Checking-In With Stacey June

Stacey: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 319.

Tommy: What's going on, Stacey June?

Stacey: Hey guys, I hate odd numbers. That's not a good start.

Tommy: Oh no, she's one of those people, Josh. Actually, you, you two are those people.

Josh: I don't have much chakra vibes. What are chakras?

Stacey: Chakra vibes? That's so straight in. Like, I don't have chakra vibes from an odd number call.

Josh: Okay, yeah, what are—

Stacey: I like it.

Josh: What is chakra?

Tommy: Chakras, there's 7 of them. And who has it? Someone has a tattoo. Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris Jackson, has them down her spine.

Stacey: I imagine Jez Khan is gonna get one of those soon.

Tommy: Yeah, I could imagine that. Just, I need them all in alignment.

Stacey: Yeah, I'm concentrating on my root chakra at the moment.

Josh: What is it? Getting a root?

Tommy: Is that?

Stacey: It's in your perineum. So the area between your bit and your ass.

Mason: Ah, the gooch.

Stacey: No, no, that's what everyone thinks that if you're a bloke. You lift that bit up and it's the skin in there. There that's just not quite the crack.

Tommy: That's the gooch. Is it? That's the gooch on a man.

Josh: Are you talking—

Stacey: don't we have the same little space though? Well, I mean, mine's occupied by a ballsack, but I thought there was a space there that we all had similar. It's the perineum, I think.

Tommy: Uh, is that the muscle?

Josh: Mr. 97, can you do exercises?

Tommy: Squeeze your bum right now, Mr. 97. That's doing some kegel exercise.

Stacey: And that's your root chakra, if you can feel the right at the bottom of your spine. Yeah, and I'm working on that.

Josh: I'm trying to activate that at the moment for And how would one go about activating?

Stacey: You kind of try and send energy there. So if you concentrate on it and you start to flex it a little bit, don't like tighten it, just subtly flex it a bit, you'll start to feel energy there. Don't get too far away 'cause I don't know how that works for you guys.

Tommy: It's also one of the treatments for premature ejaculation.

Mason: Is it?

Tommy: Kegel exercises.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: So you just start squeezing. Release and squeeze it. It's good training.

Mason: When?

Stacey: Squeezing, releasing.

Josh: Squeezing, releasing.

Tommy: I mean, the thing is you could be on the train and watch someone and you wouldn't know that they're doing it.

Stacey: An ambassador for Kegels. You can do them anywhere. It's like a side gig.

Josh: I could definitely— we need to point out the fact that if you're watching the video, Tommy's got Stacey's sunnies on.

Stacey: A lot of people are quite fascinated by that shape. Yeah, definitely.

Tommy: It looks like a butterfly. So imagine having butterfly wings on each one of your eyes.

Stacey: Ben's, my husband's best mate, said it looks like a— is it a Mustang or some kind of car that goes like up?

Josh: You're asking the wrong people, but I think so.

Tommy: Yeah, the back of a Chevy.

Josh: It looks like a Chevy maybe. Is that a special shape that if people saw it, they're like, oh, that's premium, that's a Chloe glass.

Stacey: Oh shit, no, they're just 2 for $20 at Cotton On.

Josh: I don't know.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh shit, we forgot to say happy Fat Friday.

Josh: Oh yeah, it is Fat Friday.

Tommy: Happy Fat Friday and thanks for—

Josh: you're in town.

Stacey: I am.

Tommy: When did you fly in?

Stacey: Yesterday.

Tommy: And obviously first stop is always the Daily Talk Show.

Stacey: Oh, it's quite, it just kept me coming, so yes.

Josh: I did ask, I said to Stacey, I was messaging with you and I said, if it's too much, like we can do it another time, the invite's always open. And your initial response was, haha.

Tommy: I think I know what she was laughing to, 'cause I saw that.

Mason: Why?

Tommy: You said something about it might be hard and then you said our name of street, easy. Oh, I thought you were joking.

Stacey: No, you're both wrong. I, um, I was in the middle of something.

Tommy: Kegel exercises, squeeze and hold, haha.

Stacey: I was writing haha and then went to write another message but was preoccupied and didn't. The haha was very linked to the second message, so the haha just came and then I didn't write the second message for another hour and a half.

Josh: Because I said you can come on anytime, you said haha. I was like Oh, just in case you not wanna—

Stacey: And if Tommy got that, it would be such a different experience than you getting it. He would just be like, fucking random bitch, oh, can you swear on me? Whereas you'll be like, oh, what does that mean?

Josh: I did a glasses emoji back, just like me looking.

Tommy: He pulled out his chakra chart and said, I don't know what's happening here, but they're out of alignment. Stacey said, haha, don't know what's happening.

Stacey: I'm trying to channel what she means. And needs.

Josh: Someone punched me in the gooch. I need to know what's going on.

Tommy: Um, Mr. 97, can you please bring over what we have for Fat Fridays? Now I know that Josh— I don't know, part of the thread I just saw donuts, and I thought—

Stacey: I just wrote donut. Okay, very keenly, and then calmed down and went, if you want, like, just tried to pull it back, play it cool.

Tommy: So I know you've lived out of state, out of Melbourne, out of state where you grew up, Washington, D.C. Um, yes, for quite some time.

Josh: And I don't know if you were around for the Loon phenomenon?

Stacey: No.

Tommy: So you don't know about this? Do you know about this?

Stacey: I don't. And I mean, there's so many phenomenons to keep up with from Melbourne that you just get a— you start swimming in a beach and you stop giving a shit.

Tommy: Yeah, well, the smell of this phenomenon is relating to food. So it's a—

Stacey: oh, sugar. I can smell it.

Tommy: What has been here in Melbourne? Like donuts, of course, that was huge for a while.

Josh: Nice.

Stacey: Donuts was big when we were working together in Shepparton, actually, because I remember coming to like coming to Melbourne on the weekends and trying to find those spots that had opened and people would have lines there and blah blah blah.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely pho. Um, what else is there? Dumplings. Like all these kind of had their peak. Some last, others don't. Donuts are dying is what I'm saying.

Josh: Well, no, doughnuts are dead.

Stacey: No, they're not.

Tommy: Donuts are dead.

Josh: They're in Melbourne.

Stacey: Actually, you're right because the second Krispy Kreme got into 7-Eleven, you knew that there'd been a movement like and it was not a good one.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Stacey: You know, like, what are you doing? The branding behind that, like, as soon as they hit 7-Eleven, they just lost their worth, like, for me. They were no longer premium. They were like this, what? I don't know.

Josh: I lined up years ago for the, in Victoria when they came. And so I've seen the whole demise. I remember yelling at them because they were limiting it to 2 dozen doughnuts per person. And I turned around and I screamed to my friend behind me, I said, 'How many are you getting?' He said, 'One dozen.' I said, 'I'll have his other one.' And did they give it to you? Yeah, they did. So I had three dozen. Then I got home and mum's like, 'Josh, why have you brought three dozen?' She just had to exercise your right.

Stacey: It's like that conversation around an adult ordering a children's meal. You know, it's on that new Ricky Gervais movie. Sorry, his series where he says, 'I want the child's meal.' And then the waitress says, 'You can't, you're an adult.' And he said, 'Well, I'm sitting with the child. What if he orders two children's meals?' And she's like, 'That's cheating.' And he's like, but my, this child wants 2 children's meals. Sure enough, she brings them out and he just shoves the meal in his face, right in her face. And she's like, who are you?

Tommy: Do you remember, Josh, when we were in Brisbane filming that Stuff for Devo and we were staying at this hotel? We went downstairs and I was on a lean diet, no carbs. And so I just wanted sides, right? I just wanted like different sides. So I wanted 2 eggs, I wanted bacon, I want an avocado.

Stacey: Yeah, the 5, the 5, the 5.

Tommy: If I did the sum of it, it was like $30 if I paid for individual sides. There was a meal that was $15, which was eggs, bread, and avocado or something. So what I ended up doing was I was like, so hang on, I was like, hang on, what if I take, uh, what he's getting? So I just add on all the sides to his menu, to his meal, then I can get it cheaper.

Stacey: What, so the sides were less expensive if you were adding to a meal rather than if you were ordering them on your own?

Tommy: Yes, yes. So if you just got the sides from the sides section.

Stacey: So I had to entertain this stuff for a long time.

Tommy: So I'm very used to it.

Josh: Mr. 97, why am I—

Tommy: I push back on James talking about food always because he's obsessed, he's addicted, and it can be a bit annoying at times.

Josh: But you just did it today. This is Black Friday.

Stacey: You just said last time going around people are addicted to things. You say you are addicted all the time.

Tommy: He's addicted to chill.

Stacey: Everyone is addicted to things according to James Jackman.

Tommy: He's addicted to porn.

Josh: No, he pointed out Mr. 97.

Stacey: That's an epidemic. I feel like we can't even joke about that anymore.

Josh: It's such a big deal.

Stacey: Really? I think so.

Josh: What have you experienced? What have you seen?

