#558 – Jeremy Carne On Being In Love With The Process/
- December 26, 2019
Jeremy “Jez” Carne is a podcast host and the Digital Executive Producer for Hamish & Andy.
Jez has produced comedic work for over a decade, winning an ACRA in 2009 for Best Multimedia Execution on Hamish and Andy’s, Tall Ship Adventure.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Learnings from Hamish & Andy
– Loving the process
– Panic attacks
Jez on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jezcarne/?hl=en
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 558. Brother.
Welcome. You can clap
that energy. It's not normal, but that it feels normal
feels right doesn't it? That's kind of clapping. There is an appreciative clap.
I know I pray I think that there's a huge amount of confidence to be able to clap. Especially because sometimes in a group setting there might be like, I want to thank everyone Tommy and Jess for being like you should it's a good opportunity.
When someone when someone walks in the room, it's nice to just clap and just changes everything.
Definitely how I am well, I'm alright. Thanks. Yeah, I'm I'm cruising I'm slow. Slow.
Is that good? Is that good
or bad? Yeah, that's good. It's good.
Yeah, do you think if if you The other way you say it like this, like, Hey, guys, yeah.
I can probably pushing back on the whole busy thing, right. It's like, we always want to say we're doing something and everything's happening where it's like, also okay. Just like, be slow. Yeah. Like just be, you know, taking things in
Sure. What is it? What's the what was the opposite of
philosophy? consistent, not tournament, Brian, I've always wanted to do something. And at the end of last year, go straight into this pretty bad panic attack. And then I had to just realise that that was seated in being like, not feeling like I'm not good enough unless I'm contributing nothing. And so I stopped contributing things to light and tell my brain that I'm okay not to.
Yeah, so you and I first became friends would have been like, 2012. We're working at the same radio station. And then funnily enough, I think it was four years ago that we went around the city. It was like this time four years ago that we went around the city, filming a video around like how we can help how you could help people. Yeah,
what's that on YouTube and then you went into a CPR course. You making making making Yeah, good content contribution.
But I think that's the whole thing, right? I think jazz, jazz and I have always been on that path of wanting to self develop, wanting to create wanting to understand where
the next thing is. Let's take it back. How many years? When did you have? Maybe when you came to my personal training studio? Yeah, this is like before I even knew what live was new. We're doing live. This is a live show.
I knows no one's watching
xiety Wayne's World a kind of internet show. And I had no understanding of what was going on.
was really fun. And we couldn't do it because we wanted to do it from the personal training studio. But back then the internet like Wi Fi was so shit. And we couldn't run the cord long than our
God like HumanIK things that haven't been recorded because the cords not long enough.
I mean, you've been creating for a long time. So yeah, Yeah,
yeah, it's time to be slow.
It's like it's it's like not I don't feel like there's enough encouragement in, in culture in our culture today perpetuates mindfulness or like slowing down. I feel like at least I feel like I've always been in I've always been encouraged to do more. And more, more, more, more more. And then yeah, I think it's just a very, very, I found I found a very, very challenging to do little
was a safety mechanism, because I guess like, doing more means that you can pay rent. And so whenever we think of slow we think of not being able to pay rent not being able to honour our commitments. Yeah,
Yeah, Yeah, true. That's a definite contributing factor.
Was it something that you considered like, Did you just have to create a scenario where it's like, those things are off the table so you could create the level of safety? So you don't didn't need to find that moment of panic every month trying to make ends meet?
Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I feel like I'm in Lucky more work so I don't have to do worry about that. But um, but yeah so I feel very privileged to be in a position where I don't need I can I'm still doing work but it's not hectic amount of work yeah. Anyway but yeah it's really it's it was a very is much harder than I expected it
was. So the contributing to the world through content what I know you've you've had a job for a significant amount of time with Hamish and Andy is the content producer online content producer what connection is money to the creation and putting out into the world? What do you man so for instance you've got a job so you could say like most people create now they put irons in the fire they're putting out content to land something to create money from this thing right? So you go I make make make to make to make over here MONEY MONEY whereas you've had a job so when you were making money, so what was it linked to money the creating and putting out into the world or was it a side hustle type of thing? He has more side hustle stuff.
Yeah. So it's like, like making a producing an album or doing like a rap record or doing a live live internet show or doing a band or
And I think I just I've always, I always I just love that thing, I think since I was like, 1314 when I said for my first band, as a punk band in the UK, and, you know, I was just at the enthusiam, recreate the website, and I HTML code at geo cities like this is like, nearly 20 years ago. And it was that kind of that's what I love about the internet, I think is that you can do anything and no one's read typing it. Yes. So I think I've always had that thing but I jumped from project to project so much that they none of them really have enough time to fly. So hamstring any work has been my longest consistency. We've been with them nearly 12 years now. And that I think that's the I think that's the area that I'm obviously strongest in is producing comedy or short videos, what have you learned about consistency working on HMA? The you have like the good work is simple. Like when you say how to do a good thing, it's such a simple thing, like the nuances of like, times and beats in the narrative. You guys know about this like with video editing. Initially, like it takes so much trial and error and things to fall over before you realise how to make things work in terms of telling a story in a video. And I think the longer you do it, the simpler you realise it is and so sometimes when like you got an intern or someone you're working with and you educate or you're telling them like this is how I do it might not be the right way, but this is what I learned it off. You often feel like fuck, I've done a lot of work for not really much knowledge. Doesn't feel like much knowledge, but it but it's potent and it's
Yeah, what's that second simplicity idea. We've got Dr. Jason Fox who's coming On the show, New Year's Eve is he coming on? And he talks about something called second simplicity which is basically you have things simple and then you have complexity so things are like really hard and then you have second simplicity which is doing all of this work all this complex work fucking up and trying all these different things to arrive at what the answer is, which is still very simple I guess it's that point of like, understanding story beats understanding how those things work,
you have to saturate the doors, but it try everything to really be convicted and someone researches and it's like that's what life is just continual research. What do you what are your boys biggest learnings from doing this podcast or like What's what? What have you what like, characteristics of producing this show? Like stack the most
in terms of the consistency thing? how we feel about It isn't necessarily how it's being perceived. So you could feel like it wasn't great. So when it may be related to feedback, it's not necessarily how it's perceived by an audience or someone who is a fan of the show or somebody comes into contact with it.
