pay rank because there is so much prep that goes involved in

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a diet

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Enemies is but plugs is also the things. So if you were to look at some crazy anal scene and think that women just supposed to just pop it in like that, which is one of the problems that this overuse of overuse of porn in society and younger generations looking at porn, you're not knowing what goes on behind the scenes, you're not knowing all this word. And that's where we're finding these really unhealthy relationship with porn. But is it porns fault? Or is it the fact that we have this lack of adequate sex education at the right age, so that we're able to look at that material and go, Hmm, that's interesting. And that's exciting. But I know that's not how it's done. Or, you know, I studied that module on porn when I was in high school. And I know that there is so much behind the scenes, I can appreciate it for what it is, which is sexy entertainment, but I know that if I want to explore I know with my partner, we've got to talk about it and we need to maybe prepare a bit more

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and engaging for more pretty broad.

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What you're saying that doesn't actually happen, right? The module in the high school of porn is not a high school. I mean, they are doing that I just I just got approached recently by somebody and it kind of really ignited in me that maybe I need to be going into these high schools as somebody who not only can communicate about the stuff that has been on polling set, so there are a lot of organisations out there trying to educate youth around porn. What my concern is, though is is and how it's done. I haven't been in every high school so I haven't seen every programme so I can't blanketly say it is effective or it's not, but I do know some educators that are putting programmes together and going to schools and I worry about teenagers respecting them and thinking what they know is real, because at the end of the day, I remember being, you know, 15 1617 year old Mickey and I remember looking at people and be like, Well, why would I take sex advice from you? You don't look like you've had good sex in the last 10 years. Teenagers can be really hot. Oh yeah, last

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You quit porn, like

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when you quit acting and

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just couldn't stay hot?

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No, I stopped watching porn all together. And when you stop something, it seems like it's you've stopped it because there's a problem that usually is why people stop shooting like I've had enough I've done to anyone coming into work.

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No, I just had growing up as a young man watching porn from probably 12 discovering on the internet, like and then just never thought much about not doing it or not watching it when I felt like it hadn't identified as a problem. But I took a year off and I was like, it took a year off. I haven't gone full time.

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I wanted to see what it was like to not set not succumb to the the desire to watch something that's going to stimulate me and get it externally in. So I didn't take any

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Drugs, you know, so I was like a year of sort of meditating a lot, and trying to not look for external to change my internal state. And I was initially thinking, what do you think about people who stopping porn, like just coming to a guy? Or do you think it's healthy to quit something called? Depends on your motivation. I mean, you know, what you're saying is with stopping these external factors. You know, I recently did something last year where the idea was that we were to sit with uncomfortable emotions. And we were banned from sex, porn, alcohol, even exercising, because these are all things that we do that when we're uncomfortable, we kind of want to distract ourselves. So if you're stopping porn in that context, then it might be a very interesting journey more mentally to do with what you're dealing with and how you're processing things. Some people might find that, you know, porn, just not exciting anymore for them, so they're going to have a break or it's affecting their relationship. Like I personally struggled to watch porn these days, but

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For a very different reason. Sorry.

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I've investigated the porn industry so much that if I look at various porn, you know, saying so it's like, oh, I know her, I know you. And it becomes really weird because then I know that it's fake because I know them. And I know the difference between porn them and real them. So I look at it or because I've been on so many sets as well. I can look at and go, I know that that's a fake. I know that she's just had a makeup touched up. I know that that's not real. So it kind of spoils it for me, which is I suppose the downside to the job that I've kind of really ruined the excitement of watching porn by investigating what goes on behind the scenes. Is that like the Hollywood version is there like the more grassroots level of say user generated porn? It definitely is like now you've got things like my free cams, and they completely dominating that industry where, you know, you can log online and you can be talking to somebody and you can pay them very

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Things to do all sorts of different acts. And it's that idea that I think we actually crave a connection. And that's where we're kind of moving towards within, you know, we are with whether you want to call that porn or not. But when it comes to the sexual gratification, we are looking at a way to connect with something or someone the same thing with virtual reality porn. We want to feel like where they are. So what's interesting about all of that is it goes to tell you about what turns us on. Sometimes I think it's this, people assume it's that crazy, sexy, kinky, all those kind of things. But even within that, we want to connect with something we want to connect with somebody. It doesn't have to be a romantic connection. But when we can get that feeling of intimacy and connection that turns us on, so why can't we all just go? Hmm, we can have that whether it's a one night stand, whether it's a fling, whether it's in a relationship, but maybe we need it to be sexually satisfied. George, we've got you on Instagram. If anyone has any questions in the

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Live Stream please feel free to Yeah. Is there anything George so far? Nothing so far? Really? You meant to make it up if that's the case?

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Good. It did say no porn for 97 No, no for 90 like

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Mr. 97 that's maybe

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only 97 close but he's a towel was 97 which is way better than us and so we gave him a very smooth the the nickname we've talked with Mr. Nice Evan about his sex life lack of sex life. He's a 20 year old virgin.

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No shade thrown. It just is what it is. And it's interesting because we've looked into that thought that I think some people have looked at someone who is choosing to have sex later in life is could be is like, really like a negative like I think some people throw that but or project that onto a project, questioning sexuality and all that sort of thing you gave, you know, had sex yet. So it's interesting. This is research that's come out in the last

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Kind of six months it was born costs a lot around the ABC that these generation of teenagers are having less sex than they parents generation sex recession. Yeah. So you know, and everyone's kind of trying to speculate why that is is it feel you know, is it because we're talking about STI is is it the me to air and everyone's kind of too scared to hit on each other actually think as well that we're exploring a sexuality and a lot more healthier way. So if you don't want to have sex and you don't feel like you have to conform to losing your virginity as soon as the legal age hits, then we have more acceptance for that people are exploring how they want to live their lives sexually. That's more up to them then buckling to pee pressure. And I think that's actually a positive because I'm at the being at school and it was kind of that 14 1516 age, where you know, you had to be kissing a boy then you had to be getting fingered and giving blowjobs and, you know, it was like this wearing this badge of honour

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And once everyone started doing it, you kind of had to do it as well. The thing good, bad.

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Yeah, it was like a pain that we put on.

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It was like that it was good. We were conforming and I think the stage we're in, we're empowering this next generation to explore what they want and what works for them, instead of being pushed, specially when it comes to sexually speaking into doing things that they may be, should be doing. And I think that's healthy. You know, I think the ideally it comes down to what innately you want and you feel comfortable with, and we are living in an over sexualized society. And, you know, a byproduct of that is that we're all feeling like we have to be sexual, especially women. You know, women now look like porn stars and Kardashians from a young age. And it's so sexualized and even for a sexologist to say that like it scares me sometimes when I see younger girls because I think, Oh my god, you're never gonna look back at the photos that we now look back on and go What the hell was I wearing?

