#671 – Craig Harper On Situational Awareness/
- April 9, 2020
Craig Harper joins us to chat about how he’s adapted to everything that’s happening, how people are being impacted, situational awareness, pre-existing and taught beliefs, and the challenge of being unable to go to the gym.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Communicating over technology
– Helping people in a time like this
– The impact of COVID-19
– Situational awareness
– The challenge of not being able to go to the gym
– Pre-existing and taught beliefs
Craig Harper: https://www.craigharper.net/
Craig Harper on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whiteboardlessons/
Email us: email@example.com
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 671 Craig hava Welcome to the show. Hi, kids. Now I've been given bloody tutorials and instructions on my new microphone. Don't be too far away. Keep it at the right height. Yeah, you're not that good look and try and cover up your face show a bit of the tip. That was Josh's advice of the of the microphone. And you said
is it been a tip showing? I like that you said, what are we talking about now? Is this an audio thing? Oh, yes. Yeah.
On the on the zoom calls, have you taken your top off yet? Or
is actually the first time I've had a top on but just quick flag because you gotta do the work or
how are you? haps I'm really good. Thank you for having me because I'm very lonely. I've been in lockdown for three weeks and
on the child living all by himself.
suburbia, no cats, dogs are the humans in the
night. You're a creature of habit. I mean, what's what's changed in your daily habits or rituals? Since? What do you think Tom? It starts with bar and ends in bell. What do you think? Yeah, that's just no gym. There's no gym for the gym junkie. I mean, that's it was Yeah, that was your home you couldn't I couldn't get on to you at about 530 every single day. That's where you are. What are you? What are you doing?
I'm improvising, adapting and overcoming.
I am I'm trying to get home got some dumbbells, we've got some bands as you know, I've got a bit of an outdoor area where I do some bodyweight stuff I've even started hanging on sit down everyone doing a little bit of running what no
cardio should do but a little bit of cardio going down to the beach. I live 800 metres from the beach. So it's been an interesting time, but it's been an interesting time. Oh, God. Yeah, I can like god yeah.
Yeah, everybody's everybody's telling you normal. It sounds very cliche, but it is you know that word I'm hearing all the time. We've got a pivot. Have you heard that? Yeah, that's the thing. You got to pivot in unprecedented times Greg
somebody somewhere there's some people just realise that word exists or something. It's every second set. You will in these times have got to pivot economically. We've got to pivot financially, you know, business, this sector, that sector we're all pivoting okay. Alrighty, so we'll mainly we're just getting used to shit and just doing new things. You do a lot of events. Craig Shannon, one of the grumps in Queensland, she was messaging saying she was spewing because of the the corona cancellation of a gig that you were going to be doing how much has this affected what you do? harm? Well, it's only been all my money so that attorney all my business see the thing is when your job is talking to
rooms full of humans and then they ban rooms full of humans, it's somewhat problematic but um, you know, honestly there are people in my way situations but we've just like everyone else trying to figure it out improvising and adapting and overcoming as the marine say, and
yeah, so all my corporate work for the year has at this stage fallen over, we'll see if any of that gets life breathed back into it.
All of our public events and workshops and camps and seminars has have either fallen over or been put on hold, we'll see how they go. But, you know, it's, um, well as as Mr. 97, unfortunately learned yesterday when he was trying to workshop me through some very fundamental technology, I'm a moron.
And, you know, so I've been doing a I was gonna say a PhD in zoom. I was probably a cert, one in zoom. I've been doing a cert, one in zoom over the last week or two. And Melissa, who is ready
runs my life. Of course, she she's been propping me up and we were doing our first zoom event starting next Monday, which is a mentoring programme. I've got nearly 200 people in so I open it up is every chance I will fuck it up. But we'll see. Well, I mean, you are so great at working the room. You're so great at being you know, in person coaching. I don't know about you over the phone skills. combo is it's pretty good when we chat on the phone. Now but in seriousness, how have you found communicating doing what you do via this technology? Is there a difference? And what are the barriers? If so, that is a really good question. Because I mean, you all know me pretty well. I rely on being able to bounce off humans in the room and energy and paying attention to people's physiology. You know, their body language, the way that they're sitting, leaning in
Laying out. Like I can read a room really well, just because I've done it for a very long time. But when there is no room to read,
yeah, it takes It's a whole new thing. And, you know, standing in front of a group where you're getting immediate response and immediate interaction and immediate energy from hundreds of people. That's my natural habitat. But sitting in an office like I am now,
delivering a message or or some ideas or a webinar or whatever it is to a roomful of people who aren't in my room, they're in all their own rooms, yet, it's a completely different challenge. And to be honest, it's harder. It's way harder, but I'm getting better. I'm doing more of it. I've done I opened a conference in inverted commas last week.