Because everyone's in a slightly different headspace and taking something different out that you didn't say.
Yeah, yeah. And so, you know, Id good idea is that that whole concept is subjective. Because someone will interpret as good and someone interpret is no good for them. And so when it comes to feedback, when it comes to how you feel about what you're doing, and so it will ebb and flow, so it's not necessarily going to feel great all the time. And so if you're in the game of riding through it being graded, being high, and everywhere in between,
it's almost feels like we've done 558 drafts. So I think that whenever you're trying to work with this idea that you're working on this complete final piece, that's where it becomes a problem. And so by saying we've committed to doing the show for 10 years, by doing 10 years, we've got heaps and heaps of drafts that we can work on. I think that that's probably a mechanism to make sure that we don't suffer from perfectionism. We don't we don't even suffer from the potential hype that can come around things. So it's like, if you're just doing a draft someone's feedback, you're okay with because you know that it's in draft form. Whereas when you show an edit to someone, and you have said in your mind, this is the final version, this is it, it always is a little bit more painful, getting feedback. And so I think even without within our client side of our business, what we do is bring people in earlier into the process and we show them the, the process and they each receive approach to it and what that means is, they can then have a hand in creating Rather than it just being this thing that we shot the end, and then have to
work a bunch of stuff, that's a really strong loan. Because it's like that the biggest trip up with any creating anything is that perfectionist thing is the whole 8020 principle isn't like it takes you the shortest period to get it's 80% of an idea. And that 20% refinement types of fucking waste of time. Yeah, yeah,
I think you and I both love the launch phase of anything, right? It's that idea of like, having the Instagram account having the domain name having the logo. And so feels complete. Yeah, and so. So a part of, I guess, with the daily talk show, it was also about not adding too many other brands and things to it. So learn and build slowly over time. Exactly. So I think that you could easily say, being in network, do heaps of things have heaps of shows. And that's what my natural sort of inclination is, is to like add more. And so if you take that off the table and say, I'm only going to add To The Daily talk show, and we're only focusing on this brand, and we're not getting excited about the shiny object outside. What are the shiny objects inside that are all adding to the same thing
is I mean the hack. I mean, the hack might, using the term hack might infer that it's a quick way to success or something. But the hack really is doing it every day. Like, I think about if I did something when I was young every day, it's like, it gets overlooked because everything is so shiny, and maybe everyone thinks that they're going to be the success story where it does just pop. But that's the unicorn these days it's the Tom Cruise of the internet, right Tom Cruise. There's very few people that will ever be as famous as him. And so for in for online. The success that we look to and other people is so far from the reality the percentage of us being able to attain success of a Logan Paul for 99.999% of the world is Yeah, it's not going to happen. And so that's where it is so easy to look left and right. But if you can stay focused, the hack is just stick at whatever it is consistently.
Yeah, I love that it's American Ryan, my friend we're talking about the other day. And like, if you're in love with the process, you're invincible. But yes, it's only when you're in love with the outcome there. I mean, it's such a waste of time. If you look in linear time, like the outcome is like a second if you once you publish it or whatever. And the process may be like, you know, hours and hours. So if you have that love of the process, then I mean, I'm speaking to the converted, I'm sure you know that. But like, that's one thing that I've, I love is like, and then it never feels like you need to attain like you do you need I think to be in love with the process. I find you need to be in love with the purpose of it. Because if you're doing it for just the feeling of giving someone a sense of joy or liberation of thinking or whatever, make them like crack open them up brain a little bit or just make them giggle. That's that feeling of contribution makes you happy, doesn't it? Um,
what is it? What's something you've stuck to, personally, that you're proud of, in terms of just I could be work or maybe outside of work, just personal, do anything. I'm
meditating every day for like eight years.
