Fireworks from Bali

Josh: It is the Daily Talk Show. Tommy, welcome.

Tommy: When you read anything out, you start by doing this voice. Where did it come from? It's like you've basically channelled—

Josh: I haven't read anything just now.

Tommy: No, no, no, but I'm saying like that voice you just did is like when you read things out to me, it's like this alter ego Josh. If Josh was really less of a loose cannon.

Josh: I just bumped my mic. I, uh, are our levels too high? Nah, fuck it, it's fine. Yeah, no, I do do that voice.

Tommy: What's it— where is it? Who is it?

Josh: We're episode 30, just quickly. Fuck yeah! Yeah boy, it's a Monday. Yes. And, um, we're recording this one a little bit later tonight.

Tommy: We forgot to do the pleasantries. Is that why you're getting away from me?

Josh: I just thought—

Tommy: just thought I'd do it.

Josh: So yeah, no, you were just talking about my— the voice that I put on. I'm actually sick at the moment, if you can't tell. Yeah, sympathies.

Tommy: I'm waiting for my fucking answer. Okay, you either don't want to answer it.

Josh: This was the first time that I decided, you know what, I'm going to try I'd not talk and see what happened.

Tommy: No, the thing about not talking is when someone asks you a question, that's probably the time that you do talk.

Josh: Okay, ask the question again.

Tommy: Where— who is that voice? Who is that, Josh? It's a fun— it's not fucking serious. I know it's you, but just—

Josh: okay, it's like, who are you being?

Tommy: Fucking the anchorman? Are you being—

Josh: no, it's my voiceover voice. Do you know, here's something fun. If you're on your computer right now, Google joshjanson space voice123, and I've got my own profile page where I'm a voiceover artist.

Tommy: Can we slice in with the—

Josh: I'll just do a live. Can I just do one live?

Tommy: That—

Josh: because I remember it.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Every year, hundreds of Year 12 students, um, I can't remember. Yeah, I like that.

Tommy: I like that.

Josh: As part of the annual VCE Season of Excellence. I like that.

Tommy: I could imagine that on a, on a, on something. Yeah, yeah, on something like you're in a big auditorium and there's like, yeah, there was an ad. I like it.

Josh: I used to, because when I was bad at that, when I was doing like, it was a bit of a way of making a bit of extra cashola, right? Because a client would want a video and at the beginning I was getting chumps to do the VO's and I'm like, mate, I could, I do VO's for client videos as well.

Tommy: Because it's like we can make iterations as much as we want if we've got the microphone.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: It can be annoying, but that's actually good. That started as a bit of a fucking stop being a tosser to—

Josh: Oh, I like that.

Tommy: That's a good voice.

Josh: I do do it a lot. Like, if I see something, any billboards, like if I'm going on a road trip, it's a bit of a thing where I'll just read out random things. So, I'm just trying to look around at things that we have. We've really got nothing other than freshly ground coffee. 7-Eleven. Hit me with your best shot. It's 7-Eleven coffee. My name's Josh. That's a bit of the vibe, but people don't want that.

Tommy: Like, I'm drinking a 7-Eleven coffee. I've got to tell you, this is not thievery. Actually, you can be the judge of that. It's— I've got a $1 size coffee. And what do I drink normally?

Josh: Long black.

Tommy: Yeah, so I fucked up. I pressed short black because it's like there's the $1 button, and then straight after the $1 button is— if you press that same button, it just gives you a short black. Okay, so I hit it and it squirted out its short black, short black, and I, um, I pulled out halfway through, so it gave me a shot of coffee. Look at me, deviant. It gave me a shot, and then I was like, fuck, well, I can't have just a half a short black. It's pretty much nothing. It's like a little shot of coffee. And so I pressed again, which means I should probably have paid $2. I pressed a latte, and so it shot out some milk, a little bit of— and then a shot of coffee. And then I took it away just before it filled it. Mate, this is the best fucking coffee. This is— I'm off my face.

