A chill Friday night

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show, episode 24, and it's Friday.

Josh: It's a fun one. I'm drinking a cider. I could be a bit tweaked because you were tweaked the other day on coffee. Yeah, I've had how many beers? 1, 2, 3.

Tommy: Is cider beer?

Josh: Uh, no, but I've had a few beers.

Tommy: When?

Josh: Earlier today.

Tommy: Why? Like, I guess that's fine.

Josh: I was catching up with my mate. We went— I took him to a pub and it was a great establishment and there was some cold beer on tap.

Tommy: It's 8, uh, it's 8:45 PM on a Friday night. This is the latest we've ever done it, I think.

Josh: Is it? It's nice that we're sitting in my lounge room and we just put little Bodhi boy, my 1-year-old, to bed and he went straight to sleep. What a little weapon.

Tommy: Yeah, I didn't even think about that. That was pretty impressive. Um, I was talking to you about a new segment, though, our first very first segment that we're ever going to do.

Josh: I think it's a result of us being shit cunts.

Tommy: Yeah, basically. It is called, um, we can say it in unison, but I'll, I'll say hashtag close the loop.

Josh: See, we stuffed that up. I thought it was closing the loop.

Tommy: Close the loop.

Josh: Close the loop. Hashtag close the loop.

Tommy: And, um, you guys can use the Twitter hashtag or on anything.

Josh: Or don't, because I would never use it if I was the person listening to it.

Tommy: Close the loop on social media. If there is something that we've talked about that we've started and you really want to know the end result. So, Tommy's like, the worst thing happened to me the other day, and then I'll probably interject. Yeah. And then you can write and say, hey guys, can you please get Tommy to tell that storey from episode 16?

Josh: So, this one is— This one is— I had no idea, so I could— I was assisting in opening the loop.

Tommy: Yeah. So, we opened the loop last episode around the Olympics. Yeah. And I asked the question about whether the Summer Games, the Summer Olympics, or the— is the main Olympics.

Josh: So, you fucked that up. We were talking about Winter Olympics and then you said, hang on, Winter Olympics, they sold as the Winter Olympics, but is the other games sold as the Summer Games? Like, is it the Summer Games?

Tommy: Yeah. And so, I Googled it and it is.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: But then I went down a huge other rabbit hole trying to understand it. And trying to understand, because I always knew about the Olympics because of leap years, right? That's how I probably learnt about leap years, but I find the whole thing very confusing.

Josh: 2020, where is it?

Tommy: I know you told me, I can't remember.

Josh: Oh, yeah. What I liked was 2028 is LA. That fucking city will be mad. Imagine the traffic in LA.

Tommy: Oh, that'll be crazy.

Josh: The traffic in LA is fucked as it is.

Tommy: Should we do, should we commit right now that we will do the daily talk show from Los Angeles during the 2028.

Josh: Dude, it's in like August, I think. It's usually around August. That's the best time of year in LA, off the back of summer. It's like back end of summer.

Tommy: So, it'd be really hot then. It's probably too hot.

Josh: Oh, yeah. I was there August and it was epic.

Tommy: The— Talking about planning ahead and things like that, are you much of a— a planner in regards to long term. Like, I'll speak to someone, I'm like, have you got any travel plans?

Josh: You've talked about this on a previous podcast.

Tommy: Have I really?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, this is the first time.

Josh: Yeah. And let me guess, your mate said that they had a trip coming up in like 2020.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And you were like, what?

Tommy: Well, this is fucking annoying.

Josh: I can't— I don't even plan 3 weeks ahead, let alone plan to wipe my ass.

Tommy: This is annoying. Well, what the fuck do we talk about?

Josh: That's it. I do want to talk to you about something.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: And have I told you the storey about the dude with the cigarette button on Ackland Street?

Tommy: Oh, cigarette button, what happened? No, I haven't.

Josh: So, I'm walking down Ackland Street in St Kilda. The thing about St Kilda, if you've never been there, or even if you're from Melbourne, you might, you probably either, you hate this part of it or you love this part of it. The grunge, the dirtiness in terms of like, it's one of the red light districts in Melbourne in one of the parts. It's a lot more tame now. It's almost like the King's Cross, uh, of Melbourne, even though King's Cross is now pretty tame. But there's colourful characters, lots of heroin addicts, but then there's also this affluent side— best restaurants, lots of money around. You know, you buy a place in St. Kilda, a house— the house across the road from my apartment, tiny, and it's worth fucking $2 million. Tiny.