Stacey: Well, I have not anything firsthand, but I just find that there's this big secret of like, it's like how ice was such an issue for such a long time and then everyone became aware of it, but it was kind of too late. Yeah, I feel like this could be the thing with porn. Yeah, I feel like everyone's got this real secret kind of thing, or maybe even Instagram, and then it all of a sudden, bang, it's an issue too late. Like, people catch it too late.

Tommy: I've been down the rabbit hole on YouTube of watching I Quit Porn videos.

Stacey: Really?

Tommy: Yeah, they do really well.

Josh: It's because you've, you've, uh, quit porn.

Tommy: I, I, QP, you quit porn. I've quit porn. And so not that I had a porn problem.

Josh: Sounds like it. Why would you quit unless you had a fully blown sort of— if it was affecting work.

Tommy: I Quit Porn, it can be a stance of saying I'm no longer going to watch porn ever again. It can be that. It doesn't mean that your habit was outrageous.

Josh: It's like my social media stuff.

Stacey: But I can tell you, sometimes it can become a bit of the same flex that from the brain that you start to kind of do things dumbfounded. You're just doing it like, and then all of a sudden, yeah, sure, there's a different result, but it's like meditating. No, it's not.

Tommy: There's diminishing returns in watching porn. I will say that. There is.

Josh: What does that mean?

Tommy: There is a lot of return on quitting it. In terms of if you're in a long-term relationship.

Stacey: Yeah, I think you're on to something.

Tommy: Like there's a few things I've thought is like, I haven't seen a woman naked other than my wife for a long time now.

Josh: You've stopped grabbing Amy by the neck as well, which is so dark.

Tommy: It's fucking dark, Josh.

Josh: But that's the whole problem with porn.

Stacey: I don't think it's the whole problem, but yeah, it's one factor. I think Tommy's more, you know, kind of open white conversation.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Stacey: You know, it was that, yeah, the naked thing. But the, the, the, yeah, the aggression's definitely part of it.

Tommy: I even think my— I'm attracted to my wife, always have been. I love her. But I definitely think—

Josh: testimonial—

Tommy: no, but I'm prefacing the fact that I think you lose something, and that's the diminishing returns of porn. You were seeing other things, like seeing other— getting satisfaction visually stimulating you from an external source. And so it's like if you had a tank and, you know, you're watching porn, it's sort of losing water in the tank. It's like that— this sounds weird because I'm now—

Stacey: I'm with you, I'm still here.

Tommy: I'm more attracted and have had more physical interaction with my wife since stopping.

Stacey: But it's also really important, I think, to not have sex lose that connection element. That's, I think, the big thing is that you start to get kind of off from something that isn't connection. And especially for chicks, that's such a big part of the pleasure part, is that connection part. So when guys aren't really looking for that in return, then you kind of join together if you're in a straight couple, and you're really offside straight up, you know. So I think, yeah, I agree with you in that your sex life would completely change if you press stop.

Tommy: I think so. And that's why I went down that road the whole time.

Stacey: You're looking like you're not interested at all.

Josh: I am interested, but I'm just like, I'm trying to work out like where the, cause I tend to like, I like pushing the line on these things and saying how, cause I get interested. So I just want to ask more questions. Are you wanking? Are you still wanking?

Stacey: Oh, here we go.

Tommy: Every now and then.

Stacey: That's an interesting conversation with relationships. I haven't, I'm in a pretty newish one, even though we're married, it's still only 2 years. And I still am, kind of, is it my right to ask if he's doing that? How often is that a conversation that I'm involved in or is it something that he has a right to do occasionally or however, you know, where is the line with that in relationships?

Tommy: If you're not having intimacy and he's wanking a heap, it could be an issue.

Stacey: Yeah, right. So it's when the sex stops is when the conversation starts, you think?

Tommy: And I don't think it's a, the issue might not be with you. The issue might be with a within a pattern of the man wanking all the time, actually stimulating yourself, 'cause I know I've done it, then I'm like, ah, I don't need to do anything. I don't need to have the intimacy now 'cause I've had that. And then I think as a young, I don't know, you're the only single bloke in the room, Mr. 97. You can form a pattern of masturbation as a young man.

Mason: It was worth it.

Stacey: And as a young woman.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I can only speak for young men. For myself as a young man.

Stacey: But I think that, and you know, there's such an interesting conversation around masturbation and chicks because there's all this research that's come out that it is such a help towards anxiety. So then think about that.

Josh: So it is meditation.

Stacey: Well, yeah, true, actually. We've come full circle. It is.

Josh: Yeah, come full circle will be the title of the show.

Stacey: I'm trying to get away from Mr.

Tommy: I know.

Josh: Okay, well, Mr. 97, do they teach in school? Do they teach you in sex ed? Do they mention at all about porn?

Stacey: Are you still at school?

Josh: He's finished. He just finished.

Tommy: He's the closest person to school.

Stacey: Is this appropriate?

Josh: He got 90s a 97-8er.

Stacey: We're not talking about underscores. I refuse.

Tommy: Anyone in media, we know she got high then. We know she got really high.

Stacey: Oh no, I just, I've got no fucking interest in an underscore conversation. Yeah, it is the most, oh, just awful conversation. I'm happy for you, but I'm not interested.

Josh: But education on porn, did they mention it at all in sex ed or no?

Mason: Nah, not really. It was more just around like safe sex and contraception and that sort of thing, preventing STIs, what STIs this, that sort of thing.

Stacey: Okay, right. And did you— there's a lot of STIs out there. Was it— was they— did they open up that conversation? Was it really quite broad?

Mason: No, I mean, they went specific on a few, but I mean, yeah, there are plenty of them that they didn't, I guess, discuss.

Stacey: He's sitting up, sitting back from the mic, saying to get uncomfortable.

Tommy: Yeah, this is why we get him on the mic every single time.

Stacey: It's so good.

Josh: So bringing it back to Loon, this is actually an integrated piece, so this is perfect. Loon, it's not donuts, just first of all.

Tommy: Yeah, because doughnuts are dead, as Josh said.

Josh: Donuts are dead.

Tommy: As in the—

Stacey: Can I guess what it is?

Josh: Yeah, you can. Yeah.

Stacey: Or am I going to take away the surprise element? Is it a Cronut?

Josh: No.

Tommy: Well, Cronuts serve them there. Okay, they serve them.

Josh: Cronuts are very old school as well.

Stacey: Oh, they had that before.

Tommy: Okay, I chose not to actually buy the Cronuts that were on offer.

Stacey: I'm not into Cronuts.

Tommy: Oh good, then glad I didn't get them. I hope you're into this. Open the box, please.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Here we go.

Stacey: Oh, it's— the packaging's quite impressive.

Tommy: It's unbelievable.

Stacey: It's minimal, but not top end. Whoa, okay, what's happening?

Josh: What do we actually spend?

Stacey: We've got marshmallows.

Tommy: We can have a guessing game after this as well.

Stacey: Croissants.

Josh: I can't get my wireless keyboard.

Stacey: Can I bank?

Josh: We're spending $50 on Lune.

Stacey: What? Wireless cable?

Josh: Um, ergonomics?

Stacey: No, that's not going to help you. So tell us, what's that going to help you back?

Josh: It will just mean I sort of spread like that.

Stacey: No way, it's a lie. It's just a downright lie.

Josh: I just wanted wireless charging.

Stacey: You're just a tech head and you just want equipment.

Tommy: Can you, for people at home, explain what you see?

Stacey: Okay, I've got— can I bags one before I get into it?

Tommy: Yeah, definitely. Which one do you want?

Stacey: That almond thing. Yeah, so that's an almond croissant. Yes. And then I've got—

Josh: I've got—

Stacey: I'm already starting. There's I don't know what that is, but it's got marshmallow and honeycomb on the top with chocolate icing drizzled along. It looks like some very extravagant pastry, but not quite a croissant.

Tommy: Wagon Wheel croissant.

Stacey: Shut up.

Tommy: I got two because I knew Joshy boy would love one.

Josh: And I need my own.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, you can have your own, mate. I'm gonna steal the Wagon Wheel.

Stacey: It's the Wagon Wheel.

Josh: What was that? I don't know.

Stacey: It's the Wagon Wheel ad. Wagon Wheel. It's the Wagon Wheel.

Tommy: Yeah, that weird voice.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: So we've got a normal croissant, a ham and cheese croissant, and then a chocolate-filled croissant.

Stacey: Awesome, because I feel like this is a great match because we all want different things.

Tommy: I just want to show the camera because these are— so these, I was at the South Melbourne Market and there's a line every Sunday, or every time I go, at this dingy-looking little stall that's set up and they've got a patisserie there. And I went and bought an almond croissant and it was $9. I was like, fuck, they got that expensive. The line is why I came, because I'm like, it must be popular. And then I went and bought it and I was like, fucking $9. I just spent $50-something on these. Wow, these wagon wheels, very special, $13 each. But the box is worth $15.

Josh: Yeah, that's what I was thinking, like, they're not making that much.

Stacey: Put your letters in there or something, something cute.

Tommy: Like you could put, I don't know, but the, um, the, the woman who started Lune, uh, I, I know her brother and I remember he was working at Friends Café through, through Jaco and the guys that own Tall Timber and Touchwood, some of the great cafes in Melbourne. He was working there and then his brother, his sister came back from learning from the best. Of course he can, mate.

