#619 – Jo Stanley On Being Present/
- February 25, 2020
Jo Stanley – TV, Radio Presenter & Comedian
Jo is one of Melbourne’s favourite comedians and presenters after 10 years as one half of The Matt And Jo Show on Fox FM. At its prime, The Matt And Jo Show was the most listened-to radio show in Australia, with 6 consecutive years at number one.
In 2015, Jo joined Lehmo for GOLD104.3’s breakfast show.
Jo has also appeared as a regular panellist on Channel Ten’s The Project, The Circle, and The Panel, and is currently co-hosting The House of Wellness, a weekly slice of TV goodness that helps you live, look, and feel well.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– The present moment
– The rules of massages
– Sleep and heart rate tracking
– Meditation and consistency
– Changes in radio
– Choosing one word for the year
– Working on ourselves
Jo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realjostanley/
The House of Wellness: https://www.houseofwellness.com.au/
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 619 special guests in the studio Joe
Stanley, welcome. classics.
The best number of them all.
Obviously, I love 619
would you would you clap guests in when you did radio? Was that a thing?
Oh, no. What should I have
in the morning when you're doing it?
I don't know. I think that you were really aware so you know, you do breakfast radio for the people who are in their cars and in their lounges and in their showers. And so I suppose you you just aware that you making it more intimate than that, perhaps?
Okay, so should we stop clapping?
feel as a guest we getting?
How does it feel?
Well, I always feel like I have to clap as well join in on it. Yeah, because I don't want to stand there. Sit there by yourself. Just letting people applaud you.
I think that's the right word. So you do sing Happy Birthday when it's your birthday.
No bed I was recently at a party with a birthday girl saying Happy birthday with everybody else and I was like slightly
children to that. I think my son actually know my son was just waiting to open these blow out the candles and get the cake.
How was your son?
He's three, two and three two weeks ago.
Wednesday was nearly a punch on with the candle.
It's so annoying. There's always one kid that comes out of nowhere and blows my mom back off. Yeah, I was at the 40 years over the weekend and I said to my brother, watch this little shit blow out the candle and there was four candles you can get 40 under the thing. And sure enough,
go and unite because that now means you have child survivor on your
children at disgusting we should actually
water pistols nine
year old are you tired of 40 or I will be a little more gracious about the candles being you know, let the child do it
depends how many drinks you've had made. It was a catfight.
You were talking about consciousness and you saying that you're really into being conscious nowadays. But was there a time where you were unconscious in life do you think? Hmm.
I think we all are when we're young because we're too busy having fun, although, well, that's a huge generalisation. I reckon that you Millennials are way more ready to be aware of their impact on the world and also to have a spiritual life to them. Then perhaps I was I mean, I'm 47 right? Oh, really old. And when I was in my 20s, in the 90s, it just wasn't a thing that you spoke about, you know, it wasn't kind of there was no Russell Brand making meditation cool, you know, and there was no or not that I found anyway. I mean, I was too busy partying. Get back to my first point. And then for me, I suppose I had a few things go on. I had a lot of anxiety. I was really sad all the time. Went to therapy was still in therapy, which is during your time at Fox? Um, yeah, so I guess sort of from about 30 onwards, I realised that I was very sad loss and didn't like being that person. So I went to therapy and then she introduced me to mindfulness and meditation as a way of sleeping. And then gradually bit by bit, I sort of, you know, you do your reading and you discover people for me it was Eckhart Tolle, a and, and Deepak Chopra, and various Bernie Brown, or all these people that sort of start putting little pieces of puzzles together, and you go, Oh, hang on a second. I, I don't have to feel like this. And be I can be nicer to be around. And also, if you do that, then bit by bit, you're impacting other people who are doing it, and then hopefully, just, I think, compassion and consciousness will save the world. I mean, you should have added that brekkie radio period, so it's like, how much do you think was contributed from the three hours? Oh, shoot. Yeah, I mean, sleep deprivation will make you depressed. 100% and I just think I think about people who are police officers and ambos and nurses and doctors and you know, people who do shift work all the time. I'm I'm genuinely concerned for them
what's sustainable? Or you see these in that living in your head, right? Like, it's the fatigue, like, these are all sensations that you're feeling in your body that can drive your bit insular. Like, if you're tired, you kind of like don't can be bothered speaking to people in your heads just churning with thought. Yes. And so it can sort of be the spiral where you're just like, it's like you're in a computer game and you know, looking at, I think there's a distinction between like the being conscious or you know, are you conscious versus the consciousness as the thing we know it as, as the world we exist in consciousness is the construct. Yeah, the thing that we're all seeing, and so, yes, and so, it is Interesting that I like the, you know, back then I don't know if it's the access to information we have now the podcast that, you know, everyone had to read a book if you wanted to learn about consciousness or mindfulness, but now it's like on TV, there's Russell brands, people are threading it into comedy. Did you start reading any of the little nuggets you were learning about into breakfast radio?
Um, I did enjoy making fun of myself in therapy, because I just I mean, essentially, and I've just gone back to therapy and and I think it's because I'm not on breakfast for three hours talking about yourself every day. Yeah. Now I only have I could have to pay someone
to do it. Like is it like a hairdresser? Like, if you've left it too long? Can you go back?
This is this is my fourth therapist.
Over 15 years. We seeking something different this last time around apps. I broke them.
Yeah, I think I was taking something to Friend, yeah, it's lots of different practical things. A lot of people I tell you what therapists are hard to get into these days, people really like going to therapy and they're all bummed out.
I can't get into the woman till March. I just it was very, it's a convenient place to go. And so I spoke to her, but she's like, I haven't gotten nothing into a match. But she said it so kindly because she's trying to say, like, if that's too long to wait, how something else? How much in trouble, are you?
I think I'll be fine.
I'll see you in March. That's right. But yeah, I mean, therapists like you can't get a good colorist stable death.
You know, and there's a supreme store, you know, a
lot of the day Yes, right. It's true. But so I think for me radio, it's a creative endeavour. And with every creative endeavour, you are in your head anyway. And you when you when you're creating content, or whatever you might be doing in on any platform. You thinking a lot and and you Maybe I have a propensity to be a Channa which I definitely am. Are you
a churner? What are you mentally churning all the time? Yeah. And I think it's it's cathartic to speak every day like what we do. I found I've found times where we've had a break off. And I do go a bit more internal
yet very much so tell me
how you've got a changing energy.