I think that and then for six of those years, it was twice a day that that kind of really, that consistency gave me a lot of ground and an ability to witness myself greater level of self awareness and awareness of how other people are motivated. I think that that was I'm really proud of I think also consistently being in my relationship, my partner in terms of bringing myself with love and attention and not like always trying to feel good and look for different things. I find that more and more and more family as well like that a really nourishing aspects of my life. For me, I think relationships and experiences the most valuable thing in life so I think I've particularly learned that this year is like that feeling of bringing another person a smile just by being in the moment and being happy and playful yourself and curious and looking for laughs that that is the best feeling in the world and I used to want to always capture those moments and because like being producing funny stuff will fun stuff should I say I didn't like the word funny because it's like, when you again that's it feels like an outcome but fun is a process orientated thing. You're again in principle when you're focusing on just having fun, and no one can say you're not having fun
because it doesn't really matter. Not be funny. Yeah, but you cannot be
funny. Exactly. It's a subject but fun. isn't so I mean fun so subjective, but at least that's why
aren't the only thing we promise is the daily bit. And that's pretty true. We said we would like we didn't, can't get mad at that. What was the if you were to look at the the week leading up to the panic attack? What were the signs? Or what was the state of mind and the state of the world that you'd sort of created? That could now looking back being telltale signs? That's a
good question. I think
it's the same thing before, it's like I got hit with pretty bad depression about four years prior to that. And that's why it's actually more than four years, probably eight years ago, but that's what meditation got me out of, I just googled how to fix your brain and that was the main answer. But then with anxiety, it was like this, I think I was ignoring my effect on my partner at the time and and ignoring my effect on what I was, again, deriving my sense of worth worthiness from it was it was forever external. And, and I you know, I resolved a lot of that when I went and did all that meditating. But this was like, I think this is more a deeper wound. That was a little To my childhood and I grew up in like a pretty extreme Christian sect, I turned to the extreme like as in like, I'm not not like sexually fucking you up or anything. It's more like super intense psychological, spiritual manipulation, which is a very hot thing. It's a very specific nuance that's, it's only been like this. I started a support group for a few years ago and like it hearing people's stories about how they, like it was, it's not I'm not going to say that to say that. It's like, it's a hard thing to explain the little pocket of psychologic was what was the feeling that you got from the experiences that guilt? Is it? Like what do you think that that sort of psychological extreme rejection and conditional love extreme like, almost like you feel bipolar, like you got as part of yourself that's bad and evil, and you got a good party stuff that's really good. And you reject the bad side of yourself with this Intense narrative week after week and we had this also weird mechanism that was all about sharing vulnerably and laying your life down so this notion of funding anything in my life right now if you're in the church me like I could say I you know I really enjoyed but it didn't work this way but I've got a bit of a got bit much out of it and again, this it will sound weird, but like, you're very hyper self aware of your motivations or things and if anything selfish, you automatically speak it out and and people reflect how you've been selfish or like where God can take that position or this notion of God which I suppose is just more this idea of loving this energy that's apparently got a personality and emotions which is absurd. But like when you born into it, it's crazy how much like this just is the reality and you look at everyone outside of the church is like selfish in other and living for their own category. Essentially,
so those that wait before is it So, journal, so it's the, I guess to connect to those, it's the feeling that you you're not complete
or not enough as I am and I'm not okay as I am. So it's kind of like this. I mean, I, I love my family to bits and I've got no problem with anyone still in the church, I want everyone to be happy and that it's working for them. But for me, I had an immense sense of going from a place and I never really resolved this until my panic attack really brought it up. So my psychologist said it was like, it was like my nervous system, just shake it like suppressing and then your nervous system just pieces out and you literally fight it's like you feel like you're going to die. It's the worst feeling in the world. Like I'll take depression or anxiety any day. Like it's you feel like your nervous system. So game show with that. We're trying
landed in the middle bit about the nightmare, but so you would pick it so that the anxiety affected you when it is it just because it was so
it's debilitating and it's also very frightening, but depressions like a more of like a sedate and, and you want to take your life and you That was a fanciful thing in comparison to this dark darkness. But
anxiety is like it's like it's
it's, it's, I guess a higher frequency or just shoots your nervous system and it's
it's just awful it's such an awful experience and you can't it's so hard to again that's what this is it has been about like trying to rewire my brain to not have anxious thinking and and you see what the triggers are and you see what the remedies are and you just slowly have to do the work to remedy and it is clearly something you can remedy. I believe that these illnesses on pain impressions is something we can resolve. It's just finding the tools in the community and the support and the friends to facilitate that and not, I'm a firm believer not band aid in it.
Because our band would have band aids tend to look like do you think,
to me that they were medication or distracting myself of drinking or partying or anything that's avoiding shutting your eyes being still allowing that feeling to come up as yours horrible is and allow myself to just process it and be with it and not run away from it. And then it comes in for you as quickly as the motion of laughter does like it if you were just don't like their negative feelings. And so if we treat them as with the same attitude as a, as a positive feeling, they pass just as quickly as a positive feeling, too.
I heard Sam Harris recently say that. Anxiety and excitement, a very similar internal response. And so it's just a different framing. That's interesting when you scared you know, you could get angry just excited. And so it's just this complete different label on it that shifts but internally that from a physiological response, it's very it's like the same thing. When are you before a panic attack? Is it living with anxiety? Daily feeling it and then when it happens, a panic attack? It's a extreme amount of it. Yeah. It was it just constantly happening and then boom or nothing. And then boom.
