#259 – Craig Harper On Psyllium Husk & Human Stuff/
- January 11, 2019
The Daily Talk Show — Friday January 11 (Ep 259) – Josh Janssen & Tommy Jackett
Our mate Craig Harper joins us on today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show.
How whiteboard lessons came about
Craig’s focus on the human stuff
When Josh bought a few thousand bucks worth of books
Hobbies and side hustles
The love for Adam Sandler’s latest Netflix comedy show
Asking “What’s my life telling me?”
Food issues and unhealthy habits
Craig’s take on New Years Resolutions
Social media’s impact on Craig’s life
Honouring the gratitude you have
Craig’s Podcast, The You Project: https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/the-you-project/id1342430567?mt=2
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Wait a minute, cross face.
worth recording with Josh Janssen and Tommy jacket.
It's a daily Talk Show Episode 259
are feeling feeling feeling pretty comfortable.
Yeah, we're in Craig hoppers then then
this isn't this engine is it? Craig's my
creative space this is the engine room me.com this is where it all happens if
you if you follow Craig This is where the whiteboard that he writes on in photos and posts is this is where it's we're looking at right now.
This is it. This is the creative space from which I give birth to things
is a quote up on the board. Have you posted that yet? A while ago?
Can you write it for a fucking up is inevitable but how you respond is optional.
Which is true part of the part of the human process is not doing dumb shit and good shit and figuring out you know, how we react and respond and navigate things after that.
whiteboard lessons when how to actually become a thing. Do you remember the first time that someone said hey, you could you could make it something
that's funny, you know, like you and I, you guys and I and a lot of people who listen to this I guess part of what we do in the context of our job or our business or whatever it is we sell offer or want to give to the world is creating connection with people, building an audience, getting people's attention, so to speak, has Gary these always or day tried attention. And
I wish his hand is manly is that
a lot more weaselly than he's a little bit. He's very. He's very fat and very busy.
Anyway, I remember one day, I had written something on my whiteboard for someone that I was coaching, it was just a single idea or concept or lawn, I can't remember what it was. And then they went home and they sent me a message and said are Could you just take a screenshot of Could you take a picture of that message that, that idea or that lawn or whatever, and send it to me, and I sent it to them. And then I thought I might just put that on Facebook. And it was a kind of remember what it was. But it was an idea or a concept that I've shared many times through the old fashioned keyboard. And so I posted it. And it literally got about five times as much feedback and comments and likes and attention as the exact same thing that I'd written in some shape or form many times before. And I thought okay, so I thought I might do another one. I'll do another one tomorrow, write something else and take a picture of it. So I wrote an idea or a concept or a bit of advice or a strategy or a construct on the board and took a photo of it and posted that net got lots of traction as well. And I remember early days I wrote something like I think I started doing whiteboard posts in 2016 in January and write something like it's nice to have ABS or it's great to manage. It's great to be in shape but a fuck what with ABS is still a fuck with which is just a quirky little silly thing. Because the point being Yes, it is good to be physically fit and in shape. But that's not the totality of who we are and how we are. And that came out of me. My personal journey, of course, being an obsessive weird bodybuilder, and also working with lots of insecure, overthinking people who look for their identity and their sense of self through what they look like. It's nothing wrong with looking great. So good achievements, nothing wrong with being in shape. But when we get our entire sense of self and self worth and self esteem and value, from our identity, were probably one going to be pretty vulnerable and insecure because that stuff disappears. And to it's not a healthy paradigm for living life.
Aside from the person who invented whiteboards, you're probably the second most beneficial person, a person who's benefited most out of whiteboards. You built the audience Reddit, the whiteboard lessons, that's when I bullied you into getting an Instagram account. And then I said Craig, we need a buddy name any any camera with whiteboard lessons, as that stock has to pay the sidewalk. Listen. It's the actual nine your middle name is now whiteboard. Let's Yeah, well, people
don't know. My name's Craig. Let's just call me by W and No.
Yeah, it's, it's funny, because when you do a few things, like there are some people who only know me through whiteboard lessons, which is inserting other people who only know me through working in radio, or you're the guy from SDN, or some people who have only read my book, some people go, you're Craig, half of the fitness bloke, you know, and so I'm known through a few through through a few different kind of areas. But a lot of people just know me for that. And it's grown very organically and slowly. I think we're sitting on about 13,000 followers, but it's a very highly interactive audience. So there's a lot of feedback and a lot of a lot of participation for one of a better word. Do you
get influenced when people come up to you and say, Craig, I know you from this or that? Do you ever get into personal brand mode? where it's like, I don't want that to be the first way someone knows me? Do you ever want to control that?
that's a that's a really interesting question. Because as a as an educator and a coach, like where I started out, which is, you know, bumps and legs, and macros, and macros and fucking calories and carbs and stuff, which is I'm still passionate about fitness and health and wellness. But then you get to a point where you kind of almost get to the end of that road personally develop mentally, philosophically, and you go, so I want to know more about humans now, not just the biological spacesuit that they inhabit. And so sometimes when people go are you're the fitness guy, you're the exercise science guy. It almost bothers me, but maybe that's my ego. You know? I'm more than that. I used to be that now this guy, but it's all it opens a door anyway. And I go Yeah, that's, that's my background. I work in the fitness industry anymore. And, and then I often go, what do you do now and I'll just talk to them about whatever, you know that the corporate stuff that I do, or the kind of coaching and the human stuff that I do beyond the purely just physical stone,
Tommy and I were watching Austin Klay on he's got a new book coming out, he wrote steal like an artist, and he's what to call a steal like an artist is the book. I had a moment where I bought a little copies of it, long story, tried to create a bookshop.
I had a breakdown and spent two grand on books. This was a few years ago. Books. Well, what happened was, I was buying them retail,
was it? Yeah. worst idea ever. I bet you he heard Tim Ferriss saying give you should give books well, and so he bought a shitload.
