#029 – Splitting the bill/

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It is the daily talk show, TJ Episode 29. Yeah, boy. Yeah. Nearly 30. This is. Thanks for sticking in. If you've listened, if you've been listening the whole segment in

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all right, and three daily, actually, I was making jokes before Josh presented me with this cute is this? Is it a toy? from your childhood? Yeah. So just showed me this toy. And he said, my body might love this. And he opened it. And it's like a basically looks like a recorder. But like different pieces. So you can put things in it to music. It's a musical instrument. Yeah. And my responses. Have you put that out? You're asked her if you haven't listened.

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Who said

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why do we remember the F? Is that what you said it? Yeah. And then I now know it's Episode 14. So I go back and check that one out now, but that's good. Yeah, that was early days that was made as a kid. I went to the office before coming here to do this podcast. Pick up a lot for you.

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There's a reason I had to pick have a lot because you're borrowing my light. Yeah, thank you. Because someone lint your light, which is the same one reason why New Orleans? So I lent someone Yeah, my wife. Yes. So this is a classic case of you learn something out tonight. Yeah. And then I can give it back to you for ages. But it's,

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it's it's one of those things where I now it's my doing. It's that boy you're doing? What's the expectation? I should have? said I. So the learning is yes. It's not their fault at all. Like, and the thing is, I want it like it was because that I care about him. And I want him to do stuff. So I'm like, he borrow this thing. I like I'll just need it back on Wednesday or something. But we'll work it out. My problem was I went to soft on that. I should have been really specific and said, Can you get it to me by this day? Yeah. And then might have the thing

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Look, I don't want to. I don't want to drill into the person who hasn't been giving back the thing that they borrowed from you. But it's it's an interesting one. It's like these these like social contracts. Yeah, that are in place that are written but you just know, right? When you borrow something for me, it's pretty clear cut. Yeah. So if I borrow something of you, I'll do what I need to get it back to you. Because in the thing outside of me, once I've used it is an inconvenience for you. Right? So I feel like I'm fucking I'll go out of my way to get it back to you. But the thing that I always check my cell phone is am I like, fucking talking too loud?

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The

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it's that I clearly haven't properly communicated ever. That's nice. Because when you borrow something from somebody, it's it's not yours to have. Yeah, and if

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they're not you, like the hand is Hey, know that maybe maybe I wasn't clear in maybe he thought I like I can have for a month like I have. I didn't elevate the importance of needing it back enough. Yeah,

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I still think so. You suggested to this person that they borrow it. Yeah,

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I pushed it.

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Okay. So I was I used to enjoy

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something is using it. It's good. He's probably I think he's probably still using right so i

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it just makes me think I say this is the situation has got its nuances. Ron so it sounds like you've been a bit of a policy and have it fucking I just haven't liked but I borrowed your lens. Yeah. And I used it and got it back to you. Yeah.

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100% but I think it's um, yeah,

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so I hope I had a message from a night and it was like last November so Dude, I am I'm off to the races. I just checked my watch shirt. It's fact I'm leaving 30 minutes Can you help me out so I went into my cabin and I found this sure that I wore on my wedding day it's like a Christmas white shirt Tyler teammates backing cities girlfriend were like Amy's dress so I said dude you got one can pick it up he's like I'll be there in five I was going to an engagement party two weeks ago that's February 2018. Yeah and I thought fuck may have Where is that shirt I had not even thought about it because I hadn't need it so I hadn't thought about it until February which is like three months after the fact and he takes him to sit I dude I am

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just wondering if you got that white shirt that I lent you I'm not sure did I ever get that back off you honestly didn't know yeah so confused and he said factor do do I've had a dry clean didn't it's here so he just forgotten to give it back to me

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yeah but he had it dry cleaned there and I feel like it's there's so many but I feel like I've been on the other end where you just

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hit on the other end many time well just having someone

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know you having someone's things or whatever for what it for whatever reason it has he hasn't gone full circle yet. You haven't given it back

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Yeah, but

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there was a books are big one. And I like the well that's a long at a time thing. Yeah.

