A Broken Nose

Tommy: Wait a minute! Crossface, the Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Jensen and Tommy Jacklin.

Josh: It's the Daily Talk Show episode 256.

Tommy: It's Tuesday here in Melbourne.

Josh: It is 3:30 PM. Uh, we've just been, uh doing stuff with our roof.

Tommy: Well, we're trying to shield out the heat and the light. We're talking about, um, we will be soon making some changes to the show. Uh, Josh will no longer be with us.

Josh: Yeah, I'll be replaced with a mouse. Not an actual, uh, not like an animal mouse, but a computer mouse. Yeah, which has a little bit more personality.

Tommy: Josh is not going anywhere, but would you, you know how they say like you can, in the future could be a potential of taking your personality, just basically you, downloading you into sort of some computer system or put into some sort of doll.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Would you—

Josh: A doll? Oh, okay.

Tommy: So yeah, like maybe in the future it's a legit robot or they can download into a new person. Would you be into that? Like, is that something, or are you like, nah, it's messing with Mother Nature.

Josh: I don't think we need another Josh.

Tommy: Well, it's not that—

Josh: It would be.

Tommy: Well, there would be, it would just, you'd be dead and there'd be a new one. So it'd be like, say if you're—

Josh: No, I'd just be duplicated, wouldn't I?

Tommy: Well, if you're gonna die. So this is the thing, it's like to take your body, take Josh and put it into a new body because your shell has basically, it's old as fuck and it's useless. Are you into that?

Josh: Do you think? No, it sort of gives me a bit of a panic.

Tommy: Imagine when it actually happens, the panic that we'll feel, like seeing yourself or—

Josh: As a robot?

Tommy: It's you, everything you say, like it knows all of your nostalgic moments in life. It knows that moment in the shower when you were exploring thanks to Mrs. Who? Who was your teacher?

Josh: Can you understand how like those sentences together without hearing the story?

Tommy: I know, it's the best.

Josh: No, but what you said was, your younger self when you were experimenting in the shower, what was your teacher's name again?

Tommy: Hahaha. I was then gonna close the loop of that statement.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: What was her name?

Josh: I don't know, it was an older lady who, in sex ed had given us all this information.

Tommy: Yeah, and gave some— Josh— some instructions, but it wasn't instructions.

Josh: It wasn't instructions.

Tommy: Well, he extrapolated from the piece of information that was handed over, which was, "You male G-spot." Yeah, so, so we went caving.

Josh: Normally we talk about this near the end of the episode, so people, if they're just joining us—

Tommy: Look, it got a bit weird.

Josh: But to be clear, the way that you positioned it was that the teacher was involved.

Tommy: No, I was going to say, I was going to say the teacher's name and the And then I was gonna then reiterate sort of what, that she just gave you a piece of information.

Josh: You're making me, I feel hot. Do you see? Do I feel, I feel a bit sort of my forehead.

Tommy: Mate, imagine if that teacher.

Josh: She would be dead.

Tommy: Dead.

Josh: Oh, actually that's something else.

Tommy: We've accused people of being dead on this show many times.

Josh: Yeah, and they have been alive.

Tommy: We accused someone about being dead and then we looked and they were 60, but they've looked the same age forever. So we just thought, nah, they're definitely, Old as fuck and potentially dead.

Josh: You're saying changes to the show, you can't leave the show, people hanging.

Tommy: Well, we've just been sort of making some amendments to the office, trying to work out how we can do this and stream or even just record video version of this show, which is really— sounds like, oh, just do it. There's so many elements.

Josh: I reckon it's more reverb-y in this room today, do you think? Because we've moved all the furniture around. I don't know, like an echo I may be sensing.

Tommy: I don't know, I mean, you've got the headphones on so you can hear a lot more. But it's interesting sort of getting external people's opinions on these kind of things. So if you're listening and you have any thoughts on us recording it.

Josh: Yeah, the video.

Tommy: Yeah, video it.

