We Got It Wrong

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad.

Josh: That's crazy. We've committed to do The Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Tommy: Hi guys.

Jess: Hi guys.

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I'd just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. It's The Daily Talk Show episode 992 and we have the full team together. George and Jess are in the building.

Tommy: Yeah, it's a bit sad when you just reel off two names after the full name. It'll get bigger, guys. How are we all?

George: Good, good to be downstairs.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, well, we usually don't let you. No, no, I'm joking. Um, it feels like Friday, but it's not. No, you said it feels like, um, weekend banter.

George: Last day of school.

Tommy: No, no, no, last day of school. Last day of school.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: It does. Yeah.

George: Because Josh was playing. And he go.

Josh: Yeah, we're playing Vitamin C because I was having some vitamin C.

Tommy: Is that the name of the band? Vitamin C?

George: Yeah.

Josh: The individual.

George: What a shit name.

Josh: No, back then you've got to think about the time. It's what real crucial lack of money. So, Spice Girls, Vitamin C. Oh, true. There was a lot of stuff sort of related to the grocery.

Tommy: Salt and Pepper.

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: Oh, yeah.

Tommy: You're right.

Josh: What the fuck? Yeah. It was basically a grocery list back in the day. Yeah. Think about.

Tommy: Well, we're talking about business names. And the sort of hipster agencies that all go for lemons. Lemon, like lemon lime, lemon cordial.

Josh: Producers. Yeah, I definitely, when I was looking at business names, I basically listed every citrus fruit that I could think of and then media. And it was either going to be Orange Media, Lemon Media.

George: Lemon Media, not good. Lemon. Yeah.

Josh: You got a lemon.

Tommy: Alkaline Media.

Josh: Yeah. Lemon Studios.

Tommy: Who dropped that shit?

George: You did.

Tommy: Your dentist told you to stop drinking.

Jess: Lemon water.

Josh: Mate.

Tommy: Can everyone just fucking stop telling everyone what to do?

Josh: Well, she went to the dentist.

Jess: Yeah, but it's like the nutritionist says one thing. Yes. Lemon water. You go to the dentist, they say don't drink that.

Josh: It's infuriating. I get annoyed. I go to McDonald's, Ronald says eat the burger. Go to the dietitian, they say don't. So, who can you believe?

Jess: They're both on the same page about sugar, to be honest.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Who, Ronald?

Jess: Dentist and nutritionist.

Tommy: Ronald McDonald, he doesn't give a fuck.

Josh: Actually, on that, I was looking at the Colgate ingredients. So, I was just curious. Says no Colgate product contains sugar.

Tommy: That's great. I reckon that's, you know, one of the—

Josh: I don't know if you can sell something like that.

George: I'm not surprised by that.

Josh: I reckon, you know, I just thought it's almost like does not contain asbestos. Yeah, of course it doesn't, you fucking idiots.

Tommy: But it's so, it's some bad branding. Did it ever, though? Did toothpaste ever have sugar in it?

Josh: Very silly if they did.

Tommy: It seems dumb.

George: Maybe kids' toothpaste.

Tommy: Well, no, no, no.

Josh: Kids don't need them for that long.

Tommy: I buy kids toothpaste and it clearly has a big no sugar in it because it's parents who are worried. Did toothpaste—

George: But they'd make them sweet so they get them to brush. That's what I would have thought. Stupidly.

Tommy: Did toothpaste ever have sugar in it? Here we go. And so, toothpaste flavours typically come from sweetening agents such as saccharin or sorbitol. Although these ingredients may taste sweet, toothpaste doesn't contain sugar, so it won't cause tooth decay. I couldn't imagine, like, it would be dumb. Yeah, be dumb.

Josh: Has anyone done any toothbrush subscription services or bought a wooden toothbrush?

Tommy: Oh, I see hipsters with the wooden ones. What's with that?

Josh: And you had charcoal to brush their teeth. It's like they were in fucking Sovereign Hill or something, you know.

George: Hannah had a wooden toothbrush and she hated it because it's like Splintery.

Tommy: So, talk to me about the wooden toothbrush.

George: I guess it's better for the environment because you're not disposing of plastic.

Tommy: Mate, the length of time I keep my one toothbrush. Yeah, I'm an environmentalist.

George: Yeah, yeah, I know. I need a new head, actually.

Tommy: Do you?

George: Yeah, on my, um, on your toothbrush or your body?

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I need a new head.

Jess: You've been saying that you're tired, so.

