#483 – Ash Williams And The Poisonous Massage Oil/
- October 12, 2019
Ash Williams joins us for Weekend Banter! We chat about how Ash went from topless waiting to a promo company, almost killed by massage oil, and how he almost became an escort.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– From topless waiting to a promo company
– Collaborating with other creatives
– How Ash almost became an escort
– Almost being killed by massage oil
– The masked funeral
– Seeing Ash in LA
– Nandos and DiDi
– Ash’s Patreon
Ash Williams on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashwilliams1
The Ash Williams Show: https://www.instagram.com/AshWilliamsShow
Email us: email@example.com
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 483. Duane Banta and ash Williams has stumbled into the studio.
Fastest black almost back to back episode anyone's ever done. Getting up there. Yeah, yeah, three weeks ago something was on the show. Yeah, I reckon it was.
You're in Melbourne. So we thought we need to get you in. We want to show you the office. First of all, give us the the ash Williams run through of the daily talk show headquarters. My it's it's very professional. You know, you got Mr. 16 on behind the decks a paints off. It's It's impressive. You know, what are you paying a month again? Can you say that? That definitely was quite a lot for anyone listening.
But we're in Abbotsford. It's cool.
And have you signed the lease for 12 months or two years? Two years? Good.
The other option, what do you think? Fucking month to month.
Have you ever had a commercial life? Yeah, but we spoke about this one I had the commercial lyst commercial.
I was month to month. I'm not even joking. I used to own a business called hot under the collar and I had a month to month lease with a guy called rod Stoller in South Melbourne. And I used to lease out the executive boardroom and pay. I think it was 500 a month, month to month. hot under the collar it was this topless services. patina. You work for me.
I had a business that was strippers and topless whitelist as in men. Yeah. And I have to four years. There's no way it was done in your fucking life. Oh,
no, mid 70s at what
2007 to maybe or 2008 2010 and then I sold it to a dude when he said you so I'm always curious about
Sell businesses business a proper siloed did you go into liquidation and I sold it to a dude called Josh. I cannot you
just say no.
Then it was about a year into the business, a guy who was working for me, one of the topless waiters was so good at his job. And I said, Come in for a meeting the, you know, sometime, give me a blowjob know that he was.
And he's I said, Listen, man, I can tell you, you know, business. And he's like, I know, I know. I'm like you want to, you know, become a partner? And he said, Yeah, so like a legal firm or something. Yeah, he, what did he do? I didn't think he even paid for partnership. I said, you can just pay me when the money comes in. And then it got to the point where I was like, I was working on over 100 with two ZNK full time, so I couldn't actually do the business, the business and then I was like, I'm going to sell the business to Josh and I sold the whole thing to him for 15 grand. That's 19 I so I'm 31 now so how many
years ago was that when I was 1912 so 12 years ago 2009 don't same year 2007 is when you guys were competing bad
market analysis and I didn't see hot under the collar. What was your business Korean Ozzy spanks. 97 key look up rz Spanx and see if we can get some form of ABN record for Ozzy spanks. Yeah.
To be able to see the year that
you've got back and stamped. But before we get started, we
want to wish you
a happy birthday. So I'm gonna say that it's the one for white and white.
Personal joke. I really didn't either for anyone listening, but no, no. So did you ever, like make a profit?
No, because we were spending cash. But we were making cash. So I mean, at what point is a business really profitable? Well
money now but so you were you pay salaries and then after salary paid this salaries being thrown, I was no PAYJJ Super contract. Josh was in charge of that.
And we don't know if Josh ever did it. No, no, Josh did that we we have two full time staff and they fuckin that's why we're out of business because like we you guys understand business, sometimes you book a job and you think you know I need staff and when you're paying a full time wage, that's when the wheels come off
with actually, the thing about some businesses you could think make. So this is a business that generates cash flow. And so month on month they bringing in money, but they've either spent money on the setup costs and there are goings quite high that they are covering their outgoings but there is still money that has been outlined and so your business
I know that you had no debts you'd spent because the thing is, it's not that bad to have debts in a business because the whole idea of the business is that you're investing for it to grow to then be able to fund Charlie. And so what was that? What was hot under the collar? What he meant? profitable is when you say profit. I know you sound like a big growth. So it might be 150 grand gross. That you made. That's Yeah, that's gross. It's ever gonna pay the staff. I remember I used to always yell at this guy cuz he was just always eating, eating lunch at his desk, like when are you gonna do some fucking work by you would actually have desks? That would be nice. I had the best desk and then I had Josh. I'm like, and I'm actually Josh had equal desk when he came on to become a partner. I said, Good news for you. You get the same desk as me. And then I've got these two others who are on the lower desks, and I could say them and then I would just say, Donald Donald Trump would like come into the boardroom, I would say to this guy called Steve, I said come in, coming on. Thanks, Dave. More than
Man Josh making together stays making the most money. And what was Steve doing? He was meant to acquire new business he sitting you someone from Coca Cola, and I'm, this never happened so I stay was like, three months just eating fucking, like so much food like he's always eating and I'm just saw, hey, come into my office I just give them Warning. Warning
20 warnings and I was ninja Yes, yeah, but you gotta run it out. I get to my head. By the way, you're in quite a few. And then anyway, I think Steve one day just never showed up. And so we say the business dev guy. Is that what he wants
out of? What's Bobby's development? Yeah, yeah. One day. He knew, though, that he was going to get fired and he just never came back.
How do you think he knew?
He told him tomorrow I'm going to find a nose. He just didn't turn out for like two weeks. I said to Josh. I said, Where's Dave? And he goes, I think he knew this.
You're going to find Josh really angry one day Why? It's just like where's the coca cola? And for the business its service was topless. No, no, we transitioned to podcasting. No to promos. So we were dealing with low cost and all these other promo agencies and doing all the promos around Australia so now the Coca Cola thing makes sense because you guys would you almost like a straight team without a radio station. Kind of kind of will be then that will begin then take the radio station network we had like a lot of stuff working by mega right 200 and so what is the thought in that back then? About what you want in life? What do you were you actually trying to build be become a businessman? Is that your goal back then? But you know that that's what this office reminds me of hot under the collar because you guys are like going on a journey. You are and it's exciting. You're on the roller coaster and you're like bought in in the little you know, carriage and you're going to have ups and downs.
