Problem-Solving & Christmas Anxiety

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 924.

Tommy: Happy hump day, Gronks. What's happening? What is going on?

Josh: It's the 25th of November, which means one month until Christmas.

Tommy: Wow, it is. I mean, Bodhi's been— my son's been waking up every morning. It's because in the— because when I put him to bed, I whisper in his ear and I just say, on the— I say, um, we're going to Nana's. At Christmas and we're doing a drive and a, you know, we're doing a road trip. I go through the whole day of what it'll look like.

Josh: Every night.

Tommy: I have for the last couple of nights, but the problem is he wakes up saying, are we going to Nana's now? So it's, no, no, son, another couple of weeks, another couple of weeks. Mate, it is nearly the end of the year.

Josh: I can't see the end. Can you? Like, it's this weird feeling where I know that there's only, you know, we've only got 3 or 4 weeks until it's sort of like, you know, everyone's on leave.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: It feels a bit ridiculous.

Tommy: Well, it's— Yeah. Well, right now people have got a lot of momentum, if any, if they've had any in Melbourne, just based on opening up. So, it's— You're feeling like there's not going to be a slowdown again because we've been so slow this year. Andy has written in the YouTube comments quite a— fun little quirky anecdotal sort of little thing. I want to read it out.

Josh: A riddle, maybe?

Tommy: A riddle. Well, I mean, he says, 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die. I don't know. I know the Kevin Bacon thing has just been referenced many times. I don't know.

Josh: I thought it was more bacon, like don't get rid of bacon.

Tommy: Ah, well, Kevin Bacon is like that. 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon is a thing.

Josh: Yeah, but I thought that it could— So, if you think about it's all about the last names. So, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, Steve Jobs.

Tommy: I get those. Cash, Jobs, Bacon. No Cash, no Hope, no Jobs.

Josh: No Bacon.

Tommy: Which is very relevant to this year. But then I just looked up anecdotes or quotes reflecting this year, so 2020, which is kind of what you're saying. It says, one of them I found, 1977, they used to say stayin' alive. 2020, stayin' alive. What's another one? 2020 verb: when you screw things up beyond belief. Example: Chad's car hit a pole and knocked out power. And well, long storey short, the 2020 2020'd.

Josh: He's reading out memes.

Tommy: And now a giant squad is destroying the city. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Alright, 2 memes from— Should we do a meme a day?

Tommy: Well, it depends. I mean, yeah.

Josh: I mean, they're going over my head a little bit. Like, it's very hard without the visual. I did see a funny meme.

Tommy: Oh, no, no, these aren't. These are text memes, not, you know, photo memes.

Josh: Yeah, sure. Yeah, I would expect sort of If you're doing photo memes, you would describe the visual.

Tommy: You'd have to. 2020 is every Nic Cage movie without Nic Cage. I mean, they go very bespoke, don't they? I can't believe this even has its own website.

Josh: Can you do one to try and make me laugh? You try and tell a joke or—

Tommy: Um, nah, I've got nothing. We should have stopped at Andy's, to be honest. That was a good one.

Josh: There was a, um, there There was a funny meme that I saw yesterday which was a screen grab of, um, Excel, uh, you know, spreadsheet software.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: And, uh, it was a tweet and then it said, um, Excel finally has stories, like with a love heart. And it's got like the store, like Insta Stories on top of Excel, which is very funny because LinkedIn, everyone's doing Stories now.

Tommy: Ah, yeah.

Josh: See, it's very hard to explain a meme. Well, very hard. That's a very funny meme.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, there's something about memes that you— I mean, they're just a visual.

Josh: Where do you send them to? If you get a funny meme, where do you send it to? Do you have like a group that you send it to or?

Tommy: Just trying to think if I've seen it, because that was such a thing. I reckon it was like a 2012 for me. 2012, no, 2013, 2014, like abusive, the amount of memes you'd send to friends or people. Like, I send videos these days. Like, for instance, I follow this Instagram account called Mad Monday 365, and it's like an Australian page centred around Mad Monday, which is the loose units who have played footy or rugby. The Monday after the season finishes, they just, they go hell for leather. Or if they've lost and they're out of the finals, they go, you know, Monday, they just, I don't know why they chose Monday, but it's quite famous, you know, in Victoria especially and around Australia. But there's just video.

