Avocado Crime

Josh: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad.

Tommy: That's crazy. We've committed to do The Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Josh: Hi guys. Hi guys.

Tommy: Put it in the calendar. I just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Josh: It is outrageous.

Tommy: Come on, let's go. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 985.

Josh: Happy Chewy Tuesday, friends.

Tommy: I've forgotten what a treat I actually had. That's nice. Before we get into the Chewies, can I just say Thanks to Yass.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: For sending them today.

Josh: This has come all the way from NSW. New South Wales. When you say NSW, it sounds weird. Yeah.

Tommy: It sounds like a retail shop.

Josh: Not safe work. Not safe work.

Tommy: And do you want to open it?

Josh: Yeah. Didn't you want to get to something?

Tommy: Oh, no. Well—

Josh: What are you going to say?

Tommy: Yeah, I was going to say something and then I thought it was too much of a distraction from the chewies and then—

Josh: Unless it's a 10-minute bit.

Tommy: I was just interested in Orlando Bloom's, uh, what's happening, morning routine.

Josh: What's Orlando?

Tommy: You know how, um, I think Pete Evans may have gotten— who was it that got criticised for the activated almonds?

Josh: I mean, Pete Evans, I really remember the activated almonds thing. Yep.

Tommy: Was it Pete Evans?

Josh: Yeah, he's doing the activated almonds thing.

Tommy: Uh, Orlando Bloom's being, uh, slammed online for his morning routine with all the different things.

Josh: Activated almonds or no?

Tommy: It's like there's some chanting, some green smoothies.

Josh: Leave them alone, it's fine. I had a green smoothie this morning, I wasn't chanting. Um, okay, anyway, so this was, um, sent a little while back, it's finally got here. Thank you, Yas. It's, uh, this is her niece's, I think, oh, her niece's favourite gum. I've never seen this. What is that?

Tommy: Airheads gum. It sort of looks like aeroplane jelly.

Josh: All right. I'm going to throw you. Oh, that's going to be sick.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: It's blue raspberry.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. This is going to—

Josh: We've done the watermelon to death. I'm looking forward to trying that one, though. But let's try blue raspberry.

Tommy: Yeah, this looks interesting. Do you know which company makes it?

Josh: I'm going to guess. Nestlé? No, that was the banter in the office yesterday.

Tommy: There's a little open thing, which is nice.

Josh: Parafin?

Tommy: Yeah, I'm not sure.

Josh: So, this is— Maybe it's a New South Wales thing. Or there's a little shop close by that is doing some imports.

Tommy: Interestingly, when you open the, the experience is really nice. Look at that. So, it's like, how would you just— Oh, you are going to love this. Oh, yum.

Josh: Sikkim.

Tommy: Play more. Play delicious is the tagline. I'm just going to—

Josh: I tell you what, there's no tagline. That I'm going to buy Chewy over.

Tommy: So what do you mean?

Josh: Like, as in, like, you know, once you pop, you can't stop. Like, there's— it's just stickiness of the name that gets you then thinking about it.

Tommy: Some—

Josh: hard, hard to be that person that comes up with some solid branding of a, you know, like a once you pop, you can't stop.

Tommy: Also hard to get them out of the— have you smelt it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it smells. What does it smell like?

Josh: It smells like a lolly and there's a strip down the middle of something. Oh, I like it. Soft. And then look at that. Look at that. I think it is a lolly down the middle.

Tommy: I think this is my favorite.

Josh: That's amazing.

Tommy: Is there— was there no sugar?

Josh: No, there's 5 calories per serve.

Tommy: That's fine. Yum. Blue raspberry, 14 sugar-free sticks.

Josh: If I give one to Bodhi, he's gonna lose his mind.

Tommy: Wow, that was really yum.

Josh: Well, um, we'll get to the, uh, watermelon off camera, but actually let's do it today.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm going.

Josh: Fuck it. Um, I've opened a case. Um, I'm a detective. I've opened a case on the— my local, um, uh, greengrocer. Yeah, fruit shop man doing a bit of drugs or something.

Tommy: Wow.

Josh: No, no, he's not. I wish, I wish. We, um— I sent to our group chat yesterday An epic nacho dish that I made.

Tommy: That looks amazing.

Josh: Real good.

Tommy: How do you microwave the foil?