Tommy: You did say you were tired today. I woke up, you know when you feel like your eye's been punched? It's like your lid is a bit like it feels bruised or something. Do you ever have that?

George: I had that the other day.

Tommy: You touch your eyelash and it's like, oh.

George: Thought it was a stye.

Josh: Oh, that beats it.

Tommy: I had, I, ex-girlfriend of mine, I saw her on Insta put up something that's like, it's stye content. She was putting out stye content, like looking for help to clear up a stye that had been there for weeks.

Josh: Well, Zoe Foster-Blake goes big on the, um, the mouth herpes. She has a whole— like, you can go on Insta Stories and click through and she goes through.

Tommy: Oh, okay, so she's leading. Yeah, there's no— I can break it to you guys, Zoe doesn't know because you fucking can't get rid of herpes, dude.

Josh: Yeah, I know, but you can, you can soften the blow. I mean, the 3, the 3 tablets that you got me to take worked a treat.

Tommy: But I just didn't— like, it was false advertising the way you sold Zoe's.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: There would be someone. Isn't it weird? Like, it's— we put out an episode that has cold sore or herpes in the tag or title, and then there's these automated bots that's like people writing, "Oh, Dr. Shren cured my virus. Go cheque them out. Here's their email. Email them." Because people get genital herpes serious, something serious.

Josh: Um, charliegoldsmith.com.

Tommy: Charlie Goldsmith, who's a healer, and I know you'd get around real bad. No, no, no, more false advertising. He, he does some healing for people who, like, when we're talking, when we're talking, it's not even fucking funny, dude.

Josh: No, it was just a funny thing because you can die of it. Well, that's not funny, is it?

Tommy: It's fucked.

Jess: Anyway, I'm so glad I came on the show today.

Tommy: Anyway, it was divine intervention.

Josh: Yeah. Um, what's been happening in your world, Jess?

Jess: I've been hanging out with you guys quite a bit this week.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Tommy: We even went to my mum's house.

Jess: Yeah, that was cute.

Tommy: Met the parents, Jess and Josh. You weren't there, George. That would have been nice.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: But we went to— we were near my parents' place and my mum was looking at you, Jess, and you're just at the table just tapping away, just like—

George: She's a very efficient emailer.

Tommy: Well, my mum was like, what are you doing? Like, she knows how to type well. My mum did a typewriter course back in the day. But it's interesting, like, seeing the young peeps of the world, i.e., us, just tapping away. Do you think you're productive when you're sort of in a, in a setting? Because you were doing it just before we got onto this show, just fucking banging out emails is what I say. Do you think you're productive?

Jess: Yeah, I mean, we got stuff done yesterday, didn't we? Yeah, we probably didn't get as much stuff as we wanted to done because we did keep getting distracted by people.

Josh: Yeah, but it was good, it was good.

Jess: Yeah, I think it started out thinking about a new client.

Tommy: So you can in the moment, because I think like banging out an email at a table with a bunch of people is tough. Most people would be distracted.

Jess: Yeah, it was hard work. I mean, it's distracting working with you guys as it is, so I'm used to it.

Tommy: But then what's the other office like?

Jess: Josh comes in, he's like, oh no, okay, that's very fucking—

Josh: I say good morning, I say good morning, guys.

Tommy: There's a problem with getting in at 9 when everyone's sort of done the pre-catch-up and next minute there's a fucking I was trying to find you one of those Easter eggs.

Josh: Unfortunately, didn't come with the goods. Could you imagine me as a dad? Just Easter Sunday. Is that when the Easter eggs come? Just coming in at 10:00 AM. Just, kids, are you fired up? It's Easter. Didn't get eggs. Couldn't get eggs. But aren't we glad to be here?

Tommy: Who's painting eggs this weekend?

George: Painting? No. No?

Tommy: You shucking eggs?

George: Might eat a couple. I'm not a big Easter egg guy. I eat them occasionally, but I just don't eat that much chocolate.

Josh: Do you like occasionally, as in during Easter?

George: Yeah, we might have an Easter egg hunt. We're good at those.

Josh: It's funny that you mentioned that because I literally thought, uh, maybe we could do an Easter egg hunt in the office.

Jess: That would have been so cute as a business owner for you to have done that for us.

Tommy: Josh and I are working Sunday, so you guys get to come in and we can do it today.

George: We should have done it today.

Josh: It's not true. Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking. I literally thought that, but I just, I never know where it's going to land. I mean, me saying hello was too much today. So, potentially. But also, where can you hide them?

Tommy: In the microwave?

