House sitting

Josh: It's the Daily Talk Show. I'm Josh Janson.

Tommy: I'm Tommy Jackett.

Josh: And this is A Conversation Sometimes Worth Recording, episode 95.

Tommy: Far out, we're in a nice house.

Josh: Yeah, I'm house-sitting.

Tommy: Yeah, it's better than your past one, I'll just say that.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, this was designed for a larger family. Yeah, 4-bedroom.

Tommy: Does the trip feel like it's a lot closer and reality is really setting in for you?

Josh: Yeah, I mean, for people who don't know, in a month time, Bree and I head off to Europe for 3 months. And so it's worked out well. Bree's old boss, she was going away, and because Bree was very trusted and OCD and all of that good stuff—

Tommy: to be honest, if there's anyone that I would— in my immediate friendship group, it's Bree who would look after my house because I know she would keep it exactly how I left it.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: She gave me some funny look.

Josh: Either that means she's gonna trash this joint, or I don't think she's happy how you're sitting on the couch. I think that's what it is.

Tommy: Can I tell you, when I— an old girlfriend of mine years ago, I was at her auntie's house for Christmas. Do you remember the nudie jeans? Yeah, they're still—

Josh: remember, they're on—

Tommy: they're still around. Yeah, they're just—

Josh: Chapel Street.

Tommy: I used to drop fucking $250 on a pair. I'm just more of a tight-ass now, so I haven't bought nudie jeans. What are they?

Josh: These ones, Coles.

Tommy: I got these for maybe $100. I don't really want to spend any more than $110.

Josh: Stretchy, that's cool.

Tommy: Yeah, these are stretchy and have rips in them. I still paid $100. Anyway, I had these ones that were like blue, and if you remember nudie jeans, they like, they rip. Sorry, sorry, they, they, uh, the dye like comes off into your hands and your skin. Yeah, it's because you're not meant to wash them straight away. Some, some fashion. Do you know what I'm talking about, Bree?

Josh: And you can't go on white couches and all sort of thing.

Tommy: I went on a fucking white couch. No, my ex-girlfriend's auntie's place. And I got up because we're sitting on a white couch right now, and I got up and I was like, look down. I was like, oh fuck. So I sat back into the position to think about what I've done.

Josh: I'm gonna stay the night.

Tommy: And I started trying to like, what, like rub it off with my hand, and it was just smudging it. It was, it was pretty fucking— it was a leather white couch, so It was just like blue.

Josh: It would look like, um, ink stains or something, like, like, uh, pen ink stains.

Tommy: So here's the thing, it wasn't like— it didn't look like an ink that just splattered. Yeah, it was like this, this dusting of blue over the whole fucking— the bottom bit of the couch.

Josh: Surely that would happen a lot. Like, if you're gonna have a white couch, you need to be prepared for—

Tommy: am I a dog for not saying something? Well, I felt awkward.

Josh: I'm not with her anymore, so it's If that happened, it doesn't matter, does it? If that happened at my wife's house, uh, you know, I mean, you would be also your—

Tommy: okay, I would say something, I think, now.

Josh: Fuck, as a dog as a kid, the, uh— well, so we spent the weekend moving.

Tommy: Yeah, I can tell.

Josh: As Tommy said that, he looked up at my forehead.

Tommy: Yeah, it's because you've a massive— first thing, I'm concerned that it's going to scar Yeah, because you've got— that's a fucking gash, dude. Yeah, any, any bleeding from your forehead is not good.

Josh: Yeah, and so I, um, uh, probably 4 PM yesterday, it was, uh, we're loading stuff into the van that we rented from Bunnings, and, uh, woof woof, and I looked down at my notifications on my phone. I had an Instagram notification. Someone did a cry face at a joke I made, and I smashed my head into the van door.

Tommy: So you were walking towards the van?

Josh: Yeah, and the van was open, the back door was open, and because I'd sort of reversed in to a spot, it was angled down, so it was way lower than it had to be, and it basically nearly sliced my head off.

Tommy: Uh, your girlfriend's laughing.

Josh: Well, Bree basically, like, she was like nearly crying. She was like more emotional about it than I was because I think she thought that I'd just— I'd like Just knocked myself out. It wasn't good.

Tommy: And was there a lot of blood pouring from your forehead?

Josh: It's just like, it just bubbled up like it sort of like got an egg on my head and it was bleeding a bit.

Tommy: Yeah, was it dripping down?