So this one. Yeah, it would have been four years ago. And I was wanting to buy a book for a friend. I go into the bookshop, and I realized that none of the books that I like were actually in the bookshop, they always had to be like, Oh, yeah, we can order it and it will take two weeks. Yeah. And so I, I thought, fuck it. Why don't I get my favorite books? and Amazon, I got this email from Amazon saying American Express is doing a promotion where if you buy from Amazon, you get free shipping. I was like, free shipping. What about if I ordered, like 200 books would still be free? Because that's a fucking mess. Like a fright. Like, that's a huge amount of huh. That's a commercial quantity, really? So I didn't I was like, yeah, sure enough, it was free shipping. So I ordered. It was like 100 copies of steal like an artist 100 copies of show your work, which is another one of these books 50 copies of vagabonding, which was a travel book 50 copies of Stephen King's on writing. And then I bought, I think it was like 100 copies of human humans of New York. There's a few rights anyway, this is before I
feel for this.
So initially, it was four and a half grand. And then the great thing was it was fucking bought through a mix. So I had had 55 days interest free guys
to get a credit card and
whatnot. So I had the credit card already, which was why I got the free shipping. Anyway, I told Bray, I said like, this is what I can have the giddy feeling of a fuckin just bought something really dumb. But it's like, time you can confuse it for a good feeling like, I've just invested in my future, this is going to be big. And so I told right, that's a story. And so I told Brian shape flipped out like you spent how much on books? She said, No, that's right. I said I bought about this many books. He said 400.
Yeah. She said, is that nearly
$1,000 in books? And I was thinking to myself, Oh, fuck, that's four and a half thousand dollars. Anyway. So I went to work that morning. I told my manager at the time. I said, Do you think brace being unreasonable? Or if I've done something Tommy, she's like, No, I think I think it's probably a bit silly. And so my manager like during my one on one actually helped me go through. And she said, Oh, well through Amazon, you should be able to cancel some of them. So we cancelled those a few humans of New York, we cancelled out and have that. So yeah, so there was only about two and a half grands worth coming. But the thing is, they ended up Ah, they sent me these huge boxes of the box. And the first time around the box was so big that it got destroyed. like Amazon sent me a message where it was like, basically being destroyed in the post because it was and when it arrived, it was like I just got sent to my work where I was working at the time. It was ridiculous. It was actually a triggering point for reception sign when not taking anyone's deliveries on now. So anyway, my point is that Austin Klay on who has rights to like an artist, a New York Times bestselling author really like he does these things called news, newspaper blackouts, which you would really love which what he does is he gets a sharpie, he gets a newspaper article, yeah, blacks out all the words and just keeps individual words to make up a poem or a sentence, which is really great. Anyway, his new book, keep going. He's done his like a presentation at Bond University in the States. And one of the points that he talks about is, we don't have hobbies anymore. We just have side hassles. And Tommy and I could really relate to it. Because it seems like everything that we could be good at. Our next thing is all like, Fuck, how can we make money out of it? It's so true. It's like,
find something and you won't feel like you work a day in your life.
They find something you love. Yeah.
People have taken that. So literally, they go, I like this song. Good. I want to make money now doing this thing and nothing else. Yeah. Is there a bit of like,
expectation people have built you saying this?
Yeah, I think
that's actually a really interesting idea that we don't have hobbies anymore. because everything's got to become productive and financially viable. It's, it's kind of a little bit sad, isn't it? I guess, you know, if the original kind of thinking around if when your passion becomes your career, then you don't work and when be doing what you love actually
written on the whiteboard.
But then I completely get that and you guys get that too, because you're doing something that you're passionate about. And you both creatives, and you're both ideas, people and you both, you know, love creating your own kind of model for work, rather than putting on a suit sitting in a cubicle and answering somebody. So you've kind of done that, in a way. But I think that I also don't think that everybody who has a hobby can necessarily commercialize that and sometimes it's just okay being it's like, I love playing guitar. I've been playing since I was seven. I'm never making money from it because I'm shooting it. Right. And that's okay.
You probably could put on a concert man. I've seen you get 700 people to an auditorium. Why don't you just pull out that
and do a song? They're not coming from my guitar?
Yeah, you joined late.
Didn't mean for self help? Yeah, give him a call.
What if Adam Sandler can do a tribute to Chris Farley, which is getting millions of me saying that?
Yeah. And gronk watch the Netflix of watching. Right. Adam Sandler's Netflix special. I could not believe I was into it as much as I was.
Yes, he's done a few it's a Netflix films and they've just been it looks like the money grabs because they're done a little bit cheaper than say he's like, I used to love
Netflix special comedy special. Doing so it's not like
it's stand up, but it's not it's stand up. It's a show. It's music. It's an IT shot. It's a hodgepodge. The actual Dokdo is all the special is a kind of a montage of different events that he's doing celadon from this event in this city to that event in that city. And he's wearing different clothes to different audiences and different different rates and it kind of works and the thing is he is you know, like I watch a lot of stand up probably like I don't know if you today but I want to stand up it's a very walk out tell some funny stories be funny walk off, whereas this is more fresh. Oh, yeah. It's it's like there's a whole bunch of shit. And it's not him standing up there telling jokes. Yeah. But at the same time, it's, it's you know, and there will be some people who would hide it. But yeah, I really enjoyed it.
I think you'll be surprised if you don't think you'll like it be like Adam Sandler, which can be the vibe with him is like I like him. But he's movies have ever been that great. I was really fucking surprised. just kept me going. It was something about the songs going in between just talk talking and songs. Yeah, that just kept me what kept my eyes glued to the thing and the pace very quick changing at ease the weirdest dude who embraces his quirkiness like it's, it's fucking great.
Have you seen him interviewed? Like I've seen him on a couple of talk shows he looks incredibly uncut. Yes, Howard Stern. He's on that awkward looking at his feet shuffling he looks nervous. You will not think that this guy's a worldwide name.
And he's also he heads up. Like, I feel like Adam Sandler is one of those names where he's actually got a bunch of people around him that like character actors that all go with him on his films like, Hey, is this he's made the star.