George: Well, this is what we do at our house. Each person has their own section. And so, they hide, everyone gets like a minute or 2 minutes to hide the eggs. And then it's like, right, go. And then you just run to all the other sections.

Josh: I'll try and— I get real fucking nasty.

George: Yeah, you would.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: My dog, I remember we used to hide them in the backyard. My dog would get them before we did. Sniff them out.

Josh: There was a radio ad about this.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: They were literally saying chocolate's not good for dogs. It was actually a very clever ad because it sounded like something that the Victorian government had authorised. But it's like promoting a 24-hour vet.

Tommy: No.

Josh: So, it's like this Easter, remember. Chocolate isn't your dog's friend. If they get to your chocolate, call blah blah and be referred to the nearest vet.

Tommy: Yeah. God. I mean, the dogs are so annoying. Think about, we went to Mum's place yesterday and there was shit everywhere.

Josh: Your dogs.

George: Yeah.

Josh: You went through the dog, doggy door to get inside.

Jess: Well, thanks for sharing that with everyone.

Josh: I didn't know you had a dog. I mean, I didn't give my opinion.

Tommy: No one knows where my parents live anyway.

Josh: Yeah.

George: I didn't know she had dogs.

Tommy: Well, it's my brother's dog that they've adopted into the house as well as my brother. But they— It's a Staffy, old one. And it's just started farting. Like, it's almost like it's on its last legs kind of farts.

Jess: Decaying inside. Just dying from the inside out.

George: Smell.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

George: It's spammy.

Josh: Oh, spammy. Is that a thing?

George: Nah, just we looked after a Staffy once and it just ate spam. Oh, what?

Josh: You ate spam?

George: Don't eat spam. Really?

Tommy: It is. I mean, some people would think it's dog food.

George: Yeah, pretty much.

Tommy: Except for Derek. Derek loves spam.

Josh: My mate, Naysan, not to bring him up too many times. Who's Naysan? Naysan's just a mate of mine.

Jess: George, you should have been in the car.

Josh: Yeah, I just love chatting about Naysan. Just so many great stories. Do you have that? Like where you've just, I haven't seen him in a while and so, and I like, no, no, we're around these guys enough.

Tommy: They don't have that.

Jess: Well, we just restrain from talking about our friends.

Josh: I'm trying to think if you have any mate like that. Conspiracy Jimmy. Conspiracy Jimmy, definitely.

Tommy: Or Fitzie.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah. Lots of storeys with those two.

Jess: I was going to say Jules. You talk about him a lot.

Josh: Yeah, that's true. Jules gets a good run.

Tommy: Some good memories with Jules as well.

George: Could we get your friends that you talk about on the 1000th episode?

Josh: Well, we ain't going to.

Tommy: Conspiracy Jimmy won't. He's too, uh, you'd have to wear a non-identifying mask. Oh, and doughnuts as well.

Josh: Oh yeah.

Jess: All the time.

Josh: Mike Santos.

Tommy: You think about doughnuts all the time. As in Mike Santos.

Josh: Can we tell the story? I don't think we've ever told it about.

George: You have to now.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Hard one to set it up like that.

Jess: I thought we had spoken about it.

Josh: Yeah, I feel like we've spoken about it. No. So yeah, it's a very convoluted story, but who knows AdsWiz? So there's a— do you know about IAB? No. No.

Tommy: Grant Smiley, sit down.

Josh: Had to be there. Um, no, but what it is, is, uh, so no, so basically we had a conversation. No, so Jess and Mason were having a chat with our ads guy who basically runs all of the technology to make sure that we could do dynamic ad insertion. Tommy had had a conversation with his mate Mike Santos who works at Southern Cross Austereo saying, mate, we're talking dynamic ads, mid-rolls, how do you do your mid-rolls? We're thinking maybe you know, do we add a space in between, blah, blah, blah. Mike Santos says, oh mate, you're talking about donuts. Donuts are where we create a little space so then the dynamic ad can just be inserted. Anyway, uh, I said hole in the middle. Yes, I couldn't be, I couldn't be in the meeting. And so I said, uh, Jess, could you get some information on whether they do something similar at AdsWiz? And so Jess, uh, had the conversation, uh, Mason, Jess have the conversation with Graham from AdsWiz. Then we hear Mason ends up telling us, I think, first that Jess at the end of the meeting, they'd had a conversation. She said, now I had—

Jess: Sorry, just to jump in here. What I did was jot down notes in my diary. And so I had my notes. I knew I had two things to get answers for you about on the call. We clarified the first point and then the second point.