Josh: Yeah, I got a photo. I'll post it on Insta Stories. Geez. But I, um, I sort of did this progress photos. But, um, yeah, this was in its sort of pinnacle Was it?

Tommy: Yeah, so there's a little drip of blood going down. That's full-on, dude.

Josh: Yeah, so that was an idea, but the whole thing, just moving. Are you a good mover? If you're a good mover, you're a psychopath.

Tommy: Who are you?

Josh: Bree's dad's a good mover. Psychopath. Bree's nodding. He's very good at—

Tommy: No, no, why?

Josh: I mean, why would you want to aspire to be a good mover if Yeah, and I think Bree's dad just didn't, I think he doesn't think much of me when he, I think he thinks I'm a bit of a hashtag soy boy because—

Tommy: That was him? That was him on your YouTube channel?

Josh: No, because he was asking Bree, he's like, "Oh, do you think he's going to be able to drive the van?" True, was it stick shift? No, but I could do that, I could drive manual. Mate, I've driven in the US, I've driven all sorts of things and the van was easy. Yeah, it was fine driving it around.

Tommy: And all of them you had a soy latte in your hand.

Josh: No, but you know the annoying, the annoying thing about this move? Yeah, I've, I've, we've deconstructed why it was such a shit move.

Tommy: It was just because other moves that you've done haven't been as shit.

Josh: Yeah, well maybe, maybe you just forget. Sorry about the noise in the background if you can hear it. Bree's making her breakfast for tomorrow. That's fine, Bree, um, do what you're gonna do.

Tommy: You've been through the stress of having a soy boy look after you.

Josh: This is a late one, everyone. It's nearly 9 PM on Monday, so you'll be getting this one later in the evening than normal. But no, I realised the reason that this move was substantially more stressful and worse was because we weren't moving into another place. Ah, true.

Tommy: Well, this is why I said, as it hits you, I mean, the, the door of the fucking van did.

Josh: Yeah, so I think you're homeless. Yeah, we are home.

Tommy: You're essentially homeless. I mean, you're in a nice house now.

Josh: The best sort of homeless you could be in Richmond.

Tommy: Have you broken into this house and squatting?

Josh: They're here at 9:30, so we need to— no. Um, so yeah, yeah, the, the move. And the other thing too was we, uh, had my mate, uh, Chris helping us with moving stuff and Bri wasn't happy because on Saturday I hadn't packed everything yet. So, it was like we had people to help lift stuff, but I was literally still working out what to put into boxes.

Tommy: You're last minute Larry.

Josh: Did you, are you good at like putting things into boxes?

Tommy: Oh, fuck no.

Josh: Okay, see.

Tommy: The last move, yeah, but hang on. The last move was from, the last real big move, Actually, no, it was the last move was from Sydney to Melbourne. And you know what I did?

Josh: Chucked everything.

Tommy: No, I drove down to Melbourne. Amy sorted it out because it was like 2 weeks later.

Josh: You hear this, friend?

Tommy: We had a whole bunch of boxers hired because it was like I couldn't pack up the house because it was too much of time between when I was gone and when the, the van came. So I didn't actually help, but she— Amy's amazing at it. Bree, you're amazing at it. She's looking for validation.

Josh: Yeah, Bree was really good. This, to be, to be clear, Bree was amazing because she did her, her packing up.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And then any communal stuff she packed up. And so all I had to pack up was my stuff.

Tommy: You're meaning your computer cords?

Josh: Yeah. No screens. Do you know how many USB cables?

Tommy: So I need to bring something up. So, um You dropped over last night, you still had the Bunnings van, a shelf, a shelving unit, you'd taken it apart, it was a big beast of a thing.

Josh: Well, we had— it was a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, we bought it, um, when I sort of moved into the home office, when I decided to sublease my office, when we decided we're going to do the big move. So it was like we got a good 5 months out of it, it was a couple hundred bucks, brand new, is one of those things that holds little boxes in them for IKEA.

Tommy: Awesome. It's like, anyway, it's awesome, but you brought it over last night and it was fully taken apart, and having— I couldn't think of anything more annoying than having to put it back together.

Josh: Well, that's why we— it was so close to going hard rubbish.

Tommy: So anyway, I put it— I took the bits and pieces into Bodhi's room where I was going to put it together, and I laid it— I laid one piece down on the ground, and I've realised that I actually don't know if I can put it together in Bodhi's room because it's too small.

Josh: Well, guess what? Like, you've got it now, so it's your problem.

Tommy: I'm okay with having it, but are you okay with me selling it?