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Everybody from you know, 30 onwards can look back to their teenage years and goes, Oh my god, I look so dorky or what were they wearing? All now? Sexual? Like

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18 to 20 you know, but the the the irony about that is that the sexy look these days is not even conducive to good sex. So you think about what we idolise as sexy for a woman had long nails, fake tan, eyelash extensions, hair extensions all done up. Now think about what you would expect good sex to be. Yeah, I'm pretty impractical. That is exactly and someone pointed this out to me and said what we are worshipping as sexy is not even conducive to what we're trying to do. It's like

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you gotta have clip extensions. They can take them off and then get dirty. But this is a problem is that even porn stars and people think that these younger generation are looking like porn stars.

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not been to those porn conferences that big ballrooms and you've got all these different stands of all the different production companies, maybe you got sugar production.

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We're gonna get into porn, you see, you see every different person represented in terms of diversity. You know, even guys, girls body types, ethnicity, tattoos, not tattoos, flat chested implants, you know, there is so much diversity that is actually represented important, and I can jump online and I could find a women who I feel I can identify with. But when we have a look at society in general, and there's over sexualized pressure that teenagers and young women are under specially, they look like what porn stars used to look like, you know, the Jesse Jamison era where they were all that kind of plumped up and fake and plastic and looking really, you know, like they've been in the makeup chair for five hours. Yeah. What some questions that say, Mr. 97, who's on his own journey, what questions can he

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Personally ask that doesn't intervene to society, society's norms are asking himself if he was to ask himself some questions around. So people are saying, are you doing this? Or what's happening? How How? How can we learn about ourselves and our sexuality, especially in the early stages and under? So if it's so much about questioning that being honest with yourself, you know, and actually staying true to that. And the hardest thing is, is that when someone says to you, are you gay, or like someone says, you want it, you just do it, not buckling to that. And that is the journeys that you kind of have to develop a bit of a thick skin so that when someone starts putting up like, you know, listen, I think you just got to go there, we'll just take you to a local massage parlour and you know, deal with it. You then need to digest those comments and go, how do I feel about that? Is that something that I want to take on board? Or is that a comment because that's how someone else feels about the sexuality. And that's that disconnection of being able to respect that everybody

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says certain things because it's coming from their own belief system. Now your belief system is different. And if it's different, you need to stay true to that. And honest to that. And that may get pushed and pulled sometimes because it might be a weak moment and somebody that you really trust or you respect is pushing you in a certain direction. And that's why you have to take those comments and think, is that who I am and what I really want? Or is this my insecurity getting the better of me, we all have this insecurity about conforming and not feeling rejected and not feeling out of the crowd. So if someone gets us at a weak moment, we potentially might buckle because you think I don't want to, I want to be the weed one, I want to be the odd one out, it's coming back and going well, what is it that I want and why do I want it and staying true to that, but also the difficult part is knowing that that might change. So you've got to be able to be flexible, but check in with yourself and go Okay, that's still what I want, or are we on a different path today, George, even if the

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There's another question I want you to ask one. Well, there's I have this friend

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there's a bit of support here for 97. Jasmine says, I think it's awesome that you're waiting. I do tonight like my experience for I had six way too young in my head. I don't think

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no one's emotionally ready to have sex especially at 15 or 16. It's like, and I think I doing but definitely think it affected me had a threesome for my first sexually inexperienced. Wow, I think it fucked with my head bad. And it wasn't like it was trying to mimic porn. I don't know. It was just something it was just the situation right and i i definitely think it 14 year old Josh cannot relate.

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I definitely think it really rattled my thoughts around that whole stuff. And I've only kind of started realising that later in life. I'm like, that's why I like I'm like, Fuck, man. It's It is great. If it's Yeah, you don't have

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Have to what you say you don't have to do it because everyone around you was doing it but always the guy in the middle of that pack. Fucking that is that is you know, like what you're saying that the generation that I grew up in he was all of that who fingering you know like it's Monday at school What did you do on the weekend? It's which? Yeah, I don't think that's that positive. So if there is a different approach in young people these days, I think it's for the better. And you have your whole life to have sex as well I wait, this is it feels like when you're a teenager, I know when I was a teenager, there was this rush to do it, you know, you had to do it. And when you think about, you know, mentally being ready to deal with the things that happen and the emotions that can come up and the connections and all of that no one was ready. Nobody knew what they were doing or how to digest any of that. And you can now as an adult, like you've got so much time to be bonking your brains out. You know, it's not something that you have to rush into for the sake of doing it.

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I mean, a lot of people regret their first time, and jury's out for me whether first time should be, you know, roses and candles and all of that. But you should at least feel like you're in a situation where you're trusted and there's respect and that you've got a connection with someone that you can work your way through it. And if something arises or you feel uncomfortable, that there is that level of communication that you could say, you know what, I need to stop, I'm not feeling so good or say a condom breaks or you haven't been completely prepared with all of that. That's what's important, rather than putting this expectation that it's going to be this ultimate romantic experience, because sex is not always romantic. We're bad alcohol was alcohol involved in your first time here and

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not not like it like I was aware

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of it like was it?

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My Way came I was gonna have sex tonight and sort of Yeah, that was that was the but then I think that the problem I found was, most of

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sexual experiences moving forward involved alcohol. And so then

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having sex off alcohol is a different experience. And so, yeah, I mean, that's where it's like, the combination of alcohol and being young and having sex is like it's horrible. I think well, it's I

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think there's so much that's like habits that are intertwined and make jack post who's got a band called release the sounds he has this song that he did, which was like

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about the Pavlovian is that the Pavlovian dog with the dog he talks about his mom's Carly's was like the Pavlovian effect cuz she was it was when I'm all alone. I get an automatic boner. Like when his mom leaves to go out to the shops or whatever you try to get a boner because he knows that he can have a wink. And so it feels like that habit. A story about

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someone else about Pavlov's dog.

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From now on

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to the car case in the direction.

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So, the habits are obviously ply pot. Yeah. But also to when you look at alcohol and sex, you know, coming back to this idea that we all have these sexual thoughts and ideas that we're maybe not okay with. We haven't voice them we haven't communicated. You know, a lot of that goes through our head when we're trying to have sex with somebody. And there's all these questions and these pressures and these expectations so if you're used to drinking and having sex, alcohol lowers your inhibitions and lets you release it lets you let go a bit. You're not so much in your head thinking Is this normal? Should I be saying this? Should I be doing this? So once that's a learned response that I get really nervous but never happy to drink, I can just let go and and enjoy this. Then that's where that really cements in and you do find there are a lot of people out there who if they are suffering from some kind of anxiety or they're nervous about it, and they find that alcohol helps. Then they get into that habit of knowing that okay, I should have

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have a few drinks before especially in the casual scene, like I have a few drinks before I go out and try find someone to hook up with. And then it becomes a recipe for disaster because we all know what happens after a few drinks as well, safer sex goes out the window, consent goes out the window. You know, it's a big issue these days, because once you start not being completely in your mind, then you have to question what decisions you're making at that point. That's a slippery slope. what's the what's the first step if someone relates to that? And they're like, I have to be on the winds or whatever, before having sex. What's the first step? Do you think? Well, I think the first step is actually acknowledging I that's the biggest thing is you can't shift unless you actually acknowledge what you're doing is not right. And you might need to take some time to look into that and go, Okay, let's think about how this has been working for me. You know, let's have a look at some of the situations that I've been in. You know, did I practice unsafe sex did I find I was in a situation in the morning where I had a lot of regrets because that was

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Right, but I was so drunk, I wasn't able to make that decision. Because once you're able to see how it has been maybe playing havoc in your life or being a disservice to you, then you can start to connect with what do I do about it? And that might mean, okay, I'm going to give the whole casual sex thing, maybe a bit of a break, because that's leading me to this temptation to drink because I get really anxious, maybe I need to talk to someone get to know someone a bit better and go out on a date or have a casual hookup and not drink. So, you know, first of all, you've got to find out what role there has been playing and how it has been impacting you. Because just trying to flick a switch and change it is not going to actually make a difference. I remember when I was probably 1819 when I started driving.

