The Ultimate Date Night

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 493.

Tommy: It's Tuesday and we will see you next Tuesday at our 500th. It's one week, boys, before we celebrate.

Josh: Do you think there's anyone that's accidentally going to rock up today thinking it's today?

Tommy: I got a message from my mate Tommy D last week saying, hey mate, still tickets available for tonight? It was a couple of weeks in advance.

Josh: So, uh, Ryan John said looking forward to Tuesday and that was last week.

Tommy: Shit.

Josh: So I was hoping— I think he'll be fine. I asked 97, it's like, oh well, no, he said next Tuesday, and then it brought up the whole thing. Yeah, is it this Tuesday, next Tuesday?

Tommy: Yeah.

Mason: Did you clarify?

Josh: Like, no, no, I just said looking forward.

Tommy: You know what could have really stuffed him? Can you go to Josh Jansen's Instagram quickly and read out the post which he posted on Sunday night? So if Ryan had last week sent that, see you next Tuesday, Sunday night, stumbled upon your post, read the post, which, uh, the, the title was, or the—

Mason: have you subscribed to the Daily Talk Show podcast? A lot of epic things are planned for next month.

Josh: Bit of hype.

Mason: If you'd like to follow along, next week we celebrate 500 episodes and head off to LA.

Tommy: Mate, we're in that week. They're not celebrating 500, but Ryan John mentioned next week. You wrote that on Sunday. That was correct. No, no, no. Definitely not.

Mason: I think it's too risky.

Tommy: It's—

Josh: Yeah, it's on a Sunday to say next week.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: But was I correct in saying that or was I wrong?

Tommy: It's the classic debate of when does a weekday start?

Josh: And what do you guys think?

Tommy: Monday starts on Monday. So when we're—

Mason: Okay.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Well, if so, officially it's Sunday, right?

Tommy: No, it's not officially.

Mason: No, it is in the calendar.

Josh: I'm not even debating that, but it's— Yeah, it's slightly annoying.

Tommy: Yeah. But you wouldn't have said 2 weeks away. I get that. Yeah, I get that.

Josh: So what are, what are we all wearing?

Tommy: Um, this is what I wanted to do. Check the temperature for next Wednesday. Sorry, next Tuesday.

Josh: Fuck, you're giving out the wrong information. Tuesday.

Tommy: Tuesday. Next Tuesday.

Mason: Tiff says Monday. Jesus, guys.

Tommy: Yeah, thanks, Tiff. Okay, gotcha.

Mason: Tuesday next week.

Tommy: Tuesday next week.

Mason: The temperature, 24.

Tommy: That's lovely.

Josh: Pretty warm.

Tommy: That's lovely. It's, uh, definitely t-shirt, t-shirt time.

Mason: Oh, 7, 7 PM, 6 PM, 22 degrees.

Tommy: Lovely.

Mason: 9 PM, 17 degrees. So it's between 22 and 17 degrees.

Tommy: That's lovely.

Josh: I'm feeling very accomplished today.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, you were high-spirited in the morning and you've hit an absolute brick wall.

Josh: Well, it's fine. It's like it's 3:39. And so I've sort of— I was talking to you yesterday about the idea of doing 7 to 3.

Tommy: And what time did you get started this morning? Like work-wise?

Josh: Well, it depends with the blood tests. Do the blood tests count or no? No, they— I think they do count if we're being honest.

Tommy: Which then it starts at 8.

Mason: You start at 8:30.

Josh: Yeah, but I had to get there. Yeah, I guess so. No, yeah, I get that. And so maybe I'm, maybe I'm low based on the lack of blood.

Tommy: I mean, I had a blood test today. It's my second. There's no— How are you feeling, Mr. 96s?

Mason: I'm good. Is your arm still sore? Like a bit sensitive?

Tommy: Like— Oh no, not this one. This one. Oh, they did it. You've got both. Good job.

Josh: Yeah, I don't think you proper— properly, uh, told people what happened. So you ended up getting two blood tests.

Tommy: Well, I got 2 blood tests because as I was handing the form to the first nurse who took my blood and it said, I noticed it said on there testosterone-free, and then I went down a rabbit hole that night of what testosterone-free is and I panicked, panicked, and I was like, it's a different test. And we got informed that no, it's going to be a different reading if the other boys are just getting their total testosterone measured.

Josh: Your doctor fucked up because I spoke to my doctor and I was sort of lecturing on him, like lecturing at him, at him, to him.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, always lecture the smarter person in the room.

Josh: Uh, and so that's what dumb people do. So I was just like, no, just, just be clear, I want to make sure that I'm getting the right testosterone thing. And he said no one would give— get you to test testosterone-free unless you've had total testosterone tested. Testosterone-free getting that dialled in is only after the other one.

Tommy: Yeah.

Mason: And why would you want your free one? I don't get it.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't know either. I mean, it's a bit of a weird headline. I just asked testosterone. The doctor did say when I mentioned the renovation looked nice, remember how he said, yeah, before it looked like a brothel.

Josh: Yeah. So it was a little bit of a weird unit.

Tommy: It was a weird unit. Anyway, I went back, got it done. It's getting the results this week and they'll be shared at the 500th episode, which I'm Pumped. Oh boys, did I tell you I went to The Athlete's Foot to track down Nathan? Don't you know? Because we're gonna ask Nathan.

Josh: Nathan, he doesn't work on weekends.

Tommy: Well, Friday nights didn't work. I've seen him in there since. Yeah, I went up and asked, is Nathan working tonight?

Josh: Well, you've— you have seen him since?

Tommy: I've seen him since in there as I've walked past, but I didn't go in and shake his hand and just say, mate, should we just DM him or no? I mean, I mean, that's what I was thinking. I, I go there quite a bit now because I go to the gym there and Oh, over the week. So last Friday night, Amy and I, it was date night. It was a bit of like a last minute mum takes Bodhi on a Friday afternoon sometimes, you know, picks him up at 3 PM from daycare.