It was females nothing and
then boom, and then residual anxiety. Like, I think I'd, I'd always like my moms have been anxious and, you know, I knew I had anxiety but it just all came to the surface unexpected lately or something happened that in my personal life and my relationship that just triggered it, which essentially made me it was a feeling of I'm not enough. And then it just brought up all the feelings of like feeling like I'm not enough by my family standards because they used to have deep relationships with me now that I'm been selling Bad or don't have their worldview and all the sense of rejection and not being good enough. And all that pain, I kind of mirrored into my relationship and had that kind of weakness and then anyway, so the anxiety was just a reflection of that suppressed pain coming up through my anatomy. And was that brave and fast it was, I think a panic, there's a difference between defining the difference but there's a difference between like having a panic attack and just have an anxiety, panic attacks, like where the anxiety just like I think what you said like just climaxes and, and you can do very real things to one thing, one key thing I've learned of anxiety is like, I can't resolve it on the level of the thing of the problem. So for me, it's in my mind, and I can't can't really do cognitive behaviour therapy effectively, I've got to kind of sink down into deeper parts of my body and my Shockers and feel those energy centres and be still in that and then inform my mind from that. deeper beingness in my self and that's what meditation is, like, for me it's like sinking down into deeper states of what I am and then allowing that stuff to just piss on up out for
me. So does that mean not as if you're having this is it's like, Okay, I need to not be necessarily communicate like say if, say, you know, you're here, it's like if you're angry or whatever, just give it like five minutes definitely enter into this thing of just like, I like I'm on. I'm on a roll right now let no no fuck you. Yeah, no, fuck you. It's like it can be quiet and stayed into but it also feeds into that whole world that you've created for yourself in that moment.
So is it?
Is it realising that whenever I if whenever that happens, that's actually not, there's never a good outcome in that regard. And then So, what do you what can you do? What do you replace from a communications within the relationship sense? You're feeling that from someone Are you feeling Like you want to enter into the anxiety feeling what do you do a brave
is the biggest one and that's what I mean like in terms everyone focused on a different energy centres like your chest or you got and and doing this thing that S is do before they go into the Navy SEALs same people are different country but they do before they enter like a intense military they operation they go they just do this breathing thing where it's 10 in 10 hours 10 seconds in hold of 10 seconds. 10 seconds out, hold it for 10 seconds and you you jump start your body it's like the Wim Hof stuff it like JUMP JUMP starts your body into a state of the excitedness
is you've always been in an area of that self development faith, trying to find you know, if there is an answer my consciousness if there's an answer you're, you've you've found you found a few answers in your life and then realised potentially they're not or like I feel like you've had a lot of experiences with going to a psychologist today challenge part of that The idea of finding a single truth is single and yeah which is a
great interest in areas in life because there's I think there's commonalities in all these people's worldviews and the more you research that's what I think life is about to me that's what I'm most excited about is just research like so right now I'm not meditating much at all because I want to have more ground Lee like drink a beer get drunk, like just more earthly experiences, which a lot of meditation teachers don't do they they once you start the more you meditate, you just ramp it up but you become very ethereal and disconnected from reality
which also plays into I guess the thing that you broken and need fixing right like so say like, you can not drink and not do all these sorts of things based on I'm not good enough. And so I don't knit like I can't be Yeah, it can be it can
be OCD with it. Yeah. Yeah. Hundred percent. And you think you're only there for that and that's actually interesting, because that's what I did do when I started doing Vedic meditation. I made that my new Cold you know, I these are God shows George short. Friendly Jody's on my podcast. And he was he was telling me all this stuff and he is like, it sounds like you're a cult hobbyist. Because I just I replaced that. That mechanical mechanism in my mind where I wanted to attach my sense of I've that's the answer.
If you've got this extreme, feel like you got this pathway, and it's extreme. And then Europe, like it's easy to read, but if you got a whole Yeah, and if you replace the hall with something and you take it out, it's very easy to replace it with an extreme thing, right? So it's like, for me food and my extreme eating. It's quite shocking. That extreme meeting then leads into like, extreme dieting or extreme like it's very high.
It's a bit then what if, say for instance, you you realise that the cult thing is what they call but you realise that you take it away, implement no rule, so no consistent So you like food thing? I think people struggle without some kind of rainwork framework could call it framework rules. So the daily meditation thing for someone taking a month off is like, throwing them back into the wild.
We should, but that's why I think that's the is the key because anyone wise that I've come across, like, there's only a handful of people that like, you fucking, you're on it. And they're people that have this ability to say, I mean, this is about to premise it my framework or my understanding of the nature of existence is that the greatest desire is for us to evolve. And that ignorance is a is a mechanic for us to become aware of that evolution and love pulls us towards that evolution. So I think for me, it's like the more different situations I can jump into, the better I'm adapting and therefore evolving. So if the least things I can grab onto and the more fluid I can be is that like the Dallas way, it's like fluidity is life rigidity is death. Now ability to just always be in changing. I mean, that's why I like the things that we've lived with pigs like that you come and saw me do a few years ago that in shownotes Media it's like it threw me out of my comfort zone and forced me to adapt and there's something very exciting about my brain pulling towards that I think it's because I grew up in a framework that was so like freedom was so bound and but they convinced that's what's so manipulative about it is like you are free shackled to this thing. That's literally the words they kind of use. And they believe that you know, the Jesus bride or her wife now and all these kind of really quite preposterous things, but they're just stories I guess.