That's the measure. It's the whole in retro gratitude, right.
yeah, I don't really understand what that means. I just I only discovered it the other day. Because everyone's naming about service. What does it mean? What you don't know if I've know it, so
I don't know what it means but it's something to do with
Uranus is going faster than it normally does. Yeah, yes. Yeah.
This is right. Yeah.
What is it services are an easy explanation.
The motion of a planet in The direction opposite to that of other bodies within its system.
So anyway people apparently that's why people are anxious. But the no but I do overthink Tommy's picked up on it I always say I'd prefer to overthink then under think but it doesn't it doesn't really
help them even just in saying that you've ever thought it yeah
if you jump into the meditation space it's like it's actually the dropper trying try at least focus it yeah so rather than sort of the spiral the the churn, it's to come in and focus on something so that you're anchoring your thought
well, you just you notice it you notice the thought and you go there it is again, and then let it pass through. But see if you so for me consciousness is about present moment awareness. And that to me was like, Oh my gosh, it was it was just a it was like someone gave me a magic K and I opened the door and when that door opened choir's and gold and And just you know, the gift that it was to understand that all we have is this moment now. And all of that in the past that made me sad. Because I just bet on myself. All this stuff in the future that you worry about hasn't even happened. So it doesn't exist it doesn't matter right now is all that matters. And if you're able through meditation to really master breath for me now it's it's a daily practice a minute by minute practice, and it's joyous, because it's so freeing and the tuning doesn't happen Josh
really, I was chanting hard yesterday because I went and had a message that I just just hide the process of like, what and sure enough, I fucked it up. She said she was going to get more towels, but I thought she said she'd finished so I put my clothes on.
Couldn't get the rules wrong. Man,
I just don't want to be I don't wanna do anything wrong and then she was telling me I thought she said to turn over but wasn't sure it was a fucking nightmare. Oh, they just assume that I even though I said I've never been to it before,
how you've never had
a vigorous PTI on legitimate establishment.
Thanks for clarify.
And so now they're very good. It's one of those ones over there. If you pay cash it's a bit cheaper, which is good. I say where it's not
it was all fine, but it really was finished. So
no, but it did sort of they just assumed I knew everything like I was just lucky that I knew that my head went the whole section because the way they had it set up I had the pillow at the other end. I was like, back if I had been to no massages before you put your head at why So below that I think to elevate year later that they put, they put a bouquet of bouquet bouquet bouquet I'd say goodbye but whatever. Okay, flowers at the end. And so I'm like, do I now do I move that into my late there was a lot
It sounds like that romancing you
I think it was like that. It's an in between where it's like the, my mate had sold it in as it's like, it's sort of a it's decent pricing, but it's like a little bit more, it's a bit nicer. And they did have a con.
Look, I really I'm not a big fan of messages, Holly because of what you're talking about a Josh in that you need to know the rules like you know, in the that particular assessment and how they work and they do differ and you can it's all good having someone you don't know in that space with you and you're like, oh, if I get it wrong, you know, then I might say me and then Nikki Marina, whatever. So that part and also I don't understand what joy is about having a person you don't No, rub oil Ivy. Yeah,
that's gross to me. Well, I was doing it to try and get out of a bit of neck pain. But
I go to an austere for that.
Yeah, I'm thinking I might just go back to the feel that I feel okay. I definitely I feel my body more like I feel like because they've released tension other things are hurting, but I feel overall better. But the thing was like Bree knows what I'm like with this stuff. So she was like, She's like, do you want me to compete? No, might not come. But then she said I said which one do I like? We're looking at the pamphlet we got that really opened at 11 I was there at 1045 just pacing and then we found the one that's I can going deep tissue. First thing when I walked in on my own, they're like, I know Do you want to? Do you want a foot massage for an extra $10 like they were trying to upsell me so anyway? No did it well, the thing is that I would have assumed that a whole body. Deep Tissue would have included fate. Don't touch your fate.
they would they were actually very good figures.
Um, if I had some aches and pains and I wanted to proper message I'd gotten bigger as time. Can we get that as a bit? Maybe?
One One day later they'll throw in a foot message. But then I have the problem of then if they even knew who I was like if they if we cut this up, I could actually never go there again. Anyway. So anyway,
just have a thought that Yeah, potentially. Yeah, you need to understand present
moment awareness. What do you like with going to sleep? Do you go to sleep quickly? No. Terrible,
terrible sleeper? Some nights. This is weird. Some nights I'll literally not shut my eyes for the entire night. Like will not have one minute sleep. And it's not good. It's terrible. What are you doing? just lying there? I don't know. You're just awake. And it feels like it's midday. It's like I'm and then I, I don't this is not that interesting for people listening. I'm imagining But yeah, I just
Um, again, insomnia is a huge I feel like sleeplessness is is a an epidemic in our society. So you actually have insomnia
once you're up all night sounds like it, doesn't it?
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean, we can Google stuff and die self diagnose, but it's more if you'd been to a doctor and they say, how you having insomnia?
Well, is it the thing that you get diagnosed and I thought it was
97 Spain stressed at the moment because he's got a new device, which I got it on. tracks.
Okay, listen, listen.
Thanks. They seem to call you 97 I don't know why. He got a 97 enter school. He
didn't finish school and I got a 46
that's not how I was scoring wait.
Whatever that means. Anyway. 97 I'm going to tell you that is just misery on your wrist because it We're not supposed to be constantly in our head checking ourselves being used in the present moment awareness being the body being you know, the sensors around you and your breath. I don't know I
mean the last three nights of it horrendous sleeps because you've been thinking yeah and cuz you gotta check it as soon as you wake up in the morning and look at how many hours sleep you got. Hot right, right now, yeah, it can be so how much do you pay for that per month? $24 $24 What
It also does the washing
not also does exercise so I use it to track that
can that make sense? But then for the rest of the time like you can't exercise you're not I'm assuming exercising all day. So let's say that's an hour every day, hour and a half tops if you crazy Feat. What do you why for the rest of it? Do you need that monitoring
it also it also um, I mean, it's meant to track your heart right throughout the day. You
have a pacemaker like why do you Yeah, it's it's like it's
like a strain and recovery thing. So it measures how much strain or stress your body's been under throughout the day. And so based on that, it tells you how much recovery you need and gives you tips on it.
