Not Crunchy At All

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 552.

Tommy: Fat Fridays, baby.

Josh: I am very excited. You have been going skateboarding around Melbourne.

Tommy: Have you been watching the Insta— Instagram stories?

Josh: Yes, I did watch a couple of them.

Tommy: Yeah, I've made all my— I made it from Abbotsford all the way to South Yarra, and I took some back streets and I landed at Taco Bell. This is new to Australia, baby. I actually had to drop a lens off that we used on a shoot, borrowed from a friend. He did the videos for Taco Bell. He was like, I said to him, mate, have you tried it? He said, yeah, I did the videos. I was like, he's like, I was one of the first in Australia to try the food. And I said to him, what did you think? He said, yeah, it's all right. I said, are you a Mexican guy? And he said, nah, not really.

Josh: I said, nah, he doesn't like Mexican food.

Tommy: Well, at least he said it was all right as a non-Mexican food lover, a food lover. Like He wouldn't be a guy that would say island, desert island, one food, one cuisine. He wouldn't say Mexican.

Josh: So you asked, you asked us what we wanted.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: I went through their menu. Hang on, I just need to stand up.

Tommy: I think it's, it's a hefty bag. I mean, the store is, is really good. It's very new.

Josh: The Cali?

Mason: What does it look like inside?

Tommy: Oh, mate, this is yours, baby. This is the Cali no, no meat.

Josh: Oh, great.

Tommy: I'll just slide it to the end.

Mason: Yeah, it's all good.

Josh: What do you reckon? Do you reckon this is mine?

Tommy: Uh, yeah, because I got a burrito.

Josh: What's the thing called that I got?

Tommy: Oh, you got— this is snack, snack, snack.

Josh: Uh, yeah, so I got a little cheesy snack thing as well. Nice. Can you look on Slack to see what it was that you ordered? That I ordered?

Tommy: Yeah. So, uh, all up for 3, 3 burritos— can I guess something, some kind of taquitos and nachos—

Josh: $50?

Tommy: $40. It's actually, that's actually quite cheap. You can see on, on one of my storeys that I did, it was, um, showed the full, full order.

Josh: So the, um, the cheese. So Taco Bell.

Tommy: Yeah. What's your, what's your connection?

Josh: They're not sponsoring. And so I'll say not like a high-end establishment.

Tommy: No, I don't think, I mean, it's interesting brands that sort of don't, uh, vie for that. Macca's aren't vying for a high-end establishment. Taco Bell within the Mexican realm It's a fast food Mexican chain.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: When I was in the States, we were driving— 2012, great year— from Vegas through to Phoenix, and we stopped at this random Taco Bell, and they had like Dorito-flavored tacos, or like hard-shelled tacos. I was like, far out, that's indulgent.

Josh: Fake cheese. Where do you see fake cheese in Australia?

Tommy: I mean, sometimes it's like last Friday night, we, we got, um, we got pizzas and Amy's— one of Amy's friends was staying with us and I said, do you want pizza? He goes, yeah. I said, what type of pizza you like? He's, any type. I said, all right, we'll get— because there's a pizza shop in Bulleen that's gourmet and there's a pizza shop that's old school, Dallagino style, thicker crust but old school. So you like that flavor? It's what most of us grew up on. And we got those two with the—

Josh: so you got two different types?

Tommy: Yes, I got gourmet which Bodhi likes.

Josh: Wait, so you went to two different places?

Tommy: They're right next to each other. And so it's like both came out at the same time. It's perfect. Anyway, so I kind of liked the old school flavor. And I think this is the equivalent of you've got sort of high-end Mexican and then you've got the more sort of old school, shittier.

Josh: Feels like there's not really many fast food Mexican places. Like even like if you think about Mad Mex.

Tommy: Yeah, now they're trying to go—

Josh: Salsa's—

Tommy: They're trying to go premium. This is like a different take. Anyway, I got some sort of burrito with absolutely everything in it. Um, I just, I just saw that what I like about these kind of places is they have photos, like good photos rotating with— and I'll have that. Thank you. They have to.

Josh: What did we get, Sevs?

Mason: You, you got one beefy cheesy burrito.

Josh: This is what I'm eating now, and it's a snack. I've got something in my eye. It's okay.

Tommy: Oh dude, you guys haven't gone outside recently.

Mason: No.

Tommy: A smoke haze has come across Melbourne.

Mason: Oh really?

Tommy: It's horrible. It's like within an hour there's fires in Epping.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: And the Uber driver and I—

Josh: Yeah, what was the deal with the Uber?

Tommy: He was just a nice guy. He just got right into it. He's on the Instagram storey saying happy Fat Fridays. He loves it. He's like, oh, I'm gonna be famous. I said, yeah.

Josh: Did you tag him?

Tommy: No, too quick. Didn't tag him. I didn't also want to ask for his permission.

Josh: This is the first.

Tommy: Um, I mean, yeah, it's, it's up there with the lower end Mexican.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: Which I don't mind. They're going for it and I don't mind it.

Josh: So 97, this is the, this one here that I'm eating is the, um, what do you think of yours, by the way? What'd you get?

Mason: Um, I got the California Burrito without meat. I wasn't keen on trusting their chicken and beef.

Tommy: Are you serious?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: He was saying he doesn't trust sunglasses, doesn't— but you would eat a Macca's bacon and egg McMuffin?

Josh: He wouldn't eat the sausage.

Tommy: The thing about—

Mason: I wouldn't eat the sausage.

Tommy: Australia, there is ridiculous laws.

Mason: I would say Macca's has got better quality than Taco Bell.

Tommy: Well, they're a more established brand in Australia, so like they have got system down pat.

Mason: The, um, Joanne joined.