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Like it could take you a year to rate of fucking book you may be you but

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you have having okay. I'm just looking right now. There's 100 books here. Yeah, probably. Have you legitimately read every one of those? Because I know you're a big fucking you've got creative Inc. in hard copy there. And I've listened to the audiobook inaudible from you. Yeah. So did you read that? I got that as a gift. Okay. Yeah,

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but no, probably half of the books like the thing is probably only

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less than probably 10% of the books that I have he I've actually read that specific copy so like otherwise I've ended up getting the Kindle or all gold and other than that they're all doorstop. Exactly but you know I definitely want to I just I feel like books this awesome commitment to education or the beginning do something it's like

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the cell is affecting g membership the white guy there again I do I do. Thank you.

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I I do read them but I just do just not always like what winds up happening is I'll buy a book because I'm like out somewhere or like Amazon's got this like they've just released it now buy it off. I just knocked the mic and then I'll get to a point where I'm like, like I really just want to fucking write it and I don't have the time to be carrying this book around and I'll listen to the audio book but no, I think it is books or a funny one but I know I remember I lent a book to a guy my old PE t 2012 maybe may 2011 yeah I haven't got it back yet for our body that Tim Ferriss his book and it was the version before he cut out all of the

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breathing exercise he had to cut out a bunch of stuff using underwater like holding your breath because a bunch of people like passing out and shoot for our bodies like a it's almost like a life hack for your body yeah

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and

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what people would do so it won't appeal and dying but they will fuck there were underwater going like unconscious and then yeah let's just being prescribed some in totally listen to it. But that's the thing that you know have we're talking about the Adderall yesterday. Yes, I was continue. You're listening to that podcast after we did ours and then just halfway through, like, near the end they're talking about at are always like, Oh, I don't take that anymore because it was giving me a bit of anxiety. So I switched to blah, blah. I might be fighting kidding me. This guy is talking, like pumping up at like, how it just changed his life and all that sort of thing. Just admit, for most of the podcast, the fact that it was fucking giving him anxiety, and he went off it. It's like,

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that's so bullshit. I reckon. Friends, it's just back to the borrowing thing. I think there's like, if, if you can't send a text going, Hey, fuck with it. Give me my life back. It's like, Yeah. Do you learn stuff? Because I know you could call me and have a hard conversation today? No, I

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think. But I think also,

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I don't know. I think there's also other like, we all have empathy for people. Like, I know that, okay, this person might be going through stuff, or things like that you just like contextualizing the whole thing, and empathizing and realizing that in these situations. You can get fucking angry about shit. Or you can be like this, but I just know that's like, like, if someone's not bringing it back. I care about them. I'd like I know their personality. They're not being fucking malicious. Li Li there's just been a miss. It's like, I haven't communicated properly. So what I think that I get out of it. And there's a fucking phrase that make damn was talking about max Joseph talks about it in one of in that

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video where he's talking about dicks. Like, has impacted

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on it. Yeah. Do you need to be deemed to be a director? Yeah.

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And it was like, I forgot what it was called. It's like the SEC. It's not stubborn. But something like the stubborn giver. It's like, I'm going to give you something, but it's on my terms. That's what I'm really bad at. When I give something to someone I I'm trying to make the transaction is like fluid and just as easy as possible. Whereas what you should probably do, and we've actually spoken about this about when we gave our fucking free bit of furniture away from from my career on trade. What a nightmare. Yeah, you just need to, you need to set expectations. Yeah,

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there is a ripple effect, though, of like, say, for instance, you didn't get this light back. Yeah, you've now got me out of you. Put me out twice. Well,

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I think that the My thing is that you went on like, I know that I have and will continue to do that for you. Right. So it's like, Okay, well, I think in my head, I kind of given Tommy my lens a bunch of times. Yeah, yeah. And, but this isn't even, I don't even think about that transactional a right. It's not like, but it feels like it's like these moments where you're under the pump with something and I'll jump in and like sort that should ask, and it's, you know, vice versa. So it's