Josh: My understanding of date night is it's like a pre-planned thing.

Tommy: So mum was taking Bodhi and then I said, maybe you could sleep the night there. And then she's like, oh, but you'd have to come in the morning really early. Or come in the morning to pick him up. And she said, what time would you like to come? And I just highballed it and she agreed. I was like, because I was like, I would have come at 9, but she said, are you gonna come at like 11? You can come at 11 or something like that. Oh no, that's not 10.

Josh: It's not early at all.

Tommy: Brody wakes up at 6 AM every single day, dude.

Josh: Yeah, that's what you mean. So that's why 11 is not early.

Tommy: Sorry, sorry, sorry. What I'm trying to say is I highballed, meaning went later so we could have the most time, and Mum agreed to that.

Josh: Yeah, so anyway, but your Mum had said she wanted you to pick him up early.

Tommy: No, no, yeah, sorry, I fucked it up. Anyway, you know what I mean. And so Mum said, Mum had him, and then we were like, oh, we finally, you know, get some time together.

Josh: So it was like a last minute, what should we do And what did you do? Did you go to a movie?

Tommy: The, the ultimate suburban date night. Went to the local charcoal chicken. I got a souvlaki, Amy got a little salad out the front. We sat out the front of the souvlaki joint, went to Coles, got a bit of choccy.

Josh: Then we were just describing my evenings. So which is the— when does the date come in?

Tommy: And then we went to have a hot chocolate at Max Brenner, Doncaster Shopping Centre.

Mason: At Max Brenner?

Josh: I think Max Brenner's closed down.

Tommy: There's another chocolate place there. It was disappointing, but the hot chocolate was subpar. It was— Max Brenner would have killed it. But we went and we would just walk through the shopping centre.

Josh: Did you enjoy it?

Tommy: I enjoyed the time with Amos. We didn't really go into shops and we— and so that's when I went in to see if Nathan was there.

Josh: On date night?

Tommy: Well, Amy was like, she was, she seemed keen on it. I was like, we're here, should we see if Nathan's working? She's like, yeah. I mean, we're always up to fucking mischief, always trying to, we're always on some mission.

Josh: What do you, for you, yeah, what do you think, 97, if you were to do a date night and you had to organise one? We know that you're not great at this.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, don't do that date night if you're bloody, don't listen, that's a 4-year marriage.

Mason: If I had to organise a date night, um, actually Rach, who did my hair, she had some great advice. You go to the arcade place near the, um, uh, time zone, ski rink, ice skating rink.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ice skating rink.

Mason: Apparently there's an arcade zone there.

Josh: But so what are you trying to prove doing that? I don't know.

Tommy: What?

Josh: Yeah, I don't know.

Tommy: I feel like—

Josh: can you just think about—

Tommy: can you not use someone else's? Can you actually just use some initiative right now and come up with a date night for yourself? Like, what would you do? What does Mason do? I know you don't date that much.

Mason: I would have done— I would do exactly what I've done on the previous two dates that I went on, or whatever.

Josh: Just cook food for them.

Mason: Yeah, no, well, I wouldn't want to go out anywhere.

Josh: What if you're being judged on the date night? Like, it was like a bachelor.

Tommy: Doesn't matter because you always are being judged.

Josh: Yeah, you've got to realise I was trying to hack it.

Mason: No, I wouldn't change it. Yeah, it's fine.

Josh: Okay, that's fine.

Tommy: Um, who's it thinking of, them or you?

Mason: A bit of both. More me.

Tommy: Is there a reason you wouldn't sort of do something that— if you were to think, what does a girl want to do? So your, your case, what do you think a girl wants to do? I mean, you've got to gauge them, but if you were to sort of just go, a pretty safe date night with a girl could be around this, what does that look like? And it doesn't include your fucking dates that you do, like how you roll.

Mason: Yeah, uh, probably. Well, yeah, you're probably going out, uh, out for dinner somewhere and getting a drink.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, that's always a good start. Yeah, it's hard to—

Josh: I mean, yeah, it's been a while since I've done like a proper— like, I know I laugh at your, um, when was your last date night? Late foot?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Um, the last one before the podcast. Yeah, no, I mean, we do—

Mason: I think your, your date night text that you sent me, this is the latest you said. When was that saying, um, the latest date that you've organized? Was that— was that—

Josh: oh no, that was about you.

Mason: So I know that's what I mean. So you sent me a text because I was, I was staying up late or waiting for some—

Josh: you were what, you booked in a time for our website for the website migration? You said, I've just booked in for 10 PM. And I said, that's the latest date you've ever been on, making a joke. It's like, that's—

Mason: yeah, but I wasn't— because I thought that initially and I was like, I don't know what he's talking about.

Josh: So I just Well, yeah, it was a shit joke.

Mason: Laughing.

Tommy: Dates are so foreign to him.

Josh: Yeah, but he didn't— you didn't write back initially, and so then I was like, haha, thanks for doing that. Like, I didn't— I was like, oh God, like I've just hit some sort of trigger point I didn't realize. So I cleaned it up.

Tommy: What is a date night for you, JJ?

Josh: That's what I'm trying to ascertain.

Tommy: When was the last time you went on date night?

Josh: Um, I mean, we do something most weekends. Yeah, I think there's like, um, yeah, I mean, maybe But that's why, like, you've redefined the date night because you said, I've been on a date night, I'm like, oh wow, like you went all out and stuff. But then you described, you got charcoal chicken.

Tommy: Yeah. And I described it as the most suburban date night.

Mason: Yeah. Tiff said suburban life dreams.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, the point, the thing is it escapes us. Amy and I just can't sort of drop and go out for dinner. By ourselves with no screaming kid. Like, it really— you really do see the— and use that term date night. Like, I know you guys go out for dinner all the time and you're always hanging out, so maybe it is a bit different. Maybe it's—

Mason: yeah, but mate, Gem says, OMG, Seb's date night, this is the content I live for. What drink would you order, Seb? Are you shouting?