Josh: Is 2 short blacks, 1 long black?

Tommy: Ah, no, because it's double shot.

Josh: A short black is a double shot?

Tommy: No, a short black is just a single shot. A long black is a single shot with more water.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: And so, this is a double shot, 3/4. This is like my normal coffee that I drink. You are a bad boy. It actually tastes a lot better than I thought.

Josh: Are you a good sleeper?

Tommy: Yeah, but I'm working late tonight, so I wanted to, um, I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But yeah, I usually don't drink coffee this late. It's fuck, what is it, 8 PM?

Josh: Yeah. I wanted to talk a few things about being sick, for one.

Tommy: Sure.

Josh: Some people get really funny about being around sick people.

Tommy: I did think that for me. But, and so, it's never been, I've never made it an issue.

Josh: But I've made jokes in front of people where I'm like, haha, I don't think I'm contagious. Yeah. And they don't fucking like laugh. It's like, this is serious business.

Tommy: Yeah, it's people's paranoia. Oh, I don't want to get sick. You know what? I see people in the city walking around with those masks on. I'm thinking, what the fuck do they know that we don't?

Josh: If— And are they sick or are they trying not to get sick?

Tommy: I don't know. Like, the chance of me getting sick from you is pretty fucking low.

Josh: Yeah, I understand if you're going through like chemo or something and you've like fucking your white blood cells or whatever all fucked.

Tommy: Immune system's super low.

Josh: Yeah, then of course you're gonna—

Tommy: Oh, can I just tell you a story?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So fucking embarrassing. I was at a coffee shop having coffee with my mate Craig Harper. I'll drop his name.

Josh: Yep. And Harps.

Tommy: Harps, how are ya? One of his mates walked up to the table and I just put out my hand, shake his hand, and he shook it. And then he walked off after the exchange with Craig. And Craig said to me, yeah, you probably shouldn't have shook his hand. The guy was being nice. He was going through some serious chemo. He was blind.

Josh: Oh.

Tommy: You can see like just to, you know, sort of like, I guess it'd be like colours going on in front of him, like not a lot. And the kind guy shook my fucking hand and was so nice. And then I look over to him and he's got his hand sanitizer out because he's trying to wipe off any germs. Like, I get it, but it was like, I was like, I didn't feel awkward at the time, but then I was like, fuck, I didn't read that one at all.

Josh: I had something the other day where I'd played table tennis with someone and I had just the previous game had done a bit of a good game to the guy or whatever, shook his hand. And then I was playing table tennis with the next person who was a girl. And then for whatever reason, I was just like, I wasn't going to do the whole good game thing. And I was like, oh no, I should like, I should just be treating everyone equal. So, I went to shake her hand, good game. And as she did it, she went for like a fist bump. But for whatever reason, I had some sort of tweak in my brain where I didn't just react and fist bump. I just didn't shake her fist, but I was just like, kept my hand out there waiting for her to open it until she said, "Oh, fist bump, fist bump." And everyone sort of like laughed. It was like, "Oh, a bit awkward." And so there's people watching this. Yeah. So, I don't know whether she's a germaphobe, whether like It could have been anything. She might not have like, um, like fingers and stuff. Like, it could have been that.

Tommy: She might not have had fingers.

Josh: 100%. Like, what do you mean? Well, you know, like some people have, um, like hand things, like where you don't have all your fingers or things like that.

Tommy: Fuck, is that where you took it? She probably has hands.

Josh: Yeah, but that can sometimes happen. It's like trying to shake someone's hand.

Tommy: Maybe she just muscled you out in that fucking standoff of—

Josh: Is it because of selfies? It felt like it was as embarrassing for her as it was for me. Okay.

Tommy: But— And no one around you said anything?

Josh: No, no.

Tommy: They just laughed.

Josh: Nah, everyone just laughed.