I'm working on the show.
That means how much recovery you need from what goes
to the sauna and shit. He's very good at really doubting
85 at the moment, that's quite high.
I mean, it's Drink Drink sleep we got up to 120
does a three o'clock this morning.
If I don't know if it's true, that someone a guy was wearing a smartwatch, right? Oh, okay. He's, he's, he's a deep if you can get this story work out what the story is before you die. Okay, this is a guy got it now. So a guy was really smart watch. He was at having a night with the boys and his wife was at home and the smartwatch was LinkedIn. With the Apple family iPad, right? And at a certain time she says these heart rate goes through the roof. And then so that's how she found out he was cheating because he was out and obviously, well, there's a whole seven minutes of extreme activity
off the back of this
if you get caught cheating Yeah,
that's a good one. What about selling red hot right? When when you're hot, right? Fuck you over
how high can you get it?
What is the highest heart rate of someone who's actually survived it? I wonder what your maximum high rates to 20 minus your age and then
yet she's your club. I didn't know what
I got myself for in I was a PTA for many years.
So it's battle I remember.
But we all get hot past that again,
a maximum to 20 minus your age minus your age.
As you get older, it gets harder to workout off the topic.
Yeah, I'm no good at math. Yes. But that when you say maximum me, that's the level you can get to without having heart attack. Right? Well,
they said that was your maximum heart rates that you could stay at for a period of time. So there's like a safe range where you can heat it up the time during exercise and down. But the more unfit you are, the quicker you're going to get to yes to 20. Do you exercise? Yes, I do. How does that help with sleep? And
I don't help certainly I do parties and I run and running to me is oh my gosh, it's one of the greatest meditations you can do. don't reckon? I don't know if you run
do you run? What do you recognise?
know I'm, that's gonna be the thing. When I get back to it, like I had someone sort of analyse me the other day, and I said, I wasn't ready to run apparently. But I enjoyed my heavy good Nah, yeah, I've got a few injuries.
Well, I'm lucky I like I've got knees that can still run at 46. In fact, I did a fun run the other day because it used to be my greatest joy and then I stopped doing it because I hadn't I'm a daughter and automated life, whatever. And then this year of it, I'm going to go I'm going to do mentoring if I'm wrong, there's only an aka was also around the Melbourne Zoo right at the best time ever. And then was
like, do you get to see the animals?
Yeah. So you we went around the circumference and then through and then around and then through and then around, which was a case. And when I finished I was like, that was so easy. I actually had to double check that I finished all the laps, I thought I'd finished early, like I just didn't finish. Anyway, I came 15 in my age bracket, that's so awesome. And not that they were 16 in the 350. So I feel so fortunate that running is still a thing for me because I just think creatively if I've got if I'm writing something and I can't get the idea, or, you know, I know I've got to come up, I've could do a little brainstorm with myself or whatever it might be. I go for a run and just things come it's so great. But I laugh because I felt I thought I had like a weird heart moment. rememory thing right? And so I went and you know, they do it like a stress test. Evidently they put the things on either. Yeah. And you have to run on the treadmill. Until you get to a point where you feel like you can't keep running. That's how
an image treadmill but feels dangerous. Why? Well, just because like I saw the other day, core core advantage or core core advantage, they have this sprinting thing where the people sprinting on treadmill, I just feel like a treadmill.
I do a lot of trading running.
So they're not saying they're not pushing it to the now you get it right. But then it's a consistent like you'll blow out if you're going at 10, which is
what everyone want to just push it so hard to the point that that just slammed into the wall.
I don't know what everyone else did, but what I did, right, so you
know, what I didn't know is when I got a kiss to put all the things on. He not allowed to wear a bra. Well, right? Well,
I was like, Oh, no, that's not gonna work for me. I just I can't do that. Now. Like, well, you have to that's the only way we can test your heart, right? I'm like,
What are you running? You
know, you put a top on? Of course, yeah. Ronnie, you know, like, I got to like, maybe not very fast. What did you say attain to it, which is pretty slow. Sorry. Let's say I've got to about a 13. Yeah. And then I've just gone that's it. I'm out and this is as hard as your heart can go on and like know my boobs, fucking killing me. I just can't
just put it under the show. He could just wear a bra.
Once and I'm very passionate about gender equality. So I don't roll your eyes, men. But there's another instance with medical science just gender biassed towards men.
This I mean, I've I've felt for women that I've seen running. Oh, yes, I was just nice. That's it. If it.
It's it is I mean, I don't have it's not a big problem for me. I don't have large teeth. But the chicks who have big boobs and they run huge respect, because it doesn't take me much to come up with an excuse. I won't run it as much as I love running. My excuses are it's too hot. It's too cold. It's too windy. I'm having a good hair day. I probably wouldn't run if I have from wearing makeup. I'm like, I'm not quite looking quite gone. I wouldn't run today.
Yeah, so if I had, if I had big boobs, there's no way I'd run. What do you consist in that in life? What is the one thing that you sort of do regularly?
chance I sleep?
No. Well, I died cisely night. I'm meditate at least five times a week, try to meditate daily, but sometimes
it's tm or what sort of know what do you do?
I tend to do at the moment I'm doing I do meditation courses. So I'm very I'm really deep Deepak Chopra's. He does 21 day courses. So you get a little lesson from him. And then he gives you a Sanskrit mantra, and then you meditate with the mantra,
and the ox did he do what's what's
the main one he did? Was what's the most famous one Everyone. This
is nine seven spiritual laws of success. Yeah,
yeah, I think he
totally does that like power of now. this other guy mentioned
lots of Deepak Chopra works with Oprah. Okay, sure. So I mean, Harper's, like, she's gonna be one of the coolest people around. I
adore her. Have you done a retreat like a meditation?
I'm a bit scared.
I mean, it's largely because the people that'll be there when I talk to them,
if you're doing a Silent Retreat, I think they'd still be
definitely things going on.
Well see, the thing is, you end up building stories. I listened to this one woman talk about how she did a idi retreat or a two week retreat full on like it's probably hard one to go to your first one probably wouldn't start with that. Definitely not. But she said how much she had built out in her head about the people around her all the stories. And so, by the end of it, she had never spoken to them. But she's like, this woman. Definitely hates me based on may not but then she spoke to the woman after she thought that's so funny. I thought the complete opposite I thought you didn't like me like it was, it was just clearly that we build stories.