Then I did a closing so that was for people all around. That was people in quite a few countries. And it I think it went okay, yeah, but it's just, I mean, the what the interesting thing, there are many interesting things about what's going on, but
You know, we talk especially in,
in the space of performance and potential and personal development and self help and professional development, we're always talking about being better, being more efficient, being more resilient, more resistant, more productive, more proactive, effective, like everybody wants to be a bit tougher, a bit stronger, a bit more resilient. All those things. And right now we're in the middle of,
you know, everything that is unfamiliar, uncertain and uncomfortable for all of us physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, professionally, and you guys have adapted, everyone's adapting. But I think, you know, there are, of course, there are a lot of negatives, and we're very aware of all of the terrible stuff that's going on globally. But I think if there are any glimmers of light, one of them is paps, the fact that now we are learning a lot about ourselves, because, you know, one of the questions that I asked myself was when all of this started to happen, is how am I gonna
To respond in the middle of the inconvenience, the discomfort, the uncertainty, the pain, all my gigs falling over financially, all those things that were going on. And I thought to myself for two reasons, one for me, Well, you know, Mr. smarty pants, it's time for you to really walk your talk and it's time for me to be authentic and to step up for the people who listen to me and pay attention to me and follow me. So I've been very I feel a real sense of responsibility to you know, my not very small audience you know, so I have a fair few people who follow me on various platforms and and I literally two minutes before I jumped on this I got an email for a guy don't from a guy I don't know just saying thank you for everything because if you didn't share the messages that you do, I wouldn't be coping the way I am. And you know, for me, that's just don't know him. Never met him. Just really appreciate it. And it's, it's all of it is new for all of us. And I think, you know, we live for the most part, most of us, not all of us all of the time, but we live a pretty comfortable condition.
In predictable existence, and we're programmed for that. And then when we get the opposite of that, you know, it's, it's a real test. I feel I like I feel privileged that I get to call you on your mobile and have chats to you. And I'm like, because I feel like if I'm not doing right, I want to call Craig say how Craig is doing in this time, because I feel like you are that person that is, you know, able to comfort me without me even telling you I've got a problem sometimes. And I could imagine that's the case for a lot of people. But then you said that is responsibility. How do you as a human deal with that because a lot of responsibility can be daunting or annoying or, you know, depends on really, I don't mean that responsibility as a burden. I feel this is gonna sound weird, and some people will go you're a dickhead, don't blame me. That's okay. But I feel almost like a calling on my life to help people. That's, that's what I think my purpose is. My purpose is not to build
A brand or business or make money. And I would say 30% of the work in inverted commas that I do with people listening, talking, coaching, mentoring, helping supporting maybe 40%. I get zero dollars for and I do it with just as much as enthusiasm as the paid work. So for me, it's just a matter of, you know, I don't overthink things. I control my controllables, which is cliche, but I go, every day I'm going to step up, show up, own up, do my best be vulnerable, express all my own bullshit. What I find is, especially when you are perceived, perceived perhaps as somebody who's got some knowledge or something to listen to or have some experience or some strength or some insight when I also share with people that
you know, I deal with my own stuff and I've got body image issues and I've got eating issues and I've got i can i overthink and I'm full of self doubt at times, and I fuck up and I get up and I fuck up.
I get up again and all of those things, then people find you more relatable and more connectable. And I think that and I don't do it for that reason, but it's just, you know, rather than trying to be some kind of inspiration or trying to motivate people or trying to be some kind of expert, which I'm definitely not. I feel like if you're just you, and whatever that is, all of you, the good stuff and the bad and you share with people what you're going through and how you're dealing with it. That's much more relatable and inspirational to people then, you know, here's my fucking motivational quote for the day. Have you found any advantages or positive sort of perspectives on doing stuff like zoom?
Yet, you know,
it's a good question, Josh. For me, it's like Mr. 97. So my frustration yesterday, which was not at him, but I just get, I got, I did this, oh, I've learned a new thing. Boom. And then the thing doesn't work and I have no ability
To fix it or to figure out why it's not working.
But my you know, the thing of having to do and I know for you guys, this is, you know, this is the equivalent of me picking up a dumbbell. But for you guys, this is just what you do. It's but for me being immersed in technology where, for me, this is very new. It's made me learn a new thing and to figure out, as well as being strategical and practical also to I'm reasonably creative. You know, I've written nine books and all that stuff I need to go How do I apply my creativity to this medium and this resource that I now have available to me? How can I turn what I do teach, share coach encouraged support? How can I bring those two things together so that we might be able to share something with the world that adds value that's not like the 57 billion other voices screaming for attention via
You know the internet I feel like also the you normally standing in a room the idea of being seated is probably part of it. Have you thought about standing up jury? Yeah. So what I'm going to do is how I was going to move my ship but that will be catastrophic but Okay, so behind me is nonsense guy.
He sent me an aluminium aluminium plate that he wanted me to wait
to learn a loser.
I wonder what those small letters were I didn't know
before. So just next to me on my left is a is whiteboard on the wall. So when I'm doing my mentoring groups, which start next Monday night, I'm going to relocate all of this over there to where those chairs I'm going to move the chairs and I'm, I've got a lectern,
which Yeah, I'm going to do the whole thing standing. So, in fact, next time
If and when we do another one of these if we're still in lockdown, which I hope not, but I might do it from because I'm aware that the lighting in this room is not very good. But yeah, Joshua makes a really good point. I'm not. I'm used to
walking and talking. And I can't even when when I have to do a gig for a company where they give me a podium, a lectern, a mic, a fixed mic, I go, I can't do it. I need a I need a lapel mic. Yeah. And if they're like, well, we don't have one I go, we'll get me a handheld mic because I cannot stand in on that thing and talk into that thing and not move for an hour. I can do it, but it won't be very good. So yeah, it's been a big, all like moving around the room and I get more energised when I'm doing that. So yeah, this is also you know, but I've done a lot of radio over the years. So, you know, that has been nice training. I was thinking, potentially the rat race or what people think the rat race is, could be dead and Coronavirus is rat poison
Killing the rat race. But do you think like in terms of what that sort of grind nine to five going into the city, like how it's just sort of it's making everyone sort of stop and look at what their pursuit you know what their pursuit is in life, what their version of happiness and how they're getting it is and and like at the city essentially we're in survival mode A lot of us just enough money to pay your rent and your food at the moment everything else is an absolute luxury and privilege. What do you think it's going to do in six months 12 months time to the economy and people's approach to goal setting and and in reality? Uh
Well, I'm guessing but you know, right now, in fact, let me read you something because it ties in and this is going to go up on my socials later right this just before
if I told you that was that there was something that could make you more resilient, more adaptable, resourceful, creative and aware. Would you want it? Most people would go Yeah.
