#624 – Nick Capper On Comedy & The Tuxedo Traveller/
- March 1, 2020
Nick Capper – Comedian
Nick is an Australian comedian who has been a part of the Adelaide Fringe Festival, Melbourne Comedy Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival.
In 2019, Nick crowdfunded a trip to travel to London via the worst route and means imaginable – through Asia, across Europe, and finally stepping foot on the cliffs of Dover, all in a tuxedo and tophat.
Alongside Mike Goldstein, Nick Capper hosts The Phone Hacks, where they swap phones and rummage through the dark corners of each other’s private lives.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Pubs and XXXX Gold
– Walking the line with alcohol and comedy
– Knowing what works
– Nick’s crowdfunded Tuxedo Trip to London
– Plane food
– Nick’s grandad’s trip to Africa
– The Phone Hacks
– Status and business culture
– Comedy and putting in the work
Nick Capper’s website: http://www.nickcapper.com/
Nick Capper on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/capperflapper/
The Phone Hacks Podcast: https://www.nearly.com.au/the-phone-hacks/
Email us: email@example.com
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 624 cap is in the studio.
Thank you guys. It's such a pleasure to be here.
Is this a real jersey? Guernsey
Yeah, I look I'm gonna say that like I am I am a seagulls fan love the seagulls but really this I bought this jersey because I just I love it. But also it's just the right temperature for Melbourne.
These it's like a three quarter
three quarter slave is that is that what they were on the ground?
three quarter slave well, years ago years ago that was Yeah, from these kind of era. Yeah, they were this kind of woollen. God would have been hot but yeah,
yeah. Where's seagulls Where's their area?
Yes, man. like okay, man. You guys are real Melbourne not
sure no idea about rugby league
you for you when you grow up.
More a like a tan. An area out of more equal boom. I is that. I'm more Yeah, yeah, right on the border, Queensland, New
South Wales really getting into that that state of origin. territory, right.
Yeah. The pub that we had, they had the kind of the Queensland side and the New South Wales. right on the border, you know? Yeah. And it was awesome. It was great. And the families would get together with old five.
Then you have dinner.
I tell you what, last night, I had three beers, and it got me You know, sometimes I have only a few beers. Yeah. And it can make you hung over. Yeah, I don't understand it. Yeah, I've had 30 bees and woken up fine. Yeah. So I had three and walk out with a fucking killer headache.
Is it a certain time because I've only just started drinking, Nick. Oh, really? So I'm 29 and they started really drinking. I had my first sort of wine a year and a half ago any awkwardness? Yeah. Sorry
about that before
which was the drinking
the drink I didn't know about the drinking thing
that but the yeah so so the whole the whole drink thing but the bees different types of bees affect you more like a you know that if I have a baby I'm going to be an absolute monster
yeah i think that yeah I don't know about you man What do you think about this but now especially I'm a bit of a craft beer snob now so I find if I drink something like a two E's new or VB or I just feel like shit so much worse you know but then also now the craft bees. Sorry, the bees last night.
something nice about that I actually enjoy that.
I find when I eat a burrito I get like five in a row.
Do this to myself again,
forex yeah that's I mean was that the the water of choice up in up where you were? Yeah. What's all this shit? It's It's It's the we remember we walks and we're at the front of the Forex brewery Josh in Brisbane yeah you could smell it could smell it but it's real like that headaches guy that's a very big it's a big bit of
brought Yeah, yeah and people most drink but most people drink for if gold which is like a mid strength watch yeah it's a drink you can read more of it. Yeah, yeah, that's a thing you can all I was a big fan of forex and then a bunch of mates of mines. They all drank for gold. And I was like 21 and I was like, What do you eat? It's doing my dad drinks this like why would you drink forex gold, it's mid strength. And then we went to spread the splendour in the grass. And they gave me like two cases because I was driving. And
after the two cases, I was like, wow, for his gold. I'm ready to draw
the drop off.
Yeah the drink of choice
now that I say it this is a good be because you can drink it all weekend not really have a headache if you drink it full strength you are eliminated is that one of the
biggest issue with drink driving is the headache is that will get
take the driving
state you know, but yeah and now I was hooked and then now it's it's kind of my little guilty pleasure I'll have a forex go up the road. It's so cool. You guys live in Abbotsford because I live here as well. And the lead beta Hotel makeda Yeah, it's like a weed pub night has beans now and everything, but they have all of the ship he is on tap like four weeks ago. Yeah, baby everything any of these Heaven, right, you know, like, what straight Is it on? It's on bridge is a bridge Street. The one where the train goes from the trams on Victoria and
corner. Yeah, it's church. straight. Yeah. With the stats new breweries in the big Yeah. close to that it's on the corner, right. Yeah, it's on the corner. Comedy gig there easier net Harris who's been on your podcast? I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure it was there.
Yeah, it used to be some other name. It was like the unknown, the corner or something or that diner, the Yurika. The unicast look like Fight Club. You know, man, there's a lot of punch ons. A lot of deals done here. Fun fact about pubs in Victoria. I think most look this up. I think there's only two or three that aren't on a corner. In really Invicta in Melbourne.
You soften the fun fact that I think maybe macing can you look at it? Yeah.
And I know one of them. At least he's on Victoria straight. Oh, and it's as you think as you go down on the right. Oh, no, sorry. Sorry, john. You're on Johnston straight. Yeah, it's on the right. And so yeah, it doesn't. It's not on the corner. Only few in Melbourne, but it was back in the day when they built these things. These were that It was the place to go there was the, you know the pub on the
corner Do you think Geez, fuck palms or did they bring a bit of charm?
Fuck hubs, you
know, good for people like drinking random you know, like you
know as for the economy they grind, you know,
survival of the fittest in my opinion.
I think they actually keep the what's the Veneto club going to lane at this point you know, all the establishment been there for years of telling book started anyway, they there's pretty much the majority of the joint is a pokies area. Yeah, and it's open till 3am every single night. Yeah, you're not open to 3am every single night unless you've got addicts in
our man. Yeah. Welcome, stranger. That is the craziest place on earth with that CD. Once you start your Hokies where wanna town yet con and new Chinatown? its own book. Yeah. Yeah, and it is actually Salut. Like I went in there once because I had, like $100 note for once in my life to get a taxi and my phone gone flat so I couldn't get Uber from a geek. There's this thing in comedy where you're at the end, they always give you a hand check with a rolled up note. You know what a man that's like the thing. I know what you're getting. You know what? No.
Boy, if I walked away with the wall, I thought that node felt definitely felt.
And I thought my work was worth more. Yeah, yeah, but wanting to get some change. Water. I'll just play the pokies. And there was like this lady shouting at the machine. Everyone's just sitting there staring at the screen. I was like, Oh my God, I've gotta get out of here, you know, but I couldn't help but think this is the time where this is the night when my wife turned around, you know? Thinking about Yeah, I'll be telling my friends. What if my phone was charged and I couldn't get it. Then I wouldn't be sitting on this pile of money.
Did you lose 100? Yeah, I lost $20
you drive for
690 bucks in a machine wow in Chinatown, wow we were eating dumplings at the Shanghai dumpling house and then through Melbourne
to wear this episode yeah yeah turn it on drive around Melbourne
yeah walk past gaylords the Indian restaurant sales line and then just snuck into this dodgy old pokies joint. I think
I the one
the hat The worst thing was were two young piece units that come into this joint, put out five bucks in or two bucks what it was and hit a jackpot whatever it was. And all these people around is so pissed because I've been in there for hours and not eating anything and we're just like dancing we pull the cash at.
We blow it all that. To be fair, though. I don't know. pokies aren't something you can train for.
It was not Family taken away I've tried for years rule my family everything
you sort of feel this is psychology like when I mean Vegas that's really the only time I end up yeah gambling because you just walking past it when you go getting to drink it like I should go the one thing I'm worried about is I was a fat kid I've always had to worry about my weight yeah this could this is a huge trap this count calories are terrible man you would be looking at the rip disco ever if I didn't drink
steady decline it is cuz I appreciate like I would rip the hell out of you years ago like y'all Why aren't you drinking whatever but now I am like stay off it like just stay off that will do it every now and then you know but yeah cuz yet calories they will come live low come live runs in
at you. Cuz lame. I was telling us that he had how many standard drinks and awake 5656 which is more than
a bottle. Die and it was for four walls in a bottle.
I didn't get up to that bit. Really? Yeah, but
that was good. Or whether that was I have a feeling it was being honest. I mean, what was the most amount that you were having? Do you think before you realise I you know, I'm going to dial this back?