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okay. It's been sitting room. Oh, you said it put putting being more specific around what what is Mac say? Yes. I can't remember the exact words

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before you say it's just that stubborn give up. It sounds like I'm going to give you this thing. But it's gonna be under my term. So what this might mean is, so many times I've lent things to people, and then I end up picking it up. So probably a rule of engagement is if you are borrowing something, you return it to me. Yeah,

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that's for how do you learn these things? So for Well, yeah,

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well, I think about taking someone out for coffee, and the amount of people that wouldn't pay. I've heard stories of a friend of mine who got taken out who went out of his way to have a coffee with this dude to get this one guy wanted advice. Yeah. And then the dude basically didn't pay the bill. My mate pilot. Yeah, there's this weird thing. And so I feel like for me, I've been brought up thinking, Okay, if you're putting someone out, you gotta do you gotta put in effort for that. Yeah,

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offer them and I think I'm a shocker at

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not wanting to inconvenience people not wanting to

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and it's also it's actually probably more selfish than I would want to believe. Like, it's for instance, I feel uncomfortable sometimes when someone's paying for something I caught up with someone the other day and I just said I'll get the coffee's Yeah. And then he said, I actually got one before you arrived. Because he was working there before. So you guys all get it.

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I just said, Uh, thanks for that. Which just gave me severe fucking anxiety. And so I'm, I don't know if I have told you about this on the podcast. But even Persian culture, they have this thing called tear off. So tear off is this sort of interaction that you'll have with people. My main Nissan is Persian, and he does this a lot, right? And it's the game of Imagine you're at a restaurant and the bill arrives. It is the banter around like, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we have this we have, like, it's that back and forth, and grabbing the going up with the card and all of that sort of shit. That is something that is expected. And so if someone says, I'll pay the bill, you cannot like even if they eventually end up paying the bill. There needs to be this back and forth. Really? Yeah, and it's a game yeah, like a dance. Yeah. And nice on tells a story of

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one of he's Persian friends, like, Oh, this is older, like older people from Spain, like the 70s or something, just after

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the

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Islamic Revolution in Iran. So basically, people who were in minorities, so they behind by religion, but a bunch of other minorities as well, we're getting persecuted. So people, basically one day they were like living and doing all this stuff. And the next day, if you were living there, you would fucking you're in trouble. So anyway, a lot of people moved to different parts of the world, us there's a huge amount like this over a million Persians in like California, a huge, like, migrants. Yeah, and you'll see, just like, how we have things like Thai or shit like that

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rest shopping centers, and ship would just have Persian places. But anyway, he tells the story of a couple who moved to the US and there was a, they were going to these the neighbors to introduce themselves. And the neighbor said to the Persian guys that I love your leather jacket.

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And

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the Persian guy says, Ah, he have it have the jacket, and he's doing it in tariff he's never meant to get like, and he the guy fucking took this

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guy wasn't,

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he wasn't,

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it was a America, right? It's American neighbor. So that was, that's a lesson in these things that like we can what you're talking about, and this is why I have no issue with my mate. Nothing like we all have these languages and different terms that we work on. And most but I think that coming from a place where people generally especially in mind, I'm being fucking malicious and they were even just like, maybe not, I even think about like, I think about the shit that I put myself on day in regards to pull planning Hmm, of course, that's going to have like friends I'm sure I apply that different like to I should have for saying so this is what should have happened this is my self reflection going on. I was in Sydney on a shoot I had this other shoot locked in today which I'm about to go to and I've known about this shoot for a week if I'd given it any sort of planning I would have thought I need a lot I need to do all that sort of thing

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so that is the it's the so in my head there was a few solutions I had I'm like okay I can either drive to my mate in the morning and get it in can't contact them in the morning I can contact you so it is um yeah I guess there's a point where it starts affecting your will great greater than I think it's always just being in a position where these things can't affect you as this podcast I was listening to there was one interesting thing the guy was talking about which was you know we're talking talked about honesty and stuff and