He's got Happy Gilmore productions. Yeah, he's made so many like, he's probably made his best mates so much money, just like he's, it's cool. Like, you see, there's a whole bunch of these people online. Now. There's like, the kingpin of the main ship, and then they just sort of all gravitate around and just you use each other in the best possible way. And so yeah,
and isn't that good, though, isn't it? And when you can kind of merge social stuff, working with mates, exploring the stuff that you're passionate about paying some bills, developing, learning growing? Like, that's what I love about the stuff that I do. Because there's no, as a speaker, or as a coach, or someone who's you know, like, I just released an online audio program. I've never done that. I don't know anyone personally, who's done that. So of course, go and see how they did it. Right? So you figure stuff out as you go, and you figure out the actual recording stuff? And what content should I put in? And how should I present it? Should it be super formal and structured? Should they be, you know, seven questions per section? Should they be a fucking workbook? And then how do we market it? How do we sell it? Should it be three hours long should it be 20? Like, you're just figuring stuff out. And next time I do another one, it'll be slightly different. And we'll learn, you know, and when I do, like, just before Christmas, I did a brand new workshop at the convention center, which was a one day workshop. And it was a completely different format was like a great big classroom where everybody was sitting to to a table. So it's literally like school, but with 100 people, so we limited it to 100. And we filled the hundred quite quickly. And I did you know, may I never use fucking slides or PowerPoint or videos. So I did the whole day with slides, which was only 15 slides, but we put up a slide on talk about the idea that was presented up there. So there'd be a whiteboard post, with a message would talk about that message. And then off the back of that message, there'd be a couple of questions for them to answer. And I'd say, all right, get up, go meet someone new. And before they would have a chance to go on Fuck, I'm nervous, I don't do that. And before they had a chance to overthink, I'd kind of almost yell at them to hurry the fuck up that guy and meet someone. And within about 30 minutes of starting the day, the energy in the room was fucking magic. And everybody's meeting people, they're talking, everyone's there for the same reason. They want to learn, they want to change, they want to build resilience, they want more purpose, more meaning more clarity, I want a better life, I want a better body, I want a better marriage, I want to be happier, I want to be more fulfilled, as I want to stop wasting my time and talent. I don't want to be the over thinker. So everyone's there for something in that space. And then you just open the door for them to have great conversations to to come up with their own solutions. But there's no three steps plan on how to create that experience. So I'm always gone. Well, let me try this do that you go fact That was awesome. That really worked. Or I'll do something else I go, Well, that was terrible. So we're not doing that again. So it's even with because as a speaker or a coach or as someone who writes books, or as someone who develops programs, or there is no there is no set strategy, there is no blueprint that everyone follows In fact, everyone does it differently Miss if you explain that Adam Sandler thing to me, and I hadn't seen it, I would be not very interested. Yeah.
Job Oh, it's
it's not too dissimilar. What you're describing is, it sounds a lot like doing a stand up routine for a lot of people hundred percent, which is, you know, testing material. iterating just going up saying what works. You doing this 20 questions for humans book? Is there a universal question that you find because everyone's on a different path? Everyone's going through different shit? Is there a universal question that we can ask no matter what the situation that will give us an answer?
There's probably a bunch but one that springs to mind is what's my life telling me?
Yeah, old Russia was my wife telling me?
Oh, that's relevant for you too.
But But also, I guess a really obvious question is what's not working? And you can go well in relation to my health, what's not working in relation to my career, my bank balance my situation? My lifestyle? You know, what's not Oh, what am I results telling me? Yeah, what's my fitness? Or what's my health telling me? What's my body telling me? What's my bank balance telling me? So it's all around, I think, paying attention to what's going on around you, without overthinking it. And without self sabotaging and without self loathing, and this is one of the challenges is we we put our head in the sand. You know, when it comes to, like, how many people buy shit they don't need with money, they don't have flying everyone. 100 books? Yeah, a lot of books, a lot of books. How many people ate shit I don't need while already being in a body
No, no nastiness here. Okay. So, you know, let's and there's no judgment or opinion, there's just a fact, you know, so you might be overweight, you might go, I don't like being overweight, I'm heading towards morbidly obese, I'm not particularly healthy. I'm not particularly well, I would love to be fitter lane a lot of healthier run, I'm not talking about ego, or vanity, I'm just talking about function and health and wellness. But at the same time, I constantly CIT, right? So we are kind of, on one level wanting to do something, but on another level, sabotaging that very thing that we want. Because the moment and where we live is in the moment, in the moment, I can eat this shit and get instant gratification. Or I can spend that money and get instant gratification. Or I can tell that person to fuck off and feel it. Or I can blame that person. Because if I blame that person, then it can't be me. That's a cop. Because if it's my fault, I have to do something.
What's the mechanism? Then what can we use to go go beyond that? Like if it's so natural, an unconscious? If the eating the thing is just the what we have defaulted to or reacting a certain way? Is there? Is there even a question in that moment that we can ask or how can we be present in that moment to make a change? So you
answered the question in the question, and then you said that we are so unconscious, and the answer is to become conscious. Yeah. And this sounds bullshit in Canada, La La Marie bless. But it is really about consciousness and awareness, like so I just try to bring things back to me in the sense of these explanations, because then if I'm, if I'm describing myself and being self deprecating, then people can't get offended so much, but I know that when I was morbidly obese, when I was a kid, I know that when I got out of shape in my 20s, I owned a gym, I was working in gyms, and I let myself go and I went up to nearly 120 kilos, I was simultaneously telling people to do one thing, and personally doing another because I had a food issue. I knew I had a food issue, but I kept delaying and avoiding and diluting and procrastinating and wearing bigger baggy clothes and fucking faking it. And it wasn't until I got to the point where I went, Okay, you're a fucking fraud. You're a big fatty Craig, and you're, you're full of shit. And you're on disciplined, and you're lazy, and you're making bad choices, and you are fucking self sabotaging. Now, you can feel sorry for you self. And you can rationalize and justify and talk about genetics. And you can talk about how busy you are and how you factor back so you couldn't try and or you can just go that's all fucking bullshit. I can get up today and go and walk five kilometers and ate fruit salad for breakfast, not bacon and eggs and white bread and butter.
How about that, because the food issue thing is interesting, because I think where what Tommy has identified with me is I can eat poorly, but then I can not eat poorly. But with all I can change my habit, I can go from eating the sweet food, but then the replacement whilst it is moving me towards being lighter, losing weight, it's its own food issue, because I'm saying okay, well, I actually would prefer just not to not to have to worry about what to eat. So I'm just going to have what like one meal, and it would just be this type of thing. Like I basically under age, based on I find that fucking easier than the challenge of working out whether I should have blueberries so
badly, I'm going to remove food completely, which I see is the just as bad as what's making bad decisions there because it's like
it's another third. So you don't actually fix the issue. You're just bringing that energy into it into another one, which is like going from eating cyphy replaced every time I had chocolate with fucking protein bars, or if I was just eating one type of food. I mean, what is that? Is that going to fuck it? Like, what's the what's the answer? I don't know. It's complex.