Josh: Well, they don't have to watch the video, but we had Conspiracy Jimmy walk past.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, actually no, we got him to sit in, we asked him to come and sit on a couch so we could see what it would be like if we sat on a couch as us and a guest. Yeah. He wasn't a fan.

Tommy: Well, it's very close. The hard thing is like even looking at a talk show, right? You see like Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel, their body are facing the audience. So they're creating something that's outwardly facing to the camera and the audience, which is not normal. You don't catch up with a mate and sit unless you're on a hill looking out at fireworks and drinking beers. Maybe it feels like that, but then you don't have an audience. So it's all, it's very much weird. And the thing with a lot of podcasts or interviews where we're just looking at each other and the cameras are just looking at us looking at each other, you can't look at the camera. And so we wanna maybe invite you guys in as like the person that we are actually looking at, which I think feels a bit more personal for a show like ours.

Josh: We'll have to trial it. But yeah, so we were today, you were standing on a high desk with then a chair to be able to— basically we've got a, what's it called?

Tommy: A skylight.

Josh: Skylight that has been retrofitted.

Tommy: What's that mean? Retrospectively fitted. Retrofitted. What, just it's been, it wasn't here before and it got installed?

Josh: Yeah, I think that's a complicated word. I'm trying to, you know how I keep saying, have I made myself clear as the title of the book that I'm reading at the moment. It's, do I make myself clear? Which is a bit ironic.

Tommy: You now have made yourself clear.

Josh: Retrofit. And a component or accessory to something. Oh, sorry, add. Oh, adding. A component or accessory to something that did not have it when manufactured. So that was retrofitting.

Tommy: Yeah, retrofitted to our office. And it helps. There's a lot of natural light. It's lovely.

Josh: But we're trying to block it so we can control the light because it gets fucking hot in here.

Tommy: Yeah, and for the filming and we wanna make sure we can—

Josh: Yeah, control the light.

Tommy: Be in control.

Josh: Talking about the heat, we got an email from a listener, Jenny, who is from Siberia. And she was saying that it is currently -35 degrees Celsius in Siberia.

Tommy: I've watched those dangerous, or like most scary prisons on earth documentaries, like in Siberia. There's one I've watched that was in Siberia and it was this prison and it's like, Dude, fucking so cold. These poor bastards actually probably deserve it. They're probably all locked up for a good reason, are in prison. But that's— I mean, when I think of Siberia, I think of like just cold, like super, super— like where it's probably not where most people would travel to. And it's the place that you could probably go to where you can do the thing where you throw like water into the air and it freezes. Because you don't get that in many places in the world to do.

Josh: Like, should we just—

Tommy: should we go to Siberia?

Josh: We should.

Tommy: Jenny, can we come over to just throw some water up into the air to see if it freezes by the time it hits the ground?

Josh: I wonder if it's cold enough for that.

Tommy: Is it even a thing? Can you send us a video, Jenny, of you doing it?

Josh: Guess what time it is. So it's 3:35 PM here in Melbourne. Guess what time it is in Siberia.

Tommy: Oh, I reckon it's like, um, something like 1 AM.

Josh: No, no, you've got no idea.

Tommy: No, what is it?

Josh: 11:35 AM. Yeah, sure.

Tommy: I mean, not that I'd have any idea of my Siberian. Yeah, my Siberian clock's just slightly off, guys.

Josh: Slightly, you know.

Tommy: Next week I'll— it'll be recorrected.

Josh: Um, do you consider yourself a handyman?

Tommy: Um, I reckon if— I reckon if I'm next to you, yes. If I'm next to someone like Tom who owns the art gallery next door, I'm a piece of shit. He like— I look up to people who are handy men, handy women.

Josh: I don't think you're handy people. I don't think you're that handy.

Tommy: Definitely not that handy, but I'm handier than you. So in this moment, but I think I'm probably more confident with handy things. No, fuck no, mate.