Tommy: For the fact that they laughed, I don't think if she had no fingers, they wouldn't be laughing at the situation, right?

Josh: If you were hanging out with them all the time, if you didn't have a hand or something.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And someone went for the, like, there would be a desire to make fun of it, to make everyone feel comfortable.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah, I get it.

Josh: I feel like I would want to lead. I think that if I had something like that, I would be constantly leading. Like, I lead with my fucking toe thumb, and that's not much of a—

Tommy: I know this guy who's got his— one of his fingers, it's half gone. And I met him, and he's a good friend of Tommy Day, my mate. And he— I said somehow, I don't know, I think we might have been drunk and I may have said something, but he, but he was like, he's super friendly dude. So it's like, I think you feel like you're in a moment where you could ask something. Yeah, and he told me that he stuck his finger through a fence and a dog took it. Oh, it's bullshit. Oh, because then I heard him again tell me that he put his finger in one of those old spin bikes that had the blades.

Josh: Oh, he just—

Tommy: he uses it as gear. Obviously something happened when he was young, but he, he's not fussed about it, so he just makes up a new storey every single time.

Josh: I've got a big, um, dimple. I'll try and show you. Hang on, maybe it's going to require me to have I'll take my top off. Give me a second. Hang on.

Tommy: I'll walk them through it.

Josh: Try and describe it without being offensive, please.

Tommy: Headphones are off.

Josh: Man boobs.

Tommy: All right, his top's going out. Holy shit, he's hairy. Oh yeah, yeah, I've got, I've got like these, uh, but hang on, stand up straight. No, don't, don't fucking make me feel— oh yeah, okay, when you stand up straight and pull your shoulders back, it looks like you've had a shoulder reco. It looks like you've got a pin It almost looks like you've got a nail in each one of your shoulders. Is it on both arms? Both shoulders?

Josh: Yeah, sort of, I think.

Tommy: So, I mean, it just, yeah, it's literally a dimple, but it's in a bizarre spot because it's at like the back of your shoulder.

Josh: It's almost like where it connects, right?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But my mum has it too. But the funny thing was that when I was a kid, I used to tell everyone, I don't know why I would say this, but I'd say that I got stabbed in Bali. Like, no joke, as like a 10-year-old, that was like my gear.

Tommy: Had Michelle Corby— what's her name?

Josh: Chappelle Corby. No, none of that happened. There wouldn't have been the terrorist attack then. This was like pre-all of that shit, so it wasn't as insensitive.

Tommy: So no, but no, I didn't mean it as insensitive, but I thought you could have been leveraging.

Josh: I think I just— I don't know, I think I saw Bali as a bit of a foreign place. We'd been there.

Tommy: Where did you craft the storey at all? Where was it?

Josh: I can't remember.

Tommy: It happened in Kuta, didn't it?

Josh: Yeah, would have.

Tommy: I was buying fireworks.

Josh: I was buying a slingshot.

Tommy: I was buying—

Josh: Fuck. Let's talk about you and Bali.

Tommy: Yeah, what happened to me and Bali?

Josh: The shit that you brought back.

Tommy: Oh, yes. So, 10 kilos of the most pure— No, I'm just kidding. No, we went there. I was grade 6. No, like age 7 or 8. My grandma had passed away and we got an inheritance and we all went to Bali.

Josh: Fuck, that's what happened with us. Gran died. Do you think that's like the final hurrah for a lot of people?

Tommy: It's like, grandma passed away and we got the cash.

Josh: How much of Indonesia, like, uh, their tourism is based on family grandparents and the trip? Because fuck, I remember that exact same thing. I'm sure mum said that Gran That was what, uh, anyway, so it was nice.

Tommy: We all— it was like a family holiday. It's probably— it was probably the last family holiday we went on.

Josh: Yeah. Describe what you— what was the experience like? What do you remember of it?

Tommy: Oh, we went parasailing, which is like going behind a jet boat with a fucking parachute.