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There was a shitload of ads around nasal spray technology. Oh yeah. Which was some thing you'd spray you know. And you'd last longer in bed and it was really like playing in the emotional heartstrings of men. I think like

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It's like you and the last,

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you know, 10 seconds or whatever it was. That was different that I definitely went really hard for a while. And I remember feeling like, fuck is that man like, you start doubting want,

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like something that makes you feel vulnerable and then marketing around the anxieties that men might have those like, which is I mean, that's advertising in general. Yeah. Especially when it comes to this idea of premature ejaculation. I think it's really complex because as human beings we were designed well you were designed I don't ejaculate and run. I mean, I can't ejaculate.

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When you look at how we would design, right?

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Yeah, men would have to ejaculate quite quickly, right? And then golf and make sure no one was stealing their herd and protect, you know, protect everyone and it wasn't like they had hours and hours on end to roll around the highlight we do these days. So this whole notion

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lasting longer. Where did that all come into play? You know, was it porn? I mean, you have to really question when there is this drive to last longer in the bedroom. If you were to ask a lot of heterosexual women about men lasting longer? Absolutely not. A lot of women it would be if it was a matter of Okay, would you prefer more foreplay and hitting the right spots? or your partner lasting longer in the bedroom? There's women out there, chime in. I bet you'd find a lot of women. I think you find a lot of women that say, you know, okay, my last like it to last a bit longer. But you know, I really want some more foreplay, and I really want some more oral sex and I really want to use a sex toy. It's not the biggest thing for me to have my partner lasting that 17 minutes, you know, at a time. So, you know, where do we get off putting this pressure on men that you got to act like porn stars because porn stars didn't even last that long either. It's start stop. You know, they've got all those tricks.

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If you lost a lot

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And you go harder and faster is it necessarily going to be better sex? Yeah, it's also I guess with the porn culture as a as a young person you're trying to like Come quick it like the whole thing is I can get it done until someone's knowing nothing you

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didn't she came on? Yeah.

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Yeah, that's why the show is over like this is the problem we having a long show. Well think about the kids nowadays with parents with the reusable bags the wallet like forgetting the green bags.

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You know, like we never had that didn't have to worry about back so I can imagine. That's it. That's a big concern. But actually on the on the shower thing that reminds me of the squeegee. Oh, yeah, Episode 14 famous, quite infamous. Where we hearings we did a

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radical honesty episode. Yeah, early days where we just brought something to the table was being fairly honest. And so this we got this squeegees man, this was this one

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As Mr. 97 on it.

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Episode 14, what we spoke about was, you know how you're saying about the education in schools.

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An older lady who was my sex ed teacher, I should have been in her 70s. She said to us that about the male G spot. And so I went home as a 14 year old and try to find it with my shower squeegee. I got

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this into size now.

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And so it's been really sitting with me

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Ruffin now because it was like you had the lubrication of the shower gel, and

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we got it yesterday.

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And so, anyway, I didn't want them then I discovered him. I don't want to be that guy. I

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swear to god

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yeah like I just it felt like it was when you only needed don't

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really

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know if you get a squeegee up you're off yeah as long as you're being safe and that was the whole thing is I was like well I had held and held it is like a little bit of a like I can't believe I did that was embarrassing and so that's what the radical honesty of Episode 14 was like

33:26
doing weird shit. Like my brother was pissed about the squeegees I can use that thing for what it's made for.

33:35
Better.

33:38
Definitely venture, but every time Tommy, it feels like he's like at an air b&b or any way he sees a squeegee.

33:45
What do you reckon?

33:49
To be cleared the one that we had was very minimal. And it hadn't.

33:54
It was just had no wedges it was just and it sort of it was almost

33:59
I commend you as a kid.

34:00
Because Good on you for realising that the squeegee right. So that is not going to keep going. Because the biggest problem is with inserting things up the anus is not having a fluid base or handle that it can continue to go in. And that's a massive problem. And this is why, you know, when you talk about sex education, if you would have taken an object, taking the squeegee bit out, you could have got into big trouble. Yeah, get caught. Well not get caught, but that couldn't get stuck in and then what happens is people try, go in and get it, pushing it up. And there is kind of more of a suction thing. Now. You think of the bow as opposed to the vaginal canal, you go to a cervix, the vaginal canal that the opening is like, super tiny, so nothing's getting in this. So if you do find you get something stuck. You know what, it's going to be able to come out. Right, you might need to go to a doctor if it's something really small, but you'll be able to retrieve it. If you have something that goes through the back passage and Kate was going in. They may actually have to take it out through like keyhole surgery. So they actually have to they can't go into the

35:00
They may have to take out and if it's also down and this is becomes a real interesting medical problem. If it damages the bow, I've known of cases where they actually have to give someone a stoma bag, the battle to heal and retrieve whatever it is through the stomach. So, you know, it comes back to this idea of why can't we have better sex education so people don't find themselves in that mess. Yeah, why can't we? Why can't we speak to young? Cuz I don't remember. Why can't we be in that mess?

35:27
Why? Why isn't it spike? Why is it so? subject? Why is it still taboo all these years because we still have a society that is influenced heavily by religion. You know, it sex is always going to be taboo, no matter where we are. We never going to not have sex for you to be subject. Sex was something that we were controlled with fear. Don't do it, you'll die. Don't do it. You know, this will happen. You know, you think about over the years how many negative messages have been instilled in us about human sexuality?

36:00
We still carry that around in certain areas of society, we're still taught that it's a private subject, you don't talk about it, you know, all these things. And now we have this generation that is thirsty for the education. They're putting up their hand, and we want to know this stuff. We want to explore our sexuality, but there are still these massive hurdles to overcome, because who's actually teaching them this? You know, there are a lot of teachers that don't feel fully equipped, and they feel really uncomfortable teaching teenagers and kids about sex, because maybe they're given a syllabus, maybe they're given a bits and pieces, and they just don't feel like this is their area of expertise. I think you also have the problem of whose responsibility is it? Is it schools or is it parents, and that's a debate that's continuing going on, who is actually responsible for giving the right sex education to kids, because then you have a look at the school syllabus and you have a look at all the things that they're trying to fit in into one week. Right now, sex education is important, but isn't more important than teaching kids about finances these days, you know, I we should school someone

37:00
Went to sat me down and taught me about bank accounts and interest rates. And when I get older what I might have to do to get a loan and all these kind of things, which I think, you know, they are saying to do more in schools, you're trying to get all these extra tax returns Exactly.