Josh: Hi, Mum.

Mason: Also Mikey joined, and so Joanne said hi, Mikey.

Tommy: Um, give him a call if you want to speak to him. Don't use our channel. Actually, yeah, use our channel.

Josh: You can use our channel. Sebbs, can you look up who provides the meat to McDonald's? Because you were saying, what's the— is it Top Cuts that was the meat provider of, uh, Taco Bell and In-N-Out?

Mason: Top Cut Meats.

Tommy: I stole their menu. Okay, I don't know if you can— this is—

Josh: it won't tell you.

Tommy: No, not for that.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, their menus are—

Tommy: it's all photos.

Josh: Yeah, interesting. They've got their own app.

Tommy: If you're going to get the nachos, yeah, you— as Josh said, you got to understand it is going to be fake cheese. You can get chips there as well, which I like Mexican Joy's doing now, like hot chippies.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I sort of went more traditional. You were saying that you couldn't charge your phone last night because you were tired. What do you mean?

Tommy: I was spent. I was exhausted and I needed to sleep.

Josh: How do you, how do you charge your phone?

Tommy: Next to my bed, but I consciously made the decision after taking a few painkillers and feeling pretty knocked out. That I couldn't be bothered grabbing the phone from within my bed and charging.

Josh: I've done that before.

Tommy: It was almost like, I don't care.

Josh: Yeah, imagine having an Apple Watch, you do that a lot.

Tommy: And Bodhi did it again where he wouldn't go to sleep, he's restless, and he came and just kept getting out of his bed. And then in the middle of the night he did it again, ran into— I think he was sleepwalking because he came in, he's like, I want to see Santa.

Josh: No, I get that. I don't know if that's sleepwalking, he probably wanted to see Santa.

Tommy: I saw Santa on the way to Taco Bell.

Mason: Oh really?

Tommy: Dude, poor guy, it's 40 degrees out there. It was so hot. The, um, should we wrap up like the sort of eating? Well, not the eating, you can keep eating, but just sort of the experience.

Josh: Okay, so I think that the, um, the guac is actually really good. The thing is that, um, I guess they've really like seasoned it. There's a lot of flavor. They've added some tomato. Um, yeah, really like it's sort of the guac that you'd get, um, at like a, like a dip guac. But I like it.

Tommy: Yeah, it's quite good. I mean, they've committed to the style of food and they're not trying to be anyone else. They're not trying to be a Mad Max or a Guzmán y Gómez. Mr. 97, my wrap. Um, what's your wrap on your burrito? Called it a wrap. What an Australian.

Mason: And then quickly, you probably need the meat with it.

Josh: What's this that I've got?

Tommy: It looks just like a— it looks like a Gronk has tried to fold up a burrito, but he had too much in it. It wouldn't roll.

Mason: It's a Crunchwrap Supreme.

Josh: The only thing about the Crunchwrap with beef, seems very soft.

Tommy: Is it crunchy?

Josh: It's not crunchy. I'll see if it's crunchy on the inside, give me a sec. So where are these stores, uh, TJ?

Tommy: Glenferry Road, Hawthorn, and then one in, um, Chapel Street, South Yarra.

Mason: Crunchy?

Josh: I love that. Not crunchy at all, soft.

Tommy: But good?

Josh: I love it, yeah.

Tommy: Interesting. I'm gonna hold my burrito for after the show. I feel like it's gonna get real messy and I don't want to get it on my rod and gun. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Josh: Was that the t-shirt that you were drying before?

Tommy: Yeah, I, um, I left it in the washing machine overnight, which was fine. Yeah, took it out, dry.

Mason: Does it smell yet?

Tommy: No, no, it was only overnight. If you left it a couple of days, it'd get like that. It's horrible.

Josh: You guys talk for a couple of minutes while I just finish this. Come on.

Tommy: Yeah, Sebs, how have you been?

Mason: Yeah, not too bad. I went to the— I went to the gym last night.

Josh: Sauna.

Mason: The spa was broken.

Tommy: And so, so you went—

Mason: well, so there was no one in the sauna. The whole— so their whole area was like a little bit closed off. The spa was all done. Apparently there's something broken with it, and so no one was there for the sauna. So I had a free sauna for like 45 minutes to myself.

Tommy: Nude?

Mason: Nah, nah, because there are still little kids walking around.

Tommy: If they weren't there, you would go— that's what you're saying? I'm trying to gauge this.

Mason: No, because there's a lifeguard that continuously cheques in on you.

Tommy: So, ah, mate, we had a fucking bingo at the house last night. Amy was going down to get some, um, to get some ingredients for some cooking, sort of late evening, and I was upstairs.

Josh: What sort of cooking?

Tommy: Oh, she was doing some cooking for a Christmas party today, so she needed to—

Josh: like cooking or baking?

Tommy: Yeah, baking, cooking, both. Like cooking a, uh, what do you call it? Tomatoey, oniony relish. That's the one. Cooking a relish.

Josh: She was making a relish.

Tommy: She was making relish. I said you should have bought that.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Nah.

Mason: How much is she making?

Tommy: Oh, she made heaps. It was like a big vat. Oh, so there's a lot. And, um, anyway, I think she, she enjoys that stuff. But then what she doesn't enjoy is backing into the garage with the car. I was upstairs and I just heard this.

Josh: Oh no.

Tommy: I heard the garage go up first and then I heard the reverse and then just this bang. And I thought, oh fuck. Oh no.

Josh: Not the person who got the red light fine. Two things in one week.

Mason: No.