Josh: Yeah, that's fine. Just do what you want.

Tommy: So I can make money from it?

Josh: Sure. It did happen. I gave a friend a, um, a Quad Lock case.

Tommy: That, that's a dog act.

Josh: Then he said, he's like, I'm like, oh man, he's telling me, man, you gotta get on Facebook Marketplace. Like, what have you sold? It's like, oh, like Quad Lock case. I was like, okay. That's really good, the one that I gave you like 3 weeks ago. But it was, it was a used one. It was my—

Tommy: you mean he took it out of the box, had a look at it, sniffed it and put it back in?

Josh: No, but the, um, no, because he was updating his phone, he was upgrading his phone, so I gave him one he used it. Yeah, exactly. So it's better off selling it.

Tommy: Got it for free and it was something in a— something you got in brand new in a box. Yeah, I think it's slightly different.

Josh: But the, the van stuff became a bit of a— not a disaster.

Tommy: What fucking happened?

Josh: Well, the experience after it. So we ended up extending. We were going to return it back on Sunday and we—

Tommy: When did you get it? Friday?

Josh: Saturday morning.

Tommy: Saturday morning. And what are they stinging you a day for a van hire?

Josh: Once you include insurance and all that sort of thing, I think it's about $130, is it, Bray? $130? Yeah, $130 plus the extra, yeah, $10 for the extra driver. And Bray's dad was an extra driver. Just in case soy boy couldn't, couldn't work it.

Tommy: But just in case he walked into the van and he did.

Josh: No, so we, um, that was all fine. And then, um, we were— we ended up extending it an extra day, uh, so it ends up costing $200 and something bucks. And, um, there was a guy, uh, so basically I'm still a bit frazzled about this. We had to return it by 9 AM, uh, this morning. And so Bri ended up taking an annual leave day because we had to— the cleaners, uh, cancelled on us yesterday as well. So we're meant to have cleaners, and you chose the expensive— no, so this was the thing I said to— so Bri said, oh, they've cancelled on us. I'm like, well, you know what? I'm like, this is awesome because we went with the expensive ones, and that was through the real estate agent. So we can just tell the real estate agent, hey, You're fucked up because you've recommended. And Bri said, no, you told me to go for the one that was $380,000.

Tommy: Well, I can say if Bri has been listening to our podcast, we talked about this. And on our podcast, I'm pretty sure we were like, the expensive one's a good one.

Josh: Well, so this is the thing, I, what did you say?

Tommy: She said it was confirmed before we spoke about it on the podcast.

Josh: Yeah, so it just says I wasn't listening. So, um, yeah, we ended up— because what happened was the, the people called up. We'll get to the Bunnings bit in a second, but let's finish this cleaning one. The, um, they said, uh, they called us, or they texted initially and said, hey, we're gonna have to do it tomorrow because the people who are currently cleaning their place, they won't pay us now. And so we have to stay there until we get paid, which isn't a good sign.

Tommy: It's a Mexican standoff.

Josh: Yeah, but also not a good sign when someone's not wanting to pay. Anyway, so Bri just called up and said, hey, look, we need it done today. And she said, otherwise we'll have to cancel because we can't do it tomorrow. We'll have to cancel and we're going to leave you bad Google ratings. And you know what the guy said? He's like, ah, okay. And Bri said, we're gonna give you bad Google ratings. And he said, okay. And so Bree said, well, you've put us in a real difficult spot. He said, yes, I know, I'm sorry. Okay.

Tommy: Poor guy.

Josh: And so we just, we ended up—

Tommy: I like the tactic, but it really fell flat with a guy who's severely depressed.

Josh: Well, we haven't done the Google rating yet.

Tommy: No, don't do a Google rating. You can't, you can't do that.

Josh: Why not?

Tommy: The guy, I don't know, he had a level of we're fucked, we're a piece of shit company.

Josh: But I just, I feel like he was bullshitting. I feel like, anyway, but give people the benefit of the doubt because this is a whopper of a story. The, uh, uh, arrive at Bunnings, yeah, quarter to 9, Hawthorn Bunnings, 15 minutes to go, uh, yeah, beautiful. Uh, we arrive and there's a, um, a sign saying sorry about the mess. Close by stores include Collingwood and Box Hill, right? And what they were doing was they were doing renovations on their service desk area. And this is where the van rental stuff normally happens. This is where I picked it up from.

Tommy: Same place you got it?