37:16
Squeeze your tax returns. This is the men wearing the syllabus to we put adequate sex education who's responsible for it? And it gets shelved. It does. And if you come if you're at a school that is backed by religion, then you're also contending with those religious beliefs.

37:37
Thank you, George. What do people say I feel like people are saying stuff. squeegee tips just said something that as a former teacher, I used to have young girls watching porn as instruction, which is just so unrealistic. Yeah. She also said nothing weird about doing weird shit, Josh. Thanks, Tiff. Thanks for the support. Nice, yeah. For that for that little note on

38:00
Nothing. Porn should not be an instructional. DVD. It's all online. You know, it's an instructional movie. And this is the problem is that we actually need to be educating teens around the intent of porn. So porn is like watching a Hollywood movie, right? But it's sexy entertainment. So it's entertaining, but it's also there to turn us on. In no way shape or form. Should you be learning how to drive a car from watching the Fast and the Furious. So then why is it that we think that we should be having sex like porn stars? And I think part of the problem is, is that most of us know that we can have sex. So we look at those scenes that are going on and think all I can do that because it's human beings having sex, but we still need to incorporate this element of there's a lot of trips, tricks, and there's a lot of things that are going on behind the scenes. And it's not, I mean, it's real, but it's not real. If we're not able to teach teens and kids that concept early on, people are curious about porn. Most people watch porn.

39:00
In the beginning I mean not boys but you know a lot of people watch porn the beginning because they're curious they want to see what sex looks like. I mean I remember being so fascinated like you grow up watching those you know you get a PG film and you had like a bit of a sexy anything I said like like, like what how does it all work? SBS was good for that. Oh, yeah. Or anything that's got a caption on it. Yeah, I'm fluent in French.

39:21
You read you actually paid attention. That's the thing is people are drawn to it because like they want to see what it's about. And they go, Oh, this feels exciting. I feel turned on. But they think that that's what sex is. Have you listened to Jon Ronson? butterfly effect?

39:37
Little bit. Yeah, you go into the porn industry, looking down the effects of porn. The porn negative. That one? Definitely. That's the skew. And so how much? How much do you feel there is? I mean, it's, I guess it's the narrative you're looking to go down that one paints porn instead of this negative light of porn stars in the film.

40:00
Has on the movies, movies negative and you've got movies that are like Hollywood movies are really bad and like, doing negative stuff, but then there's like, there's porn companies that are specifically doing like safe. consensual, what is this some porn companies, I think it's wicked or vivid. One of them always uses condoms. There's a lot of porn companies where the female porn stars actually have shares in the company. They're responsible for also what they're doing. They have a say, in who they're having sex with what scenes that they're doing. There's a lot of that empowerment that goes on. And this is the problem with the porn industry in general is I kind of feel like it needs to be divided up into sectors. Because at the top of the range, you've got these huge companies that are empowering their actors, they're keeping them safe. You know, everyone's on board. They're consensual, they're putting up their hand when there's something that they don't like. They're looking at the type of content that they're producing, but these days, thanks to the internet and iPhones, everyone can be a pornographer. So that's not the entire

41:00
industry and the is a negative side to the industry. But you know, once again going back to that debate of is it always the fault of porn? Or is it the problem that we don't have the support and education on how we consume porn in our life? And and this is this problem is it? Is it the most negative thing in the world? Or is it because we haven't been able to balance this relationship with us and work out how we counterbalance those negative sides, they will always be negative to something. I mean, I look at a lot of Hollywood films, and the ones with lots of violence, especially in a country like America where you can get a gun, you know, you get these movies where someone goes and might be killing 2030 people during the whole film. And there's not one consequence to that and that might be the good guy, you know, but still, he's busting into a building and all that he's breaking people's necks and he's talking about john wick, john wick my favourite movie more than 20.

41:57
There's just no consequence to that.

42:00
You know, I think about kids emulating and looking up to those actors as stars and looking what those characters are doing in movies. And yet people see porn as just as the most evil thing that we have in society. And that really alarms me because I can explain porn to a teenager or a child that has accidentally come across it to be able to put into context. I can't explain that. Like if someone said to me, why is it that there's this guy that goes along and kills everyone in a film? Because it's entertainment? Doesn't make sense to me. What about sex tutorials? If you think about like YouTube

42:40
really well, you have to find a name for you because I came across him on a press release. It's not obviously for kids and teenagers, but he's doing a lot of content for couples, men, women, but he's actually some of them. He's fully clothed. Some of them he's actually like having sex but he goes through and show

43:00
like different positions and different things that feel good and I think you thank god someone's actually doing it in a really kind of classy way. It's not tacky. He seems to be quite an educated guy knows his stuff. That's more of the content we actually need. Yeah, it because and then you learn from that content and it is more clinical like it isn't made to turn turn you on of course, you're going to find it exciting because maybe there's someone having sex, but it is the kind of video that you look at and go. Okay, maybe I'll try that. Maybe that's how I make her ejaculate or, you know, there's all these different techniques that he's focusing on, and then go and watch porn to turn you on. Don't go and watch porn and go oh, that's how I should make someone ejaculate. Because in a lot of those scenes, a woman has actually holding water inside of her because they want that. That flashing on Don't ruin it for me.

43:49
That's what happens and they want the they want the visual effects. What about if someone's listening to this and they're thinking there's something on my mind that I haven't told my partner like something or

44:00
It's a fantasy or something around there is the advice, to be honest and tell your partner what you're thinking or what have you. And how do you approach these? I think it depends your intent. And if it's just a fantasy, and you don't want to act on it, then you have to consider that if you voice that to your partner, they going to think that it's something that you want to try. Right? So it's not to say that you shouldn't share your fantasies necessarily, but you have to think about potential consequences to these.

44:30
Let's take for example, a man who identifies as heterosexual but it's watching gay porn, right? It's something to do because you're not gay, but you're like, Oh, I get turned on by this because I wouldn't do it. If you were then to tell your partner that would your partner I think my partner I think my boyfriend's gay, this is the thing.

