Love Languages & Cockpits

Tommy: Wait a minute! Frostface! The Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Janson and Tommy Jackett.

Josh: It's a Daily Talk Show episode 230.

Tommy: Monday.

Josh: Happy Monday, everyone.

Tommy: It's here, it's here.

Josh: Mr. 97 is here. Yep.

Mason: How are we?

Josh: Yeah, we're pretty good. I'm sorry I brought you in so early. It's, uh, it's, uh, 10:30 in the morning here in Melbourne. Yeah, in the, in the office.

Tommy: I didn't have too much sleep last night because we didn't— I didn't get home until like quarter to 12 or 11:30, into bed 12, woke up very early. So why? Feeling it today. I, I flew back in from Sydney and during the day got a text message, your flight has been delayed and now you're taking off at 8:15 PM, and then that flight was pushed back. So it was a bit of a clusterfuck, as you would say. And that— but I did, I had, um, two stories. I had one storey from the trip up there, which I've told you. I was going to save it for the podcast, but the second storey trumped the first story.

Josh: Really? Before you do that, yeah, can you guys guess what time it is in New York City?

Tommy: Um, I reckon it's like 5:30, 5:26 PM.

Josh: 6:30 PM.

Tommy: PM. That's not bad.

Josh: Bree actually, uh, was listening to the show last week and she said, oh, oh, it's great. I don't understand why you're telling us the time in San Jose.

Tommy: Hey, Bree, nor do I, but what I do know is it would be freezing cold right now in New York.

Josh: Yeah, well, we saw a photo of Seth Godin. He's got his little, what's it called, beanie?

Tommy: Yeah, to be fair, he's a bald man, so he could be wearing it quite consistently throughout the year, but he doesn't. And it's the first time I saw him donning a beanie. He looked very cash, but they were outside and it looked freezing. So it's been snowing. Already over in New York. But this, I mean, that's what you want. If you go to New York this time of year near Christmas, you want snow.

Josh: A white Christmas.

Tommy: You want it to look like Home Alone when you went to New York.

Josh: Have you guys ever done a white Christmas?

Tommy: Never.

Josh: Not that type of white Christmas.

Tommy: Ho ho ho!

Josh: I'm so sorry everyone.

Tommy: Anyway, so the flight. Yeah, the clusterfuck flight gave some gold. So I've always been on planes and this is my go-to because you don't have reception if you're not a baller flying on an airline that has Wi-Fi. But even then it's still pretty slow, I couldn't be bothered. And so what my go-to is— have you ever been on a plane, Mr. 97?

Mason: Yeah, not one with Wi-Fi though.

Tommy: Okay, so he's not balling, um, nor am I.

Josh: How the fuck did he get here from New Zealand?

Tommy: Never know.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Have you ever caught— how often Do people catch boats from Australia to New Zealand?

Tommy: Uh, you can. There's a, um, unless it's a cruise, like a cruise liner out of Sydney takes you to New Zealand.

Mason: But that's like the Pacific Island, is that like the Pacific Island travels? Like you go, I don't know, man, I don't, I'm not a travel agent.

Josh: Yeah, that's not the, yeah, all your family's back in the flight center, right?

Tommy: No, but, um, I met someone over the weekend and he was from Ireland, Dublin. And he said his mum and dad, I said, have they come out to visit you? And he said, no, they don't, they don't fly. And I said, what do you mean they don't fly? He's like, they've never flown on an aeroplane. What do you mean? It's crazy, they don't even have a passport. And then he said that they don't even have a car, like their driver's license.

Josh: What do they do?

Tommy: Housebound, hermit life. No, they're just, they're just not adventure, not I guess you can't say you're not adventurous if that's not even your type of adventure. They just don't like flying. And so, yeah.

Mason: Did he go into any specifics about why they don't like flying? Because some people, like, um, there was, there was, uh, one of, one of my relatives, they were, they were afraid of flying because, uh, they're—

Tommy: because they can die.

Mason: Yeah, it was, it was because of, um, one of their grandparents was in like one of the world wars and they were in the fighter jets.

Josh: Okay.

Mason: And they died in the jet.

Tommy: So, all right, yeah, that's a fair reason.

Mason: Stems from that.