I would love that. And the answer is, well, you're living in the middle of it, right? So right now we're in this, this altered state. And I think that a lot of us have a real sense of how amazing our life was, before we came into our current normal. So one of the things that I hope is emotionally and mentally and socially that we take this new awareness and perspective and gratitude for what was back into when we get back to that place again.
And I think that, you know, I think for a lot of people may included on, I'm thinking, well, moving forward, I'm going to continue to do no matter where we're at in terms of the virus or the national kind of status. Now that I'm kind of getting my head around this a little bit. This will be something that I incorporate a lot more I think financially it depends on on the businesses in the industry, Tommy in terms of, you know, like I know for people
That that closed the doors on their gym forever not just close the doors temporarily and on a lot of gym owners but I know for people who have gone broke
so you know there are people who are a friend of mine owns a catering company very good catering company also went into liquidation recently. There are a lot of people who are really hurting and this is you know, even if we're through the medical threat in inverted commas by whenever let's go on no October we're kind of kind of in the clear. The you know, the professional and industry related and financial consequences are probably going to be five or 10 years flow on and for some people who are you know, even you know, not not me, but even on a low level me my my bank balance is just going backwards every day because I have zero income. So, I have a full time pa who's amazing. I have premises that I'm still paying rent on Monday.
has a company car I have, you know, and so, and it's, you know, it's fine, but my weekly expenses are about four grand and I'm making zero. So, you know, every four weeks, there's $16,000. And, you know, you go, I can't do this forever so and it'll be fine and we're figuring things out but and my my company's a tiny company, and I'm, I'm in a privileged position, I guess in that privilege, but a different position. A lot of people have got three or four kids in school and closing a partner and, and all those. Yeah, I don't have those expenses. But yeah, look, we're all just navigating it as we go.
What was the perspective shift been like, what do you look back at now and say, Well, I really took that for granted. Mm hmm. This is going to sound cliche for me not too much, because I've always had an amazing sense of awareness of how awesome where we live and how we live is.
I guess really special
Simple things like
just the freedom of being able to see a film, or go down the road and have a dinner with someone or,
you know, drive to the gym, swipe MCAD you know, just all the fun and obviously we relate it back to our personal stuff. But but I've always been,
I don't know, I've been weirdly grateful for what I have. I told this story on my podcast A while ago, but one day, a year or two ago, I was downstairs, I'm upstairs. Now my office, I was downstairs here. And I was I had headphones on and I was in a conversation with somebody. And while I was on the conversation with somebody, I made myself a cup of tea and I made myself a bit of toast and I was doing all these things. I was fully immersed in this conversation while doing these other things. And then I walked up the stairs
to my office, and I got up and I got off the phone and it just became a pet. I'm like how amazing is it that I can just walk downstairs to
Turn on a kid or turn on a light, there's hot water, there's food with fridge in it, then I can walk up those stairs which loop around while carrying a cup of tea, eating a bit of toast talking on the phone, not spit, unlike I just have an amazing appreciation for everything, everything from the way that we can just move and live to our ability to just turn on a tap and there's hot water, you know, turn on a light and there's a turn on a switch and there's light, there's a fridge with food in it. There's air conditioning, there's Hey, I'll just walk out and jump in my car. Most people in the world don't have that. We in Australia, we all have that all the time. or most of us, you know what I'm saying? And so for me, I know that's getting a bit philosophical, but I've always just thought I am just a really fortunate person who is born in an amazing time in an amazing place. Because the vast timeline of humanity. Human beings have not lived like we live and even asked in lockdown. You know, somebody put up the other day.