44:50
It is beating a lot of people admitting it to that very reason. I mean, girls, you know, heterosexual girls always like okay, porns hot. Yeah, but we're not in a position

45:00
where someone's going to think that we're going to turn around and be a gay men. Because when a woman and you know, that's okay, but as soon as a man who identifies as being heterosexual has any form of attraction to another man or just touches them, or all of a sudden boom, we just want to typecast you as being gay is that that's a bad thing. So, you know, that's just an example of you. If you were, you know, say you had a partner that was quite, maybe close minded, bit more conservative, how are they going to feel if you say that, right, but maybe you're having these fantasies that you might feel like you're bisexual. Now, that's something you should talk to your partner about. But obviously, you've always got to think about the implications to that that's going to open up a can of worms, because is your partner going to think that you need to be with someone else you need to be bringing someone else into the bedroom. So I think it's important to talk about all these things that you've always got to just step ahead a little moment. Think about your partner. Think about how they're gonna react to what you're telling them and why you're doing

46:00
Telling them if you're telling them something because you want to incorporate that into your sex life, or you want to explore it together, fine, if you're telling them something just because you want to voices, but it may have consequences for them. That's when you have to question why you feel the need to say that thing to them. What about honesty? Because one of the things that Tommy's been working at a lot is around like his past version of himself and being constantly honest and communicating those things. Do you think that partners need to know everything about your sexual history? No. I mean, I'm, I'm a different breed of person because of what I do for a living. I have no problem talking about sex. I have no problem talking about my sex life. Now, one of the most confronting things in my relationship early on is that my partner didn't want to know everything and I was like, what she wanted everything that I've been up to, but very different for me because I'm so used to talking about it and not everybody wants to know

47:00
What you've done in your past, so you actually need to get permission from your partner, whether it's something that they want to talk about with you. And there's nothing wrong for if somebody doesn't want to know every single person that you had sex with in every sexual experience that you've had, you think you owe it to them, if they do want to know, if they do want to know, and you also feel comfortable, then talk about it. But if you don't feel comfortable, then you don't have to talk about it. This is, you know, in a way, this is also consent, because both people need to be on the same page and comfortable with that information. I mean, I think the biggest problem is asking how many people you've had sex with? We tend to want to define people with sexuality. If you're number, say, you're having this conversation with your partner, saying a number is really low. Right, which is fine. You might be having a lot of sex with those people or you just might not have felt comfortable at that point in your life exploring with your sexuality, and maybe your partner perceives you will say bring the rain wrong. Oh, no, no

48:00
Something What's going on here? So your numbers really high, right? And we don't know where each other's boundaries are, especially when it's new, you don't know how someone's gonna react. So you got a really high number, and you tell that to your partner, and they go, Oh my god, am I getting myself into? Or should I gotta go in and give me STI test, you know, all these negative things that come to mind with someone that has a lot of sex. So I don't always love the idea of keeping a number per se. But I think it's enjoyable sometimes to be able to talk about past sexual experiences, what you've liked, you know, I had this experience. I really liked doing that, or I had this horrible sexual experience. And, you know, this happened and it just made me feel horrible about myself. And that's a way to also introduce boundaries by being able to say, I know I don't like this, because I did it once. And it worked out really badly for me. So that when you come to that boundary conversation, instead of someone just thinking, Oh, you haven't done it properly, so you don't know if you enjoy it or not, you're actually able to connect with that boundary with a story to be able to say, I had this experience with the pond.

49:00
Maybe it was a 377.

49:05
With the numbers Oh, the

49:10
interesting thing with keeping count of numbers, it's like what is sex? Yeah, I mean that that's the funniest thing about watching but they weren't involved.

49:20
This is the problem is we actually can't even define what sex is. So when we're talking about these subjects, it just pose out to be so much bigger than anything. Because if you are having oral sex, and that's how you define what sex is, but then someone else to find sex as penetration, should penetration hold more importance than oral sex just because there's the possibility of procreation because that thing is a procreation focus society, that its penis and vagina, which is not how we are not how a lot of us have sex. So why should we wait that particular sexual act

50:00
Being more important than somebody who enjoys oral sex, anal sex fingering? Is that the religious part of the equation potentially Yeah, because there's this chance of getting pregnant now, so many of us are having sex not to get pregnant that way. But we are very much a penetration focused society that sees a penis and a vagina as the ultimate act. But why?

50:25
It's real weird isn't sex like when you think about

50:29
penetration? Focus. I can't remember who said say penetration, good fun, didn't feel good for anybody. And then over the age of six didn't feel good for anybody. It doesn't feel good for a lot of people. A lot of people But imagine if you just took out anything any emotional change in your state? How weird the action was. I like animals. That's just we

50:52
know, so. Dolphins, but no bows would have been ibos a second IPX

50:59
no Batman

51:00
ibos because of this interesting sexual fantasy, they've they studied bonobos with human sexuality, because apparently we're very linked. Like we're very similar to them and DNA.

51:09
Dolphins, there's a few other species that have sex for pleasure, but most have sex for procreation. So really, it's about maybe the female produces heat and puts out the signal and the mailman does his job. And that's eat. I don't necessarily think it feels good, because they're not having sex for pleasure. But then you get other species where they're having sex, not just when they're in heat, because it feels good. So we can have sex and it feels good. We don't necessarily have to get pregnant or even the different ways that we experience sexual pleasure don't even result in a pregnancy. So we need to be moving away from that penetration focused model because it's not how so many of us have sex and experience pleasure. So have you heard about the dolphin dude, by the way, for

52:00
Had the dolphin dude on his own. He ended up taking like they ended up taking that whole podcast. I had a relationship with a dolphin.

52:11
I said Vclt my flat out, but he was in a loving relationship. If you ask him based on what he is a really interesting topic, and I've spoken about it too much publicly on

52:23
it when I was studying sexology there was this case in America and not so long before I was there, where this man had died from having sex with a horse. And the clip was up was human, a guy, they'd gone into this stable. The other guy had set it up was filming him, and the guy died soon after. And I remember obviously being at a school that studies will teach us sex. It's a little bit more different, open minded and liberal. So I remember asking one of the lecturers How would he have died? He said, Well, there's two ways either because if you

53:00
Have you seen a horses penis? Yes.

53:04
I remember before I find where I think there was a clip of

53:08
a woman having intercourse with a horse that was like in the school grounds was very popular. And then she mungus those things and they're very and the horses are very, right. They're muscular. They're very strong. So he said,

53:21
Oh, it's human, and it's an arm with muscles attached to it. I just assumed he would have been trampled on noise. So he died from penetration. And either ways that that could have happened was that his organs were literally pushed straight in. Or you can get like a Nicolae poisoning in your system from all of that. Now, this guy, I was doing some research about it just as interested. He was a dad, right? He's he dies like it's so sad. One of the problems is is that we don't talk about these subjects now I later found out is that most beasty ality porn and for some reason it came from Spain and I found this out because they we have

54:00
This school, they actually tranquil live on tranquillise. But they they give the animals especially if it's a horse, something to make it a bit more dosa because if you get the wrong end of the horse and you buckle you or something like that it's quite dangerous. So, you know, there's an interesting thing would be stealing around consent because animals can't give consent. So therefore, is that sexual act, okay? But just in general, we actually should be having more open conversations around safety. Because if you saw something to do with the horse, and you want to give that a go, can be very dangerous and you can lose your life and we can laugh about it, but we go Oh, that's that's really sad. So why are we not having more discussions around? I know it's a very philosophical thing about can you fall in love with an animal but there's a lot of cases out there of people that do so. Do we say that that's wrong? For someone who was like I had enough I want to get into it you went into

54:59
that brings up now

55:00
It does bring up some issues definitely.