Josh: Are you kidding me? No chance. No, I'm more confident that you can do it than you are. You weren't even— you were saying, no, we're not, we're not going to be able to cover up that, that, uh, skylight. And what have we done?

Tommy: No, no, no, not that we couldn't, just it was all about working out what we could do to cover it up.

Josh: But you were thinking we had to go and buy stuff. We didn't even have to leave the office.

Tommy: Yeah, we didn't have to leave the office because I bought something so long ago that I don't use anymore that we can now use. It's like a black backdrop for a film.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And I've used it a couple of times, but now it's It's perfect.

Josh: Yeah, it works well.

Tommy: Yeah, when I was young, I would— I was well into building shit as well. I started out building, you know, little castles with sticks, like, what are they called? Ice cream sticks? Ice cream. Oh yeah, so ice cream sticks. I'd build these forts, you know. Do you remember the drop door forts that you'd build in primary school? Did you get around that?

Josh: No, but I do remember in kindergarten Having getting the icy pole sticks. There's them. Yeah, and then what did you call them?

Tommy: Ice cream sticks.

Josh: Ice cream sticks, yeah. No, the ice cream sticks. Do you remember Dr. Goh, my first ever doctor? He would use a, Dr. Goh or Dr. Singh? I think it was Dr. Singh actually. You wouldn't know, it's my first doctor.

Tommy: Oh, like a legit, I thought it was some character.

Josh: No, no, no, as in when I was a kid.

Tommy: No, your first GP.

Josh: My first GP. Yeah, a general practitioner.

Tommy: Yeah, not gay partner. Gay partner, that was a joke when we were in primary school.

Josh: GP.

Tommy: Yeah, GP. What does that stand for? Gay partner?

Josh: No.

Tommy: What would—

Josh: what context would you use that in?

Tommy: I don't know, just dumb school kids thinking, what does GP stand for? Because they don't know what GP stands for.

Josh: So they were actually— someone would say GP. Um, no, they would use the ice cream sticks for your tongue, but they would use like the Magnum style ones that were actually big. Do you remember that? Yeah. But then I started going to another GP and he was using the standard ones. Anyway, my point is that I would use them, those sticks, and I would wrap a single sheet of masking tape from one side to the other and then do it around the other way. And me and my mates would pretend to smoke.

Tommy: Oh yeah.

Josh: Did you ever do that?

Tommy: Yeah, me and my mates would just go and buy ciggies, singles, when we were about grade 4 or 5.

Josh: Single, what do you mean buy singles?

Tommy: Completely illegal. Selling singles, that's illegal also. But singles, like one cigarette, like some places you can legit— actually you can't because it is illegal to do it in Australia, selling a single cigarette from a packet. They used to just sell them for a dollar. I remember we just went down. So while you were doing that with, uh, Icy Politics, I was actually— we used to do things called barkies, which were bark from a tree that was— look, it looked like a cigar. Just fucking light the end of that. So dumb. It's disgusting.

Josh: Kids do dumb shit.

Tommy: Kids do dumb shit, and I did a lot of dumb shit. But the one thing I did build which I was obsessed with doing was my own homemade pinball machine.

Josh: Fuck off.

Tommy: Yeah, so what you do, you get two nails, like nail them on an angle.

Josh: Really, really shit pinball machine. 100%. Okay.

Tommy: Definitely shit.

Josh: I just imagined like it had LED lights.

Tommy: Nah, nah, nah, it wasn't that handy. But we built like ramps. My dad built the good ramps. So in terms of being handy, I definitely know how to use a drill. Like, you know, know how to drill things. I installed all those shelves out the back by myself. Not the ones we built, but the ones, the ones on the actual wall.

Josh: How was I? So we We did a bunch of, uh, installed 4 shelves.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, these are, these are, you buy them, you're like, that's great. You see the display item, you're like, fuck, this will be easy. Then you get back and I just hadn't comprehended the— I know that we had to do it, but I hadn't comprehended needing to actually install them. And it took hours. It's just, it took hours just based on— I reckon someone fast might have cut off half an hour. But we— you still, you learn how to do the first one and you learn all the mistakes.