So would you do it again? No fact No. Because you know I'm doing my own roller coaster now and I can control that and it's bad I'm having more fun you know just just do my own thing but if you haven't got any options then then the business is good I always started the business with the the vision that if my career my you know comedy career kind of got to a level I would just fuck off hot under the collar or then is it not? Is it you not going all in on the creative thing? Like to come You know, for you the comedy The the stand up the radio stuff? He's like the creative normal, and I've been all into like,
bit over 10 years. Yeah. And so for you selling that business was that when you actually went all in?
I probably Yes, it was. Yep. I wasn't a foot in both camps. But I remember the meeting actually with Josh because I was like, you know, you want to buy the business and he said, Yeah, bye
This day she was sitting in my office. So I was I had a meeting with him in my office. And we I didn't know what to charge for the business because it's really hard to quantify. Yeah. And they say something like, is it three years? Three years revenue? Yeah, but that's fucking crazy that would have because that's what it really looks
companies have like massive growth.
Yeah, but yeah and so but it's then based on looking at the books I used to try when I was a personal trainer another career trying to guy who specialised in funding, had getting people finance to buy restaurants and cafes and she knows that it's a three year revenue but then it has to make sense if the business is a hot like non profit hundred 50,000 is not much gross ever you would have
One, you wouldn't buy that business for three times. Believe in it to the point of like, we're doing a big amount of growth, like 150,000 is not very much, not so much. But like for a very, very small business. I mean, if you're paying 5500 bucks a month for the ladies and you've got our no operating costs, every month rod, the landlord would come in and he thought that I was like out, he's like, do you want to keep the room for another month? I'm like, Yeah, yeah, he was you do? You do? The phone never rang. Yeah. Like, and that's and that's right. But so when you when you're sitting there with Josh, he's in your seat. And he said, and use a Mac you want to buy? Yeah, I don't remember. It's one of those moments where I was like, Let's keep this very smooth. Okay, we want this to be a very clean deal. My younger brother who was studying medicine was at the back like I said, you just loiter, I but always good to have the family support there for the deal. And then I just said
I didn't even negotiate. I just said Josh, I think 15 grands fair.
That's a good deal.
Is that like we cannot like we literally sent a document to people say, Man, we want to be paid this amount, like, now I'm like, okay, like it's very similar. And so that he said yes. And so you're fucking spot Do you wish the charge more we like no make it 30 now I couldn't believe that he was going to pay that and walking out of the year if I can. That was a wonderful deal and more. And he's a business still around No, no, it went bust about six months later. Really? Yeah. And because I was instrumental in keeping the relationships alive and Josh was more of the organisation. You still friends with him? Yeah, went to his wedding.
is the proof
that what Yeah. And so what was the point where you like I need to get out of the business because I wasn't working in the business as much as Josh and it just wasn't fair. So I was working full time with QZNK every morning breakfast right?
knackered, yeah, I'd walk into the office and just do nothing. And then would he say stuff to know, because I was still throwing ideas. And I would like, more beyond him going, you should do this, I'll do that. But you know what it's like working together. Imagine if you two weren't working together.
Two minds are better than one often, and you kind of inspire each other. So, you know, even a popping in there for a second help, Josh? And definitely What's your relationship with
collaborating? So working with other creatives on projects that you got team effort that you? I think it's always good. No, I write comedy with friends. You know, it's it's a good conversation, because you might not even get the idea from the person you're talking to. But by speaking it out. You might give yourself the idea. What about when money is a part of the equation?
Yeah, I mean, businesses always
Yeah, a little bit.
undulating but you know, in the sense of like some people can be dodgy people but you can't. I haven't met too many. What does it mean to write?
What does it mean to write with other people? What does that actually can you give us an example where you've done that recently? So I'll just catch up with stand up comedian buddy and we'll just like go over some bits so you you and allows for me like standard our cafe usually or like $20 say balls is about to come out. You're all in in my office, which is the food court at Bondi Junction. It's good. George Columbus. I saw Georgie Yeah, he had he look
a bit of a joke because
he looked a lot like George coming back.
Now you posted it on instant Yeah, but you're the only one who knows that wasn't the George now you actually know you. You saw on screen screaming out man. So I guess one of you can hear like I can hear someone
a lot of heroin, Randy. I know you actually did a post where you like or maybe it was even on team effort or something you were like, I can't believe all these people
can remember it.
Yeah, but that's your office food court. But what what what do they actually have their report how
we can get everything that makes it
for the licencing and Amanda's true. The funny thing about sheets is for the longest time, they didn't have the calorie counts on there because you don't if you have less than 20 stores around Australia, you're not obligated to put the nutritional value. True. Yeah. So let's see. So when I was like trying to lose weight, I guys I need the fucking calories and like sorry, we don't have to do it. Like Okay, I'm just gonna fucking trust you on this one.
Okay, that's like turns out like fucking
Yeah, I was eating chance yeah thinking that I was doing I was over calories. So they're now over 20 storey yeah so you can say okay I was I was it was a nightmare Yeah, I stopped having it. It says naughty as you might as well I was deep fried it's delicious a lot of sauce and stuff in it you read it
so you would just catch up with a creamy
hi that fish needs by the way, but not so we're just gonna have a bit and then like sometimes by like, voicing your bit your then it's like a Tetris puzzle. You just go Oh, yeah, cool, actually, you know I can finish finish it like that. And it's just a good way of collaborating and saying storeys and material sometimes from 30,000 feet above you know what I mean? If it's not your personal storey you see the roadmap a bit more in a similar to you Do you think it's better collaborating with people that are similar? No different definitely doesn't matter. It's just people who you respect and think you're funny. That's Oh, yeah.
My next Williams Yes a couple of dudes coming up who
I could fucking Sue American for being really yeah yes guys go I'm not gonna say who it is. He's a friend of mine but he's got so many storeys which are almost identical to mine like identical and they're so off the beaten track you know any kind of podcast Who the hell is hey Mitch
Have you ever fan anyone stealing the Jags?
No, no, I mean, it's either bad or good bad because not big enough.