Josh: You go first, Ace.

Tommy: Over in Paris and, um, Wow. And yeah, and anyway, she's started this thing and they were in Elwood first and then they've moved into this ginormous place in Fitzroy and they're just like the premium end of the croissant range.

Stacey: I appreciate that, but there are some things in life that you will always complain about spending more than the amount you used to spend. So it's like a pot of beer. No, cigarettes kill you, like, but a pot of beer, you know, when you go somewhere like my uncle came and saw me in Sydney and we went to the Opera Bar, which is, you know, it's expensive, it's touristy, but it is pretty impressive because it's right on the water.

Josh: You've done a live show from there.

Tommy: That's where we did.

Stacey: Have you?

Tommy: Unofficial. We didn't ask permission.

Josh: It was just the two of us and a guy and we were having a chat.

Stacey: I didn't even know about it. I would have come down. And I don't know, it was, you know, some exorbitant price for a pot of beer. And that was the focus of the night. He couldn't get his head around You're joking. He's from Wangaratta in Victoria, you know, so he's probably had a very standard beer price at the local pub for a long time. I believe that croissants are a bit the same. So you're gonna be pissed if you're not paying $4.50-ish for a croissant regardless of how decadent it is.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, if there's a—

Stacey: but I'm eating it and I'm very grateful.

Tommy: A financial crisis hits, what's happening? Are these businesses done?

Josh: They have to. Well, at least on that thing, like a big—

Tommy: Coffee, the addiction. I guess it is classed as food, like it's a sugary food, so the sugar is the addiction for people.

Stacey: And so the addiction talk again.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely, it definitely is.

Josh: Sort of, it has that element.

Tommy: I'll only— who have I— who else have I said is addicted? Who else?

Mason: What, in—

Tommy: you're asking me? In life. Where's my— where's my—

Stacey: you're addicted to coconut water, you're addicted to You're addicted to that football game. You're addicted to playing that. You are addicted to your phone, Stacy.

Tommy: Like, these are all truths.

Josh: Yeah, you definitely like to— you like diagnosing everyone.

Stacey: It's true. I do a little bit.

Josh: Don't we all?

Tommy: Former storeys you're going past. Oh wow, you know.

Josh: Oh no, I love it too. Well, I was talking to Scooter Derrick, who is just down the road.

Stacey: What a name.

Josh: Yeah, he was in the scooter business. He's been in bunch of businesses, but he turned his scooter—

Stacey: Justin Bieber in there.

Josh: Oh, thank you. Uh, good. Yeah, I— there was a bit of a— we'll give one to Stace as well.

Mason: Thank you.

Tommy: Oh my God, that is ridiculous.

Josh: Mr. 97 is just passing around plates. But, um, no, Derek was talking because I always mentioned that I think I'm a little bit autistic, and he was pointing out that—

Stacey: hashtag self-aware.

Josh: Yeah, but a lot of people like— he's sort of like, it's more like a spectrum. Spectrum, right? Like I probably got a little bit of it. Other people have more.

Stacey: I reckon I'm on the spectrum of having addictive personality and however that plays out is up to me.

Tommy: What's your latest addiction? What have you identified outside your phone? Because you've been an addict for years.

Stacey: Instagram.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: Instagram. Wow, that jam in there looks so good.

Tommy: You need to have a bite. I need you to just say what your crust taste alike. Because Amy pointed out something great for people listening. One Fat Friday we didn't mention anything about the taste of Mr. 97's cooking. We just talked about it.

Josh: There was a reason for that.

Tommy: But to protect your staff, um, $9.80 or whatever it is, I can get the receipt. How, from a taste perspective, uh, fuck off, Josh, stop eating on microphone.

Josh: Am I? I didn't even know that.

Stacey: What were you saying? Can't you hear it?

Tommy: No, the dopamine's releasing it with each—

Stacey: oh God, he's rushing. Okay, it's, um, everyone's gonna freak, but it's quite moist inside and it's layered well. You know when sometimes you get into a croissant and— I'm gonna keep going— you get into a croissant and you have those holes like it's like pastry of mister layers in there and you thought your tongue could go in there. This doesn't have that. It's completely even with all of the layers. It's thick as, and it looks like it has a mohawk of almonds.

Tommy: I think that if we took just that bit where you explained it, had no vision, and we put it to something else, it would sound like this.

Stacey: I'm a radio broadcaster, that's what I do, and I learned without any vision on anything.

Josh: Do you know what we'll do? We'll get exactly the transcript of how you described it and we'll get Mr. 97 to leave a Facebook review describing the croissant as exactly that.

Stacey: You can say bye Stacey June and see if they know who I am.

Mason: Perfect.

Josh: Do you reckon?

Stacey: Or maybe say bye Thinkagirl, that might work better for you.

Josh: We'll get to that in a sec. But the croissants, are they French?

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Croissant.

Stacey: Croissant.

Josh: Would they be upset with this, you think?

Stacey: Yes, French, they don't want anything meddled with.

Tommy: Nah, so I will say, like this wagon wheel one.

Stacey: So Tommy's gonna speak on behalf of the French.

Tommy: I know you were the last there.

Josh: It's the most— yeah, it's not the most grandiose thing he's ever done.

Tommy: I was in Paris.

Stacey: You got right in there, didn't you, doll?

Tommy: Can you just smile at the camera? Just smile at the camera.

Josh: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Tommy: So when I was in Paris, Amy and I, we searched best croissant. I mean, this could go two ways, be a piece of shit. Anyway, we found this place, we went there, opened up. The almond croissant was not like a Mohawk-y, like this is a bit stylized. Isn't it? But it is a similar flavour and sort of like, it's a bit softer over there, but we're nailing the real, like the, plain croissants here and the almond ones, I think. But the others are bastardized.

Stacey: I agree.

Josh: But it's similar to like Messina. So Bree and I would always go to Messina, and then we started going to— have you heard of Piccolina? It's on Smith Street, and it's more traditional gelati. And you see the difference. Messina, they just put— you really, what you're buying is like a grocery list of Tim Tams.

Stacey: Yeah, I don't need turmeric in my ice cream.

Josh: Yeah, they're putting too much stuff in there.

Stacey: I don't need I don't need nutmeg. I don't like, I don't need cracked pepper on watermelon. Like, fuck off.

Josh: They're all the healthy ones. Yeah, I put them in the healthy basket. Like green tea, like matcha green tea.

Stacey: No, I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry, that's not healthy.

Josh: Matcha on this, on the spectrum, on the spectrum of Messina, I'd prefer to go, they do one that's, um, and then we can move on from food, Tommy, before you have a meltdown. Um, it's Fat Friday. Who was the guy who ain't nothing but a hound dog?

Stacey: Elvis Presley.

Josh: He, um, they had an Elvis Presley ice cream and it had chunks of brioche, jelly, peanut butter. Delicious.

Tommy: Do you know how he died?

Josh: I think he did. He had a heart attack on the toilet, wasn't it? Eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Tommy: Can you confirm that, Mr. 97? Because that's what I've heard, that he was He was addicted to food. I heard that he went out eating a peanut butter sandwich, having a wank.

Stacey: And I think—

Tommy: having a wank?

Stacey: No one's ever going to know that.

Tommy: Yeah, I know.

Stacey: No one is ever going to be able to confirm that.

Tommy: What about the person that walks in and sees King of Rock?

Stacey: I mean, I don't know how you guys end up at the end of wanking, but I'm sure it's not anything that obvious unless you're the king. The king has a certain—

Tommy: I don't know, we'll get clarification from from Mr. 97 in a moment.

Stacey: To a point, because I still argue the fact that anyone can really clarify.

Tommy: Well, I just don't want Elvis's estate to come after us.

Josh: Yeah, I don't know if that's gonna happen. This is the second time you've been on our show, is it? Is it? Yeah, the first time.

Stacey: The first time, it's obviously not very memorable.

Josh: No, I was over— he thinks that you've been on 3 times.

Tommy: Yeah, that's what I was thinking, because— no, because you came into the studio. That's right, we had you, Josh, on FaceTime and he was away.

Josh: Remember that?

Tommy: Oh yeah, sure. At the end of this desk, but it was you and I in.

Stacey: But that's the only time we've done this.

Tommy: Yeah, that is. Yeah, mate, I've done about 100 and 250 shows with you.

Josh: So that's— this is the reset time. You guys had a show together in Shepparton. We actually— Tommy and I spoke to Craig Bruce on Game Changers.

Stacey: He told me, I spoke to him yesterday.

Tommy: Oh geez, all right, Craig, far out. I thought it was special.

Stacey: I wasn't on the show.

Josh: He's doing the round.

Tommy: It goes from us to Stacy.

Stacey: Okay, I wasn't on his show. I just chatted to him. Him.

Tommy: Confirming facts.

Josh: Pull the episode. Hold up, I got an episode.

Stacey: I will not go on Star FM. Follow Star FM, you can get fucked. No, it's fine. I wasn't on your show.