That's a survival instinct, right? The storytelling, how brains are wired to keep us very safe, be very risk averse, which means that we're suspicious of strangers. I've had no you you're not in my community, you're not my tribe, you might be you might want to, you know, bash me over the head and steal my woman and you know, take my ball.
But you know what I mean, like
that then for a an active mind, slash turning mind becomes an obsessive thing, because our brains are convincing us that there's danger everywhere.
It is your best, right? I mean, there's someone I sometimes throw him into. I'm like, what's the story here, Josh? Well, I
thought about like, I know where I heard it, but I've been doing this for the past few years. Monsters driving me crazy. Everyone I walk past I heard this thing where it's like if you look at someone once in the eyes, and then you look away, you can't look back at them because from a power dynamic point of view, you just become super. What's the opposite of alpha?
Yeah. And so I knew that Josh. Yeah. So I've gotten into the habit of like, if I look at someone as I'm walking past, I look at them once. And then as soon as I look away, I'm like, Okay, I'm not looking back.
If they have faced head Oh, we promise not to be staring at them. Right. There could be a bar here
or No, I just so that's, that's one thing.
What's the story that you've got on us,
Joe? What's it What? Yeah, you could you knew that had a churning mind. What's the story? This is
just your energy source weight. And so I'm gentle, which in my experience, an art just made my husband's very sweet and gentle, but he doesn't turn Cuz he's he's, he's a shallow pool is what he said
he was like I say to him Honey, what do you think your purpose is? You sitting on the couch eating Doritos at the time he says this
so that you just feel like you're a real thinker. Yeah. Which is a lovely try. That can be really I think it can talk to you. Or it's told me I feel like I'm a failure a little more easy going around that around the feeling feel like you seem to your energies, I feel a kind of shake it off. And this is having not really I don't know either very well.
assumption. We love this anytime that when someone's talking about it.
Being a very good leader of people, I think on that level. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Do you think that the people that have problems with people tend to say that they're good at reading people What's this? Like? Is I've just got a bad vibe and I'm good with vibes. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if there is like, I wonder if that plays into the story which it's very convenient that you are good at reading people.
Well, don't they say? The most dangerous thing is someone who thinks they know everything, because they weren't. They're not in a learning space, right? So yeah, if I come in and I go, Yeah, I got you tell me, then I'm not very open to understanding who you are. Obviously.
What do you think the biggest misconception is that people get with you.
Um, people have always thought and I didn't realise this for a long time, but people thought I think I'm quite standoffish and a bit cold slash slash beach because I'm very introverted. So in a room I will be quite quite removed and, and and withdrawn because I'm very nervous and extremely, like, you know that anxiety is like hardcore for me, but people are Assume that I'm going to be really outgoing and fun and waka waka so when I'm not that they think that I'm
guess arrogant, or,
you know, you have to try and like, change it in the moment like, have you realised that the external like for me, I'm like, when I'm presenting or if I have to have any information if I'm doing like him saying, I used to never smile because I was just concentrating so much. I'm just saying the name right. Yeah, now I've just got to pretend to so what just a bit of Tommy Tony jackets.
Thanks, everyone for coming. What a beautiful. And I
yeah. which is again, there's a theory to that working in that, you know, emotion is contagious. And so when you smile, people smile back and then that's how rapport is built. But um, yeah, well, that's what that's what breakfast radio taught me because you're always meeting listeners and you have to be from the minute you walk in. You're their best friend and I never would say that that was unauthentic. I bought it taught me that if you look someone in the eye and you smile and remember their name, you instantly make a connection. And for me, social anxiety is helped by curiosity. And if you again present moment awareness and breath work, but just being curious and asking questions of other people, it took me out of my head and into our So tell me, what's going on for you. And really specific questions to like, if I heard them mention their daughter, or, oh, tell me about your daughter, what does she love to do? Or you know, so it kind of that shifted things a lot for me. And in that sort of corporate space where you're meeting lots of people, like you're talking about their jobs, you know, you can just go a long way by remembering someone's name and being really friendly. But that can be hard when you've got that social anxiety because
you want to go hide in the toilet. Can the emotion can be the trap also because if you're not feeling great, and you don't want to be there, it's like, it doesn't mean that situation actually has to be that state. shifted with the physiology fake
it till you feel it. Yeah, yeah. shift it with physiology. Absolutely.
I mean, that's what you were coming into the radio station every morning. That could be some big activation on and there's people everywhere. Is it what you did you sort of just linked into the feeling? What went into it? One thing you don't want to ignore how you feel? But then there's a time that you can ignore how you feel.
Yeah, but don't you see, I think those feelings and those thoughts, right? Your thought, when you're in a space of like, oh, I've got to walk into a room where people don't know me and I'm really anxious about that. That's a thought that's not a feeling and that thought is a lie to you. You You are not your thoughts, your and even like they're true, but they're not sorry. They're real, but they're not true. That the thought that you're having, oh my god, I'm going to walk in there and people are gonna go Oh, she's gonna judge me or am I funny enough for do I belong all those things that you think that's a that happens for real in your head but it's not a truth. So you have to kind of disassociate that and go up. Others that thing again, I've noticed it I've, I've named it and then I'm just gonna let it pass through. And in fact, what I'm going to do is I'm going to walk in, acknowledge that I'm a bit nervous and then I'm going to look at them and I'm going to say hi and be grateful that they're there and enjoy their energy and smile and there's so much positivity around connecting with someone on that real level that I found that I kind of been was caught up in the moment it was great
fun. Well, I mean, what you ended up doing for job is very counter to the introvert that doesn't like their situation is it's I mean it ends up being like a
seems common though like the Howard Stern's or whatever, just do their thing or then
is it that it's common, or that these people like yourself, do it great. You know, like the Howard Stern yourself. It's actually where you thrive but you're acting as an extrovert like it's the extroverts role as an introvert
as well. extroverts that do well as well. I guess
you feel after the wait on a weekend after like Monday to Friday you do show is your default to go into space and not say oh,
I don't wish to talk to a soul
and in fact, and that is the thing one at my husband will tell you one of the differences between me now and when I was on bricky radio, and you know, I might be back on radio again one day full time. So I hope that I'm able to keep this at bay. But I just back when when you're doing that you just saw not into talking to anyone to start, don't look at me, don't talk to me. And now I'm a Chitty chatter Oh, stuff on the street corner and talk to anyone white let him go there.