Josh: Yes. Yeah. Okay. And so, the guy at the door, I said to him, "Hey, I'm just here to drop off a rental van." He said, "Oh, just go see." That guy over there, his name's Michael. He's just in the tools section, and Michael's sort of using a box of tools as a sort of a desk, and he's got like one of those small barcode type devices that would look like you would scan sort of to do visual merchandising or whatever. Anyway, I went up and I sort of jokingly said, "Hey, I'm just, um, I said I'm just here to return a van. Hopefully it's not too much of an issue with not having the desk." He's like, "Oh no." And he's like, and I was like, "Oh, sorry." He's like, "Oh no, there's meant to be another guy here doing it. He's not here, so I'm gonna have to look after it." I said, "Okay." He goes, "Have you got the key?" I was like, "Yep." So he grabs the key off me and just starts walking away. And you know when someone walks away, you sort of like do the follow, like the awkward sort of follow where they're going. I followed him basically to the front area And then he kept going. And so I just sort of waited there next to the door guy. I was waiting for like 5 minutes. Another person from Bunnings came up to and went to go help me, and the door guy said, "Oh no, Michael's looking after him." Okay. Anyway, so—

Tommy: I'm feeling anxious that it's almost 9 o'clock.

Josh: Yeah. So like we— So I'm waiting there patiently. I think at this point I'm like, the guy is stressed. But I'm being as nice as I can about it. I'm like not in a super rush.

Tommy: You learned from your Uber driver.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: Incident a couple of weeks ago. Exactly.

Josh: Where I'd schooled him on mindset. But no, so I am— so anyway, finally he comes back and I, um, I walk behind him and he goes over to the, um, the desk that where there's construction going on and turning on the computer.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And he's, um, he's huffing and puffing. He's sort of on the computer. This time Bree's, uh, met me, uh, and she's waiting there too. She was getting some lights. And, um, I just said to him, oh, like, is, uh, do you need my paperwork? He said, all I need from you right now is some patience.

Tommy: Oh no.

Josh: I said, okay. He said, I'm trying to, uh, I don't know where we're going to print this because we don't have a printer. I'm like, okay. So waiting. And anyway, it's getting very close, it's nearly 9 o'clock. The timing doesn't actually, the timing doesn't really play a huge part, but it gives you a sense.

Tommy: Brought it down to like the minute, I would have been on my edge.

Josh: I know, it's 8:59. No, so we are far out. So basically, no, it gets to 9 o'clock and he's still working on it and he then takes the stuff to like the form that I gave him, what's the thing, to the, cashier area. There was a lady named Sue there, and, uh, he said, Sue, we're just there to charge out the— this, uh, this, this van. And he's, um— and she starts typing things in. He goes, no, you're gonna have to— you have to itemise it. You can't just put it in a full amount.

Tommy: All right, he's micromanaging. Yeah.

Josh: And so anyway, um, he said, we're not gonna be able to— I'm gonna be back. He starts walking off. I said, do you know how— is it something that— I said, do you know how long it's gonna be? Is it something that we can just go and have it all processed with you guys while we're gone? Um, what did he say in that moment, Bri? Oh no, I can't remember. He basically— he said, no, you have to wait here. And then I said, um, I lost, lost, lost it a little bit. Because I was pissed off because of how he's speaking to Sue. And so he said, um, he goes, no, and it like, we don't have a desk right now. I said, Michael, I don't have anything to do with the desk. The only person that has a job right now here is you, and it's to provide good customer service. I'm yelling at this point, everyone's looking. I said, your job is to provide good customer service and you need to change your tone.

Tommy: What did he say?

Josh: And so, so he walks up, he goes, uh, what did he say, Bri? He said, I said, I'm not being rude. He's yelling at me back.

Tommy: We're in the store being rude, yelling, I'm not being rude, back to somebody yelling.

Josh: So then he walks off and I'm getting real fucking angry at this point.

Tommy: Yeah, it's going.

Josh: And I said, oh, we're going to be bringing this like we're going to be speaking to customer service about this. This is just not on. How I said to Sue, I said, how he spoken to you, how he spoken to me, it's not on. And I got the vibe that everyone's like, oh, that's just what Michael's like. He's just— she said, yeah, he does get stressed. He does get stressed. I said, well, it's not on. Anyway, so I ended up, um, he came back a few minutes later and he sort of, um, told Sue what to do. It was almost like everything was going through Sue now. He was standing next to me and he'd say, just get him to pay now. I'm right there, just pay pass. Anyway, so we left and then I called up Bunnings Victoria State. Oh, you did? Yeah, I spoke to Jess on the phone and explained the whole thing.