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he was saying how we got the squeegee stories actually said 14 or radical honesty it's gold

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and the fracking this yeah this guy was saying how what like these sort of honesty does right people trust you more and what sort of thing but he was also saying what it does to your social status and what it's like so someone who is really sure of themselves someone who has the field like has that social status is just going to say shit right? Yeah, they'll sit like they'll say things that might other people might perceive as embarrassing or whatever it is and it's sort of like a bit of a funky word like I don't really care yeah that's a really powerful place to be and I think that extension on to that is I am I think that if you going to have a coffee with someone and like it's taken me I reckon I've racked up a bill with a mate where I've probably spent like over the course of like three months I would have spent maybe $250 on food for them Riley it's just an and I just realized that and it wasn't until I hit that took like it took 250 bucks before I was like Actually you know what like I don't I never get

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a yearly basis the fucking version dude and you end and you're winning the terror terror off

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yet terrify like it. Yeah, I mean, it's uh. Yeah I think that some everyone is just thinks a little bit differently. Right. And that's the other thing. Like, I think that everyone rationalizes little things in their head. So you think about and that's why even when I'm like, with like, friends who are really wealthy and really well off, I never I make a fucking effort to there is no expectation that they should be paying for shit. I think that people are fucking vultures. And they like people just expect that, you know, like I you know, I know for me, I've got friends who they will, if they going on a holiday, they'll go on a holiday. And they still do the sort of family holiday things. And it's expected that mom and dad you know, and the 30 and mom and dad will get the bill and they're going to get everyone's fly. They can look after them. And fucking amazing if you're in a position in a family where that's a thing. And you're able to do it. And I'm sure if I can, where you're from that. Like, there's probably a lot of people that are that are like that because there's a bunch of fucking coin. But I don't think that that's a good place or a good expectation to have and what I like to think sometimes it's to my own detriment, but it's like it's things like coffees and shit like that. I know that shit will come around. I know that like worst case scenario, if I buy you a coffee. So if I buy you a coffee 100 times a year without any expectation of anything else, and it's $5 a coffee is only 500 bucks I would Bray has to rein me in on like if I say gift if I say something if I saw something was 500 bucks that I thought back in Tommy would lose these mind at this attacking by it. Like I'm not someone who does birthday. I'm not like a

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birthday gift type of thing. know someone who would be very disappointed in you go barefoot investor factor. But

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you know what? I think there's no stop. Probably not though. Because the thing that barefoot talks about what paper talks about is the fact that this isn't about going to a fucking house party and not bringing a bottle of wine. So it's about prioritizing so you just bring five for it

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to bring when they ask you not to bring a good sponsor?

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No, but the thing is the

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to me. Yes. This is how I rationalize it seems right. Don't spend money on booze. Yes, don't spend money on like so many of these things. And one of the things that like I prioritize is not having the friction that when I'm going out to dinner or something that is going to be a back in, you know, an issue with like, splitting bills. How are you splitting bills? I I'm fine. It. So this is where it comes into an issue for you. And you've got a call. Because if they if you're not having alcohol, and the table has six people. Yeah. And

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five of them have drank alcohol, which will equate for 40% of the bill. Yeah. Then you forced by half. I always like to just make make sure it's even. Yeah,

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well, I think that what I do is I gauge what everyone else will do. Unfortunately, when everyone's been packing, drinking. They're a bit tweaked. And the fact that they don't think

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it's not top of mind to them do it was my birthday place called amigos Mexican restaurant. We had not just a laugh, but not so who was it was like 15 people want to be my 22nd birthday. And we went around the table splitting the bill and I was in charge of it. fucking annoying. I'd never take this role on now. I avoided like the plague. Yeah, of trying to work out how much getting cash counting it. I was. It was like, 300 bucks. short

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piece. Idiots. Yeah. And I ended up just having to pay it. Yeah,

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for some reason. It's like, maybe it's it hasn't happened. scenes. Maybe it's because it was fucking pissed off about it. Or you. You had a friend who was bridesmaid though. going overseas. And also what happened? What happened. This was a the

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there was something about the bridesmaids, I remember. And there was a splitting of a cost associated with the hands hands event. Ah, do you think this

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I just remember. I just remember there being this.

