The Gig Guy

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 494.

Tommy: Happy hump day, guys.

Josh: Yeah, we're just saying it doesn't feel like Wednesday, but it is in fact Wednesday.

Tommy: Yeah, it's because we've had a big week. We're out last night at a gig. That's what we do.

Josh: Yeah, just, uh, just hang in.

Tommy: No, there's no dabbing at a Courtney Barnett gig.

Josh: I know, it was— I absolutely loved it. Was sort of I didn't listen to her music before the performance.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I feel like I could go either way. Could be the type of guy to look up everything there is to know about Courtney. So then I could sing along and lecture everyone about sort of fun facts. Yeah. But I went completely blind not having heard her ever before.

Tommy: Yeah. Well, Melbourne artist. Amy's suggestion, or Amy actually said to me, the live thing does something completely different to you. So like you win people over doing live things. And so because you see, you get— it's such a— especially the one we went to was like an intimate MTV Unplugged Melbourne. It was sick. It was like a recording of the TV show.

Josh: But I also love acoustic covers. Yeah, there was some covers too.

Tommy: Definitely some covers. There's some, some really good ones and then her own tracks. But Confessions of a Gronk. Let's kick it off there.

Josh: Yeah, okay, great.

Tommy: Uh, one from last night, but I won't hit you with that one. I'll hit you with the Monday's one. They, they tie in together. Right, how about we're doing a film shoot up in Sydney. I'm on, on the camera. I got the camera in my hand, big EasyRig on, up close to a guy, getting good audio, nice, nice visuals. Uh, we told everyone who's being the— oh yeah, we told everyone to turn off their phones And then whose phone?

Josh: The reason— can I say why I asked everyone to turn off their phone? Because so your phone went off, it was some sort of calendar noise or whatever. And so I was like, oh, that's a good prompt. Everyone, oh no, put your phone on silent.

Tommy: No, no, no, it was the other way around. The guy's phone went off, someone's phone went off, it wasn't mine. But then I was like, yeah, surely I've got mine on silent because I'm the video person, I'm the guy with the camera. The camera person usually always knows what to fucking do. No, the calendar invite went off in my pocket. And so, little ding. Anyway, last night.

Josh: But also on that. So, I'm there doing the interview and Tommy's on the camera. So, I let the guy finish. He's like, so, guy's mid-sentence. Ding. He keeps talking. I was going through the footage.

Mason: I saw it. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: I think I did a bit of a, let's do that one again.

Tommy: Should we just—

Josh: Yeah. I didn't have to say anything more than that.

Tommy: But then last night, Mate, this was the best one.

Josh: So, the MC says, alright, guys, this is a recording. This is, you know, intimate show.

Tommy: I actually didn't hear that because I had my phone out at that point, just trying to film, not thinking.

Josh: And so, he was like, you know, don't— Try to avoid using your phone or at the very least, don't put your phone up really high. Up high, right?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so, first of all, after he said this, no one in the room has their phones up at all. Tommy Jacket has his phone up.

Tommy: In defence to that, I was speaking to the team from MTV and I talked about like, are you guys wanting people to film? Or like, what do you, you know, with your phones, like people creating content? He's like, she said, yeah, back in the, like in the past we've said no, no phones. This time where it's okay for people to film the gig while it's happening. And so I had the, I had the inside word.

Josh: And you were— it was okay because you were right at the back.

Mason: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: So that was fine.

Tommy: I wasn't at the front.

Josh: But then I turned it off.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, I brought it down, put it between my legs.

Josh: And then as they were introducing Courtney onto stage, was it even like the just the first, like, note of her first song or was it like—

Tommy: No, no, no. He literally said like something like, please welcome.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Ring, ring, ring, ring. My phone rang as they were like throwing. So it was probably a crucial bit to the recording.

Josh: You also love yelling out things.

Tommy: I'm at a concert, mate. Don't tell me what to do.

Josh: I just don't think you need to yell. I was just thinking, and I even see like when the, when the band is walking past and all that sort of thing, I see you like your lips. Yeah, I'm moving. I'm like, just don't focus.

Tommy: Do I just put out a hand? Do I grab?

Josh: Yeah, but like I could see in a moment, don't do any of those things. No, don't put your hand out. Don't grab.

Tommy: You can't.

Josh: But we are minor Melbourne celebrities, as I like to call us, for the first time. Great.

Mason: Jake just said, Josh is getting so much leg out for the livestream viewers.

Josh: Oh, yeah, I do have a lot of leg out. Sorry about that, Jake. But no, I—

Tommy: Or he's not sorry.

Josh: Yeah, 50/50, actually. Oh, I'll have to post of it. I took a photo of me in the lift on my phone, which I'll have to show you guys. But it was just, I was trying to be funny and it's got my legs.

Tommy: That's not that funny.

Josh: No, it was just this whole thing. I sort of like did this like pose. Miley Cyrus.

Mason: You actually, you actually like trying to take a photo.

Josh: Yeah, but I was like almost doing like a sexy. I've seen like Miley Cyrus has been going crazy at the moment with like, is she, I don't know if she's having a meltdown.

Tommy: I mean, the nipples out. Have you seen that photo? Holy moly.

Josh: I never knew what they used, you know, the burn tool on Photoshop.

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Josh: Burning. It's like the old school. You wouldn't know about this.

Tommy: No, it's just like blurs.