Tommy: Yeah, that is horrible luck. So I went downstairs and she'd driven into the garage. What the fuck? How the fuck have you done that? Driven into the door, the garage door, the roller door. And I was looking at it because it was like halfway down. She'd moved the car forward. Luckily, there's like the least damage. Possible to the car. Like a few little scrapes that kind of like just a bit of dusty bit. It was so lucky.

Josh: What about the garage door?

Tommy: Yeah, the garage door's a bit worse for wear, but thankfully it didn't come off. Is it completely come off the— you can't really tell. I reckon I'll be able to sort of bend it back into place. It still functions 100%. What happened was she'd put it up and she must have been there, done something, and then looked back and thought it was still dark and then pressed it again and reversed. And it must have come down as she was going. Dude, 1 centimetre further, it would have smashed the back window for sure. For sure. And any faster she was going— I must have been able to get on the brake pretty well. Pressed the brake any further, it would have completely fucked the garage. So the garage is fine, the door works. And I sort of just got one of the sort of wheels back into alignment. It's fine. But man, was Amy a little bit rattled? So rattled. Yeah, because she must have just, you know, she have a brain fart. I once left my— oh, how good was the storey from Adam and Simon when how he let one of the— oh yeah, was it? Which one was it?

Josh: Simon with these, with these Ford.

Tommy: What is it? What kind of these little lasers? Was that an Astra? Yeah, it was an Astra. And he left the handbrake off and someone saw his car down the bottom of the hill.

Josh: Not ideal.

Tommy: Luckily, I did that at a 7-Eleven. The worst thing was I had, I'd had such a big weekend experimenting with all sorts of things, and so I was a very cloudy-headed individual and I was like, I just need a fucking Slurpee, you know, you're kind of like, and you don't give a shit if it's the sugary one, you're just like, I need something, I need to feel something.

Josh: Well, the thing is that the no sugar one turned out to have a bunch of sugar. It first started It said what, no sugar?

Tommy: No, it first started saying, um, 1% sugar. So it said 1% sugar, and then they've since removed the 1% sugar label to say low sugar.

Josh: Sugar. Now it's just sugar.

Tommy: Can you look that up, Seb? The low sugar, no sugar. Fuck, they must hate me, 7-Eleven.

Josh: Anyway, Bree had a bit of, uh, her own bingle yesterday.

Tommy: All right, let me just finish telling the storey about in the car. Yeah. So I left— I— it was a manual, and I got in the habit of just leaving it in first gear. It's pretty safe, it won't roll, can't roll downhill if it's in first, it'll lock in. Um, I left the handbrake off and I mustn't have put it in first, and it rolled. And luckily I came out and I saw these guys, oh, these, these workers who had been assigned to sort of fix some piping stuff, and it had come straight for this hole at a petrol station. It wasn't going going towards one of the actual things where you fill up. So no, no worry of something crashing and blowing up. But it was going for this, this pothole that they'd sort of lifted up this thing. My car could have fallen into it, but what it did do was it hit some kind of piping, that a piece that they were obviously using to replace, and it bent it. And I'd— I was thinking, oh my fucking God, this is going to cost—

Josh: like, this is going to be some sort of obscure piece, $100,000 piece of pipe.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: And, um, the guy's like, oh, fuck, he was a bit rattled. And I was apologetic, fuck, mate, I'm so sorry. He's like, oh, look, I'll need to get your business card or something.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: I'm like, fucking apprehensively, it was just a person. Yeah, it was personal training days. Handed over thinking, fucking please lose it or something, please don't ever find this. They never called me.

Josh: Yeah, no, I get that.

Tommy: I think it's probably insurance, like Yeah.

Josh: Oh yeah. And how much does it cost? Yeah.

Tommy: So if it's a $500, like, and then I don't know, I think when you work within a big company, these things are less heightened than when you're the founder of a small company.

Josh: Yeah. If it was PMC's pipe, we'd be coming after them.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: No, seriously. Yeah, seriously. But no, Bree went to a party last night and she worked out that one of her friends had ordered Hey Tiger chocolate.. And so she thought, I'll bring the Hay Tiger chocolate for the friend. It was about $60 worth of Hay Tiger. Bri works at Hay Tiger. And so she was walking up to the house, and the person who had bought the Hay Tiger was just attending the party. Wasn't their party. Okay. And as Bri was walking up to the house, She had a moment where she's like, oh, it's going to look like this chocolate is for the party. So, I'm going to sort of hide it behind my back, like just not make it sort of obvious. And so, she did that and that was all fine. And then, as soon as she got in, she just saw like a table that she could hide it on. So, she just hid it on the table. 2 minutes later, the person whose party it was came running over and said, oh, thank you so much. Bree had put the chocolate on the gift table.

Tommy: You can't— what can you do at that moment? What did she do?

Josh: You're welcome. She said, you're gonna have to, um, said to her friend, look, I'm gonna have to get you new chocolate. But luckily she didn't put a card or anything in that for a friend, so there was no sort of obvious way of knowing. Nightmare. What would you have done?

Tommy: I definitely would have said it's not yours, mate.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: It depends. So What kind of friend? What if you're at Andre's house and I was going and you—

Mason: Oh yeah, no, no, I'm talking about Jimmy, one of you blokes.

Tommy: Get, mate, get your dirty little hands out of that. I didn't bring you anything. I get this is for blah blah blah.

Josh: If it's a wrestling— Exactly.

Tommy: So what would you do, Hero?

Josh: Yeah, I'll do the exact same thing Bray did.

Tommy: Even if it was a very close friend?

Josh: Yeah, I think so, because if someone assumes a gift They're in a bad position. Yeah, it's actually more— it's not to do with you.