Josh: We spent so much time on the first one. We bent one of the metal bits.

Tommy: You bent one of the metal bits. Don't blame it on me.

Josh: It was a joint effort, I think.

Tommy: It was learning out how these— because it didn't have any screws, it was all just like clip-in shit. So it was annoying, but I don't like— that's, I mean, that's handy. I'm my— I don't go towards doing that shit. I'd rather actually use like sawing shit. But my brother is super handy. And the guy who built this wall in our office, we've got this beautiful pallet wall where I sourced all of these old pallets that—

Josh: Sourced, aka stole?

Tommy: Yeah, a lot of them are free. I asked a bunch of businesses.

Josh: Why does it say property of like—

Tommy: Lozcam, look up Lozcam. So look up Lozcam as the business. I went around and I videoed myself picking up these and I chucked them into the back of my old car. And they're just like what they'd find at the supermarket where they'd get like big boxes, big box orders that go on the forklift. It's basically those things. And they're all old hardwood timber and some like stained, some have like logos still on them. So we did that. And the dude who built, who actually, I broke all of them apart and then he, actually sawed them and made them, made them, made sense of it all and built the wall. But like, that's fucking, I love it. You gotta take your hat off to people that can do that shit. 'Cause we'd be fucked if we got lost in the bush.

Josh: I would like to be better at hiking. What is the, what are the areas in life that you don't feel comfortable in that you feel that you're a fish out of water?

Tommy: I mean, camping, like, The thing that we don't do, I used to watch a lot as a kid, but how often do you do it? Like actually—

Josh: Camping.

Tommy: Be efficient in fending for yourself outside of ordering Uber Eats from your phone, like going camping. So if we walked for a day, camped, had all our supplies, cooked food, I know we could do it, but that's a fish out of water. If you haven't done it, have you ever done it?

Josh: I haven't, no. I would like to do it. I think you were suggesting that Bree, Amy, you and I do it. Was that pre-Bodey?

Tommy: That was pre-Bodey because now we legit need 2 tents 'cause we need one for Amy and I and one for Bodey 'cause he won't sleep in our own tent.

Josh: He requires another tent.

Tommy: 100%, he's a little king.

Josh: Do you think like if you were, if you had to camp, You would really have two tents.

Tommy: Or, um, isn't that unsafe?

Josh: Someone could during the night just come and fucking steal your kid. Yeah, I guess that's the same as a room, but no, it's not the same as a room. It's the equivalent of saying that your kid lives away from home, don't you think?

Tommy: I mean, yeah, I don't want to take Bodhi camping, especially because Dad doesn't know how to camp properly. The thing I feel with camping and all these things you and outdoor activities, you need the right gear. And that's not using gear as an excuse, but otherwise you're in trouble. Like, if you and I— how about we should do this, dude? It's so outside of the comfort zone. Buy two swags. You're not— we're not buying double swag. You can get the fuck out of my swag. So buy individual swags. Swag is like a— an old— think about like, um, camping along the Billabong, you know, under the Billabong Billabong tree.

Josh: Why do you keep saying billy bong?

Tommy: Under the billabong tree.

Josh: No, why are you saying billy bong?

Tommy: Billabong tree. It's a type of Australian tree.

Josh: But there's a, you also have your billy, don't you?

Tommy: Yeah, that's why I was getting it.

Josh: Is that why you just got it?

Tommy: But so think of a Bogan's ute. And on the back, you may have seen this rolled up thing that looks like a mattress that's been rolled up. It could be camo looking. So basically they are a thin mattress. That you, it rolls out and it's almost like a little cocoon. So you can unzip it.

Josh: Is this the billabong?

Tommy: No, this is, hang on.

Josh: No.

Tommy: What I was trying to get at before you trolled what I said, 'cause I fucked it up, was think about like some guy sleeping under a tree next to a river in an old swag.

Josh: Swag, was that what you were saying? Yeah, it's a swag.