Tommy: And what did Jess have to say?

Josh: She said, oh look, we'll, she said, we're gonna speak to Michael, make sure he's okay. I was sort of like, hang on a second. See, Michael's like, no, this isn't, I'm not worried about whether Michael's okay. I want you to fire Michael. Not make sure he's okay. Maybe, maybe make sure he's okay on the way out when he's no longer there. And so I said— so after she said that, I said, oh look, uh, I've never had an experience like this in my life. This is really bad. Unless you remember the Uber driver story, which, which wasn't bad by the way. But, um, I said, can I— I would actually like a callback, um, with a resolution of what you've actually done.

Tommy: Interesting.

Josh: And she said, okay, yeah, I'll get the, um, uh, someone from the store to call you. So I got a call today, uh, like this afternoon from a guy named Raj.

Tommy: Raj, what did Raj have to say?

Josh: Raj first asked me to tell the whole storey again.

Tommy: Oh, and do you know how, like, I don't know how— I had a cup of tea and a bicky there in the lunchroom. I don't know, Michael was laughing his head off while you were on— while they were on mute.

Josh: No, sorry, the, um, so Raj gets me to tell— he said, yeah, that's not the service that, um, you know, that Hawthorn Bunnings offers. He said, look, Josh, what I want you to do is, um, next time you're in— he goes, are you local? Do you come in much? I'm like, no, I normally go to the Collingwood one. He said, well, um, next time you come in, I really hope you do come back. He said, I want you to ask for Raj. And I want to show you around Bunnings.

Tommy: Mate, I've seen your ads. Lowest prices are just the beginning.

Josh: No, well, they've changed the ad to lowest prices, that's our policy, which is— which is—

Tommy: and Michael pipes in, bull fucking shit.

Josh: That's our— and Michael's not here anymore. No, yes.

Tommy: Are you happy with that resolution?

Josh: Well, there's a part of me which is like, you know what? So one of the things I was going to say to Jess, the first person I spoke to on the phone, was I was going to say, I'm going to be coming into the store again to pick some more stuff up later, and it would be great if Michael wasn't there. Just—

Tommy: you've lost it. You get power hungry in these moments.

Josh: Just to make sure that— well, because could you imagine if, if a customer had a fight with your employee And the customer then said, hey, I'm going to be back. All hands on deck, alarms, like everyone's on standby, right? But no, so I thought maybe I take Raj up on the offer. There's part of me which is like, mate, good episode of the Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: Live from Bunnings.

Josh: Tour of Bunnings. I wonder what— but what was—

Tommy: what can you possibly do? I mean, you go around Bunnings. I've spent a lot of time in there just walking around myself. What's he gonna do, get you on a forklift?

Josh: Well, the funny thing is, when I was putting in the complaint, Bree was also annoyed that she asked a girl what 60 degrees meant on the light globes. Said 60 degrees, she didn't know what it meant, and the girl said, ah, um, what'd she say, Bree? I can Google it, is what the girl said. And Bree said, oh well, that's something I can do myself, which is fair.

Tommy: You know what? This movie has done, turned you two into real fucking assholes. Well, then you're projecting and everyone was actually really sweet at Bunnings.

Josh: Well, this is— I said to Bray, I'm like, I don't think—

Tommy: Josh was concussed. Yeah, he had 7 soy almond lattes.

Josh: Well, I was on the— I was— when I was on the phone to Jess, Bray's in the, in the background saying, tell them about the light globe, tell them about—

Tommy: I'm like, I'm just trying to bring Bunnings back up. I, uh, the video—

Josh: I'm still on the Bunnings.

Tommy: No, no, bring them back up as in lift their spirits a bit. No, fuck them. When I went to Bunnings to build the hook for the O-Bike video, the boys were getting around it and they helped me find the rope, they tied the knot for the hook, and they were impressed by the video.

Josh: Actually, do you know what, there is a guy named Andy who works at Collingwood Bunnings, long hair, dreadlocks. No, no, sort of longish, probably up to about here. Looks like a gamer, looks like he'd play a lot of games. And he used to be, he was in the Port Melbourne one a lot, apparently he was telling me, being moved from like a regional store. And what I loved about him was he had, he was saying how much like he hated it at the Collingwood one. But the funny thing was he had all these badges Yeah, you know, like the pins, and they were all like awarded for different things. I'm like, oh man, they got so many, it looks sick. He's like, yeah, the manager gets real pissed off when I wear them all, so I wear them every day. So, um, so Andy is a— from Collingwood— is a legend. Michael having a— having a bad day.