Tommy: What's your relationship with the person though? So if I had a solid, very close relationship with the person, I guess, I guess it might— I would just be like, oh dude, get this, tell him, and then tell him this. I actually was like putting it over there because she ordered something, it's very hot. I did, you know, people understand that. I understand it makes—

Josh: bro, you change your tone though.

Tommy: No, I haven't at all.

Josh: It's not yours to—

Tommy: I'm trying to work out how you could do it.

Josh: What do you think, mate?

Tommy: Because I would tell Jimmy, if I can get your cotton, dirty little hands off that.

Mason: Yeah. I mean, if it's, if it's someone who you're semi-close with, then yeah, I'd tell them. But if it's someone that's sort of like one step removed, then no, mate, happy birthday.

Tommy: If you're— yeah, it's too awkward if it was just like you're not that close with them. I get it. And so was that the relationship with Bree and these people? Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, it was sort of a—

Tommy: fuck this t-shirt, by the way.

Josh: I saw you spill it actually.

Tommy: So annoying. I got the fake cheese out of everything on this t-shirt. I brought a shirt though for later because of this.

Mason: Because you knew this was going to happen?

Tommy: No, because I— maybe I did in my heart of hearts.

Josh: Why'd you bring another shirt?

Tommy: Because I want to wear the shirt later.

Mason: You want to wear that shirt later? No, no, the other shirt. The t-shirt or actual shirt?

Tommy: Actual linen shirt from Robbie.

Josh: What do you got? What's happening? Is it white?

Tommy: No, it's blue. Not seeing it.

Mason: No, I haven't seen it.

Tommy: Oh man, I'll have to wear it and show you it.

Josh: Um, is this a Bodhi Daycare thing or is this something else?

Tommy: Oh no, uh, Jules Lund.

Josh: Oh, that's right.

Tommy: And, um, I don't know who else is going. Steve-O, my brother. My brother. Yeah, Steve-O, my brother's, um, he's bitching on, he's like, I've got to cheque the temperature later, it's going to be 40. Yeah, it's an outdoor location, change that much. I know it's going to be horrendous. But, um, at the end of each year, Jules has asked me a bunch of times and I haven't been around.

Josh: And so this time, so if Jules, so if Jules is having a party and he was like, mate, thank you, that's so generous, thank you so much, I'd, I'd say Mate, this is for Choco.

Tommy: He fucking ordered this. Get your hands off it. I've got you something. I've got something coming for you.

Josh: I've got—

Tommy: George is one of my best mates. No, but I don't think it's a— I don't say— I wouldn't even say they've got something coming. I wouldn't lie. I'd just flat out say the truth because it's not the truth that you were bringing it for the party, so therefore you're lying. So I'd bring— I'd lead with the truth. Oh, that's hurt, hasn't it? The lying thing. Because technically it was lying that you like— here you go.

Josh: No, I just think that like— but it is a very Tommy Jack— what you're describing is the Tommy Jacket way of doing it.

Tommy: Maybe I've been in a different relationship with my friends, but I don't think they would ever assume it because I don't think you've ever given them anything. Sure. I don't know why you take it so personally, dude.

Josh: No, I wasn't.

Tommy: Yeah, you are. That's anyone who would say that is taking it very personally.

Josh: No, but I think there is—

Tommy: it's not that funny, but I think that the, the Mason, what would you do if we've got two— if we've got Mason who says if it was a close friend he would probably do the same as me, and you're— I don't even know where you sit.

Mason: I think you were giving it to me. If, if it was, if it was my birthday and you bought some for Tommy and I went and grabbed it, what would you do?

Josh: Say it again.

Mason: If it was my birthday and you had the Hay Tiger and Tommy purchased it and you were there to give it to Tommy and you went and put it on my gift table and I picked it up and started digging through one of two things.

Josh: I'd say, I've actually— I'm gonna get you Hey Tiger chocolate. Or I would say, even though you weren't gonna do that, yeah, oh no, I would say, ah, if, if for whatever reason— because you've got to also work out, does that person need the, the gift? Like, the person who paid for it, do they need that now? So you're also working out that sort of thing. What is your relationship with the person that you're actually giving it to. And so, if you've got the relationship to be able to say to the person that actually purchased it and you can say, hey, this is what's happened, have a bit of a laugh, that's all good. But if the person who's buying it is someone that's a little bit of an acquaintance, then you're more likely to say, oh, actually, that's for so-and-so. So, it depends on who— Where the relationship lies.

Tommy: Why didn't Bri bring a present for the other person? For the party. For the party.

Josh: It wasn't a— it wasn't a birthday.

Tommy: Oh, then that's—

Mason: was it just a wrap-up party or something?

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Shannon said, I would have said, nah, that's for whoever.

Tommy: Yeah, I think there would be a lot of people that say that just because it's like, you'd think the person buying it's paid for it. There's like a bit more to it. And if it wasn't a birthday party, fuck, it's just— it's— I mean, I was going to say sumptuous. That's not a word. It's quite assuming— I mean, to think that someone's just brought you a present, maybe it's a— yeah, maybe that's a bit much. I mean, it's so nuanced. There's so many things that could happen. I think a lot of the time the person who bought it might even interject and say, oh no, no, they can have it if they want it, if you want to, you know. I could imagine that happening, but I don't think it's clear-cut that the way I do it is the fucking wrong way. But you like to point it out that it is.

Josh: Well, I think that potentially— but I think what was— what's interesting is some of these things come down to values as well. And so there's friction.

Tommy: One of my values is not lying.

Josh: Well, that's where you played it into, which is like not lying or whatever. But I think there's also different personalities have different, different ways of doing it. Um, and so I guess from like Bree and I have always our thing is like, okay, just being generous.

Tommy: So you also don't like awkward situations?

Josh: Yeah, no, but the thing is we can make fun of it. Like, the thing is, it's like, that actually is really funny.