Tommy: So it's a swag. So it's a little, it's almost like a mini, It's like a cocoon for one person and it's got like fly net and it's sick.

Josh: And so you take your sleeping bag.

Tommy: Oh, we could go get $200. We can get a single, yeah, individual. So if we bought one of those, we had our gear and we go and go for a walk into the wilderness and we find a nice little spot. The good thing is about like Victoria or anywhere actually is going up to the Northern Territory and stuff, there's dingoes and shit, but we've got nothing other than snakes. I mean, that sounds— they're fucked. We just won't go middle of summer when the snakes are so rampant. You and I will go. We don't have to worry about bears and shit like you would in Siberia. Siberian tigers, heard they're a thing. But we don't have to worry about any of this shit. And we go out and just legit disconnect. No phones, nothing. And we go and stay far out, just quiet. It's nice. Like, I think I want to— maybe that's the guy I want to be. Is the person who actually goes out for adventures. Yeah, take some fishing rods.

Josh: But I feel like we need an extra person. Why? So that there is the person who knows, who can instil or bring their information and share it with us. Yeah, because otherwise it's just two fucking gronks.

Tommy: I would say I'm competent and capable in, um, making shit up. No. Building the campfire, setting up all of the sleeping situation, finding the right spot to do it, understanding—

Josh: Based on what?

Tommy: I mean, I've built fires and gone camping before.

Josh: Oh, so you have gone? I thought you'd never been camping before.

Tommy: Yeah, but I'm saying, yeah, in a very long time. Like, I haven't done it in a very long time, which means you can't say you're the guy just because you've been, you know, a dozen times. It doesn't mean you're a fucking camper.

Josh: It's like, what are some of the things that we wouldn't be able to camp on? Like, what are the considerations?

Tommy: You gotta think about, this is where you gotta think about, so water flow, if something happened.

Josh: That's what I was gonna say. I've never been camping. I'd say we gotta be careful about flooding.

Tommy: Yep, flooding.

Josh: What else?

Tommy: Trees, overhanging trees.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Could something fall and crush you? A friend of mine, his parents on their honeymoon.

Josh: Is this gonna be a fun story?

Tommy: They're fine, they're alive because my friend's alive. He wouldn't be alive if they weren't alive.

Josh: They went— wait, he was born—

Tommy: so that is— just listen to the story. They went camping for their honeymoon, tree came down onto their tent and almost fucked them up. And so my friend's here because they got through the honeymoon and now they're alive.

Josh: I'm so dumb.

Tommy: What did you think I was saying?

Josh: I was like, what? So the kid was in the tent with her?

Tommy: That's something I think about taking Bodhi. Like, yeah, I, I— the place where I last camped, I've camped there a couple of times. Huge eucalyptus trees, Australian native tree, and the windy as fuck, like windy blowing, like a branch could come down. Like we heard and one did come down and we're all camping there. Here's one thing you don't do if you go camping Jules Lund, take someone's deodorant can and throw it onto the fire.

Josh: Yeah, that would be— no, I remember, uh, school camp people throwing dumb shit into fires, that being a big thing.

Tommy: Dude, you would not have that nowadays.

Josh: It's too, too risky. Well, did you hear the storey of the gender reveal party that someone had in California? They— this was a couple of months back now, but they, um, basically had a small explosive go off to reveal, caused a fire worth $8 million.

Tommy: No.

Josh: Yep. But it's a cool storey for the kid. Imagine when the kid grows up, it's like, yeah, I'm the—

Tommy: who pays for that?

Josh: I don't know.

Tommy: So it's $8 million of damage.

Josh: Yeah, I don't know if insurance covers that sort of stupid thing.