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I remember we're having a similar conversation. So

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it was it was

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a hinge party that wasn't attended by some of the bridal party. Yeah, but then the organizer of the hands party asked the people who didn't go to the party too cheap. And it was based on how much I can spend on booze and shit. Like, yeah, so it's totally I think it's the same back to that social say. It's like if you're even if you're a bridesmaid. Yeah. And you can't make the hints party. Yeah, one of the other Brides, my is organizing Hispanic, you don't have to pay. Yeah, because you didn't go. Yeah, it's pretty clear. Yeah. And so there was some nice community people throwing out there, and just like it's snowboard. But if you weren't one to sort of go, Hey, hey,

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what's behind, right? It's the expectation thing, right? So the assumption with that is that if that would happen, that when things are reversed, or stuff like that, like it can be the opposite, where it's like someone who was actually really generous. Yeah, we

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do. Because it's like you. I think you've been on the receiving end of stuff that's made you unhappy. I know, you can look at you can go big picture stuff. And like, I'll come back. But what about the person who doesn't have the money? Yeah. And then is, is frightened to say something because it makes them super uncomfortable. And, you know, that uncomfortable feeling all too well? Yeah. But

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I think that this The other thing that I find interesting, is it some

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where people guy like, what people prioritize. I remember, like, you know, four years ago, like, when up, you know, I would rely on credit cards quite heavily, right, and

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people would Bolin Yeah.

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And people would say, but people would say like, Yeah,

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but the thing is, people would be so tight with stuff, right? And I and maybe that's why if I can had credit card debt, and I feel like I found and in between now where I like, still splurge do stuff, but I live within my means. But the thing that would piss me off is, it's people who would say, I just can't afford it. I can't do it. Yeah, well, that's it. That's like, Well, come on Phuket. You've got like, you've got a huge amount of cash in the bank. But the thing is, you can't like everyone is everyone is on their different journey is a prioritizing. This is the this is

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actually a machine talking. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. It I'm just saying you don't want to be known as a tight ass and that's what you do. You definitely don't want to be none. I'm saying like I that's what I'm gauging Well, no, I think it's um.

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Yeah I mean because I think the psycho ology of it is fucking detrimental to growth. If you're always thinking about those, like little small transactions, how can you go into the How can you seal big fat off jobs? I think that there's a balance, right? But the thing is, like talking about that people's context, you spend a fact and on daycare every single day, right? actually have no option. Yeah. And so that's, that's the consideration as well, right? I don't have that cost. So everyone's playing within their own realm. Now, I'm fucking annoyed. I've spoken so much. Well, I

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see you saying so. You, you said it before. I don't buy alcohol. But there is probably the the similar spending in your life. That is that alcohol thing? Yeah, absolutely. Food going out for dinner a bit more. Because you not Yeah, we started Uber, like, Uber Eats everybody, either, either. or.

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But like, we actually don't do it as much. Like just actually eating out is probably the big one. And even money just makes people funny. Yeah, it's a,

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it's a stressful thing for people like the thought of not having money is fucking paralyzing.