Tommy: Oh fuck, it might have just been one day.

Josh: Yeah, and I was empathetic, like I was empathetic initially. I was like, like you know, having a smile, all that sort of thing. But I just, uh, I got over it at the end. Yeah, I've also, um, we've got Archie the dog. What's— Breeza, what's wrong? Oh, he was also— Bree wants me to mention that she was— he was— Michael was also rude to Bree on the phone. And when we— when she extended the extra day, he couldn't work out how to not charge for the extra driver. So, he ended up charging the extra $10. But look, Bree's getting a bit pedantic, but I don't think it necessarily matters.

Tommy: Yeah, the facial expressions are priceless that are coming from Bree as you say these kind, kind words.

Josh: You can see a dog. We've got a dog.

Tommy: There's a bit of dog making noise. You know what, being in a house like this has a vibe. When I walked in, it made me think of a party that I went to when I was 15. I was— I went to a private school, so the kids that went to the school all grew up in affluent areas. And this one house party in a nice suburb of Albert Park in Melbourne, um, we went to it, and sure enough, it was a girl who was looking after a family friend's house, and we had to go through the drawers next to the bed. We just wanted to have a look through the cupboards and stuff. Just seeing what— seeing what was about.

Josh: Yeah, well, you can't do that, but go on.

Tommy: We open up the door, the, um, the bedside tables, and we found these condoms that were so small. They were like miniature condoms. They were like probably half— not even half of a small condom that you could buy. Well, this is what we were convinced of this dude just had a small dick. And then, then we found— no, they weren't water balloons, they were condoms. We took them out, out of the packet. They were like literally the size of your little finger.

Josh: Yeah, it's a joke. It's a joke.

Tommy: You reckon it was a joke?

Josh: Yeah. Did you ever find out?

Tommy: We never found out, but we ended up finding a matchbox full of weed, and we took the weed. So naughty. We stole this guy's weed, and we ended up having to give— we had to buy weed and give it back to them because we took it and smoked it to replace the weed. We had to replace the weed. And so when I walked into this house, it like kind of smelt a bit like the house. It just brought back memories. At the time I found the dude with small dicks condoms and a packet of a thing of weed. The dog's going mad.

Josh: Ah, she's making a lot of noise. Yeah, no, so we're— part of the deal with the house sitting is the babysitting of the dog.

Tommy: Yeah, it's a big job. Taking a dog is a big fucking job.

Josh: Yeah, well, it's, um, can I just say, we've told each other we're gonna swear less on this episode.

Tommy: Yeah, did I?

Josh: Yeah, you've said fuck so many times. That's okay, it doesn't matter. Um, it's really funny, Hamish on, um, the Batuta Advocate podcast.

Tommy: Hamish Blake.

Josh: Hamish Blake. Yeah, on the latest one. And he says cunt, you know, and he feels like it's a bit of a setup because they were dropping the C-bomb a bunch before the show, and then in the show he just sort of came out and then he's like, it wasn't really a thing. He felt the sting of saying it without the right—

Tommy: well, he's a guy who's on commercial radio, can't say any swear word. Shit's even a bit taboo for them. Yeah, in the drive time slot.

Josh: It's outrageous.

Tommy: Well, you wouldn't ever say, oh shit. Yeah, wow, that's awesome.

Josh: Um, yeah, but, uh, no, so I've been, uh, looking after the dog. Some of the quirks of the dog, um, it shits. How annoying is shitting, mate?

Tommy: It's a, it's a Labrador that's got a lot of hair around the ass region.

Josh: We don't have to wipe the dog's ass.

Tommy: Nah, but that's what happens, dude. You've never had a dog that's hairy, have you?

Josh: No.

Tommy: Far out, I've had a dog that big before.

Josh: What, like as a pet?

Tommy: Yeah, and the thing fucking used to eat plastic bags.

Josh: Oh no.

Tommy: You had to pull them out its ass.

Josh: Oh no. So, it actually happened with my old dog when I was a kid, it ate balloons, it was all colourful.

Tommy: That was you?

Josh: No, but the, um, do you know what the most disgusting thing was? Like, so I've had to pick up his shit.

Tommy: And it would have been on the footpath, right?