Josh: And then you said, so, Graeme, I've just Final point, Mike Santos and donuts. Does that mean anything to you?

Jess: And I think I've written in my notes. I just read Mike Santos, donut. Yeah, because I must have just assumed I was going to remember.

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: What it was, what the conversation was.

Josh: That's some medium shit there, isn't it? It's like I'm feeling a letter S, maybe it's a— And so Graham said, no, but I will be picking up Krispy Kreme. He did say that. He said that, which is funny.

Tommy: What a legend. And then I found your book, like on a weekend. I was like just grabbing things at the office. Cleaning up and I open your book, literally divine intervention, just open to a page. Mike Santos Donuts. I saw it.

Jess: And so now he's known as Mike Santos Donuts.

Josh: Yes.

George: Yeah.

Josh: It's a good story.

Tommy: And that's all I got.

Josh: I mean, if we're talking about Naysan, the other thing I talk a lot about—

Tommy: If we're talking—

Josh: Well, you're already feeling that I'm overdoing it with the golf.

George: Chat. Uh, hang on, I don't think so at all. Okay, I thought it'd be way more. I'm actually—

Josh: Oh really?

Tommy: No, no, I'm very impressed.

Jess: Stuck in the car with him for the last 2 days.

Josh: Well, no, no, we passed some great golf courses and we did have a break where we tried to go to a driving range.

Tommy: Yeah, it would have been great.

George: You guys work at all yesterday?

Jess: So George, what, what the plan was is that they were going to do golf and I was going to sit at the cafe and work, but then they couldn't get into the golf course, so we went to Tommy's mum's house Yeah, it was an hour and a half. Was I rude to your mum?

Tommy: No, not at all.

George: Okay, good. I'm still the favourite child though.

Tommy: She loves you. She said, George has a very interesting look.

George: Yeah, she does love me. I've got a Hollywood look.

Tommy: Hollywood look.

Josh: I agree. Your mum looks great.

Tommy: My mum's tip-top shape.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Gave her a hug yesterday, felt her back muscles. I was like, fucking rock solid.

Josh: She was just in like, she was in leggings and she's speaking to Jess. And she— I thought, like, I actually got caught off guard. She looks amazing.

Jess: Calm down.

Josh: No, she would.

Jess: Tommy's mum has got it going on.

Josh: Yeah, she does.

Jess: She is all I want. I've waited for so long.

Tommy: That's called yoga.

Jess: Tommy, can't you see?

Tommy: Yoga and meditation for 40, 50 years and eating well.

Jess: She doesn't drink except for Campari and soda.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. We need to get her a bottle.

Josh: And anyway, so yeah, I'm not going to a place with a drink. What can we do?

Tommy: Can we do a hidden camera, you rocking up to Mum's joint with a bottle of Campari?

Josh: Yeah. Timbo's out. Thought we'd do some cork and yoga. It'd be nice. No, but golf.

Tommy: Oh yeah. So you— it hasn't even made its way onto the show. But I feel like you've even done a piece of work on yourself.

Josh: Yeah, definitely. To not talk about it. Yeah.

George: Yeah. Okay. That makes sense.

Tommy: Which is actually—

George: That's a side hobby. It's actually quite impressive that you haven't spoken about it.

Tommy: Well, yeah, because he's— For the amount of— For the amount you've spoken about it and not played a round of golf is phenomenal. Yeah.

Josh: Well, no, I haven't played a round of golf recently, so I played a lot when I was younger. I've got a lesson today.

Tommy: Which is serious.

Josh: Which is very exciting. It's huge. And so the other thing— Yeah, you, you know, he's not—

Tommy: I just saw it in the calendar.

Josh: Yeah. So Ben Hood, like, great. He actually, if you look at his bio, he used to work at Churchill Park Golf Club where I used to go to years ago. So I guess, I mean, after I had sort of left, but I thought that was a cool story. Yeah, he sort of, um, I think he coached at Southern. It's gonna be great. But I'm just curious, like, as a coach, he's got no idea what I'm going to ask him. So, what I'm interested in is chipping. I know.

Tommy: Just get your money's worth and listen. Yeah. Don't ask too many questions.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because he'll give you everything you need.

George: And don't push back either.

Josh: And so, well, this is what I'm trying to work out is because there'd be some people who are like, what's his name again?

Tommy: Ben Wood.

George: Ben.

Josh: You know, I need to fix my putting, right? And so, you'd be on the green. So, he doesn't know if I'm going to be on the green needing chipping stuff. Like, he doesn't know what's going to happen.