Josh: Yeah, what do you think?

Mason: What drink would I order?

Tommy: I reckon he would shout too.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, I would shout, but I would—

Josh: because you don't do it enough to— for it to be stingy about it. Yeah, it's not like you're gonna have one the next week.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, what drink would I order?

Tommy: I don't know, for yourself or for, for her? Is that what Gem's asking?

Mason: For— no, I reckon for myself because I would have no idea.

Josh: Actually, I have no idea what to order for both, but I think it depends on where you're going. Yeah, well, if it's sort of a beachy theme, maybe a piña colada.

Mason: Yeah, it would, it would be something sweet. It wouldn't be a It wouldn't be like beer or anything.

Josh: Probably, yeah. You'd ask what their specials are because if you go to a Mexican place, yeah, you wouldn't necessarily have a red wine at a Mexican place.

Tommy: Fishbowl. Depends on if you're in New York at one of those sort of underground Mexican restaurants, then you can have a red wine. Yeah.

Josh: I mean, so going on the date night thing, if you were to plan something and to give it more thought, what do you think the ultimate date night is?

Tommy: I mean, for, for us, previous ones have been a really nice restaurant that we like. So the fucked up problem is, dude, we end up booking these and we get there and we're so exhausted, which is like, we're so tired because it's like usually coincides date night is a getaway from the child. And so unless it's 2 days away for a Flinders FF, fuckfest. It's, you don't really, you know, you're not sort of re-energised.

Josh: Actually, that reminds me, about 3 weeks ago, Bri got one of these vouchers where you basically, you can use it for a few different restaurants. You heard about these things?

Tommy: No. What is it?

Josh: So, it's like, so we've, it's like there's a bunch of food places. So, you go, it's like a third-party company.. And someone gave us a voucher. And so, then you can use it at that place, like at all, you know, you've got a selection of 4 different restaurants. And so, Bri, we've had this voucher for like 8 months. Bri's like, we should definitely use it. And so, we actually used it. It was when we just had some public holidays recently. Anyway, grand final night. Oh, yeah. It was grand final night. Went to dinner. And got the set menu, got drinks. It's about $170. Our voucher was for $150. And so I was like, $20, that's cool, right? And then Bree said, I should just double cheque to make sure that this restaurant is definitely on the list. And she pulled out the voucher and she's— and then she's like, oh no, it's not. So we've gone all the way and we still got that voucher. We weren't able to use it.

Mason: And then—

Josh: but so lucky that we didn't go through the process of trying to use the voucher. That would have been really annoying.

Tommy: I know how embarrassing would it be to walk into a place and ask about their special burrito full of avocado and work out you're at the wrong Mexican restaurant.

Josh: Oh, yeah. You have done that.

Mason: Gem says in quotes, "Hello, I'll have 2 shots of vodka, please. No ice and a straw." Belinda Wall says, "What she said." Yeah. Imagine a Flinders FF for the first date.

Tommy: Who said that?

Mason: Gem.

Josh: Yeah, I had Gem all over it. I mean, dates give you anxiety. The going to the doctors for me, I mean, part of it was because I was running out of petrol going there and I thought that I was potentially going to miss my appointment. Yeah, well, not even miss my appointment, but just being in a situation where I'm in the middle of an intersection and the car stops. Oh, that's the worst. Has that ever happened to you?

Tommy: No, I ran out of fuel approaching lights and then I was slowing down and I managed to open the door and start pushing my old piece of shit VL Commodore, rolled through the lights into the service station. It was the closest I've ever come.

Josh: You know that you're really low on petrol when you're at the, at the traffic lights and you think that you're, um, you your steering wheel's disengaged or whatever. So you do a little, ooh, because you think, cheque the power steering. Yeah, cheque the power steering still on. No, but the experience of going to the doctor, it has been, no joke, like 6 years since I went to the doctor.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, I've seen the— yesterday we got on a flight to Sydney and I hadn't messaged you over the weekend because I was like, oh, I won't annoy him. He'll go and book in this trip.

Josh: Did you really think that?

Tommy: I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I thought he probably hasn't done it, but I'm not going to message him and say, have you done it?

Mason: I did see that Slack. Was it on Saturday?

Tommy: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't respond. So I did actually ask over the weekend, but I didn't personally text message you and say, have you booked in the doctor's appointment? Have you got the referral? And so I asked you, and then you got defensive instantly and brought up some other stuff that we need to order.

Josh: I just said it was more important than that. I've got other shit on my mind.

Tommy: That's like, so do we all. I didn't want two fucking blood tests.

Josh: No, but so the good thing is, no, but I think that you are more invested interested in the testosterone.

Tommy: I mean, Mr. 97, as soon as he got it, I needed to get it. I need one more person, and then the last person is— it's just a joke if they don't. They're just an absolute—

Josh: the funny thing is, piece of shit, I was thinking over the weekend, I'm like, how do we position it as content so I just don't have to like, oh, haha, but it's not that funny.

Tommy: No, it's not that funny.

Josh: And so, um, I mean, look at the book. And so you booked, uh, booked me in for an appointment. So I booked him in.

Mason: Gemma just said Josh called me yesterday and was like, uh, Tommy is booking it in for me.

Josh: Yeah, true. Booked. And so the thing is, uh, luckily though, I couldn't get mad at him, but, uh, Tommy nearly submitted the wrong date of birth.

Tommy: Wouldn't have mattered.

Mason: It wouldn't have mattered.

Tommy: It's an online booking form. I literally couldn't put my name, and I could have put my last name, and, and you could have said, oh, my, my work colleague booked this for me because I, I was too busy. You can see my admin person for me. It's not, it's not your passport that I've submitted for and put the wrong name.

Mason: You had to fill in the form when you got there, right? There's two forms.

Josh: Nothing. No, no, I filled out a Medicare— I got mum to take a photo of the Medicare card, the one that's between me and my bro and my family. Uh, and yeah, I didn't have to fill out anything. It was great.