Anyway, I'm data and the, like the pig example, something that's pretty extreme, you know, going to a restaurant farm or whatever and living with some pigs. It got to the point where a morning show came like films you and stuff So that there is an extreme nature to that. You've got fond memories of that and look at that. fundly. When does extreme serve you? And when doesn't serve you
ask a question? Because some, when it says may is
giving me a sense of liberation of my thinking or breaking down boundaries of what I thought was true, and I'm pushing the boundaries, I guess, and when it doesn't serve me, it's kind of it's, it's a different form of
what I feel
like I read something recently that's about this. It's actually it's like there's two forms of
not ignorance, but it's two forms of something or other.
And I can't remember what it is. So that's good. I'm sorry.
But I think what I'm trying to say is that like, I feel like in some cases like that, it helps you and it's great, but in some cases, you're doing it for a non evolutionary purpose.
Well, yeah, it can be Like, there's multiple truths, I guess, is part of it too, which is like, which I think is Yeah, I think extreme in general, is it like because I think I've got an extreme personality as well. And I think that it's hard as like if you are creating something or even with relationships to understand how, how you fit in, how do you fit in when you're bigger than the whole the world provided? Do you
think it's outcome focused? When we think that doing something is are you seeing your head, right? So you go, put myself out of my comfort zone to sort of heighten my understanding or feeling like there is some thinking around the thing you'll get from it? Which is the outcome? Yeah. But then if you don't do that, you're just a receiver of whatever the world throws at you. But then there's this balance between trying to push yourself into creating have drawn
that drive without outcome.
Yeah. And so because then you don't want to just be loose. Fucking not sort of planning and put yourself out there or so there's a Yeah, like this
paradox of because if you're also wanting to if you're travelling if you're wanting to go somewhere, this comforting sort of knowing that there is a destination or an outcome for that travel. So the idea of like, if you're going from, you know, LA to San Francisco, you know that how much time you have and then so you can almost create stories and things and work out the, the parameters to then have adventure. Whereas if you don't know where you're going to end up, there's almost no parameters, no framework, no boundaries. And so then you can actually, that's exciting. It's it's exciting, but I guess it doesn't necessarily potentially on a long
It can it can be darker. I suppose. It depends what you want
to experience. I think the first example is like the best times you haven't Life when are unexpected I find like or surprises or I mean that's what laughter as well like it's always an unexpected thing but the the best night I have is when we didn't plan it all We were going to bed and then we ended up doing this and going out here
and do you ever find you try and hack that so it's like oh well maybe let's go out and that's what Uber rates is great ride because it's like it'd be hot right just to have dessert now yeah but overeats has free pick Elena
paper that's right. Yeah.
Which is which there's one Smith get bogged down with it. I find that it's quite hard in summer because it the oj gelato then the they don't hold as well they get liquidity. Whereas some of your personality so now it's extreme. But what what's your outcome for what do you how do you remedy that? Or like how do you comfort or how he plays it or whatever. It's like the draft thing, right? It's like the drafts of showing up every day having consistent things, lowering the barrier of like what success looks like. So I think that potentially I look too far to be getting and not like and so when I go too far to be the real small things that actually have impact go by the wayside. So it's things like actually being conscious about email, and just like sending the email back to the pert like, or like even doing washing or those types of things, where it's like, I think that in the extreme mindset, sometimes you can be like, like, I can't think about that. Like, I don't have time to be thinking about these small dumb things because I'm trying to work out this big thing.
I think you've done a good job, Josh, this year of not knowing you could say outcome but not under, not being able to have the answer of what something we're doing is going to bring us will do for us or evolve to. So then,
but knowing something will come out of it right. But you don't know we don't know what is So it's like a detachment of outcome, but also recognising that this is the outcome like so the thing is, if the show had to stop for whatever reason today,
like if it wasn't on,
we would have it but would still love having this conversation. And that's like, what you were talking with Ryan about the process if you love the process, and it's like, okay, all of a sudden the internet goes down, we'll probably just get a campfire or whatever, and still talk,
because it's Connect. I mean, like when I'm trying to sense what you guys love about this, and I'll suggest it might be connection, it just like having that curious space to connect with one another and connect with other people. I mean, that's what I love about with my partners is just an opportunity to sit down look in the eyes and just connect with one another. I mean, that's what you must love doing it together with you might your friendship must have really grown and flourished and become somewhat of a marriage, I suppose.
Yeah, I mean, they're also interested like catching up with people that I haven't seen in a long time. And then the depth you go to let we go to with the people is a very unique thing. It's like this. It's it. It's
so unusual, primitive, I think like, like how we sit around fires and tell stories and share experiences and yeah, research.
And so if slow is your word for the year or you've been trying to slow it right down, what does it look like?
um, I think be more conscious of what how I accelerate. So be aware and do it anymore content I've done a lot. This is all like I've done I've done contented projects before but like being more absolutely content in what I create.
creating it for the love of the purpose of it rather than focused outcome. And I said that so many times, but like, I feel like that's such a fuck up in my brain I thinking where I can't do that. So,
we see big, I think that which is I think, like an exciting thing, right? Which is like, I think like the conversations you and I have, it's like, how to create the multi million dollar business, right? And that like I've done the same thing. It's like, well, you got a whole thing, like you're gonna make it $1 before you can make $10 and $10 before you make 100 and 100 before thousand. And so what is some of those smaller? What's the small thing that's not outcome driven that you're excited about for 2020? Do you think
smoke making little video did this making little videos that I've, I think, got somewhat of a thought provoking mind expand in liberating sense. I love those edits that you've what's the Simon limit? Yeah, yes. So just taking something that I think is funny and then making it more absurd and try to interweave something that makes people think differently. I think it's, I'm hoping to do some more work with Russell Brand. Next As well, I've worked for him a bit in the past and coming towards Yeah. And so doing something
stay at your place. Yeah.