Tommy: If he's a good coach, he should ask you a lot of questions. Yeah. Which you're usually the one asking the questions, so you've got to do a lot of talking, which is easy. But, um, as a, as a trainer, people used to come to me, and you're saying like you might want to do your putting and that's all you want to do, but he actually thinks you should be doing other shit.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: But if he's a good coach, he'll let you do your putting. Yeah, yeah, because he just wants to make that money. Like, I had one guy that would come in and he just ran on the treadmill and I'd stand there and he paid me money. Yeah, it was great. Like, but he would— I just chat to him and press the buttons to go up and down, you know, just—

Josh: Well, Bree's very supportive, but it's funny when someone tries to be supportive and it still doesn't work out. Like, she said, oh, you know, like, the coaching, like, it really works out because, like, do you get balls included? I was like, yeah, like, you get the, you know, 100 balls. Like, I'm guessing they, they just, you know, driving range, she's not going to charge me for balls. That's great. So it's like '100 balls is $20.' I'm like, she's like, 'That's a great saving.' She's like, 'And it's the coaching session is what, $60?' I'm like, 'No, the session's $130.' Really?

George: For an hour?

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: Fuck, you've spent some money on it already.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Which is the fascinating bit is the zero to 100 real quick. What's the moment that you went into the golf rabbit hole to the moment of spending $700 on a pair of clubs and you still haven't played a round?

Josh: Yeah, 12 hours. 12 hours from the decision to being in Glen Waverley picking them up from a guy.

Tommy: Yeah, just literally talking golf with some stranger.

Josh: Yeah, I literally said, so what's your plans? Are you getting new clubs? Yeah, I'm upgrading mine. I was like, oh great, like It was trying to work out when you're doing the whole deal how much banter you need. And Bree gave him the money. Like, it was quite funny. We sort of hit him both ends, right? So he's giving me the clubs, then Bree's giving him the money. She's like, oh, you can count it. But he obviously felt awkward counting. Anything. He didn't count the money.

Tommy: Always count the money.

Josh: Yeah, always. Interesting. I think I fucked it because the, the clubs were advertised for $800. They're very good clubs. These clubs are worth $1,800 new, $1,700 new, right? The thing with clubs is you don't, like, you can, especially if you're just getting back into it, you don't need to get new clubs. You can get secondhand. And they were listed for $800. What should you go and ask? What should you say your offer should be?

Tommy: Depends on how hard you want to go. $650, he'll say $700.

Josh: Okay. Yeah. Well, this is exactly what's happened because—

Tommy: $700, he'll say $750.

Josh: Well, no. So, I said $750, he said $780. I said, yeah. Terrible negotiation.

Tommy: Absolutely horrible.

Jess: But at least you knocked $20 off.

George: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: I thought, you know what, like it's a— and the other thing is they were tip-top. It's 20 to 100 bucks. Yeah, 100 balls. But also tip-top condition too. That's the other big thing is like you see it, it's not— they weren't scratched up. They looked fresh.

George: They were very good.

Jess: This is why I hate Facebook Marketplace though. Why does everyone need to negotiate?

Tommy: Well, because it is. It's secondhand.

George: Ruthless on Gumtree.

Jess: I always go up when I sell things. Really? Because I know that they're going to go up.

Josh: But this is, you're the reason why I do what I do, because I thought that exact same thing.

Jess: Oh, you're the reason. It's chicken or egg.

Josh: Well, I'm like, Bree said when she was picking it up, she said, ah, I don't like being on this side of the gum tree.

Tommy: Oh, you don't like buying? She doesn't like buying.

Josh: Yeah, she doesn't like, I guess, the buying bit. But it went really well. Um, I feel like George, uh, Urine to Golf, we actually went to the driving range.

George: That was great. We were hitting them very well.

Tommy: Um, what's the longest shot you've—

George: I reckon with the driver, I reckon we're clearing the, the actual range. It was going like— it was rolling probably over 300 yards.

Josh: So how— what's the meters? Because I wasn't, I wasn't sure. I nearly—

George: I think it's pretty much the same.

Josh: But the thing is, like, it's not—

Tommy: it's like ounces and maybe 250 meters, pounds and kilos.

George: 360.

Tommy: How many metres is 300 yards? It's a fair whack though. It's huge. 270.

Josh: That's a big hit with roll, with a really long— yeah, just sort of—

Tommy: so you've hit, you've hit 240. I think I was doing 250.

