#236 – Santa & Second Hand Ham/
- December 11, 2018
The Daily Talk Show — Tuesday December 11 (Ep 236) – Josh Janssen & Tommy Jackett
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, fruit is on the agenda again, taking nuts from the supermarket, giving away a free Bertocchi ham and an adults only chat about Santa.
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Episode Tags
0:06
Wait a minute, cross face.
0:11
conversation, sometimes worth recording, with Josh Janssen and Tommy Jenkins
0:17
daily Talk Show Episode 236 14 days till Christmas. Thanks for the countdown the 11th of December 10am here in Melbourne. Yeah, guess what time in North Carolina.
0:30
That's where your brother is. Yeah,
0:30
I was just talking to him on the FaceTime audio.
0:33
Okay, so that you've given me a clue that is so Eric, and it's like it and not time. Over there. So he's just about to go to bed. It's, it's 10. Almost 8pm 6pm 6pm
0:43
two hours off. Yeah. But I thought it would be interesting because of my excitement of nectarines, which is a type of fruit might hear me coughing in the background. She's working from the office. So she doesn't get a new work. See? Get take down a media company. I know that right. Just the, I thought would be fun, given the nectarine Banta to talk about seasonal fruits and what is in season here in Melbourne. And what is picking a city or state? What is in season in North Carolina?
1:19
Is that the most interesting thing that we can do for this podcast? I think so. I will tell you though, yesterday on the way in I was listening to the radio would you have it? And I heard within somewhere in Australia. There was 400 kilograms of garlic stolen from a farm how many kilos Gallic highest 400 kilos I think it's a lot. That's a lot. people steal the weirdest shit entire garlic crops stolen in bizarre Victorian night, right? This is awesome. This is more interesting than your fucking seasonal fruit potatoes.
1:54
North Carolina. They are out there available in fruit in season. Not many not many fruits in season but just so you know in in Melbourne right now. I think what's the difference between a fig and a common fig would not have a clue. I know that so I figured Okay, so right now, summer apricots, bananas, berries, cherries. figs. I love figs. I can't highest caloric fruit. You can buy fig. Yeah.
2:23
Interesting. And then dry that son of a gun out and it was Yeah, but
2:27
they're delicious at night. Yeah. Great fruit grapes. They're all in season. And if you want to go further down the chart, melons, peaches, pears, plums. The strawberries
2:36
are the only time I know when a fruit isn't in season is when I'm blowing up because I want it and I'm at the supermarket and I don't have this already asked astronomical prices. Do you remember the banana saga? Yeah, I don't know what that was. But 2014 maybe bananas in Australia. There was I think it was due to something happening up in Queensland. There was a big, like a weather thing that's on that ripped him all out. Dude, bananas. They were like gold. That was so expensive. It was it was ridiculous.
3:07
One thing I love about the state's is how cheap avocados are.
3:11
Why is that?
3:13
I guess I've they supply and demand. They've got a lot more avocados. Yeah,
3:18
there's a lot of Mexican food rocking around America. Lots of walk needed. Yeah.
3:23
And I guess this might be environment. I think California there's a lot of avocado place. Yeah.
3:29
It's It's weird how the prices fluctuate. And I mean, what's you went to the market before? Yeah.
3:37
So that he's that he's one issue with the whole self serve? thing? Yeah, when you're buying produce, which I've only just sort of gotten into, which is quite disgusting. I tend to buy my food. So like the vegetables are all cut up, they put in a dish, they call it a carry? Yes, I buy my food. Anyway. When you're selecting, you have to select what the fruit is. So you gotta say like, what type of mango is and what type of minorities and what type of apple? I thought that my apple came up with? $1. And I thought it must have been a miss Hawaii or miss scan and got them to come over. And it was it was just really? Yeah,
4:15
that would have been anxiety. Yeah, realism
4:17
for you. And Bry then have the audacity to say, this is why I never go through self service when I've got produce. Okay, man. Yeah. Which I think is doesn't help the problem. I think it's good to learn.
4:28
It's just two hermits who have come out of the house for once and buying a few groceries.
4:34
Life is getting at us, because that's what happens all the time. Do you have to? I don't understand what you have to weigh and what you don't have to wait. So like a banana? Would you buy a banana? Yeah, definitely.
4:45
Okay. Because it's, if it's selling as a killer piece, or like avocados, it's like a lot of the time to for five. And so they asked how many of you got because if you buy one, it's x if you buy three, it's not not as cheap as buying for. So you know, so you buy one and buy another it's like it pays them together and gives you the discount based on the two so you just have to put in the number. But yeah, it's that that they are surprised they've they've worked out how to get the thieves. Because a lot of the time. So when you go and get like, even so for instance a water so sometimes I get thirsty while I'm doing my shopping so I'll start drinking and I'll drink half the bottle of water now that makes me cringe and
5:29
why not? Why can't you do that? Now I think that you gotta wait until you the sale. The transaction is done before you start well.