Josh: Is it because, is it Monday, they pick Monday because it's the first weekday off? Like the grand finals finished. What else are they going to do?

Tommy: It's like an RDO. Why is a roster day off in the tradie world falls on a Monday? It's like a legit thing. Every fortnight or every month you get an RDO, and I don't know why it falls on Monday. It's just for the weekend, I guess. But why Monday? Look, that's semantics. The, um, the page just has funny stuff of like just two girls trying to fight a police officer on St. Kilda Beach, and they're in G-strings and they're getting pepper sprayed. It's hilarious. And there's just, you just see everyone just in the background just clapping the police. Like, it's kind of like the worst of the worst. Just people being terrible.

Josh: You definitely can work out, you can sort of in the suggested section of Instagram, you can see when you've been active on the Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: Oh, no, this is mine. This is on my page.

Josh: No, but I mean, I think that—

Tommy: I'm sending these to my brother.

Josh: But I think that the residual effect of you spending any time on the Daily Talk Show does have some form of impact. A lot of lifting weights is what— there's a lot.

Tommy: Oh yeah, yeah, I like, I like, uh, there's— well, no, we follow a few people. So there's a guy, Callum Von Morgan, who looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he's built like a brick shithouse like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Grew up in Victoria, just down the coast, but he's quite a successful bodybuilder. He lives over in the States. But the problem is you follow one of them. And if you're looking through their stuff, it is a weird thing, like dudes into bodybuilders, just admiring a man's physique.

Josh: Like, which you are, you mean you follow?

Tommy: Yeah, no, exactly right. I, you know, when I worked in gyms, hung around with serious bodybuilders, some who had won, you know.

Josh: What's the first thing you look for?

Tommy: Depends on, you You know, the symmetry. Symmetry.

Josh: So you want to make sure that his left bicep is as big as his right? Is that what you're talking about?

Tommy: Well, yeah, I mean, that's, that's the sign of a good physique. You don't have some upper torso that looks like a fucking, you know, a stingray sprawled out, and then the legs are just looking like pins. But anyway, but oh yeah, so maybe I was watching yesterday this guy who's a What he had a video called, uh, um, tell me any other— show me another bodybuilder slash, um, strongman doing this. And then it was just him doing backflips and just shit that you wouldn't think a muscly guy would be doing. Yeah, he's like ginormous. Anyway, I took the— and another guy I follow, um, uh, Atif. Atif, I think it is.

Josh: What's your favourite feature about Atif?

Tommy: Well, Atif, I met, um, he's—

Josh: he was— he was—

Tommy: I don't think he does anymore. He was a ticket inspector. Oh yeah, the people you don't like, the people you don't want just rocking up to your car and putting a ticket on when you're just running to get a coffee. Next minute you've paid $98 for the coffee. But if you came back to your car and Atif was putting a ticket on your car, you would keep your fucking mouth shut because Atif is a pro bodybuilder. You get— you have to win your pro card as a— so you go through some sort of smaller competitions, but then you can enter it, you know, you might qualify for a competition that if you win, you get your pro card. And I've got some friends that have got pro cards, and Natif, who I quickly became friends with based on, um, you're not wanting to fuck with him— he's the friendliest dude though. He'd be walking around always smiling, just like he's just ginormous guns out, just, you know, putting tickets on people's cars. And then I'm— I sort of became friends with him, saw him at Nando's once, had a good chat, made some banter about how he was eating two whole chickens, you know. But then I follow him, and so if I'm listening to his stuff— yeah, he seems good. He seems big. He seems ginormous. Not in the ticket game anymore. What do you think?

Josh: Like, what impresses you the most though? Like, if you were to say, like, if you were to Ah, your favourite feature on a guy? Don't be silly about it. No, no, because this is, this is you. This is what you— stop trying to, um, move away from. No, you do, mate. You're the one that is on Instagram, look like this. Just, yeah. Now, what is your favourite feature?