No, I'm more of a storyteller Anyway, you know, I've got
obviously jokes in the storeys, but the storeys themselves, they're pretty hard to replicate. So, that's why you know, when I've seen this other comedian who's got like this really weird storey about how when I was almost a male prostitute in Los Angeles, he has the same storey but in New York, and I'm on what
off. I've been love walked in on a conversation with him and another girl and he's telling me a storey and I've actually stopped and go, bro, this is my storey telling you telling the storey my storey. And he's like, no, it's my storey. And I'm like,
there's no way to prove it. Yeah, there's no way to prove can you tell us about because we are going to LA in the next couple of months in the next month or two weeks. So I'm back to XY we go into LA.
As mentioned to the boys that I've been to a gay club in LA it was pumping heaving. I was a fresh piece of meat. Felt.
You know, I was definitely i'd off because I knew When was this? This is 2012 you know, the great year of La it was it was the best year. Yeah. What's that? I know I've heard you talk about it. But what was the almost becoming an escort? What was that? Um, so that was I was on a model website called model mayhem. It's like a dodgy look.
fuckin standing as dodgy but it's dodgy this
lifetime membership with Stan now Do you wanna you Joe? Did you win the scholarship? I know I just won this thing that was a competition on Stan. Yeah, I saw that. It was like what are the scholarship in 2012? Man It was great. Yeah, one of the best is what was on the show business scholarship like a guaranteed look I flew over to LA that's how I got there. What Yeah, I want it was like a 10 grand trips for now. I'm podcast. Now look at me. gonna fall off storey Where are they now? Yeah, yeah, definitely not. They should. Is it just you or did it? Did they give it to a girl as well? Just me but they've done it multiple times. And part of it was the free lifetime membership of Stan. Fuck. Do you use it?
I don't have enough where my login is you should use it.
And that's pretty fun. So M is the equivalent but a little bit sleazier around nice. stand out. Just try. modelling mayhem is around model my hands come out of my hands. That's model
im.com Yep, I can't find you on it. Yeah, no shit she's on the name I was using was ash ashes and
just to go back a second when I was working at hot under the collar we used to cast from Star now. We needed something. They're actually doing a bunch of aggressive marketing at the moment. They're like, Chief operations officer was in Melbourne trying to reach out to production companies saying Hey, you guys should use no service. Yeah, you shouldn't do it. Like there's still the worst will never be good enough. It's Tommy.
And so model mayhem is just the sorry about the bugs. If anyone's data model mayhem, I got this message from this guy called Darren. Darren with a GE was doing a similar thing to ash. Ash.
He's like Johnny catch up. for coffee. My shorts are
met at hang on was that all he said was the there's an opportunity for you. He said that it was just an opportunity. Yeah. And then he called me. Sounded legit said you want to meet at the cafe near the airport? I'm like, What do you mean? Which one? And he's like there's one right near the airport. I'm like, Okay, I think I know where it is. So it's like about 50 metres from the airport.
Think CXO when you turn right for la XS is on the left last kind of it's kind of like a motel set up. So he's like, I'm sitting there before I get there. And he's like, yo, come over. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Man was and then like,
I quickly realised it was like, you know, um, you know, prostitution. It's an escort. Yeah. And he's like, yo, so you want to make some money, but I'm like, yeah, yeah. What is it again? And he's like God, so it's companionship, that's the key word companionship and you get like, it was 400 bucks for two hours, right for dinner. And then if you do it overnight,
It's like 1000 bucks a night and if you do awaken and so I think it's 3000 bucks. And I'm like, go and do this good money and and I go So just to clarify like, do I have to sleep with the women? And he's like, no, bro. No, bro. And he's winking at me. No, bro. And I'm like, What do you mean? But why are you? I didn't say which I didn't sign and because I was like I don't want to like this way but I'm pretty sure he winked at me. Okay, so again just to clarify do I have to do I have to sleep with him? He is no bro No bro and I'm like why are you? Why are you making me? And he's like I'm not and then he a wink again and I know you are like you just went again and he's like no I'm not waking bro and I'm like
don't worry it's fine I guess. And then
I then I left and then he called me up and he goes hey I just want to apologise
yeah I was winking at you cuz I thought you're wearing a wire. And I'm like, are cool man. So
So what is like, you know, sex? Yes. Yeah, man, if you if you've want to have sex you can you know, it's that's what it is. But yeah, I thought you were an undercover cop because prostitution is illegal in LA. So I was like, yeah, it still made no sense because what's changed from then to now that I could still be wearing a wire? So he's like, No, no, I just know you're not a cop. I watched to get on the bus.
So then I
ended up doing the job. I did one of the companionship jobs, which was just purely Japanese and Champagne is 411 for four hours. It was 800 800 with a woman named Jenny. She gave me 800 bucks in a Hello Kitty envelope was sick. She was like 50 or something. She's Baffin and what did you I've heard the storey? Yes, I do know we just had a nice time. And I was like thinking kind of just doing the sums morally my head lighting can I actually
Do this so this is a big fork in the road in my life. And weirdly that day I came off the set of the exes and I was working with wine night whose Newman from Seinfeld. So I'd literally come off the set with Newman from Seinfeld and gone to this date in venture Valley and made 800 so I was like what do I do? How much of this you thinking? Okay, this could be good content like it how many like does that unlock the thing? Oh no, because my whole thing is like if it's good content for standard then it's worth it but this everything up to this point is good content for stand up but then I was like, but hang on if I go through with this and I start sleeping with the or women and I'm paid $3,000 a weekend to sleep with women. I think it loses a little bit of the comedy value so as part of it may be that you did do it but you've removed it to to comedy value. I just was like
have you fact people for money? Have on yet? No. Okay, no. Let's get
because the thing is I honestly don't want you to go fuck you
know because I was like putting it through my brain filter of like, what I tell this storey on stage and my gut instinct was like it doesn't feel that funny. everything up to the sex is funny. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah dancing with that law and the moral law because most people's line is at a lot earlier. And then the crossing the
line is like huge or that's it and that's massive and then you're that person is a part of it, though, that you like actually, if I sleep in the same bed with her, that still on that line that could still be funny.
Like spiritually, but I think it would have been like a fait accompli or expected that I would have slept with the
genomic is Jenny. Jenny said. This is what Jenny Jenny said. I wish I
So Jenny, what are you doing? You know, you said beautiful, you know, why are you spending all this money? God is good for the 800 bucks and also my name is Jessica. So I this is I'm Jasper on this. And so she she picked the name I told Garen that I wanted to be Jessica for for this just had to come up with that name. That's my tickling video name.