Josh: No, no. So, there's dodge and burn. These are old like film techniques. And so, like fucking Ansel Adams back in the day when he's doing the big landscape shots, you have to like burn the area that is like lighter if you want to make it darker. So, it's just a way of making a few shades darker. Okay. Yeah. Feels like potentially Miley Cyrus used the burn tool on her nipples. On her nipples. Yeah, which is like, it's fine, whatever. But I just noticed that there was, um, there's been a bunch of those photos, which is why I took that photo.

Mason: Great. HB said hey guys.

Josh: G'day HB. Uh, the reason I was saying that we're Melbourne minor celebrities was because we did do the whole in front of a photo wall picture thing.

Tommy: Yeah, we did.

Mason: I'm glad you got that recording, by the way.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I did record it. It's on Insta storeys right now if you have a look.

Josh: Why are you glad?

Mason: No, there was just— because you, because you were lining up in the queue and you weren't sure how to approach the photo in terms of, are you going to put your arm around Tommy? But in the moment you just lead with it. Oh yeah, yeah, Tommy, put your arm around me.

Josh: Yeah, well, I have to direct because otherwise it just feels, feels a bit weird.

Tommy: I think you did the right thing. I mean, the girl that was there in the pink jumpsuit or what, like outfit. She just leant into that. She's by herself asking the professional camera person to use her little point-and-shoot camera, not even her iPhone. She's outsourced her photography to the professional one.

Josh: Just having options.

Tommy: And then she's fully posing. You know, it's interesting. I mean, it's definitely just like a— you remove that, all that thought of what other people might think, which I think it— yeah, it's fine. So you leant into it.

Josh: Yeah. I mean, I'm excited. We're doing some stuff with Visit Victoria and MTV. Where we're going to go to a bunch of music events.

Tommy: Yeah, a bunch of live shows.

Josh: And I'm excited to be like a live show guy. Like, I'm excited for that to be like not part of my personal brand. Let's not like talk about it in that language.

Tommy: You the gig guy.

Josh: But yeah, I just like the idea of just that there's, there's something about it that's like, because I also think I'm like, what else would I be doing right now if I wasn't here? 100%.

Tommy: I think I've never gone to a gig and thought 'That was the biggest waste of my life.' I've always gone, 'I really enjoyed that experience.' It's just the getting off the couch and making your way to the venue. I mean, we did get a kebab before, which was lovely.

Josh: Falafel.

Tommy: Falafel kebab. So I mean, yeah, you make a night of it, which is what we'll be doing. Yeah, making a night of it.

Josh: I enjoyed it. But I also think that the acoustic part of it is like the unplugged element. I really enjoy.

Tommy: Unplugged.

Josh: Unplugged, just like no electric, like it's all like analog, I guess, or whatever they call it. Non-electric.

Mason: Did they have like— yeah, did they have amps and stuff?

Josh: Well, they had a PA system.

Tommy: It's definitely loud. I mean, that's why when I said—

Josh: I said unplugged because it's like there was definitely electricity. There were a lot of lights and cameras.

Tommy: There was— they're all plugged in, unplugged, but it was unplugged.

Josh: I— man, the, um, the strength The strength of the lights.

Tommy: Got you a bit?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: So there was some moments where, like, near the end of the songs, they would sort of put the, these lights they had in the back of the performers that would punch out to the audience.

Tommy: They were kangaroo shooting from stage.

Josh: Yeah. And it would, it would really get me. But what it did remind me of is, do you remember discos in school? Yeah.

Mason: In primary, in primary school.

Josh: Yeah. Do you remember strobe lights? Now, before you answer, I have a feeling that by the time Mr. 97 went to school, they would have outlawed strobe lights.

Tommy: I can't remember them outlawing them in my schools. Did they do it at yours?

Josh: So, no, they had them, but there was a huge amount of talk about epilepsy and getting epileptic fits. And so, I was like so paranoid that I was going to have an epileptic fit. And so I couldn't enjoy the disco. Like when the—

Tommy: Did they not tell you that it's the bit about you need epilepsy to have the epileptic fit?

Josh: But the thing is, when you're in fucking primary school, when you're in primary school, that's the time that you're going to fucking learn if you have epilepsy.

Tommy: Mm. It could come in later in life. I mean, you never know.

Josh: Isn't that against your argument? That like you don't, like you can just—

Tommy: No, but you're saying the first time you'll ever work it out is having it as a trigger for that. Like, I wonder how many people their first time have ever working out, they've never been treated.

Josh: It's gonna be triggered by something, doesn't it?

Tommy: Uh, not necessarily. You can have epilepsy. Like, I used to train a woman who had epilepsy, and super scary. Like, she was telling me once that she went to an event, a luncheon, um, you know, rich Albert Park woman, did a lot of lunches. She's the one that used to just sometimes take me for coffee instead of training, and it cost her $80 for the session. Free coffee for me. But she said once she woke up and she's in the bathroom and she'd hit her head on the, on the toilet and someone came in and sort of found her and, you know, but she can't remember, like she just went to the bathroom. Another guy used to train, he was—

Josh: hey, Rich as well.

Tommy: Yeah, he actually was, actually was. Poor bugger though, he had a— had surgery for his epilepsy and something went wrong and he lost a lot of his short-term memory. So he used to not know my name. Yeah, but he knew that I trained him. And so you'd have to sort of— but he, yeah, his speech sort of went. And so it was a serious thing. But no, it's an interesting one.