Look, the thing about food. What's trickier about food than other irrational behaviors and unhealthy habits and addictions? Is that for you sample you don't, there's no requirement for you to gamble. There's no requirement for you to drink alcohol, there is a requirement for you to eat. You have to eat. Yeah, so all of us good or bad, for better or worse, consciously or not all of us have a relationship with food. So and also just like gambling, just like sex addiction, just like alcohol just like cocaine just like dope. Just like any substance or thing that we use. Food creates a biochemical response in the brain. And if you love fucking cheesecake, like I do the biochemical responses dopamine, just like with someone else, snorting coke, it's dopamine, right? So it's not the coke or the the cheese cake that we're addicted to. It's the bar chemical response. It's the feeling it's the physiological and emotional and euphoric state that we get in not so. So when people are very naive around food and addiction, and they go, I will just fucking toughen up and just, you know, just willpower. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. And I don't understand it. So, and there is no again, and this sounds evasive. But we have this I think we have this flawed collective mindset. And that is, there's a way to get in shape is a way to beat addiction. There's a way to make money. There's a way to run a business. No, there's fucking thousands, maybe millions. So the way that I eat is for the most part, I know shit. I don't think everyone should do that. But I have food issues. Yeah. And it doesn't matter how educated or intellectual or successful in inverted commas I might be. I'm still a human with human bullshit. And part of my human bullshit is once I open the fucking cheesecake door, that shit happens, right? And so I need to and people think oh, but you're so this, you know? It's, it's, it's like saying to an alcoholic Holic. Well, you've been sober for 20 years, you're smarter. You've got a business you've got a family. You've got kids, like one of my mates has been so before you've spoken with Nicole haven't Yeah, yeah. So and he's successful. He's got kids, he's got his own company. He drives a beautiful car, he's Ba ba ba ba ba is Corey shit together. I'm never saying to him might just have one beer because you've got your shit together now. And nobody would think about it because and it's the same with other people who have addictive tendencies around other things. And so you need to develop your own operating system. And, and for me, for the most part, you know, Tommy knows this like Arbel. After you guys go, I'll have breakfast and I'll have oats and I'm in this and see Liam husk and protein powder and almond milk. And it's pretty much the same amount of everything that I have every day. I enjoy it. And it's not like I hate it. I'm like, Fuck, I hate this, but it works. I enjoy it.
What's it? What's the ceiling?
what I say? Is it fiber? Its fiber? Who the fuck is that? It's like pad is
not it's not even thought it's really impacted. It's quite it's quite grainy and granular it's like it's just
Is it like a plan product?
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a plant product. So it's, it's a it's a it's almost like fucking chaff, you know,
we it makes the shit or something.
So cat, so the interest of Europe booze, so I've not drinking for 2019 it's pretty, really
20 I'm 20 days in, he's going to finish it up in 2020. You should.
But you know, like I hundred percent. If I'm looking at other people who isn't many more people, many more people, there's many people that are a lot worse with their habits around our call than I am and they're still what I don't classify them as alcoholics. For me, I see it as like, I may as well just cut it off and try something and give it a go. I know be a bit of person without it. And that's just for me. Something like Josh, he's cut off social media at the head for him. And he's personally us. Where is the it's not as easy to just cut off the food thing at the head. Like you said, because we're coming you got an aid right on point,
or you die. I think the other thing too is where I do say it being a problem is when it becomes unproductive of not being able to like I can I can be really look. The thing is that I use food as a almost like a medicine to medicate. And so my productivity when I'm not eating, that much goes down significantly because normally I'm self medicating or eating. And that gives me whether it's, you know, sugar or when it like, it makes me feel good. It's not emptying the willpower bucket, whereas at the moment, I'm fucking depleted. Because I'm like, I cannot there's only so many things I can you know, so much willpower I have and I'm using at the moment on not having fucking cheesecake. Here's a question.
How do you when you're a friend, or you're a person, you see a friend and you see the answers for them. But you know that it's not? It doesn't solve it by saying here the answers might. This is probably where you're missing. How How do you approach that? Because that's, I mean, that's, I say, Josh,
portable and given Christ talked about, like this fucking 1000 ways of doing it. Yeah, your answer isn't necessarily there. And so and so I
and what I've identified, and this is, you know, looking at you with fitness staff, it's looking at other people, it's I think it's what everyone does for their partner. But you know, that it's not okay to just go make a recognition. Now try this because they're not going to do it, they're going to tell you to get Fuck, what's the wider approach that when you do see something clearer, right from the outside, then the person does from the inside and someone who you love.
So one of the questions I get asked a lot at the end of workshops is often from ladies, I don't know why guys as well. But more ladies, they'll come up to me and I go, thanks, that was great. Whatever loved it fucking light bulb moments, blah, blah, blah. I wish my husband came. And then I go, how do I make him XYZ? happen? How do I make him? How do I make my husband do this? How do I make my husband See that? How do I make my husband realize this head on? Like my husband or my wife? change that? And the answer is you don't. So you can't change anyone and you can't make anyone do anything. All you can do is influenced people. And the funny thing is, like, let's say Amy had a bit of an issue right? And you went hymes are reckon you should x y Zed? She might go on a level Fuck off. Because you're you and she's her and you guys, but if I may be said something very similar, right time, right? Why she might go? That makes sense. hops.
Yeah. It's whenever you're super close. Like I feel like there's 400 bucks she's paying
you for the hour run.
In like relationships, I think that constantly happens. Where I think it's probably even going to happen with you and I being in business together is it's like it takes and we're so close that we can't sort of this too much shit other shit going on that we're sort of bringing middle. So
you have to be aware. So the the answer to your question, which I didn't really answer is on your part is awareness. And knowing whether or not that person actually wants to hear that. So I've written in a current member, I think it was, I think it was Stop fucking around. I wrote a chapter about my mom who smoked for a long time when she was younger. And when I kind of realized when I don't know how old I was when I realized how treacherous smoking was, that was it. I was like, the anti smoking fucking campaign of phila troll Valley, you know, and I was it, Mom, look at these pictures. Mom, you got to stop smoking mom. And I did that till I was about 30. Right? So like decades, and all that it did was piss my mom off. It didn't help she didn't want to hear. It didn't create connection, it created disconnection. And it didn't create enlightenment, it created resentment.