Oh, man, well, that's a thing in comedy. You don't, it creeps up on you because you you go to a gig you get two or three free drinks. And you probably get more because the bar the bar people love you. They're like, Oh, well, you know, well, I love me because I'm, I never have a bad geek. You know. I'm always crushing me. To be honest, it's been hard not to take up, you know, offers to go into bars or manage them. Or married you know, barman's daughters things you know, they've Yeah. But yeah, they offer you a few drinks. And then you'll go on because comedians were all depressed. So club drinking set, we're like, oh, we'll go for one or two more. Because you got these cash in your pocket and spit you never get totally off your chops you do maybe once or twice a week, maybe once a week. Yeah. Then the
rest a drink or like do they say little Kappa? You can only have a beer or could you get like a espresso martinis? That was cold. Oh yeah, you can get it you get desperate. Have you ever done
that? Look at you like you're a banker though. You're
you're kind of pushing the friendship as well because they're like $20
on their drink, they are too. They've got like, our basic spirit or whatever. But man, I have taken the piece. One, one place in Baptists the dude's like, I am so stoked to have you guys here. You can have whatever you like. Just keep going and at four in the morning when I'd had like my 100 drink the guys like no, I'm
gonna have to buy this one.
Yeah, it was hot. I felt real bad about that.
I watched CEO Vaughn comedian Do a sit and he's on mushrooms. And it's his his real bizarre and it was really funny. Like being How do you go actually being intoxicated? Yeah is a four B's you're starting to feel it. Yeah. What's the limit for you? What?
Will after the man Yeah, you don't know. To finish off your question as well is that yeah, it's never a problem really. So so you never really off your face drunk to people and you're not really making any terrible decisions so people are like, I made a fucking dollar back. Yeah, sure you just kind of walking home pretty happy after five beers nearly every night. That adds up to we're 25 points awake. Yeah, or maybe even more so and then you'll have one big blinder with you make
25 how many standard drinks and they'll be 2.5
lemo numbers. Yeah, I was definitely up at Lima.
Lima has a profound
boy I would hate to be lame.
Probably rolling in cash, but yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah. And the the drinking thing is weird because I stopped drinking for a while a couple of years ago. And I felt like so much more clarity, and I was so much better at stand up, you had a lot of clarity. But also, you kind of don't want to lose the nice guy in you. You don't want to lose that kind of bit of a lyric. And while you're a comedian in the first place, that's because you like having a few beers with your friends. But yeah, man, you really once you have more than two, or maybe more than one, you're walking the line. Because if you screw up one word on a punch line, it can change your set people because that could be like a real a good joke that turns everything around for you. Yeah, and, or, and some people give up on you at that stage, really or sometimes It's a big build up to that joke and then when you screw it up then the crowd like why did they say that?
That's not the outcome you want from a punch line is it exactly
exactly but what keeps you really mean about you know waiting to go on all or drinking on the job? Is that some nights have gone on absolutely blind and destroyed yeah could you feel this you know like yeah fuck you may hear I'm fucking guy made and then you'll talk brutally honestly like I'm fucking blind and I don't give a shit about any new people you're all pigs domain yes yeah finally guys telling the truth we have pigs
I reckon I found your facebook facebook video of yours probably three years ago. Yeah, I'm showing my brothers like fucking hilarious. You telling some real? That like? It's okay. Do you remember the video That. I think it was like probably one year from what I could say that went viral and Facebook. Are you telling this? You're telling a story about
your was that I had a. I had one that was really puzzling. I don't know what went viral was.
Funny. It's a riddle.
Riddle guy was just confused. Yeah, I was just confused. A lot of people really well, a lot of people say to me off the shows, they're like, man, the greatest thing about watching you is it looks like you don't know what you're doing. Yeah. Yes, that is my plan. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing.
At that point. I legit thought that you were just that person that was doing the confused riddle or whatever, you know. Yeah. But then you go, okay, you know, comedians, that what people say to you, I
would also I am confused.
I'm confused. Now, to be honest. It was it was one where I was having to shave and I was talking about electric razor.
Now this razor
there was another one I was talking about. Like, I might be an adult. yes yeah
it's not it now because I don't think it's a it's not like you're not not
it's not as I got in trouble the other day because we had someone on and she'd done comedy before and I sort of asked if she could do a bit
when it's not a conducive sort of i know i know that is really hard yeah yeah yeah but I think I was just saying
I might want to always because like there was a lot of people go and don't be a dog Come and have a beer or whatever. But always kinda like against that I was like said to my coming ever be don't go to the gym. Don't go to the gym coming over be and then he got to the pub to have a beer with me and I'm like, Man, you should have gone to the gym, your dog. Your dog in yourself. Like you weren't the dog but now you're the dog. And now you the dog again. Even double dog
People so much that they liked it yeah
is the first confused human that I'd
gotten around a lot
so I'm incredibly lazy so I think I would have been saying that it's a bit gone you know what fuck it I'll just put it up anyway
I mean that's what the shit that works Yeah, yeah yeah do you know what's gonna work like in the videos or the
stand up you do never know you never know what's gonna work it's really trouble Yeah, I got my special coming out soon I opened with this joker I just go. Does anyone block for arrow shares? Have good for arrow shares. Ferriero share more look for arrow. Oh, yeah. And I don't know why but it gets a laugh every time and now that's part of the joke me being confused on why does that get a parking lot? My desk. I'm writing I'm writing about political philosophical stuff for arrow. Yeah. gets a lot of I think I said at one No, I probably went on had it for you bees. You know, I was just because sometimes when you do stand up, you're like, I don't I don't want to be here. I have no jokes. I'm not funny. Why am I here and then you go up there and go, yeah. Ferriero. Yeah, and then it gets a laugh at me like, I'm back in the game. Yeah, so, so that Yeah, so you never know what's going to work with stuff. I, I used to have times where I'd upload things, maybe upload things at this time or that time or now I do not care. I'll put something up at two in the morning. It doesn't matter if it's good. People will like it. Or people want it lucky.
You know, I've seen you on social media wearing a tuxedo a lot.
Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah. What Why do you Why do you wear a tuxedo? Oh, it's a weird story. But basically, the great podcast, the little dumb dumb club did some shit without doing some shows in England. And they said, some people were riding going, Hey, because I'm always broke. So they said, Is there any way we can crowd fund capital? Come over Just Just as a joke, and we brought up on the podcast like, oh, imagine if I went the worst way possible. And you know, because because it would have to be so cheap because I'm not going to crowdfund much money, you know what, $500 or something like that. And then people started writing like, yeah, where can I put this money in? But I want to, I want to do this trip. And so we're like, okay, we send a there was a fan who was a travel agent, a great guy who works for flight Centre in Perth. And he said, I'll put together a raft for you. And he said, the worst route possible. We've got this much time like five days. So yeah, he said, he said, your flight acquire lumber on Malaysian. And then you'll fly to Beijing and get a taxi in Beijing, to a train station in Beijing, get a train to Shanghai. And this is all non stop. Right? And so get a train to Shanghai fly from Shanghai to Poland. Then flawless grind. Went to Poland a couple years ago. I was on the air for like two or three hours. It was just it was just ripped dudes in sports clothes like looking angry, like chicks in sports clothes with too much makeup. Like the Gold Coast. Yeah, so I flew from there to Serbia. had one not in Serbia, we did a gig there, which went terribly. And then we had Soviet don't even get local references.
Even though it's funny, so
yeah, so then I flew from there to Austria caught three trains through Germany to France, then caught a boat from France to to England, and then caught a train from England yet well, from Dover to London. Yeah,
the tuxedo beer.
So the bloke centre was it's going to cost three and a half grand. Okay, one way, no both ways.
Well, I end up doing a return trip. After this just flew back
and I was already bought
it got so many points from doing
business cards. Oh cool. I'm a legend honour. Oh my last flight ever should be good I have it um yeah but then I said well that's definitely not we're not gonna make it happen I said look if it gets to that much money if we rise through enough brand I'll do the whole thing in a tuxedo and people will like pit that really triggered paper like yeah let's do this let's make this fucking prick do this. And then if you put in $50 you could give me missions. So yeah, great comedian grip like you guys should get him on actually he's real funny. He He gave me $50 as long as I was wearing makeup, like the whole time. So not only am in a tuxedo with tiles, right. So every airport every was just staring at me this this Chinese lady just openly took a photo of me while I was applying my makeup yeah so it was just you by yourself yeah I was by myself yes I met up with a mate in in France just for the last day we caught the boat together and he filmed me the film this great film it's on my Instagram and all that kind of thing but yeah it is a crazy situation like sorry I just had no birthday
yet we'll do that goes my
mom good he can't gozman yeah I to burritos before I can barely talk show is going to be geek
Yeah, but then and then I came back and then we that we did that we're doing a show in Newcastle. So I said all right. I'll go from from Melbourne to Newcastle. The worst way possible. Yeah. So tracked a motorbike boss. Yeah, people just reached out they said Man, I got a tractor in My, my yard if you want to drive that for like 10 K's I said Yeah, no problem.