Josh: Did you go from the beach?

Tommy: Yeah, but dude, it's like I was too young. As in, I think it would have been fine, um, but seeing photos of it, it's like Fuck, I was a tiny little pipsqueak. I got my hair braided.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Did you get that?

Josh: Yeah. I don't think I did. They called me funny boy, like in the markets. Funny boy? Every time we'd go out, like, we'd be, "Ah, funny boy!" Because I remember I would like, because I had blonde hair, blue eyes, and I was just a bit fucking outrageous.

Tommy: That's awesome.

Josh: And I even, I remember I bought a harmonica. I was just fucking playing the harmonica all the time.

Tommy: I got a ring stuck on my finger, and I remember this dude with a big long thumbnail. Yeah, was trying to get it off. Yeah, and he was like digging in, and I was scared. I remember buying— and I pestered my mum and dad to buy me these things that were like, they came in like these little— it almost looked like a toothpaste cylinder, like a tiny little toothpaste cylinder, and you broke them over open And they were this goo that was like red or blue or green, and it stunk like chemicals.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And you'd get it out and you'd roll it up into a ball and you put this little, little straw into it and you'd blow into it and it'll make these huge bubbles. And they were like, it would be like a bubble gum balloon, but they stay like in the shape of a balloon. And so we'd launch those off the balcony. We also bought I bought a rifle BB gun.

Josh: I so wanted to do that shit, but Mum was like—

Tommy: Mum wouldn't leave?

Josh: No, I tried to get a laser and then I finally convinced them, Mum and Dad, to do it. And the guy said $1 and we're like, amazing. Like, you know, their current— Like, it was actually— They said a dollar. Well, not, not, um, like, what's—

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, not baht.

Josh: What is fucking Indonesian rupiah?

Tommy: Repair. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, $1. Turns out they wanted $1 US and we're like, look, we'll give you $2 Australian because that would work out. Like, nah, it has to be $1 US.

Tommy: Because you can pay with US currency.

Josh: Yeah. So, Dad would—

Tommy: Dad cracked it.

Josh: So, we didn't get it.

Tommy: And so, I got the shotgun, you know, the rifle that you put these little green pellets into, and I was just popping shit off the balcony, just being a bad little kid. And the security at the hotel Thought I had a real gun. Fuck. Like this shit, I went, I went back and I couldn't see all this kind of stuff anymore. It's probably tightened up. But what we got with my brothers is fireworks. We got like Goonleys and Skyrockets.

Josh: And you brought them back to Australia?

Tommy: We put them into not our boogie board bag, we put them into our surfboard bag.

Josh: So dangerous.

Tommy: We put the Skyrockets I took my rifle back and it was a plastic rifle.

Josh: But it all got through?

Tommy: All got through.

Josh: Checked bag, obviously.

Tommy: Yeah, checked surf bag. It just never got opened. Crazy.

Josh: This is the '90s.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely. Um, so it's much more lax. Yeah, I remember a guy at the gym telling me that he brought a gun back from Asia and the way he did it was he took apart the gun in heaps of pieces and he put any strapped stuff to his video camera that was in his bag because he thought it was like something around. He was like, oh, if it goes through, they'll just see it as pieces of the camera. Yeah, and it worked.

Josh: But why does the guy from the gym need a gun?

Tommy: I guess he doesn't. He wasn't even a badass dude. He was like just curious. You know, Campton, my mate, he brought back fucking serious BB guns.

Josh: Fuck.

Tommy: From, uh, he brought back a machine gun BB gun.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And these aren't like—

Josh: What I love is like we're using Campton as his like nickname, as a code name. It's his fucking surname.

Tommy: But we were young, so this is the time where you could bring back metal BB guns that got through security.

Josh: I remember we were travelling with someone who brought back a laser and got caught with that. As carry-on. I guess it fucking stood out.

Tommy: And what, they had to hand it in?