Josh: So you were colleagues before you were friends, would that be a fair— Well, yeah, we had—

Stacey: It was weird though, wasn't it?

Tommy: We had moochies. And then radio is weird because one minute you don't know a person, next minute you're spending so much time with them and it needs to be, it needs to have a sense of rapport with the person. You need to be friends essentially. So it's like a fake friendship that will either blossom into a putrid ugly friendship that you need to act like it's a good one or it will be like a friendship, ups and downs, happy, but you actually genuinely like each other. And that was where we landed.

Stacey: Yeah, we did. And that doesn't mean, you know, you speak to each other every other day, you know, because I think radio is funny like that. Everyone thinks Hughesy and Kate are going to each other's kids' birthdays and stuff. I don't know if they are or not, but it is unlikely, particularly if you're on air at the time because you're spending so much time with that person. You actually need that space. And our programme directors with all the shows I've done have always said try and have that space outside of work because you need to have a life without the other.

Josh: Well, you had a life outside of what you were doing with Tommy because he was— I remember last episode saying how you guys were doing the show and then you were doing before it was cool, before it was a side hustle, doing, uh, the Thinker Girls podcast. 7— how long did you end up doing it for?

Stacey: Well, when were we at Shep? I mean, it was years before Shep even, so it would have been probably about 7, 7 years. Yeah.

Josh: And so was that part of the reason for doing— like, did you see when you first started that, were you on us on another show, and did you see it as an opportunity of like having I've got my radio relationship, I got a podcast relationship, like being able to sort of diversify in regards to your energy that you're spending.

Stacey: I wanted to offer the programme directors a different offering. And whilst I still think Tommy and I could have done really well on a bigger market, I was very aware that there was guys and girls everywhere. And, you know, a lot of people think that Christie and I knew each other before we started the podcast, we didn't. So the friendship grew from a work I guess, collaboration. And so we, and I was very strategic on that. I'd done a lot of, I kind of had been in PR and other jobs in the past before I got into radio. So I was quite, I was a bit savvy in terms of the approach to The Thinker Girls. And I was aware that two girls, you know, wasn't around. And it was a time, we were probably a little bit before the time, but I was aware that that was going to be something different. And it was also something I was really passionate to push. So I felt very, aligned with that, I guess, I don't want to use the word cause, but to be able to get some chicks up. I felt very passionate about that.

Josh: And did you think it was going to end up as a podcast? Was that like, was it going to be a new media show forever? Or was it the stepping stone to get what you ended up getting?

Stacey: Initially it was 100% a stepping stone. Yeah, it was. And it was interesting because it worked so well on the forum that we started it, but it was 100% a strategy to get get the radio show we wanted. And then when we tried and got rejected, rejection after rejection after rejection, I stepped away and thought, okay, well, maybe it's telly or online video. So we kind of branched out and started doing sketch stuff within kind of a year or two from doing the podcast to see if we could, I guess, open up those doors because radio wasn't— it just— no one was wanting to actually follow through with the things we were being told.

Tommy: Yeah, I remember you being— you were very strategic. You've always been very thoughtful about where you're going. And it didn't include me.

Stacey: Not at that point, no.

Tommy: No, but I think that is the reality, right? Like, I think I was quite—

Stacey: I feel like I was quite—

Tommy: not—

Stacey: I was pretty honest.

Tommy: No, you were like, this is a year at least.

Stacey: Yeah, I was pretty honest.

Tommy: Well, you had the year contract.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: And I said, you remember I said I want to be out at Easter and I quit at Easter.

Tommy: That's solid.

Josh: You just wanted the extended?

Stacey: I wanted to get back to Victoria. So I was doing Cairns radio and I was incredibly homesick and I wanted to get back to where I could drive home to Melbourne. And also I was excited to do the show with Tommy because we'd had mutual friends and I knew that was going to be, I just thought it was going to be an easy kind of show because we'd had, I don't know, there was just something where I felt like this can work.

Tommy: Yeah. I think what's hard, like I went in so great not knowing about having a co-host or doing anything to do with radio. I hadn't even talked to the radio in that capacity ever. But Josh, like if you think about our relationship and what we're doing and our vision being clear and us getting aligned on our vision, And knowing what we want to do and mutually putting in effort and, you know, knowing where it's going. Imagine having not that.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And that's not saying it's a bad thing. But when I was with Candy, I knew she wanted to be out of there and it didn't include me. And I wasn't going, oh, it's not including me. It's like a legit thing. You're all vying to create your own path.

Stacey: That's hard.

Tommy: And so that is a friction point because if you look at what you and Christie did, you guys, Like maybe that's why it works, right? Maybe Hamish and Andy had the think-a-girl thing, has the, they did, they've created the success, but maybe they were like, this is the thing together and the vision is clear. Not looking, always looking left and right.

Stacey: I don't know, it's tricky now because, you know, thinking now a bit more on my own again for the first time in 7 years, it's like, is that going to work out differently if I was to go down that road in the future? And at the end of the day, we got to a point, but we still didn't get a drive or a brekkie show as two girls. So that worked for them, but it didn't, I mean, if you wanna look at what worked, we had so much that worked, but at the same time, the big jobs that I think in my opinion, we deserved, we didn't quite get to. And so I think in some ways it did work and in others it definitely didn't.

Tommy: So I've seen an Instagram post that you put up. We just need to preface with you guys and what you've sort of decided to do as part of the Thinker Girls and the thing you've created after 7 years, consciously uncoupling.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: Coined by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Josh: Decoupling, uncoupling. Uncoupling.

Tommy: Was that Gwyneth?

Stacey: Yeah, Gwyneth. And Chris Martin.

Mason: Yeah, that's right.

Tommy: You probably served up that scoopla for me.

Stacey: No, I don't think, you remember, no, I refused to do scoopla for a while.

Tommy: It was a gossip segment on bloody—

Stacey: And all the girls had to do it across the network. And I said in Cairns, I won't be doing that.

Josh: Yeah, great.

Stacey: But it wasn't great. Because at the end of the day, I've learned this and this is a big lesson I learned.

Josh: I want to learn too, because I didn't do it when I was a digital content producer. All the other digital content producers fucking hated me around Australia because I refused to do it. Like I was like, I'm on a National Drive show. I'm doing show content. I'm not going to rewrite Perez Hilton's fucking article and pretend like I care about Lindsay Lohan.

Stacey: It's tricky though, because at the same time you're on a, you're at a commercial radio station and there's rules, you know. And I go back now and I think I'm glad I did that at that point, but would I have that same, I don't know, I'm going to use the word tenacity and give myself a favourable word, but that's a stretch. Maybe not. Maybe I'd just come in with a little bit more understanding that it's a job and that it's not my business.

Tommy: Yeah, if you did it again is what you're saying. Yeah, well, it's like standing for what you believe in versus following the leader. It's like, it's a fine line. I don't think you do what you've done being that person.

Josh: I mean, what would have led to— what would have it like— would have led to better relationships with the CD in Cannes? So then you get like a bit like— what's the actual outcome?

Stacey: But you look at it, right? There's sometimes where you get to a place and you'll have all these different peaks and through your career. And there are times, like particularly if I'm thinking about a family or your priorities change, you start to look at passion projects as work. And you know, different things start to align differently. And so you think about, well, it's not care factor, but it's more of your approach, something switched in you. And particularly for me, that was my be-all and end-all. You know, my on-air life was very much my identity and it was very much was finally a time where I felt like I'd really got into something after, you know, all my 20s, 'cause I got in quite late in my 20s, that I found something that was my passion. But you know, then there's other points where my passion now is my new marriage and, you know, building kind of cool content that might not be necessarily linked to cash. So where else are you gonna get, does that job become a work thing now that you go and do, you know, for money? So it's just, you start to kind, you move around depending on where you're at, I think personally as well.

Josh: Decisions early on where you were saying as a team, as a Thinker Girls team, we're gonna give it 2 years, 5 years. How did you sort of create momentum or an idea in your head on how much time you wanted to give it?

Stacey: We didn't really. I think we were in it for the long haul from the beginning. And I think we're both very kind of fairly spiritual people, fairly people that will follow energy. And luckily enough, yeah, we sit there touching our perineums. No, we, but we, I don't know, we just kinda see what presents itself as well as have a bit of a plan. And I think when you have such a chemistry with someone like that, often the universe or often kinda things are written for you a little bit and things just kind of either come up or they go down and you learn to just follow with what you're presented with. Whilst we did have lots of dreams and goals and those kinds of things, it wasn't, I mean, I don't know if this is to our detriment, but there wasn't this kind of business model structure behind it at the start. At the same time, even though we ran a business.

Josh: A joint vision though?

Stacey: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I think, but that changed so much depending on what came up and kind of, you know, what came up and went down. So it was tricky to have that one thing because in this industry, you get offered this, this goes away, this comes up, it's hard.

Josh: If you're pitching for a TV show, the difference between it happening and not happening is the difference between a whole lifestyle change.

Stacey: Totally, and we pitched for a telly show 2 and a half years and we got very close. And that was last year and we got an email after a lot of work, ready kind of thinking about budgets and it fell through and it was just another thing. And so the decision has been lots of things coming where you kind of give it everything and then you get presented what the answer is. It's not all in your control.