Tommy: It's a lot of money.

Josh: And so it's this suburb that attracts like gypsies, you know, travelling Irishmen, and there's the big English-Irish bar scene here, right?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so anyway, it's, it's, it's not dirty. They spend a lot of money on keeping this place pretty clean. Now, one thing that fucking shits me is people who litter.

Tommy: Yeah, Tommy loses it.

Josh: This is our second Hussey's house is 200 metres from here. I could see it from my window right now.

Tommy: Exciting. Anyway, you little creeper.

Josh: I, I hate fucking littering. And look, I've littered in my life as a kid, but I've got to a point in my life where I'm like, if you're— I— you're a grub if you litter. Just don't litter. Like, it's— the fucking fish can't help us— help themselves, sorry. They're not cleaning up. Someone— what I, what I always think is someone else has to clean up if you're not gonna fucking clean up your own mess. Someone else's, right? And so there was this dude who worked in a shop on Ackland Street, and I'm walking along and he's out the front, and I didn't know he worked in the shop, smoking a durry, and he just—

Tommy: That's a cigarette, everyone.

Josh: And then just throws it on the ground and walked in the shop.

Tommy: And what'd you do?

Josh: I kicked the cigarette into his shop. I said, mate, you dropped something. And so, boom!

Tommy: What did he say?

Josh: He looked so confused. Oh, I think he got a bit awkward about it. I just pointed down at it, said, yeah, you dropped your cigarette, and I walked off.

Tommy: It's, uh, yeah, it— the, the idea of, um, having a go at someone in public for something like that, it's Could go either way.

Josh: What? Because they could stab me?

Tommy: Yeah, they could stab you. Or like, I nearly had a road rage incident today where a person tutored me for, like, you know, like you have a car on, you're in the right-hand lane and there is a car that is turning right and there's the left-hand lane. So, you do a quick sort of sneaky indicate to go around them. This fuckhead in the left lane can see, like, it is common practise this shit happens. Yeah. I indicate and I turn and he sort of speeds up and holds down his horn. What a fuckstick. Yeah. And in that moment I was like, you know what, I'm— I was like, what do I do? I did nothing.

Josh: In the words of Josh Janson, he was projecting.

Tommy: He was projecting hard.

Josh: And I guess where you kind of took that was you're not knowing who's in the car. Another thing happened today with a rubbish fucking— what do you call it?

Tommy: Littering.

Josh: A litter bug. This dude, I was getting into my car and he's sitting in a truck, like a big removal truck, and he just dumped something out the window as he's parked. And I looked him in the eyes and I, and I See if you can pick up on the words I'm saying.

Tommy: Okay. Rabbit. He probably thought I said rabbit. Do it one more time. Rape. One more time.

Josh: I thought I was cool. I just now realised that he thought I was like rape or rabbit.

Tommy: Do it again. Rubbish. What do you say?

Josh: I thought there was— I thought it was so much harder than this. I'm— I mime the words grub. Oh, I thought it had a real cut through, but obviously it didn't.

Tommy: No, he's like, what the fuck? What? The guy just said rub. Why is he saying rub at me?

Josh: But then I did think, fuck, imagine if that dude was a Crazy bastard.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Do you think I should be calling out litterbugs to their face? Like, sorry. The problem is, I go, it's a bit passive.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: It's, oh, mate, I just— Did that drop out of your pocket? It's like a bag of fucking Maccas clearly didn't drop out of their pocket.

Tommy: I actually, you know, my home office, you can see out into the street.

Josh: That's right, we saw those people together.

Tommy: Yeah, well, so we— for whatever reason, it's the— there's— it's an area where people will dump shit sometimes.

Josh: Well, it's a dead end, and then the dead end has like some posts stopping cars from going off this like—

Tommy: To the river.

Josh: A cliff into the river. And so, it seems like a good space to dump if you were to be a fucking dumpy kind of person.

Tommy: Well, I saw a delivery, like a courier, I don't know if you remember this. They're in like a silver car and I saw the guy open his fucking door out near, like we're on the first floor. So, one storey up. I'm looking out. I see this guy throw something on the ground, right.

Josh: Oh, no, I saw this on Insta stories. Yes.