Tommy: The one thing in a lot of the national parks, there's like complete fire bans. So it's like you go at the right time when it's like getting cooler and it's out of the fire bans. It's fire season ban, fire ban. It's just a period of time within Victoria or New South Wales, all over. But yeah, I like, I was looking at my mate's Insta storeys at the moment and he's like, last night he walked up with these Sherpas. I think it must be in like Guatemala or somewhere over in South America or Mexico, up in that sort of South American area. Walked up to this volcano and like, so you can get to the edge of this volcano, fucking high up. Yeah, an old-school volcano that's still sort of simmering. And he camped right next to the volcano. And he's—

Josh: yeah, could we do like some form of hike Could you and I do a hike and do some doco about it? We talked about the, what's in PNG?

Tommy: Oh, Kokoda.

Josh: Kokoda.

Tommy: Yeah. Hard one. I mean, there's been dudes who have done it with no legs, but you and I, we've got asthma.

Josh: Well, but—

Tommy: You can do it, but—

Josh: My mate Chris Nicholls, who was here this morning.

Tommy: He did it?

Josh: He's done it, yeah.

Tommy: Has he got asthma?

Josh: Don't know.

Tommy: 'Cause there's been a bunch of people have died from asthma 'cause of the elevation. But I reckon we could push through it.

Josh: But you haven't had, I mean, I don't, if someone asked me, do you have asthma? I would say no.

Tommy: All right, you're a liar.

Josh: Do you think it's one of those things? If you've had asthma as a kid, you've always got asthma?

Tommy: Well, that's what they used to say. You can outgrow it, but they say you never outgrow it. That's what I've read. It's never outgrown. You might just never get it. I mean, I only have it when I've got a chest cold or some exercise, I'm just, like if I blow out doing some cardio, it can sort of trigger my asthma. There's a bunch of stuff that can, but I don't know, it would be full on. It's a huge walk.

Josh: What sort of holidays did you go on when you were a kid?

Tommy: Yeah, we used to go to a place called Flinders, which is only like an hour and 15 minutes away. We'd get a beach house, but then we'd go to a place called Marlow, which is like, how would you get a beach house pre-Airbnb. Oh yeah, there's no phones to just log in with your app with the lockbox at the front door.

Josh: No phones, is that what they said?

Tommy: No phone, no phones back then.

Josh: It was, it was phones.

Tommy: No, no, yeah, mobile phones. There was no smartphones, no colour screen smartphones back when we were growing up, um, when we were kids going those holidays. But I remember clearly, we'd go into the town, so before we'd get there, before we get to the house, go in, we go to the real estate agent and would have to go into the real estate agent. Like, they'd sell houses, they'd rent houses, and they'd do rentals.

Josh: I wonder what that does to the real estate agent's business. Like Airbnb, I wonder if it's, I wonder if that was a huge, what would that be called? Like short stay accommodation or something?

Tommy: There is, there's still a bunch of sites. Stayz, S-T-A-Y-Z, stayz.com.au is a purely holiday home rental. So yeah, I guess some people are fully leveraging the Airbnb model for their beach house, but there is, you definitely got more of assurance getting going through the real estate agent.

Josh: So you would go—

Tommy: More assurance if you're the owner of the house renting. Okay, you know, you'd feel like, okay, so the real estate agent's got this.

Josh: Checks and balances, all that sort of thing.

Tommy: It's all done, you don't have some Dude saying that he's coming down for a family weekend and then has his bucks party. I did that. That's what we did.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Yeah, for my bucks party, we hired this house in Blairgowrie and I connected up like all of the people who were staying. It was like my, my wife, my soon-to-be wife then, and my mate's girlfriend, my other mate's girlfriend, and my mates. We put all of our email addresses so they got the itinerary You're so dodgy.

Josh: Well, because this is pre— because you and I, this is right when we started becoming friends, so I wasn't— I didn't go to your wedding, didn't go to your bucks party. What was your bucks party like?

Tommy: It was great.

Josh: What'd you do?

Tommy: Um, probably how many hours sleep? Maybe 6 hours sleep the whole weekend.

Josh: Oh, the whole week?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: What did you do?