5:35
I've got a good conscience. I know I'm buying it so there's no no problem. What about the nuts that you wait? Yeah, that's the that's now Yeah. So my point is when you get a water you drink half of it. It knows that it's a liter so it's weighing it for one kilogram Yeah. And so it shuts itself
5:53
so there are it's very precise which probably tells you that the process that they've created it means that you go get the groceries paid for them and then consume them yeah,
6:06
yeah it's there is a guy in
6:10
the Collingwood calls who is very onto it. Like he's they're just looking for people who have who are fucking bending the rules. Yeah, and he's just pulling people up left for IVF banquet. I got pulled out What for? I bought a few nuts. I put a mixed nuts. And I'll put it through say this I put macadamia is I don't do this anymore. But macadamia is and then I'm mixed a few other nuts in and then I put it through his say Arman's. And there was a
6:40
half half. I can't do that. Do you think it is it a family thing? Like when you were you know how, like you are always on time. I'm always on time. Yeah, it's a family thing. The I feel like I remember being a kid. And they were the families that you would go to the shops without pick a grape off and eat it. Yeah,
6:58
do that. I can remember my mom would probably tell me off for doing that. Yeah. But it's he's there is. I mean, he's an example fruit. There is at Safeway, or what's called more words. I'm living in the fresh food people days.
7:16
They still are the fresh fruit, fresh fruit people but then they've changed from they used to be called Safeway,
7:20
the fresh food PayPal now they will work anyway, well words offer which is great. It's over calls. So they've got one up, and they offer free fruit for kids. And they've got this section where it's like three tiers at our was in St Kilda, it's like, you know, they keep apples at the top and they got bananas. And sometimes I get a bit fucking generous in offering nectarines. And so I have So usually I get an apple and I bought into it for Bodie. So it gets the It Gets the bite happening because he can't get through that first in the first chunk taken by daddy. And so sometimes you rock up though, and there's no fruit in there. And I'm thinking fucking poor. I've come here because I decided not to go to cut holes, because you offer the free. Really why you know, I a lot of the time when but if it's like afternoon 530 but he's hungry, and he loves just chomping on a little apple as we walk around the supermarket.
8:14
And so and it's free. The only thing I can relate to this is be when I was a kid. Getting it actually just reminds me getting free samples. One of my mom My mom told me a story of one of her friends who's no known for being bit of a guts a little bit overweight and apparently the other day she was trying something at a bakery and took some samples and she took so many that the chick behind the counter the lady turned around as she was grabbing the samples and she said
8:45
that is disgusting that embarrassing. That is so fucking embarrassing.
8:48
So sometimes there's no fruit because they fuck up. And obviously they just don't refill it. Sometimes you win them sometimes you lose and then at that point, and you could call it stealing I just call it the the tax that I'm charging them. We go up and just grab an apple off the main shelf. If there's no food free fruit as promised, as advertised. Hold on get Bodie you just whatever he wants. Do you
9:15
feel like you're a little bit of a scam?
9:17
No. I think man it is hard. I think I we support them we buy all like they're milking it they fucking say this is the product. You just find what you're okay with like it's almost like I've convinced myself that I know that's a form of theft in some respects. But we do you spend a lot of money
9:38
on a project could you then justify that for and I wonder how whether that's the gateway to say how well we're paying enough like I don't have money today by give them enough money that I'm just going to take this other thing and not pay for Yeah,
9:52
I mean, I i understand that that for someone else's boundary that would be pushing it completely. I mean, does it Oh, it could be a bit of common here when I was a kid I went up I remember clearly else to make calls. And I walked in when I wrote this into like the self serve not section as a little lamb might just have a little cashew jumped on a cashew. It was a one of the caramelized cashews. So the real naughty ones. Fucking my
10:24
my feeling
10:25
came out. I thought it was gonna be the next best thing which is NFL acting. As for my feeling did fall out. Based on the Not that I had stolen. Yeah, because you're being stopped. I think Yeah, I don't think it's good. I don't think I think that even when you're getting nuts the other day. Yeah, you were you handed me a not are you trying to give me in that and I wouldn't take it.
10:46
So you don't think it's good based on your morals? And your flexible? Yeah,
10:50
exactly what I just think that you can't I think that it's setting the expectation. I would, I'm happy to pay like to have transactions that I'm having this thing and I they don't owe me anything. They give me things like produce or products and I pay for them. And that's the transaction. Yeah, yeah.