Tommy: And then after that, I took a photo. I was taking photos of it, right. Like I took a, I wanted a photo of the rubbish on the ground and him there. As I took the photo, he threw out a bunch of other shit, like almost like a garbage bag full of shit. And what happened was I got a live photo of it, so it was a video. So I turned it into a— like, I used the software. This was actually, uh, I told you, you told me about the software, GIF, like a live GIF or something.

Josh: You can change.

Tommy: And so then I, I like contacted the company and all that sort of thing.

Josh: But, um, it was like a, um, I remember it was a franchise, so they weren't too sure who the franchisee was.

Tommy: It was just fucking grubby.

Josh: There's something about it. Is it? And do you litter?

Tommy: No, never.

Josh: So you're pretty conscious?

Tommy: I mean, I was the kid who was always on yard duty with the teachers. I got to control the walkie-talkie, which was cool. Yeah, they had, um, Motorola's Um, yeah, it was great.

Josh: But this is slightly off topic, but I loved— as a kid, I fucking loved, um, walkie-talkies, and I love police scanners. I was obsessed with trying to get a police scanner. My brother got one.

Tommy: Fuck off.

Josh: And it wasn't like a top-end police scanner. Yeah, but we could seriously pick up shit going on.

Tommy: I had a mate whose Dad was a bit techy. I think he worked at Telstra or something. He had a wireless system that could feed into the McDonald's drive-through.

Josh: No.

Tommy: Yeah, that was sick.

Josh: Well, you can pick up trucks, so there's a lot of frequencies that are really open. So, we could go and buy one. Well, I did.

Tommy: I had like the Uniden ones. Like I've had so many walkie-talkies in my life, but What would you do with it? So, I would do this.

Josh: What were you thinking?

Tommy: So, you'd go on Channel 3.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Where the truckies were, you go, radio cheque please, radio check. And they jump on, they go, you're working, mate. And then a few minutes later you go back on, radio cheque please, radio check. And then they'll be like, mate, if you're just going to keep doing this, can you find another channel?

Josh: But, uh, and it sounded more like this: radio check, please, radio check.

Tommy: I'm sure— actually, this is just— reminded me, as your balls dropped, this is— so it was more like radio check, please. No, it's— I've just been, uh, triggered by all of this stuff and I'm remembering all of these storeys now. As a kid, I wanted to be a spy, and I would do— I'm sure I've told the storey of, um, me getting my microphone.

Josh: I like how you cheque with storeys first by referencing.

Tommy: It's so hard. I wasn't a kid who played with toys, so for— Shit squeegees. Well done, episode 14 or whatever the fuck that was. And the— I'm a bit twerked from all that pizza. Tweaked? Twerked. Tweaked.

Josh: Please don't twerk. Anyway, you weren't into toys.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. So, I got microphones and amplifiers and things like that, and I had my amplifier on full.

Josh: What's all this that you've told me?

Tommy: This is the best. And I got the long cable and I put the microphone underneath the couch. So, mum and dad, so I could hear mum and dad, I would like turn up the volume. And so, I would be in my room listening to their conversations and mum found the microphone and she said, you are sick. Sick, you are sick. So that was the one, that was one not ideal situation. What did you hear? I don't know, I can't remember, but I just, there was so many occasions. I hope it's not Oprah on the couch. Yeah, hopefully not. But there were other things I would do, like would you ever listen, would you pick up the phone and try and listen to your bro's convos?

Josh: I remember doing it with mates, listening in on their conversations with their girlfriends. So it wasn't even me, but I did. There was always like, get the fuck off the portable, mom, get off the fucking other end.

Tommy: Do you know what? How about this? I remember if you had caller ID, you were the fucking sickest unit going around, right?

Josh: Yeah, it was sick for a while.

Tommy: And, uh, we I had someone call me, right? Robert. Robert Curran is his name. Robert Curran calls me.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's interesting because it's— He's just calling to say hello, but he's calling from Lachlan Clydesdale's phone number. And the call goes something like this. Hey, man, how you going? Yeah, good. Yeah. What do you think about Lachlan? They were setting you up. Yeah, they were fucking setting me up.

Josh: This is sick.

Tommy: No, so Mum— so I hung up, I said to Mum, like, oh, they just did this. And she's like, okay, well, if they call again, I'll answer. And so Mum picks up the phone, if you want to be his friend, be his friend. If not, stop calling, and hangs up. That wouldn't have helped.