Yes. Do you think you're better travelling now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was I'm pretty resilient motor. I'm on sleeping on couches and things I had to sleep on a catching da bar on this farmers house and it was full of cat hair. And so I just had cat hair all over the tuxedo and we got blind drunk. And there was a big pharma cold killer. And he passed out next to me and was snoring so loud. And it was the coldest night of my life and I'm just sleeping in cat hair. So I didn't know what to do. I couldn't sleep. So he had baby driver on DVD. So just watch that. Yeah, so yeah, man. I definitely, I think something like that you become more resilient, but also you do appreciate the creature comforts. But yeah, whenever I stay in a hotel with my girlfriend or something, we stayed in this pretty average hotel and bhandar recently, and it was bliss. Yeah, it was like wow, TV. Bed sick. I'm a king.
What was the feeling through that whole journey? And how many hours did it end up taking to get to? London was the destination year I forget
how? Because it was such a blur. Because it was non stop to Serbia then we I think I stayed Yeah, I stayed one night there in Serbia. And then I stayed one night in Strasburg. But all the rest of the time I was, I was travelling, so it was weird. But before I got to Serbia, I thought I'd been I'd felt like a just 110 hour journey. That really it had been something like 36 hours or 48 hours and how did you feel our man I felt wrecked. there's a there's a there's if you look back through my Instagram photos is there's a comparisons photo when I first started to when I was in Serbia, and my makeups all over the place. And yeah, I just look like yeah, someone shot me with the makeup gun. airport and I was tired of people staring at me. Everyone was staring at me and I was tired of it. It was four in the morning. I'm in this airport in Belgrade and people are just staring at me while I'm trying to put on this makeup still got my teeth feel furry.
I could have brought a toothbrush. But you do have carry out Did you have any? What's the luggage?
Yeah, I had to be the luggage you know, to annotate with me and stuff. But because I when I got to England, I was planning to get out of the tuxedo. I could wait to be honest. But I am. You taste just feel furry and your body doesn't feel good. You know, we're talking about calories because once you eating air, air, aeroplane meals, non stop, it feels weird. Like it's all carbs and I read up I like went into research about aeroplane food. They've got to put a lot of stuff into it so it doesn't dry out in the air. And there's some chemical they've put in it as well to make people feel relaxed. Really? Yeah, yeah. So it's like, and plus, it's got to go through really strict standards. So it's got to be ultra processed. Because if one meal is shit, and someone gets sick, it could kill everyone on the plane. So it has to be sterilised, you know what I mean? Like it has to be. So you feel all those chemicals, meaning you feel, and you normally feel
them? Or is it just because you read a fucking BuzzFeed Article of the day? You
know, that's why I read up about it afterwards, because I'm like, Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel depressed? Like, I don't know when you know, you've got friends, and they're eating microwave dinners all the time. You're like, why am I depressed? And you're like, yeah, I'm good. You haven't eaten fresh food. This is how I feel about this is why I got off the microwave meals was because it is something there is something like prisoner like about it. You know, man, yeah. And I think also it's like making your bed or something like that. When you make a meal. you're preparing it. It's satisfaction. When you make the meal. It helps you process You've got a goal and an ending. And that helps with the mental health. And when you put when something's too easy, you're like, this isn't going to go good for me in the long run.
You feel that way with comedy?
Of course. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know, if you rest on your laurels that's the word The moment you think you're good. You're bad. gotta think you shadle it on
Gemini conversations with people sitting next to you.
Yeah, I had a had a few things. It was some weird situations. I remember. I don't know, Europe was weird, because there's a language barrier. So people just don't really come. The one lady came up, like a lot of people came up to me in China and said, Are you an artist? And I was like, Yeah, well, great. Have you seen the depth of my stand up? Especially Michelangelo, one of the turtles? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And this lady came up to me in Belgrade and said, Are you a composer? Right. And I was like, yeah. I am eight in the morning and I've got a coffee in my hand a big time to go conducted that might know and I am show yeah yeah live the dream of the composer. minding their tails is what the Lord of that insanity but yet funnily enough the coolest one and that's kind of what I'm doing my whole Comedy Festival show bad it is I I fully like maybe you guys should do some I don't know this is already an adventure this what you guys are doing now Tommy's got an adventure club which is turned out to be an epic fail yeah
listen as a beginning an end Really? The Book Club yeah
that's an ongoing club clubs only anyway oh man I laughed hard about this when you guys were pitching these ideas are
happening because I kind of want the book club to get out of control.
10 books 10 books in you've read five pages of age.
What is out of control when the book club
yeah I don't know someone walking in with a Monster Energy Drink shirt or whatever.
Fuck you. I reckon I reckon Tolstoy Is it a masterpiece I
castaways and shit all in Brawl and meanwhile the
watching trippin at Hulu is incredible
that's why I wanted to go but you know it's like when that all happened at the dots TV chips years ago like I was like man that is so cool. And meanwhile everyone's just sitting at ifl with me to drink beers apart going just keep walking your dog. Meanwhile the dog in there
Fuck you. Are you a sports guy? Do you like sport?
Man I didn't like I didn't because in New South Wales, your other sports or your art? Yeah, that's kinda New South Wales and Queensland, but in Melbourne, it can be both things. That's awesome.
Yeah, I was like wow, Tim Rodgers is in the AFL hardcore. You know what I mean? Is this why you wear the jersey? Like, is that part of the whole thing? What is it called a Guernsey
Guernsey Guernsey I don't know I always I've always mixed him up man. What do you what do you call it? No one's pulled me up.
The guy to pull up now.
I can tell this is annoying.
The jerseys good.
So, so you are an art and sports guy.
Yeah, but I wouldn't say totally committed sports because I put out first like I'm unfortunately I'm a huge frio fan as well. But there's not many free games I can you know why you go for a birthday? Well, I it's a long stuff mike mike my daddy's not. He was not a spoiler. Watch rugby, but that was, you know, the Wallabies and that's it because he's ramping now it's rugby league. Yeah, yeah, it's a difference. rugby's like scrums, where you where you just there's constant play of the bowl. So when you run the ball and you get hit that that bowl can be taken away from me by the opposing team. Whereas like in rugby league, you just get five runs of the bowl, then you have to kick it to the NRL Yeah, that's in RL Red Lake.
Okay. The big one.
The right this is state. Yeah, rather is lazy. marone is multiple teams within the state.
Technically, yeah, league is rugby. That's that's multiple teams within the state. Yeah, that's mostly New South Wales, Queensland, you know, and Melbourne storm, which are a great team, the volcom warriors. That's it each city or suburb like suburbs of Sydney, you know?
Fremantle How did you end up with the ifl going for Fremantle.
Uh, I might my grandma's from Fremantle. Okay. Yeah. Which is which is weird, but my dad was on that weird. Yeah, I don't know it's kind of weird in a way because I guess that she went on around the world trip when she was young in a tuxedo. But she was in the newspaper because it was unheard of a girl her age to go by themselves around the world. And then she met my, my grandparents Zambia, really my dad was born in Zambia, which did she I don't know,
Africa. Yeah, yeah. She was like the original. Is it Jessica? What Watson? Yeah, yeah. But she didn't. She's
about she was about she jumped on a ship. She said you could just kind of see it was pretty lacklustre back then. You could just hitch a ride with a freight container. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So she said it was awesome. She was just her and another girl on this boat. just helping out the sale is every now and then. Just hitching a ride.
Yeah, yeah, that's Yeah,
yeah. How many countries did she go to I forget she told me but it was always such a blur. I kind of didn't find this out till she had dementia. So it was a bit of a I never saw the order, but I think she travelled around Australia for a bit. Then she went to England and Africa. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. And it's weird because my granddad, he came back from the war. And he hated England because he only had good and he had bad memories of England because he was there during Churchill. He told me all kinds of stories like one time he said that the Germans were bombing. And he said that everyone Churchill said everyone get t shelters. And then he's dad was just tired of going to the shelter. So he said, fuck it. We're going to die just let's just join our beds. So you can see what my granddad want to get out of Africa. And he, he came back from the war he got a job in a bank or something. First day job in the bank. He got his bowler hat, like those British bald hats and I'm bet umbrella he got on the train is like 20 and he saw, like all these guys that were like 50 with bowler hats and umbrellas, just looking so sad. And he's like, Fuck, that's, that's gonna be me. That's gonna be me. And then he looked above them and there was a poster. Do you want to go to Africa? Because, you know, the British had colonised kind of Africa back then or whatever. And then he got off the train rang the number on the poster. And they said, Yeah, well, there's a boat leaving for Africa in two days, bring 10 pounds and you're on. So yeah, he said he went from war torn England sheet whether he got on the boat and he won this gambling kind of I was poker or something. And that set him up for the rest of the
park. He said no one yeah. Yeah, and your family was built on the
Exactly, man. Yeah, gambling, he didn't drink.
That's what we do. And then he got to you got to Zanzibar and he said it was amazing. There was just this absolutely golden beach walk straight into a bank when my grandma was the secretary, and he got a job. And they said, All right, well, we don't have a house for yet. So we're just putting on a resort on the beach. So he's just eating breakfast. from war torn England to eating breakfast on the beach, in Africa, going this is the best thing ever he had. He said he had to pinch himself.