So how could you influence so you can't
see he's in her but
you've got a position. That's right. I mean, it's not your job. But all you can do is say, like, recently, one of my friends is going through some shit a dude, and I can't expand, but I will just say he's got something going on that I think he needs to deal with. And I thought, I don't really want to have this conversation, because I know he doesn't probably will always not waiting for me to. So I just said, we had lunch. And I said, Before we start, I want to say something, it's going to take two minutes. And then if you want to talk about it, we will if not, let's just fucking, you know, a chicken salad and sing Kumbaya, right? So I told him what I thought I needed to tell him and what I think if he paid attention to what I told him, and he did something about it could be very valuable and helpful to him. However, it's up to him and he knows to want to do it. And I said, you, you might hype me up to this or resent me. But I'm coming from a place of love. And that is because I care about you. I don't actually want to tell you this, but I think I've got I think I know what's going on. And I think I could help or I think I've got a thought an idea that could be valuable to you. And I told him and he sat there for about a minute and just looked at the table. And then he looked up at me and he had tears in his eyes. And he goes you've been exactly fucking rock. Yeah. And I said, cool. So I go, mate. I love you. I think you're great. But I think you fucking up with this one particular thing. You want no judgment? No anything. I'm just saying this because I want you to be okay. And I want this thing to be better on planet you. And you know, that just takes not on my part on his part courage to go Yeah, in it. And the thing is, you think about everything that we do in the space of like most of the books that you read on some level Josh, are a personal development. Yeah. And I guess you to Tommy, personal development growth? How do I learn? How do I evolve? How do I do life better my business better make money better build a brand better? It's all about personal and or professional development. And then really what all of that is about if we want to disseminate it is about self management. Yeah. How do I manage me? Because you think about this, if you can't manage your mind. If you can't manage your emotions, if you can't manage your body, your fucked Yeah, your life is fact. Your relationships of fact, your businesses fact your bank account is fucked. Your happiness is fucked. You know, you can't, if you are a train wreck, forget. You know, you think about someone All right, they're living in a mansion on Beach Road, looking at the fucking Bay, and they're driving their Ferrari and they got 50 million in the bank. So externally, they're killing it. They're really good at business, but mentally, personally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. They're a train wreck. Life is no good. And so it's this ongoing, I guess, jigsaw puzzle of making this picture that is complete, whereas Yeah, make money, build a brand, build a business be a good human, look after your body, have a have a have an awareness of your internal health, your spiritual, mental, emotional health, whatever that means for you. Maybe it just means being in decent human may be it means turning down the anxiety and the overthinking. Maybe it means you know, serving others not just serving yourself. Maybe it means having a purpose bigger than you and your ego. I don't know. Like for me, I as I've said, I think maybe even on this podcast, I tried selfishness for a long time. It didn't fucking work. Yeah, it doesn't make me a good person. I don't like me when I'm selfish. I don't like how I am around others. Now, that doesn't mean I've got to be the Dalai Lama. But what it means is, when I am working to help and impact and influence people, genuinely to do that, with no agenda, I'm not talking about workshops where I'm being paid, but just the countless opportunities that I am presented with you to help and listen and talk and coach and care for, for no commercial gain. And I embrace those things because I think that's part of what I'm meant to do. Then you become a better person in the middle of your life and your life becomes better around you. Was that too deep and philosophical?
It was good? No. Do you think working on it? Do you think there's people that use working on other people shit, as a way of avoiding their own shit?
Or maybe even maybe, but also maybe maybe even understanding their own shit? Yeah. And getting perspective on their own?
When I say like, psychologists are a little bit tweaked themselves?
I think so. And a lot of them are and I don't think they'd be offended by that. Because I've worked with lots of personal trainers who have got body image issues, and food issues. And I'm one yeah, so like, I think we've got to be less precious about calling on bullshit. So I could of course, I'm flawed. Yeah, of course. I've got body image issues. Of course, I'm insecure. Of course, I want approval. Of course, I want you to boys to like me, because I'm fucking human. Yeah, this is the human experience. When people go, I give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. That's a lie. Yeah, that's a total lie. Yeah, everyone can, everyone. And if you go, I don't care what anyone thinks about me. You're diluted or you're psychotic. Or you just lie. So now there's a difference between that and being totally paranoid and insecure. and wanting everyone to love you. That's a different thing. Yeah. But this is like, I just, I feel that especially men, we need to open the door on going you know what, I'm a bit flawed. I'm a bit fucked up. And I'm a bit scared sometimes. And that's all okay. Yeah, I don't need to be these fucking alpha male chest beating Neanderthal that fucking knows everything. Because one, that's a show. And that's bullshit. And too, it's not a good paradigm for life. Because it's just doesn't work.
It can be appealing. I think that I've like saying, like, I feel like I've got a lot of sort of feminine qualities. I talk about stuff a lot. I sometimes I say Tommy's ability to work through things at an external level, where he's not reflecting it. I respect respect that but I also think that Tommy is trying to come debt, like he's trying to pull off the mask. And I'm all I also see the benefits of the mask, because it's like being a passionate person. For instance, being a passionate person can be an awesome quality. A passionate person can also be the thing that leads to fuckin meltdowns and blow ups. And you know, being a pain in the ass to be with how do you take your best quality, your best attributes, and maneuver them so that they also don't fucking hold you by the neck and control your life.