Josh: Like, well, yeah, how do you know? So for instance, so the epilepsy thing, I remember just closing my eye. Like, I was just paranoid that I was almost like, oh, don't look, don't open your eyes for too long, otherwise— like, I almost was putting myself into a state. Yeah, right. I could have like placebo'd myself into an epileptic fit or some shit.

Tommy: But I wonder if that has happened, placeboed into something.

Josh: Yeah, I don't know if that's the right language.

Tommy: No, but I know what you mean. You're thinking so much about something.

Josh: So, well, that's how I feel about my arm. I was asking 97 if my left arm should still feel weak from my blood test.

Tommy: Did it feel— How did it feel weak though before? Like, why would it make you feel weak? Like, other than just having a bruise?

Josh: I feel like I can't, like, close my fist. Hurts to close?

Tommy: Uh, that's, that's not good.

Josh: It's not good at all. No, but just do you feel like, do you feel a bit of a—

Tommy: no, there's a bruise on the left side. I'm gonna bruise.

Josh: I took the day off.

Tommy: I had that last week, and then this side, no bruise, just a mark. So she nailed that. This was yesterday, and this was one week ago. Still got a bruise over this side, just like a light bruise. And then over this side, you still got your stamp on.

Josh: Did you shower last night?

Tommy: Yeah, I did. Yeah.

Josh: Kept the stamp on from the event.

Tommy: Oh mate, nightclub days. Oh, you just get lots of stamps. Every week you just see the stamp on the arm. It's a real sign that you've been out having a good time.

Josh: What concerts have you been to?

Mason: 3? Coldplay and Sheeran.

Josh: We were probably at Coldplay at the same time. MCG or what? Sorry, no. Eddie Head.

Mason: Was it, was it Marvel now? Was it like maybe 5-ish years ago?

Tommy: Yeah.

Mason: All the lights, like it had like, yeah, you had an armband or something like that and you'd, yeah, I mean, every concert was like that.

Josh: What? Every concert's like that?

Mason: Yeah, a bunch of concerts. Sam Smith had them as well. I mean, they did, they did flashlights and stuff, but yeah, or iron man lighters.

Josh: Yeah, dangerous.

Tommy: Oh no, iPhones, they could get everyone to bring out, or any, any phone now has a Flashlight, I guess.

Josh: I just remember leaving, like trying to beat the traffic. I was with Byron Cooke. He invited me. He had free tickets. We both worked at the radio station and it's that classic thing of leaving just like when the encore is starting to try and beat all of the traffic. I just remember being very impressed because like we're out on the street and that was still flashing like it was still picking up the—

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: So how does it work? They are controlling the signal.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: That's phenomenal.

Mason: Yeah, they turn it on. Yeah, midway through the show.

Tommy: And then, so what do you do with it? Just bin it?

Josh: Like, you just keep it as a keepsake? Yeah. Well, because we're getting those— when do we get our silicone wristbands?

Tommy: We get them for next week, but it doesn't have lights in it. That's what I want. I want to be able to control people's wristbands.

Josh: Yeah, it would be cool to be able to select different colors.

Tommy: Do you remember the, um, the wrist— the magnetised wristbands that They were flogging that were like—

Mason: The ones that improve your balance and stuff.

Tommy: Oh, what were they called?

Josh: I think Jules Lund got involved in some way. They ended up being a complete scam.

Tommy: Can you look that up? They were the— I mean, also that mood rings. What do you think of mood rings?

Josh: Never owned one.

Tommy: No, they were big when we were growing up, though. Did you remember them?

Josh: Yes. I like the idea of if there's some sort of natural rock that changes colour. What are you laughing at?

Mason: Nice natural rock that changes color. Yeah, they're called power bands, by the way.

Tommy: Power bands.

Mason: Power balance bands.

Tommy: Power balance bands.

Josh: It's got everything that you want.

Tommy: What is it?

Josh: Power balance. Well, I just feel like you would definitely—

Tommy: I'd like to be in a band.

Josh: Yeah. What happens, um, I was thinking this morning Mr. 97 pointed out the fact that, uh, our testosterone is actually at its highest at peak, uh, amount in the afternoon.

Tommy: Uh, is that true?

Mason: I've only heard it on a podcast, so it must be.

Josh: Yeah, have we ever said anything uninformed on this podcast? Never.

Tommy: I mean, fact check, Mr. 97 said some stupid things in his time.

Josh: So anyway, uh, but I was— it got me thinking about the whole testosterone thing and what's— what happens. So like, we For people who don't know, Tommy, for the past probably 8 to 10 months, has been pushing this thing that he's got a lot more testosterone than me. I think I pushed back in the early days just to rev you up, and with, uh, maybe through heightened testosterone, you bit that bait. And so it got to a point where, uh, you decided that for episode 500 we would all get our testosterone tested.

Tommy: Yeah, the great thing is we all got it measured first thing in the morning. The blood samples were all 8 AM is 8:30.

Josh: And so I'm wondering though, where is the fun? So if you win, where's the fun in that? Have you thought about that?

Tommy: Uh, if I win it, I mean, I don't want it.

Josh: I just don't want people to feel uncomfortable.

Tommy: I mean, so if I just look like this, I'll show you the reaction. It could be this.

Josh: So he's just smiling for people who only have the audio thing.

Tommy: I'll just be looking around at the crowd.

Josh: And, uh, you know, what do you think, 97? How do we save it? Like, if we need to raise the stakes or something, you know what we should have done?