Mason: You didn't have to cheque the boxes on your previous conditions and stuff?

Josh: No, no, no, that's all through Hot Docs. Doc? Hot Docs?

Tommy: Oh, well, I went through it.

Josh: Tommy started it, and I started getting text messages saying you need to complete your new patient, uh, form.

Tommy: Okay. And then you do that?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, good.

Josh: So it all worked out okay. But, um, now I felt like the guy, the doctor, was asking me questions and I just, I didn't know when to stop in regards to information. And because he's the first time I've seen him, I started giving him so much context.

Tommy: I'm sorry, but you do that when you're nervous or like, or like awkward. It's not— you're not even nervous when you get— when you're in an awkward situation, you can tell.

Josh: You're just also asking questions. I asked him, I said, uh, it's the best part of your day.

Tommy: No, no, I asked—

Mason: I was like, what's been the highlight of your day at 8:30?

Tommy: That's what he said.

Josh: I actually saw him. I was waiting for him when he arrived. Like, I saw him.

Tommy: Yeah, I booked you into the first, first appointment with Olmert.

Josh: But, um, no, I asked things like, oh, is everyone going vegetarian? He said yes.

Tommy: That's good.

Josh: And then the one thing he said that was interesting, because I tried to get the vitamin D. Yeah. And he was looking through what Medicare covers and he's like, unless you've got a bone condition, they won't do it based on it costs more to get the test than it does to actually just take vitamin D tablets. Yeah.

Tommy: But, and that's the gronk that initially gave me the blood test. That's what he was saying. He was saying that Australia— I asked you to look it up, you didn't. Did you ever find it? It was how much did Australia spend on vitamin D tests?

Mason: Something like $150 million.

Tommy: Yeah, with no—

Mason: the thing is, there's no point, no point getting it done coming out of winter either because everyone's got a deficiency in winter.

Josh: Yeah, but it was— so I did get into— I went through everything. I showed him my toe.

Mason: Poor bloke.

Josh: But the thing is that he didn't actually say anything. He wasn't like, oh, Because I said that their last doctor fucked it because he didn't cut the, uh, actual— like, they didn't kill the, uh, the future growth. So it keeps— the ingrown keeps growing.

Tommy: I mean, these people hear people self-diagnosing every single day. Imagine— I'd love to speak to a doctor on the show, not in the clinic, but just about what they're up against. I wonder if they can talk about this.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: Like the people, like the Google doctors of this world.

Mason: The virtual doctors. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: But the funny thing is, you had said to me, you were like, just don't give him much information, just say the minimum amount of information. Just say, I want to get the testosterone. Before you know it, I said— he says, um, I'm like, uh, I'm a bit tired, you know. He says, anything else? I'm like, and I'm a bit depressed. And so then I thought fucking midway through, I'm like, am I gonna walk away with one of those, like, the 10 sessions?

Mason: The mental health plan?

Josh: I should have batched it. I should have just kept going with it.

Tommy: How much can you batch with a doctor? Like, how much can you go, oh, and I'm looking for this, and I'm going away, I need this referral, and I need this?

Josh: Well, that's what I was sort of saying to— I was saying to him, I'm like, look, I haven't been here in 6 years, let's just try and do a few of them. And then he's like, okay, I would, um, And then I panicked because he said, 'Oh, um, so yeah, we're just going to need you to fast for this, uh, for the blood test.' I'm like, 'Oh no, no, no.' I'm like— and I just had to quickly think on my feet. I'm like, 'I don't know if it'll work for me.' Yeah, I was like, 'Look, I haven't been to a doctor in 6 years. I want this to be really easy. Can we just— like, what can we just do now so that I don't have to fast?' So he just ticked a few boxes. He's like, 'Okay, here you go.' But the other thing he did was the thing that I hate the most. I don't mind blood tests, but the high— what are they called? Blood pressure monitor.

Tommy: Mate, it is a sleeve on your arm.

Mason: It is the most inaccurate way to measure your blood pressure they could possibly use.

Tommy: Why?

Josh: I don't know if that's true.

Tommy: Why would they use it? No, no, why?

Josh: It only gets high.

Mason: Everyone's got high blood pressure when you got something pumping on your arm.

Tommy: No, they don't.

Mason: I do. Josh does.

Tommy: That's not— yeah, because you've got fucking high blood pressure. No, that's not how it works.

Josh: If I did this, is your blood pressure higher? If I just grabbed you?

Tommy: Hang on, you're now challenging the technology that has been used, that is used around the globe.

Josh: Yeah, I was the one that predicted Fitbits' demise, and I'll do this. No, I think that there's got to be a better way, don't you think?

Tommy: What do you mean?

Josh: But the best bit was I then asked him, I go, what does that actually do? I think he's probably in his whole entire career, because I looked him up, right? So before I went in, I was like, what's, what's he into? He went to the University of Auckland or whatever. Um, he was Kiwi. Yeah, Kiwi. Uh, like Asian Kiwi, like Asian who studied in, um, uh, New Zealand.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But then I was like, what is he into? And literally they say it's like he, he likes, um, uh, looking after like men's health. And so I thought, oh, that's good. Testosterone. That's like connection. And then it said he also enjoys like cutting out lesions. And so that's why.

Tommy: Is that your enjoyment?

Josh: And so that's why I mentioned the toenail thing, because I thought that I could fucking hit him with it.

Tommy: This is— don't ever take any of this approach to a date. Like, like your pre-research building the storey around what you need to then have a conversation around is Outrageous.

Josh: But so then he, so he took my blood pressure. He said it was high. I said, well, my petrol nearly ran out and I've had a coffee.

Tommy: The coffee, definitely.

Josh: And then so he got me to put my arm up and then like wait a bit and then do that. And so that was all fine. Like I got, because I don't actually know whether this is true or not, but you were sort of being like, if they think that we're just doing this all for content, we might not get it through Medicare because they'll be like, you guys are taking the piss and they won't do it.

Tommy: I mean, maybe.