Josh: It was— I use foil in a tray because, uh, for cleaning purposes.

Tommy: That's really good.

Josh: Getting off cheese from a tray is the worst.

Tommy: But don't you have to worry about accidentally eating the foil?

Josh: Nah, not at all, because I'm not 4 years old. What about 4?

Tommy: Like, I sometimes worry if I'm using a fork with foil that I'm gonna eat Yeah, but I'm up for the challenge. Yeah.

Josh: And so I— yeah, sure, play the game, you eat foil, but it's all part of it. Shit it out, you know. But avocado is a good— I mean, important ingredient in nachos. It's on top, you don't cook with it. People who cook avocado are fucking tweaked.

Tommy: It's weird. You know, I actually heard— I was watching Gordon Ramsay make some Mexican food last night.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he said, oh, you know, we're using chipotle here. And he's like, you know, the chillies, do you know the longer you dry them? Sorry, the longer you leave them in from a cooking perspective. So, say you're cooking, the longer you cook, the hotter it's going to be. Did you know that?

Josh: Well, I kind of intuitively did because remember how I was telling you I was cooking with chipotle chillies and I bought the can that wasn't just the pureed version that's not hot. Just tastes like smoky chipotle, but the whole chilies in the can, the whole chipotle chili. I took them out of the food as it's cooking because I'm like, that's going to— that's either going to— I think my logic was that they would fall apart and then just the whole dish would be fucked.

Tommy: Well, he said he's like, the Mexicans, they know what's up. They, they meet the hot heat of the spice with cool ingredients. A fire blanket with your avocado, sour cream, or cheese.

Josh: Like, he paints the picture, doesn't he? He's great. It's like a commentator of a sport.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: They just know how to— They know the words.

Tommy: And he also, he created a Mexican egg dish. And I thought this was clever. He sort of had the bed of it, which was beans and all this tomatoey stuff. And then he used the egg in its entirety to create little holes that he could then crack the eggs into, which is clever.

Josh: I messed up once. I saw it's probably on Instagram or Facebook. I saw someone cut an avocado in half. Crack an egg into the hole with it.

Tommy: Pinterest is big on Pinterest.

Josh: Dude, you tell me one success storey of that, I'll fucking give you some air time.

Tommy: So, what's the fruit shop case? So, the avocados.

Josh: So, real problem with avocados in Melbourne at the moment. Not sure if you're across it. I don't know if it's like a legit problem, but you've got your dark skin ones and your green skin ones. I don't know the names. I just know the colours. One's good and I've always thought one was bad. The dark one's good. The lighter green one I haven't liked.

Tommy: Well, the lighter green ones, I think the idea is maybe they, you can eat them in all seasons, like they're just average all the time.

Josh: Well, I saw a mate of mine, Fitzie, he posted, and you know something's had some bad branding associated with it when someone posts just saying, guys, give them another go.

Tommy: Oh, really?

Josh: And it was the light green skinned avocados. I've got one right here. This is what they look like.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So, last night Amy couldn't get one that was ripe or ready to eat from the supermarket.

Tommy: Do you know how they do it in the supermarket? How you like the ripe versus the unripe ones?

Josh: Hand.

Tommy: So, yeah, you can, you touch them, obviously. But also, they put the ripe, really ripe ones at the bottom. So, if you're making guava, I don't know where I learnt this, but if you make it—

Josh: It would make sense.

Tommy: They put all the ones that were— So, at the very bottom, they're the softest ones, which I thought was interesting. Yeah.

Josh: So, like—

Tommy: The ripest. They don't pile up on each other the way they have them sort of designed, is it sort of—

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Yeah. And so, at the bottom.

Josh: So, this is one that Amy went to get from the fruit shop and she's like, darling, she took like half an hour in the supermarket. I was waiting with Bodhi in the car. Bodhi's, where's mum? I'm like, I know. And so we went and found her, and I saw she was at the fruit shop, and she got 2 avocados. And she put the trust in this man, the fruit man, and said, yeah, we just need some. And he said, do you want to eat them tonight? And we said, yep. Oh, Amy said yep. And so she bought 2 avocados, $6 in total, $3 each, which is like, it's, that's standard, but standard in Melbourne, standard. But like, I still am like wincing every time, like, oh, fuck, I want wish this was a buck or 2 bucks. She got them home, she told me that, and I felt it. I was like, this guy sold us a car with, you know, a faulty engine. Like him saying, yeah, yeah, take these for tonight, feel this, just have a little feel. I know this is—

Tommy: he's trying to roll it across.