Josh: Yeah. I'm sure that they— Have you had any issue? What's the— Have you had any issues through security?

Tommy: Nah. Oh, okay. Amy, my wife, has a New Zealand passport. She was born in New Zealand.

Josh: I didn't know that.

Tommy: She's not from New Zealand technically because she was born there.

Josh: Yeah, she is.

Tommy: Her mum and dad are from Australia. For some fucking reason.

Josh: Let's go to fucking Auckland. Oh, cheap flights.

Tommy: Oh, but yeah, 8 months. No, they're still cheap.

Josh: Oh, you'll be fine.

Tommy: Yeah, so they went over for some church conference or something like that. No, I'm serious. Yeah, it's for some church thing, and it was at the time Amy was going to be born.

Josh: You wouldn't be able to do that nowadays. You'd need a letter.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, because why? They wouldn't want you in the country to have a baby, like No way. And so anyway, she was born there and she's still got her fucking New Zealand passport.

Josh: And an Australian one, obviously.

Tommy: No, it's cheaper to own— it's cheaper to just get a New Zealand passport than it is an Australian. And I've been banging on, please just get your Australian one, please.

Josh: What does Bodhi Boy get?

Tommy: He's got an Australian. He was born here. And so she's a citizen of Australia, but she has a New Zealand passport. Complicated. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, really.

Tommy: So, I was always like, get it fucking— get the Australian passport. We're going through immigration maybe 4 months ago, 3 months ago, when we went back to New Zealand and flying in, she filled out the card and basically she filled it out like she was an Australian citizen, which she is. But then when they see your card that says you're Australian citizen and your New Zealand passport, we got pulled aside.

Josh: Yeah, because you normally have to, I think, like within the US, If you're a dual citizen, you have to still go in and out of the country on your US.

Tommy: Ah, yeah.

Josh: Because what— Or specifically in the country, I know, because for instance, if you commit a crime and you've gone on the other passport, you could potentially just fucking leave.

Tommy: True. And so, the issue is with immigration.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You are basically granted— So, Amy's an Australian citizen, but has this New Zealand passport, which means she needs to be granted a visa when she enters the country. It's some fucking weird— Yeah. It's a stupid thing.

Josh: It's dumb. I've gotten obsessed before about passports. I applied for my— I did the green card lottery. Did you ever do that?

Tommy: No, I couldn't because I didn't finish school.

Josh: Oh, really?

Tommy: Oh, fuck. It's supposedly on there that you—

Josh: And your criminal record, probably.

Tommy: No, no criminal record.

Josh: I love that they ask like, have you been involved in terrorist activity or espionage or whatever the fuck they call it?

Tommy: Espionage. Espionage.

Josh: Esplanade. They're the beauties. Oh mate, do you want to go down and walk on along the esplanade? What is that word? What is that word that I'm just saying?

Tommy: Esplanade.

Josh: Esplanade. Thank you. But, um, no, I did—

Tommy: You're obsessed with passports.

Josh: Oh yeah, I've been— I just, uh, there's this book called Emergency, which is by Neil Strauss, who wrote The Game, and it's all about, uh, billionaires I think they call it the B-Club or some shit.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And how they all have these fucking, um, you know, different passports so they can like doomsday prepping stuff, shit hits the fan, as a way of like reducing tax.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: I mean, that was always the funny thing about me when I was younger. I think I've told you this before, that I used to just— I remember I would like be worried about Like, I would try and not make too much money because I was worried about like my tax bill. It's such a— the wrong way of doing business. Yeah. And it was also like, I was so like— I'm sure that year I'd made like $18 grand, like I wouldn't have been paying zero tax bracket, if not the lowest tax bracket possible. I'm sure I probably would have been eligible for some sort of Centrelink thing. Um, fuck, yeah, the, uh, yeah, but the passports, I was— there's so much online about it, especially with all this digital nomad shit. So, what's the point of it?

Tommy: I didn't get it.