Josh: And so that's what you were saying. And so I had become hyper aware of that. So I felt like through my whole fucking doctor's appointment, I'm suddenly a liar. Um, but then I got the piece of paper, I walked out. And so he, um— I'm not good at following instructions. So he said to me, he was like, so now just go out. I'm like, have you guys got a podiatrist? He said yes. What's it called? Pathologist.

Mason: Pathologist. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: He said, just go to reception, you take a number and ding a bell. Right. But I was too busy reading all the, like, the details, the text that he's written on there. And so he had to repeat it. So he actually opened the door and showed me what to do, which was lovely. But then as that was happening, I was greeted by the Coconut Cruise, Andre. Who is, uh, Mr. Nice, one of Mr. Nice7's best mates. Yeah, I've never met him before, and he was just sitting there.

Tommy: You know what he looks like though?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, I do. Okay, very distinct features, like you can't miss him. There was no, there was no like, oh my God, is that Andre?

Tommy: What's his nationality?

Mason: Uh, he's Indonesian. Part Indonesian.

Josh: Can he speak?

Tommy: I was about to say Greek.

Josh: No, that's Jace.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, Jace is Greek.

Tommy: No, but still, I know he prefers to be thought of as Spanish.

Josh: Okay, well, he's wanting to go—

Mason: sells it in a bit more than, uh, Indonesian.

Josh: What do you mean?

Mason: He just prefers being Spanish.

Josh: Is he Spanish?

Tommy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Josh: He's just selling it in if you're not Spanish. But he was telling—

Tommy: Is he coconut crew thing?

Josh: The funny thing is though, I said, oh, do you have any travel plans? He goes, I'd like to go to Spain and learn the language. So it's like, oh, go back to motherland. But no, so he was sitting there. First mistake, went up. I'm like, oh, hey. And then he introduced himself, but I know who he is, so I don't introduce myself. But I shook his hand and I thought, what's wrong with that? I don't think you're meant to shake people's hands at a doctor's.

Tommy: I shook the doctor's hand when I walked in.

Mason: I shook the doctor's hand.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I literally didn't based on—

Tommy: So, if you were to see your brother, like somebody that you love.

Josh: So, I should have hugged the doctor.

Tommy: If you love the doctor.

Josh: No, but to my point, I thought I was—

Tommy: I bet if I saw a family friend or something, I'd give them a kiss.

Josh: And so I was thinking, I was like, do I shake the guy's hand? But I thought, you know what, he would be dealing with all like people being sick. As a doctor, would you want to be shaking people's hands?

Tommy: Yeah, it's a part of your job.

Josh: Like, you think that being a doctor, part of your job is shaking people's hands?

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, I'm always surprised. Like, I remember, remember, they're like, sometimes it depends on when they put gloves on. I mean, when are they going to put gloves on?

Josh: Like, it depends what they're doing.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm just trying to think about like if I've had an inspection.

Josh: It's sort of— it's interesting, isn't it? Because like your experience, like you're like definitely shake their hand. You definitely from an intimacy point of view. But then you're criticising me for knowing what uni he went to and what he enjoys.

Tommy: One's got no thought and one's just like, yeah, you're trying to— you're not on a speed date, bro. And so you're not on a fucking blind date where you've tried to ask a few questions before to get the preempting what this date could be like.

Josh: But what he didn't realise was I was setting him up to be my family doc, my new family doctor. Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Because I have the cafe I go to, Heritage Wall, which is in Camberwell. This, this Balwyn Medical Centre is close by to that, right?

Mason: I think.

Tommy: Not really.

Josh: It's like within 2 kilometres.

Tommy: It's closer than where you are now.

Josh: And so I just thought I'm sort of creating essential services. Got my favourite cafe. Living out this coffee.

Tommy: You're living in Kew.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: And then I moved into a mansion in Kew.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Go to Camberwell.

Josh: No, I don't think. I don't think Q would be my thing.

Tommy: Camberwell?

Josh: Maybe Camberwell. Maybe Ash Williams' mum lives there.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So maybe Ash and I could hang out.

Tommy: Well, I mean, he lives in Sydney.

Josh: And so anyway, but then when I shook Andre's hand, he said, are you getting your testosterone tested?

Tommy: Little sneak.

Mason: He probably yelled it as well.

Josh: Yeah, he is loud. And I felt rude to be saying, hey man, I'm just here.

Tommy: Where was— but where was the doctor at this point?

Josh: I think his door— like he just sort of started walking off, but his door was still open.

Tommy: Oh my God.

Josh: And so he's creating a scene.

Tommy: Oh no, that's so annoying. And so your heart was just racing at the moment. The blood pressure that's already high is even higher. And he's thinking—

Josh: And so then— but there's the whole thing of There's one thing to just see, meet someone. And I think if I meet someone on the street, quite good. Meeting someone with then a full doctor's surgery, like a sort of like an outside area.

Tommy: When you're trying to get a test for something like—

Mason: Yeah. When you're trying to fly under the radar.

Josh: Yeah. Fly under the radar.

Tommy: I get it.

Josh: And so, then the thing is that I'm just trying to keep, I'm trying to move as far away from medical stuff as possible. So, that's why I'm like, oh, you know, if you were to live any, like— If you were to travel somewhere, where would you travel? And just those types of things.

Tommy: Can we find out for tomorrow's show what Andre's experience was like meeting Josh?

Josh: I think you already asked him, didn't you?

Mason: So I saw Andre on the way out because he drove his car past or whatever, and I was waiting for Josh.

Josh: So I made the mistake.

Tommy: So you needed support.

Josh: Well, so this is the whole thing. So 97 lives like a 35-minute walk.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: And so my appointment was at 8:30. Mr. 97 normally gets into work at like 9:15. And so I said to him, I'm like, hey, why don't you walk to the doctor's surgery and then I can drive you in to work? But the thing was that everything took way longer, so I didn't get out of there until 9:30. But what did— And so I saw your mate Andre. Yeah. What did he say? What did he say? The other thing he said, though, by the way, is after we've had this conversation, he's led with, oh, did you get your testosterone tested? All that sort of thing. As he was walking off, he said, oh, nice to meet you, man. So, people like, what the fuck? This guy knows about the testosterone thing, but he doesn't know— Anyway, so what was Andre's experience?