Tommy: We should have just kept—

Josh: I don't want to hear what we should have done.

Mason: Imagine if it would have been Tommy's free testosterone. Yeah, your total testosterone and my total testosterone.

Tommy: No, that's just confusing.

Mason: No, no, but that'd be perfect.

Josh: Why?

Mason: Because then you'd probably like win.

Josh: Yeah, I know, but we're not here to bring metrics.

Tommy: We're not trying to rig it for Josh.

Josh: I don't want to— I'm not asking for some sort of Russian Olympics. I want I want to take this out fair and square. Yeah, I mean, what is the annoying thing is that what I was hoping is that there would be at least one metric that I could beat you on.

Mason: But you, you only got testosterone, right?

Tommy: We just got that. Yeah, that's for now. This is a single test.

Josh: And so I think that—

Tommy: but then I think, isn't it like, don't worry about me if I win, it's like whatever.

Josh: But if you win, dude, yeah, no, it'll be amazing.

Tommy: It'll be unbelievable.

Josh: I mean, yeah. Untapped potential. You—

Tommy: I was going to say you could get the testosterone molecule, um, makeup, like the, the, you know, like a tattoo of the— oh yeah, whatever the molecule makeup is of testosterone.

Josh: So if, if we get to a point where we get results back and there's some sort of— it's considered some form of medical condition that one of us have based on it being so low.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Their results.

Josh: How funny is that?

Tommy: I mean, it's not the end of the world. It's, it's a thing that— look at how, how common is low testosterone amongst men.

Josh: Like, if Mr. 97, if it was like, it turns out that he had—

Tommy: oh, he's definitely not, because look at— he's putting on muscle, and you, you have— you need testosterone. And I mean, he's doing it quickly, and he's looking good. High chance there that he's the winner.

Josh: So potentially. Anyway, I just thought I'd bring it up because I don't want to— I was thinking of maybe having a gift for you if you won that I like surprise you with, but double down on the, uh, the greatness.

Tommy: What do you— what it—

Josh: I was gonna get you a t-shirt that said Mr. Perfect on it.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I'll still take that.

Josh: I mean, because when I said—

Mason: I mean, you should have saved it for an announcement and surprise on the night.

Josh: Well, who's got time? Who's got time to do that?

Mason: I mean, you could have just told me and then I could have done it.

Josh: Well, I said to you I had a surprise for Tommy or whatever, and you said, okay, well, don't tell anyone else or whatever. I don't know if that surprise is happening. I don't have time.

Mason: Well, then tell me.

Tommy: Huh? Tell me.

Josh: That's what I'm saying. I told you I've got a, hey, this surprise for Tommy.

Mason: Mate, you're not going to, like, you wouldn't have done it anyway.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Like, you can't take you seriously when you say you've got a surprise.

Josh: Yeah, I know. Or you're going to do something.

Tommy: That's the key one.

Josh: Do something.

Tommy: Can't take you seriously if you say you're going to do something. But what you did do this morning, which I mean, fuck, snowball of influrry, influrry of comments.

Josh: Influrry?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Influx.

Tommy: Influx. I mean, flurry of comments came through this morning. Yeah. On your coffee order. I didn't really get into it, but I saw that there was traction.

Josh: So I knew that. Yeah, you—

Tommy: I've heard all your bullshit before. I hear it daily.

Josh: Mr. Perfect doesn't like my simple, relatable content. A 97 came up before he hands me his phone. He goes, your coffee content's going off. Yeah, yeah, basically it was something like that. Anyway, that's good. Yeah, like that sort of phrase.

Tommy: That's good. So tell us about the coffee content that's gone off.

Josh: Well, no, so I, um, uh, uh, this morning I thought, you know, I need to, um, actually shaved my face. I was like, I'm feeling good.

Tommy: Does that make you feel good? Yeah, I noticed the shave.

Josh: Yeah, do you like it?

Tommy: Uh, I mean, good feedback. Not really, not really.

Josh: Why?

Tommy: Because I, I think that just like a mani— like mine right now is too fucking long. I'm just lazy and I don't want to shave. It looks like a 4-year-old boy.

Josh: So I'm going to be Mr. Perfect for Ip 500 then.

Tommy: Yeah, but I mean, you, you clean shave.

Josh: You have done this in a clean shave though.

Tommy: I mean, that's the closest thing for a clean shave for me. I haven't used an actual razor and, and, um, whipped cream, whatever it is, fucking shaving cream, in 10 years at least.

Josh: And so what's your criticism about me not having a bit?

Tommy: I like a bit of stubble. I like it having sort of like a nice line under the neck.

Josh: You're acting as if we have to go to bed together or something. You asked me why I didn't get it.

Tommy: You asked me why I didn't get it. Well, you literally—

Josh: not only that, but yesterday, and you've gotten a little bit better feedback about my, um, my visuals appearance, appearance, because now you actually lump you into it where it's like, oh, now we need to get haircuts before that 500.

Tommy: But it's in the same, it's the same, it's the same area as admin. I said, well, if I'm going to do it, you don't do anything without anyone else around you doing it for you or booking you in to do something. I think the thing with haircuts specifically, I was just saying get a haircut before episode 500, because I'm going to get one. And so I reckon, mate, come out and get this.

Josh: So your worry is that if you— I think that we've spoken about this before. Your worry is that you get a haircut and I don't get a haircut.

Tommy: Oh, not at all. I just thought you might have wanted to.