11:09
I mean, have a kid and then fact market because you get the fruit you still for it. You'll become another guy.
11:18
I never actually I would. I don't think I don't
11:20
like a lot. So for the big ticket Highlands, there's fruit. That's one thing we like when we're walking through the survey will open up like a sachet, or a yogurt for the kid for bowtie and give it
11:34
I can't remember. I can't I haven't been
11:37
really I remember vividly like my mom would. I'd go to the coals or whatever. Every day mom was like a daily shopper. She'd go to calls. It was the thing. I'll get a caramel koala sometimes. Maybe that's why I got so fat. But Carmela koalas but also the chips and pizza man. Yes. Remember that we never had chips with pizza weekly, that sort of an adult thing that's happening. Now. I don't think I don't think it's I think
12:03
it's not I know. It's I know it's not right. I just don't know how wrong it is. So it's what do you do? Hi, the daily talk. show.com. Are you? Do you think I'm told I should
12:17
stop it? Yeah, I think that it's I reckon maybe it's entitlement. I think that's what it is. I've always been taught them the entitlement is that I deserve a fee. Because I have a kid I should be getting this free for this. I'm entitled to that fruit. Well, they do not know why I think I don't know. I just don't i think that i think that I'd be more comfortable with you going up and saying hey, there's no fruit in there. And then going and yeah, I'm sure they will.
12:43
I'm sure they will because I don't have to have another interaction with a human touch these
12:46
places. What so you're saying you're listening to the radio? Yeah. What have you been listening to? I was just listening.
12:52
It was just news a news bulletin about the 400 I opened it up 400 kilograms of garlic. So this is the thing it says a great story for someone for the right like you're always talking about bullshit news stories constantly and a piece of gold comes out like this headline, entire Gallic crop stolen in bizarre Victoria not right. If all of
13:13
a sudden I smell garlic on you later tonight. I know what's happened.
13:16
What are you going to do with $15,000 of Gallic thought like what would do a good candidate and make it your own? crushed? crushed? Yeah,
13:26
I feel like you need to, maybe it's kind of go into like past two sources or so it feels like it needs to be integrated into another product. We win garlic bread, lots of garlic bread
13:36
when I was in shipping, and we did this, it was like a news story about this guy who was driving a stolen car through the region. And he in the car had hundreds and hundreds of newspapers. So from the day they've been printed on that day, and he had hundreds of newspapers that he'd stolen. Just send the cat What the fuck was he doing? Well, I did I actually say don't when you walk outside the supermarket early in the morning, they've just dropped all the papers there. So that I think that life, I think that the world revolves around honesty. Yeah,
14:12
I think that is, I reckon, the small things that we do send signals to, to the respect that we have for the people around us.
14:23
And someone's been opening our mail recently. What do you mean, so at our news, at our, at our letter box, so there's a bunch of letter boxes for our department, and we've been opening up our, our box and there's been envelopes that have been ripped open? And what we've what my mind jumps to is just some checking for cars. I'm looking for cards. Yeah.
14:48
I'm back on the radio thing. What do you notice at this time of year, December, getting through Christmas? What is the common thing that you hear on the radio not my Kobe Bryant
15:02
they're all doing playbacks because they're all down there beach house.
15:06
Any specific promo all talky hams?
15:09
It's halftime. Yeah, I told you we did. I think No, we didn't do this. The guys on the other station in shepherding because we gave away hundreds of these hands. The thing is, it works. People want to be given a ham. I mean vegetarians or vegans don't but hundreds of people want hams for Christmas and the guys on the radio station that will you know partner with they did the ham cannon which was like they just had this cannon sound effect. And then people just call it man hundreds hundreds of people would call across all
15:39
radio stations yet heard everyone promoting so the idea is that this is I reckon that the last 10 years this has been happening or even longer. Yeah, but it's your Kohler up on a radio show you get a get a free hand, you know Yeah, yeah. And so I we what I was thinking is I'm like, if we want to take ourselves seriously as broadcasters, we need to be giving away at least one Pataki him. We'd have to go by how do you get it to them? So that worked out logistics, whereas we would give away like vouches for the local butcher. No, no, no, we'll get it sent. So what I was thinking is, first of all, I was googling and found the marketing managers. details from Pataki from Pataki. Yeah, so that was step one, but then I thought, rather than the complication of having to speak to them, how else could we get a ham and then I was thinking if all these radio stations are giving away hams, surely if I'm working on my book that I'm writing, what what's what's something that Tommy can be doing? And I think that it's fair, a fair ask for you to have to try and get a ham for us
16:57
to go and buy one. No, no, not for the ride. Yes. Now. Here's the thing. you making me listen to fucking radio and I don't like listening to radio, let alone being a prize pig. I know how the phones work. Like hundreds of pests waiting by with the number
17:13
ready to go. I think you should do it. I think about the amount of hours I'm going to spend on the writing thing. Yeah. That's selfish. imposed
17:20
Yes. self imposed, maybe. But I think he's a horrible idea. I'd rather go buy one. No, that's that there's no fun in that.