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I think that

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I agree. And I think that everyone has their version of worst case scenario. But one thing that I find interesting is, I know lots of people who are Penny pinchers and that they might have a bunch of cash in the bank but they're not like living an aspirational life like in my in my version of it. And I think that they are almost like folk like the thing is that you accumulate money for watch like what is the end game and I think and part of it is the practicality and that's like even like not having kids for us he's like it's a little bit practical it's like okay we're still figuring all this stuff out but us not having kids right now means that we can be doing all of these sort of things that it's

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like putting yourself it's like that I don't want to get into it talking about the gym now there's a level of pain putting yourself through yeah and it's for some reward at the end but it's there's no like one there's no peak point where you standing there and you done forever and the same with money right yeah you're putting yourself through some uncomfortable times to have the money for a mortgage which could be one mindset the mindset is I'm going to make enough and put myself through the pain anyway and have a fucking great lifestyle yeah and some people are paralyzed by the thought of having that million dollar mortgage and so they that's not the right place for them to be but then there's some dude who it could be you know who has this big mortgage makes money is sort of pushing it stretching yourself but it's like that's the place where you kind of feeling happy and it's on that in that case off that you're in and James My mother was talking to him about the Barefoot investors principles around you know he's got one that talks about being a postcode Paavo which is the person who has a house in Brighton. That's mortgage to the eyeballs. Yeah, and there are payments adjusted adjust being made from their wage because they have kids, etc. So they're actually at a really dangerous place. We're if they're fucking job full through the done. Yeah, the house is gone. Everything's gone. But James, my mate was saying that he understands that principle. But then for some people, it's like, you need to stretch yourself. So when you apply that million dollar mortgage, you will make it happen. Yeah, if you get the $500,000 mortgage, that's a lot easier. You make that happen, too. So it's like this stretching game where you put your three selves into situations and you adapt to them Elon Musk, right,

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he saw pipe out for like, Yeah, he was worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

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It was not long after that, that he would have to stay at friend's apartment because he was so highly leveraged with all of these other businesses. You think putting everything into things like Tesla, he literally didn't have the coin to be able to. But like you're talking like, hundreds of millions of dollars. So you think about that. And so I think that there's always like, yes, we can play safe game and this Yeah, this I think there's good debt

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and bad debt as well, right? There's good like this stuff that's going to move you forward. And then there's just fucking way so it's like, mindless. And I think the danger is, there's a lot of people who don't, that aren't equipped for doing the million dollar stretch and things of that that of feeling like they might be doing it, they should do it when in reality, it's just not the thing and that's it. Okay. And so I fact I don't know which one I am, I stretch myself a lot. And I have a You and I have a more similar mindset of like, let's make it happen. Yeah. Like our, our confidence in our hustle in our hustle and we feel like will actually make something of something at some point. I think that it's

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sort of a closing note, I think that the thing that helps is realizing like, okay, what's the worst case scenario and for me, most of the time, the worst case scenario is like becoming an employee somewhere and just taking it a good salary and doing that. But I think the other thing too is it's not about accumulating things for me it's about

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experiences and I know that's it sounds cliche, but I think what we've determined is maybe it's a mix of discipline so there's a discipline layer and then there's a priority ization life so it's about making, putting a priority list in what is important to you. And then once you have that list, then you can start making decisions. So for an example is I remember I sort of created a list which was my values and one of them was like creating over consuming this was a few years ago when I was working in inviter. And so from a financial point of view, I would say I'm not going to waste money on buying a new fracking flash TV or stuff that could could I could consume. I'm only I'm not going to buy an iPhone for the new screen. I'm buying it for the new fracking camera. Obviously, that's just like justifying purchase when I want but I think that that is the

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aligning your values with what you're buying is important. Yeah.

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So if you It's like the the house the What is it? The Australian dream of the American Dream buying hand? Yeah,