What was the catch? No catch.
No, it was that he was well, he I guess the catch that he was in the war
that were trying to what was the purpose of getting people to Africa,
populating the British colonisation, all that kind, terrible stuff. Have you guys seen that? Richard a grant movie, wah wah. No, it's quite. It's awesome. Because he's from he's from Africa. And you know, his dad was in the British colonies. And it was just paradise. They just moved all these British delegates over, you know, paid them a fair bit of money, they all had servants. And basically, they all just were alcoholics because they're all bored. They weren't in England, they've never any British, you know, cups of tea or whatever, you know, and the weather was great. They were all too hot. So just got all drank all got drunk and just banged each other's wives. That was kind of it was this weird in this community? And oh, yeah, so um, another my grandpa was part of that. But my dad said it got close, you know? Was he dead born? Yeah, he was born in in Indiana by Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was the first. He was one of the first white children born like that was born in that area. So he was there was a Sultan, like the
Royals and the Sultan of Brunei.
What is it? What's the official definition of assumption? Prince but not
some royalty. Yeah.
Oh man, we haven't gone to Mason. You feel bad? Yeah. It's so cool though because I I've never really seen Mason before. Yeah, but it's so cool to look over and kind of see him laughing I'm like, Oh, that's cool. This guy. You know he's kind of seeing the war is kind of like 600 hours of sitting 30 days. I thought you would gather what he would be an alcoholic.
It's actually the opposite fitness fanatics. He has to
related to worry.
No, no, I have met him twice though.
The famous war Kappa
I used to work at channel 31. And we just found out what assault and
that was that you guys really bounce around? Is not and I first threw me I was like, Fuck, I gotta get back on track. And I was like, No, no, no.
I hope that every time someone says well You back for Fremantle, you tell the whole story
what was the salt? What's this?
Say? It's pretty much a roll up but it comes from the it's an Arabic man which means strength, authority and rulership. Yes. Yeah. Because I think there was there was Arab rule in that province as well. Yeah.
Yeah. Apparently My dad was kissed by the salt. Really? Yeah, yeah. So my What is that? Is that like a blessing? Like a blessing? Yeah, just like sexual harassment.
He was kissed many times by the salt.
Is that a thing? You like that? You just sing the song The songs kissing you? Yeah, she was
my grandma. Even when she had dementia. You're always talked about it pushing you in the pram and, and you always had to back to the Sultan. Wow. And apparently the Sultan, you know she bad to the Sultan and then he he looked in the premiere of courses.
Yeah, it's a baby. I'm imagining.
This kind of cute
babies. My dad was the first gay man in
the Salton yet he had a steady relationship for a while. Pretty forward thinking. Considering homosexuality was a sin. It was very controversial. the Salton site was were very angry.
Like a white guy serious
isn't it? You talk you go pretty meta, like I like that you're pointing out things. It's good is that you've got a podcast called the phone hacks is that do you think podcasting makes you go more meta with things or is it the comedy background? Oh man it is it podcasts are like a weird release. I don't know why. Because it's recorded like on stand up. I'm wise what you're I'm saying I don't want to offend anyone or, or say anything wrong, but it's weird because a podcast is forever. And you do listen back to it. Anyone can listen back to it anytime you feel Loser. Yeah, you guys feel that?
Yeah, cuz I think it's just like, it's like a conversation you should. If you're talking to a mate, you know, and that's what we try. I've tried to create the conversations you end up having with a friend where you don't you're not thinking about, yeah, well, how am I sounding What?
volume game? It's not my, it's not like I'm doing this one thing. And then they're going to judge us on that thing. It's like, you listen to hours and hours, and you might say stuff or trip up. But in the long run, I think that if we're just doing the thing that we believe is us, then we say
it's hard to get a sense of who you are just from watching you stand out, and that's the only thing you want. Yeah, yeah. I that's what I find that's puzzling about you guys, is that you? Sometimes I get asked to go on a lot of podcasts and I don't know the people. And you know, that's why I asked to be on this one because sometimes you'll get on there and these people aren't comedians or anything, but you can tell it not good at podcast conversation. You know, and, and I feel so we get guests on from the radio. And you can tell straight away that they're good at it. Like they're and they're incredibly talented like Cameron James. He's not from the radio or anything is a great comedian, but he's one of my favourite podcast because you can fill the gaps and he's got this laughter and it keeps it rolling. You know, it's really, really great, you know, and I found, I'm not as good as him as that, or I'm not as good as someone else, like lame. I was good at it as well, you know. But I find that when I'm on a podcast with a inexperienced, that's what I've got to do. I'm going to fill the gaps are going to be there and I got to keep it rolling. And it's cool. And that's what puzzled me about you guys is you guys aren't from any kind of radio background, but you guys seem to manage to keep it rolling really good, which is a real good skill. Yeah, probably cuz Yeah. You've been doing it for 600 longer than me. Yeah. Should we ask advice from you guys? And that's, that's what that's what's cool. And also when you listen back to episodes and hackie how you can be better now. But also sometimes you have weed awakenings, like I'm a big fan of the TV show the watchman. And I'm obsessed with it. And so I listened to the watchman podcast, and it's got the director of the watchman and the director of the Chernobyl series. So these guys have never done podcast before. They are directors. They, they make incredible TV. But I listen to the podcast and I was like, why is this so good? And not only because it's about a subject that I like, but it's also these guys have not said arm or are like, or anything like that. Through the whole podcast. These guys are consummate professionals. I don't know where they learned to talk like that. I'm like, oh, man, that's you know, and it was kind of disheartening in a way cuz the last
podcast he listened back to yourself, you're saying
Yeah, yeah, so some episodes Yes. other episodes now. I'm like, I hate this. And then sometimes it's a real good episode, but I find that I I know what I'm doing so I'm like maybe I'm sucking up to the guests too much. You know? So I don't I don't like it what other towns How do you know if you're sucking up to the guests?
You can hear me rub my hands together. Please love me. Whisper loving me in between a sense
yeah, just just kind of like I don't know like I'm I'm too interested in them. I'm sorry. Yeah, Authenticity, but when it lacks authenticity like yeah i'm not i'm not authentic about they my interest Do you think that the audience would know that or is it just because you know that you're not interested? You're like, man, I sound interested. I'm not interested. Yeah. Yeah, I think all I know that and that's bad enough for me. You know, maybe some people pick it up. But it is weed and also on podcast because we find hacks we put so much work into it. We've got a right hacks. We've got to, you know, recap the last hacks we've we've got to come up with new and inventive ways to trick each other, and something for the guest. But also now that it's got this flow on, we kind of people were saying to me, man, I don't know what happened to the podcast, but it sounds so much better now. You guys must have put a lot more work into it. And I'm like, we have never put less work into it.
Time and time doing it?
Yeah, I think so. I think Yeah, yeah. So you never know. And then maybe there's some episodes where we're like, man, we're at the top of our game with this one. hasn't got neither the Regina and yeah, we had a great guest this week. We had Dan Middleton. But we Mike was feeling sick. And we're doing it on the stage before a live show. So we don't have an audience here. So we're just looking at this crowd with no people. Just man that burrito. That's full burrito. But we're looking at the stage with you Yeah, there's no people in the seats. And we're sitting behind the stalls. And the I just felt like the dynamic was off or something. It was still a great episode. But people love this episode. Like, man, that was such a great episode. And I was like, oh, wow, that's so cool. Like, why? Why do you like, do you guys get that with some airport
Tommy always talks about, it's like, whatever we feel isn't the reality of what audience members think. Yeah,
yeah. And so, you know, it could be tied off the back of a weekend. Yeah. And feel like this show wasn't great. And then people it really resonated with him. So I've stopped listening to myself as intently in that way. Yeah, Mike, but there is a there's a there's a 600 in that sort of, I'm surprised it's because I haven't I don't put as much thought into it like we did in the first hundred or 200 300. Yeah, then just becomes the muscles grown. Yeah. And so yeah, it's a weird creative ideas, though. I like that. Like, like you said, I don't know what a joke what jokes gonna work. Yeah, so that's a beta. That's a belief that you have. Yeah. Based on your experience of shit landing that you like, for sure.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah, it is a weed commerce, though you gotta work hard or you got to put some effort into some type of thing. And then and then those flukes will come out. Yeah, you know, it's kind of like it is kind of like you make your own luck. Yeah, you kind of gotta be working hard at one thing to make that the I've, I've written shows I've written like, an hour of material. wondered why it's not working. And then all the sudden right at the last minute, I'll just write 15 minutes. It's unrelated. That will kill you know, and I'll have to throw all of that stuff and on it's disheartening. I'll none of that stuff will ever get air again that whole hour.