Tommy: Quads are great. Like, if you've got a good set of quads, you know, it's, um and you can see all 4 of the muscles.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You know, like, it's— that's nice. Also, a good chest. Just—

Josh: Mason talks about his chest a lot.

Tommy: Yeah, Mason's still got a baby chest, though. He hasn't got formed yet. Like, give it a couple of years of some heavy lifting and it'll pop out. But chest and delts. Chest and delts. I mean, I also admire a good back. Really seeing the rhomboids.

Josh: If you can see your rhomboids, just for a guy who was pushing back on it, you've named a fair few bits. What about calf muscles?

Tommy: Uh, yeah, I mean, an impressive pair of calves is impressive. That's why it's— you'd label it impressive. But look, it doesn't— I mean, you can be overweight and have good calves.

Josh: Yeah, sure. Yeah, which I've definitely felt because of the, um Because I'm essentially just walking around with weights type of thing, you know.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, it's abs as well.

Josh: You like abs. It's—

Tommy: You end up just describing the physique you could never have, but you want for yourself.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Anyway, anyway.

Josh: I sent Mason a meme last night. It's someone doing a tweet and says, you either learn to drive at 17 or slash 18, or you're pretty, which I thought was—

Tommy: Well, we know which one he's got.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mason's very pretty.

Tommy: He's a pretty boy. No, he's not a pretty boy. He's pretty and he's a boy, so he is a pretty boy actually. No, just on 2020, what a year, what a year. Listening to some sort of, some of my meditation stuff, and a good thought is what Uh, so, uh, what if you had nothing to solve? So you wake up and you, and you constantly like, it's either problem solving, or if you're lost in thought, you're thinking about stuff that isn't right, what you want to do. And I've just found this quite powerful, which is why I wanted to share with you. It's like thinking, having a moment. And it's not to say that you actually don't have anything to solve, because you might have some shit, especially if you're a maths teacher. You know, or if you're doing a maths class, you need to solve something. So it's not that it's in reality you've got nothing, but giving yourself a moment in each day where you actually let go and think about, okay, what if I have nothing to solve? And you realise how much problem solving you're doing just in a moment where you're not even thinking about needing to solve. You don't think you're, you know, so you're what, you're just sitting down, it's like you get lost in thought thinking about, oh, but I need to do dinner. And think about how much time you've spent— I mean, everyone really— just thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner and that version of problem solving.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So it goes from the small level to like, how do I fucking get out of debt?

Josh: Well, think about editing. Think about like, um, yeah, when we're editing a video, how many clips are you using? How are you forming it all? What are you like there are so many decisions that you're making. I definitely feel that I get to a point where I can't make any more decisions.

Tommy: Hmm, yes, you definitely fatigue in your mind, or you're just like, it's, it's fucking burnt.

Josh: Yeah. And so what is— so what was the meditation? How did it, how did it sort of—

Tommy: it's just embodying the feeling of I don't have anything to solve. And you can pick it up when you're done, pick it up after 10 minutes. But it's that the moment that you can feel inside, or you can have a sensation where it's, you've lot, you've dropped the problem solving sort of, it's, you've taken the foot off that, that pedal.

Josh: Yeah, well, I think that there's, I was talking to mates about it the other day around the social anxiety. For me, social anxiety is a problem problem-solving anxiety around being like, okay, I need to keep the conversation going. I need to do this. I need to be making sure that everyone's comfortable, all that sort of thing. I definitely feel that pressure going into like Christmas parties or events where it's like, whenever I go somewhere, I feel the pressure of the room around like, okay, is everyone having fun? What's going on? Like, is everyone talking? And so, there is an element where if you can say, hashtag, not my problem and just go with it. It feels so weird, though. Have you, like, I've done it before where I've gone to a party or I've gone to an event where I'm like, I'm not going to lead this. I'm just going to sit back. And it feels like I'm being weird. It feels like I'm just like, yeah. What were you going to say?