Doing something that that, like I really like his work in that sense that it's Laughter But there's enlightened thinking interwoven with it. And I think that's for me that's that's that's a newer ground of content or I guess it like because these are the fires. Our phones are the fires of you know what fires used to be our phones. That kind of number. Pyromania?
Lucy that around the five Yeah. Yeah, you still here.
So do you? Do you spend a lot of time on you find yes,
no, not really. But I think just
offering something that into that space where everyone where everyone's attention is in this day and age that actually does something that helps them But doing in a way that's fun. So you kind of appeal to their level of short attention span thinking but you're actually delivering something that's insightful that will actually help them. I feel like that's a two punch. Really. And I'm, I'm, I'm learning how to do that better. Like, I want to do that really, really well.
What's in the platform? It's like McDonald's doing salads. You know, you've got you've got someone who's going to read
a relevant platform or like, Well, yeah, and then they're like, yes, but you're saying they've got the
potentially unhealthy or whatever, and you're
doing it for because our pressured we go to make this joint look a little bit healthy.
Never had a salad for Mac is
not holy crap. It's a drug dealer who gives these customers a bit of panadol because they've got a headache from the night before.
Yeah. Did I do that?
maybe it's not a bad idea.
But I reckon I actually think that notion is what's because it you need to be relevant. If you're going Drop insightful wisdom. Like Dalai Lama told on Tick tock
tick tock Yeah.
Yeah, my mom is a yogi and has meditated, you know, for the last 15 years. I say that would you ever have a tie? Will you not know? It's just she just doesn't she's not intense about it. She just, she's baked in. She's always just doing a meditation and yoga and it's her life. And she has a gurus that she looks to and paramahansa Yogananda he's a you know, as a guru from thousands of people around the world old school, he what he was when he was on earth, and what he is now, like, it probably sells beyond what he believes probably was even capable. And so the thing is, it's it's interesting because it's, it's almost still outcome focused, when we're thinking that the content we're creating and being relevant to the platforms and where it goes. There is an outcome. We need to get it to the people. Yeah. Where's these people back in the day? No social media, they wrote books, they documented their life and people around them follow probably heard whispers of them. And now they're, they're exceeding that, you know, big based on these platforms and stuff. And so what it's a weird thing because it's, you don't want to just
what's relevancy on a piece of paper?
I think it's holding it lightly. I'd say like, because you need to be relevant. Because I've always, I mean, like, if you contribute something at some point, I think it's worthwhile being relevant. Because if you contribute in something that you think will help people, it's worth taking a moment to try to appeal to their level of thinking, and that's what I think. So it's like health loosely. It's not like I must, I must. That's why I like that Vedic principle, which is a bit Yogi as well and it's like, have you are you surrender preference and surrender preference and desire to in a particular outcome, but you hold it loosely. You know what you think will work? I think that lightness that is the
case. Hmm, so
yeah, yeah, because I it's it's a hard one because it's the Times have changed.
And so you're not the platform, Hamish and Andy, like, in the time that they've been there, like, you know, within sort of media and mainstream things have changed tapes. And so like, all the principles remain the same, like name is not the monster necessarily.
It's like you just adjust like comedy like that we've got all these universal truths. And so part of it is like, there's things that are funny, and there's things that aren't funny, or there's stuff that will work potentially better on certain things. So being able to quick, funny stuff versus sort of longer burn a slower burn when Instagram was 15 second video, yeah,
yeah. So that's the whole thing
is like, I mean, there's I think that the
had to film in the app. Yeah, he had to stitch him in that way. Okay.
So it's like this the universal like, I guess. Even if you look at self development, development, I think What I love is, even with authors, when I read a book that I really love that's being done in 2019 or 2018, or wherever it is, I want to be like, oh, when is what would they reading? Like, what are they age and it ends up being stuff that's super fucking old. It's like the, it's like Ryan Holliday was stoicism and all that sort of things like these things are actual universal and they're just doing a great job of making it relevant making it relevant to presenting it. Yeah. And that's, I guess, what, like profits, or whatever it's like, okay, you know, creating a relevant message that, you know, through metaphors and all that or, you know, real stories, however you want to view it. Yeah, I guess that's like, you know, part of them.
I love that. I think that they're the people that are really charming. Like, for me two examples of Johnny Pollard, who's a meditation teacher and he's, he's taking this ancient you know, like, I guess psychology around the mind and spirit and made it super relevant. And so charming and like just the way he's always feels. So, such little ego and his teaching that he just feels so in like he gravitates towards him and also empower who's an incredible Tantra teacher. So, which is not all sexual. It's just living life to the fullest essentially, and understanding, having greater self awareness. But she does it in such an attractive way that you, you so charmed by her, and I think that there's so many teachers out there in terms of the spiritual and person to what is it called Tantra Tantra
not sexual. I didn't even know sex because tantric sex is not a tantric sex is what is Tantra. What should I do tantric sex? What is it?
It's it with us. I mean, Tantra is more like a 97. But I've only done a couple of workshops. I don't know hey, but it's essentially about understanding your body's energy centres and understanding how you can communicate with another person and and let Love Languages. And Daddy, Daddy Daddy.