17:28
I could we could easily go buy one. The problem
17:30
is I have to listen to the radio.
17:32
It's horrible idea. It's absolutely fine. I think that you'd be able to find how about this How about I find the radio shows that are giving away the talkies and I'll give you some time slots that I know that they're going to be giving them away and you have to I'm guessing probably smooth FM in the morning you know the the talk show
17:51
breakfast right? Yeah, I'm probably at Kohl's trying to steal fruit
17:55
at that time at that i think you know there's also evening sort of shows I would say probably three A w the talk the talk show would have it I'm sure that we could we could win a Pataki that we can then pass on to our listeners that you are essentially winning a second hand hand
18:17
second hand ham second hand ham competition that's hard to say
18:21
second hand ham so that you on board with it
18:24
not really because I have to listen to radio. That's the that's the main you'll be fine. Well at least on the way in the morning.
18:32
We do it for me and for the business
18:35
have it I just try and drum up some real business now I think this is more fun. What about we speak to the marketing manager teller we got a podcast would love to give away I like that idea. It makes more sense. What's your name?
18:51
His name his name Tony I think Yeah, based on what I could find, but now I tell you the ham and I think that they I think that they should be at least you should to have at least a couple of goes
19:02
I actually haven't heard other than over 100 taking the piece and I think they do give them away but they're also making fun of the
19:12
heard I've heard a bunch of stuff okay, so you're listening
19:13
what you're listening like 6am
19:16
you know throughout the throughout the day
19:19
you're not listening to me
19:21
in the evening as well when I'm dying home I'll hear hear it. I think that with the connections that you have on Facebook as well. I think that you could put out a thing about hey guys who's giving away Pataki hams and we could narrow it down the talking head. Okay.
19:39
The only thing I'm thinking is Shepperton they might be giving one away and maybe I could somehow get it Yeah. So would you get it shipped would you get it shipped they won't send it here so this is the thing they send you to go get it they give you like a virtual they say your names on the door your names on the handle.
19:59
So maybe we could even working
20:00
we got to ship it in to pick up the hand.
20:03
What's it called Star of him? He's FM but you will Can you just replace commit to it. Say I don't know what I'm committing to. you're committing to what the dream situation for me? is I have no it's you being on air as a punter accepting a hand in shaping. I think that that I think that would be be fun. I'm just looking on the styrofoam site to see if they if they give me my hands. This could be funny.
20:34
I'm happy to do it through styrofoam shipping I just don't know how I'll get through because I know prize pigs and then waiting by they know the time
20:44
prize pig just for the next week. But so height the daily talk show.com if you're in Australia, Melbourne preferably and would like a Pataki ham higher the daily talk show.com the first person to email us we'll send the ham to you okay, at the top we're giving away Pataki here Do I have to be Melton do you say that? Yeah. Okay, we just make that easier because and Tommy might even just drop it off. Why he will drop it off.
21:12
I'm just worried jerking, they could sue us if we gave them a hand that made them sick.
21:15
That you are giving so much pushback to this idea.
21:21
like listening to radio is not that bad. Nowadays, I mean it's a little bit annoying but I think I naturally do it anyway.
21:29
It tends it ends up being when you're in the car that's the thing like I remember we were so strict on all we had to be like you know pull over you know you're not driving I mean makes it easy when you got car systems but you still need to manually press a button. If you're if you have like a Honda has like a coal function. Yeah,
21:49
we'll work it out. Coach you and help you through the price. Pingree I'd be so surprised if I actually won one. He kidding I feel like a piece of paper but am I giving away well I try and work it so what stations and I'll I'll I'll do the ring around or and speak to because we fucking know people are basically every single station or I'm sure that will be able to organize this.
22:15
Actually no kill my housemate from shit. Yeah, he works on Fox live in. Yeah, surely we
22:23
are. We can't be too close. We can't You can't be saying is rigging the competition. That is right. Yeah. We rigged so many of you can say that. Why do you actually remember how about this for a rigged competition? I don't know if it was rigged. But my cousin used to work at double t FM, which is now kiss which used to be mix. And they had a at what's the grass tennis courts? Melvin? Yeah, yeah. Too young too young.