55:04
happening on Instagram I feel like 97 Smart cross it potentially.

55:09
Tip says animal cruelty full stop. Yeah, I'll just say I found the dolphin book yet. So it's Dolly the dolphin. Dolphin. The the bloke who fell in love with it said Dolly Dolly the dolphin announced her intentions to me by positioning herself so I was rubbing against her. Okay. And what the book called I don't know what the book is just the Daily Mail article.

55:33
Yes Like that one to me because George way earlier on.

55:39
time if I say the name

55:43
George is Red Hat instead of tell us what they said. Then we can tell you the consumer. But porn. I have the best sex with an connection with my husband. Yeah, who is it? That's just not great. That's great. Like you not everybody has to watch porn. I mean, like I said, I didn't watch porn anymore because I know the tricks but I

56:00
It's not something that you like going back to this idea of exploring your own sexuality and being true to yourself. If you don't like watching porn, don't watch porn. I think also it's like challenging whether it's just a habit you formed over the years with my last job and around the horse.

56:22
What about do you experience? I mean, we've talked a lot about pulling, but I think it plays a part in a lot of people's lives that you've probably thought about it or feeling it towards it.

56:32
people and their partners, keeping the fact that they watch porn from their partners, I think would be very high. Most couples, I feel like this borders into the conversation around infidelity.

56:45
I was watching Bad Moms that was on this week on TV and she there's that scene where Mila Kunis comes in and her husband's jerking off to the laptop and she's like, a huge where he messed up writing a report and it turns out that he's

57:00
Actually masturbating with this woman that he's been having this online affair with for 10 months. And you know, my partner and I were talking about like, an affair. I was like, well, it's deceitful. If you're having to hide something like that from your partner, then it's deceitful. And there's definitely, it could be cheating. You may know the one

57:21
with the woman, the Google Hangout.

57:24
Like that's a pretty clear case. No. Well, for some people, it wouldn't be on the other if it's if it's both sides, and they can see what could he see? Could she see each other sounds like a Skype call. But if you have a look at hiding porn usage, Well, isn't that being deceitful? You know what, you've got a question. Why do you have to hide it? And this is kind of the problem as well that when you have a look at the messages that are given to teenagers around porn, yeah, don't look at it. It's wrong. We've got all these different programmes and services, the blocker

58:00
Everything, right? We've really dropping in those messages that this is an evil. Okay. Now, at what point does anyone tap you on the shoulder and say, you can watch it now? It's okay. So a lot of people develop these stigma around porn and this belief that they have to hide it because as teenagers they probably have they've probably found a way to get around the net nannies and they probably found a way to, you know, go to a friend's place and look it up or hook up to someone's shy boys. That was a

58:31
shocking thing. I did it as a man, everyone who sat around and masturbate

58:39
sounds like a cover of

58:43
the game. But this idea that it's something to hide, it's because it stems from this belief that it's wrong. And never do you get to a point where anyone's actually saying it's okay and hey, you want to talk to your partner about it. Instead, you've got this instil idea of I have to hide it.

59:00
from them. Now, that's the same with the person on the other end, the person that you're hiding it from, they might have the same belief system that's been drummed into them as a teenager, the porn is wrong. So therefore, when they do find out that you're secretly watching porn, then they may react quite negatively, because they've been taught that it's a negative. And so you were talking before about, you've got to ask yourself, why are you telling your partner about x or y? So in regards to the sexual history staff or about kings? Is there a case in regards to the porn stuff around like, this is a personal like, this is an individual thing, and it doesn't involve my partner. There's a debate for both sides. But if you're hiding it, the question is also why you hiding it. I mean, somebody could say like, this is something I like doing on my own now might not be just this, you know, big word dump of like, Hey, I watch porn and this is a much I watch it. It might be that they come in and you're watching porn.

1:00:00
In your bed and they like Hey, what are you doing? Oh well, sometimes I like to watch porn and masturbate it for something I like to do not do it or

1:00:08
not

1:00:10
but if you're having to like wait do your partner's asleep and then you're creeping off into a spare room or you're quitting the study and locking the door then studies for

1:00:21
study something else, but why are you having to hide it? So it's finding that balance between well you have a right to some privacy in a relationship and masturbation and what feels good for you. But if you're going out of your way to hide it, then what are you ashamed of it you ashamed of the type of porn that you're watching? How much you know that might be masking a bit of a problem that you and yourself are ashamed of how much you're using porn or the type of porn that you're looking at.

1:00:50
That be that could the doing it and the bank knows naughty naughty.

1:00:57
It can be as well and that's this is the whole thing when it comes to normal.

1:01:00
realising sex is that if we were to normalise everything and take away the taboo element that controls our sexuality, there's a downside to that as well, because a lot of things would then not be exciting because they no longer taboo. All of a sudden, it takes the guy 10 minutes to come because he told his partners lost all interest.

1:01:19
It is fascinating, isn't it? I mean, that the idea of watching porn more openly, I've got a mate who would sort of just put it on a table like his wife and like, they've just got that sort of thing where he could just put it on, and it wouldn't be a problem. Do you think that there is a case for Do you think that that could potentially be porn or parodies? Yeah, I love porn parodies right? Because mainly for say, Elisa one.

1:01:48
love to see Chris Ellie, just write one. So it's the funniest thing in the porn world that they try and rip off everything right and these these, they must have great legal teams. There's some percentage of like where its inspiration, but a

1:02:00
not copying or parenting like you. The parodying law is great because you can get away with it completely the law say I think it was Lena, Lena Dunham. She tried to get the girls girl girls one pulled down that I've been given like snow white light. And the production value on these is actually quite clever as well. So john wick does have one can save

1:02:26
you

1:02:27
50 shades of grey one Isn't that great? Or two so obvious, isn't it? How do you make a porn parody? 50 Shades of Grey but Shrek they're awesome. Really? They probably they probably use a Shrek one. Yeah, I'm using your green prosthetic.

1:02:42
Bitch. The funniest thing is

1:02:48
who has a great prosthetic vagina?

1:02:52
Well, yeah, you were talking about that.

1:02:56
The rain it was bronze like it looked great.

1:03:00
He gave no context. I was quite. That was my, that was my agenda now.

1:03:14
for you every year at the avians, which is like the point like the Oscars of the porn world, there is an award category for porn parodies. And I just love like, I've been there a few times. And they've read out these names and I'm like million stitches because it's just, it's so funny. And they are meant to be a bit of fun, but they still porn. So I was thinking like, if you if you're a couple and you want to have a bit of fun with your point, you see, grab the porn parodies and put them on like a movie because, you know, it's not like something to emulate, but often it's quite entertaining, but you've still got the sex scenes. They used to be um, did you ever get into pirates? pirates. I know there was a there is a well, it's a point. It's a takeoff of Pirates of the Caribbean and I think Jesse Jesse Jamison

1:04:00
genotyping, Jenna Jamison, one of those names was in it. And it came with I remember this is

1:04:09
a champ, right? I was asked to review porn, like write a little thing about it. And this one came with two DVDs. And one side was like the movie and it's quite entertaining to with some porn star at some points as a great actors and some porn stars, a terrible actors. So it was like the sexy version of pirates. And then the other DVD was like the cut out hardcore scenes. So it was like, What a great way that if you wanted to introduce porn into relationship, you weren't sure if your partner was really down with it. You could watch like the first DVD. They're like hot scenes and they start kind of hooking up and start having sex. And it's that cutaway angle from afar so you can't see that. But you can see that

1:04:51
from the DVD, so then if they like it, and I am standing me on lap, well, I gotta try. You got the other DVD that really shows so we need

1:05:00
We got David a player.