Tommy: Barbecuing, um, both our brains and also the, uh How many people? There was, uh, the first night, um, was, was a bunch, was probably 15 of us. Second night, people fell off. My mate went so hard on Friday night and he'd paid for the whole weekend, so I just like, I paid for it and people just chucked in. Oh, money thing would be so annoying. It cost me a heap of shit, heap of money, but that's, that's the reality of these things. Someone has to front it up to make it happen. To then potentially get money back.

Josh: So were you organising your own bucks?

Tommy: No, I organised the accommodation.

Josh: What do they call it in the US?

Tommy: Stag parties in the UK, stag hens, bachelor party. Yeah, bachelorette and bachelor party. What do they call it in Siberia?

Josh: I wonder.

Tommy: Yeah, can you please, can you—

Josh: Jenny.

Tommy: Jenny, can you send us an audio recording of how they say it?

Josh: Poor Jenny, she sends one fucking email.

Tommy: Yeah, Jenny, you're our Siberian correspondent.

Josh: Yeah, that's what's happening. I like it.

Tommy: So we've got two things you need to send us. Does it and can you throw a glass of water into the air at -35 and will it freeze? And also, what is bucks or bachelorette, uh, bachelor, bachelor parties?

Josh: Maybe she's also a graphic designer and I was looking at her work. We need to get her to consult or help us design our new Daily Talk Show logo.

Tommy: God, that's timely. That's serendipitous.

Josh: It is.

Tommy: Um, so yeah, the bucks party, my mate went so hard the first last night and then was just vomiting and just— he was a mess.

Josh: Any fights?

Tommy: No fights. They're my best mates.

Josh: I had— so when I, um, when I used to play footy, yeah, I had a fight with my own team member.

Tommy: How old was the kid?

Josh: I would have been like 13. Okay.

Tommy: Why the fuck are you fighting with a guy named Neil Peake?

Josh: Was his name? Yeah. That's no good. Yeah. And so Neil, I don't know why, but did you make contact? Yeah, absolutely. Like, we were like, ended up on the ground punching each other.

Tommy: Ground and pound. Yeah, well, yeah, when someone's on top of you just pounding the shit out of your face, it's ground and pound.

Josh: Well, I was, I was quite a heavy kid, which is probably like, he was making some smart-ass comments. So I feel like as a heavier kid, I probably won.

Tommy: Yeah, you feel like and did.

Josh: I feel like I remember I had a sore lip and stuff. That was the only real fight outside of my brothers. My brothers and I would kick the shit out of each other.

Tommy: Yeah, I've had my nose broken in a fight.

Josh: Really? Yeah, you can't tell.

Tommy: I had surgery.

Josh: Bullshit.

Tommy: Well, it was just—

Josh: it was a nose job.

Tommy: It was bent.

Josh: You've had a nose job?

Tommy: Well, it's not exactly a nose job. They just put these sticks up and then crack it back into place. Yeah, a guy punched me from behind.

Josh: From behind?

Tommy: Well, I was punching up with his mate and then He just came from behind and wrapped his hand around and hit the side of my nose like that. And it just moved it, bent it.

Josh: And what'd you say? My fucking nose.

Tommy: I just instantly, it starts bleeding instantly.

Josh: And what'd you say?

Tommy: And he fucking ran off like a bitch. And I went in and grabbed the kitchen knife and then someone stopped. It was wild.

Josh: How old were you? You grabbed the kitchen knife. Yeah. You're a maniac.

Tommy: Yeah, I was a bit of a maniac.

Josh: It's lucky that you didn't fucking stab him.

Tommy: I punched him out later in life though.

Josh: Did you really? Was this the one at the pool?

Tommy: Yeah, here's the problem. You punch up someone later and you break your fucking hand on their face.

Josh: I thought you—

Tommy: There's no benefit to fighting unless it's for money, for sport.

Josh: I'm surprised you never ended up— Do you have any criminal record? You don't?

Tommy: Nah, no criminal record.

Josh: That's very lucky. Yes, because you couldn't get into the States, couldn't get into Canada.