Tommy: Yeah, I think people don't like awkward situations. So there would be a bunch of people also that would say, oh yeah, no, that's, that's fine, because you don't want to get into the— that's why I asked who, who the friend is. Um, would you recommend to a friend to go to, uh, Taco Bell? Uh, with the Coconut Crew?

Mason: No, they were— money, Gomez.

Tommy: You're a GYG boy?

Mason: Yeah, yeah. How much was my wrap?

Tommy: I don't know, $40 for the whole thing, so it's like $12 or something. Yeah, it's good. That is quite cheap. It is fairly cheap. It's, um—

Josh: what are you going to do with not drinking tonight? You're going to have a soda?

Tommy: Soda water? I mean, Coca-Cola.

Josh: What is it? What's the cost of a soda water?

Tommy: Fuck, I don't know, it's probably $6. It's probably actually ridiculous.

Mason: Shannon said, Tommy, are you stinging for a beer yet because you know you're going to be bringing it back in the new year in moderation, or is it not playing on your mind?

Tommy: Nah, stinging, stinging, Shaz. Shannon, I'm fucking— that's Sharon, that's Shaz. Shan, I'm stinging. Which, it's hard, like, going out in a hot environment on a summer's day when it's the end of the year. It's good vibes in the air.

Josh: So are you going to, um, no beers January 1st?

Tommy: No, I'm gonna leave it a little bit.

Josh: Leave it because you were talking about potentially doing an alcohol beverage a day, go the other way.

Tommy: I think I'd— I think that would be a slippery slope. I'd probably become an alcoholic. No, well, it'd probably just send me off.

Josh: John Safran said it takes 3 bottles of wine a night. I reckon I mean, that's, that's absurd.

Tommy: Have you seen that Louis Theroux doco with the—

Josh: yeah, that's full on.

Tommy: What's it called? Obliviation.

Josh: Drinking to Oblivion.

Tommy: Oh dude, think about that is, you know, the guy in it when he was sober, you just, he just looked like another bloke, another lad that you, that's just down the pub every now and then at the sports field, and then he's on the street.

Josh: Yeah, just trying to see how much he can actually drink.

Tommy: Oh my God, it's full on. Anyway, so I haven't, yeah, I haven't quite worked it out yet. The thing is, there's no rush.

Josh: But have you worked out what you're going to do for Christmas Eve? Are you going to watch a movie with Bodhi?

Tommy: We're going to, we're going to do like a little slumber party, right? I mean, we've got through quite a few Christmas movies already over the weekends leading up to Christmas. There's some really fucking good ones.

Josh: So what's the routine? I guess you can sort of set that routine early. You're going to say, okay, Santa's coming early, so you've got to get to bed.

Tommy: Amy wants to do the cookies. It's actually— yeah, milk and cookies, leaving out milk.

Josh: Oh yeah, sure, and carrots for the reindeer.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. See, I didn't do any of that stuff because I, because I was a non-believer from early on based on my brothers just getting in my ear whispering, he's not. Um, so I probably contributes to why I've felt like I don't really get around Christmas. I like the festive season, but I think I'm definitely with a child and doing all these things, it makes, it makes you appreciate the magic more. It makes the magic— yeah, I mean, that's like, what's a— what, like, yeah, I mean, I don't want him to be 13 when it all sort of turns around.

Josh: Like, I think, I mean, what's the, um, what's the risk?

Tommy: What's the risk of him, um, severe teasing? It's pretty risky.

Josh: The thing is, like, teasing, like, uh, no, I mean You just—

Tommy: do you think it's a natural evolution where he can just— I'm definitely not gonna pull a Linny J. Mm-hmm.

Josh: They tell me at 13 or whatever.

Tommy: Well, how long do you reckon? Oh yeah, it's a good question.

Josh: How long? Yeah, I don't know, pretty like kids at school telling you. Yeah, I thought they were liars, but yeah, I don't know. No, because I enjoyed it. Like, I think that the thing was that it was in some ways I was very mature And then in this, I just had a bit of a blind spot. I guess that's what it was. But I think there's something so fun in it.

Tommy: Can you look up the oldest person who truly still believes?

Josh: Sorry about crunching.

Tommy: Surely, surely there's someone who's 20, 22.

Mason: There's a Reddit post.

Tommy: This is truth. Every Reddit article's—

Josh: what does Reddit say, Sebbs?

Mason: 15-year-old here.

Tommy: Fuck, that's close.

Josh: Yeah, I think it's good. Like, what's the, um, yeah, do you and Amy see eye to eye around that whole, all that stuff?

Tommy: I, I'm definitely not going to be a monster and come out, come out of nowhere and just break the kid's heart. It's so different to—

Josh: what's the—

Tommy: it's so different when you start seeing them enjoy it because then it's like, oh my God, this is so precious.

Josh: So why do you need to Isn't it just something that he'd figure it out himself? Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: So I'm not saying I'd sit him down, have some talk, like Mr. 97 needs—

Mason: definitely needs a 19-year-old here. 41-year-old on HuffPost.

Josh: Okay, that's, that's a lie.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, and that's the thing, you could easily lie about the belief.

Mason: Good storey though.

Tommy: Yeah, imagine getting on a lie detector.

Josh: I saw something the other day about lie detectors. It was on, um, Jordan Harbinger's, uh, podcast.

Tommy: If you squeeze your asshole, it, um—

Josh: No, it's basically, uh, 50% of the time it's wrong.

Tommy: Well, yeah, I mean, there's all those ways of cheating them. Squeezing your bum cheeks.

Josh: And is that really a thing?