So the difference between say, passion and focus. And on the other side obsession, yeah, is that passion and focus is in control. You have a level of control, obsession out of control. And so people go, it's like, I've had a bunch of people say to me, uh, you know, alcoholics and addicts, you know, I think I'm just going to become a fitness junkie. That's actually bad as well. You don't need to be a junkie, you don't need to be a junkie. You don't need to be an addict. Yeah. It's like people think I'm addicted because I tried every day. I'm definitely not. Yeah, I'm happy to go and do 20 minutes at the gym and fuck off. I'm happy to have a day off. Yeah. But, but it's, it's about having that, that healthy relationship with whatever that thing is. And I think when you have, look, we were talking about Gary Vee before when we were having a coffee. And I think we all respect him and like him. But and this is just from the outside looking in. One of my thoughts on it was that he is obsessed. And I think he probably say that. And I think sometimes and it and again, this is just an external
Yeah. Is that I don't know how much balance he has. Yeah, you know, and he says something sometimes, like, you know, family is everything. And that that afternoon, I look at that he's scheduling I think we'll have families everything. I don't know that your behavior and your lifestyle and your choices is a reflection of that because it families everything, you would probably spend more time with him and less work and work less. But I could be wrong. Maybe that's me just being judged. Yeah. So you know, I think with all of it, you know, with business with life, with family, with relationships with love with purpose. We got Well, what am I values? What am I Cole values, what are the things that mean the most to me in life. And then the challenge is to build a lifestyle and a situation in an environment and a career around those values. So I reckon I'm fortunate because I get to talk about my values and live my values and put them into practice, and share thoughts and ideas because my one of my values is helping people one of my values is exploring potential and, and talent. One of my values is, is serving people, you know, and so I get to do all of that, and at times get paid for it.
So it's, it's a nice fit. So what I'm hearing is turn your hobbies into your
I love Gary Vee. I think he's great, but and it's just and he probably would say the same about me in some way if he fucking knew who I was. is like a semi sometimes. Some things seem a little bit lopsided. Yeah, like when I you know, when, you know, it's like, I had somebody with a while ago, a year or so ago, dude approached me and go, essentially, are you interested in x y Zed? And I said, No. He goes, and and his premise was, well, I just want to help you grow your x y Zed. I'm like, No, you don't. ago you want to sell me shit. Because you work on commission. Yeah. Okay, that's the truth. And he looked up, go, let's go you gone down the wrong road with the wrong person. When you when you who don't really know me, tell me that you're only about helping me. Cool. Help me and do it for nothing
to recognize His truth the way that he spun it. Well, that in his mind,
that's Yeah. And that's a sales pitch. And that's a tactic and I just want to help you. Are you interested in growing this or doing that? Yeah, um, I do you listen to people listen to this, like, do people buy that from you?
Many people have bought Isagenix.
It's when I get that. Hi, Craig, I want to talk to you about an opportunity. like fuck your opportunity, ah, sticky multi level marketing up your ass. And don't fucking pretend that you want to have a coffee with me when what you want to do is sell me shit. and manipulate and coerce and manage a situation. If you've got something to sell. That's cool. ring me and go. I'm involved in this multi level marketing thing. Yeah. And I would like to get you on board. Because if I get you on bored with your influence, that's real good for me. Yeah. Okay, I'm way more comfortable with that. Because you're being honest. Be honest. If you believe in your shit so much, why do you have to be fucking deceptive? And why do you have to stooge somebody into under a false pretense to get them to a place to then unpack this thing?
I mean, up the hierarchy of that those business chains is people preying on emotional people, Will someone buy and then willing to buy like, think about it's it's almost manipulation at its finest, from the top down for multi level marketing companies where they say, okay, who needs to? Are you looking to work less? earn more money? It's like they're the people that go for me, me me. And then they get that that are like counting trying to con other people. It's not even they don't say it is Connie is all the
same. It's all in the spice of two minute abs. It's all in the spice of thinking Grow Rich, it's all in that it's the
go. Will it be done? Do you think what you've been in the industry? What what be done all that shit, the multi level marketing?
version of that? Yeah, always be a version of that. Because Because the vast to assign that a lot of people want the reward without the work. Yeah, a lot of people want the destination without the journey. And you've heard me speak about it endlessly. And that is the dichotomy is that on the one hand, we want to be successful, but on the other, we don't want to do the shit that gets us there.
Because if that was the reality, that would make sense, if you if the, if the aim of the game is to do X, Y, and there is an easier way that I can I can understand the psychology behind it, I can see why it would seem inefficient if it was like this person's working their ass off, but there's actually this thing that you can take that's going to get you the results. I can I can say the
same if there is a more efficient way. I mean, that we're not talking about efficiency, though, with talking about fucking smoke and mirrors. Exactly. Talking about bullshit. Yeah, talking about? No, you don't have to do that you can do this and hardly work and make, you know, it doesn't. It doesn't work
with resolutions wearing what? It's January, January 11. What's the you've been on the earth a little bit longer than us? what's the what's the deal with resolutions? There's there's the one camp which is like fucking, they're a waste of time. I've tried new year's resolutions, they never work. And then it's the people who on you know, New Year's Eve, putting together their notebook full of resolutions? Where do you sort of sit?
So I think what matters is what happens over the long term. So I think and, you know, this is just educated, pretty educated guessing. But, you know, even that question, do rate news resolutions work? What does that mean? What does that mean, to you? Do you work? Do you do the work, but the new year's resolution is just an idea about creating some kind of change, and we go let's do it on that day. Like Put it this this way. If New Year's resolutions as a thing where a drug it, it would be banned. Because the vast majority of the time it doesn't do what we think it's going to do? Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't cure change, fix anything.
It's like a placebo, right? If it can trick us, we tell
ourselves and and if we if it tricks us into doing the thing, that sure. And also, the latest story I have is it's like, Okay, if I have I started off with five resolutions. Fucking three of them have sort of gone to shit. But my current story is I if every year I do five resolutions, and I fuck off three of them. Yeah, that's two resolutions every year that I'm incorporating.
And if you look, if if somebody starts something on us day, and that turns into long term change, then it's amazing. It's great. But But the reality is, we know that the day that someone starts be that a Monday or Friday or Tuesday or the date January one December 23. January 13. It's it's like we somehow think that it's about the date. Yeah. And clearly, we think it's about the date, because we all wait for the data. And you go, okay, the dates here. Today is the date. Yeah, that I am changing when you go? Well, it's really about your belief in your expectation in that it's a placebo.