Tommy: So true. So, it's like, If you're the person who naturally tries to grab hold of the wheel, so, you know, like you were talking about social setting. And so, it's like, for me, it would be if we were going out with friends and no one really thought about where we're doing, and I'd organised, you know, let's go, let's meet here. But then you get the assumed position of you're leading the night.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so, The problem with doing that over and over is that you then try and take over someone else's night, or you like, you go out with friends and then you just, you're trying to spearhead the next move. But that's all problem solving as well. And so, you can get trapped in it. And so, the similar vibe is if I just like, I'm not gonna, I mean, it's even backseat driving if you're with somebody in a car. Like, think about where that comes from. If you're like, no, let's go this way instead of that way.

Josh: It's like all— What about organising? Just like the other thing, like, I remember testing this out where I'm like, I'm always fucking organising everything. I'm just going to not organise anything, see what happens. You just don't do anything. But isn't it funny when people are like, oh, when are we going to do something? It's like, you know, you can organise something as well.

Tommy: There is, but we've all got mates who don't organise shit. And whether you've been the enabler of their non-organization because you've organised it, that's something else to say. But then that's the hard bit when you go, you cut the expectation on other people to organise stuff. That's when we can get into some murky water and you can start getting dark on your mates because they're like, they don't fucking call me.

Josh: That's why I have issues with like too many. Even I felt it like in the middle of the year when we were doing all of the the Friday night drinks, the bigger that these things got, it was so many problems. I was like, because I'm seeing everyone's face. And so, I'm like, is this person happy? Is this— You're having messages with everyone. Like, it becomes— I think that my limit from a social setting, like a table perspective, is 6.

Tommy: Well, I think here's something for you. There's not a chance in hell you would have organised a Friday night drinks in person with 50 people every Friday night. You put it that way, yeah, you're concerned about people you've never met.

Josh: Yeah, we love them.

Tommy: And DJing the whole thing and DJing and getting criticism about the music choices and being a bit pissed. And, you know, it's, it's, um, it's a going through a pandemic as well. Yeah, it is, it is. Now there is a limit. Like, I'm organising a lunch with some mates in a couple of weeks' time and I'm shooting out some text messages and you get a couple of—

Josh: Group message?

Tommy: No, not group messages. It's not big enough to warrant a group message. I don't think that would— I wouldn't like a group message, so I'm not fucking sending a group message.

Josh: And so, when you are doing, when you are organising this, do you feel the pressure? So, when you are organising it, one of the advantages is you can leave out people that give you the shits.. But it can be an unpopular thing to do. So, you— It's this fine line of like not pissing anyone off. This is why— This is the problematic thing of like big groups because it's like the thing with groups, if you think about groups, like using that example, have you got a very specific group where it's like, okay, it's these 4 people or could it be 5, 6, 7?

Tommy: That was up until I was maybe 19. That that was the case where it was, you've got, I think it comes out of school a lot of the time. As in the big groups? Well, the groups, you know, those 4 people that you're with every weekend and it's like, that is the vibe when you're hanging out with the group of the 4. And so, I remember being sort of shunned out of a few of those types of groups. I was like, oh, whatever, and started—

Josh: What happened? How did you get shunned out?

Tommy: Oh, you know, just a few egos flying about, just some insecurities. Ends up full circle, me sort of running another circle over here where that ends up being from one circle to the other.

Josh: Exactly, where they really respect triceps and fucking abs.

Tommy: Just, you know, they appreciate some good traps, you know. That's what we want. No, but, um, the feeling of then it was the feeling of, oh well, if I don't— if I have— if I invite him, I have to invite him. Nowadays I haven't seen enough people consistently that we don't— there's no group. So I just— it's just like a random whoever's in my space at this moment. So it doesn't mean anything. If you're upset you haven't been invited to a lunch, just ask, can I come?

Josh: I'm never doing that.

Tommy: No, but that's what I'm saying. I don't— I don't— I don't have anyone that would be upset. Or ask me that. So pretty safe.

Josh: Nah, that's all good. I got the shit on. When is it? The 12th. We're getting beers at the pub. I've got something the 12th every month for the next year, which is crazy.

Tommy: But beers at the pub, mate. Yeah.

Josh: Oh, that'd be fun. Which pub are you going to?