Tommy: It'd be a bit, be a bit scared. Anyway, this plane, the— so my go-to is going through my photos and like deleting them or sorting them. It's just such a go-to.

Josh: So you always start clicking through, update your iCloud.

Tommy: Yeah, true, but not even like sometimes you want to go through and just delete the blurry ones. Okay, it's a good point, but what I'm— where this storey is going is I saw a guy doing exactly what I was doing, but he was doing the desktop version. So he was obviously in his iPhoto on his MacBook. And so I was watching him, he's kind of just going through. I saw him get to a few blurry ones, delete, and then he kind of just opened up full screen and sort of was just browsing through. And I'm thinking, fuck, I hope something funny comes up here.

Josh: And he's something a little bit dirty, and he's just pressing.

Tommy: I wasn't— I didn't want dirty, I just wanted funny. Until cock shot, full-blown two photos, just His penis in a hand, or a penis in a hand?

Josh: Do you think it was his penis?

Tommy: I don't know, but all I saw—

Josh: I fucking laughed.

Tommy: He was like— he was—

Josh: how close was he to you?

Tommy: So I was in the aisle seat. So if you're looking towards the cockpit, I was—

Josh: the cockpit! Cockpit or White Christmas? Where you going, guys?

Tommy: If you're looking towards the cockpit, his one, that was on the right. The cockpit was all the way ahead. So I'm on the left side of the plane in the aisle seat, and he was on the right side of the plane in the window seat and in an exit row where the two people— so the middle seat in the aisle were empty. And so I had this line of sight to the cockpit, this guy's cockpit, and he's swiping through, and I just see him just double speed as soon as you— just trying to get past this. And I was like, fuck, that's outrageous.

Josh: And so Do you— would you be comfortable with me looking at your deleted photos now?

Tommy: Yeah, I've got no— I don't take cock shots.

Josh: All right, so you're just opening up your phone because the thing is they don't delete straight away, they give you like 30 days. Perfect. Don't you look first, let me. All right, so I'm just on Tommy's, uh, phone. There's a section that has like people. Fuck, they've really— they've changed things up. So they've got like a media type section in iOS where it's got selfies, live photos, portrait, long exposure.

Tommy: An explanation.

Josh: Well, I'm trying to fucking find it. There's a section called Rug.

Tommy: Oh yeah, that was my hairy chest. There are some photos that I've told you about when we're doing that Fitzbo challenge or the Fatso challenge, and I was just taking some photos of myself in the mirror clothed, actually top off but clothed. So that's about as far as it goes.

Josh: I've only ever taken before photos. Yeah, I've never gotten to the stuff of it, but when I do, it's gonna be great. I don't even know if there's a deleted— oh, here you go, recently deleted.

Tommy: Yeah, man, there's nothing.

Josh: Oh, a lot of the daily talk show content.

Tommy: Well, I put a lot of it onto the computer and then delete it all.

Josh: There's a photo of full cream milk, a Kit Kat mint flavor, which I don't know if that's only in Australia, but that's exciting, and crumpets.

Tommy: Oh yeah, that was Amy was away and I sent that to her and I said living the dream, dinner or something like that.

Josh: That's good. You got the shit avocado, and there is a photo of me, a video of me doing just a little thumbs up, which for some reason you decided to—

Tommy: No, it was a photo that I thought, I thought I was taking a photo, but I took a video. So I've got nothing to hide. So I'm not a cock shot sending type of guy. Never sent one.

Josh: You've never sent one?

Tommy: Conspiracy Jimmy just looked in. Hey, Jimmy, Jimmy! We— I need to get a reaction from you. This is a good time to segue into the email we got. Conspiracy Jimmy, I actually don't want you to say hi or give anything other than your reaction to something that we were sent. I'll show Mason and James at the same time.

Josh: Okay, great.

Tommy: And we can get a reaction.

Josh: Tell them this is, um, Conspiracy Jimmy that's just come into the office. We've never had his voice on.

Tommy: We can't.

Josh: In fact, he went to Fat Fridays, he started talking about a conspiracy No one knew that he was Conspiracy Jimmy. He said the reason why he didn't get a BMW is because they can control your car.

Tommy: And now he wants to respond, but he can't because he doesn't exist.