22:50
Yes. That's what they do the grass,
22:52
calm. Cool. They had a tennis competition, basically, where you could win the kids go down and be trained by Roche. What's his first name? Kevin? No. Tony, Tony, Tony Roche, and Tony Roche and who is a
23:11
even goal. Yeah,
23:13
even gone. Callie say?
23:15
I did project on her at school. Really? And these are all professional tennis players. Yeah.
23:20
So anyway, my cousin worked in sales at wt FM and apparently they had screwed up the promotion. And they were meant to have a bunch of kids, but they didn't have them. And so all these kids who were related to the radio station, got to go and be taught and so the best part was, this is in like the early 90s we all got kitted out and feel like you feel a T shirts shorts, shoes hats feel is back in it was fucking cool. It went out came back in feel it and you know what else is become cool again? What champion? Really? Can you explain that to me? I can't.
23:58
When I was young, it used to be but you'd also find the person wearing champion shirt would be drinking. Woodstock bourbon can and smoking a cigarette? It's it's full, but and also 13 years old. Yeah.
24:09
It's so Christmas time. But we've been thinking about the talkies. What else is what else do you think about when you think about Christmas?
24:18
I got a message from my sister in law. She said, What did you want for Christmas? I was like, What? I don't know why she's asking me and I feel like this is unusual hasn't happened before.
24:31
And they're doing gifts.
24:33
Well, I asked me, Why is your sister asking me about prison? She said, cuz she's got you in secret Santa. Like, that's not a secret. If we're doing Secret Santa, and she's asking me what I want. And then I then she. So basically her family. Everyone just says What do you want? And then they get that. And there's no secret about that.
24:52
What's the what's the money restriction on it? I don't know that.
24:58
I'm out of the loop. hundred bucks.
25:01
Well, I asked. I asked for a hat. That's going to be an expensive hat. What's
25:06
that? I didn't know that. There was 100 bucks for hats. I take four hats.
25:11
What sort of how are you getting by the way?
25:14
No, it's just one like this. I just want a few caps for the summer. Okay, I want to say this is the thing I didn't want to I just said I had this brand. What brand out will do? Juice machine. Juice Magna juice machine. The US the US? I don't know. They're just like tracker cap esque
25:33
style hats because you can get like trucker hats on eBay for like, $4
25:37
I hope she gets me a cheap one. So she can
25:42
get you what? Nearly like 25 hats or something? If you want it, I died. 25 so so do you actually like this time of year?
25:52
Not necessarily. There's a lot of we this year, we had a Christmas in July. And I reckon it was probably the best Christmas that we've ever had the third with my family. So mom and dad, my two brothers. My sister in law and my wife and Bodie and Jemima who's my niece, and it was the best because there's a there's a there's a pressure on Christmas Day. And I've found that I think it's relating to the family like a bank to other people's where I'm not I don't feel the pressure myself
26:27
with other people like who
26:29
are you? So I've been to like, partner, partners, ex girlfriends. My wife's family. We were doing Christmas there. I feel like there's a there's a bit more of like, I feel like I don't have to invest so much.
26:42
You know, I think so. Now, what are the triggering moments? Are there certain things that's always contentious issue? So we
26:49
time getting I mean, I should appreciate it more than I appreciate it. My family's it is but then you kind of like everyone comes together and says like, does this
27:00
sit down lunch? Is it the photo family thing that gets it like that the sort of you feel the pressure that you have to feel like this family thing and everything needs to
27:09
be good. I think you are just doing the mold of what Christmas looks like. I mean, not that we have
27:14
a bad time. But describe your type of Christmas. What does that look like?
27:19
We've got a small family so we've we haven't really done big ones. We've done some fun ones. Probably the best one was we had at our house where we had like a few rings that weren't family. There were friends and they came over and was like we just had lamb spit. So me and my brothers were out there just like coals had the lamb rotating as he went to call us I called the cold we had the cold the hot cold rotating. And I think Australia and Christmas is funny because we're used to just hot stinking weather and just shorts just light lounging around you were on Christmas normally I normally wear the shirt that I've been bought
28:03
I've never I've never been bought a shirt or a buys me some sort of Hawaiian shirt. Yeah some sort of college now so that was the button Apple button down what a shirt.
28:17
Why what you you just letting your chest hair is it a button up
28:21
to say on I bought your button up or I bought your button down?
28:24
I'd say t shirt for now doesn't require buttons and then it
28:28
does require buttons.