I'm stuck at home, and then that was swiped out and it said, I'm safe at home. And I thought it's so true. It's all about the stories that we tell ourselves. And yeah, there are real practical and legitimate challenges. I'm in one as well. But I'm not dying, you know, the four friends of yours, or I'm probably sure there's more than
their businesses are suffering or gone under, what is the difference in these people who are experiencing the same thing? But obviously, they are probably all reacting differently. What are you saying? What are the responses that people are giving you? Well, I think from Well, let's just talk about the practical responses, I think, you know, depends on their business model is whether or not you know, they're going to survive or fall over with a lot of it because some people just have expenses that that they can't avoid. And so they have to, you know, practically close their doors or whatever, but I think
was the second part of the question but it's just I love how you do the the the setup at your talk where you get people up and sit them down on the chair and you got five people all in the same
reaction what are the reactions that these people were having the same thing happened to them what other yeah that's good that's a good question so that the let's just unpack that exercise a little bit because it sets up this now so I don't want him back over too much stuff that we've done but this is always relevant because there's the external stuff that we're all going through situations circumstance, environment, government Coronavirus, all the practical. So that's the external things happening on planet us. Then there's the internal reality which is thought feeling emotion, reaction beliefs, fear, ideas, creativity, reasoning, all of these things. And so, what we see as the human experience, the bottom line of individual human experience is really about the story that we're telling
ourselves. So let's say we had five people in the middle of the Coronavirus, who are all in a very similar situation financially and practically,
then the variability of how they process the world around them comes into play. So as you've heard me say 1000 times Tell me when when my story is, oh my god, this is a fucking catastrophe, even though I'm not in the middle of a catastrophe, but I believe it is. then that becomes my literal experience because a story a cognitive construct is followed by or accompanied by an emotional response, anxiety, fear, which is quickly followed by physiological response. So, adrenaline, adrenaline, cortisol, norepinephrine, elevated heart rate, breathing, sympathetic nervous system, fight or flight so the mind the emotion in the body, create the experience for the end user so to speak. So then when we find somebody who's really good at discomfort, really good at chaos, really
Good at unfamiliarity, really good at uncertainty, then they do this thing. Or they practice this thing that we call in spiritual philosophy or spiritual construct. equanimity, which has been the calm in the chaos. And so, which is something I've tried to practice for years, which is why I think, you know, in the middle of all of the good and bad stuff at the moment, I'm going okay, and I feel everyday I actually feel really good and still really grateful. Well, a nice thought, sorry, JJ. Sam Harris says in one of these practices on his app waking up, and it's meditation in the middle of chaos, is who a great question for everyone to ask, Who will you be in the middle of the worst day of your life? And it's a and how will you respond? And what will that look like? I mean, it's hard to hard to say based on, you know, not experiencing the worst day alive, but it could, you know, it could happen, it could
Be this it could be a business going under or, you know your mom or dad passing away and it's you know what, what, who do you want to be almost is probably a better question Who do you want to be in that situation. And a big part of that is stepping into what we call self awareness or consciousness where you start to become aware of self in the middle of all of the stuff that is not self. So you start to become aware of how am I what's my story right now? You know, what, what am I doing with my thoughts and ideas? Where am I investing my energy? What am I paying attention to? Is it serving me, or sabotaging me and that is, you know, part of consciousness is just being aware of self and reactions and breathing and mind and physiology. In the middle of all of this stuff is out of our control. And so yeah, Sam Harris's app is great. He's great.
And that's, you know, this. This is kind of
You know, one of the things that we talk about, I think, not enough in personal development, so much of personal development is not about the person. It's about all the external stuff. Whereas I'm really fascinated with individual responses to external stimuli. How does Josh deal with it? How does 97 How does Tommy How does Craig, how do they all individually deal with the exact same thing at the exact same time because each of our experiences will be determined by us not by what's going on. And that's, you know, that's the that's why I'm studying, you know, a doctorate in, in neuro psychology because that is the stuff that just blows my socks off and when we can, I believe the start of being able to have a great life is understanding how your mind works in a range of situations. And then trying to work with your mind not against it and learning to manage is not the right word, but coexist in a healthy way with your mind.
because your mind is its own thing. It is not you and you are not it just like your body is not you just like your emotions and not just like your job or your car or your, your brand or your image or your podcast. It's not you. It's just something that you interface with.
When you are in a place where you feel like you're spiralling or you're in that negative sort of perspective, how do you shift?
That's good. So for me personally, I sometimes I had a moment yesterday where I was quite frustrated.
I blame 97 because it couldn't be me. No, not at I don't blame him at all. I was and I knew my frustration, right. And I knew I was the problem. But you know, when you know, I don't know, like, I've never been drunk, but I feel it's like when you know that something's happening to you and you're a little bit out of control, but you can't just pull yourself instantly out of it.
What's like? Sorry, right? Like I was saying this the other day, like, I know that if Brady and I are fighting, I guess stop it and make the decision right now and say sorry, and everything would be fine. But it is the baby in us, which is like now fuck it like I'm, I'm,
I'm right on this. Yeah. And it just like it doesn't actually help anything. And so you're aware enough obviously to understand Are you know I'm not being reasonable in this moment. And so when do you I guess we almost can lean into that right we and that's where the spiral comes in. It's like Hey, I know that there's another option here. But fact I'm actually I'm having a bit of fun being a prick or I'm having a bit of fun just blowing up. And so how is it just time for you or the actual mechanisms to make this switch? there? This is great. This is the great stuff I love all this shit. So this is about in the moment. This is called situational awareness. This is called self awareness.
One on One is recognising what you're doing. And then in that, because when all this personal development stuff matters is in the middle of the shit, not when we're all in a workshop and everyone's having a nice time or you're sitting on the beach reading bloody the seven laws of Highly Effective People or, you know, whatever it's really about in the moment, so for me, like I was on the phone with Melissa yesterday, following on with my stuff with Mason, and we were just going around in circles and she was and she was, she was being amazing because, you know, I'm, I'm a baby, and I was just getting I went, I'll give you a call back in a minute. And so I just got off the phone and I literally I I called it 20 minutes later had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me, because I could feel myself getting
anxious. I could feel that could feel just the adrenaline could feel that and I wasn't physiologically in a good place.
And I recognised it. So I just literally, I got off the phone and I walked around the block and I came in, I made a cup of tea. I sat in the chair behind me over my right shoulder. And I did about four minutes of breathing. I just do box breathing and I was completely calm and relaxed and I rang her back and went Sorry, I was addicted. She actually wasn't addicted at all but but I was a bit of addicted. But did you think as Mason He's an actor, he's a fucking pain in the ass. That's it?