So then sudden, Jenny's like, oh, Jessica, you know, my husband. He doesn't make love to me anymore. She said I used to give my husband three blow jobs a day and now he doesn't want any I'm like Jenny the storeys breaking my heart.
You know, and I know you said beautiful, and Jenny do for work.
And I was like, Look, then I was like setting the thing like maybe I should be with Jeannie. And I was just like, anyway, look, it's been great catching up. I must have had like two bottles of champagne. All these shows quote, and then that's it already great that you are not like it. Do you have to instal
Take work out whether you're going to do the night. No, no, the night was already.
Yes, it was just it was just
like a chemistry raid. Like when you do an audition for an acting job, gentlemen, we nervous. I remember I was very like, this could fucking end badly by just saying this since I was an unknown. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know who the woman was going to be. I was in venture Valley, which is like where it's pretty dodgy anyway. So like, after the died, I'm really pumped because I've got 800 bucks us Can I get a call from Garen straightaway, saying, bro, bro, way to go. She likes you. She wants to go on the weekend day $3,000 you could be the best we've ever seen. You could be one of the top dudes on my website. I'm talking like two 300 grand a year. What do you reckon? What do you reckon he's getting out of that cash was getting 20% So did you have to take the money from the Hello Kitty envelope and go I don't know what happened to guarantee I just
tasted 800 I think that Jenny paid him 200 or something. Finding fee. Yeah. So then, anyway, just hit the gas again on the weekend, man. I remember walking through, like, Zahra or something. And I was like, Dr. No, still in the valley. And
I was like, yeah, this is a real, real pickle. And I took the weekend and then I just called in on Monday, I said, Sorry, man, I can't do it. And he said, Jenny is gonna be devastated. I said, Well, I'm devastated for Jenny. Just tell her I think she's great. And that was it. Do you think you'd be more comfortable to have sex with Jenny if she didn't pay? Yes. Because then it's not in you know being it's not prostitution. Yeah that come to mind? Yeah, of course because also the money so good that once it's almost like heroin once you've done it, then you've done it and why would not just keep doing it would be the best prostitute. No, be so rich. I know a guy that got into it. And it was it got to a it was too easy. Us made too much money. Don't it's too much, and you're not for
To dig in terms of like,
you know, accessing your your talent stack in the sense of like, what else have you got? I feel like it's changing a bit. Everything comes at a cost. Yeah, there's an emotional cost to that high for it. Yeah, you pay for it for sure. I mean, most people who enter into that world they end up having substance abuse. Is it like they sort of trying Medicaid? Have you ever had any substance abuse issues in your lives? This doesn't mean fucking Jerry Springer.
No, no, I'm pretty good, I guess because I came into a lot of this stuff. And this Cowboys, actually, really, the website for the prostitution, dude was Cowboys, the angels. That's what the website was if you want to look it up, but
no, I came into all this stuff like, you know,
like, you know, I had the business I was I had a kind of normal life until I was about 2728. So you're, you're a bit more formed if I was doing this stuff. Like when
I'm 19 2020 which you know, definitely be like, I'd have a drug issue or something for sure. Definitely. And so is part of it that you are doing some form of performance like you look at Louis through back in the day and he would do he got the photo taken of him for the porno and stuff like that. Is that you? Are you actually the ultimate professional they can play in that realm but not go as far as to enter into the subculture.
I guess, I guess. I guess I've done a pretty good job of you know, getting my feet wet without getting the head wet. Pardon the pun, gentlemen line so
I think it's all about mining for the comedy as well. It's uh, where's the where's the comedy come from called I'll get out while I'm kind of ahead. It's gambling you actually gambling in Rio EC la. Does peace out people. It gobbles them up and spits them out. I know it's dangerous stuff. I'm gonna be honest with you, man. I've been lucky I could have been killed.
So many times, like I got into hotel rooms with dude. So I didn't know.
You know, I met off Craigslist. And, you know, that's like, I'm applying for jobs off Craigslist that's like auditioning to get murdered gentlemen. So I'm like, always just like it. And then this one guy was like, I, you should come to the hotel. I'll pay 200 bucks to take photos of you for a magazine. And I just walked into this hotel, and I knew it was SAS, this guy was like, 65. And all the clothes are like, staring at over the bed. Right? And he goes, I've got all your wardrobe here. Are you ready? And then we did about three hours of shooting. Right? And I didn't know this guy. He could have killed me. What was the ad? I quickly found out I said, What magazine is this? And he goes, No, no, no, this is actually just for practice. This was all just to keep my skills up so that I'm shop for the magazine. This won't be in the magazine and I'm like, okay, right.
So it's enough amazing. Is that No? Okay, that's it. I said, Listen, man, this is all sounding pretty sassy if you got the 200 bucks and he's wearing like a collared short sleeved business shirt. And he pulled the 200 bucks out from these top parking guys shoulder and he flicked it out almost like it could achieve and I saw all the 200 like, Yo Cobra, let's show
and then we just shot for like three hours straight. And I remember thinking I was gonna die. Because the number one rule on these jobs is you don't drink the drink and you don't eat the food. Can you just it could be spite yo to this. I did. I came out with this straight smack. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a unique city because you see, the girls wanted signs in Collingwood or whatever. And you know who the fuck is actually doing this? Who was actually calling up like you've got to be pretty desperate. And so you're probably one of the only coherent fucking people who isn't on fucking drugs that are in these situations.
Well, there's always going to be someone willing to do a job. It doesn't matter what it is, if there's some money attached to it, there's going to be someone willing to do it, I think because people are different stages in their life, you know, people will do the jobs I was at this stage where I wanted to 200 bucks. And I remember thinking
because he kept saying to me, oh, we need to put more massage oil on your abs and did you have like a top on or something and then like the ABS were coming so I was topless at this stage and like my friends, so we move pretty fast. We actually started in the white friends and and I didn't really get out of him and then he's like more massage. And then I'm like, I remember going to the bathroom and not putting the massage oil on. I just splashed it with water. And then I realised that because I didn't want the oil to touch me because it could be infused with poison.