Josh: He doesn't exist. And someone was giving pushback on it and they said, "Oh, this isn't Conspiracy Jimmy, is it?" And I said, "Yeah, it is." And then all of a sudden there was a cloud of smoke, plume of smoke, and gone. So we got an email from a guy named Andrew. In New York, an Aussie dude living in New York. And he actually discovered us through Matt D'Avella and The Minimalist. Anyway, he's actually doing a social media hiatus at the moment, week one. I don't know if this is, you know how people, there was no, is there no wanking November? Is there?

Tommy: No fap November or something. No nut November.

Josh: No nut November.

Tommy: Which is actually, I heard not that great for you. You should regularly masturbate and helps with healthy sperm. It does, that's what they say.

Josh: Anyway, healthy— you've got the healthiest sperm going around.

Tommy: Well, at least, um, Conspiracy Jimmy and I have— we're on the record healthy sperm. We've both got children.

Josh: Okay, yeah, sure, that's what I'm getting. I don't need to prove that. We've got data, baby. Baby data. We've got baby data. All right, so anyway, he, uh, Andrew goes on to say that he's got A good friend in Ballan in Victoria, he says that she's been spamming him recently with images of her— should I say what it is? Yeah, ingrown toenail.

Tommy: Which, if you're not across this, we've been— it's a slippery slope. You ask and you shall receive.

Josh: Well, literally, we had a review of our podcast over the weekend from a guy named Johnny who says, 5 stars, thanks Johnny, it's hard to describe this podcast. It's funny, insightful, and thought-provoking. I can't stop listening to it even if the toenail chat is well random. So that's what Johnny said. But anyway, this, I think this is gonna end me soliciting photos of the toenail.

Tommy: I hope it does, 'cause I don't want another photo like this.

Josh: So get ready, put the mic on Jimmy. So this is the photo that was sent to us of the toenail. Oh! That's pretty bad. He's come out, oh my God. This is how, it was so full on that Jimmy actually had a few words. It is, it's gone.

Mason: That's disgusting.

Josh: One of your friends actually said, Tommy, they've just put mustard on their toe. Oh my God. No, that is a full-blown—

Mason: That's awful.

Tommy: You sent me that, oh, you sent it to me, it was in our inbox yesterday and you'd opened it, then you messaged me and said, have you seen that? And I was a little bit hungover yesterday and I nearly vomited. That's all I said, we're not posting this anywhere.

Mason: That's disgusting.

Josh: It's so bad. I mean, it does make me feel, it's almost like embarrassing bodies.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: 'Cause the reason I guess that we watch "Embarrassing Bodies" is because it makes us feel a little bit— Feel great.

Tommy: I love that show. Dr. Christian, the dude on it. He's like the— I made some like video about Dr. Christian once. What do you mean? Well, I made a video about with my friend. It was like this mockumentary about how we were so obsessed with "Embarrassing Bodies" in our life.

Josh: Was this radio days?

Tommy: No, this was before. Our life revolved around it. And then we had like a comment from like a best friend that in the video was like, you know, that was worried about her friends. Anyway, Dr. Christian retweeted it. One of the funniest episodes I watched though was when this guy went into the van. And if you don't know, it's like sometimes they set up on the street where there's this big van and like people off the street come in and talk about their medical problems. It's all probably produced and they have people send in, but it's like that travelling around van. And so they do consultations. This one guy comes in and he shows Dr. Christian his asshole and he's like, you know, I think it's like leaking. I think I can't— like, it's always got some poo in there. And he did an inspection and worked out, and it cuts to Dr. Christian saying he just needs to revisit his wiping technique. The poor bastard just lost his wiping his ass properly and went on national television.

Mason: Oh, no.

Josh: I remember hearing a storey of someone who went to— I think a nurse was telling me someone went to the hospital because they thought they were having a heart attack and they were just constipated. They just needed a bog. Yeah, that is really full on.

Tommy: That's embarrassing.

Josh: It is extremely embarrassing. But that does remind me of TV shows that would pop up in different places. For instance, Backyard Blitz visited a house in Endeavour Hills where I went to school in the suburb. And it was—

Tommy: What, in the '90s?

Josh: No, 2000s, early 2000s.