I like the idea of it's doing a documentary just The story of the pharaoh shed your Netflix
back enemy so that'd be so cool man like I love those netflix documentaries where they're all so in depth like the Ferrero Rocher joke came around this and then it's always got some dude who's like the King of Comedy like some God sunglasses covered in gold is like it was a dynasty
comedy was in a bad place then this dynasty happened and it's just got sequentially hates it comedians talking like it was extended. People didn't know what to do. It was a crazy time document
could get like, I don't know when troll dolls came out like they explode
like that. That was an event that happened for a month.
What is it 20 to one day grind celebrities to be like it like just talking to it like surely these fuckers don't have an opinion on it.
Yeah, sure Gilligan's Island. Yeah. Cool.
Did you watch it? Yeah,
I watched it. I was walking past the TV once. And my dad said, let's turn into something else. It was a dynasty.
We actually I had a video one of the only projects that I never got paid for, which I like I was meant to get paid for. I was filming.
Wow, that's crazy.
And so, you know, I was filming it was for this pharmaceutical company, and they had a doctor on
Yeah, yeah. And so they, they got this doctor on. And they he was talking about why this was the product was great. But he just kept making up stories about it was like for a specific product that to help kids you know, who've had like, cuts or injuries or whatever. And so he would just be like, you just press record or whatever he's like, yeah, so I was at a park the other day and this kid Scratch went over and put the cream on and the mom couldn't believe it was like
First of all, like whoa, stay away from
and so the thing was, but then would be like, then what the marketing person's like, Hey, Doc can we do like a version that maybe even more like like a little bit more truthful? Yeah, you
got a medicine for bullshitter it
takes the kid back to a husband and say, Man this look bad news is that kid got filled up in a park. Good. He's he's he's healed.
So weird though, because it was like, we just saw this doctor just fucking reeling. And at the end the clients like, I send them the edits. Like I they say, it looks like he's acting like Yeah, he was he told the story. Like,
like, like a real doctor. Oh my God.
He said he found the cream. At the bottom of the run from a boulder
you go to medical school to do that.
So really yeah it is it is decided because you guys maybe maybe nothing will ever come out of your podcast maybe nothing will happen but it will always lead you to something else yeah you know all it's all
we're all gonna die
like on a campfire under the bridge like capitalism right?
That's its philosophical and date take it further. Yeah. What do you think like in terms of that taking you somewhere?
Yeah that's a thing I remember one might know a great comedian jack crews. We were writing the sketch for Melbourne Fringe once rewrote this entire series kinda was kind of based on True Detective, but it was about a drug Coming from a roof in a ABC shop where I used to work like in Westfield's
of so around OBC shops no
no I was on I was in one of the last ones chatswood in Sydney
there's one in bondo junction do they only the sales ago was it
yeah yeah yeah they can't they just on now yeah
yeah what was it
I was awesome so good work yeah and we just had all ladies coming in and asking you you know do you have this I don't know season of of this detective series Is that
how you got the comedy bit I base it is
just ranked by storm and you still know that bloke here that looks after the whole channel
you remember capper working chatswood he he does
get slot even after four corners
that bananas in Pyjamas toy from my kid that
but yeah, he Yeah, so it's a drip. So there was a drip, drip and we're trying to find anyway, we put so much work into the show. And every now and then we go on these little riffs and go, well that that sketch would be funny or whatever and then we started rehearsing it and everything like that. And we had all these weed sketches that we kind of really wanted to do. And then one day, I was thinking I was like, This isn't working as a whole thing. And then we both realised fuck we're going to throw this whole thing out and just do the sketches that we want to do. But then you go fuck that is so disheartening like this fucking book written basically. Yeah, they're never gonna use bigger are we wouldn't have got to forever show
crumpled up the pipe. It kinda look like
one of us is gonna have that this job.
Exactly, I wouldn't have got to that destination.
Yeah, yeah, with with the app, and the show we love we enjoy. It was one of the best things we ever wrote. But without writing the head, fucking huge thing. We weren't going to use it. You know, it's Dr. Jason Fox who have had on the show a few times. He talks about the second simplicity. And so it's like, you have an idea at the start. And that's like the first simple version. Then you have all of the complexity of like trying to work out ideas like what you're talking about. But then there's the second simplicity, which is you look at an idea and like, well, that's fucking super simple, right? It's really effective. But so all of the other complexity. Yeah, you get into that. I feel like that is comedy and otherwise it is me. Yeah, it is. It is and it's kind of luck. I don't know how heavy you guys edited or anything like that? Nothing. Nothing. Yeah, exactly. So that's why I want to say this, right. You're testing the waters.
Yeah, we haven't had any we had we had one where the last 30 seconds of an episode. One of the guests said a joke about his fiance he thought was funny and then she didn't like it and he said hey man, just to save the marriage you
sort of felt like where the
marriage saving business? Yeah yeah.
Only if we get to meet your wife
Yes. Do you guys find that as well like sometimes you get to open on the podcast and you your partners have pulled you out?
Early guys Yeah,
why is your friend doesn't listen anymore
to say easier? Yeah, well, I've got wives and you know, that's it like a scenario out of the day.
And I also don't like being there. Wow. braze listening so that limits things yeah. Um, but even like when we have a good episode, I'll be like, you gotta listen to this one yeah into this one. But then sure enough she's like I used to listen to show I didn't listen to this one. But listen to this one and you were saying this. The ones I given normally like the guests were they're great and we don't say anything. Yeah, syndicators
wrote a book, Red Hot Chilli Peppers. And flea wrote a book also later on, but he never read Anthony's book. The problem was, he couldn't read the shit that he was saying, because he saw it differently. The same shit that was going on but it just wasn't his experience. He's like, I didn't read the book because I couldn't read it. It's a version of partners listening to the bullshit were spinning and got all those fucking they didn't have because I do the same to my wife when she's telling us there I'm just like, that's not what happened. Down the data. Yeah. It's a funny it's Yeah, but it's weird. We do. It has been I think you build a filter. No, I do not just gonna be you. Yeah, just randomly be a racist on stage. Yeah,
If you've got filters and you understand
also not like filters as it is like okay, what is your like? We I think we think we talk through our thoughts. And
yeah, like I think you'd be caught out if you're a piece of shit exactly
the idea that was like I you know, you get you get good at filtering out your races.
Yeah so you bet you you have a system you build a system is probably your values like
Yeah, it's pretty clear yeah yeah it's also like it's cool as well with podcast because you do like your phone hacks we say some pretty wrong shit like some terrible but it's not a fit and we address that and we that's it that's the whole thing about our show is to take the piss out of people that take life too seriously online. You know, people who write their feelings online, that's what we're ripping a piece out of. And we're also baiting the people that have no lives that want You may that don't see social media is true, trivial. Yeah, I mean, it is trivial. It's like, funny, but also, it's cool, because that's the greatest thing about podcast. If people are offended by your podcast on my podcast, they just turn it off. It's like, Fuck, I'm not gonna listen to the episode of this
damn nightmare, because the interesting thing about phone hacks is it's not just like ours is very self contained. Right? So it's like, if you listen, you could get offended or whatever. With what you guys do. The actual hacks end up going outside of the podcast platform. Can you just explain this?
Yeah, so on my podcast, a phone hacking podcast. We so what we do is we go we roll the dice to see what we go through and each other's phones. So it's me, comedian Mike Goldstein, and we have a guest. And so you can either go through notes, draft tweets, a camera, roll over church history. So, you know, we go through that in each other's phones, obviously the guests, sometimes they don't want us to go through a certain thing. So we're like, that's fine. You know, that's cool. And we forget you guys want actually, and
go with my notes
on the whole business.
My rice is
actually anytime he has it just puts it in notes
on the microphone each time before he
Yeah, but yeah, but then we, what we do is at the end, we roll another dice to see what we can hack on each other's phones. So you know, it's either a Facebook post or a tweet, or Instagram. So we have pre prepared hacks that we can do so one time mike got me to text my uncle to say I had a dream we 69 last night.
How you with your uncle? Oh
yeah you know sometimes I wish
I hope it's just a dream and doesn't become a reality floating
yeah well yeah that's I moved away from Sydney
yeah so yeah I'm a lot I've we've had ones that are really yeah no I haven't received like threats or anything but one time you know in that in the heart of the me to movement I might got made a post on my Facebook net more like ninja no thank you like
yeah I was pretty low level but it's yeah it's I could imagine a lot of people trick a lot
of people yet then like I have friends with girls and stuff to write me messages going man take a no as party podcast but I would take that the and everyone very sensitive about this environment. And yeah, so I just had to take it down. I was living in fear, you know to man like imagine how many people in the industry would have screenshot of that and alive, like I've hung out with Gatsby, you know, whatever,
you know, whatever bs with her and she couldn't be
bothered by the tweet.