I come back and he's like, taking shots and he's not looking at the screen going
DI still not enough while you show you put the oil and I'm like, this guy's good. Again. Let me go back and put some more on. So I know I got a bit of sight to end mortar, and I'm
lathering up and never gonna wash it off. And then I came back and he goes, Yeah, still not oily. And then I just like fuck and then I start obviously I put the oil and I mean, what are the chances of these spiked it? I mean, to be honest, I think that's a real hot one. Like putting poison to an oil. Yeah, it's like, I would have gotten a rash. Yeah, I don't think I don't know. I don't think it'd be the go to for criminals via the rash. be dead. Like, it's like, that's just
ingesting is this poison and then give me a rash. It's not okay, cool. So then I was like, I put it on, and I remember like five minutes later feeling really drowsy. Oh, no, I'm not even joking. So then I texted my buddy, Simon bell. And I said, Hey, man, this is it. Like Toad read. I've had a good run. Tell my mom that I love my brother. I love it. What did you What did you ask?
What What was the they sent a text message? I said, I'm at this hotel, this room number. This guy's got me from Craigslist. He's just spiked the massage oil. Did you? Did you have the message? Sort of half written on go or no way? No. So I'm typing this up knowing that like the poison is going to get me. I've got like two minutes and then I like typing in a percent and I'm still with it a bit I'm like, Oh my God isn't back. And then I got it just like I literally passed out on the bed. I'm on this single bed. And I remember being asleep in my eyes kind of closing you know, I thought this is it. gonna die and this
is past its gotcha. And then I kind of just, like relaxed not counting just like, you know, credit to this dude.
It's always like when I go on a plane, I relax with the idea of that it's gonna crash like you know, yeah, do that because
It's good to know if you're, you know, their plans already crashed. Yeah. Especially if you find Talia you can expect to make it in one place. It's been a good run. Yeah.
I'd love to say like a straw poll to have like everyone on the plane who has already accepted Yes, yes. I wonder if it's like because sometimes when I'm on the plane I'm thinking yeah the planes gonna crash but you like you don't want to put that into the universe. Yeah, so you like y'all? Well, we'll find out
mike mike shank who was in the office early in the way he was in the Air Force, but he said these bigger planes have four engines and they can run on only two specific way Yes. pretty confident nice. The big jets that take you to LA they've got more than one engine is probably four on there. So if what to do blow out
there was literally a crash investigation video on this on day three it but it's still nearly fucking remember it nearly was like the Rolls Royce engine or the
contest one I believe they talking stuff. Yeah, I do. What are you doing? I know it's not that knowledge and so anyway yeah you even fucking fine well
accepting the fact that it is it like this is the this is to be honest, the way that I justify it is it's like look it takes all the pressure off and we're having to fucking monetize the podcast
right and because in the storey will be fact they're only six months off being the biggest thing ever started
500 episode flight to LA What day is that? It's the 31st 502 Episode 500
to 500 boys, but the thing is that it's the ladies really like us. It's uplifting. I mean, you're the one who has to fly home and a couple of days, Cindy, no, I'm also gonna lie to turn up a nose. I just I just think that when those things are going to happen, it's like fuck, the storey that it's going to be
Emma got like I take the ego part of it which is like, I'll probably be in the paper. I don't know if you will say, No offence if an eighth thing you want to give you a credo if you died and they're applying you in the paper and then it's about what page you're going to be on. So you're breaking up in the pipe up. Yes. What page
his first feature the confidential Alice cost is written about you or struggling. She's not doing confidential. Oh, no, no, it was it shall know that. No, I didn't know that to you know, read the whole time. I mean, I used to see you in there every fucking day.
Like the idea I would you know how you're texting your mate. In that moment. I'd be on the plane texting Mitch Catlin.
Trying to get into an image. Yeah, we do. Yeah, yeah. Well, that Mitch. Well, yeah, we've worked with Mitch a few times. Yeah, he's always feels like his mates are always in the fucking confidential relationship. quick quote with confidential. Anyway, sorry. No, but I think that
would be potentially in the paper, or at the very least, a lot of tags on social media. This is the problem with VCs. You're talking about the guy who's invented something dies before the invention become a huge thing and doesn't get to reap any of the rewards of these invention. That's what you say. Yeah, can you find that out who invented something and then died and then these lines shot if you want
to what is all the wings shoots people who are inventing them? The wing so it says
the BASE jumping? Yeah, those ones they're giving them a go. And they were just like, yeah, it didn't work. And so everyone who tried the
Steve Jobs. I mean, he died. He saw a bunch of his inventions. He dies got to be honest, because then Apple goes missing the point. It's Steve, I think Steve Jobs was here. They wouldn't be doing all these. Steve Jobs died before apple. We wouldn't be talking about him. And so yeah, he's saying
at that point i'm saying i mean this with all due respect you won't be in the paper and I'll make sure that you
guys the gronk scored if it if we do fuck out and something does happen get us in the paper yeah I feel like they should be out to something now I'm joking Are you do definitely but I'm here I'm actually curious would you
get off your face course he would might I do think about it a bit but like when you see someone on the aeroplane you think they're gonna take top billing you know might say your Sebastian or like even Nikki Webster was on one says I she's just been on the MMA scene and this isn't good
but he'd like you to fight tiger. No I just sometimes now I really yeah and always YU bad
We're thinking about flying Jetstar. But I only have two they don't always know Yeah, um, but Yeah, I was gonna say what we said well, what I want to know is about this oil so you like the
aeroplane thing? I you know I get I can I'm not even joking i think that
i think that the whole plane the plane going down don't the plane let's be fair the plane going down is going to every single time be front page you know be good yeah you fake your own death. But we're talking about this yesterday on yesterday's show
parents unless they're terrible actors and yes I just couldn't tell you it so scratch What's the idea of being able to beat your funeral home because you actually no no no you tell them before that man that's really done. You said
surprised I have 50,000 new followers
there is something fun about the would you want to know? I wouldn't want to know what what people think know turned up to you in general?
Yeah, I like to the real. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I think that the best would come out do you think No, but you know what death is a great level and everyone fucking gets around it. Yeah, that's what I made up law you'd be feeling like we would Yeah, like everyone's just like oh you know what, even people that you might have had a falling out with? They're probably in that moment reconcile. Yeah get there. I think you can be there fat and grading
yeah you're wearing a disguise mass singer, the mass funeral or something like that and then like,
at funerals you were in just a white hair and you go up to the person that you didn't think was China. Yeah, he didn't think you'd ever show.