Josh: So, the point is that you can, um, it's talking about what citizen— like, different citizenships, different passports, and how it can affect, like, the tax that you pay, for instance. So, some of them, there's, there's two main ways of doing it. I think it's like, uh, there's like location-based tax and then there's like citizen— like, basically, long storey short, in the US they've changed their laws recently. So if you, if you make money outside of the US and you're living somewhere else, you still have to like declare all this stuff and it's still a big hassle.

Tommy: Do you pay tax to the American—

Josh: The IRS. Yeah, I believe so. So, sometimes there's treaties, right, where it's like Australia has an agreement, so it's like a little bit easier. But it's not like if you're paying tax to another country, so if you're Australian, my understanding is if you're paying tax in another country because you're working there or all that sort of thing, you don't have to pay tax in Australia. Yeah. The US is different in the sense of even you could be working somewhere else. And so, a lot of these people who are not dodging tax, but optimising tax or whatever.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: They're getting rid of their, like I know people who have gotten rid of their US passport because it would equal double tax. A fuck tonne, like millions of dollars in, like if you've got a huge business, you could be up for a lot of money in tax.

Tommy: Fuck. So, snakey. It's like the people that, live on, what's that island?

Josh: Well, there's the—

Tommy: Is it Monaco that you can, is a low tax?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So, look at all the tennis stars. There's a lot of tennis players that live in certain areas. I think it's, it could be Djokovic.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Lives in a place where you don't have to pay much tax. And so, they're there for 3 months of the year, which classifies as them being a citizen or makes them eligible. And so then they're training there, which is they've got to do it somewhere, and then they go on the circuit for the rest of the year. It's fucking genius, man.

Josh: It is sort of fun just to fuck around and learn about this stuff. So one of the things that the US has done is—

Tommy: some people, it's probably so boring.

Josh: No, probably like Bree fucking hates. She's like, are we watching this boring fucking dude? He's a real fucking weird unit, just travels all around, always in like Southeast Asia, probably a sex tourist talking about tax. I'm not going to say his name now because I've just accused him of sex tourism.

Tommy: No, but you have been like, you said we'd known about him.

Josh: No, this is—

Tommy: A guy you've been watching.

Josh: Yeah, he's Nomad Capitalist, is his handle. He's actually a fine dude, but he writes all about this sort of stuff. He's got a place in Malaysia. He talks about reducing— Can I just make it very clear that last thing was a joke?

Tommy: Now that I've said who it is, I don't want someone Just when you notice that Josh starts going everywhere with his words, he's thinking about what he said one minute before and then somehow talking, but also thinking about, how can I get out of this fucking hole that I'm in?

Josh: It's very hard when you've already said it. But no, he— one of the interesting things about this, the tax stuff within the US, if you own— sorry, if you owe the IRS $50,000 or more, which if you've got a decent size, like if you've got a business. Yeah. That's not like a hard thing to do. They can stop you leaving the country.

Tommy: Yeah. So, same with Australia.

Josh: It's not all the— It's— I believe that the US have much stronger rules around it.

Tommy: So, in Australia they can ground you for not paying child support.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: How fucking good is that?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: All the scumbags that don't give their kid cash.

Josh: Yeah, makes sense.

Tommy: They can literally— so there's like an amount. If you haven't been paying for a certain time, you're not getting on the flight. And so I read some stat recently about how much gets paid at the airport. Yeah, like there's dudes that just drop $30K. They literally will pay the $30,000 there and then.

Josh: Is that fucked that they had that money?

Tommy: That's my point. Fuckin' assholes.

Josh: Yeah, it's like those people, like, you would think that, okay, if someone's not paying child support that they're low on cash and doing it really tough. And, but the idea that you're some rich fucker and not paying for your kid.

Tommy: But you said they can do it for tax too. Yeah. Because it will flag, it's flagged on the, some, on some system. Dude, the tax, my mate, went into his bank account and there was $3,500 missing and he sees this fucking line on it. It's like tax department. They had gone in and taken out money.