Yeah, also it's terrible because my mates on Facebook started arguing about it. So one of my best mates. He was like, he didn't like the Internet special. So he sent to his girlfriend and he goes see Kevin's a comedian and even he thinks that she and then she goes it's Can't you see this is free fuck podcast. He's baiting you say he's arguing on the post with another guy who's saying it was good. Yeah, and then I've got another friend, you know, some farmer in Adelaide. There was like yeah, I didn't like it either. comedy is subjective. And I was like, Fuck, guys. Can't you see that you are in a trap. It's like you're walking into the draft they like this like a carrot dangling and all your dumb mates walking in they're going straight for the character it's a squeaky toy. All you mates that are intelligent I standing around the trashcan there's something fishy about this is too easy. This is like a microwave meal.
Did you ever have to take down an episode or have you ruined any guests live
or heaps? times? Yeah, No, we haven't. We've had to edit some. Some things add some what's that process been like? Yeah, pretty brutal. Yeah, because the guest is like not I do not want that on there. Or some guests have just bowed out totally. They're like, I'm not gonna do a hack. Like I've been in the episode they told you before, like in the episode like, just tore me up with record. Yeah, I know. I know. We're cool with it. We're like, I am It's only the premiere show.
Game Show. Yeah, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but you don't want to answer any questions.
Yeah, once we had Adam Rosen back, she was a great comedian. But years ago, he, he got roasted on Twitter. He wrote some tweet, and it fucking went ballistic. And then badly, like badly. Yeah. Viral whole guy. And that's what the episode is about is about how can go wrong. And then he was like, Nah, man, I'm sorry. I have too many. I'm triggered.
What does he say? Can you find it?
No, no, no. Please don't do it. Yeah, but shouldn't men shouldn't named him actually? Because we
gotta remember. Yeah, fuck.
What I think though is a time where
that was totally cool by us. We're like, Man, that and it was a great episode because it was insightful Yeah, of how it can go wrong. It made me think a lot like, you know
what I mean? Do you think that there's gonna be an expiry date to the podcast? Like, do you think people gonna get to woke? Or do you think that we're at peak murkiness? And or maybe the second weakness is being like are the social media shit doesn't matter? Like, let's just chill the fuck out?
Yeah, I think there is that. Yeah. And I, I still have huge anxiety about going into the podcast, because you're like, fuck what's going to happen? You know, because you got to write a message to someone or something like that. And but also there is a freeing. There's a stage I went through about two or three months ago, like, We're nearly 100 episodes in there, where it was just freeing. Just like yeah, social media is a joke. Who cares? Who cares? You know, just one drunk
tweet, whatever you want. Say I was doing the podcast.
There is some funny shit sometimes. I remember one time I post a heartfelt thing about my granddad like I miss my granddad. And then someone wrote phone and
Zambia and yeah, salsa,
bullshit. You wouldn't ride this early adulthood, right?
Yes, it does come back on us a lot. And it could it's highly well known in the comedy community that you know, we're doing it that people, comedians will play jokes on each other. So one comedian said, Hey, man, like he didn't say, Hey, man, but he wrote in a post Hey, guys have gone through a lot of depression lately. Thank you so much for everybody helped me through it. And someone actually commented phone hacks, which is not funny, but also very funny.
Man, were you on the show? Was this guy on the show? And I was like, No, like he was.
What did we I saw first time I connect with ash Williams. We had coffee together. I hadn't. I'd known who he was. He knows my Bro, but before we all met I bumped into him at Sally's deli. I it was the morning he was doing your show. Yeah, we had two extra strong Lata as I couldn't believe how many pumped man he is. He is a walking latte. What did you do to him? I can't I can't remember the tie.
We did some great things to ash. There was one. Where are the recent one we got him. It was the night before New Year's. We got him to post on Twitter. Does anyone know where I can get coke and Melvin?
It was so great. And because
I got it sorted in real time. I didn't know as a phone Heck
yeah. So Mike Goldstein.
My You know, my my accomplice in this. He human ash went and played tennis together. And he said he asked us look frustrated the whole time and he said at halftime he goes, man, I gotta take it. dance
like it half
the time he's got me I've got to take it down this is ruining me yeah his deal is we'll get pissed
to find this ringing
forget we got him to do something else that was there was on Instagram. We got him to post something to anyway you can look back through and it
actually is a hard one to
look at if it's a phone hack or not
our man and it's this is you guys love the store I told the story on on the podcast but it was hilarious. So he's a big tennis head. And he says to Mike all you can we can play it this the best club in Melbourne, the best club in Melbourne. He goes they all know me there. I'm the king. I'm Ash Williams right. So Mike is stoked. He's like me and this is the best I get to play at this like great club in Melvin. He rocks up and then escos All right, man. Don't walk through the doors. What you need to do is just duck under the window has to the court sneaking into the tennis club and ash walks. This is how cool lou is. I love him so much. He just walks up to the security guard go and he goes, Hey, man, can you flick on the lights here? Yeah, man, can you flick on the lights and not fucking lot to carry on?
I'm trying to play a match, you know? Just like the goal.
Just playing a game at the most prestigious club.
Classic. Oh, good. I'm so jealous of that confidence. I wish I could do it, you know.
Then he puts it out when it came to the
funny what triggers me? Yeah, I
was I was hoping to see the DM.
One of the best ones we got with Cameron James on a live episode. Yeah, once again, one of the best guests ever. He was on Rove's TV show today. I think I think you're cancelled two episodes or something but I thought it must have rose number then so I said to him got him to text Hey bra just chasing that invoice
probably episodes I was
rose probably also pay might not but I was hoping there was truth to unpaid
show gets cancelled says yes I get it I get it Yeah, it was
knowing who fucking has invoices on the final accounts by the way this comes
back for like ages and then was like we just had to buckle and go Hey man, just telling me you're on the podcast, you know. And so yeah, it was all a ploy to get
rove to know about your podcast.
brokers like thank cross they Right Hey, he's like thank God because there was some discrepancy
it could have been a Jimmy grant style joke.
Yeah he he he said there was some screw up thing with the payroll or something like
there's been a screw up from day one with your pay
so with that said that stuff's old in the news now because I've got a hater friends it was shifts. I worked in kitchens for a bit. And, man, you're like, how does this happen? people not know everyone was getting fucked over in hospitality for so long. Like,
do you think that there's on the George thing because initially I was like, This guy. But then I was also thinking of like, is the whole system fact like is there a Is there a way of doing it where people can be successful in this space because it's not like he would have gone out to Lucy's house and
show you if you running payroll. Which way do I have to manually post a pay run? But then there's the bit where you then have to send the cash. And so, when you're doing it at hundreds of people level, you should have a system in place. If you fuck it one bit, it could fact 200 people's pays for that cycle. You missed the suit like it is. But if there is a gronk in charge, yeah, by chance of it happening, right?
Yeah, well, but hospitality is a weird thing, because it's a lifestyle job. So it's lifestyle, you leave your shift, you leave the restaurant, you don't just go home, like a nine to five, you know, it's that kind of live at the restaurant. It's a culture so that you don't get paid in culture and status. And that's why most chefs are fucking high on drugs, you know, in you know, so that's what takes the piece like you do get to the big wages. If you work hard for 10 years or nothing. Then you get to the big status, but also, you know, you getting fired diver for those first time I saw like how many
Georgie that's a whole culture thing though right like George went up in that way you know what so I think it's like this is how where this is how we're doing
well joy I saw him write about it and it made sense he's like I'm great at motivating teams being creative with food getting everybody excited in the business Yeah, he's like I let it all slip the fact that he wasn't doing it and then he lets some you know the focus isn't there is a creative guy that makes food and knows how to make kill us of lucky but then absolutely destroys the other side of it and because you can be great at brand and business the side of getting people through the door but not the other ship
or man Yes, I comedy as well. Sometimes you do things for status you do. You know you go if I will get this expensive venue that will you know, that that I'm paying through the nose for but it's cool, it looks cool. You know what I mean? this venue is in this spot, and I look Cool next to the ash Williams and discover
guys keep the lights on here.
Just walking to the athenee. Yo, what's going on? I got the tribal King said, I mean, there's gonna be people coming in around 50 people coming in to fill this. But if he if he know anyone that wants to come in and our gods families. Yeah, but yeah. And then you have someone like my girlfriend's helped me out with my stuff. And she's like, Why? Why do you? Why have you done this? And you're like, Yeah, because it's cool. You know what I mean? Like, you get an ad in this magazine, and it looks cool. And she's like, you are paying so much money for this and you are not getting the returns. Why would you do that? Like you can perform in this space for this amount of money. And you go Yeah, but it's a culture thing. You know what I mean? You pay those people like you at that venue and then they give you more gigs and stuff and she's like, Yeah, but the figures still do not.
You're spending 20 grand a year on yellow pages.
Somebody you've bought this much in forever. Oh, she is.