Mason: I have to get a full debrief, but from what Andre said, he was rattled.

Josh: He was rattled.

Mason: He was rattled.

Tommy: He was rattled.

Mason: He was rattled that he saw you in there.

Josh: Well, I didn't know whether I wanted to find out what he was going in there for. But is that a big no-no? If you're at the doctor's surgery, can you ever say, hey, why are you in there?

Tommy: I saw a guy. I saw a guy at a hospital. Sorry, guy at a hospital. And I avoided it because it's like, what are you here for? My, you know, my fucking—

Mason: But something's a little bit different. Hospital versus GP though.

Tommy: Still, you could be there to get your balls tested. I mean, that's, you know, you could be there to get a finger in your bum.

Josh: Yeah, but what is a good outcome for someone saying, hey, why the GP? Good outcome.

Mason: Yeah, true.

Josh: Uh, I'm, I'm doing some body hacking and trying to increase my athleticism.

Tommy: I mean, we're all, we're all sticky beaks.

Josh: Yeah, I'm not— I'm a sticky beak in regards to difference between the situations. Yeah, no, if I could find out that information without having to speak to them about it, if I could have— finding out if there was a piece of paper, if there was a piece of paper and it said, you know, Coconut Crew Andre on it, and I could read that information and find out all of his stuff. Yeah, of course.

Tommy: Yeah, on the plane last night coming home from Sydney, I just, um, because they turned off the lights, it was a nighttime flight, and I was looking because there was this beaming computer screen light coming through the seat.

Josh: You always see the best things on planes.

Tommy: And so I started looking, and I was just really intrigued by this woman who was Small sort of dark hair, and I was trying to work out, I couldn't really see how old she was, and I was trying to understand what's she doing on a computer. Like, got out her classic like Microsoft Note, so I was like corporate business. Then I started reading her emails because she was just doing her emails.

Josh: What did her emails say?

Tommy: So confusing. It gave me absolute anxiety of what it would be like to work in a big business. I got a sense she might have been in law or finance she was dealing with big budgets on projects and there was all these people writing passive emails. Like, I got into it, you know, like the, you know, when people sort of like outline very specifically, here's what you need. I need this, this, and this. I know sometimes I was just gauging.

Josh: You're talking about clear communication. Is that what you're— clear as kite? Yeah, clear as kite.

Tommy: Yeah, but it's even like, you know, when you work in a big business and clear is kind of— get your fucking motivational shit right here, boys. But I also when you understand when someone's like, I'm talking to you like a dummy because you don't understand this. So here's A, here's B, and here's C. Now, you know, like, there was very much that style, and it just gave me shivers of working in big business using Microsoft— what's it?

Josh: Outlook.

Tommy: Outlook. And she's on a plane, there's no Wi-Fi, and she's, you know, like having to digest like 70 emails before she gets off. I was like, oh, I really— I had to disconnect because I was like, I was in her vortex of like speaking to Peter from finance.

Josh: Yeah, okay. Well, even on the way there, there was a guy and, um, I look over, I look over. So the way that Tommy has booked our seats is we're both in the aisle.

Tommy: It's classic. If you're travelling with somebody, don't get a seat next to each other, get aisle seats. Yeah, yeah, that are next to each other. And it's—

Josh: I'm going to say, I guess you're into that.

Tommy: Did you?

Josh: I think Naysan and I would do it when we were traveling.

Tommy: Fuck, it's good.

Josh: It's so good because you can just have a bit of a breather because you can talk like you actually, you then have a good amount of space to be able to sort of talk to one another.

Tommy: Food cart comes through, you can have no dialogue.

Josh: You also have good banter with, better banter with the people who are on the carts. Oh yeah, because you can sort of talk in the sort of a triangular sort of thing. Anyway, so I turn, look over And Tommy has his— a guy sleeping and Tommy has his hand on the guy's leg. I was like, what the fuck is going on? And I like, I actually had to look like, who is he touching? And then he was sort of like pointing at the guy's cup. And the guy has a full coffee cup with, I think it must have been tea or coffee or something, but it was like with milk and it was like full, like completely full. And Tommy was sort of gesturing, saying, the guy's like, his leg is knocking it, right?

Tommy: Yeah, because he was like, he was asleep. He had noise-canceling headphones and he was having night terrors and his knee would knock the tray table and the water, the full thing. I'm like, this is fucked.

Josh: And so Tommy's like, watch, like, just watch it. I was like, okay. Anyway, we're about to land and the flight attendant is walking past, sees the guy doesn't have— He still has his tray table down with the drink. I felt that in that moment, she should have just picked up the drink and then woken him up and said, "Hey, we're just putting up your tray table." Instead, she touched him on the shoulder. He then reacts, lifts his knees, and the drink just goes everywhere.

Tommy: The whole cup of tea.

Josh: The whole cup. Oh, oh, so avoidable.

Mason: Did you go on you, Tommy?

Tommy: No, no, no, because I told Josh like, watch this, this is gonna happen. And so I'd be— you— my knees, I was ready for it.

Josh: And so like, so avoidable. Yeah. And so it got me thinking like, should I have done something? Like, should we have done something? Probably should have.

Tommy: I should have got— the worst thing for that bloke, he's probably blaming it all on me because I got him that cup of tea. Oh, that's right, because free We didn't use all of our vouchers. We had two $10 vouchers between us.

Josh: I didn't understand that system at all. I don't know, I've never flown Jetstar.

Tommy: Flew Jetstar and we got given $10 vouchers for our tickets.

Josh: It's almost like rationing.

Tommy: So $20 to spend, $20 to spend on the plane. On the plane. So I got a cup of tea, Josh got water, and then I—

Josh: But you didn't use all of our food stamps.