Well, yeah, I said that.
You have my sins. Like, it's like, you know, when you go somewhere and everyone speaks another language that you don't wear. He's like that he's because he speaks that language. And I'm like, man, I know for words.
He needs to come with a manual and it should include the breathing exercise, you know?
That's right, the operating manual for 97. He did a great job. I mean, it's for me, it's just amazingly impressive that you know, but we've all got our strengths down.
You guys are amazing at what you do. I'm okay at what I do and it's just trying to bring it all together in a way that's gonna I think right now anyway serve people. We've got some comments in on YouTube Mesa, what are people saying? Yeah, Jesse's saying, Do you think that some people will have a hard time readjusting once this is all over? Because Personally, I feel like I took a lot of things for granted before and will be excited to get back to them.
Yeah, I think a lot of people will.
Will not struggle but it'll be interesting in the getting back into the No, I think also the, the re entry into normal in inverted commas will be a very graduated thing. So I don't think it's going to be Sunday. Okay, we're back to normal Monday, boom. It's not going to be that it's going to be culturally, socially, financially, politically.
It's going to be a graduated thing over time.
Funny thing about this too, is some of spoke to some people who obviously
Not they don't want the virus and they don't like what's going on with people being ill. But they like it. It's like I'm actually happier. Not happy that people are getting crook but I fuckin loved it. I quite like this. Do you think that's a reflection on the previous part like their past or they they don't want what they had the saying in new normal they're having a break from what it was in being like, I don't want that anymore I want I want something different even if I don't know where it is quite quite yet. Yeah, I think so. I think also that I think that's part of it told me I think that people are going oh shit how long it's like me that I said to someone the other day I wrote on Facebook or somewhere I wrote until two weeks ago I thought zoom was a car sound that cars made and then all these people like it's been around for a decade a decade. I'm like, really they like, I'm like how long this shit been going on everybody since Oh, you know? 2010 I really you know, it's but I think also some people like Melissa who's more
pay a business partner runs my life she
she's an introvert and she lives by herself and 31 or whatever she's 30 very
never never been in, you know, a long term series, all that kind of stuff. She loves being by yourself. And she really she doesn't enjoy people being sick and she doesn't enjoy you know, navigating some of the practical things but just on a on an individual level. She's really quite happy working from home and doing the things she's doing the way she is. It feels a bit like a life audit. I feel like I'm obviously it's a weird one because you don't want to. It feels like you're a bit of a prick if you take too much joy in something that is creating a lot of pain in the world. But I think for me personally, it's like, I've never done more exercise. I've never been more creative. I've never been more sort of dialled in with what I want to do. And I think that that
For me, I love change. I love ambiguity, but I also love the like that sick feeling like the it's a shared experience. You know, we're all hostages in our own home and we're all become mates. I don't mind it. Um, and I think it's just an interesting observation of human behaviour to see how and not in a critical way, but just to see how people are in the middle of all of this. And some people are responding great, and some people a little bit terrified, and some people are started off terrified now they're good and you know, it's just, there's no, there's no single best response. And I think I had a lady on my podcast A while ago, Rachel who's a, an expert in grieving and went through a lot of shit herself and, you know, some of the things that she was talking about and some of the things I've kind of researched myself over the years I went, you know, what's really interesting, Australia doesn't realise it the first few weeks, but what many Australians are doing is going through a grieving process, because we've lost there's been a big sense
have lost, we've lost our ability to hug people and connect and socialise and we've lost our job and we've lost money and we've lost our normal. And so there was this for some people anyway, this collective and individual grief happening. And now and just like normal grief has stages. So today is this where you get through the terror and the anger. And then you move towards, you know, acceptance and some kind of positivity and solution focus.
Yeah, I think there's, I feel like as a team, we're kind of on that.
Acceptance and moving forward. I think a lot of people it's like, what is the main three weeks since it's really gone to serious state? what's the what's been the biggest challenge for you recently, Craig? outside of the zoom stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, anything to do with what you were trying to find out in work? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool.
This, okay. I don't know how exciting This is going to be. So
I've just I've really had to come to terms with not being able to go to the gym now this is gonna sound weird. But I'm I'm, you know very public with my issues around training. I'm probably addicted. I'm not addicted But yeah, I am I'm addicted.
Hang on, am I yeah, just just that getting used to not being able to like I've been training every day in a gym pretty much every day in my life since I was 14, that's 42 years. So four decades down the track now you can't go the gym. Now and not only Can't you go the gym, you can't train with you might not only that you can hang out with your mate.
And so that's been a big adjustment for me. And also,
I, this is complete, people don't want to know this, but you know how you know your body? Well, when I'm around when I'm 8990 kilos, I'm a little bit fat. I'm a little bit fatter than I should be. And when I'm at two or three, I look like I'm an endurance runner who shouldn't be in any
Insurance ran out like my head looks like it's about to cave in. And so
when I went into lockdown, I thought I've really got to have a strategy around food and exercise because that is my, that is my kryptonite.
And for those who don't know, I was a morbidly obese kid. I was morbidly obese in my 20s I was 120 odd kilos, in my 20s, I was 90 kilos when I was 14. And I got in great shape, then I got fat for a year or two in my 20s then, you know, I was still training but I was eating all the food.