Tommy: Well, because it, um, squeezing your bum cheeks releases adrenaline slightly, like small amounts. He's doing it right now. How many people listening to this currently are squeezing?

Mason: I was doing it. Get—

Tommy: it's like those Kegel exercises, but if you just really give it up, it, um, it makes you feel something, doesn't it? No, there's definitely something going on down there. But so that is meant to be one of them. And then in the movies, they have like a pin in their shoe that's like in the skin, and so you push down on it and the pain releases adrenaline, which like sends it. So when they answer, you have a consistent slightly off reading.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of variations, I guess. Like, if something's stressful for you—

Mason: Well, yeah, well, if you change the baseline measurement, so if you do something consistently on the baseline measurements, then they have an inconsistent thing to compare all your other answers to.

Tommy: Which is the pin, I think, pressing down, constantly having these off-the-charts. What— I mean, if you're— Do we know anyone who knows somebody who's been on one? I feel like it's the ghost thing. It's the—

Josh: What's the— Maury Povich, do you remember that show?

Tommy: No.

Josh: Maury Povich was like, you know, they would do the— they did the paternity test stuff, but they did the lie detector tests. They'd bring him out. It was sort of Jerry Springer style. It was great.

Tommy: But it's very comical. It's quite TV-like.

Josh: I think Dr. Phil even does it.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Yeah. All right.

Tommy: I mean, if you end up on one, you're in pretty—

Josh: Well, yeah, you're— Yeah, it feels like a bit of theatre.

Tommy: I feel like it'd be great for our show.

Josh: So the whole idea, the guy was saying that he was an operator of one of, one of them, and he was saying that it was all— it was just a mechanism to get people to tell you, to break them.

Tommy: Okay. I mean, waterboarding also does that. What is actually—

Josh: so waterboarding is just—

Tommy: it's a sheet, so like you can use a cloth and it's over your face and there's water being poured on. You don't die, but you have the sensation of not being able to breathe because think about the water draining through the cloth and there's like, you could die from it. Yeah, but they hold it on and so you're, you're frantic and then they pull it off.

Josh: Making me breathe funny.

Tommy: It's— yeah, should we do it? No, no, I don't want to fucking do it.

Mason: I mean, I feel like you could probably stay calm for about 30 seconds, but if you're getting not enough oxygen, yeah, it's not gonna kill you. Yeah, so I mean, yes, I guess you can hold your breath for a little bit, but once you've done that, I guess when you're stressed, it probably—

Josh: you can't think about your breathing properly.

Tommy: And when you've just been going down to the supermarket and next minute you're kidnapped and getting waterboarded. Yeah, you're not really up for it unless you're Liam Neeson. Yeah, Taken. And then he's, he's just, he's just having fun.

Josh: P.O. box. We've, uh, we've opened up the P.O. box for cash. Yesterday we spoke about the fact of, uh, people sending money in the post this time of year.

Tommy: I didn't tell you a storey yesterday when we were on that A guy I know, this is so young, I don't know, I don't affiliate or associate with any individual like this, but he was young and lost, lost some money and he was walking home and he's like, fuck this, I'm going to steal some letters, try and find some cash. He lost a $50 note and he stole a card that had $50 in it.

Josh: Wow.

Tommy: This time of year, thieves are out.

Josh: Interesting.

Tommy: Christmas, like, yeah, people sending cash.

Josh: I wonder if there's— sorry, just be safer on the PO box.

Tommy: Much safer. Chinese culture, the red envelopes.

Josh: Yeah, Lunar New Year and all. Is that connected?

Mason: I mean, Lunar New— I'm not sure. Goldie said, no shit, today I sat down with a friend who told me about such a thing. She sent a cheque to her grandson, $50. An opportunist thief was going through the mail in the area, stole the check, forged some extra numbers onto it, put through the cheque deposit machine and into their account. I assume the plan was that if it had cleared within 3 days, then they would have got it. But apparently it's harder if it goes 3 days unquestioned to actually recover the cheque that's been stolen. And so, so I don't know what the outcome is of it, but that's full on.

Tommy: Far out. I mean, cheques, bin 'em. Who needs them?

Josh: Well, the thing is, it sounds like they're actually easier to forge than what you'd think.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: I mean, add a few zeros. I mean, one of my favourite films, Blank Cheque.

Tommy: Leonardo DiCaprio? No.

Josh: Nah, some kid. But he picks up a cheque. It's blank. No, that's right. The guy gives him a cheque because he ran him over in the car with his bike. He's like, get a new bike. Here's a cheque. But he didn't put the amount. And so, the kid put a heap of money and he actually called himself Macintosh. And I was talking to Bri the other day about if we ever had a kid, I'd like to call the kid not Macintosh, Mac.

Tommy: Mac.

Mason: Mac.

Josh: What would, um, what do you think about Mac?

Tommy: I quite like Mac. It's quite like, it's quite, um, common time, like it feels like it would fit in now.

Josh: Mac. Mac Jansen.

Tommy: Mac.

Mason: Mac Jansen.

Josh: Hey, Mac, what do you think?

Tommy: What's, um, what would it be?

Josh: Macaulay?

Tommy: Macaulay? Like, what's it short?

Mason: Mac.

Tommy: What's it short for?

Josh: You know, like, oh yeah, sure. No, it would just be Mac. Macintosh. I think it'd be poor kid Macintosh Jansen. I think that's good.

Tommy: Maybe middle name.

Josh: Have you got any names for potential kids?

Tommy: Ah, you and Tally talking through this?

Mason: Yeah, maybe. No, I do, I do like Charlie. You brought that up, Tommy. I've never actually thought of the name Charlie, but girl or boy? Yeah, I feel, I feel like girl Charlie.

Tommy: I like it for a girl better.