28:30
What you've got a polo top No, like a real shirt. Yeah,
28:34
shirt isn't a shirt you could say button up shirt button I'm
28:38
not finding I've never been bought button up shirt for Christmas. But what is the go to what do you remember what you get? What you got? What does your mom does Mumbai, you Andy still?
28:49
I can't remember. So this is thing I don't I don't associate it. It's like you're looking at the time of like these real rituals. Maybe that's your family. I haven't done know Christ. I just feel like there's certain things I always eat way too many chocolate coated raspberries. The one thing that is Christmas time is what's the white Ferriero. So you get the Ferriero the dark ones for Russia. Or the other one was the coconut one I've just eaten so many of them for arrow Rochelle Rochelle How do you say
29:22
can you give me
29:25
a bit there? Is that how fellows Raphael is yeah
29:28
that is a Christmas thing for me Yeah.
29:32
Because there's a scene from I think it's a little Britain I've never seen Little Britain but my main a son if he ever sees forever oh she has apparently there's a there's a scene where they walk into a house of a rich person. And she sees ferocious on the table in like a in a bone. She has forever Oh share. She must be doing well. That's why I just think about anyone Toblerone.
30:00
some reason they pump them out at Christmas does have
30:03
like a dad gift. I feel like it's always something I like Father's Day get dead top.
30:10
what I've
30:12
just said she got me one for Father's Day. Yeah,
30:15
well I feel like I've always tumbler on the other thing I associated with these the airport. I've always dreamt of getting one of those big killer ones and eating the whole thing on the fly and shooting my pants. But I can't now I find it interesting the whole Christmas thing because I was talking to conspiracy, Jimmy. Anyone really doc Hale. He said all you need to say Home Alone, which I have saying Yeah. But then he used as an opportunity to call that Hollywood being full of pedophiles and saying that them referring to his love for cheese pizza is actually code for child pornography. Yeah, Chase see a pizza guy. Did you know about this I know about pizza gate, is I'm not even gonna go there. Because you also said anderson cooper from CNN. This is all just while I was waiting for you this morning. All you'd asked is what are you up to? for Christmas? He ended up telling me the anderson cooper that anchor on CNN. Yeah, apparently he's got connections with the CIA. He thinks that he's a CIA agent, not only him. But he was also saying that Ben Affleck's mom was from the CIA. And he was saying, Don't you think it's interesting that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck both became so successful, so young 22? And he said the reason I don't know I can't fact check all the stuff that he was saying the reason was, was because basically, the CIA made them to be successful, so that they could have agents within Hollywood.
31:44
So Ben Affleck and Matt Damon this
31:48
as well as, as well as Anderson Cooper. So that's what like, I asked you me about Christmas. And that's what he told me. Because I was telling him all about this game early for you. Because I was telling him about this elephant, a shelf.
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Elf on a shelf. What's Elf on the Shelf?
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Now, this feels very radio that we're talking about this but you don't know about. You're
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the guy who's asked me. We're giving you a bob Pataki Hey, fucking be talking him on a podcast,
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which is exciting. I could not be more radio, but no, the
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show is this. It is, um, it's a book. And the idea is that it talks about this Elf on the Shelf, and it's like, dressed up like an elf like a christmas elf. And maybe I'm going to go into the adult version. So if you got kids in cars, maybe remove them. It's gonna get real raunchy. Now, the elf on the shelf. It's obviously magical elf. Yeah, what happens is that it will do shit. Like at night. So for instance, if you're being naughty, all of a sudden, you'll wake up my cousin the other day, her kid woke up to a letter from the alpha on the shower. And he had a potato. And the elf said that, that he's being he's being naughty, that my cousin's kids being naughty. And that Santa has instructed that for every time he's naughty, He replaces one present with the potato. So this one on the shelf and not only that, but elf on the shelf is also he's magical. So the other thing is that he'll, you can there was one story on social media. Bray was telling me this because I'm completely out of the loop at the moment. But you can late you can put a leg like one egg into a bone, and then you add some sugar on it. And if you leave it in the morning, elf on the shelf is there. And he's fucking baked cookies out of it. This is a bunch of cushy job. He's just like magic spot. The raunchy bit is is which isn't. Kid kid friendly. Yeah, Santa. Santa two stories. I was asking Jimmy, when did you find out about Santa? Yeah.
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When did you find out? I knew from day one. I've got two older brothers
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really die. What do you actually remember the mind cannot remember.
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I cannot remember having any understanding of it. I don't even want to go there. Because if somebody is listening, okay, I don't. So I knew from very early. And that was because of my brother. So I had no no difference.