1:05:02
Sorry they collectibles you still gotta get them can you get some funny names just for us to finish off? What so what movies because I'm already thinking about kickback movies I loved as a kid. That would be really like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Oh, that was

1:05:17
Dennis the Menace. Definitely.

1:05:20
What George What's your favourite movies? Or I remember there was one called

1:05:25
shaving Ryan's project

1:05:29
with these titles because daddy's like she brilliance right there. This is what I love about it is it? Could you imagine the meeting like everyone's around the table, right? And they come out with like, the latest list of like Netflix shows and, you know, movies, how can we make these into something sexual and opt out a word and put it into the percentage of parodies? It's created? Go on a 62nd. What about what about the what we're talking about? Yeah.

1:06:00
Girls being sexualized and looking like the Kardashians and I think there's probably a free will is free really looking at you looking at Instagram, Instagram,

1:06:11
like worse than porn, you can just specially.

1:06:15
The problem is Instagram is promoted as reality. Yeah, hundred percent porn is not promoted as reality. porn stars do not promote themselves as this is who I am in my everyday life. And that's why often they have a stage name. And there's a trend now there are a few porn stars that use their own name, but they do take on a bit of a character. Now no one in that world is going this is all real. They're like, this is entertainment. This is fake Instagram. Everyone's out there going, Oh yeah, this is what I always look like I wake up like this. And everything's edited and it's all about angles and you take about 50 photos to find the one with the right lighting and the right angles that makes you look a certain way and you're

1:06:53
saying that all my hair

1:06:57
can do you can do anything. What about revenge porn.

1:07:00
Well, it's illegal. Yeah, yeah. Feels like that about time. So things are becoming work creating content in general across our whole lives. More people are filming themselves in those situations, which obviously means the contents available. It is a really scary area to go in because it starts to become and I was researching this recently, revenge porn is actually considered a type of abuse because it's exactly what it is, you know, you're attacking somebody you're trying to, you know, take somebody's ruining their life, right? Whether you're ruining their life or not. I mean, these days I think if you've got a porn tape out there, it's not that someone's all you know, revenge porn tape. It's on the someone's not going to hire you or anything like that. But you are taking someone's emotional state and you are trying to shoot on it. My life associate. Yeah. Okay. You have a podcast. That's right. Yeah. And and it is considered a form of abuse. Someone is going out of their way to attack somebody. So they're depending on what's done and what country you're in there.

1:08:00
Now a lot of laws around it. I was recently in New Zealand. They've got a company over there called net safe, which is a bit different to us where you can call straight in and go hang on a second. Someone just posted this photo online of me and they will work with the various companies to work with you to get that taken down. In Australia. It's a little bit different that I think you have to there's a government department. gov safe, I think it's called or something along those lines. So, you know, we are creating more systems in place to protect people that when these images do pop up, there is a way to pull them down. It's not always easy. screenshotting instantly, like yeah, any tips on that stuff? Why do you think young people should be making only I think it's, listen, it's a common day form of courtship these days to send a sexy farter to send something naked. I think what you always have to understand that if you are going to be sending dick pics photos of yourself naked photo of yourself doing something sexual. You always have to think of

1:09:00
How would I feel if that was publicised? If that was out there publicly, if you're not okay with that, don't send it. But if you're okay with that, like there's a lot of people who don't really mind like maybe the sitting there with the legs open in it in something sexy in LA Yeah, I wouldn't be happy if it got sent around. But it wouldn't be the end of the world. Don't put it out there if you're not okay with the idea of other people seeing it. And that's the filter that you've got to have. Because how can you truly trust someone? I mean, even when you're just dating and in your relationship

1:09:32
as well.

1:09:34
What happens if cloud Yeah, what happens if someone takes you find find your laptop? You look at what about

1:09:41
I mean, the murky area of when people have been hacked and then it's online, and then the people like it almost being frowned upon. So if people are sending around a link, someone's fine that has been hacked, like a celebrity Jennifer Lawrence had her cloud hacked, but she

1:10:00
came out I think I'm just saying this is like

1:10:04
basically saying it's like you looking at it is adding to the negativity around this like how bad it is you're contributing you're as bad as the people who stole this shit by looking at it as one of one celebrity posted a nude photo because they were someone was basically threatening to release that hacked

1:10:26
the IQ here right and good like that's a kudos to them. I mean that's that really only works if you're taking notes based on the filter that one day it could potentially be made public. I don't know if most

1:10:38
Yeah, I think most people are doing that. I think just just make sure you look nice and

1:10:45
who's taking sort of sloppy if you're taking sloppy No.

1:10:51
Seriously some of the those photos I've been sending are having different social media accounts out there. They do come my way. Please don't send them a PayPal send me

1:11:00
Hi look at what I got some shock value

1:11:04
I think they get off on the idea of like, it's like the the modern version of flashing.

1:11:10
I've had a flash a once and I've got to tell the story because it's hilarious. I was in San Francisco, a pride festival and I had a girlfriend with me from Australia. I was studying over there at school. So part of our schools we always participated in pride as trying to find an outfit to kind of come up with you just put things together I had like fairy rings and all this stuff. I don't know why I had a harness on but I had bought a harness and I had found stuffer so like a flaccid penis. So if you maybe a trans woman and you're in the process of transitioning or you just want to feel more masculine, you can wear stuff it to feel like what it feels like you don't really do it. So it's it's inside.

1:11:52
See, it's like the harness I'd be well and then there's a thing to hold it in place and then it What are you wearing?

1:11:58
My dress

1:12:00
I was like lifting up and shaking, cool outfit. So there we are lined up for these polos. So I'm with my girlfriend one side, and then there was a line over there and I saw this guy out of the corner of my eye and he had a jacket on and I'd seen him do that to someone.