Yeah, we're all in our own stories. And I was saying to Josh, and I said on the podcast, it's a great, if you were to write a movie, there's a moment in the movie where you get to draw a line in the sand. And there's a new beginning. So you almost get to race it. I think that's why it's so appealing to me, someone who loves stories is someone who likes to sort of conjure up this. Great, I'm doing this. And now this year, I'm going to be doing this. You know, what
I think is a much better idea. Yeah, it's just occurred to me what you're doing is rather than going, I'm going to change my life on January one. And, you know, so now I'm 33. And let's say I live to it. So the next 50 What is that? 47 years, the next 47 years, I'm going to behave differently. And this is me now forever. Yeah. Which is unlikely for most people. But I think to go, I'm going to not drink for one year, because there's a starting to stop. And you might get to the end of this year and go not this is my new normal. This my operating system now I don't need alcohol. Or you might go Yep, that was cool. Now I'm going to step back into it. And I'll have a beer awake or whatever I'm going to have. But I think the idea of working, even when I'm talking to people, generally about creating change, I don't talk about the forgiveness of it. Absolutely. I talk about let's work in four week blocks. And the reason we work in four week blocks sometimes is because it's long enough to get results but short enough to stay a little bit excited. Right? Where four weeks down 28 days down. Now I'm going to do some kind of assessment into my body composition, or I'm going to go for a run and see what my time is. Or I'm going to tick off how many books I've read or whatever the the KPI is, whatever the measurement the metric is, to get some sense of Wow, I've really made progress. Now, what's the next 28 days about? Well, the next 28 days, I'm going to have cut out this and that now I'm going to include that and remove that. And instead of running three kinds of I'm going to run full. So with the more methodical and structured and strategic and timeline and we are and the less emotional, the more likely we are to maintain that. Because when it's purely emotional, it's going to be temporary, because emotion is temporary. Motivation is an emotion, excitement is an emotion, depression is an emotion, sadness, happiness. And all of these things are part of the tap history of us, but they come and go. And when my ability to execute a behavior or do a thing consistently is dependent on motivation, I'm fact. But when it's dependent on some clearly defined structure, purpose process accountability system. And by the way, I'm training with Josh, five days a week, so I don't let him down as well, then I'm way more likely to keep doing what works. And then over time, incidentally, I turned that shit into a hardwired habit. And now this without even trying, this has become my new normal. So I need to get motivated now, because this is my on autopilot.
With next week, our one year of doing shows five days a week, for a full year. It's It's interesting, because we've written every emotion, we couldn't have relied on one emotion to keep us going for the year
to remember I was even thinking when Craig was just talking about when before we'd hit our hundredth episode, I remember in around the episode 40s we were talking about, you know what we might get to 100 episodes and that might be it for us. We were talking about that. And then you just build that momentum where it's like, Fuck, what we've done. We've done this many it's crazy not to like so we've we've just sort of incrementally increased it increasing increase it to a point where it's like, the buy in is so great. Now there's no fucking way we're missing a day. Like I just I feel like i've i've you know, crossed off too many days in a row. My OCD isn't very I don't have the OCD, even even though Well, maybe slide but I can't fucking break that chain. Yeah. What's the Craig just to finish up? What is the small change that you you've made in your life that you at the time seems insignificant, but that has actually completely changed the course of your life. Change your day to day change, Craig hapa as you are today,
I could I could tell you lots of things. But on a this is boring. This is boring. But it's true on a very practical it's not the husk is it is not.
Every every day,
thanks everyone has been right now, I would say my and Tommy's part Lee responsible for this. My willingness to embrace social media, where I just opened the door. And I'm not a you know, I'm not passionate about it. But I just realized what a valuable and not just social media but the internet in general. You know, it's like my like Tommy said, my my last Melbourne workshop we had 700 human beings there. I'm like, fuck even even I think and I'm, I've got a bit of a Rand and I'm pretty ambitious. And I go so amazing that 700 people go, here's my money, I'm coming to listen to you, you fuck up for three hours. And we've got a gig coming up in April, I think and we've got a 1200 and 50 seat room at the convention center. And I know that that is the fact that the internet and social media more specifically gives me a platform to share stuff like this your podcast, it's a platform, my podcast, the you project
it's a new interactive platform.
Yeah, you know and and I just think that
I think people my age who don't get it a fuck and living in the dark. Yeah. Because it's it's just the world's just gone from you know why micro to macro macro, where I can just access the greatest minds in the world I can listen to I can, I can drive to see my folks on the weekend and listen to four episodes of you fuckers maniacs on the way up and back and laugh and and it's easy, and it's good listening. And it's not complicated, but it's interesting. I can I can jump on my computer on my phone right now and watch a TED talk.
Can that be a new intro? It's not complicated. It's interesting. Yeah. Well,
I just think that for me, stepping into, you know, this age of, you know, everything we have available to us now through the internet and social media more specifically is fucking amazing. And I think people don't think young people of course, young people get it. But I think older people, like people who've done a blow No, I get it. But I'm blown away that people don't listen to podcasts. I go, you can listen to some of the best minds in the world. Like even when I did my audio program, I probably shouldn't say this. But I was assigned to Melissa. And it's 11 and a half hours of content.
So it's fat can people get can they still get it? Yeah, yeah. Please get?
Yes. It's just got to my website, which is Craig hapa.net. And it's, it's actually still on, it's still available for 97 bucks. That's 197. But it's 97 at the moment, but and it's as objective as I can be. And I'm I think you and your listeners probably know I'm not full of shit I don't like if I do something that's bad. I got fucked up. Yeah, I'm really proud of this, I really think is 30 different sections. It's we cover a fucking massive cross section of human stuff. And I really like it. But even doing that I finished and I went to Melissa, who runs my life? What if, like, why would people buy this because you can jump on the internet and listen to a million hours of conversations you can listen to Gary van der Chuck and Tony Robbins and Russell Brand and and Joe Rogan and and you know Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson and you can listen to all of these people share their thoughts and ideas. And sure enough, we launched it and it started selling
memorizing people go to university like this, there is something in the structure in the bringing it all together getting those dots because otherwise it can be a cluster fuck because you can watch Gary Vee saying one thing and then you can go and watch Tony Robbins say the complete opposite. So there is it's the same reason I guess people go to fucking church every Sunday. It's like there's a million different ways of showing up and church. I think it's like, on the daily talk show, you can say what you want. Yeah, the I think that that's that's part of it, too. It's you're providing curriculum or a structure? Yeah, an introduction into this information. And I think that there's a lot of power in that. Because sometimes on its own these isolated bits, it's very hard to actually connect you,
they're also paying for you to be thinking and internalizing, going into 11 hours of content. So there is like the bits that we're getting from other shit, you know, yeah, at events, little bits from a podcast. So then it's like, we're actually paying cry to have thought about,
yeah, 11 hours of
content. And I'm a cheese. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's interesting, because I don't think it changes. You're very successful in my eyes. There's other people who are well beyond you that would look down, you know? Yeah. I think we all experienced the same thing where we're like, Is this any good? Is this Yeah. Are they Why would anyone want this? And
I like tumbling. I like the fact that I'm still insecure. Because it means I don't ever be a guy. Yeah. And it means I'm not arrogant. Because I'm, I'm insecure. And I don't lie awake at night. But I do something. And even if, intellectually, I know, this is pretty good. I can I'm that objective. But emotionally, I'm like, maybe it should, though. Maybe, maybe I think that's good. But you know, and I think that's good. Because it can you hungry, and it keeps you. It keeps you kind of aware and grounded. And because I want to keep even though I'm 55. And even though I've spoken, spoken to thousands of audiences in all over the world have spoken. Right. And it's great. But I still go, Yeah, I got to be better than I am. I've got to be doesn't mean I'm discount, or I'm not content, it just means that I still want to learn and grow.