Mason: I think he was just throwing you a rope to help you out.

Tommy: Oh, if you want a haircut.

Josh: What does that mean? Why? What? I don't need a rope.

Mason: Because you wouldn't do it anyway. You wouldn't have gotten a haircut before episode 500.

Josh: I almost want to push back and say I'm going to wear a hat.

Tommy: Oh no, wear a hat then if that's your thing. That's your thing though. But then we're going away and you definitely won't have time on the Wednesday because we got shit to do. And then on Thursday we're flying out and then you're over in the States looking like an absolute fucking gromp. I'm just trying to— like, this is— that's my thinking.

Josh: So I'm saying, I get it.

Tommy: If you want to do it, there should be a barber at the airport. That'd be good. I mean, there's—

Mason: do you think there's something in the lounge? In the lounge?

Tommy: Dude, there's boot cleaners at airports.

Josh: So what are we going to do? So lounge, we only have access for 2 of us to go in. Are we Are you guys going to toss a coin or something?

Tommy: Or we're just going to—

Mason: Yeah, we can do paper, scissors, rock like we did last time.

Josh: But are you going to get upset?

Mason: No, no, no, it's okay.

Josh: I received an email.

Mason: It wasn't for me.

Josh: No.

Tommy: We will get to his coffee content. We've gone slightly off, but—

Mason: Just quickly, by the way, Russ says, does Bri prefer the clean beard or— Sorry, a beard or a clean-shaven face?

Josh: Bri prefers a clean bathroom. Which means beard.

Mason: Gem says, get your nails and a spray tan while you're at it.

Josh: That's very classic content. Yeah, we could definitely wax for wax. Oh, I got my back waxed. You know, the only time I can sack— the only, the only time I have ever had my back waxed was in LA.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: And, um, I don't get many allergies, but the, the rawness of my skin— I think I was, I think I was scaring the lady that was doing it because it was just Which is every, like the strips, every time it ripped off, it would be like a rectangle, whatever the shape of the strip was, was red.

Tommy: And on the back, on your back. Well, it is warm. It's sensitive. It happens. The thing is, if you, when you start getting grey hairs, when you start getting grey hairs, my friend, it looks like a big silverback gorilla. He's got big sort of thick grey chest hairs and he's had, and he gets his chest waxed. And it— they're so thick, it like rips out and he bleeds from the little spots. So anyway, you're not at that point, but it is. It's— I mean, I think, Gemma, are we right that it's like it does cause some kind of like redness if you haven't had it done much? I could imagine.

Mason: Gem just said, uh, she'll book us in for, uh, laser, full body laser.

Josh: Um, see, laser I could get around.

Tommy: No, you couldn't, because there's at least 6 sessions that you need to do, and that's 6 times that you need to make an Insta storey on the way there.

Josh: That's 6 times. Is that because we're getting it indoors? Is that what you mean?

Tommy: No, I just thought it's a coping mechanism.

Josh: Oh no, I thought you meant that it was like integrated content.

Tommy: That would be annoying, wouldn't it?

Josh: Anyway, so on the coffee thing.

Tommy: Yeah, so the coffee.

Josh: No, this morning I was thinking about what sort of coffee I was going to have. Bree is in Sydney. And so I'm left to fend for myself, have to organise my own coffee, which is fine, whatever.

Tommy: And he asks why I recommend that he books in a haircut when I do.

Josh: No, but that's not you doing anything. And I don't go to that— where?

Tommy: I'll book something in for you.

Josh: Where are you going?

Tommy: I'm going to Arte and Frank, good friend of mine.

Josh: As in the one that you've been going to for 15 years? The bald guy that I met once? Yeah, exactly. It's got a dog tag. Southside.

Tommy: Yeah, it's worth it though for the cut you get.

Josh: Very sharp. What do you pay? $50. Oh, is that a special deal?

Tommy: Support your mates.

Mason: It's definitely not a special deal at $50.

Josh: No, that couldn't be.

Tommy: I don't know, it's a special deal for the salon. Yeah, for sure. $65 or something for the normal cuts. Fresh cuts.

Josh: Yeah. In LA, in LA, I actually, um, I've had a haircut before. It was the most expensive haircut I ever got. With, uh, this will blow your mind, it was at the Grove, 97, or it was next to the Grove. You know, it's got like the market section. Um, went there, barber did the beard and the hair and also—

Tommy: Cutthroat shave? Like a cutthroat shave?

Josh: Cutthroat shave. A lot of places don't do it now because it's like insurance.

Mason: Was this back in the day when you had your full neck beard?

Tommy: Is it that year?

Josh: Yeah, it would have been like that.

Mason: So they got rid of like a Solid.

Josh: That wouldn't have been that big. Nah, nah, it was with— I was with Bray, so it wasn't with— on my—

Mason: my son. Okay.

Josh: Trip. But the— it was $170 Australian dollars. Bray couldn't believe it.

Tommy: Including ink tip?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, it would have been. Okay. But still crazy. And so you've got to be careful. Something could look a little bit small and boutique, like a little sort of pop-up shop. Yeah.

Mason: Did you get the shock of your life when you walked up there and he said the price? Or did you know entering in, it's gonna be like $100?

Josh: This is the thing with travel, and then we'll get to the coffee. I— and we should have a conversation about it. You can't get bogged down in the small transactions of travel. You need to sort of accept the fact, like, I've had, uh, I've been fucked over by the smoothies before. Remember I spent $40 on smoothies in Vegas? These things happen. And the thing is, what we're paying for is this unique experience of being fucked somewhere.