Josh: Um, any others?

Tommy: Mason. Mason the Second. Are you one of the— do you reckon you'd ever go Mason again?

Josh: What if we were actually— if you were to, like, as a kid, I feel like we all had names that we wanted to call ourselves. If we could call ourselves a different name, what would be— if you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I thought Jason was a cool name.

Mason: Well, see, I, I was reading— I got hooked on this book series and the main character was John. And so I wanted to change to John, but looking back, horrendous name. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?

Tommy: He's an old soul, he gravitates to John.

Josh: John.

Mason: But it was just because I was obsessed with the character, but the name John is horrendous.

Tommy: I've got a mate named John, settle down. Fuck me, Johnny Holdsworth, shout out to you, I know you listen, love ya.

Josh: No, we, um, uh, Elliot was a name that I, oh yeah, I thought was good. These are all in family, but then, uh, we're seeing people around us call their kids these names. Luckily, we're not planning on having kids, but it would be very annoying if you had a name and then it was getting potentially used.

Tommy: Lead with it as soon as the pregnancy happens, 8 weeks in.

Josh: Really? Name already?

Tommy: That's what we did.

Josh: I mean, put on your Instagram bio before it even happens.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, that, yeah, a bit risky, but, um, definitely leading with it to tell other people future kid names. My brother didn't tell me his kid No.

Josh: Is it?

Mason: Why?

Tommy: The first one definitely didn't. I think second one he did. Yeah. But yeah, I think it was for the fact that a bunch of people around him having babies. Maybe. I don't know. There's something nice to find out.

Josh: To reveal. To reveal.

Tommy: Maybe baby.

Josh: It's an unnecessary stressor, isn't it?

Tommy: Definitely. That's why we led with the sex and led with the name.

Josh: I saw someone call their kid middle name Valentine.

Tommy: Cute.

Josh: But which is the Bodie's middle name. But they weren't born on Valentine's Day.

Tommy: Absolutely not. So we weren't going to do it. We just thought— we got told, oh, it's going to be around Valentine's Day that the baby comes, and then smack bang Valentine's Day, 9 AM. It was perfect. I don't think it works otherwise.

Josh: What's your middle name, 97s?

Mason: Thomas and then Mossop.

Josh: Oh, that's right, two middle names.

Mason: So Thomas is my I would say my middle name, and then Mossop is my mum's last name.

Josh: Legal?

Tommy: Is it on a document?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because my mum and dad haven't married yet, so I have Mossop and then my last name.

Josh: I never knew that.

Tommy: You know what would be cute? You becoming a celebrant. No, I didn't. You becoming a celebrant, doing your training, and then marrying your mum and dad. How fucking sweet would that be? I mean, what an angel. What an angel.

Josh: So what's the, um, because, uh, yeah, what's the deal? Talk to us about it.

Mason: I don't know, it just hasn't happened yet.

Josh: Yeah, but like happened yet, so it's like still on the cards. They're not like—

Mason: I don't know, I guess.

Tommy: Yeah, easier if it doesn't go to plan. Well, it's never a marriage.

Josh: It's all like, um, de facto anyway.

Tommy: Yeah, true.

Josh: What's some of the annoying— is there any annoyances that come up from an admin point of view?

Mason: Of getting married?

Josh: No, of not being married.

Tommy: Um, the baby. So if Amy didn't take Jacket and she was on a plane and had a boaty jacket, sure, I could get away with him easier, I think.

Mason: I, I think there are probably some, um, yeah, maybe like custody. I don't know.

Josh: Was it ever a thing when you were a kid? Did you think about it when you were a kid? Nah, no, it wasn't really.

Mason: I mean, yeah, I mean, if they're married or not married, it doesn't, doesn't affect anything.

Josh: How did your parents meet?

Mason: Uni, I think.

Tommy: We're going to be at uni. We could ask them.

Josh: They're not going to be there.

Mason: I don't think they'll be. I think Mum, maybe Dad will be home. Mum won't be. She'll be at work. I think they met at— Didn't feel like— I don't know what it's called. Maybe Otago University in New Zealand.

Josh: You don't have to give specifics.

Tommy: I met a woman the other day this week that is going to the UK. To get— married's not the right word. So this, the—

Josh: getting it sealed.

Tommy: Yeah, they're signing, sealing, and delivering. It's a— it's not a same-sex couple, it's a heterosexual couple. Uh, the, the man doesn't like marriage and what it stands for. It's fair. In the UK, you can now do the ceremony that same-sex marriages have.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: Which sort of formalises it, but it's not a marriage. So it's not all the jargon of marriages between blah blah blah.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: Which is an interesting approach.

Josh: So is it— is the, um, same-sex marriage in Australia— is it— could you— can you not do that in Australia?

Tommy: I don't know why they were going to the UK.

Josh: Union, whatever.

Tommy: Maybe it's— is it civil union?

Josh: Is that what it's got? A civil union?

Mason: So it's civil partnership.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Is that in the UK?

Mason: Yeah, this is in the UK.

Josh: What about in Australia? What have we got?

Tommy: I thought—

Mason: I think Australia is exactly the same as normal marriage.

Josh: Yeah. So they've legalised marriage, but so some people don't want the name, like that whole man between a man and a woman thing would be different.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they just riff it. Oscar Gordon, who's been on the show, his mum married us. I mean, I'm— and Oscar's gay and she has this, you know, she as a celebrant has this great line and I can't really remember it, but it was something to do with it's not just between us. It was beautiful. This was before it was legal.

Josh: Before it was cool.

Tommy: Before it was cool. And so I really appreciate that everyone's just fucking at the wedding. It's really nice because it's such bullshit old law that was in place. It was still illegal to be gay in Tasmania in the '50s, something fucking ridiculous like that. Pull your head in, guys. It's all good now.