Josh: Yeah. So we started off, our first iteration was we had a, um, a poop scoop type thing and a bag. And then when he shit— well, the first time he shit, we didn't have anything because we didn't— wasn't— weren't expecting it because we're idiots. So Bree had to walk back and I stayed with Archie protecting this, protecting— yeah, just sort of like circling the shit so no one stood on— like, sort of, I felt like one of those like lollipop people just being like, slow down, yeah, just pass. So anyway, um, imagine if Michael walked past, just step out of the way. Exactly. Hey mate, right through, right through, come on, right through, just close your eyes while you do it. Yeah, you'll be fine. Um, and so yeah, the problem was that using the scoop, it was just like there was this one last bit I just couldn't get. So I'm like pushing it just further and further along the ground. I was like, you know what, if I was a celebrity and I was getting paparazzi right now You'd be so degrading.

Tommy: So true. I reckon there probably is an aversion to taking a dog for a walk if you're a celeb. Yeah, because you don't want it shitting and having an awkward photo. It's nothing awkward, there's nothing wrong with it, but when you've got 70 cameras— Nah, but there's something—

Josh: I did feel like it really put me in my place.

Tommy: Cleaning up dog shit.

Josh: Yeah, just like, okay, yeah, I'm not like too good for— I'm doing this. And so the next time around I decided Because once the shit happened, we had a shitty shovel, like a little shovel thing, and we're going to get coffee. So we're like, we can't just— we can't get rid of the bag if the shitty shovel's in the bag. So we, we ended up— I ended up finding a little sort of garden bed and just put the shovel in that, hid that.

Tommy: That's a good move.

Josh: So that worked out well. But the next time I decided I'll just use a bag and do the old inverse, treat it like a glove and pick it up. And Oh, it is the most revolting feeling because it's hot. No, but it's the temperature. It's come out of a dog's body.

Tommy: I know, I know, I've done it. I can picture it.

Josh: Like, if they could come up with a dog that didn't shit— because the thing is, I love Archie. It's— I'm having so much fun. But just that idea that I don't want to take him out because, like, what I've been trying to encourage him to do is shit on the front lawn, like inside the premises.

Tommy: It's an old dog, mate. You can't teach it new tricks.

Josh: You do realise that, don't you? Well, I've been trying. So we got told that Archie's got anxiety, right?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so he doesn't like— we're near sort of Swan Street, not too far in Richmond, not too far from there, but he doesn't like the main streets. I was like, oh, surely this can't be that bad. So we're walking along, I'm on Lennox Street in Richmond, about 100 metres from Swan and he just stops.

Tommy: He's done, doesn't want to go.

Josh: Come on, Archie, come on. No, like, I'm pulling him, I'm trying to pull him and he wasn't going. So anyway, we— I ended up just walking back the other way. That was fine, but I wanted to go on Swan Street, so I end up going down to the next side street. And on that side street, he was walking along and we'd gone to Swan. The problem was he was like pulling me so hard and I was just trying to act calm and just hold it, but he was choking himself. So it started off like, you know, when the dogs like run, it's like fine at the beginning, it's like, but at this point he's like, and like I'm going past a cafe of all these people drinking their lattes and I've just got like Archie like trying as hard as he can to hurt himself in front of these guys. And so I look like this asshole. So never again, never Swan Street, never again.

Tommy: It's so funny, the thought of dogs' shit and I like cringe, but then, you know, the amount of times I've got shit on my finger from Bodhi, but it doesn't seem as bad. No, I know it seems as bad to you.

Josh: It is.

Tommy: But for any parent out there, it is. You just have this whole thing. I mean, not everyone would experience this, but your own kids' shit is completely, It's like your own. Don't tell me you haven't got to be a shit in your hand once or twice in your life.

Josh: Absolutely.

Tommy: Your face was saying no.

Josh: It's disgusting. These poor people listening to this. Any thoughts on the Friday's episode?

Tommy: Oh yeah, it was a good conversation.

Josh: Have any like, uh, Michelle has sent us a bunch of reading on unconscious bias.

Tommy: Yeah, that link, I fucking was meant to send something send her email back. The link that she sent didn't work.

Josh: It's because I think the last little bit didn't work. You just need to copy and paste.

Tommy: No, I connected that up and it just wouldn't work. I don't know. Anyway, interesting concepts around— interesting, um, discussion around unconscious bias.

Josh: And the, uh, the Thinker Girls, who, uh, we spoke about on Friday, that day came out with an article on Mamma Mia talking all about, um Women Radio. And so very topical, and it was. And the, uh, the radio, uh, blogs are all writing about it and the same commenters are getting involved.