Tommy: Yeah, TV was big and those shows were very— They had a lot of cutthroat.

Josh: It was huge. I just remember like, 'cause you would get an insight. So, Backyard Blitz, how would you describe that show?

Tommy: Backyard Blitz? Nah, it's like one episode. They go into a struggling house. I mean, a landowner, so they're not that struggling, but someone whose garden is an absolute piece of shit, shambles, or they've, you know, need some help there. And then they redo the whole garden in a whole episode, very like blokey and wheelbarrows and, all right, we got some Lillydale toppings here, we're gonna run this out, put the little fountain in and bang, we got a bloody garden.

Josh: I know you're doing the blokey voice, but it doesn't sound that blokey to be honest. But it's got Jamie Dury on it.

Tommy: Oh yeah, do you remember? Yeah, Jamie Dury.

Josh: He's the, what was he?

Tommy: He was in Manpower, he was a stripper. We've got some synergy there. Between—

Josh: not synergy, we've got some, uh, what was the one that you were part of? Um, Aussie Spunks?

Tommy: No, that was my company. But then the business— that website back up? No.

Josh: Could we— could you find it through, um—

Tommy: no, it doesn't flash because we paid 10 grand for a flash website, didn't even load. Anyway, uh, Aussie Hot Shots.

Josh: What was the Sydney Hot Shots?

Tommy: Sydney Hot Shots.

Josh: And it went to New Zealand, and we went to New Zealand.

Tommy: Yeah, so that was, yeah, anyway.

Josh: Do you remember any, because we were, I remember specifically we got to peek behind the curtains because it turns out that these characters in the show, they don't do all the grunt work. They have all these helpers who come in and do it all. Yeah. And then it's Jamie Durie coming in going like, how good is this? A bit of Jules Lund.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But have you ever, did you ever when you were growing up have one of these TV shows? Take over any part of you?

Tommy: So where we lived, there was a—

Josh: Sam Newman, he didn't do Straight Talk?

Tommy: We used to get things in the mail that were saying like, basically looking for houses to film in for TV shows. And so we'd always every now and then get letter in the mail. It's like obviously just a letterbox drop, some sort of location scouts walking around. But across the road they did, they filmed something there. I wasn't sure what it was, but there was no Backyard Makeovers in Brighton, highly commissioned. They weren't on television. It'd be a Grand Designs in Brighton nowadays. There's no Backyard Blitz. But there was one actually, a house maybe 50 metres away from where I grew up. Old dump, derelict style house. So a woman used to live in there and rumour has it— Old lady.

Josh: Yeah, really slammed it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. So She died. Anyway, it turned out this is the rumour or the, the myth that she left it to this guy that used to just give her a hand with the property.

Josh: Oh yeah, and it clearly wasn't doing a good job if he was, if it was, if it was that run down.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, no, but no, it was an old, it was like an old Derek house. You can't really do much. She might mow the lawns.

Josh: So it was like it had a mown lawn.

Tommy: Yeah, mowed lawn. It wasn't fully shit. But anyway, he got the house. How amazing is that? So next time you knock back helping your neighbor, you never know what— you never know that you could have been in the will and receive the whole house.

Josh: The suburb life has— a few things have been going on, one of which is I'm living at mum and dad's for the next month. Yeah. And so I get—

Tommy: you just got out of jail if you've just said this.

Josh: Basically.

Tommy: But no, so If you call European holiday jail.

Josh: Santorini feels like it at times. No, so I get led into things that you would normally miss, like mum and dad's arguments.

Tommy: Oh yeah, well, yeah, I mean, you grow up with it. It just is a part of the woodworks, even if they're not arguing all the time. Like, is there— do your parents argue?

Josh: No, not that much. Like, mum had to bring it to our attention. So it was like 8:30 or whatever and we're sitting on the couch and Mum said, "Oh, I'm not talking to Richard, by the way." Was he right next to you? He was just there on his iPad.

Tommy: That's classic.

Josh: Just scrolling.

Tommy: I will say there's a difference between what someone would classify as an argument from the outside and what is just, you know, like bickering between a partnership, which is, or, you know, I think everyone just has slight blowups.

Josh: Well, Dad's pretty softly spoken. I remember about 4 years ago we went to Broome for New Year's.