Josh: Crazy.

Tommy: Didn't even touch it. Like he didn't pay anyone.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: He had an overdue or something was not paid and then they have the power to go in and fucking rip it out.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Well, it's like the, uh, Scientology.

Josh: No, I love the connection.

Tommy: So they're tax exempt from the IRS, have made them tax exempt, which means they're a, uh, like a charity, a religion.

Josh: A religion. Yeah.

Tommy: But I was listening to David Miscavige. I think that's the guy who's the head of David Miscavige. Yeah, yeah, he's the head of the, um, Scientology at the moment. He spearheaded the, uh, move to have them tax exempt. Yeah, and I heard the way they did it— I'm watching my words because I probably don't want to get killed by the Scientologists.

Josh: I actually remember this was in Going Clear, I believe, the documentary.

Tommy: Yeah, and so they, they brought litigation to the IRS. Yeah, basically hundreds and hundreds of lawsuits. Yeah, that meant that the IRS, which are— and the tax department in Australia, they're like fucking unlimited funding. Yeah, they had to pull the pin on fighting against these guys to get tax exemption, and they, they did it.

Josh: Scientology have a crazy amount of real estate. I was filming in Los Angeles, and they, uh, where we were filming, we're filming at SoulPancake, which is Rainn Wilson's, um, like YouTube channel. And, uh, they, uh, Scientology was across the road, and they did not like us even just filming like a block away. Fuckin' the security guards go, they're on bikes and shit, they go up and down. And the weird thing is that like the cafes and shit around there are all like owned by Scientologists.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: So you got to be a bit fuckin' on your guard.

Tommy: Fuck, it's like, oh, is that one on, um, Santa Monica or—

Josh: The one that I saw was, it's like this really big blue.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I know, it's got the big little horn at the front.

Josh: Yeah. And that's the one that's like really close to, um, to, uh, yeah, so, you know, there's one for in Moonee Ponds.

Tommy: Yeah, it's on so, uh, Flemington Road, and it looks like, it's kind of like, it looks like a new age church, not like, yeah, um, it's not like a churchy church, it's sort of like a building, it looks like it could be a council or something. Well, it could, and it's just got a few churchy looking things, and then it's got the big Church of Scientology.

Josh: Really quickly before we go, because we've only got a few mins, Yeah, I've got to get to a, um, Scientology session. I want to know, closest you've ever gotten to being religious?

Tommy: I told you on another episode.

Josh: Tell me.

Tommy: I grew up with a mum who—

Josh: oh yeah, sure—

Tommy: she went to a nunnery school.

Josh: Like, did you ever do that independently though? Have you ever sort of gone on your own path where it's like you're 18 and before you know it you're in a youth group and you're fucking—

Tommy: nah, but my wife went to Bible college. And what does that mean, by the way? So it's like college, but they have an emphasis on studying religion. And so there's a lot more subjects that are around religion, which there wouldn't be if you were going to—

Josh: was it a college? Was it actually university or not?

Tommy: Yeah, she lived just off campus. Like, you can live on campus, I think.

Josh: What was she studying?

Tommy: Oh, I think, I think music. Fuck, I don't know. She's been a couple of times, not to that, but to uni.

Josh: You should know what she's fucking studying. Not that that's like a prerequisite for getting married.

Tommy: Yeah, I think it was music. But anyway, but my point is, I feel like when there are some times that it's like I have that mindset of like, uh, it's like nice to— like praying, yeah, is essentially reflecting on something and being grateful and all these things. So I take those elements, but then I went to like, we should go to Hillsong up in Sydney if we're ever there. We should go here. And like, I, I'm not one that— I'm not a Hillsong person, if— I don't know what they're called, a person that goes to church. Hillsongians. But it's so fascinating going, just people with hands in the air. I feel like that's how it starts though, man, you know.