But that was not me when I was because you start fatigued.
When I feel that yeah, I mean, you have a quota of words are awake.
How does energy in and energy out to? I think how do you find that Don't you think it's like I always use personal trainers? Oh my gosh, the amount of energy that you have to give to your probably winching annoying clients
news having lattes with his clients. Some of them
were wealthy Albert Park women and go to bed is great because I just said let's go for coffee and I said, No. Okay. Scott.
Scott, did you know that Tommy? Tommy he was a stripper and he actually wants stripped for you as a bit of a radio beat. Yeah, remember that? you doing?
I didn't know if you did.
I think I remember what was it on the Matt and
Joe show Matt and Joe show he was at his party. House.
yes. I was in a j string in front of you. It's it's a bit awkward to be honest.
If he was still in a j string
JC pants on now. I'm the production meetings, the conversations within radio in 2020. A different to, you know, that time or even you know, going back into the 90s
I really don't know. Because I haven't been in one in 2020
Yeah. What about your personal life? Do you think that the the shit that was on radio then I gave it I love going back to the archives of stuff especially like, trying to understand the US radio thing and how and just some of the shit that especially the American market would do was just like you could never do in 2020
Oh, yeah, I think that same with everything in the world. We've all moved on and are a little bit more enlightened as to what you can and can't have fun with. But it's definitely and that's a great thing. I mean, there's, there's conversations that have been had around diversity that needed to be had and all kinds of diversity. are not just gender diversity but you know, cultural backgrounds and people with disabilities and whatever it might be like that is that is exactly where we should be and I would like to see our media embrace diversity way more, but certainly for you know, when I was that 10 years on the mat Joe show that conversation wasn't ever really happy.
I wish I was Free Willy with my son on Friday night and he loved surprise like he's three still loves cartoons and obviously gifted Yeah, I mean that he liked
the while I think he's a bit of a generalist which is still gifted, but he says that,
but that movie could not remake
I've never seen it why what's what's
the Orca whale so they what's what's so crazy is that the premise is these people capture it, put it in the tank, and this young kid falls in love with it. They become best friends and he works out that it's missing his family and they ended up taking it and lit releasing which is the opposite
of how they actually got that Orca that in Free Willy a real Yeah you saying the documentary? Oh gosh, it's the saddest thing ever they steal it or it was stole it from its mother and then it believed in a What do you call it a an aquarium, like an say park or would it be courtland and in the end killed on a keeper because it was like extremely anxious and depressed.
my godfather was the director of that film. So the credit was Yeah, he was. Yeah. He didn't give a shit. I was like my
story, my godfather.
But anyway, I think it was that okay. Well, the thing is,
you know, you're gonna fit to try the story, you
know, but the so in itself, it's like, stating that you shouldn't put orcas in captivity,
but they were doing that we're doing
it Yeah, sure. Yeah, but we weren't the lens wasn't there for that. But even like, the prank calls that were done like Matt Tilly did the He brought the diversity to the show, but it was just through his accents. But you can't do that in the like, Can you do that? What do you think?
Ah, I think it was off. It's time and yeah, no, you wouldn't do it now for sure. But you know, I have people still almost on a weekly basis say to me, I would love to met Joe show, and be those gotcha calls. Were just to highlight a woman. Literally last weekend, she had to say today, still, we That's right. You didn't say days? Like, why? Who has CDs anymore? Anyway, it's so um, I don't know. It's hard for me to comment about something that was now 15 years ago. Sorry, sorry, five years ago, more 2013 we finished so yeah, seven years ago.
I think we shouldn't be too, like these things that happened in the past. And I think the point of like, saying the difference now is not to say back then you guys got it really wrong. It's like No, it was a different time disease
forming the future potentially which
it's like saying that the younger generation and now more woke the previous generation we
have different standards. Like, let me give this as an example.
a large part of my time on the mat and Joe show, in around any conversation about 40 players, there was a, you know, a running gag about how I would seriously objectify football players right now. The hot, what can you say and have amazing bodies. And it was really amusing. It was a great sort of comic banter around you know, how I love calling football and, and it was kind of like a running gag. Right? Well, you wouldn't do that. Now. I wouldn't do that now. Because you can't because we have different standards around. Is it okay to objectify human male or female? And it's not but that's it's just a different time. And I don't I don't sort of look back and think that I did it in any way that was threatening or or was it imbalance of power or was in any way offensive. It was just a bit of blue fun content, but you wouldn't do it now. Do it now.
When was the first time you did stand up?
Well, I, I, I was in a comedy group doing live gigs when I was 18. So that was 3029 years ago.
Are you even 30? I turned it in September.
Yeah. Okay. Well, so pretty much your life lifespan. vigorous,
running past me sleeping better.
Yeah. And then I started doing solo comedy, I guess. Maybe when I was 2526. So yeah, it's been but I haven't I did a comedy festival show last year, but it was like a more of a musical spectrum. Play, haven't done stand up in a very long time. What was it like being a woman in that same at that time? Really hard? really hard. And probably, I would say I found it harder being in the green room than being on the stage. The audience were always really fine with it. I never found I was never heckled in a disgusting way. I mean, I didn't do the roughest of venues, but I did mostly pubs like the SP and, you know, those sorts of pubs. So the crowd weren't genteel, but they were never horrible. But backstage I found and this is I think, largely due to my social anxiety and the anxiety I was not managing at the time. I just found being in the green room and being the only woman there amongst all of these really, really, vocal men. very intimidating. I hated it. And I will say, one of the reasons I stopped doing it well, I started doing breakfast radio, so I didn't need to do it anymore, but I yeah, I just didn't want to I didn't want to feel that way anymore? So just stopped going, which is a shame. I could have been amazing. I don't know, maybe not?
Is it? Do you think these men have confidence that or is it assume confidence? What is it?
You tell me?
What and I haven't been in the green room as a comedian. But I mean, I'm just trying to think about those times where if it's just more like, are they try? are they putting on a mask that is like this sort of forward like, you know, trying to do some sort trying to intimidate you? That's what I'm trying to
do as well. If you're the majority, I think that it all automatically, whether it's earned or not, gives you something that a minority doesn't.