Josh: No. Um, were you friends with them after that?

Tommy: Oh, not really. Like, look, do you know why? I've got ideas. But, oh, there's so many examples of that, of the— We would get the walkie-talkie and put it— We had a security camera at the front of our house, which was also just like the sickest thing. And—

Josh: Oh, walkie— Security camera, like it was a 360 back.

Tommy: We had like one of those dome security, like old school dome security camera that would plug— Like a cute one. That would plug into the AV. Section on the, uh, TV, and you could go on AV1 and you could see what was—

Josh: Why did you have it? Was it because your dad's hot rod didn't want it?

Tommy: I don't know, I just think I was such a—

Josh: Did you set it up?

Tommy: Nah, but I was a scaredy-cat kid. Any sort of— I remember, um, we were the first house in an entire estate, and the thing with the estates is like there's heaps of shifty people got like going through fucking onto properties and trying to steal shit or stuff like that. And I remember being on like with my video camera and because it was sort of we're on the bottom of a hill and you could see up. I remember seeing this red van.

Josh: In full camo?

Tommy: Yeah, full camo. It was a bit like that, but I had, there was this red van that looked like they were stealing shit. And I remember like we're on the phone to the police and I was like, I had my camera on a 400x digital zoom. So pixelated.

Josh: So, you got their number plate?

Tommy: Yeah, I didn't get their number plate. I don't think I got their number plate, but we had so— I remember vividly as a kid so many times where we were, where I felt like we were under attack. Like—

Josh: Well, hang on. Were you, though?

Tommy: In hindsight, probably not, but it always felt like the neighbours getting like broken into just like would fucking rattle me. I would—

Josh: Where'd the fear come from?

Tommy: I don't know, but I would like dress up in all black with like black cargo pants and stuff like that. I'd wake up really early in the morning with a fake gun and I would walk around the house and I would open each door and I'd go, click, and then I'll just go to the next one and slam it open. Everyone's trying to sleep. It's like 7 AM on a Saturday.

Josh: Fuck.

Tommy: I was just a bit of a fucking weirdo.

Josh: There's a lot of things about you that I'd like my son to turn out like, but not that.

Tommy: This actually, talking about security, the best one would have been my security system on my bike.

Josh: What do you mean? Isn't it just a lock? Padlock?

Tommy: No, I had a sensor. So, it was a— I had like a keypad on the actual— on the handlebars and it was— you could put in like a 4-digit PIN and basically—

Josh: And then what would that do?

Tommy: There was a sensor on the wheel that would be able to tell you that where you could press one of the keys and it would tell you what speed you're going. So it'd go 18 kilometres an hour.

Josh: Why?

Tommy: And the awesome thing was, yeah, it was fucking sick. And this would have been like 2000, year 2000, probably 1999. Uh, but the sickest feature was that you would activate the alarm, you'd go inside, and if the wheel moved, it would go beep beep and it would go stolen bike, stolen bike. And the thing was, where the fuck did you get that? It was stick. I don't know where, but I must have got it as a gift. But I'd never had my bike stolen so many times because the fucking mean neighbours and shit thought it was so funny because they would just fucking steal my bike and I would run out.

Josh: I would have stolen your bike.

Tommy: You would?

Josh: Yeah, definitely.

Tommy: Were you a skateboarder? Did you skateboard?

Josh: I skateboarded, rollerbladed.

Tommy: Like, how good of a skateboarder?

Josh: That's good, man. I was pretty good. Like, I I could drop in, grind, kickflip.

Tommy: Would you create your own grinder things, whatever?

Josh: My dad would build us, um, quarter pipes.

Tommy: Just moving on to the couch because it's, uh, it's getting late.

Josh: Yeah, Dad would build us quarter pipes. Like, I was at the bowl dropping in on my bike, rollerblades, from the age of 8.

Tommy: Did you do, uh, billy carts?

Josh: Yeah, I thought they were whack.

Tommy: I was like, fucking boring.

Josh: No hills around here. If I want to, I'd rather a go-kart.

Tommy: Yeah. Did you ever go into hospital as a kid? Like any injury? Hospital?

Josh: Oh, I broke my, broke my wrist going down a slide on my rollerblades. And I told my mum there's something really wrong with my wrist. She said, nah, it's fine. As you probably would, like if your kids—

Tommy: Same thing happened.