And we were on good terms with Josh when, when he passed, he were
and then you take the
concept that's a good that's actually that's actually not bad I could imagine something in Japan or something we are so close to that yeah fake funerals yeah that is coming out god this is it fake funerals don't get much but
it's very doc it really
works a desperate so you clearly you still alive now even after the oil thing but I'm guessing it was a placebo was it it really was the correct use of placebo was was
only a psychosomatic thing because I I fell asleep for like five minutes. What did you tell him? Nothing
I've got a photo of the like the actual moment where I thought I was dying. I'm on the bed in NY France, wearing like a seashell necklace
made me way. And then I finally just passed out.
Released you know
Woke up like five minutes later. Just
was tired. Would you be he was panicked?
Was he panicked? Or he would have thought that he got me better? It turns out he didn't poison the course.
poison. But when I woke up I was like,
I felt like I'd been reborn. You know, like the Second Coming is you made Simon right back. So I left that and then I'm like, I'm driving home. Like, you know, made me. I said, What the fuck I called him. I said, Tommy a fucking prick. I never seen these messages. And this was serious this. And he's like, oh, sorry, man. I just knew you'd be fine. I'm like, Yeah, you're right. I'm okay. You're gonna get a drink. He's like, Yeah, sure. But yeah, there's always you got to be careful. Yeah, don't be going into those situations. They could end badly. I'm just I am. I pride myself on knowing my surrounds you straight smack. I mean, it's a weird one. Because you're saying
street smart, but you also play on the streets hard. I mean, that's what does that mean? To follow? So you're straight smart, you have the knowledge of the streets, but you could then say I will I don't enter into the streets because I understand how dangerous it is. And then this guy going to these hotel rooms, it's like, I know this shit happens. But yet I enter into it. The thing is, if you thought about doing a Kobe do a documentary on you doing this stuff, or you done with it? Now I do it. I mean, I was going to a doctor and all that stuff, but it just wasted a lot of my time. I'd have meetings with all these fucking la people about your adventures. Everyone doing a show. I had like fucking so many meetings, so many meetings with this one dude. Like probably 30 meetings and was it a Craigslist organised? Because it might have been all these dudes a big they'd be like an office in Santa Monica. They do like big movies. Because I yeah, masterminds in talks, with some networks and stuff any and he just says like, this is step one of 17
And so you net when do you know it's going to fucking happen? You don't until you're on set. And even then it's until it goes away. And so the meetings that you're having, what was it for? What is it for?
our jobs that I was doing and how I was making money in LA. And then it was going to be hard to kind of replicate that, but we're just going to try and dummy it up and use actors and shit, but I don't know, man, I think you've got to have the real thing you need. You need to be doing it. For real? Well, yeah, that's the thing. It's the authenticity, like how can you take that sort of moment and how you were doing it? I mean, I think you could do it in this day and age easier because it would just be instant ashes into the storeys in fact and saving him down whatever.
Totally. What about so a comedian like you, who uses the stimulus of life to write your content? So it's like, you reflect the storeys that have happened and you put yourself into such a
It's interesting Josh night thinking about like, rather than sort of living in the past with all the things we've done right now is the storeys of the Future Past so like in the future This will be our passion so it's like you can get caught up in fucking trying to leave this future move this now like cool shit not doing this sort of out there crazy shit because you're trying to make something else work it comedy you know universe you can you can do both it's just like
you told me a lot about barefoot investors buckets. You just got different buckets going still aren't ready stuff man.
If you're gonna lie in G actually do weirdly enough I don't want to tell you about it, but I will. I am. I got paid money for a job that was it came before I'd done the job. So I thought I'd been paid incorrectly. So I quickly like took I emptied my
and I called IN James hitless I need to reactivate my other account I just like drained it from one account to INJ say everything's now and INJ yeah so and it turned out I just paid you early that pay me early but you never know
election on you though to think back I acted quick I'm proud of that my way I'm trying to get it I thought that there was a bunch of cash I just entered into his account
essentially being like finding 50 bucks on the ground. I can quickly pick up these realising it's yours. Yeah, the amount of storeys of cash getting deposit into people's accounts and was mistaken like hundred thousand bucks all there was like a million dollars to pay it back but of course, but they don't either.
Did you spend you did some silly shit with that money. That's why I moved
We incorrectly paid you it's, you know, I give it back. I'm like, sorry, that account has nothing in it. It's actually the same mindset of the guy who doesn't pay his parking fines because he thinks if you don't pay him they don't exist. And that's
Yeah, it's not that I don't think that they exist is that why would you pay him?
But anyway, I did go down a rabbit hole. There's this guy, the Nomad capitalist. He talks all about
taxation and how to minimise taxation people live in different countries and what sort of shit that was just fascinating seeing all these people on YouTube commenting being like are never declare any money with the IRS and then you haven't entered into a contract and then you fucking don't go crazy. They probably. Who was it? Wesley Snipes. Oh, he did time. Maybe. I'm pretty sure Wesley Snipes did time in jail. Your tax evasion.
Did he do
was he was he was this not from a woman can jump
Right now I don't know,
to be gaps in your intellect, like, like, pop culture.
He didn't know who postman line was when we bumped into postman line. Yeah, that's you should 29 3029 You should know that. How many years did Wesley Snipes three years? Technology thought I'd have to pay my taxes. What do you think we should? Just before we leave you?
The quick one today? It's good. Yeah, the we got the domain name, the weekly talk show.com.
What do you think we should do with it? Should we do another podcast?
And what would be your best episode for the week? We're trying to work that out. We're thinking maybe it was matter and it could be about like
doing something regularly and we could actually have people on know something.
What do you think, man? It's
interesting on what you don't have too many things going. How many things eager con, plenty, but like
You know, I kind of just have every ball up. You guys are like putting a lot of work into the daily talk show. If you've got time for this weekly thing, it's not gonna interview add
time. I actually don't have an answer for that.