Josh: PO Box 400, Abbotsford, Victoria 3067. Send cash, send any currency, anything that you could buy things with. Send us diamonds, gold. Anyone else 97 on the, on the chat?

Mason: Uh, Shannon says a civil union.

Tommy: Civil union. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Shannon.

Josh: Uh, okay. Yeah, I don't feel that good after eating.

Mason: It's, uh, you've got your meal in the fridge as well.

Josh: Yeah, I've got a muscle menu. Is that gonna be It'll have to be because it's— yeah, very— I mean, yeah, I ate the whole thing.

Tommy: You did well.

Josh: Not crunchy at all. I think that's the big— the biggest criticism, no joke. Even the nachos, not crunchy.

Mason: Uh, the one was completely soft.

Tommy: Uh, mine was soft too, but mine was a burrito, so I don't know how crunchy it's meant to be.

Mason: Yeah, it was yours. Mine was a burrito.

Josh: Okay, so it's probably meant to be soft.

Tommy: I think it's meant to be soft.

Josh: Mine has crunchy in the title. Did it? What was it called?

Tommy: Uh, Crunchy Flat—

Mason: a Crunchwrap Supreme.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Uh, one thing that is, that is, uh, true to their name, Taco Bell, inside of Taco Bell there is a bell that you can ring. I rang it.

Josh: Why?

Mason: What happens?

Tommy: Ah, they're meant to cheer. It was very mediocre, the cheers. But like, yeah, so it's at the front, bing bing bing bing, and you watch the video. I think you can slightly hear them, but I was like, I said it and I was like, ah, it's a bit hot.

Josh: So it's outside.

Tommy: So it's out the Bell's outside front door, sliding door opens just inside on the right. Make sure you ring it if you do go there.

Josh: I wonder how much you make working at Taco Bell in Australia, because obviously like the, the US, you'd be getting like $14 an hour or $13 an hour or something because there's no tips at places like that.

Tommy: Yeah, fast food. So it's a bit high, like it's a—

Josh: but it's still not like $22 or whatever it would be. I wonder what the—

Tommy: yeah, I mean, I, I could imagine like $17, $18, which is pretty— I mean, pretty good.

Josh: What's the award rate? $97 for fast food restaurants in Australia.

Mason: I've just gone on to payscale.com and just typed in Taco Bell. They don't have an average hourly rate, but fast food worker is estimated between $8 and $18 an hour.

Josh: What can you type in? Award rate Australian fast food. Fast food.

Tommy: Yeah, uh, if we had Karen here, she'd be able to tell us what the Hungry Jack's pays. I think she did say is $16 or something.

Josh: Hmm, trying to think of what I worked at Macca's for a very short period of time as a kid. I can't remember.

Tommy: $12. I remember getting $11.50. Really? That low? Yeah, I mean, I was—

Josh: is that because of our age?

Tommy: I was year 7. Okay, yeah, it's because of your age. You're 7, um, and you have to be 14, 9 months to work.

Josh: You've got to sign— your parents have to sign a waiver thing.

Tommy: Yeah, I was working for my uncle.

Josh: Okay, yeah, so any pay, any work, any, anything there?

Mason: It's a— so for a casual level 1, hourly pay rate is $26, which seems very high, doesn't it?

Josh: All right, $26 for what? This is why George—

Mason: level 1, that's level 1.

Josh: So George Kolumbaris, no wonder he's struggling paying his fortnite.

Mason: Oh, under 16 years old, $8.

Josh: So that's where we need to find him. Yeah, just young, young, young.

Tommy: How many— what's that say? How many production— how many people could work for our production company under 16?

Josh: Yeah. They could be my virtual assistants. Maybe I just—

Tommy: they're real. You've gone a reality assistant, a real one, real life, real life assistant.

Mason: An 18-year-old is $15 an hour.

Josh: So is it all based on age?

Mason: Yo, 20-year-old, $19.27 an hour.

Tommy: In answer to your question, sounds like it.

Mason: I think so.

Josh: Homeboy Jake Instagrammed us and said he would do my admin. I just don't know if I'm ready to pay Australian wages, you know what I mean?

Tommy: I think he's older than 20-something. Yeah, 25.

Josh: Jake, if you're a price match with a VA in Philippines, let's talk.

Mason: It comes on Upwork. It depends if you— where you want them to come from.

Tommy: And Jordan Michaelides, he reached out to me, said he's interested in this, and he said, um, how much you want him to pay them? And I just made up a figure, $60 a week. So the problem is the less you pay them, the harder it is. Like the harder work it is, it's the communication, so you pay more. It's like, yeah, it makes sense, pay a bit more, get, get a bit more.

Josh: I think if we got him on like a $300 a month salary, it's a lot of money.

Tommy: That's quite good. Um, Conspiracy Jimmy employs graphic designers from the Philippines. One's worked with him for 3 years, really good.

Josh: What's he paying?

Tommy: I'm not sure, we can find that out.

Josh: Okay, all right.

Tommy: And then we'll find out what he pays his staff.

Josh: No, it's good.

Tommy: See if he'll go halves on a 16-year-old. Mason, don't fucking look at me like that. I'm a dad.

Josh: All right, Dad. Great Dad. Yeah, great Dad.

Tommy: Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, you guys were saying it so much, so I was like, you're a great Dad. I took the, took the legwork off. I got it to a point where it made it seem less wanky that you boys were saying it, and so it seems a bit more— it's testimonials every moment rather than just the you know, the flog, flogging himself. All right guys, see you tomorrow.

Josh: Bye. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address if you want to send us an email or cash. See ya.