And, you know, so for me, I just went, I'm going to try I've been experimenting with food. And I, I used to have this recurring experience, which was every afternoon or most afternoons around three or four. I just feel this wave of tiredness and I'm like what, and it's almost you could almost set your clock by it. And
so I thought I was up around 89 kilos. I was bit fat.
thought I've just got to watch my food. So when I'm going to take lunch out, I'm going to skip lunch. still gonna eat a great breakfast, great dinner. Or if I'm really hungry at lunch, I'll eat some protein but no carbs. I'll have you know, some chicken breast and broccoli or something. Whatever something, you know, super exciting like that. But what's happened is in the last three weeks, I've lost four kilos, that afternoon tiredness that I had is 100% gone. So no lethargy, no cognitive kind of cloudiness.
Energy is good mental acuity recall, I'm studying everyday doing my my research and my PhD. I'm doing interviews, I'm being interviewed. I'm writing a nother book. And my brain works great all day and it's only about the food and I just really it's taken me way too long to realise but I just realised that me even though I don't eat a lot of food, there are certain foods that for me,
almost turned my brain into a coma for sure.
Brian into a coma for two or three hours. The Sorry, just around the, you know, the guy that has been training the gyms for 40 years, you could, you could say that that is a view on your identity. I know it's sort of like it's a it's an action that every, I'd say a different response. And so you get a lot of benefits around identifying that person. But this is a challenging time for our identities and the person that we thought we were, and now having to be something else. What do you what do you see in that in relation to the your identity? And, and yeah, that's
also a good question. So I've again, really public with talking about my issues around
insecurity and self esteem growing up and getting a sense of self and self worth and purpose and acceptance through my biceps and my bloody ABS or whatever was going on at the time. I've kind of worked through that. And and within reason I don't I mean, I care what I
Look like but I'm not obsessed with that I just want to be healthy and fit and in good shape and I want my body to work and my brain to work. But I still have, I would say, if I'm being completely honest, I probably have an unnecessarily
or an unnecessary dependence on
getting to the gym. But, you know, having said that, I you know, there's no such thing as a healthy obsession but uh, you know, I try and minimally in that I train every day for an hour sometimes it's 30 minutes.
But it's, it's an ongoing, it's an ongoing battle because we we all get our sense of self from something including me and it's a guy and this is part of the awareness and, you know, stepping into consciousness is trying to know who I am beyond all those things. And so for me, it's been, it's been interesting to
not go near a giant gym, not touch, you know, gym equipment other than a couple of dumbbells and to be okay,
With it, and the longer it goes on, the more okay I am with it. How much of the food stuff do you think is about control for you?
It's less about control and more about how I feel. But that is a good question. I am a control freak about myself. I don't want to call anyone else, because I wanted that because I feel I'm feeling great at the moment. And part of it is because I used to be really heavy and fluctuated. I always feel better when I'm eating better. And when I can't work out is how much of it is the nutrition and the good food and all that sort of thing. And how much of it is playing into I'm in control. I'm doing what I want.
So I think physiologically, it's all about the food psychologically. It's probably a bit about the thing that you're going Hey, I'm doing this I'm disciplined or meeting Well, I'm been proud of me. I've got a little bit of momentum go and look at me. Look at me.
There's a bit of that that happens with all of us. But 100% is, you know, your brain, your brain feeds on glucose. And
the moment that you start to shove starchy carbs into your body in the middle, well, the moment that I do, there's a there's a consequence. So I the need to eat nothing very much during the day,
or next to nothing. And that's how I work best. By the way, this is not a prescription or a programme anyone and this is purely about how my body responds. But that's the thing. I think with all of these, with all of these various things that we need to manage on a personal level, whether that's sleep or whether that's food or whether that's exercise, or whether that's relationships or whether or not that's managing our money, or, you know, studying or I think it's a really good opportunity, this downtime for one of a better term to experiment and see how your body or your brain or your happiness goes, doing different things.
I spoke to a lady the other day who wanted some advice. And anyway, I said, Why don't we doesn't matter what it's about, but her and I together set up a 28 day programme for her. And it was just changing two variables. I said keep everything else the same. change these two things and let's just see how your, your mind and your body respond to this new operating system. Because that's one of the challenges is, you know, there is so much like even you look at Coronavirus, two people get it one's got no symptoms, one's got all the symptoms. You know, what's that about? That's about genetic genetics, that's about biological response. And that's pretty much the same. That's a metaphor for a lot of things in life. We will deal with things differently. But I also think we need to, you know, I'm always talking to people about where you work and how you work. I love the fact that I haven't had a job in inverted commas for 30 years. I'll
The fact that most of my day I spend in bare feet, I love the fact that I get to turn up to talk to when the world's not ending rooms full of people and I absolutely love it. And that's my job as well as I'm doing some good. But I know that my operating system for somebody else would be the worst operating system in the world. There is no best programme, there is no best job. There is no best diet, but there is a best job situation diet programme for you. And it's trying to figure out what that is for you. I think it's advantage advantageous to understand self and, and what's within self like the identity and, and how were you placed in your surroundings and what you want to become and how you're perceived. But it's interesting as you sort of delve deeper into meditation practices, spiritual practices, it's almost like we spend our first years of our lives, working that stuff out trying to you know, have good sales
esteem and all these words relating to self, you know, at the at the bid on the other end, but then it's his point where you like, it's actually this, this layer back or you're stepping back because you're trying to drop all of that or you're trying to understand the stuff that you can't control and everything else within it. What I mean, can we just explore explore the term self self awareness and, and where you think it fits within those two paradigms of you know, self and then high you know, high focus on self. Hmm. Yeah, that's, that's a big conversation. But, you know, so,
from when we're zero, when we're first born to depending on which research to look at five to seven. Generally, we're being really programmed, taught and told and trained and programmed to
live a certain way communicate think a certain way and be a certain person based on certain language and beliefs and
and faith depending on your culture and all of those things, and then we grow up, you know, it's if mum and dad were vegans and mum and dad were hippies and mum and dad were Buddhists and mum and dad lived a very specific way. For example, His dad loves chocolate biscuits, like Yep, for example, in your case, there's a fair chance that by the time you are 1011 1213, you're going to very much be a reflection of your parents, not because that's what you chose. But that's just how you've been trained, and taught and programmed. That's not good or bad. That's just what happens to humans. And so the challenge for us as grownups is to try to figure out in part who we are beyond that programming and that culture and, you know, I went to seven Catholic schools, I went to a Catholic University. I'm not at a Catholic University now, but I had Catholic parents had Catholic friends, we had priests and brothers and nuns at my joint all the time. I was absolutely in shock.