Let me have a thing. Yeah. Well, the main reason I have to go is because in 23 minutes, this is a very agile William style problem in 23 minutes, Telstra shuts off my phone because I remember I got a phone call. Yesterday, I said, Hi, this is Telstra, an important message for Joshua Janssen and they the way they sold it in is it's like
we wouldn't need to tell you important message about
a disruption into your in your service. So my car disruption fact they're doing something with the the policies over there when you click through and they're like, the disruptions happening because you haven't paid $59 or whatever. And so anyway, they said,
yeah, it's happening tomorrow at five
What's Okay, so the next three minutes, I thought we got it just 15 minutes and just had on line. Yeah, yeah. Oh my relax clean edges.
I think the weekly talk show Yeah, I don't know about it. I just don't think about it. I think it's going to muddy the positioning of the daily talk show. Yeah, I think it's you don't have to explain like, Oh, no, that's for that. That's what that's like fact, man. It's a good point. We will do seven days now. So we don't really need it like the weekly It was almost like what I was thinking is our heart would be funny. April one next year. We just change the logo of the daily talk show on our website, and we raise your rancour, the weekly talk show.com and then we say we're rebranding unless you call it something else. I would take talk show off and you call it the weekly something so they mutually exclusive in a sense. Well, I like to the nightlife you know, we're real time.
We're real time creating right now. Yeah, it nothing's going any of you got you got the politics.
What's with all my enemies mentioned that but can
you stand up to her? Yeah, I'm doing live podcast for the actual game show that's going well, all around Australia. Except most cities now but I'm doing Sydney GoPros breezy. So maybe Perth. What's your movements on the 29th of October? So Tuesday is a real admin is it actually yeah 29
Sean breezy Yeah, cuz up. I might be flying back that day.
Yeah, I'm doing some Brisbane stand up shows that week and then I come back because because we are celebrating Episode 500 and the drain was will like our we should get ash.
Like a set before the show. I want you to do a live show. You can.
Already there are 79 it's in Abbotsford. Just so it's on a Tuesday, Tuesday nights. I just don't know if I can but I'd like to. It would have been fun. Yeah, man.
Yeah, man, I'd love to do it. I'm looking for a microwave. We make it work. Yeah. So lie for you too. When are you going to lie? I said now that I've got that cash I got in your account. I can pull it straight away with any other account it was this this one. What you're talking about just happened this week? Yeah.
my whole year's change so I'd like to start messaging people. I'm like, run back like I'm back didn't
have the client
so quick that it didn't have sometimes Yeah, I actually got
an email saying it's from that, but but you can't be too careful. I'm still keeping it in the INJ.
You know, last time we spoke landlord payments you were no no
It's probably a month ago actually. Yeah, so you think it's probably worth?
You don't have to do what I say up front. Yeah, maybe just say hey, mate, I know that I've been a bit fact. He's the next month in advance. I'm gonna pay a month in advance and you would you say two months in advance?
Um, what you tell us to think I'll pay later and then
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna lie in New York for two weeks doing like some podcast doing some stand up. Did you book it was this like, if I get this job? I'm booking the shit in. Is that how it happened? Pretty much what it they
haven't booked it. But now I'm going I'm definitely going to really check with them. I know. Yeah. Wait, so the three of us to go guess what we paid?
return for the 3020 900 something. Yeah. Less than less than 1000 bucks a day. He's good with Virgin Australia direct flight director.
Wow. Yeah. Oh yeah. I told you
I went on a date with this girl who's a virgin host he Yeah, let's say that she said that she wants to put me on her friends and family.
I didn't kiss her. And she said, Do you want to build friends and family? It might. It's called she's locking it down. Yeah. But now we've kissed a couple of times. And there's been no further mention of friends and family. So I'm wondering how do I bring it up? And so because we had a make, send you this link to the podcast, we made the other day who flew was flying to Dubai or somewhere. And he had a woman come up to him and said, hey, I've got these extra bags, I need to check them in. But I don't have enough bag allowance. But if you come in with me and put the bags under your name, you can fly business with me because I can do that. And he was like, Yeah, sure. And so flu is a flu business. Well, wow. That sounds like a storey that would you would get it actually does cowboys for princesses. Yeah, yeah.
Absolute jokes. And also that show cowboys for angels that was actually a casting racket for gigolos, which is on pay TV. You might have seen it. It's like that's the sharks are Garen is the executive producer of gigolos. But he also also was in seagull on this up. Yes, he's a natural juggler and I would have been on the show. So it was a whole verse. Yeah, but you but you actually add doing the job like it takes the sting out of it when it's all for
the shock the mom like, seriously, watch that. She's like, I thought you're like he's an actor. I am. So the LA New York thing. Do you want to you should try and draw the line. So the first of November to the 10th of November No, no. So that's when you're there somewhere there.
Yeah, I can probably come in the end of that. Yeah. into that.
That'd be pretty cool. context. They want it Yeah, tonnes.
Surely like the last day wouldn't be fun to do some form of
Australian podcast it with whatever. How do you broadcast over there? So it's just like you do when you're in Sydney? Yeah. We're actually packing down the house Jimmy is going this is the bed. I'm going to say it's the best podcast studio in Australia. Is it? Well for just
you know, a podcast that is a podcast and that alone. I'd say it's the best podcast studio in tone. I know it's
crazy, right? That's crazy. Let's back into that one up and get it Yeah. Okay, so definitely so potentially out because if if you arrive in LA first and then fly on to New York, maybe you do LA for a couple of days. He ate ninth and 10th assumption back and then when were you fly out to back to Melbourne. You go into new universe, right. Where are you staying? We haven't. Battery babies are right. They can be near Fairfax. Third. Yeah. Western in the grove. Yeah, there's a spare bedroom.
Maybe you can enjoy it going on. Yeah, we could share
He's asking for free I don't know, but then I would like you know, chip in. Yeah, no, no.