Josh: Try and roll an avocado. It rolls back to you.

Tommy: Oh, it feels very soft.

Josh: Dude, Amy gave it to me.

Tommy: This is bruised.

Josh: This bloke has knowingly— A fruit shop man. Don't push it too hard because you'll bruise it even more.

Tommy: Are you— You're not going to take this back as evidence, are you?

Josh: I— Well—

Tommy: Have you cut into it?

Josh: No, that was what we got given.

Tommy: But maybe he's excited, like, this could be— Can we cut it or no? No, no.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: I just feel like it actually, if it's not brown, it is actually the perfect avocado because this is what you want, like when you're making guac. You want it to be really soft and ripe. So, I think he's potentially given you something very premium, but let's find out. TJ's got— It's lost the little nub on the top.

Josh: I just pulled it off.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Pulled off the knob.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: So—

Tommy: Or cut it in half.

Josh: In my mind, that is a butchered avocado and we've been handed over a product that is not— Like in my mind, I'm like, this guy knows. He wants to get rid of his fruit. And veg that is about to go off because he's not getting money back from the farmer. I wonder how that works, actually. It's not—

Tommy: I don't know if that's—

Josh: Okay. Okay.

Tommy: So, beautiful.

Josh: Good colour.

Tommy: It's really good. Like, you could imagine this is the type of avocado that you would see spread on some bread.

Josh: On Pinterest. So, I'll tell you, there was another one I said there was two. Yeah. Putrid.

Tommy: It tastes like— So, were you annoyed that this one that actually looks okay?

Josh: That is the best one out of the two. That's why I brought it into work. But can you try it on a spoon, on that fork and just tell me? Because there's the taste about avocado when it hits your mouth and you're like, oh.

Tommy: Well, I've had blue raspberry and watermelons.

Josh: But I think you— I think, yeah, it's clean. It's cleaned.

Tommy: Here you go.

Josh: Alright, here we go. This could be good. Wait for the taste, the aftertaste. That's where it comes in. It's always there after you've had the avocado. Something's going on. Talk to me.

Tommy: I like it.

Josh: You like it?

Tommy: Yeah, I think you could add a little lemon.

Josh: Little lemon.

Tommy: Add some spring onions.

Josh: So, there's no case to be found.

Tommy: No, it's actually really good. What were you worried about? That he was—

Josh: No, because the taste of the other— I opened the other one, which was—

Tommy: Let's— I think it tastes like something. Do you want to say what we think it tastes like? In 3, 2, 1.

Josh: Avocado.

Tommy: Can you taste like a, a cummy taste?

Josh: How do you know that?

Tommy: You know, it's like that chloriney—

Josh: So you say it tastes like the smell?

Tommy: Yeah. Hang on. Oh no, you just flipped it over. That won't— Yep.

Josh: Yeah, there's something about it, dude.

Tommy: Taste it. Maybe that's avocado.

Josh: No, no, there's an aftertaste to that. Sorry, that's a waste of $3 in my eyes.

Tommy: And so is this. So your mate that posted about the avocados. Yeah. Are you getting that? Not that, like, you're not getting it?

Josh: No, not the one you're saying, but there's definitely something there. Just, it's an aftertaste of an avocado.

Tommy: Is it yoky?

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. It's like eggy. Well, yeah, because egg can stay in your mouth and has that sort of taste. Yeah, dude.

Tommy: You don't like it. And so what are you going to do about it? Just not go back?

Josh: Nothing. Just talk the pitch about it on this podcast.

Tommy: And so did you learn anything from it? So these are the ones that your mate was saying, give them another go?

Josh: Yes. And I've learnt, don't give them another go.

Tommy: Did you message him?

Josh: No, I've actually unfriended him. Absolutely not. I'll send him this podcast, Fitzie. Mate, you've lost your mind. You buy them rock hard and next day they're gone. They're back, they're soft and then it's too late. It's like they ripen overnight when they know you could be eating them.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Anyway.

Tommy: Gordon Ramsay, actually, one of his cool hacks, he created this like Mexican soup and then he got, you know, like tortilla chips. Have you ever made tortilla chips?