Tommy: Well, I think the vision, the business model, Josh, that you sort of saying if the vision is to get the radio show, the business model's in the radio business, right?

Stacey: So it's hard.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: It's kind of two connectors to it.

Tommy: And then what you're doing now, is that about like you don't know if it actually equates to dollars yet? But then how many things have been created that then turn on a tap of dollars once it's been approached from the, we might not make any money from this, which is a huge risk again. You've always taken risks.

Stacey: Yeah, I have. I don't know why. I think I'm easily bored.

Tommy: It's that shaka thing.

Stacey: Well, my energy healer dude after, you know—

Josh: You say energy healer dude?

Stacey: Yeah, he's my first guest on my new show actually. His name's Michael Trembath and he's— I'd have no real idea of what he did when I went in there and I walk out feeling very different.

Josh: So it sounds like the guy on A Current Affair who pretended to be a psychologist.

Stacey: Don't you dare put his name in shame.

Josh: As in That idea of not knowing who he is. So what was he actually, what is he described as?

Tommy: What did you walk out, you said you felt something, what is it?

Stacey: It's energy, like it's movement of energy. So there is this kind of practises and ways that you can actually transfer energy that might be blocked from anxiety or stress and move them through your body. And he kind of facilitates that with like using pulse and a bit of Chinese medicine and lots of different things to figure out. Maybe which organ might not be buzzing and tries to focus from that perspective. So there's— and listen to the show because that's what the whole premise of the new show is, is that it's about trying to explain to the cynic, essentially. It wasn't a fucking plug. You guys are just rolling your eyes thinking, oh no, no, no, I appreciate it.

Josh: I'm hot for being told off.

Tommy: Well, no, Josh, I think, is more sceptical when it comes to energy.

Stacey: And that's what I think. I've always been into that, but the show is about opening up the mind and speaking to someone like him and saying, what do you hear when you listen to the pulse? How did you learn to do that? What teacher? What's your— what's the degree? What's the, you know, the different parts that make you this person? Because I don't think often they get the opportunity to do that because people like myself believe and people like others don't. There's not a conversation in between. So that's what I hope the show's doing, not necessarily to spin people, but to allow these types of practice, like practising alternative therapists to be able to talk about their craft in a way that everybody can appreciate, even if you don't go to it.

Josh: It feels like there needs to be a label around it though, because we use labels as sort of systems to understand trust. And so if you think about like the Mel Gibson, what's her name? Belle Gibson.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: You know, like someone pretending to have had cancer and doing all this sort of stuff. Because it's— if we look at it as this is all alternate medicine or this is all in one thing, then unfortunately the good with the bad are all aligned.

Stacey: So how do we create the same as like a bodge boob job and Western medicine? It just means that Western medicine is much more, um, there's much more money behind it, so it's kind of backed and there's all this money to tell us that this is the way to go. And people like that work in these kinds of fields don't, they're not focused on that perspective. And so it's like hard to then try and have something that's very West and the way that that structure is when the essence of exactly what these people are offering is the opposite for good reason.

Tommy: So there's people that won't believe anything unless it's been proven. And then there's still a bunch of stuff that they don't understand that hasn't been proven. Is there a little?

Stacey: But I think there's not a lot of money or not as much money in that. The voices in the conversation are kind of very uneven. If you watch, I think it's Heal on Netflix, it's a documentary and it really speaks to a lot of the science behind a lot of the alternative therapies and different modalities and it's there. It's just, you kind of wonder going, why are we still thinking that this is woo woo? Like this is the whole thing, there's all these people, people that have been brain surgeons that have gone, shit, there's gotta be something in that, that you know, people that have, completely been in both worlds that have gone, okay, there's actually a fact here, but we don't hear about that. So it's interesting to see why that conversation is still so, I guess, drowned out. And I guess that's because there's pharmaceutical companies that want you to believe they— you need their pill and they've got the most cash.

Tommy: I was surprised Amy went to the pharmacist the other night. She's been sneezing and feels like she's got a cold. She's like, I need some cold and flu tablets. The guy's like, tell me your symptoms. He wouldn't give them to her. He's like, no, I think it's hay fever, which I thought was commendable for a pharmacist. Like, they used to just give them to you. Okay, yeah, but he's like, no, I want you to try. If you need them, I'll give them to you, but go home and take Telfast. Amy doesn't get hay fever, and it helped heaps. But I was like, that's, that's a step forward from the, you know, from the gatekeepers. Is there anything though that is the line for you in terms of woo-woo, you know, in terms of what people would class as woo-woo, or, you know, nothing.

Stacey: No, there's not a lot. Like, I mean, I stick a jade egg, which is like a little crystal, up my vagina. Oh gee. Yeah, like I—

Tommy: Look at Mr. 97's face.

Stacey: I'm trying to give you an idea of where I'd go, but maybe there's things that are way more extreme than that. What does a jade egg do? It activates the root chakra.

Josh: Okay.

Stacey: And so if you're a person that's gone through I don't know, maybe like myself, I had a miscarriage. So there's energy pockets that you turn off really subconsciously and you need to activate them to get things moving again. And how are you supposed to do that? Like there's no Nurofen tablet that's going to start to move energy to that area. So you move to things like stones that have healing properties, or at least there's maybe something in there that is weighing on that area that you you can kind of at least focus your energy on. There's plenty of different reasons as to why it may or may not work. But for me, it's also having that kind of physical part or that physical object there for me to focus on trying to awaken something that may be a bit blocked.

Tommy: What does Ben think? You know, I think a partner's—

Stacey: My husband.

Tommy: Yeah, opinions or support is super important. And what has his journey been?

Stacey: He's a very different person to what he was, if that makes sense. So he had a big change in his late 30s, ended up with prostate cancer really young and kind of changed his life around. He was like, how have I lived this way and not known? Like, where am I out of touch with myself? How has this been growing in my body? And I've got no effing idea. And it was just a freak checkup that made him take his PSA. Is it a PSA? I think it's a PSA test for dudes. To figure out your level. It was just like, let's do an all-body checkup. He did that and they saw it was a little bit high. Antibiotics, another round of antibiotics, didn't go down, didn't go down. I might have to give you to, you know, pass you on to a specialist because you're young, so it's not going to be anything serious, but I would be irresponsible if I didn't. Goes to the specialist, more antibiotics, goes, all right, we might need to do a biopsy, cancer.

Josh: That's crazy.

Stacey: And so that changes you. And he just started to maybe, I think he, he would say he probably started to self-inquire a little bit. So he opened up a very big part of his life and his mind to the way that he has a conversation with his inner dialogue. And he's still working through that. So I guess, yeah, he's open to all kinds of different things because I think one way, in the way that we're kind of taught, which is go to the GP, do this, go to work, go to sleep, whatever, definitely didn't work for him. And so, yeah, It's really nice to be partnered with someone that is open-minded, whether he is sticking things up here, there, or anywhere. That's a question for him, but—

Josh: You're not sharing jade eggs?

Stacey: No, no, that's too far. Come on, Josh. But he's very open-minded, and I think just, I think it's kind of an open conversation. You know, nothing is closed. It's like, okay, well, why did you do that? How did that work? It's just all open at our house. It's not—

Josh: What's your relationship with religion?

Stacey: I don't know. It's kind of changing because I was pretty anti— For a long time, I was very passionate about marriage equality and I found it really gross that I had been raised in a, I guess, a setup and structure that told me that people I cared about were different to me. And I found that really uncomfortable. Um, but at the same time, I'm quite spiritual, and I do, I guess, go back to that of learning an understanding of prayer. And so even though I meditate and it's very different, there is something, I suppose, nice about that we were taught to kind of talk to someone else, that there is something a bit bigger than us. So I have started to appreciate that a little bit more, but I'm not a religious person, no.

Tommy: It's awareness beyond yourself. I think it is training to do, and a lot of the practises are something that you need to show up and do. So there's a consistency that it breeds in people.

Stacey: And it's a version of self-care, I think, for lots of people, which I'm a massive advocate for, but I don't like the man-made rule of it. Like, I think it is so particularly individual, and that's exactly what I find a lot of my work now is about, is that I've got an idea of what works for me. I'm gonna share that with you, but it's your job to go find out what works for you. And I think we all have these inner, inner kind of magic sockets inside of us that we just want someone else to tell us what theirs is and go follow theirs. But actually, we all have it within us that's very much dependent on how that comes out, how we have that communication with ourselves, and activating an inner dialogue that might be about something that's not here, or it might just be a conversation with Do you think that that creates more empathy from your end? For people?

Josh: No, I think— yeah, I think because if having been in that, you know, seeing the spectrum of people who are non-believers to believers and everywhere in between, not being a believer isn't a negative thing. It's someone's perspective. It's the way that they've seen their life.