Tommy: So you need to like You need to accept more pleasurable places you can spend money to get a fuck in Vegas.

Josh: Definitely. But the thing is, I'm serious though, you are paying like— you haven't been to Thailand until like a taxi driver has fucked you.

Tommy: Yeah, like you need—

Josh: there's all these things.

Tommy: Yeah, I know.

Josh: And so that's what I— that's why I think so.

Tommy: You really got screwed with that.

Josh: And so I think— but I think that we need to there's going to be opportunities within LA.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: For us all to be fucked and we just need to sort of accept it. Yeah. Like, not being silly, not, not just being crazy.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But there's got to be times where it's like, oh, you know what? Like, this is a bit silly to pay $12 for a juice, but we'll do it. I'm on Hollywood Boulevard.

Tommy: I reckon Mr. Nice Guy is actually the prime candidate because he wants to eat healthy. He wants to eat raw. Like, I can just imagine he would get trapped into a $16 ball, which means we're trapped. It's our fucking money. So your coffee thing, you breeze away, you're fending for yourself, you're going to get a coffee.

Josh: And so it was hot outside. I made the decision that I was going to move from hot beverages to cold beverages, right? And so I then started to think, with my shift in coffee order, how am I going to describe it to the people?

Tommy: What's the coffee order?

Josh: So how would you describe your coffee that you normally get?

Tommy: Today I went and asked for a strong 3/4 latte in that specific order.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Strong, the reason I do it is because I can't have him fuck it up. I want it to be double strength.

Josh: Okay, well, this is the thing that you haven't necessarily considered. What is their computer system and how are they doing this?

Tommy: I couldn't tell you.

Josh: And so I asked a cafe close to my house, because the way that I normally do it is, can I please have one large strong almond flat white, please?

Tommy: Long, so large strong.

Josh: I get one large strong almond flat white, please.

Tommy: Yep.

Josh: I said, how is that for you? And she said, what? I said, the order, how I said the order, how is that for you? And she said, Uh, and then she was sort of like a little bit confused. I'm like, could I say it in an easier way for you to be able to put it in? Because she always sort of like— it's almost— it's like Fonda. Big criticism of Fonda, they change their menu for one thing.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Secondly, uh, when you go to order, I have the table number in my head. So I'm like, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12.

Tommy: You need to say it like, hey, uh, yeah, just table 12.

Josh: The thing is, the thing is they can't put a table number until the end of the order. And so every fucking time they say, I do the order and then they say, and what table number was it? Even though I've given them the table number. So I understand how these systems work.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: And so it turns out that what the girl behind the counter said was lead with the coffee type, i.e., flat white.

Tommy: Flat white.

Josh: Okay. And so flat white. Large, strong almond. And so when it came to the iced coffee, um, I had a big panic that— Yes, I thought you got 5 minutes left.

Mason: I was doing your thing that you wanted me to do.

Tommy: Josh tells him to give us 5, give us a hand up to say, 5 minutes, guys.

Josh: Yeah, okay, no, that's good, I appreciate that. Uh, no, so I, um, I had an incident the other day where I sort of said, can I have a latte or whatever? Can I make it cold? I just fucked the whole, the whole thing up. And they had different— they had an extra large size as well. It's quite hard to ask for it because— and it, when it goes from large to extra large, it changes the type of cup from sort of your traditional coffee cup to sort of the plastic smoothie style cups, which I sort of like. Anyway, so I did it today. Today I said, could I please have 'Can I have an iced latte, strong, with almond milk, large, please?' That's the wrong order. No, it's fine. It was— she gets it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which most of them should be adaptable. The problem I have is the restaurants you go to where it's like they've just disengaged their hearing. You've said one thing and then they— I've almost— I know that, I know that it is the process. I've bit my tongue so many times.

Josh: I'm just like, what are you biting your tongue at?

Tommy: Just like not saying, you're not listening.

Josh: Yeah, like, are you fucking not listening?

Tommy: No, I wouldn't do it either. I wouldn't do it. That's why I say I have to bite my tongue though. Yeah, it's— but it's frustrating when you just say one thing and then they just don't listen to you.

Josh: Well, we had— Bree and I had a situation on the weekend where we ordered two Diet Cokes and then another waiter came over and gave them to us and said, here you go, here's your two Cokes.

Tommy: There's a problem though, because some places will say that and then you gotta go, Diet Coke? Yeah, Diet Coke.

Josh: Yeah, and because it didn't have like a little lemon or anything in it, and so Bree tasted it, it was like, yeah, no, all clear. So then I was like, it was Diet Coke.

Tommy: I mean, how many baristas are actually just serving up lattes for flat whites?

Josh: I wouldn't even know the difference. I was thinking like, what is an iced flat white? Does that even exist?

Tommy: No, I don't think it does because it's all about the milk froth, right? And there's no milk froth.

Josh: Milk what? You know, milk what?

Tommy: I said it. What are you gonna say?

Josh: No, I just like you saying it.

Tommy: Say it.

Josh: Froth.

Mason: Froth. Froth.

Josh: Froth.

Tommy: Froth. What is it? Froth?

Mason: Froth.

Josh: Froth.

Mason: It's easy to say froth.

Tommy: Froth.