Tommy: That's not true. I know a guy who went to jail.

Josh: He probably didn't put in his—

Tommy: Dude, he held up a fucking bank with a knife and was wearing a kitchen cooking glove. He was off his face on ice.

Josh: What, so you think that the cooking glove bit is like— how could you let someone into your country doing that?

Tommy: But I know he went all over America after he got out of jail years later.

Josh: I wonder if it's because it was a drug offense, maybe they didn't put it on his record.

Tommy: It's called armed robbery. You're saying—

Josh: yeah, but if you're on drugs, sometimes they can say— I don't know if this is an Australian thing as well, but I feel like the US, they're like this is going to be looked after by the drug courts. And so you go through a program.

Tommy: Oh man, it's crazy how strict they are in the US. I was surprised when I saw photos of him over there.

Josh: I was like, I bet you he just literally didn't tick the box and got the Ester. Yeah.

Tommy: And then he's like, because that's what you have to do.

Josh: Fuck, bit dodgy.

Tommy: Well, here's the thing, right? I've had fingerprints taken before, um, and but the— what, what I heard was unless you're convicted, they have to get rid of them.

Josh: Oh really?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, that's handy.

Tommy: Not— I mean, handy if I'm going to commit some crimes, which I'm not going to moving forward. I'd happily—

Josh: moving forward, moving forward from today.

Tommy: Yeah, yesterday. But I even think about myself as the person that, like, I, um, got that Airbnb and lied about who was coming. Like, like Right now, I reckon I've had a transition in the last couple of years from rat to possum.

Josh: Have I helped? Come on, give me some credit.

Tommy: Definitely having a baby, definitely the podcast. So then definitely you've helped.

Josh: Why the podcast?

Tommy: I think just, I think the podcast has forced me to think a lot more about my thinking. I think I did. The difference is I didn't verbalise my thinking. This, when you each day like say, you know, and talk and off the cuff, you know, tell storeys and think about how you thought about that or why you did that. I've definitely found myself less bullish in terms of just being thoughtless.

Josh: You told the fucking squeegee storey up the top.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, there's some things that slip back in, but I, I, yeah, I definitely think I, I wouldn't— I would have a problem with trying to sort of like, I'd be more worried about like, ah, the fuckery of having this person, if like the owner rocks up to the house and sees all these people. I can't be fucked with that. I would pay the money to get the place where we can all go.

Josh: And I would hate if I'd known that you'd bullshitted, I would have felt uncomfortable there.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think anyone did. Anyway, it was a great fucking, great bucks. Great, great. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. Yeah, a lot of that. God, a lot of that. I mean, the good things, like one of my mates who's now sober. He was there in full swing, so it was like a good one to send it off. And I'm not drinking.

Josh: And he ended up going into AA or doing the whole shebang after Buck's? How far between your Buck's party and him going to AA?

Tommy: Oh, a good 6 months.

Josh: Okay, a good 6 months more. Months.

Tommy: He still gave it a good nudge for another 6 months, but they were still at the same property. He'd extended the lease.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, we did a tour of America.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Anyway, it's a Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: Are we done?

Josh: Yeah, uh, we're off to the gym.

Tommy: Yeah, we get— yeah, woof woof woof woof.

Josh: Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. And if you've come this far, this is— this has just been one of those casual shows, so yeah, it's a good time to ask people to rate and review us, uh, on iTunes, the podcast app.

Tommy: Interesting. Can you review on any other platform? Because I've never downloaded any other podcast other than the one that comes with your phone.

Josh: You know what, if you can't review, at least send us an email. Yeah, hi@thedailytalkshow.com.

Tommy: Where are you listening from and how did you come across our show? They're the two questions that we have for you. Um, and can you send us a video if it's cold of you throwing water into the air and it freezing?

Josh: Can you not give them so much homework?

Tommy: No, no, okay, those first two. Where you're from, and how'd you find us.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, perfect. All right, stay on the show, have a good one. See you guys.