Stacey: 100%. It's like everything. We all have a right We all come to the table today with our experiences and with the way we were raised and with what happened 3 hours ago in our day. I think that's what makes humans kind of amazing, to be honest. But I think self-care, in particular for me, when I started thinking about doing the new show and thinking about launching into coaching and doing things like that, I was really hesitant because it has become a little bit elitist and it can become a little bit preachy. There are extremes, which there are of everything, and that's certainly not my style. My style's kind of everybody is invited, and it has always been like that with any project I've done. It's even though I did a very girl-oriented project, dudes were always invited to that conversation too.

Tommy: Josh and I had a great chat last night about, I wish we recorded it, but it was around delusion and a healthy, very Buddhist, healthy dose of delusion in what you're doing. A sense of that we're actually working this out. This is going to be the thing, which could be seen from the outside as delusion. From the inside, it's actual clarity.

Josh: We're having a good laugh. We're having a very good laugh.

Stacey: I think it helps the ego too.

Josh: Yeah, we're laughing hard at how much delusion we have in regards to like what your plans are.

Tommy: Yeah, just our vision, what we want to do, what we think will happen, where we think we'll be.

Stacey: But why is it a delusion?

Tommy: Well, no, what I said was Josh and I were speaking and he was saying some things and I was like, Is there a chance this is delusion? Like it was a removing from the moment. Not saying you're fucking deluded.

Stacey: But people would have thought that you would have had a thought maybe about that when I was in Shepparton thinking my next job after this teeny little country town job was going to be a national show based in Sydney.

Tommy: You would have thought that?

Stacey: I think a lot of people would have thought that that was a deluded thought.

Tommy: Yeah, I was thinking about myself.

Stacey: Well, maybe that's why we get along because we allow ourselves to be open to those opportunities. But I think a lot of, I know my family did for sure.

Tommy: Then so what we kind of established was that the delusion's okay. It's not a negative thing.

Josh: Yeah. A delusion isn't a blur. A delusion is a different lens. And for us, it's sort of crystal clear on what we're doing, but we identify the fact that not everyone else can see what we're seeing. And it might be completely wrong. It might not even exist.

Tommy: But what's the difference from the person that succeeds and has that same thinking?

Stacey: Well, I don't think it's a delusion for you. I think it's— you're aware that it is a delusion for others. It's how real it feels like our reality, but it is, and it is your reality. And so, and that's why we can't put all of our crap onto other people, you know, because you're allowed to have your reality. That's your— that's actually what you are entitled to, is to have your own running of your own reality and how you You have to be very careful with how you orchestrate that because that will 100% come back to give you the path to your life. So if your reality is that you're an asshole a lot of the time, but you're very comfortable with that because that's your reality, then you watch your life unfold. It's not all going to be great. You know, not that I'm saying it works as simply as that, but I do believe that that reality thing is important to keep focused on because if it's someone else's delusions, then that's their reality, not yours.

Tommy: Yeah.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: Well, I think the sense or the conversation around delusion came from a feeling or a sense from someone else in my life that I felt like there was some judgement or projection of what they're doing.

Stacey: Their delusion. And so it's like you caught the delusion, but it's not yours. It's a delusion for them. It's not a delusion for you.

Josh: Do we have a joint reality? Do you think like what is the joint reality?

Stacey: I think sadly probably not, and I think we need that a bit more. And if we all agreed on particular virtues or something that we had, which is why sometimes I think religion can work because people try and live by a particular ruling system. I don't like that it's mostly made by freaky men, but like one particular that I'm thinking of and that I have been most associated with, but Yeah, I don't know if we do. I think it is quite different and it's becoming more and more our own lane as time goes on, which is— yeah, I think maybe it used to be a little bit more combined. I don't feel like it is.

Josh: As someone who's quite independent, you've obviously had some, you know, you've got Ben now, you've had relationships throughout your whole life with all the radio stuff, with Christie through Thinker Girls. What have you learned about yourself through the big changes in the last couple of years?

Stacey: I've learned so much. Um, last year, the last 12 months has been incredible. Uh, well, I'll start with Ben. I think for him, for what I've learned from him was that I had an idea of what vulnerability meant, and then I had to just completely let that go because my idea of vulnerability and then the vulnerability you really do need to show in a relationship is just so completely different. So you think for me, I've written a lot and I'm writing a book about being single and that kind of process and working on yourself in that time. So when I met Ben, it was very much a, "Oh, fuck yes, he's here, this is great." Not that I put the tools down, but I definitely didn't think I'll be picking them up so quickly. And I had to pick them back up because not only was he a person that provided me with such love that allowed me to feel safe to be vulnerable, I then had to be vulnerable in it. It's an action. So I learned that those things very much so are actions. They're not things that you acquire. They're not things you're entitled to. Courage, vulnerability are a couple that come to mind that you actually have to do as an action. I had to learn how to do that in a romantic sense.

Josh: What's a habit of vulnerability? Like, 'cause I guess that's the thing. It's like you can say I'm being vulnerable right now or like talking about it, but what's an actual habit do you think that you have that helps you be vulnerable?

Stacey: Now that I've learned?

Tommy: Like is me talking about quitting porn being vulnerable or I'm just—

Stacey: No, I don't think it is. And I think I thought that was for a period of time particularly as a broadcaster who pushed the buttons a bit. I had it, I was told constantly I'm quite a vulnerable person and I didn't know vulnerability until I fell in love with a person that I really, really felt safe with and that was amazing. But then it was like I have this really open, safe space to play in. I have to show, I have to walk in and you don't realise that that has to be an action, that has to be a step. You need to walk towards someone. He was a bit the same. We'd both live very independent lives, as you pointed out. We both kind of had parents that had, you know, family units had fallen apart quite early, and single mums at home. So we kind of, you know, you raise yourself, you become very independent. So to be able to showcase that to each other was hard work. And so I suppose what I do— meditate allows me to stay soft, because I think sometimes I can get into that real inner masculine, which is is great for me for work and other parts, but for my relationship, I have to work hard at making sure I come from a softer place, not just for him, but for myself to be able to access exactly what I deserve to receive from him, which is love and care and support in a way that really truly supports me, not in a way that tells me, email this person, do that, yeah, awesome job, babe. Like I need a hug, I need to make love, I need to connect. So meditation as a daily ritual helps me kind of make sure that I stay in that grounded rather than like I did when I was on radio, very high, high, high, high, high above the ground a bit. So I guess that's something that I, it sounds simple and we're really talking about it a lot, but it really does. I know my energy is a little bit different when I'm doing that regularly and I try and do it every day.

Josh: Is that high bit, is that the difference anxiety that comes out in being antagonistic or strong or like hard-headed, or like what's the actual— what is that energy that's being released through the meditation, do you think?

Stacey: Um, I think just stillness of reminding you who you actually are and not what your bravado is, because inside I'm pretty sensitive. Um, I'm a big girly girl, like, and I am very kind. And it's easy to get very swept up in the world and the show and the, you know, particularly also with what I do. And I like to talk and I like to present. I like to do all of those things. And I've got a bit of a mission with the things that I do. But last year I didn't have the energy to have that mission. I was forced to sit in, you know, lots of job changes, loss of a barb, you know, lots of times where I didn't have the energy. So I'd learned what it was like to start from that root, start from that real kind of, I guess, grounded space. And I found out I didn't want to leave it because when I showed myself to Ben and he was able to kind of— I was respectful of him, he cherished me, we really sang. So yeah, did that answer your question?

Tommy: So if someone was to try and be vulnerable, is it something that is— do you think And it's something that will shift internally and not be, which could be the action to get to that could be vocalising something. I think the quitting porn thing is like me doing that is probably me being more vulnerable to myself than talking about the thing and virtueing that I did that thing.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: And so, but how do you decide, like, what's that? I mean, with, with a partner, it's quite clear the vulnerable vulnerabilities are between you two, you are the person that's directly affected if you don't step forward into that vulnerability. But like, what's the— what do you think is something that someone could take and practise vulnerability?

Josh: Because is there a difference between honesty and vulnerability?

Tommy: I think so. You can be honest and not be sitting in a space because, you know, sometimes not being honest Or not being dishonest, but not saying anything is more vulnerable for you to protect someone else. You know what I mean? So I don't know if honesty, and I think again, going back to that, the kind of work that I did in the past, honesty, you know, that was very linked with vulnerability. You're very vulnerable. Look how honest you are. It was like, I feel pretty comfortable in that space. So I think the first step is knowing when you're a bit uncomfortable because vulnerability often doesn't come in a comfy place. You know, you've got to find that. Space that is pushing yourself where you don't feel comfy. And that's, I guess, what I would say would be a good gauge of where that is. And how do you access that? I do— I meditate. People walk because it kind of grounds you. I think anything that you find grounds you is going to, I suppose, start to allow you to get out of your head a bit and just kind of start to have the real conversation with yourself. Because a lot of people don't realise that your thoughts are not you. There's another gut feeling or there's another kind of the thing that backs you when your thoughts are not, or the thing that makes you kind of feel like you are in the right place, like having an absolute laughing attack with your mate or watching a movie, whatever it is, or watching Netflix. There's like a feeling of home that is you. Your thoughts are not you. So once you do anything that allows you to kind of get out of that headspace and sit a little bit more back into that person, then I feel like vulnerability is much easier to come through.