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the problem is, if you it's not UK, or you don't think about that as being a priority, because pretty rich people don't who rent Yeah, but also and it's a calculated decision. But they've probably thought it allowed saying, Well, if we just rent we only pay you know, 30 grand a year for this place. A house the mortgage. Yeah, we might get some back at the end of it. But we don't want that tied down to that. So we have all this cash. And so I mean, that works for some but it totally I mean, you got to live somewhere. And you gotta you gotta also think about what you're what you're aiming for. You've got to think about with body going to school. Where is it like a roof over his head? or that sort of thing? It changes. That's right. You're saying your travel experiences is easy thing. Yeah, it completely changes when you have kids. Yeah, breaking bad. It's an internal thought. Or you're getting it down on paper. Yeah, to actually make sense of this shit. It's hard though. I find goal setting hard. I find being honest with myself in that way without being crippled by my you know, dialogue lizard Brian saying, Now, you probably can't do it all that's a bit much or you probably couldn't make that much money super hard. And so it's not an easy process to go through and work it out, work out exactly what you want. But I think the other thing too, is when people decide to be frugal, or whatever it is, it's about shifting the mind from I have to do this. It's the same with food. To be honest, it's not this thing of like, it's changing the language from

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men have to fucking do this job. Because I'm paying this thing. And I've got all these bills and so forth. And a fucking eat this salad at fucking tastes like shit. And also think too,

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I'm fucking saving money. I'm doing this thing because I'm buying that my dream house. And this is what it's going to take. And it's like the salad stuff. It's like, this is gonna make me feel better. This is like, this is going to nourish me. And it's like, the other thing too, which really helped me was it was saying, you know, I used to say our, if someone if I was dieting or something,

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I would say I can't have like something like, I can't have that where it's like, I don't want that. It's a very different mindset. And so

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I think because I'm dieting means you'd wanted if you weren't dying. Yeah.

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And so it sigh and so it's being very careful around language. I've just spent the last fucking week with really sort of in tune yoga risk people specifically the the person that I filmed yesterday and the thing that I took out of it he is the language that I use like it was like working with the agency I'm working with their like, it can be a bit cynical and shit sounds really funny when they a mile this talent.

36:03
And like the person would say to someone are, how are you and a person like from the agency, which is like, Oh, yeah, good. How are you going? And the person said, back empowered. That was there. And yeah, and it's like

36:20
my initial thought when key. Yeah, the second thought is, you just hope that the words coming out of their mouth, or what they're writing is aligned with the words and talks in their mind, right, because it's faking it till you make it make it with words. You know, it's like, I've heard someone talking about

36:41
responding when someone says, How are you? Yeah, good. Thanks. It's like, that's triggered response. It's mainly how you say, because you don't want to get into how you feel. Yeah, but it was like, try out actually saying how you feel. So even if you're like, I'm not actually feeling that great. today. I've had anxiety this morning. It's like back. Yeah, that opens up this world. That's honest. And so yeah, it's

37:04
and it's that thing to have. Okay. So how, if you're feeling something in a certain way?

37:12
Do you respond? And do do your actions need to be that or can you have a different action, which changes your mood? Yeah, I think that that's like, super fucking powerful, right? So it's that whole thing of like, if you're all like, fucking tense, and then you have some fat head cut you off at the airport, like, you know, knocking to or something like that, in that moment. Do you respond with fracking being kick front kick to the head back in the stone wall kick, dude? Or do you do a bit of a Yeah, like, hitting on. This is actually my moment of practice. This is my man to be like, it's fine. And to be honest, I think where it starts is, you start off with the sarcastic time a bit of a smile, like, have a great day,

38:00
and then it slowly becomes just this ship doesn't affect I think it's pulling it back a liar is like actually thinking about that. So when you're tired from work and thinking about you, it's like, you need to be more present with Fuck, I'm feeling sheet house. Yeah, I just want to punch something. Yeah, but it's like, I know that I'm feeling she'd asked because I'm tired. And I want to punch somebody because that like it's this fucking dance in your mind. Fight. Hey, do you feel seems we're talking about feelings? Do you feel uncomfortable? If your friend who borrowed the light listens to this podcast?