1:12:16
Okay, so he turns to me, he looks at me. I've been Sofie state. And I said to my girlfriend makes me do not react. I looked him in the eye, lift it up, I

1:12:31
was like, Oh my god, this is fantastic. Because what they want to do is they want to get the reaction out of you. And I always like you know what, you are not going to get the reaction. I mean, you got

1:12:44
to find this stuff like the wide flashing turn somebody on what is that part of the brain? What's going to boo, it's, you know, catching someone out, you know, it's that that thrill of doing something illegal as well. The problem is, is that it is illegal. So it's

1:13:00
A really tricky fantasy to have because depending on how you do it, when you do it, you could end up in a lot of trouble. Same things with voyeurism. You know, there are a lot of people who get off on this idea of watching people. But sometimes part of that thrill is watching someone who doesn't know that they're being watched. It's a very taboo, it's very exciting because you're on that line of doing something that's illegal. But the problem is, it's illegal. And it's also to, you know, impeding on someone's personal space. So this is a lot of the problems with some fantasies out there that there is a legal element to them. And we kind of have to work in with that, you know, but sometimes desire is so strong that it gets the better of someone they know that it's illegal, they know that it's the risk, but they just can't hold it any longer. What is your take on, you know, my apartment I look at and I can see other apartments I had lately and I do sort of like, I do look over. I never liked the curtain open and their banking

1:14:00
You can say them, then that's kind of an invitation to at least look. Do you think that that's the standard? Because I feel like I'm definitely

1:14:08
I'd spend maybe 10 seconds just scanning seeing what's going on. Like all the people across her i'd love the tennis. I was watching a lot of screening tenants. Don't ever turn around yourself. Yeah.

1:14:20
But you but what do you think about about that? Is that something that that you think we're curious as to what people get up to? Are you still live in an apartment block like that Ron in the middle of Kings Cross with a very small road between my block and the block across, and I saw all sorts of things and I loved it. It was so fascinating. And I had this one neighbour who just always used to pick up chicks all the time and he'd be you know, really going out and he would I ever want sitting watching TV and you turn the lights off or do

1:14:50
we actually started off a bit of a game because we had a very brief fling, which you should never do. And then undecided it probably wasn't a good idea to have a fling with my neighbour. So close. Hey,

1:15:00
Like that, so he wanted to get back at me. So he kept bringing these girls like back and he'd have the doors open. somebody's watching TV is

1:15:09
like, Oh, come on, say waving the brat that I was just got two of my male friends like, Can you just come over and like pretend to have a three way with

1:15:18
the blinds off? And we're like, you know, like, I'm not we didn't, we're all made. But

1:15:23
you didn't.

1:15:25
I didn't have a threesome with these two guys. I was just like, Can we all get naked, like look like we're about to and then pull the blinds down. And as I pulled the blinds

1:15:34
closed, I just I just don't like losing. So I was like, You know what, but the moral of story is like, it was so fascinating to sometimes see what other people were getting up to. And I think we're all curious by nature. And we are curious about, you know, the people in our lives and their sex lives. Like I've often walked around and I've met people and I mean, I suppose it's part of the job, hey, I wonder how you have sex or I wonder what your sex life is like. So as long as you're not impeding on someone's personal space that you've installed it

1:16:00
Cameras somewhere but if someone has left their blinds open and he happened to look in then a guy said well Maybe

1:16:12
it has something to say to it but I think they feel I mean I laid my blinds open all the time and my partner is always getting angry he's like yeah well

1:16:21
i'm i'm like so people can see you right now I can say someone said because he just walks around whereas I'm just like I get changed in the bathroom and I go Oh, those I

1:16:32
lived there long enough I did the chances are they have seen me naked once so really doesn't matter if they see him again. That was another promise go I remember hearing about like kids parents that were nudists. I'm a bit of a notice you are known. Yeah. I still to this day, like when I go home to my parents place. I mean, I don't walk around naked, but I will sleep in the nodded like sometimes run to the bathroom. I didn't

1:17:00
I've ever seen my brother naked. Not that I want to, but I'm just saying I'm the nudist. Like he's the prude, and I'm the nudist. And my mom knows that like it's, you know, that's fine. A mate was having a shower and was walking to his room didn't always he thought his housemate wasn't home and the housemate walked in, and my mate was at the top of the stairs slipped and fell down the stairs.

1:17:27
Like Could you imagine how you'd look at

1:17:34
anything guys before we go, the livestream finished but I found a few other parodies.

1:17:39
This is Star Trek, Big Bang Theory. Yeah, Latin and the anal princesses. Dirty Sex in the City. Star Wars The Last Temptation and the office an ex ex ex parody

1:17:52
that productive. Let's have a movie night.

1:17:56
I feel like

1:17:58
the office is at the power

1:18:00
On the English or the US version, let me just

1:18:06
say Steve corral fuck man lucky.

1:18:10
Is that fair? Sorry, has a six type? Which one? Both of them.

1:18:16
I take I don't have the sex tape but I have what's classified as the sex tapes. The Marilyn Monroe one. Oh yeah. Before she was Marilyn Monroe when she was Norma Jean and I don't know how CocaCola have never gotten their hands on this because it's called the apple apple and the coke I think it is and she's in her like it's in a brief and she's got this apple and she rolls around a boobs and she's got a can of coke and she like drinks it and dribbles over it. I got my hands on it. I don't know if it's legal or illegal so whoops, maybe I don't have

1:18:48
it how I go to bed. I got I got given a coffee and I just think wow, this would be so good advertising her Coca Cola.

1:18:55
I mean people like these things. Look at the Kardashian and look at

1:19:00
I boarded. I'll tell you a good story about the six type thing because I have met the Mr. Sex Tape. Right? So what happens is a celebrity someone releases the sex tape. Okay, so the Kim Kardashian one was a real one. This was not put out there. So it's coming out. Right. So then this guy who's the sex tape broker, he did dumb Pammi and Tommy Lee, Tommy Lee, Prince Harry,

1:19:28
the prince, the Prince Harry fighters as well. So if you find yourself in possession of a celebrity sex tape, you go to the sky and the sky brokers, all the deals, so he'll go back to the celebrity and go, okay, it's coming out. We can either manage this to your advantage, so I know that Kim Kardashian one another I think this is a secret, but there's a golden shower scene in that. Okay. Yeah, really? Yeah. So that's been cut out. So what you see of what's been out there is them brokering this deal. like okay, well it's gonna come out. So what can

1:20:00
We do to protect me as much as possible. Same with the Paris Hilton one. And that's kind of what they do. It's not necessarily I'm sure there's celebrities out there. But there really isn't extortion. It's like if your sex tape is going to come out and someone gives you the opportunity to either profit from it or alter it, so that something is hidden, a lot of people would take it because I think that we would be looking at a very different situation with the Kardashians, if she was paid on. Like if there was a what if there was a shower scene versus just this kind of sexy nickname for sure. It should be the golden Oh, no. Do you reckon the Kardashians would have had this success if she was the golden girl? I don't know. Donald Trump was into that, wasn't he? Yeah, allegedly. Allegedly allegedly coming after us.

1:20:46
I'd love I'll find that tape for you, sir. I'd love to watch that. Yeah, you know what it would just probably take off his spray tan

1:21:00
The Daily talk show if you've got any six questions, don't ask us.

1:21:08
Hi, the daily talk show.com is our email address. And are you doing a podcast? Can you talk about the new project? You can I don't have a release date yet, but I have finished a podcast called the connection. It's a lot of fun to record because it's old dating that I've got a lot of people contestants or data is I think we we refer to them. So that should be dropping very soon.

1:21:31
We'll have to come back on after the after. This the dead on the dating side of it. Yeah, great. That's the talk show. Have it going guys.