Tommy: Well, it's dropping the thoughts. I mean, I'm on to day 32, Sam Harris app, Waking Up, and it's this understanding of thoughts are happening within consciousness, but there is something back from those thoughts. And I think the identifying with your thoughts and sort of that being in your head is the is why the essence of meditation is so beneficial. It's like we're not here, we're not in this head, we're not behind the eyes. It spreads out and the thoughts are just a part of that consciousness, what we experience.

Stacey: They're what your brain's there to do to protect you essentially. But I mean, I created a Find Your Intuition worksheet. It's cheap as chips. You download it and it gives you the steps that I actually do. Might not work for you, I'm not sure. I had felt so passionate about this because I feel like people kind of looking for ways. But the other resource I would recommend is that isn't so much about meditation. If you're kind of unsure about what it all means and you're a person that needs to understand before you just dive in, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer is the greatest book, I think one of the greatest books I've ever read. It's just such a simple, interesting way to explain the difference between our thoughts and who we are. And it just sums it up. And if you're an overthinker, you're somebody that lives in your mind, read the book. It will change the way that you understand how we're built and better, hopefully better help you kind of move forward with that knowledge.

Tommy: I think it's in Mr. 97's job description to show the vulnerability essence of what you said vulnerability is, of him showing up each day. It's like, He has been someone who's pushed himself, hasn't felt comfortable. But even before you like look at him stepping back, it's like he rocks in. So the action of coming here is his version of vulnerability, I think.

Stacey: Is that true? That's true.

Mason: Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, I'm pretty uncomfortable. I mean, like, yeah, the guys push me to do stuff that I'm a bit uncomfortable doing, but it's good.

Stacey: Just so it— can you explain what it feels like? So it's kind of like this 'Cause that's the thing, when I say vulnerability should be in discomfort, it's not the same feeling as discomfort when you got uncomfortable shoes on, which does feel good for you, right?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you instinctively know that it's really good for you and that you're pushing your boundaries, but it's like, yeah, you just, I mean, you've got an elevated heart rate and you're just like a bit stressed and got a bit of anxiety.

Stacey: But you know that there's something good.

Tommy: I love that. He went on a date for the first time and the week that it was happening, he said, this week my heart rate's been above 100 every second. The whole week.

Josh: And he's a fit guy.

Tommy: And he's fit.

Stacey: How do you know that? You got a Fitbit or something on?

Mason: No, I was just routinely checking.

Tommy: Oh, he's actually manually checking.

Josh: You're taking your own pulse.

Mason: Sheesh.

Tommy: I thought we could finish with a, because you've got single Pringle and I thought we've got a single Pringle in the audience, in the audience, there's one guy sitting in the audience. I like to pretend we have an audience.

Stacey: Let him do what he wants.

Tommy: He's a young bloke, he's in the dating scene, first date, 19. What do you think?

Stacey: Girl, guys, girl?

Mason: Girl.

Stacey: Yeah, what do I think? What should he, what's the question?

Tommy: Well, ask him one because you're a love coach.

Stacey: Okay, so you went to, well, it depends if people want to be love coaches.

Tommy: Oh, well, definitely.

Stacey: So you went on a date and so how'd you feel?

Josh: He's been on two. He's been—

Stacey: yeah, I've been on two dates with the same person.

Mason: No, different people. Okay, and you're dating because, uh, well, we did get thrown into it by Tommy and Josh, but I think it's— it was, it was something that I probably never— I'd never experienced before. And so yeah, just having that under my belt and being able to interact with people or interact with girls and know, yeah, I guess know how to talk to them and just be honest with them was something that I needed to learn.

Stacey: It's so interesting 'cause I think everybody thinks that dating is because you're looking for someone. And whilst I think there's a lot of people that do hope to be with someone at some stage of their life, I think one of the most important things, particularly at your age, can't believe I'm old enough to say that, is that you don't have to date to be in a relationship. That I find some of the best dates I've been on have allowed me to go home and work out what my values are, what I need, who I am from them. And I think that's something that's really missed, is that we should be allowed to do dating and exploit it and manipulate those apps and do whatever we want that works for where we're at at that point. And I really think A lot of guys maybe naturally do that. Some guys do. I think girls really struggle 'cause they kind of think, oh my God, I need to be so upfront. I don't really, you know, and also I think chicks really struggle with saying, I don't wanna be with anyone right now. It's like that means a lot more if you're a woman. But I think that it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to continue dating to get to know a bit of a picture or a bit of a, and I hate, I always choose values over type. So try to not think of a type, try to think of values. So do you like kind? Do you like funny? Think of values that you are that you could then want match. So if you're a kind person, you wouldn't want someone to not be kind and start from there. So then you start to have a bit of a shape of what you might be looking for one day and don't take them seriously where they have to then end up in something. Use it for your own resource and have fun, I guess, is the important thing.

Tommy: That's amazing.

Josh: I don't normally let Tommy—

Stacey: So good.

Josh: I love the board.

Stacey: I just pulled that out of my ass.

Tommy: No, but the self-development that comes from it, it's what, like, I mean, Josh just fast-tracked it and found the first one.

Josh: Yeah, boom, nice and easy.

Stacey: And you need it out, you need to just pull the band-aid off, don't you?

Tommy: Yeah, everyone's different, but yeah, definitely development.

Mason: Yeah, for sure.

Tommy: In self, from dating. So you're on the right track, mate.

Stacey: I reckon. What a catch. Let me know when you're thinking, because I got plenty of single ladies that are following my stuff.

Tommy: The problem is he's got a real tight— no, I'm joking.

Stacey: Single Pringles built on— and they have workshops and stuff online. There's an Instagram account to kind of be more focused on self-help than on meeting someone. So essentially, if you work on yourself and get to know yourself, then in turn, that might take you to meet someone, but that's kind of not the intention. But I felt like Underlyingly, it was a little bit for me, but that was kind of not the focus, and that's not the focus of the stuff that I do.

Josh: How do you reconcile changing in your life? Like when you come out the other side with a new learning, how does that affect how you interact with people?

Stacey: Oh, I resist the shit out of it. I've got to be honest. Like, you know, I talk about all this stuff and I get there, but I've resisted for a long time. I've always struggled with change. I'm working really hard on it and it's nice being married, I gotta say, 'cause you've got a bit of a cheerleader with you and we're learning about each other and what we need through that. So that's been really nice. But yeah, I resist it first and then I go through a bit of a process where I have to do a big letting go and I very much over the past 12 months have had to practise surrendering. So I think there's a saying, if you're feeling the weight on your shoulders, you haven't surrendered enough. Like you shouldn't really be carrying around stuff that you can't control. So if you are overthinking it or you are carrying it on your shoulders, surrender some more, surrender some more. You have to keep surrendering until it gets to a point where you truly accept the reality of most things in our life, and that is that we do not get to control the timing and a lot of the time the outcome.

Josh: How do you deal with, uh, judgment? So the idea that in your mind that something that you've done or a move that you've made would make people think a certain way, do you feel a responsibility to explain yourself, or is that part of that weight that you need to let go?

Stacey: It's the letting go. And I think when you do so much self-work, I don't know if it's the self-work or it's actually just who I am, but I've never really, I have my moments and over the past 12 months they've definitely irked up. I've done a lot of big change in my direction. So they have crept up, but very rarely am I that worried about what other people think. I've always had that on my side.

Tommy: I can back that up.

Stacey: Yeah, I just don't— it's not that I don't care. I have people that I care about, that I trust, that I get to know. Like, I would care about what both of your opinions are about some things, particular things, and there's other things I probably wouldn't. Like, I get to know who that person is, and I get to say, okay, I respect you in here, I agree with you here, and I would like your opinion on that. But then there's some stuff that I don't. We're not all experts on everyone else's life.

Josh: If we feel like we've done something internally wrong, do you feel that it needs to be— because I guess that's what I'm trying to wonder. If we actually reconcile and we've made a change and we're like, actually, this thing that I've done here I don't agree with, or I've said this thing that I'm actually not really aligned with now, do you think— where is, where is the room to say, hey, I'm actually wrong? Like I'm judging myself on this thing that I did.

Stacey: Yeah.

Josh: And so there's no wonder that you're going to be judging, um, judging me as well.

Stacey: I think I choose really carefully depending on my relationship. So it's like I, I make sure that the people that I am showing up to and apologising or owning my stuff are worth it. And I think, you know, we really need to make sure that the relationships we have in our lives life are the ones that you can be that person to. And if you don't have that relationship, I also don't necessarily think that everybody deserves that level of vulnerability too. So I don't think you need to walk around being vulnerable to everybody all the time. That's a precious, that's precious cargo. You need to put that in the hands of safety. And if you don't feel like they're being vulnerable back or they're being worthy back for you to showcase that part of yourself, then I don't know if you necessarily have to do it all the time. So it's trying to make sure that those relationships that you have are ones worthy of that kind of behaviour and that kind of showing yourself.

Tommy: And then there's the, I mean, it's such a tricky one because the noise that we hear externally from our actions, I mean, you can look at internally and go, is this sitting well within my values? Cause then it'll probably feel good if it is. And if it's out, you know, you'll probably get a sense if people are reacting. But sometimes if it's sitting in your values and other people are projecting theirs. It's like when the delusion sets in.