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Well, it was all on CNN and everything. Like every year center is on CNN. I think it's fucking anderson cooper from the CIA. Spin in the CIA propaganda. yesterday. You were 13 Yeah, I was. In a very upsetting way. Mom screamed at me. Why? Because I decided in Yeah, I decided to she was going out. And I she decided that she wanted all different Christmas decorations wanted to go sort of monochrome in the colors, monetary, monetary. Anyway, single like gold or silver. And I was old enough that I could stay home while she was out. And she said to me, can you don't touch the Christmas tree, the Christmas tree was up and all the box of old decorations were there. She said don't do anything. Wait until I get home. And I thought that I would surprise her by when she got home. I was going to have it fully decorated. So soon as she left I went and went out and put it all up. And she got home and she was furious. Because she told me not to. And she said take them down. And she said, I said no. And she said if you don't take them down, you're not getting any presents for Christmas. I said, Mom, it's too late. It's December. It's not going to get to Santa. And in that moment, she told me she screamed at me.
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Well, can you please reenact this?
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I'm going to say it So guys, this is a fair warning. I think the project's got in trouble once for like saying something. Kids in cars turn this off. Yeah, because mom turned around and viciously said Josh. Sarah isn't real. Oh. And what did you do? I fucking like it's like the equivalent of your life being turned upside down.
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And I just I ran out the problem was you were 13 So you did drop testosterone was flowing through Yeah, I was
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pretty light to that. I didn't have
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probably not relevant to the story. Glad the realization came before you. Yeah. And so I it was pretty cute. And I just remember crying into the floral couch. The Ugly floral camps I'm that used to have. And I was just like, I couldn't I was just trying to understand where everything was placed. I was trying to understand like, what is real what's not, like straight away I'm like, Well, Jesus isn't real definitely not real. If If Santa is not real Jesus isn't real it's it's an understand why would you push it? I mean, the thing is here Why would you bullshit about Sandra and then all of a sudden like, God is a real some ik but then the other thing I just remember like, I couldn't even put my words again. I just remember being like,
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what about the bunny? Oh, now you believed in the
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the whole thing the bunny that the fuck? I was still getting fucking fairy fairy. The whole thing returned so expensive from keeping the lie going? Yeah.
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What about kids at school? Did they know that you
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Well, this was the fact up thing because I was talking to Jimmy about it. And he was saying that he you know, his family didn't have a lot of money. So he found out pretty he was sort of had this conversation with his mom, where he's like, Mom, you know, our cousins are getting all this stuff. And he's like, I want this. And his mom was like, well, Jimmy, you have there is there is nice and Tim we have to buy them and he understood that he saw it is a big responsibility. Yeah, many on the the hand. And this is the fucked up bit is I remember being at school in primary school and kids, I went to a pretty low socio economic school real sort of spectrum of kids. And I remember kids telling me and saying Santa wasn't real. And I remember that I was old enough to swear. I remember being quite vicious about it and saying like, I think it's fucking disgusting. That your parents taking credit for Santa. I just saw it as a real like, but you still had the belief that he was real? Yeah, absolutely. I thought and so I felt like I was embarrassed if not anything because I'd been thinking about how strong I was strong headed at school and just calling everyone liars and that
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say he's the thing it's it's a it's a coal to that you need to make to decide whether to keep the lie going. And if you challenge me on taking a gripe from fucking the supermarket, but you're okay to spin a vicious lie that goes across years and years and years.
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It was magical for me I was like I was swear that like I couldn't understand any of it. Pretty vicious. Like I think it's no brutal that your mom comes out that would that was the vicious bit but it was lovely that they held on to it arm What happened?
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What happened after that? Have you spoken your mom about this since? Oh, yeah,
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I bring it up every Christmas. What is
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your mom said she she feels guilty?
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I think she's like, Oh, you know, you're being a little con.
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That type of deal. But now I think it's a Christian I've been
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trying to grapple with do do I tell God or do you keep it going?
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I think you keep it going. Don't you think? Like what?
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I didn't think it affected me that not knowing
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that there was something in the imagination I remember having arguments with my so there's so many times but I'm crew told me one of them was when I would want to use all the milk that we had to give to enter into a big cup. Yeah, mom's always like, just give him a small glass. I might know he's been fighting it out all day we're giving him a full massive was and used to drive her in sign.
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So you know you're connecting your ability to have a creativity to your imagination based around that stuff. Yeah,
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I used to think that
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I there's so many things like I would really I remember the intensity of going to bed the night before Christmas. And just thinking that he's going to be in the house. And I would out here I think the fuckers used to be my parents would like have bowels or whatever. So I thought I could hear centers around if I say I remember this kid that I was best friends with who we saw in the street.