Josh: No, but I've— Not tortilla chips, like the Mexican vibe, but I've got flatbread, salt and pepper, garlic, like wiped over it. Yum. Olive oil drizzled, put it in, got them crispy.

Tommy: Yeah. So, he did that. He like store-bought tortillas, lay them out, you put some like paprika or something, something red or whatever, put it in the oven for a few minutes. They go nice and crispy. They looked really good, actually.

Josh: Dude. Mate, I saw a— the best, it must be his daughter, Gordon Ramsay. The TikTok. Did you see that? Where he's— she's got some ball and she's like trying to put it into the bottle and then she's like, smashes the ball on the lid of the open lid of the bottle that has water in it and holds it down next to it like a magic trick. And then he looks in it and she squeezes it and then smashes an egg. Oh no, that's what she's holding, an egg. She's holding an egg to put it into the bottle like a magic trick. Watch this, Dad. I'll put an egg into a bottle. You can't get it through that hole. Yes, you can. And she fucks him up.

Tommy: There's a real taste of that avocado. Yeah, dude. Gordon Ramsay and his daughter, they do a lot of fun stuff like that. Do they? Yeah. It's like they're— He appears in most of them. He's jacked, mate. Really looks after himself. Could have been what Simon Cowell could have looked like.

Josh: He broke his back, didn't he?

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. He also went real hard on—

Josh: Did he?

Tommy: All the, um, face stuff, you know.

Josh: Oh yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Do you remember seeing the photos?

Josh: Yeah. You can go both ways with a lot of money.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: You can really just abuse it in the worst possible way.

Tommy: If a plastic surgeon said, hey, TJ would love to give you something.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Uh, one, one sort of, uh, what would you call it?

Josh: A procedure. Yeah, yeah, elective.

Tommy: Um, or would you say my mate Josh needs a nose job?

Josh: No, it like would have to be visual, like you could see it.

Tommy: We can't fix personality.

Josh: Well, well, you know, do you have to be able to see it? Like, is it a nose job? Is it—

Tommy: That could be anything. Okay, can I guess? So something that's not visible.

Josh: Oh, plastic surgery. Yeah, I guess that's— Yeah, no, no, I've got it.

Tommy: Is it injecting something?

Josh: No, no.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: I'm not one of those fuckheads.

Tommy: Now, what is that?

Josh: I would, just because it falls under it, get a nose job to realign it because I got punched and it's kind of like slightly off and I need to fix the sinuses because it's got that deviated septum. I think it's got— No, not deviated septum. It's like something. Is that it?

Tommy: Yeah, I think so. George, didn't he say that?

Josh: Oh yeah, that's right.

Tommy: Half the population have deviated.

Josh: But then I worried about celebrities that snort so much coke that they fucking deviate or something. Anyway, I'd get that, get that sorted. It is one of those things like going, opting to— so I could go and get my like one side, other side, so different, dude. And I got punched from this side, broke that, broke the nose in that bar. And this side you can feel like a callous bone from where it's recovered.

Tommy: Have you ever thought about, um, do you snore?

Josh: Well, for some reason I've been snoring a bit lately. Amy's pulled me up. It's because she's sleeping light. So, maybe I've just been getting away with it for a long time.

Tommy: Would you try and experiment for me? What? It's very inexpensive. So, I was watching a YouTuber that's been taping his mouth shut at night.

Josh: That's the funniest. That is the dumbest Shit.

Tommy: What? No, it's actually really good because think about it, breathing through your nose. You were telling me, was it? I feel like I was doing some breathing exercises and you were saying, ah, breathe through your nose. I can't remember what that was about.

Josh: But yeah, a lot of the go-to breathing practises aren't inhaling through your mouth.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: You go through your mouth and you might be able to let it out through your mouth.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Let it go in through your nose, let it out through your mouth. Yeah. Anyway.

Tommy: Would you actually just for one night? Just for one night? That could be fun.

Josh: No way. What if it went bad? Like, what if—

Tommy: So, you can actually go to the pharmacist and get lip tape, like specifically designed for this. Write to thedailytalkshow.com if you've done this.