Yeah, what you're pondering is essentially patriarchy. I think because what is it? It's like a microcosm of the fact that in an industry where it's very, very male dominated. The people who are the majority, as you say, Josh, they just have a sense of ownership that they wouldn't even question and they weren't intending to be intimidating. I just felt The only other in the room quite intimidated. I'm not a particularly confident person naturally. So that was hard now, and I suppose there's like, you know, there's a sense of feeling like you don't fit in and that there would be an exclusiveness to them like they were they had a boys club and it was hard to kind of fit into kind of, and that was I had a lot of friends there
who were mostly male, no beautiful, but that they weren't always there.
You know, whenever you felt the most confident or the most sort of at home, like within your working career radio station radio.
Yeah, gosh, it's just the best job in the world. Wouldn't you like it's just what a joy What a joy to have.
have the opportunity to connect with people as they're going about their lives and that they trust you with their stories and with their you know, they'd let you into their lives and and consequently, you like them into your life, isn't it? It's a really beautiful participant a relationship that is there's nothing else like it. And I really liked that you could build your you had time for people to understand the complexities of you. As opposed to, you know, on TV, you can't do that. Even if you know sometimes maybe, you know, people like Carrie bit more or, you know, we I think people know, or feel like they know her
is the time 10 years on TV. Exactly. It's this long narrative. That's Yeah,
exactly. And maybe that's why we like you know, I'm a celebrity Get me out of here we say an insight into the kinds of people that these celebrities on, but on radio, you have two years, five days a week, at least usually contract if you're lucky
to build an understanding of each other, and a trust. And you can go to so many different levels. You can be really funny and waka waka or you can be really moving and you can share things about yourself. You can be angry. That's great. That's Sorry, that was so enjoyable to share a common anger about an injustice in the world, you know, like the great medium, the shift from, I guess, days you started in radio, the audience was very kind of separate. You had the show, and then the radio station and then the audience that listened and they contact you through phones and all of that stuff like events. And then the sort of differences now become through you having your own social media and building up that audience that's separate from Fox FM's audience back in the day. And then what does that experience been for you with that more direct contact external from a radio stations audience where it's very much it's all there for you? What does that experience Well,
well, I'm I'm I'm a bit of a grandma when it comes to social media. I wouldn't say I've really got a handle
on Instagram anymore.
Yeah, real Joe Stanley. Was that a deep Josh?
I swear I tried looking you up, you disappear. Yeah,
I would not have done that because I don't know how
just even the close you know, so it was all sort of filtered through the station back in the day. I could imagine most shows it's all through the station but then there's this sort of area you're building around like you've got your website you know you
Yeah, I never felt like I was
limited by the station. I know. It's a strange thing. When you look at brand
I've always said that, you know, with with something like Foxy family, you've got a very huge heritage behind that station and people come to the station because it's Fox FM, but they stay because of the people on it. So kind of there's a there's a symbiotic relationship but in a way that people aren't need to exist separate two. And that that's how it always felt, I guess.
Yeah, you're not showing up in search for either about cancer.
Hey, there's no day just real Joe Stanley. I'm not the Smalling I don't have a title
there I am. I'm doing this I you
know, because I was looking at her I was I saw your Twitter I saw everything else I'm like, Where is your Instagram going?
doggy dogging me to
give you a small tip top place. So you've got real Joe Stanley as your Instagram handle. If you update your name to Joe Stanley then when people search Joe Stanley
down a Yeah.
Joe Stanley, you want come up?
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, like if you look at mine, it's like chance but then.
Yeah, they got little social media. Yeah, it's good.
Yeah. Did you know that night? No, I actually had problems trying to find I was trying to find it just before I couldn't find it. But then yeah, just touch it then. And that was just
An old lady very happy.
So the social media thing. I wasn't actually listening to the last bit because I was I can't do two things at show
no one can people see they can but they can't. We only have one focus, man.
No, I'm talking about focus. Do you look much into the future? I know you're all conscious and present, but are you thinking about?
Well, I I made a vision board this year. Have you ever had a vision board?
once and it didn't work? So I scrapped it?
Now? I bet you did. You had it was a channel 10 job wasn't it? didn't get it. Get it to that.
On the vision board, though, yeah,
the only reason magazines are still a thing is for people fucking cutting out.
I was printing. I was printing stuff.
I googled how to make a vision board, right. He's fucking Pinterest. Anyway.
Well, it said you go to magazines and you cut it out. I'm like, why would you today? Would you just Google the image that you want?
printed. If you sort of During that time,
I was trying to return my smoothie machine it broke. But yeah, I was trying to print off the little label and stick it on the box and we didn't have any sticky tape. And we didn't have any ink for the printer. So not such as it printed out a barcode, but it was everything was just like missing. It was
People get road rage.
point is I don't know anyone that's had a great printer. I don't know anyone that's like oh, my printer. Great printer, but it was my mom's and she looked after it. So when someone else looks after us, yeah. Troy Kenny thing where it's like, oh, it's the magic. Washington like my washing just gets done somehow. So did you print you printed things for your mood board? Yeah, your vision board? Yeah,
yeah. Okay. And so what was on it would you put, um, I haven't finished it have been it's already mad. It's like the back of my door of my study. So the images are quite being So the sorts of things I put up there,
I've got a because I've read this book called get things done,
or you get things done yet, right?
So you know, he talks about how you only want to think about the point of impact. That's, you know, a to use a tennis analogy. When you're getting things done, you want to think about this moment again, point of impact. So I have a, I have an image of a tennis ball hitting a tennis racket on there, that kind of stuff. I haven't even just someone running because I want to do more running
tennis just so it's good to
know. I'm not.