Josh: I, I don't know. I feel like I was doing 180, but I've not measured. I've got no sense of that stuff. Hitting your 8-iron was—

George: I was so surprised. Hit the 8-iron. I don't know how far it was, but it was a lot further than I thought.

Josh: So these are called game improvement clubs, the golf clubs I have. So these are ones that are—

George: Jess is loving it.

Josh: Yeah, it's good.

Jess: Sorry, I came again.

Josh: I mean, hobbies-wise, what are you into at the moment, Jess? What are you thinking about?

Jess: Just my same hobbies, I think. My iPad is one that I've been using quite a bit. Boxing. Boxing. And that's it.

George: Hanging out with the puppy.

Jess: And yeah, the puppy's taking over all my time at the moment.

Josh: Do you get sort of into, um, like specific elements? So for me, obviously with the golf stuff, like last night the only thing stopping me from buying an item was I was, I was half asleep and I went to get it on Amazon and it said if I ordered in an hour it would get there the next day. And the only reason I didn't was because it fucking, it knew that I was almost asleep and it said re-enter your credit card. But so, silly things like buying that. Do you— are you buying items for boxing? Do you have like nice gloves?

Jess: Um, I need new gloves. I have 3 pairs, but I don't like the other 2, so I'm still using my old stinky ones. And no, aside from that, not really. I've got everything. I don't need to keep buying it.

Josh: Well, it's like a grip. So the thing I was looking at getting was a grip strengthener. I thought that— so it's just like a real wanker. Yeah, literally. No, but it's great because it's just, um, it's something you could to do whilst working, and it just— I feel like you would get around it too, George.

Tommy: Like, just, I mean, it's hard to edit and grip strength.

Josh: You could do one hand, but just being able to do that, I thought was cool.

George: I guess I don't necessarily want to be gripping that tight.

Josh: Yeah, they said for all sports it's good. Just from a stress ball.

Tommy: Guitarists, guitar— like, you can get the ones where you're doing individual fingers.

Josh: That's literally what it is. Yeah, old school.

Tommy: Old school little fucking metal tong looking thing.

Jess: How long are you going to commit to your hobby for?

Josh: Also, this is the thing. I think that it's a real lifestyle thing. So, what it ticks is the nature element. So, walking in nature, talking, like having conversations with people, which is great. It's got the networking element. So, the maximum amount of people that can be in sort of a group is 4.. So, it's great. Like, it's got the limitations built in, which I love. But then also it has the destination element, too. So, for instance, if you want to go on holiday, you could say, let's go to this specific place and we'll play golf. Because I think the other thing, too, is like Bri and I have some couple friends or whatever, and I struggle to relate to the guys as much for something like sport. You know, if they're into footy, I'm not going to go to the footy. But this could be my thing, like the golf thing. Oh, fuck, let's go have a hit. Yeah, do you agree, George?

George: Yeah, I agree, it's great.

Jess: I love this for you, this is great.

Josh: Yeah, and so, um, yeah, see how you actually go enjoying. Yeah, and this is the thing, and the, the, um, the other thing I was saying to TJ is like with, uh, person— like personal trainers, wasn't really a fan. I've had a tennis coach back in the day, wasn't necessarily a fan. He would always call me, um, uh, what's it called? Meister. What's the first bit of that? Something, something Meister. Josh Meister. Meister. I didn't like that. Um, and also the floor, the, the courts were clay and my white shoes would get dirty. Um, but yeah, the idea of having a golf coach one-on-one playing with technique and all that sort of thing.

Jess: It's an expensive hobby though. $130 each.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, good PTs are $100 now.

Jess: This is true. Yeah. I just find it such a waste of money.

Josh: No, but so think about the self-development. So the way that I position it, because Pete Shepherd very much got into this, he started getting different people for different things, very much like, let's just dial in my whole life stuff. Think about Pilates. Pilates feels quite sort of frivolous, don't you think?

Tommy: What are you talking about? Is you literally describe two things you don't like, tennis and fucking PT, going to the gym.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: If you like those things, you'll do that.

George: Exactly.

Tommy: So you like golf because you actually golf.

Josh: Yeah, I like the thing of— but also I think that people like what they're good at, and I think exactly, I'm actually okay at golf. I think I could be good at golf, whereas like, I don't know necessarily, I don't know if I'm ever going to beat Ash Williams at tennis.

George: Absolutely.

Josh: I reckon fucking destroy him at golf.

George: Really?

Tommy: That's a—

Josh: I would watch you, Ash Williams. I'm coming for you.

Tommy: I reckon he'd be good at golf. I reckon he's an all-round sport— sportsman.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he would He's probably played more rounds of golf since we've been talking than you, since, since the day you bought your clubs.