So nice. Ellen, what is the definition? What are those? What do you
say? So it's a holistic practice. It's not about sex orgasm. It's about the journey you take to get there.
Maybe that could be sort of
life hack boy,
your life. So Mr. 97 is he's got a club for 2020. And it's the life hacker club. So looking at different sort of, yeah. live like a club could do. That sounds very
What I love about the lineage it's not it's not an outcome because it's all about the journey. Yeah, I said,
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, so it's Western variation of Tantra, associated with new religious movement is a foreplay.
No, it's actually not all good. I mean, like the main thing I like maybe a foreplay doesn't have to have orgasms in it like sex is always orgasm
full. Really good. up
Yeah, true. So it's it's only 45 minutes before the
before the, Jackie What was
this? What was if you are like for
fO fO r four point if I IDs Yeah.
Is that like before?
Can you look up the word for for
standby. It's interesting. I mean,
what's the what's the
the sexual activity that precedes intercourse?
So what's the sexual activity? So I guess the thing about that what's it called again? The Tantra Tantra isn't necessarily sexual.
Nobody didn't have a big impact on a component of it is like yeah, enjoying the pleasure, pleasure sex without having orgasm, particularly for men and then the multiple buttons on a woman understand the nose
is it what is one of the Shockers sexual
Yeah, the root chakra lack so then it's a lot to do with breathing exercises to So you don't get blue balls essentially. So you can you send the energy up to higher Shockers, so you can just go for longer feeling in the chest.
Yeah, yeah. So this is like a what's it called pre What? What's it called, if you Jackie, like, quickly premature. So this is a potential mechanism, but a mechanism so rather than taking a nasal spray or something you could potentially have a shocker thing. Maybe I take that from a scientist.
Do you want to have good position? Yeah, don't media describe it? Yeah. Okay. This is called the Lotus Sorry, just this is what we do. Step one, have your partner sit cross legged. Sit on your partner's up a thighs and cross your ankles behind their back. Breathe in sync and stare into each other's eyes. Right or you can do it by yourself. Sit cross legged with your back straight. Place your palms on your knees, begin to breathe slowly and deeply.
So it's meditation. Yeah and it's basically like heart of it and deep connections there's a lot I guys and stuff, but a lot of it is essentially like abstaining from orgasm so you and you can actually charge yourself a lot of the energy like the more you don't come they're long they're more like energy you can you actually feel it a greater amount of vital energy in your day. It's very interesting. I'll try like once I learned about I was like this is ridiculous that I always this is like no no, not November thing. Yeah, it's a bit it actually is.
So do you they came from this stuff. So do you try and so have you pared back the amount of times you're coming then in a week?
Yeah. Until you don't?
Is that removing masturbation?
No, you do that but then you
for you, but your monster
shot it's like it's like a battery charge. She don't orgasm but you masturbate? Yeah.
So you and you don't do it to material you do it. You do it for longer and you don't you The intention is not to climax so you just ride this wave that essentially looks like a graph. So if you and you eventually your pleasure curves because you never climax it's like this. It's like that you know that
Yeah, building the law.
I mean, seriously, yeah. When you
the high you bring this pleasure curve and drop and then ride it again and drop you and never climax. That pleasure curve ends up being like, way higher than an orgasm would be if you just busted or not. So I'm feeling sick. Yes. It's insane. Like it's almost psychedelic. Wait,
you're saying that it feels like so without busting a nut? That's the term isn't it?
Jackie, you can have an orgasm without ejaculating. Is that is
that what Yeah, exactly.
So how do you know? What's the difference? How do I know was a full body sensation like you know when I really know the difference between a jet like because I guess my concern would be that. I can think of one The other night she sent up, Jackie.
Yeah, it's, it's fast. And I really encourage you to try it because it's like how do we start if we want to
set myself up like we're going to
do you know what? It's riding a pleasure wave rather than looking at for an outcome. It's essentially we're talking about enjoying the process and keep riding that process curve. And you never having that outcome means that like you have way more energy like vital energy in the wet
Yeah, that he's going to curb that by like not
setting intentions before you sleep not pleasuring yourself before you sleep. All these kind of things.
Well think about young men, maybe women but men masturbating to pornography. Quick.
Yeah. Especially Can I get it done sort of thing is a great example, which
then leads to the premature ejaculation stuff. It's like, you're good to as soon as you have sex, I want to come. And so then, and so that's, I've done this stuff before. I've done the Doing some racing weed. Yeah you don't you push it out. It sounds like you get your because most young man's patent would be wink wink wink come to porn quickly because I need to get done I got 60 days to get through for today and I really like this was
such a quiet
and so then the opposite is don't let it happen to you know that for me so it's not always familiar with the Jacqueline's yeah
you change your relationship to the pleasure
it's it's it's
super interesting super interesting dude and the more you start doing it you're like this is ridiculous and I've never done this before
people talking about this
I mean this all this new age shit like he gets it gets like Word and it gets like even though November there's so much like ignorant talk around it but that's the fun of it that's the ignorant bit I like just that lack of understanding about the entire actually doing why actually doing it like is that why would you not Buster not like minute my into bus nuts and and I think I just saw Real like testosterone fueled Don't take my fucking orgasm away from me. But yeah, I think I'm what I'm saying like the nonlinear approach is understanding like that you it's it's about like connection and a deeper it's really like the most psychedelic experience I've had during meditation and during sex I compared to and then doing acid and
close to it with that. So
yes, yeah, it's really important to
know how many sort of days have you gone in a row of like the build up where you are self pleasuring, but not busting enough,
about four weeks? Nothing crazy. But people do for like a lot longer than that. I'm new to this. I've only just started I only started doing this Tantra stuff about three, three and four months ago. But it is something that a lot of people would like naturally do have a really good partner anyway. It's not like it's it's just Building framework and thinking and practices around it that makes you expand your ability to do more. But no doubt like you know, a lot of people do Tantra lot like sex just because they're really in the moment of their partner. Right?