Josh: And so, what's the lip tape for snoring? Here we go. Oh my God. It's like a full... That is the dumbest thing. He looks just like he's got a little white mouth. Mm-hmm.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: It's so stupid. You can then get a chin and mouth strap. I understand that. Other things where you put some, it looks like earplugs, but you put them into your nostrils. I think there's almost like anti-snoring sleep stickers, Gentle Mouth from eBay. It's definitely like—

Tommy: You don't want them from eBay, do you?

Josh: No. Why, dude? It seems like it's like a bunch of—

Tommy: I feel like they would be made of asbestos.

Josh: I know. It feels like factories have just gone, well, that sells. Let's fucking make shitloads of that. Next month. But you've got—

Tommy: Getting the good one, like if you got the good ones from the pharmacist, I think it would be fun for you to try because he actually woke up. Ali Abdel was the guy who did it. He woke up feeling refreshed.

Josh: Because breathing through his mouth.

Tommy: Yes. Through his nose. Like, he felt like dry. He always woke up dry, and so he covered that.

Josh: Like, yeah.

Tommy: I've actually been thinking about getting a sleeping device.

Josh: What kind?

Tommy: One that would help with my temperature. Oh. The Chilli Pad. In the—

Josh: You put into your bed?

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Who was talking about that recently? Fuck. Someone was asked. What do you do? It was a fighter. Yeah, it was a UFC fighter, swears by this thing in his bed.

Tommy: It has like water or whatever, you know, like, so I was looking at it and then there seems— It looked like a sleep apnoea device, like it looked very sort of medical. You put water into this plumbing thing, like this sort of box that then has these tubes and it feeds through and you can get a half queen. Version, so your partner can be on the other side, side not feeling anything, and you can have your temperature dialled in.

Josh: And so, yeah, I mean, athletes use them. Josh Jansen uses them.

Tommy: I mean, it's a classic. I just feel—

Josh: how much are they?

Tommy: Under $500.

Josh: I mean, that's pretty reasonable if it's like changing your sleep.

Tommy: I just run hot, but then I thought about it. I'm like, you know what, first step just having a fully cold shower before going to bed, and that will just regulate a little bit.

Josh: It'll bring your core temperature right down.

Tommy: Because I do— I have been feeling lately that just so sweaty when I wake up. I don't know what's happening.

Josh: Interesting.

Tommy: Do you sweat?

Josh: Uh, yeah, but I run real hot, but I'm usually leg out or completely out. Sleeping with the window open last night was heaven for a little bit, just with the rain pitter-pattering.

Tommy: Police raids or anything?

Josh: No police, right? Just heaven until 1 AM when Bodhi comes in screaming. So anyway, that's the deal.

Tommy: I mean, there is something so soothing about the rain.

Josh: Well, you can use it. I've never got around the sound effect thing, like playing the rain sounds. It's nice for a little bit, but then I I guess if you struggle sleeping, I don't think we're two blokes that struggle sleeping. And so it's a real issue.

Tommy: But even I've made the mistake of doing sort of a rain sound effect, but then, or like a thunderstorm. But the problem is, is it's just playing everything. So thunderstruck.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Thunder.

Josh: Just like, just like a Spotify playlist of songs that have thunder in them.

Tommy: So it's not a great solution in that one.

Josh: I gotta run. Amy's just called me.

Tommy: Okay. Which, which Chewy do you think is your favorite?

Josh: Definitely the blue raspberry. Yes, that is crazy good. But like crazy naughty good. I can't eat that all the time. Like, I'd be sick.

Tommy: Tastes like a school canteen.

Josh: It does. It tastes like a fun park. Tastes like a carnival in your mouth.

Tommy: Where are they from? Did, did you say? Well, are they from like any specific supermarket?

Josh: She didn't mention it.

Tommy: Airheads gum.

Josh: Airheads gum. Here we go, guys. If you're trying to get into chewies, Joy's Delight, you can buy them, you can buy them online, $3.50 a pack from Australia. That sounds—

Tommy: can you buy them like at a normal supermarket?

Josh: Candy Time USA Foods. Oh, they must be American. They're at USA Foods. The same playful, tangy Airheads flavours you love, now in every stick of Airheads gum. Must be American.

Tommy: That's really good. Thanks everyone. Thanks, Janice.

Josh: Thanks guys.

Tommy: Have a good one. We'll see you tomorrow.

Josh: See you guys.