Josh: Oh, I'm just holding my wrist. And it was broken. It was like a tiny hairline fracture. And then I fucking bent my arm.

Tommy: What do you mean?

Josh: So it's called bowing. So when you're young, bones are still soft, and so it was like, it was bowed. So like, fuck off, fell off. I hit an acorn. Yeah, hit an acorn. My left arm, it's fine. Hit an acorn, hit the deck off my skatey, probably 200 metres from home. And I looked at my arm, I was like, whoa, it's bent. And then I just rushed home and then we took— went to the hospital. And then I had it, um, they literally— they don't surg— they don't cut you open, just press down on it. Oh no, you have to go to sleep.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so they press down on it and I, um, that's fine, put back into place.

Tommy: I actually fractured my foot, uh, pretending to be Russell Coit in All Aussie Adventures. It was the— that was great. It was the, uh, I fell into a hole. I was filming, I fell into a hole.

Josh: You do realise how ironic that is? You're pretending to be a dude who's a fucking doofus.

Tommy: It's true.

Josh: And who does shit like sits on fire and breaks his ankle trying to—

Tommy: I was— I think I was probably doing a bit of slapstick, but it went too far. Anyway, I told— I was sitting—

Josh: hey, just a thing, I— when You know, Glen Robbins, Russell Coyote.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: He'd broken his ankle and I gave him a lift home from Reece's house.

Tommy: Oh, that's cool.

Josh: To his house in me fucking red leather BMW, baby.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Russell Coyote thought I was flying.

Tommy: If only he'd known. The, uh, yeah, but I, um, I was walking on it, I think for 6 weeks before mum like listened to me because I was saying I've hurt myself.

Josh: She's like, yeah, but you also thought there was People around every corner of your house.

Tommy: I was a bit of a pain in the ass. But, you know, I don't know what got me thinking about this. I think just like the time in my life. I'll tell you another embarrassing story. Bottom of the court, there were some girls.

Josh: So, you lived in a court?

Tommy: Yeah, we lived in a few courts.

Josh: What's the meaning of a court? I've never— I have a— Salem? No.

Tommy: Court is the one where it's got the bowl at the end. Okay, you know, like you can, like, so you can do it fucking yui. And, uh, these, like, we would have been probably 8 and hanging out with these girls and they said, do you want to like show us your penis and we'll show you our vagina? And my brother and I were like, yeah, okay. And they're like, okay, well, you like go and like you show us yours. Yeah, so we're showing. And then they fucking ran up to the court and told our parents. Isn't that so embarrassing?

Josh: They set you up.

Tommy: They set us up. Fucking hell, isn't that fucked? So it was upsetting, but, um, I feel like I'm sort of out of material and we're only like 20 minutes in. This is a fucking disaster.

Josh: You're tired, mate. You've had a big day today.

Tommy: It's like, this is like the only— I had only like 3 meetings. It was enough just to fucking over— like, I was—

Josh: 2 shoots today. You had 2 shoots and 3 meetings, which you're not having 2 shoots, 3 meetings every single day.

Tommy: No.

Josh: So what you're putting into that is huge.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I mean, it is Friday. It's the fucking end of the week.

Tommy: Yeah, it's a good one. I reckon we just cut this one short, but I think, um, because we got that crunchy ice cream in the fridge. Yeah. Can I have some of that?

Josh: You can.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: That's why I got it.

Tommy: Um, but, uh, please subscribe to us, uh, make sure that you rate us and review us if you can.

Josh: Yeah, Robbie Ward, thanks for chucking that review at us.

Tommy: It's good, I appreciate that. And, uh, yeah, we're— I think what we should probably do is, um, at some point we'll build out some spot where people can really quickly, like, comment with their thoughts or topics or maybe even we could do like, we've got an Instagram, The Daily Talk Show, maybe there or something we can ask. We could even use the voting function or something on Instagram as well.

Josh: Oh, yeah.

Tommy: So, like, people can vote for shit.

Josh: Or send us a voicemail.

Tommy: We're actually going to do Monday's episode, we're doing in Sydney.

Josh: Oh, that's right. Yeah, we're off. So, it's on the road. The Daily Talk Show is on the road.

Tommy: That's exciting. Enjoy your weekend, everyone. And, uh, Tommy and I will see you, uh, on Monday. Bye-bye. Now I've got to turn it off. What did I— how was the weather today? It was—