Tommy: That was all of them. Yeah, didn't use all of them. And I said, anyone around us want a cup of tea? And he Wakes up and says, yo, I have a good day.

Josh: He didn't have any of it.

Tommy: I know. He regretted that one.

Josh: He must have been doing okay though, because he used to have the new Microsoft headphones potentially. What did he? The noise cancelling. Yeah, they're quite good. They're sort of the new instead of Bose. That's what people are getting. You can actually, you can use a dial to turn off how much, like you can dial in and dial out how much noise cancellation you want.

Tommy: Oh, that's cool.

Mason: Which is, I think it's built into the headphones, right? You just like twist it.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Miss Nicev says, "Nobody likes an Entertainment Guide voucher user. Those golden coupon books are a direct path to dating hell." Julie says, "Doctors and other clinicians shake patients' hands all the time." Yeah. And Grace just joined.

Josh: Hi, Grace. And so maybe I should start. Maybe he thinks I'm rude.

Tommy: For not shaking his hand? Yeah. I don't think it really matters. I can't remember if I—

Josh: He was coughing a lot before I went in there. I heard coughing. I was like, this guy's not doing well today. And so.

Tommy: I think we're on to winners at that clinic because I got a sweet, sweet lady and I just—

Josh: and I was really annoyed I didn't tell her that she did a good job.

Tommy: I wanted to tell her that she has a very kind smile and she made me feel nice when I walked in, like, but I didn't tell her. I was so annoyed. Yeah, because I was like, fucking, she just gave me this test referral. I really wanted to tell her that she— because I saw her, how she interacted with the previous woman, the previous person. Who was sitting in the waiting room and she just— You can see them. She came out and walked and you're the first.

Mason: You're the first.

Josh: I think I was at door 3.

Tommy: Yeah, you're the first. They came. She comes out to greet you. You don't walk in, next, and they walk in. She comes and says, Mrs. Blah, blah, blah. And then got up and they had this really nice— and she put her hand on her and, how are you?

Josh: Oh, that's nice.

Tommy: You want a nice warm doctor. You don't want—

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pathologist has an interesting job. Because they're trying to gauge— was your pathologist trying to gauge whether you were okay with needles?

Tommy: Um, I think it's— I think they just quickly throw out a few things, but some maybe more. I mean, maybe you're the big baby that they have seen coming from a mile away and think 97 had to lie. I was the biggest squealer. We got a squealer on our hands.

Josh: No, so I was fainter on it. Well, so she said— well, so the thing is, oh, you know why she probably asked because as soon as I— I was waiting like half an hour, and then as soon as I went in, I didn't want to— I had the referral and the card in my hand, but I was busting to piss, but I didn't want to take that with me and potentially lose my spot. And so I was like, you know what I'm going to do? Because the blood test is gonna— I'm not gonna be able to concentrate if I'm getting my blood in. I need to wait. And so as soon as I walked in, I said, do you mind if I wee quickly? But for whatever reason, she couldn't comprehend what I was saying. I think, um, and so I was saying, oh, can I just quickly go to the bathroom? And so maybe that was the thing. And so she did. She was asking some questions. She said, have you, um, when was the last time you had your blood test? I said, oh, maybe like 10 years. She was blown away by that. Anyway, so I, um, uh, I said, oh no, I should be fine. I said, I'll just like, I won't look at it. And then, like, just into this routine, she was just like, so how's the weather? And it just caught me off guard because I'm like, oh, like, I went so focused on the feeling of the needle because, like, she's almost set me up. It's like you're trying to get me over here, but now all I'm thinking of is, like, what you're actually doing. And so then I was like, oh, it's like Um, it's cloudy, but she knows because she just fucking came in.

Tommy: But maybe she got you at that point because you actually were thinking about it.

Josh: But then, and then, so I remember my doctor pinching me when I was a kid as a way of like getting a sensation. Yeah, he pinches you on your fucking— and so I started just pinching myself, um, as she's doing this. And then she's like, oh, it's meant to be blue skies later in the week. I was like, this is fucking horrendous. And then so I said, I was like, I was hearing the sound of my blood squirting into the vial, which I'd never heard in my life. I was like, ah, I get— I'm like, I guess you have to like talk so that I don't hear the squirting. Yeah. And then, um, and then I was like, ah, and you know what, I've never fainted before, but I feel like if I talk about it too much, maybe that sets people off. So I was like, oh, I'm off to LA next week. I just— she's like, oh yeah, great, cool story, bro. Yeah, she's like— but it's almost like this Olympic game of like improv. And then she's like, oh yeah, how are the flights? I was like, oh, they're under $1,000. And she's like, oh, I'm thinking of going. And, and she got you. And I was like, oh yeah, you should go. And then she's like, all right, and we're done. We just had to fucking stop with the bullshit talk. Yeah, but then when I left, when I left, I said to her I said, you should definitely book those LA flights.

Tommy: What'd she say?

Josh: She was like, what the fuck? Like, I think she'd forgotten that we spoke about it. So it was all just a bit weird. But then I asked it, like, I over-asked. I was like, do I have to go to reception again? She's like, no.

Mason: That's what I asked as well. I don't think that's—

Josh: Why are these things so not clear?

Mason: Well, because it feels weird just going in and not paying anything.

Josh: But also, like, Europcar, we went to Europcar the other, like, uh, Yesterday to get a car in Sydney, and, uh, it wasn't clear where we were meant to— like, there were the people, there were 3 people lined up, and then there was another counter, but there was, there was no one.

Tommy: I dropped your car back.

Josh: No, no, no, not to drop the car back, to get a car. And so I find all these things very confusing. Guys, just make it easy, just communicate, tell me where to stand.

Mason: Yeah, Belinda just said, once I had a pathologist with a bung eye come at come out, come at me. No shit. I was severely dehydrated at the time too. Needless to say, it did not end well. My arm was black, yellow, and blue for a full week.

Tommy: Oh no, that's no good.