Russia. She is definitely
Japanese just as good you get fruit not it's gonna say manifest satisfaction. You should leave
for Russia under everybody's seat open with that jog. And then at the insight, everyone's a very Russia and you
all say so. Yeah. So the lens lens of that. cap is girlfriend. that's costing money. Yes. Yeah. So that's a status thing. That's,
that's kind of the same decision. Miam. My, my cousin made he worked for a famous chef for a wall in I think it was in British Britain somewhere. And you know, everyone was like, Yeah, but you're working for the king. He's like, but I'm getting paid shit all money. You know, everyone's on drugs. We work fucking 2020 hours a day. And he's like, Yeah, but you're learning. And he's like, he was happy for a few years. He's like, happy to get the status but he's like, bucket. I'm, I'm not going anywhere this like he goes, it could be a wall. Or he just went to the mines got a shit job for a while as a chef, they're just cooking for miners got paid a fuckload of money. And then just bought a house in Byron Bay and now works at a really cool cafe in Byron Bay.
You know what I mean? Like, there's no exactly you can choose to not play the game. There's so many Yeah, games that you opt into.
Yeah, you can make your own game, you know, whereas there's probably some guys who made the wrong decision, walked away from that. Maybe walked away from it six months, after six months of training under that great shift, go straight to the mines and then they're forever depressed. Yeah, they're like, I got a house and a car or whatever, but I'm depressed. You know, this. This exists all types of games you can play but you gotta you do have to say to yourself, I remember. I was flying to Sydney to do gigs. There were $450 $100 and not sleeping on a catch. And I was doing all these gigs. I was like, Yeah, but you get to play This place, you know, one of the best comedy gigs in Sydney, and you got to go with the Psalms and go No, yeah, I'm paying 400 bucks for a flight.
Do you need to work out because there's always like, people say don't do free work or they sell these different things or even it's like, you got to think about your lifestyle. Yeah. Is there a Is there a point in someone's career where you just need to not be the shit kickin necessarily, but just do the grinding and those types of gigs to then be on the other side and get to choose?
Yeah, yeah, I reckon, sir. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You got to do you got to be smart. Like you got to do the smart grind. I reckon like you still got it. What does that mean? What does it mean to be smart? There was some gigs I I would be going out doing open mics every night. And I loved it. Like I still love it. I don't go out and do it as much now by wanting to get back into it, but it's hard. I've got a nice house now. don't own it or anything, but my housemates and I were world, great community, and we have great fun. And so you want to go out as less, but I would always go out and they'd be open mics you do, where you go, I'm going to learn something from this be a tough crowd, you're trying out new gear, but then there'd be some open mics, where the host, there was just a shift vibe in the room will be very poorly managed. And the audience that were there, they were like, didn't want to be there at all. And you go, I probably should have been at home riding, rather than doing this, you know? And like, I couldn't use my time more effective. You have to be there, though, to realise that. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you have to do a lot of those shit gigs to to really realise that you start to value your time, you know, so. So if you're not doing the grind in terms of, of, of going out doing marks, then you've got to be doing the grind in terms of writing. Like there's some comedians who I never see it up on my Like Nathan salvo such a good comic, like one of the best, I never seen one open mic. And he does a show like a whole new our end of the sick Mike and whenever he gets up at a paid gig, it is awesome. And you're like, wow. And it's because he's just sitting at the computer writing furiously like something that I don't do that I go out and do heaps heaps a mix. You know what I'm so
different for everyone. Yeah, I was talking to Jaime spoke the other day. And he was saying how he would try and write. And he would write for days and be like, this is all shit. Like he's worked out that that's not his mechanism to get to the funny shit. Yeah, exactly, man. Yeah, yeah. So you got to find your own thing. But yet, that's how valve is doing it. He's sitting down. Did you try the writing thing? Did you like spend a lot of time in Shilla? Or do you think that that's even something that you evolve to over time?
Yeah, I did evolve to that. Yeah. When when I was doing comedy in Sydney, I don't know. It was cores like a kind of a real weird ragtag crew. There were a bunch of great comics, but also incredibly looked down on people at work. You know what I mean? Like if a bloke took a heap of notes to a gig, you go, What a fucking dork. But also, we didn't see great comics, with a lot of notes. You only see the bad ones that were working really hard. But then later on, you see those bad people that are working hard, and as long as they're a nice person, they get real good. And they overtake you. You know, so so then you're like, all Fuck, some people don't have it. Some people, or they're not doing the grind in the right way. Is that the Australian thing? Do you think is it the is it connected to the tall poppy staniel line sort of shoes I used to do? That was the kind of the Yeah, when I was starting it you know, when I was starting I was like gay. It was the tall poppy thing a loo this dork working hard. Whatever, whatever idiot. You know, you gotta go on there. You gotta practice you got to do hit marks. Whatever. But now it's totally changed. Like, you know, now there's heaps of drink tokens at comedy gigs because no comedians drink. They're all working hard. They're looking over their notes. And it's awesome. It's way better, in my opinion, you know, rather than because you could fluke it back then you could fluke it in music. You know, you could just be a fucking heroin addict. And it'd be you know what I mean? I'm not I'm not the Jimi Hendrix was a fluke. But he would say that's the thing. He was doing the grind. Apparently, he would take the guitar to the toilet with him. And if he saw an amateur playing guitar, if they had some cool, weird thing that we're doing, he always asked him, Yeah, apparently he just woke up the people that open locks or whatever, or at parties that were playing guitar and go, what's that thing you doing? Now? What's that doing? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, so, so it's cool, you know, and you have, so now Yeah, everyone's working really hard, and it's awesome.
Writing solid celebrating ambition. I, even Simon tyla, who we've had on, I think Feel like this heaps of a? I did a short doc on him a few years ago. Yeah, we went to all these different you did like four stand up things in a night. Yeah and so many comedians are like real negative about him and it's I feel like I talked to him about it and there is he's got so much ambition Yeah, and he's always doing stuff and trying stuff and it seems like people can't even see see that like it you take away the comic side of it like the the humour whether you like that or not like I think that there there should be that sort of celebration of people just fucking putting in the work.
Yeah, man. Exactly. You know, and that's that's what held me back for a large amount of time. I think that I I would say someone like Simon Taylor or something, you know, be like, rather than say, Hey, I can I learn from this guy?
If fuck that guy's fucking working out. On Twitter or trying to get me your opportunities that's that's terrible you know what I mean? Yeah but he's his stuffs good but it doesn't hit anyone in the heart and he went from that to me turning around going well he's making a living off it I still work in a warehouse. Now there is a lot of things I can learn from this guy. You know what I mean? There is a from people like in there is a lot of stuff I can learn from them,
you know, and I guess you even see the same that is like the online comedian saying like the guys like say, Christian how, who we've had on the show before. He's like, he's built an audience. Yeah. And then he's been able to transition and make it work in front of crowds. And I think that the comedians that will thrive, are the ones that are not necessarily Christian and all that but can play in the same brain or in game and be like, I can fucking look like it doesn't mean I shouldn't fucking do YouTube or if you if you tweet too much you're try hard, but that's actually what it requires.
Yeah, they, you know, have the impact in 2020 Oh man, that's it. And there is a new type of comedy fan going, you know, like I'm, you know, knocking that you see the people that survive, are the ones like the youtubers or whatever that survive are the ones that still take, like, work hard at the stand up. Because at the end of the day, the crowds are gonna stop coming. If you're just a one trick pony. Yeah, definitely, they will stop coming, like and it's we, you know, you can be as big as YouTube as you want or whatever. But they will stop. They will stop coming, you know, but it's also bred this weed type of audience member that some have gone to some YouTube shows and things like that. And they don't laugh. Like, because they found out the person's not funny on stage. Yeah, but they're there for the merge. This selfie at the end. Yeah. What's
podcasting? We the weirdness in like, say the daily talk show doing live shows like we're not comedians. Yeah. And so there are reasons there are comedians that a storyteller like you might not have those big punch line moments. Yeah. So I think that that's what's interesting too is maybe it will start to get more defined. Yeah, but it won't be at the moment. It's like YouTubers are good at building an audience because they have this thing the real power is when it's crafts people who fucking love stand up. Yeah. who love doing like the joke. Yeah, focusing on that. doing YouTube and then being able to bring it exactly.
And it's cool like it's admirable. You know what a man like? I remember years ago, Brett Blake and I did a show in Newcastle and Isaac Butterfield guy asked if he could open for us, and it was in like a shitty pub. And it was like 50 people and they just came in open for us is real nice, guys. And yeah, I talked to him, sometimes whenever I see him or whatever. Yeah, and he stand ups like, all right, you know what a man like, I've never really seen it, but it's not really my kind of vibe yet. He's like such a good bloke. And also, he was, he would lived in Newcastle. He couldn't do open mics. Like as many as we could in Sydney or whatever. So he's like, how can I just play two more people? Yeah. And that's when he started doing the YouTube videos. You know what I mean? And people can love it. They go there. And I'm like, good on him. You know? And
was there a moment like it sounds like there was a shift in realising that like, beliefs weren't serving you Did you have a specific moment where because I think I even catch myself where it's like, when you looking too much to what other people are doing or Yeah, that did you have any specific moment for you? Were you were you made a conscious effort of like, actually, this is these ideas. Serving
yeah I think there's a few things that have I remember I was talking to my cousin once and he's like you've been doing stand up for like seven years still broke or whatever Do You Do you ever evaluate what material works with other material like you record this down and I'm like forever oh yeah and sometimes there's no there's no formula to stand up there's no right or wrong way to do that is the greatest thing about it. And it's the greatest thing about podcasting as well. no right or wrong way. You cannot if you're giving someone advice on stand up you are just telling them what works for you. And I always most advice right it's all
it's always comes from
Yeah, pretty face it you know what I mean? But it's not like engineering where you like know that fixed you
can't put his feet on top of it all. Yeah.