Stacey: But it's up to them to tell that to you, and it's up to you to raise it with them even if it might not worry them. Because if we all go in with our own thermometer, we all kind of cheque in with ourselves, then you can just kind of trust that they're gonna own their crap, you're gonna own your crap, and life goes along a little bit easier. So I might say to a mate, I'm so sorry, "This isn't this," and they might say, "Oh, shit, I didn't even think about it." But that was my radar, and I wanted to make sure they knew I was sorry, not to make me feel better, but to be accountable to myself. If that same friend was accountable to themselves, then I can trust that they're always going to show up the best way they can, and if not, they're going to own their shit back. That's why it's, I think, super important to look at the people in your life and make sure that they're matching that with you. And that's why I think sometimes, particularly friendships, it can feel a bit uneven. And then you're left just kind of analysing it all the time.

Josh: What about audience? What's the responsibility with having an audience? And when those things change, say with the change with Thinker Girls, how much did you feel that you had a responsibility to the audience to communicate and to be honest about Hey, we're deciding to go our separate ways?

Stacey: Well, I think we were pretty honest pretty quickly after we made that final decision. But at the same time, I can only speak on my behalf, but I don't really feel like I owe that much to people that I'd given my life and my learnings to for 6 or 7 years. I love and respect them and I'm incredibly grateful for the support that I've had. And the real diehards that really backed us when no one did, you know, there's love there. But at the same time, I did a good job there and I'm very confident in that. And I did probably overextend myself for a lot of situations. I'm on DMs counselling people daily, you know what I mean? So there was a few times where people would message me quite abruptly and rudely and say, I have a right to know, why aren't you guys doing the show? And I'm like, you don't have a right to know. I do enough here. And so kind of having, knowing your offering and when you overoffer or you give a lot, no one had to pay anything for those shows. And you pay for Netflix, you pay for other things. I kind of was also like, we'll do our best, but I know also what we've given and what I've given.

Tommy: It's hard to create something without having that sort of buy-in. Like, what we're creating is, you know, we want essentially want people to have buy-in on our lives and what we're doing and our, you know, our vision. And I guess that's where, as a listener, I would feel like, not that it's a right, but you kind of feel like, ah, I've given you what I, you know, I've given you my time.

Stacey: But it's always an exchange.

Tommy: Yeah.

Stacey: It's always got to be an exchange. There's two, there's people. So there might be a lot of those people, there might be less of of me and us, but it's an exchange and I feel like we've had a pretty good one. So I don't think you need to overexert yourself when you feel like they've given you something, you've given them something back, then it kind of works out in the wash.

Tommy: I think the peace you've got with it is much more beneficial for moving forward and understanding that you gave it your best.

Josh: Yeah, 'cause I guess, 'cause Tommy brings up a lot, I make a lot of promises on the show.

Stacey: All right, yeah.

Josh: And he gets slightly upset that like—

Tommy: I think it's a value set for me is why it really does annoy me.

Josh: But my thing is I'm like—

Stacey: But that's a value thing for you.

Tommy: Yeah, but I think—

Josh: and so my thing is like, I keep my promises, but when it's content promises, like sometimes there's varying levels of a promise, right? And so I think that it is interesting where I think that that would be the moving, like, you know, in 10 years' time when the daily talk show decides to finish up or whenever it is, that those promises I could imagine weighing on you, Tommy, in a big way where it's like, how do we, this doesn't seem like there's a clean way.

Stacey: I used to be like that when we were on Kiss a bit. Like I used to be like, we said we were gonna do this break today. Like we have to do it today. Like I was a little bit full on with that. And then it kind of dawned on me that it was like, no one gives a shit. No one gives it, no one remembers.

Josh: People just forget.

Stacey: Well, I think again, it was my stuff. I wanted to do that. It wasn't, and I was putting it that it was for the audience, but it was for myself. And I think that's the same deal. If you want to do it for yourself, then great, but be realistic and honest about what it actually is about.

Tommy: It's hard to go between. I mean, that's the conversation, Josh. What's content? What is real life? Yeah. And so if you were, if there's a true distinction in your mind between which there isn't life and that's the friction that you and I always have is because which is hard it's like when are you because you do content in life yeah and it frustrates everyone you do life and I think it's content so you make me confused yeah my mum will still message me saying oh have a nice weekend I'm like that's 3 weeks ago mum you know it's confusing especially for mums well I know I think that yeah the the content thing have you you are a content mind, Stacey.

Josh: I think that's fair to say that's something you're always thinking about. Have you worked out what isn't for content? Have you had to make a clear distinction?

Stacey: I just put myself first.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: So I always put myself first. If there's, you know, I remember there was a few times where I would watch different shows or radio shows in particular where the buzzword was show yourself, you know, be yourself. And then you'd see people crying about how they were depressed in this, and you could just see in their energy they weren't ready to share, you know. So I think it's actually our service as anyone that has a microphone to make sure that you're checking in with yourself first because I don't think it actually helps anyone. No one gets entertainment, no one gets help from it if you're coming from a bit of a, I haven't really followed that through and dealt with it myself. So not only for myself, but I think also for my audience, it's really important that, you know, and I've watched this with trying for a baby and really sharing that on my Instagram. I've watched that a bit 'cause it's very much, I wanna tell the storey of the in the middle. I haven't got a lot of information information around the before. It's all before or after. You don't get many things of people trying because there's a big elephant in the room that's like, it might not work. So people don't want to put content out. On the flip side of that, I wish I had that. So I have tried to share, but that's been the closest line I've had where I've had to a few times. I filmed all vlogs ready to kind of put on a YouTube channel for my first, my pregnancy last year. They haven't gone up. And I know I wanna help people, but I gotta watch that for myself first. So that's where I kind of draw the line, but my content is my life. So the only way I can really, I guess, manage that is making sure that I've got my own back first. I've got my people that love me first. I cheque in with my husband, obviously, with everything. A lot of our fertility storey is his story. So those things, and then if you comfy and it's right and it feels good, then you share. It might not always feel great, but as long as you're kind of coming from a healthy-ish place with it, I think is how I manage that.

Tommy: Check-in, self-check-in, love it.

Stacey: It all comes back to that really.

Josh: Well, next time you're in Melbourne, obviously the first stop is always the Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: That's actually why you come here.

Stacey: Flew.

Tommy: Yeah, flew down.

Josh: Jetstar.

Stacey: I'm sniffing Melbourne back as my hometown.

Tommy: Really? What does Benny think?

Stacey: I don't know. It's a big conversation, isn't it? Isn't it?

Josh: But it's, um, let's have it here.

Tommy: I think you'd fit in well.

Stacey: Yeah, he's a Melbony dude.

Tommy: He's got a Melbourne vibe.

Stacey: We'll see, we'll see. As long, you know, hopefully you're married for a while.

Tommy: It's an easy city to live.

Stacey: You've got an option for, you know, in the future.

Tommy: Melbourne is so easy to live, like, it's freezing, but it's 29 today, so beautiful today.

Stacey: So which is why I'm walking around with my weird rose-colored glasses on, which I'll put on to finish off.

Josh: We've done a good job of keeping keeping the room cool because I thought it was cold out. So that's perfect. Yeah. Uh, the Stacy June Show, if people want to, um, subscribe, it's a new channel from The Thinker Girls, so you've got to actively go. Yes, subscribe.

Stacey: Yeah, because that's fucking—

Josh: it's hard work. Literally, I was, I was watching a video the other day of a podcaster talking about it, starting a new channel, like having people to subscribe. Yeah, it's like starting from the beginning.

Stacey: It is a little bit, and I think it's really important for listeners to know that a subscribe does a lot more than a listen for a lot of us. So I think the charts are all built on subscription a lot of the time. So as much as you might like a show from here and there, if there is a show that you're loving like this one, or you hear the Stacey June Show, you listen to one and you like it, please subscribe because it does help us.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Well done. I'm actually so guilty of not subscribing.

Stacey: Yeah, a lot of people are though.

Tommy: I'm just dumb, I just search and get it.

Stacey: I don't think people know. I know that it actually really helps. It helps the podcaster if you back their show as opposed to just giving them— and the listens is great and we're appreciative of that, but we're all trying to make a bit of a mark. So that does help if you have a show that you love.

Tommy: Subscribe, please.

Josh: Yeah, thanks for coming on the show, Stacey June. It's The Daily Talk Show. Send us your emails, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. We've had so many guests on, haven't we?

Stacey: Thanks for the Mohawk thing.

Tommy: Yeah, no worries.

Josh: We've had like, but the plan isn't to have a guest every single day.

Tommy: No, you're right.

Josh: It just so happens that we've had I think this week.

Stacey: Busy guys.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, we're pretty busy, but we will be having probably 2 or 3 shows a week that's just Tommy and I as well because social anxiety. No, social anxiety. It's draining. It is.

Stacey: When people always feel like everyone has to come in the studio and then after a while it's like, can they do it on the— on the phone?

Josh: It's a daily talk show, everyone. We'll catch you Monday, guys.

Tommy: Bye.