Mason: Oh yeah.

Josh: Asking everyone, what's your New Year's resolution? As I sort of do. Yeah, sort of, it's one of my favourite questions.

Tommy: It's either that or what's the highlight of your day?

Mason: Yeah, what's the highlight of your weekend?

Tommy: Well, I'm glad these moved from what's the highlight of your day at 9 AM to what's the highlight from your weekend. You've got a bit more to pull from.

Josh: The funny thing, I did ask Mason the highlight of his weekend, but then he handballed it straight back to me as if I had an answer. 'Cause I think that because when I ask people, they assume—

Mason: Oh, it defers it off you.

Josh: No, but I feel like people assume that I'm asking 'cause I've got something exciting to say.

Tommy: Oh, actually I did have that thought this morning. I thought you were excited to tell us something, but you thought the process was, "He has first." No, I had nothing at all. Got nothing, got nothing. All right, well I've got something, so.

Josh: Well no, 'cause I think it was the way that Mr. 97 pitched it. He said, "But what about you?" Yeah, yeah. Sounds like you've got a highlight. What the fuck are you talking about? Anyway, the, uh, uh, Apple Watch is going, that's exciting. I got a call, uh, I'm ignoring it. So we were in Broome and I was asking everyone what their New Year's resolution is, and Dad— How old were you then? I would have been, so this would have been, if this was 4 years, I would have been like 25. Okay, would have been, it would have been 2014, yeah, about 4 years ago. Anyway, uh, Dad said not to be a pushover, right? That's what he was saying.

Tommy: That makes me a bit sad.

Josh: Yeah, which is fun. But the funniest bit was the next morning, January 1st, Mum said, I want to go and do a, like, a little plane ride over the thing. And Dad goes, nah. She goes, Richard. He goes, all right. And we're like, how's that? How's that going for you, Richie? So it gives it— paints a bit of a picture of what he's like. But he was there with the iPad.

Tommy: In fairness, not everyone sticks to their New Year's resolutions, but January 1st—

Josh: and if you've got something like, you know, some people are fine fighting, you know, big cravings and stuff. Others are just fighting wind jets. But anyway, so yeah, mum said no, like I'm fighting with Richie. The reason was because over the weekend they had a car club event. It was a Friday, Saturday, Sunday thing. Dad's part of the American like muscle car club.

Tommy: He's got a sick old school ute.

Josh: Yeah, he's got an Impala as well. That's what they took as well, which is like a, It's not a ute. So the one you're describing is the El Camino.

Tommy: That's for sale.

Josh: The El Camino is for sale.

Tommy: Get in touch, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. We don't ship outside of Australia. Well, it is a left— For the right price, we'll send interstate.

Josh: Well, it is a left-hand drive car. Yeah. So it would be fine using it in the States.

Tommy: But just that import-export, a bit complicated.

Josh: If they covered it, I guess. But anyway, so mum and dad went, so I was wondering what, What could this be? And so what it turns out it was, was I think Dad's the president of the car club. Or he's senior, he's definitely on the committee.

Tommy: Big swagga.

Josh: Yeah, he's definitely high up there. But he made an announcement on the Sunday about the, what do they call it, the AGM.

Tommy: Oh yeah, Annual General Meeting.

Josh: And he was telling everyone, annual gen, annual, Annual General Meeting, the AGM. Yeah, everyone, it's going to be on the 13th of February. And he went on to describe it, and my mum said, she like gasped, like, she goes, that's my 60th birthday, the AGM. So Dad has booked the AGM on Mum's 60th birthday.

Tommy: Dad, yeah.

Josh: And he goes, oh, I've already— you fucked up. Well, he said, I've already— I've sent them an email, I've, I've got in my proxy vote, and, um, so— and I've organised so-and-so to do the minutes or whatever the fuck goes on. Yeah, but, um, yeah, they, they weren't talking because of that.

Tommy: I mean, is it— have they worked out the solution? Because you get— you fucked up, mate.

Josh: Yeah, well, the solution is Richie's not going.

Tommy: You can't go to the AGM, bro.

Josh: But apparently he— they also have some sort of social event which was on the 18th of February. So he described the AGM, yeah, and then this, this social event. Apparently that social event aligns with all the shit that we were meant to be doing for mum's birthday.