No, not at all. But the image is like, you know, I've tennis players don't think about if it's going to go over then it is only thinking about hitting that
bracket. That's where I think I do wrong, because I'm trying to get them over the net. Yeah. And if you not if you don't have that as the default, because they've obviously gotten to a point where it's like, I know I'm getting it over the net. Yeah. Where it's like for me, it's like it's still a thing, but I like that and
so is it what other stuff like
A lot of sayings. So some of my mantras I'm mad for mantras right? I think that they it would you say mantras? I don't know, mantras, mantras. It does sound a bit wonky though, but I don't I don't like mantra. So I say mantra anyway, whatever. Things like I dwell in possibility. Emily Dickinson said that,
and I like that, because I have that again, please, I dwell in possibility dwell in positive dwell is sort of a negative word, don't you think I dwell,
why just means to live. I dwell
because whenever you think of dwelling on something, it's like thinking, right? We get the official definition of 12 you're definitely right. But I'm just I've never heard it without within the context of a
live in or at a specific place.
I dwell in possibility. And and one of the things I love that that sounds a bit dark, but Emily Dickinson ended up actually suiciding which is very sad. But I guess to me, not that I've ever been suicidal, but I suppose I'm I'm inspired by the fact that someone can say can actually leave with a mental illness and still say something like I do only possibility. Because that is to me that is the dichotomy of mental illness that you can actually feel really amazing and still be struggling with mental illness. You know, and sadly, for her, the mental illness ended up taking it but so yeah, I dwell in possibility. And what else have I got? Um,
so this again, I'm
loving it. Hey,
I'm asking let go of
this is a part of one of the quotes I have up there, which is a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive, which is in relation to your creative endeavour, which can sometimes be really torturous and you feel like there's people going a lot of people don't like it. What if no one knocks it? What's not really important if I like it, it's it's just Something that you have to do you're a conduit for the voice inside you that needs to get out there right so I bless it unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more life that's for Martha Graham. Slower point
I bless it unrest blesses unrest that keeps us marching keeps us marching and makes us more alive.
pretty beautiful. Martha Graham, who was the godmother of contemporary dance said that
and so do you use this board? Is there like a goal you know, like you thinking I can imagine back in the day people using this to
what a Rolex and shit
like he's what I want the house Yeah, I want to Korea there's the position that
I just don't think the universe provides in that way. Yeah. Like if I put a Rolex up there. I don't think I'd ever get a Rolex doesn't just magically appear.
I put a picture of a role. I guess when people's push back on vision boards. I was like, yeah, it's just putting pictures up on a wall.
So for me, are you go Sarah
goes I have been in the past I think I've and they've worked, I do like a do a dump at the end of the day.
would like to achieve right, and then you do that again each year. And you can look back and you go and so I think I look at the goals or at least I'm thinking over a lot of the things I want to achieve constantly. Yes. So it's it's not like a right house, you know, right. I want this type of car. No, right. But I am goal, focus
on such amazing output of content. And you've obviously set yourselves goals that like, you know, we're going to have the media company we're going to do this and that and podcast and like, you've really done it right. You've achieved it. So you must have set yourself those goals.
Like I think that's one of the things is like I heard someone say like balance isn't about having everything right at once. It's about like a seesaw. Right. And I think that that's like part of it is I think everyone's trying to get everything at the same time. Yeah. Whereas if you can just like focus, and so like, personally, I'm an absolute mess. But
even back in
that last product really, that's quite good. And so yeah, I think the balancing is interesting.
So for me, I've been a goal setter in the past of actual things I want to achieve. And I've, in recent years been very frustrated about the fact that I've not been able to do I'd like I get to the end of the year and my not a year without having done that thing, right. So my new approach this year, is to not put Okay, I'm going to write that novel. instead. I'm my vision board is about the quality I want to embody more this year, which may end up being a novel qualities exploration. I love that. So instead, I'm putting up things like we're images that remind me as I sit at my desk, I look at it and I go, Oh, yeah, exploration is all that matters. It's the process, outcome. Don't even think about it. Just the process. So then I insist every day, every week, there's one day a week where I sit and I just write exploring my voice. It might end up being a novel, but I haven't put that on a goals list. So it sits there like, you know, someone glaring at you across a pub because I hate you. You know, like, you know, there's a bad smell in the air that kind of that sense when you look at something on a to do list that you haven't done.
constantly looking at where I am right now where I want to be
fucked, I'm never gonna get
Yeah, you really feel the distance between where you got to where you've got to get
whereas I can. I can embody exploration any day of the week, and no one knows whether it's done right or wrong because
there is no right or wrong on New Year's Eve. We had Dr. Jason Fox, one of our mates and he he's got choose one. What kind of doctor is he? philosophy? Yeah. And so he's smarter than 977.
You got nine chances. To
definitely. And so yeah, talking about the woman One thing what was yours? TJ? What's your? I can't remember isn't that fucking bad we should have
made like a word that represents
yo doing explorations your word and so it's sort of driving your decisions.
Yes, right. They say archetypes are good. Like if you pick an archetype then you can sort of really embody it. Yeah
yeah, so what was your word?
I'll come What was my seriously what was my word last quality? No so that was the before no with you before was quality quality consumption was my yourselves conscious consumption last year and this year was quality right?
is very funny but main so quality That's right. It's about it's actually about being present. So with us about when you're here you're having the quality time when I if I am to buy things rather than just fucking replacing shit all the time you buy the quality product or on You went for the more expensive massage place Yeah, exactly. Well I didn't yeah and also your quality in regards like person like that whole like you have one body thing, but I'm still dialling it in
it's leaned over Darrell Lee you know
there's also um I like I buy Voss water the things that really good your consumer Yeah,
I'm familiar with vorse What do you say what are you talking bad?
quality? No, no.
Just like right that is a muscle I get that bottle and then I fill it up. But I was like, feeling like I would have a plastic one that was
you get cold Atlas for having a boss by glass.
You have like a like, you know, I've got a like an actual drink bottle that you bro I do
That's why I'm doing
I just want it to be.
I have a cape camp.
Oh, nice class. Okay. I'm wanting to get the Let me do one now that holds the temperature in probably
overthinking it might just that's
Well, last year I had consistency. And I really nailed that one this one this year. I think I had adventure
when I've let it slip. I've I've I'm just trying to find the balance. So last year I really nailed this
adventure. Well, consistencies easier I think than adventure. It definitely is because consistency you you know, if you're like, well, all I need to do is eat a vegetable every day.
Out of applying that's quite different. Is it very difficult nights are around consistency. It's simple. Do one thing every single day. Yes, sounds simple. But it's the hardest thing
of course, it's hard. But to me much easier than jumping out.
Because also there's no judgement that you could you went saying that you're like consistently great or like you're just, you can be like a piece of shit but consistently epic. A shift I definitely wasn't.