Josh: What? Yeah, uh, there was a time where I got into, um, there's a few things, uh, that I have been caught up in, like getting into other people's vernaculars or whatever. No, I, um, people saying, oh, I'm frothing that. I said that a few times and Bray's like, don't say frothing. No, no, don't say fucking. It's like, you're like a dab.

Tommy: Yeah, well, you gotta be a surfer. It's very like Search culture.

Josh: What about the thing, the word that you hate?

Tommy: What is it?

Josh: Doggo.

Tommy: A doggo. It's a dog. Well, I don't even know what it means.

Josh: Yeah, he got really upset the other day. Fucking people saying doggo. Doggo. It's a— Don't be dumb. It's a dog.

Tommy: It's a dog. Anyway, it's—

Josh: I get that. Anyone else?

Mason: Just back on the waxing thing. Gem said the first thing is that it removes the very top layer of the skin.

Tommy: Oh, ouch.

Mason: And the second is often a sensitivity to the wax. Grace said she'd love to see the content from a laser session.

Josh: Yeah, great, Grace.

Mason: Um, Dom said, I'm bald and I paid $25 for a haircut the other day. It took ages. He made a real production out of it. There was a hot towel involved.

Josh: Of course. Yeah, all good things end in a hot towel.

Tommy: I mean, there is $25 for a bald head. Bald hair.

Josh: I have heard, I think maybe Karl Baron talks about it, like just there's fucking playing with the head, like, you know, massaging heads, just kidding.

Tommy: Um, at Doncaster Shopping Centre, Amy—

Josh: Shoppo.

Tommy: At Shoppo, Amy got her haircut a couple of weeks ago and I went in to see her and I just look around and all of the people are doing this massage thing to these people's shoulders and I was like, is this place a massage parlour as well? But no, it's just that place, everyone gets massages before they start the haircut. I appreciate that.

Josh: Is it by like someone who has—

Tommy: No, it's by the person.

Josh: By the hairdresser.

Tommy: Yep. Yeah, it's just what's something we could implement in our business before the video?

Josh: Blowjobs for everyone.

Tommy: All right, sicko.

Josh: I mean, massages aren't, uh, I don't like the idea of them doing that.

Tommy: Well, I guess it's the— so it is an intimate service. You are sort of like cutting and touching and getting physical with her No intimacy before she's—

Josh: clients prick their ears though. It would definitely be Tommy looking after that. I'd be getting the camera set up.

Tommy: Anyone else?

Josh: 97.

Mason: Uh, we got an email from Gordon.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Hey guys, I've been watching your podcast on YouTube since Josh did his interview on Matt Diavella's Ground Up Show. I love the energy you guys have on the show, and I thought I'd share something that I thought was funny. I narrate audiobooks and sing opera for a living in the States, and since you guys were chatting about how many Books you read throughout the year. I decided to total mine up. Over the past year, I've read 31 books. Solid. Some for work, but many for the simple joy of reading. That might be a little more than Josh's 10 hours.

Josh: I wonder if he reads out loud. He doesn't have to.

Mason: For the audiobooks?

Josh: No, we're just in gen— Yeah. Like books that aren't audiobooks.

Mason: He's so used to reading audiobooks.

Tommy: Well, maybe it's good training. I remember when I first wanted to be a TV presenter, I'd read my books out loud. In my room. So I live by myself, but I'd read this.

Josh: Extremely annoying habit. I'd read it around.

Tommy: Yeah, if anyone's around. That's why doing it by yourself. But maybe that's how you train to be a radio buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to get, get into some good flow, emphasising specific words, having play with it, get real animated. He loves it.

Josh: Which book?

Tommy: The more animated, um, What to Do with a Chance is his Like latest one.

Josh: What's the deal with that book?

Tommy: It's about this. It's like it's a self-help book, essentially. It's about this kid who, and they, a chance being like take a chance doing something, but they create the chance. Chance is this thing looks like an aeroplane, looks like this little paper plane. It's yellow and it has sort of dust following it. And this kid doesn't take it and he starts not grabbing the chance, continuing to not grab the chance. And then the chance doesn't appear. He doesn't see the chance anymore.

Mason: Yeah, that's a great story.

Tommy: But then he wants to start finding the chance again and take a chance anyway. But he loved it.

Josh: Great. And so you did too, probably.

Tommy: I mean, it's always nice when they're fucking— there's only so much bloody Peppa Pig you can think about.

Josh: Yeah, there is something in that. Maybe if he goes flying, maybe for every book there should be a kids version that you could read. So say if you're reading like, um, what is it called? How to Not Give a Fuck. What is that book? The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Like, what's the kid version of that?

Tommy: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fudge.

Josh: Yeah, oh, that's a good idea.

Tommy: And it's all about a fudge store. Yeah, it's all about— yeah, there's an ice cream store definitely in there.

Josh: How, uh, how many years of this podcast do we have to do before we've written a children's book Andy Lee style?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I'd love that. I'd love to.

Tommy: Craig Harper's written a children's self-help book.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: It's called Brian the Beige Bear. And so when you go into his office, it's up on the wall and he's been working with somebody and it's going to— I don't know where it's at, but he hasn't released it yet. No, he read it out at a workshop, weekend workshop that he did that I was at. And it was awesome. I loved it. Brian the Beige Bear. It's, you know, like, I think— I don't know how old the kid has to be, but It's like Dr. Seuss. It's weird as shit. Dr. Seuss is so weird. That's one of his favourite ones, like some Dr. Seuss book. It's—

Mason: yeah, anyway, get it. Yeah, getting back to the email, uh, if you're looking to get into reading books on a regular basis, just set aside time like you would for meditating or working out at the gym.