Tommy: Mount Erica. Oh yeah, it's a—

Josh: what are they known for?

Tommy: Oh, to be honest, so a friend of mine owns it, but I—

Josh: okay, it's—

Tommy: we're not getting any handouts. Um, we— it's— I saw— this is why I'm going there, to be honest. I saw on Instagram someone post a photo of the schnitzel, and I'm fucking—

Josh: it looks good.

Tommy: It looked, you know, that sort of— you get this sort of like slurry salad with it. Oh, just the crumb on it. Krumm looked amazing. I mean, that sold me. That sold me.

Josh: What do you— I don't think we've discussed what you eat over Christmas. Like, do you crave certain things? What's Christmas Day look like?

Tommy: I mean, last year, bacon eggs in the morning. That's been a thing somehow. Actually, just because we're up at Amy's mum's place, she loves to get stuck into that. But there's just a lot of lint. You know, chocolate hanging around in bowls.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And there's, you know, there's fucking Toblerone, the Next Minute chocolate coated raspberries there. You don't even like Toblerone that much, let's be honest. Be honest with yourself. Yeah, you eat it because it's there. It's good chocolate, tastes good. Those bits get stuck in your teeth though.

Josh: What the fuck are they?

Tommy: That's very important. It's a tough nougat, um, and weird shape, you know. What's going on with that? Why? Why?

Josh: That's very true. I mean, yeah, I'm trying to think of the savoury-wise. Turkey with mayonnaise. Turkey with mayonnaise? Yeah, yeah. It's really good. Yeah. I don't have turkey any other time of the year outside. But the other thing, too, is I saw it once and it comes in like a log or something. You know those ones?

Tommy: That is a version of it. Yeah.

Josh: Or you can do a full turkey type of thing. Yeah.

Tommy: It's, yeah, definitely turkey. So, the things that you don't— I mean, mate, I've never been a fan of Christmas pudding.

Josh: Never. What is it, caramel? I don't even know what Christmas pudding is.

Tommy: No, Christmas pudding.

Josh: I don't know what it is. Rum.

Tommy: It's got like, you know, the ones that are upside down and then they pour fucking rum on them.

Josh: Yeah, I think I've never— I think we had them back in the day.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But I never, never had them.

Tommy: No good. I mean, people love it.

Josh: I mean, those like the Cadbury stockings, smash a few of them.

Tommy: Oh yeah, Advent calendars. I mean, that's— they're going to be rolled out next week. Start from 1st of December, get your Advent calendar.

Josh: Yeah, I'm trying to think like the— I mean, you know, I didn't drink for the first, you know, 28 years of my life, just started drinking. What is the— What do you drink during Christmas? Like, are you an eggnog guy?

Tommy: Last year, nothing. Last year, nothing.

Josh: Oh, sure.

Tommy: Because I wasn't drinking. This year, I can't drink on Christmas Day. I'm too tired, man. For some reason, I'm always tired on Christmas Day. Just lethargic, you know.

Josh: Yeah, it's just there's so many social things, isn't it?

Tommy: Just lethargic. That's the Christmas spirit.

Josh: Think about— here's an idea. Not doing the social and family things on Christmas, doing it within the month, but just sort of, maybe that sort of means that it spreads out longer. What do I want? It would.

Tommy: You don't want to do it. That's why it doesn't mean doing it earlier makes it feel different. There is a different pressure, though. We've had a Christmas in July that felt better than any Christmas we've had. Which I think it's just like no stress. It's just was a bit impromptu, like get it together within a week. And then next minute everyone's like in the vibe, in a right vibe. Whereas Christmas Day, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Well, you know, it's—

Josh: For me, if I think about it, it's like the new shirt. Like I've got a new shirt that I'm wearing, like a collared shirt. So, I put that on, feel like a top dog, you know. Yeah. And then there's normally some sort of anxiety about me leaving. And so, then Bri will probably crack it and she'll go get coffee and then she'll be like, be ready when I'm back because we've got to leave. And then I'll probably, if I had some sort of gift. So, for instance, I mean, the bike's going to be coming a lot earlier than that, but Yeah, getting obsessed on things or just working on stuff. I think a few years ago, maybe 3 years ago, it was like my YouTube channel. I was looking after my YouTube channel on Christmas Day. Yeah, I just, yeah, I definitely feel like I was doing that sort of stuff. And then I remember, um, oh, I remember one Christmas we, um, that it was cash only, I think. At the coffee shop.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. A lot of cafes do that. Cash only on Christmas Day.