This is my seventh a lot for you, isn't it? Yeah.
Meditate, meditation. You've been generously doing workshops and teaching people what evade it is a Vedic meditation. It's Yeah, it's
kind of like that. It's a bit like Tim bit like Vedic meditation is basically a mantra based meditation. Where you hold your awareness on this mantra, which is a Sanskrit sound, that mantra is just a mind vehicle and then you just have your awareness on it for 20 minutes twice a day and it allows you to sink and it's like a way in the ocean allows you to sink into deeper states of what you are deeper different experience of what you are. The more you familiarise yourself with the outside the baseline of what you are, which is just innocent beingness The more you can witness or the higher levels of thinking, the neurotic, continual thought patterns that are all unconscious that we don't, isn't afraid that said like 95% of our intentions are our behaviour is motivated from the unconscious, I think. So it's like, when you sink into these deeper states of being, or experiencing your beingness you kind of have an ability to watch and observe and analyse, I guess or reflect on all this unconscious behaviour that you're acting from. And it's, it's, I think it's insane because we,
it's insane to me that we don't prioritise that more in society because we're running around like being motivated and acting from a fucking huge part of us. That we're not even aware we're doing. like he'd speak to some people sometimes. And that is,
like just reacting and
response or reaction and not really listening again, this is Tantra stuff is really focused on listening like, and there's a bunch of other things that talk about this stuff, but like it having the ability to listen, which is obviously what you guys do as well, because you have to do it in this space to be a good listener, you really have to let go of your reaction to what they're saying and almost like go complete your eyes completely on their brain innocently absorbing their experience without this compulsive thing to it, and I did that once.
Well, if the answer is no more stimulus or information, so it's but that's the way we're in right? And so people don't need more thought. It's about actually stepping back to observe the thousand 60,000 plus the thoughts
we have already got
here. We already have
more toys, use the toys that you've got in your And boy right
now I don't even use them. Look at them from the door actually
short them first.
Sure, but then you gotta stick to the door. And then thinking about what what are they saying?
I think it's okay to enter the door. Potentially move them around, adjust and get out. I think you'd be in and out. We spend all day in the toy room. It's not healthy. Sure. So yeah, we're parenting podcast.
Like getting super date with it. I've been doing this practice in SAM Harris's app, where he gets you to look at an object. And so we the subject, and the objects over there. The the camera right here is the object, focus on the object. So you putting, however we do that, however we focus, you're doing that and then look to the object Where is that focus coming from? And it's it's like I don't have the answer I didn't actually know but it just it what it does is he's purpose is to become one with it all rather than have it as an object over there so
it's so it's almost like is it potentially like looking
at an object I camera Mr. 97 and then take the focus away from looking at Mr. 97 to reverse I love that who is doing the focus staying on top of that it is what is the fucking focusing? What is that whole thing?
That's truth that's perspective that's like the multiple truth right? It's like you're having a different experience just than what Tommy is and and what I have. And that's why like, It's so fucking dumb to argue all the time because everyone's truth is different.
And then what's behind that thought of even that being the truth, man, this is fascinating, because this is what the Vedic people talk about is like the witness witness in the witnessed once you go For that soql enough times you brain guys and that's what they that's they said that's when ignorance got formed is like evolution of nature needed ignorance in order to have an experience of witnessing itself if we can't, which is where we get real trippy and always gives me goosebumps thinking about the ship but like the when you break the cycle of what you're saying, which is your field of consciousness, having an experience witnessing a thing that's been witnessed and you go but then what is that what's behind the seat that's witnessing it's like the seat of the soul or what's what's behind the witness? And then where is that where is that yeah, it's and then it's just if it
is always Fox you have because it's like whoa,
yeah, it's real. Like if it
breaks it makes you break
it because if you go on it if you go on it deep enough for long enough you're really fuck it Brian up because
what we want is an answer via Where is that witness? Where is that? Is it up here to head? like where is it in Now consciousness what's easy him there's no real fucking like where is the
you know the more you quiet yourself you have more you can familiarise yourself with what is the answer isn't thinking more The answer is quiet in the exciting more to have the ability to discern neurotic consistent relevant patterns that we're doing and and just quiet them down so you have the ability to actually watch this because that's where you find the answers I think I mean it is where I found my answers in those quiet quiet quiet moments.
Love it Jeremy calm thank you for being on the show.
It's been such a
goose bumps towards the end. I really
wasn't the no not stuff. You just entering a shocker.
the only one
the daily talk show calm his email address, type in Jeremy con on Apple podcasts and or even spot I'm guessing you're in all those places check out his podcast. Otherwise say tomorrow guys. Hey guys, thanks