Tommy: Um, speaking of AGMs, I hadn't really heard of this being a thing in—

Josh: it's definitely a thing.

Tommy: I mean, yeah, I mean, we now do it. Yeah, I didn't even know about it until a few weeks ago, but I went to a barbecue. I didn't I didn't even tell you the story. And, uh, went to a housewarming. Yeah, Amy and I and Bodhi. And we got a text from— oh no, sorry, they had a Facebook group set up for the barbecue. And on the Facebook group, Amy checked it just to make sure that it was all going. And it was all like, we were running late anyway. And on there it said, um, if, if you need a park, there is some around in this street, uh, because if you don't want to park out front of the house with all of the bikies, you can be down there. And so we got, and I was excited, I was like, I wanna park out the front of the bikies situation. 'Cause I was with a kid, they, you know, I thought that would be friendly to us. And so we pull up, they've fenced off this whole entire house and there's two big fucking—

Josh: Temporary fencing.

Tommy: Temporary fencing off this like block of apartment, a block of units.

Josh: What suburb can you say?

Tommy: I won't tell you 'cause that, I don't wanna get killed. But it was a suburb.

Josh: You're mouthing Port Melbourne.

Tommy: Bayside, no, no, it was within Bayside. It's within Bayside. So there's this temporary fencing all around this house. I took a photo, I will show you. I'm not posting it online just because I wanted to show my brother. And what we found out was, so we parked out the front, two big guys, I got Bodhi out and they've sort of like got walkie-talkies and shit.

Josh: So they all in leather?

Tommy: Legit, yeah, full leathers.

Josh: It was like with walkie-talkie. I can't, like, I know they're not going to listen, so it's okay. But don't you think it's a little lame?

Mason: The walkie-talkies?

Josh: Nah, the walkie-talkies are cool. No, the leathers bit. I find it's like, guys, you're not on your bike. Take your jacket off.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't think you'd understand it. I'd never say that to one of their faces though, because they're pretty passionate about it.

Josh: But don't you think it is a little bit like high school?

Tommy: But I don't understand your dad into this car thing that goes around. That's like a childish behavior.

Josh: Yeah, there's definitely polo shirts involved.

Tommy: But what I think about it is like there's a passion there. And so the bikies are a business. As much as you think they're just selling drugs, which they might be, but they've also got a lot of businesses. So it turns out when I went in, I said to the dude whose housewarming it was, what's going on? He said, yeah, I contacted a friend of mine who's a police officer who then rang around a few other cops, and then he said that it is this bikie club's AGM. Annual General Meeting. AGM? Yeah, AGM. So that it was a legit like, um, board business meeting. Like, I can only think about why they're wearing their leather house. Yeah, all wearing their leathers at the table, and then it coincided with their Christmas party. That's what he said.

Josh: So it would have been getting jumping castles and shit.

Tommy: There was no jumping castles.

Mason: Really?

Josh: What sort of shit did they have?

Tommy: They could have— see, no, this is the thing, it was fully enclosed. You could see into the property, but it must have been happening sort of out the back or around. My thinking was this fencing was in case like another bikie club wanted to come and shoot them up.

Josh: The, um, it sounds like bikie shit. Do you reckon bikies do family days though? They would.

Tommy: Family days for their fam, like bring your kids to work?

Josh: Yeah, no, well, I would, if they're doing AGMs and all that sort of thing, I could imagine being like the fucking insert bikie gang Christmas party at Luna Park.

Tommy: Maybe, but it's probably a bit more like they've all got clubhouses and stuff. But the thing is, a lot of the dudes who were on the door when I went back to the car, 'cause we parked out the front, there was another troop of like another, they were different from the first and they were friendly. This is like, they didn't, these ones weren't scary ones with face tats and like, you know, big muscles. These just look like dudes who were sort of late 40s, 50s, and they just, you know, love the car.

Josh: What do you reckon the appeal is?

Tommy: It's community. It's like a brotherhood. It is. There's something about it. I think it's getting together. A lot of it, like, I know a dude who's a bikie, and I think his dad was, and so there's a, you know, it's like generational. You'd think it's like the thing you should do.