Josh: Because they do like, I think they donate it.

Tommy: You mean they don't donate the tax money that they need to pay on it?

Josh: Yeah, I don't know.

Tommy: Well, it was all like, you might be going to the nice one, but I just know a few that like to keep, you know, get a nice $1,000 that day because it's so busy in the mornings.

Josh: And they deserve it this year. The me coughing just reminds me walking this morning, had my big water bottle, started choking on my water. Not a good look during COVID And so, I ended up just like, ended up actually going off the path and went into the middle of the road and coughed there with my leg open because I was just worried that there's people on both sides of the path. I just didn't, I'd prefer to get hit by a car than have someone go, can you not cough? Very stressful.

Tommy: You'd get a bit aggressive inside. The walking with a water bottle, necessary?

Josh: Yeah, if you want to stay hydrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have it because it just, it's a good way of unconsciously drinking, you know, it's a good way of getting it in. I put on a podcast, 2 podcast recommendations. One is, Hidden Brain is a great podcast. They just did a— What was that? Where was the program? Still finding it. But the podcast episode was all about gratitude. So, I listened to that. And then the other thing I've been listening to is Scott Galloway. He's got a book called Post-Corona. Interesting dude. He was the guy who wrote The Four. Which was the, um, the book about— it's like Facebook, Apple, Google, and Amazon.

Tommy: Oh, the Big Four.

Josh: The Big Four. The Big Four.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Um, and so, uh, yeah, but he was just on, uh, James Altucher's podcast, and they were talking about, you know, what the future could look like. Um, Scott Galloway thinks that, uh, Airbnb are primed to pivot into the, um, commercial real estate space. Interesting, which is, uh, interesting.

Tommy: And I would, I would destroy it.

Josh: So like, so yeah, just like being able to rent spaces and stuff. But they also, um, the Airbnb are about to IPO, and so they, um, yeah, it's, it's, uh, it's interesting. I, I, the thing with, uh, the market, like all this, like you hear, um, Trump saying, oh, you know, the Dow 30,000 points or whatever, whatever the fuck it is, but the, um I find it hard to— like, I have no idea on this stuff. I don't understand it at all. And then I think about— I'm like, but like, the detriment— there's so much obsession over that stuff. But it's like, if people are dying, if all this other stuff's happening, like, is it really a celebration? Is it really? Like, it's pretty fucked up.

Tommy: If you're a billionaire, I think you've got a pretty laser-focused reality to your side of the equation versus the other side.

Josh: I watched Melania Trump get the Christmas tree delivered yesterday.

Tommy: That sounds like a good use of time. Where can people find that?

Josh: Yeah, it's just on YouTube, the White House YouTube channel. She's just sort of standing there as they— Do you know how the Christmas tree comes? Guess.

Tommy: In a box.

Josh: No.

Tommy: Or in a tube.

Josh: No, no, it's a fuck-off, like it's a real one. A real one. Yeah, probably won't guess. Now, horse and cart. Yeah, horse and cart.

Tommy: So American taxpayer money going to somewhere.

Josh: They do all the stuff, like there's so many weird things that happen in the White House, like even not relating to Trump, but just in general. They do the turkeys But they have turkeys that they pardon or whatever. So, turkeys that aren't going to die on Thanksgiving. Have you seen this? If you type in turkey pardon, you can watch the video of—

Tommy: Turkey pardon 2020. Oh, my God. It's Trump with a turkey. Those things are huge. Imagine if it just jumped on his face. Savaged him. Jesus. Anyway.

Josh: Anyway. Anyway. Alright. It's a daily talk show. Enjoy the rest of your day and we'll see you tomorrow, guys. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you, guys.