reunited with a particular religion, which means a particular way of behaving and thinking and socialising and believing. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but there was very little chance that by the time Craig was 15, he was going to be an atheist or a Buddhist, or a Muslim or some other kind of
religious devotee because I've been trained and taught and told. And so as we get older, I'm not saying being a Catholics good or bad or being a vegans good or bad or voting Labour's good or bad. I'm saying it's not about any of those things. It's actually about thinking, it's actually about awareness of self in the middle of all of the programming of self at where you start to go, you know,
these my beliefs, or these just mom and dad's beliefs that have become mine over time, do I is this really my values my value system, or is this their value system that I've adopted? And that's not to say that's not to criticise
Anyone, it's to start to think for ourselves. When I started to question some of the things that were happening in front of me because I was probably a very annoying kid, but I remember asking questions. I remember being in church one day and I don't know if anyone's anyone on the call is Catholic. But back in the day, women were not allowed on the altar in, in a Catholic Church, just men, of course. Anyway, one day, and I was maybe 13 were at church, and there was a lady in the middle of the service who was doing something on the altar right up there with the altar boys and the priests. This lady came on and she was a go, Mom, what's that lady doing up there? And she's like, I will know. That's how the pope bloody made a decree or something. I go, What? Because until that point in time, I'd been taught told train and programme that that was a sin. I'm like, well, Mom, it's either a sin or it's not a sin. And then that got me thinking, because I'd been taught and told in absolutes, and then all of a sudden, they're gone. Now. That thing
You believed 13 years that's wrong. It's not a sin anymore. And in my mind, well, let's say they're a fucking scene, or it isn't what's going on here, there's something there's some skullduggery going on. But again, it wasn't about Catholicism, it was about fucking belief. And it was about convention. And it was about thinking, and I started to think I wonder what else I've believed that might be bullshit. And I've always had that, that sense of curiosity around what could I be, if I didn't have this insecurity? What could I be if I didn't have this? What if Craig hapa grew up in a totally different story? with different players in the story? Who would I be and where would I be in? What would I be doing? Because that innate ability or potential, it's there in you, but what limits us is not the potential or ability or genetics or possibilities but rather the thinking that gets in all the programming that gets in the way, and that's a liberation was when we opened
That door. It seems like the cliche or the the obvious thing is that when people you know move out of home or when they're in their 20s they experience these things where it's like, hang on, I'm not aligned with this anymore. What's been something later in life that you've actually identified as something that was an acquired belief from someone else like your parents and not from you?
This is going to be hard to open the door on but I spend a lot of my life being quite religious, not religious as in preaching to people all that's not true. I actually literally preached so I was always a is a hit effect now I need to know. But I went from Catholicism to rafter swinging tambourine banging, Bible thumping, fundamental Christianity for quite a while I was fascinated with All Things Gz and,
and I was very,
very immersed in that and very curious. I was I've always been
Spiritually curious or God curious, whatever that means. I don't know why I just was. And that was a door that I opened and I went down that rabbit hole for quite a while. And there is still things in May because that's been a big part of my programming where even now all these years later, I still feel a level of guilt to say, I don't believe that or I, you know, it's it's to not be because I'd been so programmed. And so even for me, there's still things now where I've walked away from that paradigm of religiosity. And I have my own thoughts and it's not just because these are I'm not living in an echo chamber. It's not confirmation bias. It's not, oh, I just want this to be true, but there's just stuff that that I when you're in a really religious
paradigm, you are absolutely programmed and brainwashed not to question anything. And so when you do question anything, and this is how they control and manipulate
When you do question anything you you are criticised, marginalised rejected, and you are, you know you manipulated in a magnificent way it's actually very clever but very dangerous.