Josh: Have you—

Tommy: you've never watched Sons of Anarchy or anything? It's a really good insight. It's probably trivialized. They've— it's very much, you know, gun smuggling, dealing drugs, like turf wars and shit. But it gives you a good understanding of like how the sort of system works. I loved it. I've watched so many bikie documentaries. There's like Australian bikie documentaries on, um—

Josh: I just think maybe I think it's all a bit petty and silly, like turf wars in Brighton or wherever it is. It's like, what's—

Tommy: oh, 100%, that it could seem petty. But I don't know, it's like, remove the violence out of it, there— I don't know, maybe that's why it's when the drugs are involved.

Josh: Is it because they're scary that we're not willing to be like, oh, it's all a bit silly, you guys have a club, like it's cute, like it's cute. Yeah, there's a cute element to it which we're not— we don't sort of talk about.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I get what you mean. You just wouldn't say it to a bloke with fucking Mongols on his forehead.

Josh: You didn't have to say any names.

Tommy: I've seen a guy with Mongols tattooed on his forehead.

Josh: Okay, uh, when you were growing up, were you good at, um, because you were one of three, three boys, did you find that when it comes to looking after your mum and get like Christmas presents, who was in charge of like making sure that mum was looked after?

Tommy: Yeah, I think maybe it was the same, a house full of boys and mum ends up getting no present. Yeah, it was.

Josh: Well, so it made me realise when dad did this, you know, organising the general meeting on mum's 60th, it did remind me of the Christmas of like, uh, when I was probably like 15. Yeah. And, um, we asked mum, what do you want for Christmas? And she said, on, on nothing, just to just maybe just like a Suzanne voucher, just give me like a Suzanne voucher.

Tommy: Classic.

Josh: Yeah. And so on Christmas Day, we gave her a Suzanne voucher.

Tommy: That's lovely. I mean, she got what she wanted. Exactly.

Josh: She burst into tears.

Mason: Why?

Josh: Well, she was like, she was expecting something to open. She was like, you guys just don't care about me. Did you, have you ever had any of those? I mean, your mum is very sort of zen. Your mum's a yoga teacher and Buddha. Is she a Buddha?

Tommy: Other than the gift of life, I cannot remember my dad buying me a present. My dad has done so much for me. And this is, you know, the 5 love languages.

Josh: Can you say that again? Sorry, I interrupted you 'cause I was asking, is your mom a Buddhist? No, she's not.

Tommy: She's not a Buddhist.

Josh: She's into all the Zen yoga stuff. So what were you just saying about your dad has never, has bought you?

Tommy: Having the gift of life, I can't remember specifically from my father a gift. Not to say he's a bad dad. He—

Josh: Oh, to you. To me, to me.

Tommy: Or to my mom for that matter.

Josh: He—

Tommy: I— there's— so the, the book Five Love— The Five Love Languages.

Josh: Is one of them taking the bins out? Is that a love language?

Tommy: Acts of service.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So there's, um, can you look up the Five Love Languages? So there's acts of service, um, gifts, quality time, and a bunch of others. And what it is, and where I've— and I literally was thinking about this yesterday— I don't fall into the gifts category and I don't feel like I'm loved when I'm given gifts. It's just not my love language. Mason, have you got them up?

Mason: Yeah, so it's words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

Josh: Yeah, so physical touch kind of guy.

Tommy: I love affection 100%. So you can be a blend of—

Josh: should we hug every morning?

Tommy: Definitely not. I don't hug you. I want— I get enough from my wife and my baby. But I love, yeah, so you can be a blend of the two, definitely not gifts. Acts of service is 100% my father. So the way my dad shows me love is, and I don't even know if he'd know this.

Josh: So can you show, can you, the love language that you are, is that the one that you want? So if you are a service guy, you like acts of service, does that mean that he likes acts of service?

Tommy: No, not necessarily. It's the way he shows love to you. But this is where you can go extremely wrong, and that's why this book is so great, is because I can understand my dad and I could understand how he's— 'cause I could go, he's not telling me he loves me, he's not buying me gifts. But then you could think about, he helped me fucking come in on a Sunday and paint this studio. He helped me build some of this wall where we are right now. He built me ramps, he bloody, build me anything as a kid, right? And that's his way of showing I love you. It's a weird—

Josh: 'Cause you asked him today on the phone as a joke, can you build Bodhi a ramp? A ramp, he took it so seriously.