Tommy: Yes. So it's, um, but yeah, have a listen and let us know.

Josh: Yeah, it was a— I always feel weird after those ones. It feels always a bit clunky, but I feel like they're good to have those conversations.

Tommy: What don't you— what, what feels clunky?

Josh: Well, it's like, uh, it feels like these ideas that we're still developing as people, and, uh, we're cementing them through the form of audio. So people will come back, uh, in a year's time. It's like me saying soy boy. People will say, oh, that's eventually going to become some real taboo thing, and we're going to have said it every—

Tommy: you know, put it to good use before it gets—

Josh: yeah, until then.

Tommy: Taken by the PC. Yeah, I think, um, yeah, they are, they are clunky, but that you are cementing your thoughts exactly what you said. It's— but it takes, it takes a conversation and challenge and saying even something that you then later look back on and say, that's not maybe what I totally think now, but you had to say it. It's like learning. Everyone learns differently. You learn by stuffing up, or you learn by committing to the wave and falling off and getting back up. So it's like a similar thing to conversation. I think people are pretty scared to have conversations now in a platform like a podcast or a recorded space because it— they're saying it cements it, but if your mind can change and you can, you can think—

Josh: people develop so much. Yeah, I listen to a podcast that that I hadn't listened to in a couple of years. They were so shit before. It was sort of an amateur person who was, you know, in a specific industry that was creating a podcast for their industry. And it was so like, they just weren't good talent. And I listened to them this week and they sounded so good. They were interesting.

Tommy: This is a new podcast that they—

Josh: No, so yeah, so they had this podcast for, they'd done like over 100 episodes of a podcast. And I listened to some of the early day ones, maybe episode 50 or whatever, just picked it up again, just like, oh, I can't believe they're still doing this thing. They were so shit at it. And I listened and I'm like, they were like flawless. That's so good. Um, I won't say who it was because I just shitcanned them at the beginning, but it gave me—

Tommy: you can totally say, because if you shitcan them at the start, they're probably confident.

Josh: No, because I'm sure I'm going I'm sure I was there on the sidelines about like, this is great. So I was a lying asshole at the time. But no, it's sounding, so I think that the key is that it is timing, like just continuing to do things, you get better and better.

Tommy: Even at having clunky conversations or even at having opinions and forming them.

Josh: Having those clunky conversations means that we get better about with other conversations.

Tommy: I mean, the trick about talking about unconscious bias is you're talking about something that's unconscious. Yeah, so you can think you're thinking that you know, yeah, but it's very conscious, so you probably don't fucking know. It's very confusing, but the topic is good to open your eyes to. Yeah, even if you've got no idea.

Josh: Uh, tease for upcoming episodes confirmed. Um, the voiceover artist in London I was telling you about, I had him voice some stuff for me a couple of years ago, and he's, uh, he does stuff like games, films, TV, radio. It's his like full-time shtick.

Tommy: What excited me about him was that he can do a shitload of accents.

Josh: Yeah, he can do like 100 accents.

Tommy: I'm fucking terrible at accents.

Josh: Yeah, well, this guy does it for, for a job. So yeah, we'll, uh, we'll have him in the next few days. It's the Daily Talk Show, everyone. Please send us your emails. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com and also on iTunes. If you're listening on iTunes, I think it's like 80% of people who listen to us listen through the iOS podcast app, so it's that purple icon. If you're clicking on the purple icon, you're one of the unique people who can leave a review and it has an impact on people finding us. And so, if you click on The Daily Talk Show and write a review, that would be much appreciated. Uh, we also have our website thedailytalkshow.com, which actually has all past episodes too, if you want something, uh, alternative to, to listen on.

Tommy: One last thing, yeah, podcasts that you guys should listen to. Russia, If You're Listening, it's by an Aussie guy. Yeah, Aussie dude. It's short, they're like 10-15 minute bits, and it's all looking into how Russia, and if Russia did tamper with the US election.

Josh: And what have you gotten out of it so far? People got to listen.

Tommy: So the first one, they were looking at Trump. Second one, they're looking at America's relationship with Putin. So fucking fascinating.

Josh: Yeah, actually, shout out to Osher Ginsberg's podcast. He's smashing it, over 200 eps. And the latest step, he's got Todd Sampson from Gruen.

Tommy: Oh yeah, we're on your tail, Osher. We're nearly at 100, bro. So lift your game.

Josh: Today's talk show, everyone. Thanks for listening. Have a good one.