Well, I mean, it's hard to speak the truth of this is true or not so but the belief in God or the Bible or these things. Yeah. Todd, you could challenge both of those if you strongly believe that there is no truth. How is that true? Like it's you could go both ways and so where I feel like you're fitting Craig is like, I can't I'm not certain that it's not true. And I'm not certain that it's not that it is true. So it's like a middle ground that there is a potential for shit that we don't understand. And that he and I think, yeah, gone. Now that's it. Yeah, totally. Got my I got ya like,
not at all. I just think that we feel
The truth is when we come and people don't Well, the truth is there's a big statement, okay, in my opinion, comma. Fact in Craig hoppers opinion for what it's worth, you know, that the whole premise of faith, right, which is what Christianity is based on, it's a faith walk, they say that to walk of faith is faith is believing in something that you can't prove. So if you could prove it, you would have evidence and knowledge. Therefore, you wouldn't need faith. So let's not get too hysterical about something we have no proof of. Feel free to believe whatever you believe, just like all believe what I believe. But if my belief and your belief don't align, that's okay. That's not a reason to hate each other. That's not a reason to create all of this separation in mankind and humanity across the world. That's not a reason to go to war. That's not a reason to you know, that the ironic
most religions seem to have some kind of a foundation in this concept of unconditional love. Yet all religions that I've experienced, perhaps with the exception of Buddhism, is extremely conditional. If you don't join if you don't belong if you don't think like we think talk like we think, have our same beliefs share our ideology, you can't belong, where I'm like,
I've got friends that think nothing like me that have a totally different values and beliefs and perspectives. I love them. If they're my friends, they're my friends. There's something about them I love but they certainly don't need to align with me or reflect my ideology or philosophy or faith or beliefs to be on Team Craig. And I just think that there is so much conflict and so much inconsistency in religion for me anyway, that it puts me off and you know, the it's it's so often where
There's so many holes in so many theological constructs, that you can't even have a conversation with some people because they'll be incredibly defensive and maybe I'll find out one day I'm completely wrong. When I'm sizzling in hell like a fucking sausage on a Bobby may have maybe I'll figure that out. But
no, Lara in the livestream comment she was asking do you think that there's a difference between temporary when it comes to grief, temporary loss versus loss forever?
Yeah, I think I mean, they're live their lives, their levels of everything. unti you know, Slocombe whatever, there's, you know, losing somebody that you love. Well, that's a 10 out of 10 on the scale, isn't it and then there's, you know, losing your job, well, that's not a 10 losing a human being that you love that to 10 and I think everything comes down from there. And you know, it's, again, it's it's all individual
And it's all scale. But yeah, I would think temporary losses a, you know something that we're going to navigate and negotiate emotionally and mentally much easier.
Yeah. And the patient says I could listen to you all day. And so could I, Craig, you know, I really do is join us as well. Three day deal coming to you live from Kenya. Welcome back three day deal coming at you live from Canada.
Death to something like to finish on? Yeah. How's your um, I mean, you know, you, you went through the mortality. Yeah. That's what design is. You're the closest to death. How's that?
That's it. Well, let's fit the tunnels getting DACA boys. Yeah. But maybe it's just a new door opening. Maybe I'm stepping into something else who knows? Or maybe I'll just be warm food. I don't know. For me, I actually love where I am. I am some people.
That and I think they're full of shit. I actually that in some people and of course I like where I'm at. I like
I like my life I like I like what's happening with me. I like it's not where you go in that because I'm still a fuckwit but I just love
I love the Convert. I love this. I love those conversations. You know what I really love about right now is that probably my favourite thing is that so many amazing conversations are happening right now. And despite our physical disconnection, there's still a social emotional disconnect disconnection, which connection I should say, which is amazing. You know, and we've all been forced to find new ways because we weren't meant to isolate. We don't work well in isolation as human beings.
socially, emotionally, physically, we work well together. We need connection and, you know, there's been speaking of health and longevity, you know, that
has been quite a lot of research over the last 30 years really. But just coming to the fore now where, you know, we talk about things like smoking and alcoholism and nutrition and exercise and but one of the key indicators of longevity is social connection. And when people are loved when people love and loved in return, and they feel part of something, be that a tribe, a group, a family, their life expectancy goes up, their immune system is stronger. Their happiness is more prevalent, you know, and so, this this is a really interesting time and that's why I'm getting so many people sending me messages going, God, I just want to give someone a hug. You know, so, so many people want to hug, but in the absence of physical hugs, we have these cyber hugs, you know, everyone now should we finish on the hug. I'm sorry. Okay, there we go. There we go.
Hang on. Put it out. Nice.
In order to
reach Well, you gotta bring back the hug cry because I know I know we like to hug it out. I've seen you hug wrong people. I'd hug anyone right now I'll take the chance on a cuddle.
Let's be honest, it's been a while.
I sign up to the shit you're doing online now. Oh, look, thanks for asking. Joshua.
Look, they can go to my website, which is Craig Halbert. dotnet. That's right, Craig dotnet go to the shop. Starting next Monday night, eight o'clock every Monday and Thursday, eight till probably says eight or nine it definitely won't be nine because I'm fucking extremely verbose. It'll be eight to 930. It's four weeks. It's eight sessions. It's $77 which is about the cheapest online mentoring programme in the whole world. I can guarantee the content will be good, the delivery will be pretty good. I'm not sure about the technology.
Now we'll be fine. So notice
Go ahead. Melissa is handling it. She she's very capable. Thank God for her. Yeah Craig habit dotnet is where all my shit is and follow me at whiteboard lessons on Instagram. Great. Thanks for being on the show. Thanks boys love you guts. To The Daily talk show hide the daily talk show calm is the email address lots of love coming in on the live chat. Perhaps you can join us live 11am and 4pm youtube.com forward slash to the daily talk show if you want to join in on that also, all of these episodes obviously go up on the podcast apps to Apple podcasts reviews, we always appreciate them. Otherwise, we'll see you at four o'clock. Melbourne time everyone have a good one. Say guys, so time