No, I appreciate it. We're looking for the thing about finding a place that isn't just one bait and then like trundles in the funding Landrum is in the step up is a to better that then has seven beds available, like they did. That's how they step it. It's like, well, we're getting all these people that want to rooms and then like a shitload. What about this? What about this, you give us a bunch of cash for the accommodation up front by you know, I think this is quite a good deal. Hang on. We'll do we can film any of the episodes you do in LA
for some sort of like there could be some sort of sort of around that we've got great video equipment, all the audio gear. Yeah, definitely. I'm wondering where our record actually so maybe
just quickly before we finish up what's going on with the Nando's thing
Last time you know two episodes back You said you're gonna give me a Nando's card or some I can't
guys and I'm paying fucking retail. I want to kill you pricks, we work we work closely with Nando's we were emceeing an event the other night, Fernandez and at that same event, every person that came to the Nando's event got a free hundred dollar DVD voucher, broken up into five lots of 20 and so the way you roll up which was quite quite funny today you got here, I ordered you a DVD from the Nando's in Clarendon three, Melvin. Yeah, which is amazing because it was only $9 Diddy, so I didn't pay a cent. Oh right. Yeah, but you showed me the Diddy Nando's shadow GT shy man Don't you But yeah, what do you enjoy it? For the Nando's at Clarendon? Let me just say that so I said to the do well, fuck it's Friday. I hope you did the WTF Mia which for 11 bucks at the moment you get four ribs a quarter chicken
Chips now I didn't 11 bucks I'm not eating ribs man. Ribs thing
we gotta wrap classical supreme I classic, but I've gone to the guy I might What do you think ships and he goes yeah and very very and he was regular or La Jolla up to you what do you think? Yes launch I'm like yeah you're gonna say that you
said regular I didn't want to join you know what he's 20 bucks tip was literally
like literally not paying for my DD boy because it's being it's being honest brain I have a couple of times. Actually this was the most embarrassing San Francisco the Cheesecake Factory. In fact they do the big nut burrito What is it fucking cold. Now they do like a big Mexican dish, you know the Cheesecake Factory
and they do like
smoothies like a big milkshakes and that sort of thing. And so brain I we got I got my burrito
must have been like it's a like a wet burrito you know, like
milkshake and then we should be sharing a cheesecake. That was a French woman. Whole cheese you know like just a slice Okay, there was a French woman who worked there and she said it seems like a bit too much food for the two of you. And it was like a real fucking aha moment when the waitress is like fucking calling you out how much you've already in America.
So we said I said no, like I think we're I think I know what I can handle.
And you identify the whole thing fine. The only vomited
when you're trying to lose weight, or that was that would that would have been facts. San Francisco. That was the start of 2012. Yeah. Now when would that have been
That's a good good question now record 2014 Yeah, it's probably 100 kilos something. So not not not not at my peak.
But still you can still Yes. Yeah.
Yeah Where are people getting the tickets t shy? ash Williams calm that IU forward slash geeks and has the shows forward slash shows are actually fact it'll be in the show notes that we've got 10 minutes before Telstra Patreon. Yeah, you asked him
seven and so you were one of the latest I'm thinking about being a 10 bucks supporter. Yep. So that gets me a mug. Get you a mug, like so you're already ahead really because the Mojo 30 bucks
to do it, because I want to give back at the start to the people who are giving to me
scratching your back. It's not about making money. It's about me saying thank you do you have? Do you have a mug with you now, do the 10 bucks now but next week, you are
maj to other people know, I know max. No. I mean no mug deficit. I mean, I had deficit a lot of people OIO emerged in terms of hats and so why is the manga different? Choose? Because I have lots of mugs. I'm out of the hat. I'm still accepting orders for that. Yeah, I I'm selling a lot of hats without without actually having any. Yeah, yeah.
It's a lot isn't it? I haven't got the hat. So I said, Look, I'm not gonna remove the sales link, but you need to understand I don't have the hats and they're like, that's so funny. And then they like give me the credit card.
Yeah, so do you think now that you have the extra cash? No, no, I'm not going to be yc on that there is a place like all the US. moles have them but I know that the grove they have these embroidery businesses in the fucking centre where you just
fucking do all of that much. Good question. be explained.
Per Unit 25 know my men not only that but if you come on board anyone who is $10 or more gets a free mug and thank you to Mr. 97 for emailed me back it was I will read it
there was some good stuff in there quick throws fucking massive to me she didn't
know there was more like links but it was like fully detailed was like yeah
he's gonna know but that it was on a Sunday that's why
I'm here now again you know doing doing the part because Mr. 97 did the right thing by me. Okay, amazing. What do you get out of coming on the show?
I do it because I do a lot of parts because sometimes I remember storeys that I haven't Tom so you know last time I did the pod to Todd that fire sale storey I told him probably two or three storeys I haven't even told I forgot about him.
But yeah, I think it's always worth doing that and when the when the smooth a deal over with a free DVD
here yeah it definitely wasn't good by the way that DD so again a DD is liking so Nando's is great he was so this guy he must have had like a sniffling disease or something like that he was like I think he had a ball I'm not even joking so that's why I caught the sniffles within two minutes.
Oil thing again
no no psycho freshman I immediately feel sick if someone next to me on a plane is coughing like like you can tell they have a cold that's not that bad. I've got
not even know do you think if I pay PayPal Jumeirah will they factor do that straightaway. Okay, I've got PayPal cash, I want to fucking just use that up but I'll just track credit cards instant. Okay. Anyway, thanks for coming on. And if anyone from you know, this listenership goes through patreon.com forward slash ash William show, I will give them something else because I just want to say if anyone is even listening to
Yeah, so maybe I did they let you know, you can write a message on my Patreon or Just do me on Insta ash Williams one.
Check that like, literally every 10 minutes so just
I'll just get on to the man.
Watch you are watching. Right You already back. I'll get you something better than that. Could you leave us an apple podcast review? Yeah, sure, sure. Can we watch you do it just after this? Yeah, you can go to my phone I do that.
Yeah, Apple Store type of vibe. Yeah, but I don't care about ratings anymore. I don't look at it.
YK case I choose man.
doesn't doesn't make a difference whether you get five or one. I mean, it's like,
you know, my paper. They're lucky they're gonna like it. There's always gonna be people who write one I've done so many like people writing like a lot of like ex girlfriends and stuff.
them I don't know, where they can only burn a fire and they also get into team effort one as well that a team effort one
team effort. Yeah, that was we knew then yeah, it was till you're already a jilted lover.
Alright. Alright guys the daily talk show if you want to be like and leave a review feel free otherwise you can email us hyper daily talk show.com Check out these Patreon before we wrap up yeah Happy Birthday wine
to you Happy birthday Dear why
quickly lie fact me one second
because you know what happens like when said you gotta disconnect
there's a massive Emerald in LA valued at $500 million dollars to a billion dollars sitting in the LA County Sheriff department because it's going
contested ownership actually owns it so it's just sitting in the sheriff's department. Let's go Alright, thanks