But I but the thing is so he you do it right and so I haven't I've meditated every day. Since last year. We sent it so you're saying
you're still consistent?
Yeah, you building these habits show around the system. See?
So adventure. What does that look like? Because you can be creatively adventure. Yeah.
The thing is a clump. Oh, it's not even happening. But what do you mean? I know is in it was an adventure club it was trying to implement more these things like to actually do more. The problem is it comes the weekend then you just going to be with the kid
we're still doing the magic club on the 29 website.
I think I think you know, we all feel this pressure to have like a hobby, you know, or to do stuff with your time and don't reckon all of us just want to be really simple and hang at home with the people we
love. So I think this is the person that you think you are so it's like I love bike riding. I love to skateboarding, you know, like, but how many times how often do you do the thing that you sort of identify with identifies a big word, but it's like I've done a lot of this in my past. But I find that you can be distracted from life of a child to a bloody the daily talk shown, and there's your time gone and a business, but it's like, I the essence of the adventure club, or the adventure was to do the things that I actually think I am. But I'm not doing and I
think I well what you're doing is setting aside time to do the things that we do let go by the wayside. Life is life. And don't they say you know, that work life balance, you've got to really allocate time for yourself. And the self care comes with things like okay, I am gonna happen to I love the idea. It's like having a book club
but like an adventure club.
I've got a book club was I thought we needed benchmarks. And that was First
on the balance thing, because that's what we're talking about right? Trying to find and commit time to do something that we actually think we like when you were in the radio, you know 10 years of brekkie radio flat out was there any balance for you?
I don't know I remember I mean you fatigued beyond you just you know like a jet lag to you so tired all the time.
But you have afternoons you do stop there I don't know. Hey, I
thought you were a better version of you now or
yeah hundred percent but that's because I spent a lot more time on
I'm living consciously against like making choices that mean that I'm I'm I don't think Happy is the right word more content. I felt you know, have more sort of sense of peace about life. And back then, I reckon the busier You are the easier it is not to stay Time on who you are. It's like a good excuse, don't you recognise? And it means that we stay busy. It's absolutely why we stay busy. In fact, for me, I, you know, I had this great gift of just, you know, couple years of not doing breakfast radio, and it allowed me out of the bubble to go, okay, who is it that I want to be? And how is it that I want to live and what kind of person do I want people to say that I am when they've spent time with me and and it wasn't like I would say I was a D I'm a different person. But I just because I think all of those things I was when I was working in breakfast radio, but I just had more conscious decision to do better with it.
Also, I think potentially there's something in the story we tell each other and so the story that you tell now, around consciousness only requires you and your internal self whereas like, I think the Bz the narrative around that people defining themselves through external Things that can be taken away and I think that that's like if you can get to the narrative that's just requiring that internal work quicker it means that you become completely resilient to anything that could happen.
Well I'm because when you're like I'm busy, busy busy doing these little, you're defining yourself by all of that stuff. And and that's lazy and someone can take
away but also it's like, yeah, someone can take it away from me and I think that that's like there's something in when when someone comes up to us and says, You guys are killing it with the podcast. I don't necessarily take it on just like I don't take the negative like if you choose to take the positive stuff. You have to take the name then you have to take the negatives to say the same thing without ratings.
You can say Oh, we got a ripping survey that was asked and then the survey was a bit down. Well that's that's just a normally that's not us, and you
Which I never got
always have a fucking panic on Clarendon street Nando's when they could never keep up with the
I don't have a memory of that
yeah so there was just remember maybe it was a drive thing funny yeah that would always do Nando's and even if it wasn't a great book I think there was a sense of like artefact like well yeah morale we still need to see it yeah they moved to grit they end up doing growth because growth to handle the step up by actually just to check the temperature in the room What sort of basting What do you like? Lemon and herb on it on a mild
as a vegetarian?
I'm exploring a fully plant based diet Yes, right. But Nando's itself I love I love I love the concept. I like their chips but too spicy. I have I can't do Julia lemonade. Definitely limited Yeah, yeah. But
I don't it Yeah, I'm not a not really much for me to eat or anymore even though I laugh, mate, but
have you watched the documentary or you? Yeah, game changes. Yeah,
I watched that I went and not to put a name on it, but it was vegetarian for a month.
And we went to Los Angeles during that time, that great video food, but they always have peanut butter cups. And so I
think Did you tell people Hi everyone, I'm a vegetarian, terrible with the diet set yourself up to
fail every time I'm like, you know what? Because I watched this TED Talk where it's like, if you tell people your goals, are they creating the box and you don't have to do it anymore? I can do it every time.
I also think there's there's a coping mechanism. I took a year off drinking last year, and I had a lot of focus on not drinking. And so it's a similar version of thinking about wanting to have a drink versus I'm not going to you start thinking about all the things so you don't that are in the way of getting a drink. And then after a while, you end up not having that patent of wanting to have a drink or caring about you know, because the answer's no. But when I always get it why people who are going plant by still vegetarian need to talk about the factors it's actually to convince yourself to keep the habit. Build the habit in
Yeah, definitely for drinking it would be that wine because you'd have constantly my husband gave up drinking and it just I can't believe people were just like, Well, why? Because he doesn't want to drink what but why is that people just like took offence personal offence as though it was some kind of criticism of their drinking. It's like, you do what you want. He doesn't want to drink so, you know, so I think in in, you would have to justify all the time for me for I'm just gonna, I like to use the term flexitarian because I may just eat meat and I have done
don't judge me.
But yeah, that video that film was very committed.
Yeah, just the whole burrito the whole
Yeah, really what it's doing to the planet I
didn't have the the was a game changes that you watched game changes I felt like was one of those tacos that was less about saving the planet more like,
oh there's a tiny part of it. Yeah, but somehow that pop was Gosh This was Oh no.
For me it was I didn't even know I needed to have an erection in my sleep but it's like if you want to have a burner and you sleep you better have that would show upset, Sonia.
We think that's what happens. I have no idea.
Well, it doesn't tell you that as well.
Pay 25 bucks a month.
In advance we
strap the watch.
Thank you for coming on. The show I would love to come back we always ask it on it just so you
know, one of my favourite podcasts I've done Oh, geez I am a soul up for podcast.
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