Well, just quickly, because we could go on forever. Getting complacent in saying or objectively looking at what your situation saying. You know, yes, we could be doing well, but we've done really well. And so what Josh, your pushback was, I think it's not, I think we can't be patting our backs, patting ourselves on the back for our accomplishments,
we actually made a move, I think forward, I think what I try and do is create situation I've worked at in my life, the way that I've moved forward with things is to its it can sometimes be like I think nine times out of 10 most days, and yet we're doing great and all that. So things really positive. But then definitely I like to show up some days and saying we're doing we're at 40% capacity of what we could be doing, and try and go the other way, which will then bring us up do you have? Do you have those moments?
Yeah, look, I think it's it's, um,
you can't live in that. pressure. And
it's almost a contradiction, because
like, people think if you are content, and I'm very content, but that means you have no ambition. Yeah, well, no, I disagree. I'm very content in the moment. Like I have a nice house. I have a nice life. I have a nice lifestyle. I have a nice career. I have nice friends. So in the moment, I'm content. Now that doesn't mean I don't want to do be create bigger and better.
Yeah. Right. So where does that come from? How do you create? Because I guess that's part of it's like, well, we've got an office we get to it. We've got clients coming in? And what's it like? So
is it what is that being grateful
for but you can't use that.
I think there's gratitude and awareness. It's like, I think you guys know I work with this guy called john who got blown up in an industrial accident. And you know, he was going to die and be a paraplegic quadriplegic and went through different you know, and I've been training him three days a week, he's the only person I trained for the last year. And every day I spend with him, I'm grateful. Right? And so there's that level of gratitude. Oh, I can walk Oh, I have a bed I have I can turn on a tap in this cold water. I have a lot switch with lot and heating and air conditioning. There's just you know, you have to, like when you contextualize you in, in contrast to the world, yeah, you got Well, there's 7.6 billion people on the planet. Not many of them. As a percentage live like me. So one, thank you. This is awesome. But then it's beyond that. And and it's like, Do I have a body that's healthy? Can I move is my wife healthy? Is my kid healthy? So there's, but we take a lot of things for granted. So I think and that's more spiritual sense of who we are, is to come back and God by the way, higher power, God, whatever, whoever, whatever we believe in. Thanks. I'm genuinely grateful. Because really, and we're getting very Phil, I'm getting very philosophical, but like, really? What matters more? How much money you make? Or your girl? Yeah, well, my girl, yeah, what matters the bottom line this year, or that fucking gorgeous kid of yours? Or my gorgeous kid? Cool. So it's understanding what role everything plays. And for me, building and brand and getting bums on seats, and talking to people and impacting lives. It's almost like an exciting hobby, that it's also a calling. Yeah, you know, but also away from that thing that I do. And that gift that I have, and that that goal that I have, is the the person that I am, you know, and I think it's trying to manage is trying to in the middle of whatever you doing, wherever you do it to be i a conscious being that you like, I think I like me
that the gratitude pace when you bring it up. I feel like it's external. So I think it's looking at these things that we haven't necessarily played a part in. I think that maybe that's part of it is, it's easier. I think gratitude maybe is easy to look at from, I'm in a privileged position that I didn't necessarily do anything to deserve this thing. And it's just an I'm so lucky that like, I haven't been, you know, had these hard knocks, or these things happen. Whereas, maybe what I try and do is say, yes, those I'm really grateful for those things. But many of those have happened, just because life worked out that way. And nothing to do with what I've actually done as a way of putting pressure on myself to like, so this is, Joe. I'm so grateful for all this sort of stuff. So I better fucking doing my bit. I better be showing up every day. I better be pushing the envelope to be able to honor that gratitude.
Yeah, I like that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah,
you've got the opportunity. Take it, you're taking it
and don't wait for the fucking catastrophe. Yeah, don't wait till you get hit by a car. Don't wait till someone gets cancer. Don't wait. Don't wait to be grateful. Be grateful now because there's much to be grateful for. If you're listening to this, the chances are, you're in the top 1% of the world in terms of wealth, because if you earn I think it's 36,000 us or more, you're in the top 1% of wealthy people on the planet,
if you've got something that can listen to a podcast and you can connect with people yeah, it's something to be grateful for. Definitely hapa thanks for being on the podcast again.
I feel like at the end of our episodes, we're just like just hitting the stride that you can take we can keep going back that's why let's one
day let's do a Joe Rogan style fucking three hour manifesto and we'll just solve all the problems in the world we get about seven eight coffees, which might be get a bite pen whatever.
maybe do some hash cookies, whatever they are, get a few edibles, whatever they are.
One thing I want to get but was telling. I was saying this to TJ earlier. We've got so many listeners who are now sending in emails. And so if you've listened to this conversation, and you want to send us an email Hi, the daily talk show.com I'll fold it,
Craig if it's full crew.
Yeah, well, we don't know. I think we'll fucking have harps on more of an excuse to get in a room again and have a have a chat but plays and send it through because we talked about a lot of fucking stuff and I feel like in these types of conversations inspire so many thoughts and even more questions. Hi
at the daily talk. show.com
pride. Thanks for God's voice like