Josh: It's like, man, you should just go. It'll be sort of—

Tommy: no, I think you're too— I think you're too— yeah, I don't think you'd ever turn into someone that goes to church on a regular basis.

Josh: I don't think that there's any problem with it.

Tommy: No, but I think what I would love to go with you about is you're so fucking observant, and I do that, and I did the same when I went there. It's like, whoa.

Josh: And they also speak Christianese, which is like, you know, that's what the Christians talk about, like their own fucking—

Tommy: Speaking in tongues?

Josh: Well, no, their own fucking language for things, right? Like you'll say, rather than just saying, oh, I feel like I was meant to do this, it'll be like, oh, this is my calling.

Tommy: There's a lot of that. I didn't know it was Christianese.

Josh: Yeah, Christianese.

Tommy: There's talking in tongues as well. Yeah, do you know about that?

Josh: Oh mate, I would be so good at that.

Tommy: I think we've had this conversation about talking in tongues.

Josh: No, but well, that I think I could do a good jump for one. But also I feel like if I was to get into the Hillsong thing, yeah, I could be fucking big. I could like really get into it. I mean, I can't play an instrument, that's probably a problem. I feel like I could— I wonder if I could say, look, I'll be part of the religion, but you've gotta— I've gotta be a pastor from day one. Like, I'm not fucking— I'm not— I've got to be on stage. Yeah, I could be an MC, could do all that.

Tommy: I was, I was hanging out with, at that wedding in New Zealand, they were saying, yeah, the pastor of Hillsong in Newcastle. So it's like a massive church and he's like, oh yeah, going back tomorrow, I gotta, gotta think, I got a, um, session on I was like, oh fuck, how many people do you get? He's like, oh, you know, 1,000, 1,500 on a Sunday night.

Josh: Yeah, it's crazy.

Tommy: Like, it's, it's like a stadium. It's, it's full on and it's so, it's so interesting. I think you'll like it. Yeah, if you fucking don't even give a shit about it.

Josh: Well, I've done all the Baha'i stuff, like my friends that are Baha'i, I actually enjoyed. I've gone to do some cool shit where it's like in Chicago going to like one of their churches and getting cool access and shit.

Tommy: Um, it's it being open-minded to that stuff. Not saying you need to actually convert or anything.

Josh: No, it's just about learning, right? I'm just—

Tommy: the world is fucking fascinating.

Josh: Yeah, you want to learn about that sort of shit. It's like me going to Pakistan and going to mosques and seeing all of that shit.

Tommy: It's—

Josh: yeah, it's super cool. But, um, I was speaking to, uh, someone who has done Hillsong and done a couple of the other ones. They said Hillsong they thought it was a bit cliquey and you sort of go there to be seen, which is so funny for like a religion.

Tommy: Is it?

Josh: And now he goes to Planet Shakers, which he's saying is a little bit more laid back.

Tommy: Yeah, I can't— I don't know about the cliquey. Like, I think it's— that's everyone there knows each other, right? And it's like there is a— there seems like this love, but it's like you could imagine how that quickly turns into maybe people talking behind your backs if they're not liking each other just because they're going to church. It doesn't mean they're not going to talk behind each other's backs. I could imagine it happening. It's like any close group of people.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: People start fucking, I don't like—

Josh: And then you got the rules as well, right? So, they're all like, ah, Josh, that squeegee story, that wasn't very fucking—

Tommy: Josh, this podcast.

Josh: Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: It's, yeah, you should probably can it. And we're about to right now.

Josh: The Daily Talk Show, everyone. We do have an email address. It is hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Currently, those emails just go to me, but I'm going to sort that out so we can both be in there. And if you would like to send us any actual physical mail, it's PO Box 400, Abbotsford, Victoria 3067. The funny thing about me being sick is I feel wheezy for the first time and I'm really talking into the mic. So, if you hear that, I apologise.

Tommy: We'll catch you tomorrow.

Josh: Bye.