Tommy: He was like, yes, look, I will have to work something out.

Josh: I will be able to do that. 2 minutes later he called, he was at Bunnings. He was like, yeah, I'm trying to work out materials. So what do you, so what is your love language then? So the love language being the one that you wanna receive, or the one that you give? Yeah, the one. So do the one that you give.

Tommy: But I think the one—

Josh: how do you show that you love someone?

Tommy: How do I show? I think words of affirmation, like, I— and, and, um, what's the other one? Quality— uh, no, touch.

Mason: Physical touch.

Tommy: Physical touch and words of affirmation, I think, is one. Like, I love being affectionate to Amy and showing her I love her and telling her I love her. And I probably haven't had— I probably need a bit of that And that's probably my love language. So maybe I haven't read the book in years, but I think maybe you project your love language onto other people, which then you can get in trouble because you're like, well, I'm fucking building you everything and you don't think I love you? I built you a ramp.

Josh: You know, I cuddled you all last night. What more do you want?

Tommy: And so it's a good one to understand. So I don't know, I think that's how I show up. But so for instance, my mum has sort of come to grips with the fact that she's probably not getting a gift from my dad. And so what's her love—

Josh: so my mum's love language is Suzanne vouchers.

Tommy: So, um, acts of, uh, she probably wanted more thought behind that. So she says that— here's the problem though, she's tried to get you to uncrack the Da Vinci Code. 'cause she said that she wants one thing, so you listened and then you deliver on it, tick, tick, tick, and she blows up. So she wanted you to be thoughtful and say, "No, I wanna do something for you." And so she probably wants you to, she's probably a bit of the gifts thing with some acts of service.

Josh: Well, she was very happy on Mother's Day because I took a photo. What are you saying, TJ?

Tommy: I just said to Mason how we work out what someone's love language is.

Josh: You can always just ask it on mic. It's more confusing when you talk off mic like an idiot. No, but mum was very happy 'cause on Mother's Day I'd taken a photo, James, my brother who lives in the US, my brother Jake were all in the same room or park or whatever. So we got a photo and then I went to Kmart and got it printed and put it into a photo frame. She loved that.

Tommy: Yeah, so there's some thought.

Josh: So which one is that?

Tommy: I think you can be a blend, acts of service and gifts.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: So you've put in time into something very thoughtful. And I know that's something I need to fucking work on with my marriage and the woman I'm married to, understanding her love language.

Josh: Are they different people? They might be, but describe them.

Tommy: Oh, hey, did I tell you I've got 3 wives? No, no, no, one wife, one marriage, one life. Love you, darling.

Josh: How does love language work with business partners?

Tommy: Great question that we need to put into the book because I think it plays a part of it. Like you gotta, it's understanding someone 'cause I think we're all sort of exchanging love and being loved is like feeling like you're cared for or someone's thinking of you. So yeah, it does play into business partnerships.

Josh: Mr. 07.

Tommy: Found anything?

Josh: What's the deal with the love language thing?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so there's an assessment online that you, you can take. So, it's just got a bunch of questions.

Josh: You found a fucking Facebook quiz.

Mason: No, it's on the official website, 5lovelanguages.com.

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Josh: And then you can buy it at the end.

Mason: How many questions?

Tommy: 30.

Josh: Okay. Well, we're not fucking doing that.

Tommy: Can't do it within 3 minutes.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, everyone. HiTheDailyTalkShow.com. Thanks, Andrew, for that grotesque email. We do appreciate it.

Tommy: Very appreciative. We are very appreciative. Except you didn't get the $50.

Josh: Yeah, you didn't put the Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: The only way someone's getting $50 is if they take a photo of their ingrown toe with the Daily Talk Show either written on a piece of paper or the sticker.

Josh: So, or even on the toe, that would be quite funny.

Mason: So is this still going on?

Josh: Josh is $50 for grabs.

Tommy: Yeah, I want him to lose the $50.

Josh: I don't know if it's happening, but yeah, it's hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. Otherwise, we'll see you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: See you guys.