But yeah, baby
Different just be sitting on a ball I know I've seen the guy
sphere is a is a ball that was on a pole. Yeah, I understand me for estimated you are at least
I mean what else he got? Yeah.
But yeah so you can in fact and yeah but he said like yeah, you know you have you ever seen me ever thought what works better whatever and I was like oh yeah true but also there was a couple of festivals and things that I did with other comedians and whenever I need to line up a show on with him, I was like not to blow my own horn. I was just as good if not better. But I was playing to 20 people and what or under and they were playing 200 or two Under people and on, so I was like, What are they doing? That I'm not doing? And I had to, you have to shed a fair bit of shame. Because whenever I posted something I'm like, I don't want to annoy people. I don't want to be one of those guys. It's online. And I was realised it's only coming It's only other comedians. The kid like a
void like maybe it's also your own voice because you were so negative on that exact around other people. Yeah, yeah, look at you. You're on the sky bus promoting gigs. So great. That was a great Insta story. You held my attention. I was fucking Yeah.
Yeah, so there's that there's a fair bit of shame in that. You know what I mean? Like when you go in there you go. Just
being on the sky.
The sky buses. I feel like it's quite expensive for being on a bus.
Oh man. Yeah, exactly. 25 bucks. And there was this thing where you for ages you could get a Ola to the airport for like nearly the price of a skybox. But now it's Like they like now fuck you this was this deal was too easy was a microwave dinner for all.
The train from bone died at the airport, like in Bondi Junction. Yeah, they're all expensive. There's only one way like for a lot of people it's the cheaper way.
It's just when you got two people you might as well get a car and that's unicycle.
Any cycle with a backpack is a whole lot of time and a whole
paper that makes no sense to get
us yeah. And so the the reason I brought the sky bus was because you were doing Insta stories where you're like, Hey guys, like here are some of the things and you just sort of went through and promoted a bunch of stuff.
Yeah, no comedian would like that. Comedians will be back on Kappa fucking Shut up. No one wants to hear about your story about how you you go in Adelaide next week while you're on the Skype is boring, but you know people do like and I was doing cooking things for a while right cook a meal. And I would just document me cooking the meal on Instagram stories and Hola microwaves on man a Beef Wellington man that is a hard yards but it is delicious. It is definitely the opposite of a microwave meal. I was mentally healthy after that, and the satisfaction I had. But you know, hit to my major right and we go fuck you Kappa. Yeah, we got those miniscule dots on the storyline, you know, and you posted like 124 hours. Fuck you kept but audience people were like, Oh, this is sick. Like you are definitely gonna fuck up this before I watch this.
Do you have the honest conversations with comedy nights where they say fuck you Kappa like there is the one where it's like I say what's happening I'm I can see their projection and anxieties and all that sort of thing.
Do you ever say like you ever close enough or feel like you can have the conversation where it's like I meant, do you think that may be the reason why you're saying this is because you're a bit sad. Oh man. That's cool. That's a cool They're doing company for one year. So you kind of get good friends. And there's a little bit of competition between you, but it's healthy competition you, you're happy for each other. And also, you know, your place in comedy before I was like, everyone should be Bill Hicks. Everyone should be weird, but then you do not have mates. Now in common, I never thought I would have that I just like, I'm mainstream. This is what I do. I talk about this, I don't fucking break out of any level. That's what I do. And, and in a way you see the art in what they're doing. And it's just takes just as much effort to be an alternative, or a weird comedian to do to get a broad audience to, you know, to appeal to everybody or to appeal to a certain demographic is there's an art to that as well. So you appreciate those things. And that that's also kind of opens you up to be like yeah, take take the real peace out of each other. You know what I mean? Like, you know,
What you know you don't take it too hard or you don't feel like it's a I mean it always hurts.
And that's what makes it funny because then you go to hurt them more
you know Ben Knight you know I live with him and he's his greatest comic actor he's another guy should get on he's fucking great and he's always talks about being a teacher and teachers go to shows cuz he used to be a teacher and everything and I always pay him and he plays guitar with a loop pedal. And fuck I rip the piss out of him. Like you
know, other way cuz I cheer I'm like, Yeah,
that's it, man. It's so good. Every time he's going to a gig. I'm like, Oh, are you gonna do singing little jingles and impress them and like boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, yeah.
never stopped roasting him about it. And in turn, he'll roast me is like, capital. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. To cover myself and oil or whatever, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that that's great. Right as well, you know, yeah, yeah, we always do. Brett Blake had this great routine, right? He always said the same. He always delivered it the same way. Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, I'm a professional. I'm a professional removalist and we break in both your ship. And anytime he was saying that every comedian would always, like do a story of like the holy grail, you know, it was called the Holy Grail. And anytime he walked in a room everyone would do an impression of it. And sure it would tear away a small piece of his soul.
It was hilarious.
So is it festival time like we're like we were talking to lay mo and he was saying he just did fringe?
Yeah. Comedy Festival coming up.
Yeah. What? What's your plans?
Yeah, I got Melbourne Comedy Festival coming up. I got Adelaide fringe. Yeah. And it's all the whole shows about the tuxedo trip. And a CD Kony festival. I don't know where the tickets are available for that when you have this tickets avail warble as well. Yeah, it's not a festival or anything it's you could say it's my festival it's actually fucking it is a festival it's wonderful comedy
and it's just me you're driving down there we drove back that night or I don't know
I think I'm going to try and stay good man it's a long story but oh it's a long drive I mix this up with another one of those on the sea right yeah
yeah that's true. I acted years ago whaling station you can see wild but wailing is wailing like killing while killing whales that don't kill
whilst you on such a great change. It's like a lie so they come in like a servo and your pattern
like a game. It's a viewpoint for while killing while now
you know the look at and what's wild and you jerk off
noise They call it I thought I
was the only guy. I know. Yeah, yeah. I Why did I not apparently, obviously, I acted in this thing where there's this apparently some kind of kind of place where you do those tours of the whaling station and it's got big, like a big projection that projects on this waterfall and and that's kinda it's kind of like an old the history of the whaling station and
yeah, yeah, so for science work sort of like sovereign hill where they've got the homestead. Yeah, exactly.
I've been Oh, yeah, apparently Tom Ballard used to work there. It was kind of his first one of his first town things is there. And so yeah, so I flew here for two days, I had to sit on this ship. In this green screen background like it was fucking awesome. And it's like 200 year old ship in this big studio in Port Melbourne. And it just had to sit and pretend we're getting hit by waves and things that addresses an old timey kinda guy and there's the whale like this A Bose and throw the harpoon and everything and yeah, we had to do these other things right. So welcome to the whaling station, if you can handle it whatever so badly that these big projections of me right down. Okay, yeah so I kind of wanted to win that you just
did it in Port Melbourne and now it's in
you're gonna do the green screen from Port Melbourne. Yeah.
Yeah, that's one of the selling points actually. Like if you've been to the whaling station.
Silent number four
is my favourite silence.
My we have to get you back on the show.
Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for coming.
It's my studio.
That's one of the things that's why I asked to be on the podcast is to go Hey, Tom to overtake the corners lol
Yeah, I think especially when Melbourne Comedy Festival starts to match
23 months Yeah. Yeah, yes. It's summer in and they
get a whole list of because we want to do more comedians, we haven't done that many hundred selling apps. Yeah.
So we recommended about seven.
Yeah, so yeah, yeah, there.
Yeah, I can hook you up. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't. I think I found you guys cuz you had some other studio or something. And we were doing some podcast. We had another studio in Abbotsford for a little bit. I don't know how often you guys may want Instagram or something. But anyway, that's cool. Yeah. So cool. Because like, yeah, I've been tuning in every now and then and I just love it because you can just dumb just sit in the car, and just like not have to get too invested in it. I'm a big fan of the dollop. But I've got to be sitting there listening to every detail. Yeah, you know what I mean, when you could, you know, you know, I don't know, one guy with autism and one guy with not many features.
You don't have to invest that much.
Thanks, Joe. Hi the daily talk show.com if you want to send us an email, feel free to hit us up on Apple podcast with a review. We love that otherwise cinemark See ya