Josh: I did— I was asking about, like, I asked those questions like, how are my veins? Do you ask that stuff or no?

Tommy: No.

Mason: How can she see your veins?

Tommy: Literally just don't—

Josh: What are you talking about?

Tommy: Don't need to talk.

Josh: Well, she's doing stuff. But also, I was doing that. If I didn't talk, how's the weather? I just—

Tommy: it's fine.

Mason: It's like spurting.

Tommy: You don't have to talk. You're talking because you're awkward.

Josh: That's all.

Tommy: I'm talking because I'm building fucking rapport with a person that you'll forget in 4 seconds.

Josh: Next minute, she's in LA. She's in a— she's got 2 tickets to Kanye. And she's like, you, I remember you.

Tommy: Just her and you?

Josh: She had—

Tommy: so you're on date night?

Josh: No, no, she couldn't.

Tommy: I'm not a pathologist.

Mason: The ultimate date.

Josh: Geez. I mean, no, I'd probably say Tommy likes Kanye more.

Tommy: I appreciate it.

Josh: And then '97 and I would go to the chicken shop and only get tabouli.

Tommy: Just want to finish it off with a compliment that's come from my wife, Amos. Uh, not for you or I, Disappointing.

Josh: 97's getting it. Like, I asked him to put together what we've done in the last, like, from episode 400 to 500. It's like, oh, my fashion show, my hair bleach. Yeah, my, my, my, my, my.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Whose show is this?

Tommy: I'll tell you what, though. It's paying off. Amy said, and I totally fucking agree. Amy said, Mr. 97 has completely come out of his shell. Like, I think you were, you know, you'd come a long way.

Josh: I've cracked him.

Tommy: But she was laughing at his jokes, laughing at him interacting and interrupting. I love it. She says, oh, he's really sort of injecting in, you know, coming in with stuff to say. I said, yeah, because we fucking tell him to. It can't even give it to him. I can't give it to the kid. I'm like, it's fair. We're saying yell at us. Yeah. Bring in.

Josh: I say if someone comments on it, you interrupt me. Yeah, you've done. But you've done a very good job today.

Mason: It still feels weird, just like interrupting. I feel like I'm going to disrupt the flow.

Josh: No, there is no flow.

Mason: Listen to this fucking abomination.

Tommy: But yeah, so that's come through, Mason. I, and I, and I tend to agree. I said he's actually really funny.

Josh: Maybe you said something funny the other day. What was it?

Tommy: It wasn't even you.

Mason: Oh, my mum loved Friday's episode. What was Friday's? Where we were talking about, uh, Tommy got you the—

Tommy: oh yeah, the vegetarian.

Josh: It was an annoying episode.

Tommy: No, because we were talking about how good you would be in a tribe. Yeah, I think Amy also meant that's the one. Yeah, really shone that episode.

Josh: Yeah, I actually— it shows how funny we thought it was because Bree doesn't listen that often, but I did retell that story. I was like, yeah, '97 was, you know, saying like, mix it in with some rice.

Mason: Belinda said you can feel it when they can't see your veins. Oh yeah, they're just feeling around for something.

Tommy: Yeah, flicking.

Mason: By the way, men are terrible at needles, period.

Josh: Who said that?

Mason: Belinda.

Josh: Interesting. Yeah, I mean, it's not something I would want to get done, but it did get me thinking. One of the Organised Orgas things was to get to give blood. And I heard a very powerful radio ad yesterday where a guy's like, I need your blood. And then he's like, but like, I'm not a patient. I'm someone who gives blood every fucking 2 weeks or whatever. And he's like, blood only lasts 45 days, has to be used in 45 days. And so he's like, help me out, give blood also. And I was like, oh, that was a really good, uh, it was like very practical. Yeah. But now we've got to book it in, so yeah, it's too much admin for you, but we should do it.

Tommy: I'll do it and then you guys will probably end up wanting to do it.

Josh: But I've heard that the needles are bigger, but who cares? But like, no, no, but we're saving people's lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mason: I still have too many panic attacks to do that.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, 97 was like, I didn't— I don't know how she knew that I was nervous. I was like, where are we? Bright red? Were you sweating? Like, there's a list.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Uh, anything else, Mr. 97?

Mason: We got a review from Little Ghosts. 5-star review. New favorite. So glad to have 400+ episodes to catch up on. Great job, guys, on creating an engaging podcast.

Josh: Thank you, little ghost.

Tommy: That's, um, better get cracking on the 400.

Josh: We need to do something about the bugs in the office as well. I wonder if it's coming in on shot. But I saw— I don't know if it's something to do with fruit that you've been eating.

Mason: No, no, no, my, my fruit goes out the back.

Josh: Where?

Mason: Just behind the office.

Josh: What do you mean?

Tommy: No, it's— he's, um, decided that the back of our office is his compost.

Josh: But what about like fruit that hasn't been eaten yet?

Tommy: I mean, he eats it.

Mason: What do you mean I eat it?

Tommy: You're talking about fruit flies. No, these are fucking flies from upstairs. We left the door open upstairs and they, they're coming in. We need to get some spray.

Josh: Anyway, it's a Daily Talk Show. Uh, be like a little ghost, leave us an Apple Podcast review because we are little babies.

Tommy: Yeah, every little bit helps.

Josh: And, uh, if you want to, uh, send us an email, you can do that at hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Anything else, 97? Any other bits of admin?

Mason: Bearded Fen, the 'say something funny, how's Fitbit?' is a great t-shirt slogan.

Josh: Yeah, that was a house fitbit.

Tommy: That's it. Bit in joke, not everyone will get it, but your brother would, which is why we should do something funny, send him something that's Fitbit related. Can we get, um, because your dad said 'how's Fitbit?' right? Yeah, can we get like Richard, like a Richard, like this is This is the t-shirt of that. That's crazy. Has Fitbit Richie. Richie Rich.

Josh: I like that.

Tommy: All right guys, we'll see you tomorrow.

Josh: Catch you guys.