38:36
Now, you know, I mean, I the the the only reason I would feel uncomfortable was boo. He'll be like JJ et In fact, and really communicate it. And to be clear, very, very apologetic. Yeah, he was like, Man, I'm so sorry. It's like, I do my works down here. If you get your life back delivered to you don't he doesn't know that. I've got to shoot today. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And it is a part of that it is that like, we need to vocalize and say these things. It's like, even on the shoot, I had, like, one conversation. Like, where I'm like, these roles, like these specific people, they could be doing stuff differently. And then brace like, Oh, you should just let them know. And I had this conversation. I could feel like my chest hurt it as like, you know, when you sort of you trying to talk and breathe at the same time. And it's just like, it's all a bit hard because, you know, it's just like, it's change. It's a shift in your body. Yeah, but I had this really hard conversation. But I was honest, I'm like, you know what, I actually like, I sound like a come. I'm saying, if I was like, Hi, the best thing that you can do for me today, this is what I had is that if I felt in the moment, like a fucking idiot, by Mike, I just need hands and stuff. Like, if you can just make sure that like, we've got food and that, like, everyone's got coffees, and we're on time and we're doing that. And the person was fucking amazing. He like, took it was like, of course, and then it's like, and then you're rolling. And everyone feels great. And she's like, you need to be you need to give people expectations so they can either so they can work towards it. It's like having a middleman, middle manager. And if you've got a manager and they don't give you any direction they're real fucking blahs. I about shit. You're always uncomfortable. Like, am I doing the right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or Yeah, it's having tough conversations and feel liberated after day 100%. And even yesterday, I know like talking about that whole fucking triggered thing doing out and this like, this is going really triggered by you, your girlfriend telling you that you talk about being triggered all the time. And he just said then talking about that triggered things I know, we haven't been talking about the trigger thinking about she was she was talking about the projection. But very quickly, I wanted to call is triggered I want to get your thoughts on this. Because this is going super fast meta. And and we can have these conversations because we're so close yesterday when we had the technical issues. And you probably could sense that, like, I was just fucking like, getting annoyed. And the interesting thing was, you know, we had technical stuff, and you will try. I was frustrated and not being able to be there to be able to fix a technical issue that you're having on the podcast we're talking about on the podcast. But the interesting thing was like, I even caught myself saying it. I'm like, this is where it all stems from. I said, you know, this is how you feel about my fitness stuff, right? You remember that? Yeah, I thought what the fuck is, is can tell you that you get it, right. So, like, if we, if we really deconstruct it, it was like, I realize that my fitness stuff, all of those sort of things aren't perfectly in line. I'm like, I'm a fucking, I'm a little bit broken, in that we're going up, even fucking broken. I'm not fucking that isn't my strength. Right? And I think of it in that that podcast, I think that what it did was, it was honing in on that weakness, without the empathy of like, fact we like it wasn't, it's okay, that we don't like, have everything fucking doubt in and it's not about getting upset. It's like realizing that, fuck it. There's a mental struggle there. And so for me, it's interesting because that lack of empathy on that one, I think came out in May. And my lack of empathy with the, with the tech with the tech stuff because I was just like, so I think that that's a it's an interesting observation. I caught myself like, I'm, I've got this I didn't catch myself. I cut myself off because I realized in that moment I bike Actually you know what, I can choose to be a little realized that we're both back and playing this same fucking game and trying to work this out. I mean, how do you feel about that stuff? I don't know what connection that had to what we're talking about. Yeah,

42:54
I don't either. Haha, it's Friday, everyone. 42 minutes. You said you only wanted to talk for 30 years. I gotta get I gotta get back to the office. I'm annoyed that how long Captain if you think I spoke too much for this episode, you can go fuck yourself. Because I'm looking at the waveform right now and is very uneven. But I've just had some dark chocolate for some caffeine. That's my excuse. And also Tommy felt a bit loose. I felt like you're you made me nervous about talking about my mate that and so I felt like I had to fake it and just just make sure if I can rein it in. I gotta get their life back to Josh plays the daily talk show everyone feel free to actually don't feel free to leave us a fucking review. Yeah, he's a shit because I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're just now if you if you're listening, just play and if you if you are enjoying it

43:45
again for fraud. Exactly. Have a good one.

43:48
Bye.