Josh: It's funny that I just said this because one of the things I told myself with the golf is it's not a competition for me. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know I said fuck you, Ash Williams, and all of this, but how would you feel about going by yourself this weekend?

Tommy: No, no one else. It's not about anyone else.

Josh: Yeah. Definitely.

Tommy: And so actually playing your first round of golf.

Josh: Yeah, definitely.

Jess: Well, not a chance of Sunset of playing.

Tommy: Yeah, can you please, um, book it in? Like, can you do that? That's your challenge for this weekend, to actually do a round of golf.

Josh: Well, can I— can George come? Just, just because I feel like it's nice to have—

Tommy: are you around George?

George: Yeah, I should be.

Josh: Oh yeah, what are you doing tomorrow?

George: Tomorrow?

Josh: Good Friday. Oh yeah, do you want to play?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Albert Park. Yep. 9 holes.

George: Yep, let's do it.

Tommy: It'll be busy.

Josh: Great. I just need to get a—

Tommy: you'll probably have to— you might have to be flexible. You might have to be flexible on the, um, course because, yeah, you're right, George, it will be busy.

Josh: And I'm also— I'm a stickler for rules. Like, I know all the rules. And so I was saying to Bray, I'm like, I need a polo shirt.

George: Oh, definitely need it.

Josh: Like, all of these different—

Tommy: do you wear that shit, George?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, you have to wear a polo shirt. You can't even wear a hat backwards.

Tommy: You can't go to some courses, you don't—

George: they don't care, but just good etiquette, you know.

Jess: Yeah, shoes you're gonna wear as well.

Josh: So this is the thing George and I have spoken about, that you could— I could get some nice sort of golf shoes for $80.

Jess: Yeah, you get the lock laces.

Josh: Didn't think about it, but you're right.

Jess: Um, you're not gonna be able to get any time tomorrow.

Josh: No, no, but actually, I, I'm— so there's some of the things that I don't need to worry about as long as I have one putter, one driver. And if I really get on with Benny, um, my coach, uh, he might upsell something. No. Yeah, well, he will try. Yeah, well, that's why I said— because I said to Bree, I'm like, oh, like, the good thing is that with him training me, he'll be able to suggest what driver and putter. And she's like, oh, so are we going secondhand with the driver and putter, or we get— what's that? I reckon if you're paying $130 for the coach I reckon it's sort of like, um, going to a restaurant in the US. Benny's going to look after me in the pro shop because he knows he's making more cash off coaching me than he is on the driver. He doesn't own the pro shop though, but he's— he probably gets good rates at the pro shop, I'd hope.

Tommy: Okay, that's probably not making crazy margins at the pro shop anyway. So hang on, how did you book Ben?

Josh: Online. It was very easy.

Tommy: You've never— you haven't spoken?

Josh: I haven't spoken to him. Literally scrolled around what I liked about Ben. Very available.

Jess: Um, is that saying something?

Josh: No, no, no, no, actually. And also just his resume, really impressive. Like, a lot of coaching, a lot of— have been— has been at a bunch of golf courses that I know.

Tommy: Um, have you had a PT, Jess?

Jess: Um, just my boxing coach when I was training.

Tommy: How did you— it is an interesting one to decide on these people. I was just thinking about people deciding on me. It's like winning work. I remember landing a client.

Josh: Friendly face. Yeah, seriously, I liked his face.

Tommy: I just had women that wanted to fuck me. Yeah, I was just thinking about all the people that train with me, all women. Oh, Tommy, please.

Josh: It's very funny. It is.

Tommy: But I'll see you. No, I was trying to put my mind in the process of someone wanting to get a coach.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It was clear now.

Jess: Did you do that stretch on them? The one where they're on the ground with their leg back?

Josh: That's what they came for. Um, GB, I mean, you've played more golf. Do you have any—

Jess: well, just like we're trying to segue.

Tommy: I was trying to—

Josh: nah, nah, my fucking—

Tommy: no, no, you've done the thing. Don't do the thing. You literally did the thing.

Josh: You've— I've done well.

Tommy: I'm not gonna say the racist joke, but if I was to say the racist joke, it would be like this. That's what Ricky Gervais does. It's like a way to thread in the thing that you said you're not going to say.