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We were really close one more super young. And he was like convinced he was packing his bags, calling me Sanders counter pick us up to pack your bags. I entertained him I was like yeah, guys, I packed my bags just had a bit of fun with it too. But I knew that he wasn't real and he was like talking about and I saw I remember my imagination about this sort of Sanchez will by the time
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this was too young. This is
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very,
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but I remember exercising my imagination, but I still knew. So I don't it's a very
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I did sort of look around the annoying thing was that I was like one of the final ones. It wasn't like a Christmas at the family thing. It wasn't like Nat Josh micro united sign anything I think literally everyone else knew. Yeah.
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See, that's hard. But it is a bit of fun. Yeah, it is it it's a big fucking lot to a child. But I so Joshua fields Milburn the minimalist. Yeah. What do you reckon he's his deal is like, what do you think he's thoughts are around minimalism. And having a having a kid that just wants gifts, gifts gifts, because maybe that's where we learn a lot of this stuff. It's like
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closing the loop from yesterday, Charity Water charity Ward, what is it was the charity I was thinking of. I was just thinking because I just thought what would Joshua fields Milburn do and be like, Look, Santa's donated? box? Yeah, go you can buy a little village a goat? Yeah,
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but it is like our kids want more and more, more. I can I just can tell what bird is going to do. And Amy's gonna spoil. love giving him presents. Look at it. She looks like a sad puppy dog right now that I'm talking like this? It's Yeah, I don't know the answer. And I'm just avoiding it for the next couple of years. Because we don't have to.
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You don't have to spend big
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we don't have to spend big Actually, I want to get him a box. I want to get him stuff. But no, it comes from me. Son worked hard for this bike. And now you've got the bike. So you can
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think I remember hearing someone say that that would get Santa to give pretty shitty presence. And then they would get the good ones. So that would give like a like Santa has given you like, a yo yo, whatever. Yeah, we got your bike. And that was a way of doing it where it's like never too high status on the presence from Santa. Cuz I remember. I remember asking. I don't know why I didn't question it would have been like 10 or whatever. I remember asking for diamond ring for my mom.
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For your mom. Yeah. So yes, you tell mom. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, I
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wrote it, you know, like a letter to him. But I was like, I'm actually going to get a bunch of stuff that I can then give to people. Yeah.
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It is a consumer driven Christmas. Like, think about the movies that sort of chase pizza. Yeah, New York City shot windows toy stores. Buying gift wrapping them up. Like it's all driven by the consumer market. It's disgusting, but it's also
43:45
it's very cynical. I understand or whatever.
43:49
But there is that other side to it like I enjoy Christmas do churchy stuff. Do you ever go to know we used to go to midnight mass? So we did that a few years ago? What's that like?
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midnight? Do they live as it goes to Christmas? It's to do the communion. communion is that what's that thing called with the good? Yeah, yeah,
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I can't remember if we did that. I'm sure we've done that. Yeah, but would go up is at the top of my straight and and we go there. Yeah, I remember that a couple of times. But I would like a white Christmas. I maybe I changed machine if it was snow.
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And it really was like the movie. We're talking to my brother. This morning. North Carolina took him an hour and a half to leave his house. This morning shoveling shoveling snow Holy shit. Yeah, they had a huge amount. So big. I was asking about the Mr. plow thing, but apparently that's only sort of the main straits and you have to do your own thing. So yeah,
44:46
we've got a different here in Australia. A few from overseas. It's stinking hot, sweaty. And lots of beer being drank will Frank
44:54
and what a raspberry a chocolate coated raspberries. Oh yeah. Love them do actually do them or not.
45:01
Now my
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Pavlova. Yeah, that's right. Definitely. Turkey Turkey. I
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I prefer turkey life you know that's good.
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That's easy. Yeah,
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that's I don't know why we don't do that all year round. Turkey Turkey. Yeah, because it really is a thing where it's like we have chicken actually have a friend who doesn't eat poultry really weed. Anyway. She also other types of meat but just not poultry. I will try and get this Ducky
45:33
ham. Because what I'd love to do
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like it just behind the competing behind the curtains what I just really want to play a bit of audio
45:42
of you on the on air
45:45
getting the talking head be funny. Especially because I am station Bruce and Phil hi the daily talk show.com if you want that Pataki ham the first person don't over estimate the amount of emails we get. So even if you here in this in a week's time send us the email anyway with your address because you might be walking away with a Pataki if you're in Melbourne hand delivered and delivered by 11am delivered very clever. It's a daily talk show everyone have a good one. Hey guys.