Josh: All admin, but go on.

Mason: It's been inspirational to listen to your podcast every day while I work out, and I've learned so much about your culture. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you guys. Best of luck.

Josh: Oh, thank you. The, um, I wonder if there's Australians cringing at the idea that we're representing Australian culture. You know, just, we are.

Tommy: No, it's our own. It's called drunk culture.

Josh: Yeah. Anyone else on Instagram? 97 before, and then we also need your LA fact.

Mason: Uh, Sam said, guests are great but have been loving the last few weeks or so with, with just the three of you.

Josh: Oh, thanks, Sam. Thanks, Sam.

Mason: Pete joined. Goldie Guts joined.

Josh: Hey, Goldie Guts.

Tommy: Goldie, I wanted to message you because I think, um, we need someone to make sense of our tests, of our testosterone tests. And I thought we could all take a photo of the results and send them individually to Goldie Guts, who understands this shit.

Josh: Well, I feel like Goldie Guts is gonna sabotage mine.

Tommy: No, no, no, she likes you. I think she really likes it.

Josh: She had a blow up at me. This morning.

Tommy: I didn't say that.

Josh: BS, she said about, because I said I'm not getting another Keep— I knew that if I take a video of my KeepCup, everyone's going to crack the shits about it. Remember, I think probably like a year and a half ago, someone was DMing me about not using a KeepCup. I've had two KeepCups. I've lost them both. But GoldieGuts was quick to say BS.

Tommy: This is a compostable cup.

Josh: Yeah. So how do we feel about compostable cups? I don't think we need lids. Lids are unnecessary.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Um, anyway, so I feel like— no, 7 is Goldie Guts writing anything?

Mason: Nah, not yet.

Tommy: So I thought what she could do is actually just translate it, write it in a fashion that would mean that it would be the slow reveal. Like, you know, like it's, uh, sort of gives you a little explanation about what we're looking for and the number.

Josh: Is this you saying that you haven't been able to get Nathan?

Tommy: Oh no, no, this is to hand over to Nathan, because imagine handing Nathan just 3 numbers and he like, like he needs He needs with a little bit of prompting. Yeah, with a little bit of prompting. I would prefer to be just having some nice results to read out.

Josh: When's your next date night so you can go see Nathan?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, Nathan, he's joining us on a date night.

Josh: Now when is that? When are you— when are you speaking to Nathan about it?

Tommy: I'm just going to insta him.

Josh: We don't even know his availabilities. Yeah, who's the next person outside of Nathan?

Tommy: Gemma, Queen Gronkh.

Josh: Well, she's MCing. I just think that we need—

Tommy: I mean, it ties in nicely then. Or Goldie Guts, she can come. She's great.

Josh: Yeah, no, I think—

Tommy: I mean, don't think too hard because I'll be the one organising it, so I'll let you know who I think.

Mason: Goalie Gut says, wow, in your head everyone is angry at you, Josh.

Josh: In your head everyone— fuck off, guys.

Mason: Dedicate yourself to a Cape Cup.

Tommy: That's fair, it's fair.

Mason: Anyway, LA fact of the day before we jet off: Powers Place, southwest of downtown LA, is the city's shortest street at 13 feet.

Tommy: 13 feet? Yeah, 12. That's 3 meters.

Mason: Yeah, 4 meters. 3.9 meters.

Tommy: 3.9 meters. Far out.

Josh: Where is that?

Tommy: Uh, Powers Place. I don't know where that is. So it's downtown, so city.

Josh: Could we shut down a street to do an episode of the podcast?

Tommy: Yeah, we've shut down. I mean, maybe it's like a through road for like I feel like that maybe there's heaps of people who are going there, you know. You reckon? Can you find a photo of it, Mr. 97? We'll suss it out.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, we can.

Tommy: Good chat.

Josh: Oh yeah, good fact.

Tommy: Uh, all right guys, yeah, hi.

Josh: Yeah, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. One other thing I was going to say, if you email us and you put in your address, because we don't have enough admin—

Mason: oh, that's bullshit. Well, sorry, not the admin thing.

Tommy: So it is bullshit though.

Mason: I was gonna say I'm just on the street. It's literally— so there's two streets running parallel, one going, you know, forward and the other going backwards or whatever in terms of like the direction of the cars.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Oh my God.

Mason: And it's just a road in between the two.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Yeah, that's what street is.

Mason: No, no, no, because it's like, it's just like a turnoff.

Tommy: Okay, but they've called it a full street. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: We'll have a look at it.

Tommy: You win some comment, you win some LA facts, you lose some LA facts.

Josh: Uh, so what I was going to say, from now until episode 500, we'll shut this off at episode 500. We will do a sticker run because we have stickers and we have envelopes. So if you email hi@thedailytalkshow.com, say g'day, write a little note, put your address, Mr. 97 will send them out next week. Uh, also, if you enjoy the show, you can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Uh, we're on Instagram. Screenshot, share on storeys that you're listening to us, tag us up please, that's appreciated. And, um, give us a break about the keep cups because we're all, we're all doing our best. And the thing I'll say to Goldie Guts is I walk to work every day. How do you get around?

Tommy: I think she works from home, to be honest. No, I'm serious.

Josh: Does she have any lights on? It's a daily talk show. We'll see tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: Hey guys.