Josh: Yeah, well, you're going to talk about—

Tommy: yeah, yeah, but if a racist joke, it would go something like this, but you can't say that. Do not do that one. Yeah, yeah, don't talk about the golf. But if I was to talk about the golf—

Josh: once you compare it like that, yeah, I don't really want to talk about golf. Um, uh, what's— so we're taking off, uh, from now until Monday. We're back on Tuesday because we got a golf trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'll be— but just think about the— I mean, you brought up the golf. I was just gonna say, imagine the fundraisers we'll be able to do.

George: We still need to play with Jase as well.

Josh: Yes, Jase Hawkins.

George: Remember, he—

Tommy: yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah, that would be good. Um, no, but so we're— it's Easter weekend here in Australia.

Josh: Everywhere. Is it like Christmas?

Tommy: Well, it's—

Jess: yeah, yeah. Jesus died on the one day and then was resurrected.

Josh: It's not like Mother's Day.

Tommy: But we're starting early. But it is.

George: Oh, you know, it is Easter everywhere.

Tommy: It is. It just changes date. Changes date. Every year changes date. But you're saying.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: But for everyone. Australia has Mother's Day on a different day.

Jess: Or Orthodox, it's like.

Josh: What are you talking about?

Tommy: Look, we're getting into the nuance of it.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: We're starting Easter holiday early. America's—

George: Tasmania has an Easter Tuesday.

Tommy: There is some of those dirty little holidays they sneak in, but we probably, we get other—

Josh: Anzac Day not happening this year. Well, it lands on a Sunday.

Tommy: Yeah. Which they used to give you the Monday, but no more. Jess even put that into the calendar.

Jess: And then I realised my horrible mistake.

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: Getting everyone excited. But I mean, next year it's exciting because we'll have the public holiday. It's going to land on a Monday.

Tommy: We're taking the 4 days off, which is we're doing this tactfully and, um, strategically, because then it pushes our 1,000 out to Friday of next week, which it would have landed on a Wednesday. That's why.

George: Are we sure about that? Now I'm just doing the maths. 92 today, 93 Wednesday, 94 Thursday, 95 Friday.

Tommy: Have we fucked it?

George: How did that happen?

Tommy: I don't know.

Josh: I mean, you, you did the numbers.

Tommy: No, but we all did the numbers, remember? I just read it.

George: Was it 94 today?

Tommy: No.

George: What episode is it now?

Jess: What episode is it?

Tommy: Yeah, I've lost it.

George: I think it's 93.

Josh: We fucked it. I think it's 99.

Tommy: No, no.

Josh: This is F99. Yeah.

George: 992.

Tommy: This is great.

Jess: Oh, no.

George: We have to quickly do 4 episodes right now.

Tommy: This is great.

Jess: Oh, no.

Tommy: So, how does that happen? Did— Because we counted it. No, because we landed on the 9th being the day.

Josh: I think that that's what happened. You just— You told us.

Tommy: No, no, no, you guys redid it because I— you couldn't— I couldn't be trusted. Remember how you guys redid it? No, that upstairs. Oh yeah, yeah, that was because it— because I couldn't be trusted.

Josh: So what's happened?

George: Oh no, it's only the first now.

Jess: Oh, wait, wait, wait, what's the date? What number?

Josh: 92, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96.

George: Oh no.

Jess: So we need to do— so '92, '93, '94, '95.

Josh: How have we done that?

Tommy: You know what, guys, we've got a weekend to think about this and come back.

George: But either way, but it will be on the 9th.

Jess: No, '90—

Josh: if we bank a few hours— '93, '94, '95, fucked up so bad— '96, '97, '98, '99. Thursday the 15th.

Jess: Oh no.

George: Oh my God.

Tommy: Well, either way, we're taking this weekend off, so let's just insert that we're doing Ep 1000 when it falls.

Josh: That's really disappointing, isn't it?

Tommy: Well, only because we'd started thinking a lot about that date. It was in the calendar, wasn't it?

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: Wait, wait, wait, we've missed the '97 here.

George: No, that's because you're—

Tommy: Anyway, let's take this offline. Either way, it's Easter weekend and we're— I'll take back what I said, which was—

Josh: Is it because we included weekends?

Tommy: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. When it got recalculated, it might have—

George: No, because I think you're in the ones that you've already played. Oh, you don't listen to the show, do you? All right.

Tommy: Either way, we're coming back next Tuesday. Uh, which is—

Josh: so Ep 1000 will be a different day though, which we—

Tommy: we—

Josh: I mean, who just picked up on that?

George: Was that you, George?

Josh: Okay, good work, George. Well done, George. That would have been annoying either way. You know what, enjoy your day, guys. We'll find out what's going on. See you on the course.