#818 – Steph Tisdell On Comedy & Culture/
- August 11, 2020
Steph Tisdell – Comedian
Steph is a comedian known for her work at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala, Hughesy We Have A Problem, The Project, and for winning the 2014 Deadly Funny National Grand Final.
Steph is also a part of the Aboriginal Comedy All Stars line-up and performed at Edinburgh Fringe and London’s Soho Theatre.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Steph’s bird, Albie
– 2020 and being a comedian
– Steph’s first time on stage as a comedian
– What goes into a comedy set
– Bringing Aboriginal heritage into comedy
– Deadly Funny
– Off the cuff and thought out comedy
– Shame, guilt and comedy
– Learning to love myself
– Friendship circles
– Learnings from 2020
Steph’s website: https://www.stephtisdell.com/
Steph on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephtisdellcomedy
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 818. And we've got a special guest comedian Steph Tisdale joining us from Brizzy with a bird on her shoulder.
I'm good thanks. It follows 818 By the way, that is Saturday. Yeah, it is. It's crazy. I mean, I mean, that's normal to us. Is it normal for the bird for you having a bird on your shoulder? Can you paint the picture for our listeners? Well, I've got this bird with my partner. How long ago did we get she have a mountain okay. He's obsessed with my mouth. This is gonna be the entire podcast.
him at my mouth. We bought him about a month ago. He thinks he owns the joint. He's kind of right. Like he's so spoiled. And my cat right here as well.
Getting a bird and a cat. Is that is that risky business? No, this cat Well, I've got this is the best cat in the world. And she's all too and he loves her. But she shits getting him which is you know funny because doesn't isn't what would happen in the wild? I mean, it's nice to see you at the four week friendship of what it could be with a bird. I mean, you're already on kissing terms. How is the bird when you purchase the bird? What is it trying to do? You have? Slightly I mean, he's picking it your ears
have you know how much training you have to do for bird?
He was hand read. And which means from a baby he was like, Oh my god, stop it. I'll be
Oh, this is ridiculous. Which means yes, so he was hand read. So when he came out of his little egg he was like, held and looked after by humans.
that's it's gone now
on this one now that's what you saw. The bird is what's what's the birds name? Are you saying LD lb
I wanted to name him Michael Parkinson and potty for sure. Yeah. A pocket parrot. Yeah. And then be like Michael Parkinson when he was being naughty but so is this what you expected? I mean being in Brizzy I think like you were in Victoria so shoots obviously hit the fan and we're all at home What is it like for you being a stand up comedian in 2020
It's a bit shit
missing crowds like sorry, this is how I have to go You look like a DJ you've currently a particular writing Do you need to put put Alby away or is it is it like that?
You're good. Oh my stop it
if you don't if you're not watching this
and so, and so 2020 Did you think that you're gonna have a bird or is this a purchase
Now, you know,
this is what I'm supposed to do to this, right? This is like when a parent losing their mind, kidney just sort of watch step by
step up not to fight but step up to a hand she's saying step up.
stepped up. There we go now
There we go. That's perfect. So 2020 give us a bit of a monologue on 2020 How you feeling What's going on? Well, I just it just kind of
sucks because like, like this is so self indulgent I recognise that right but this was supposed to be my year to finally break through and I'll put it bluntly, I was gonna make money for the first time ever in my comedy career.
And then I lost all of my work. And it's just shot on me.
Finishing 2020 strong. So so you're expecting so January What did January look like for you? And then when did you get a feeling that things were changing? Well, I when I found out that I was going to be hosting the Melbourne Comedy Festival Gala, which is obviously so huge.
Like both is a professional thing and a personal you know, like just, I cried and was so excited. So that was supposed to happen in end of March start of April. January, I was in Perth February, I was in Adelaide. And then march was the
Have suppose to kick off and I was meant to be in Melbourne.
And then that's when it all kind of turn to shit. Like it was kind of like, um, it all started. Nobody was really sure what's gonna happen. So end of March Yeah, yeah. When I came back from Adelaide I think I did two shows in Brisbane for Brisbane Comedy Festival. And then, but like nobody was really showing up. So I'd sold out all the nights, but they were like empty audiences because they were like all you know, try and stay away from people and then I think the the Monday, so I finished the route on Sunday on the Monday they said no groups of more than however many people it was it was just like,
Yeah, but like, I mean, it's it's really forced me to diversify, I guess. I think um, I think it's also really good because, like, I'm looking into my psyche a little bit more. Do you know what I mean?
That's a bit silly, but kind of discovering a little bit more about myself. And
then when you've got so much free time, you just naturally want to keep on progressing and growing and just do that. Yes. What have you learned about having having the thought in your mind that 2020 is gonna be the one to make money or, you know, the year that you've sort of break out versus not doing it? What is the learning, having that thought about what a year will give you before you've even gone through it?
Or like, I just really went and started like, I just was like, Alright, well, I have other talents and other creative things that I can try.
My I'll do that and see where I end up. And
I've actually been writing more I think, I don't remember it's just
I realised as well that this isn't about money for me.
So I I needed to I think the idea of finally making money for the first time was a big idea but I haven't been doing this because I wanted to make money because if you get into comedy for money then
Oh, sorry, my legs sweat. Yeah, you can you can sweat. Yeah. Can you go back to your first ever time on stage as a stand up comedian? Yeah. Um, so I'll be, I'll be
this is what this whole thing is gonna be
doing okay, you can catch it. We can cut cut to me so that you can you can do around and get a step up. I'll be
I'll be, I'll be
doing that's fine. You can do anything.
You go to Nigeria.
Tell me Have you ever had a pet bird before? No funny story my auntie. It's a birthday and actually a bit of messenger came to our front door when it was my birthday and dad opened the front door and there's my auntie standing with the budget in a cage and my dad said absolutely not. He's got something about being in cages and he said absolutely not. And to be fair, I think if it was probably something like a, a parrot that it's trying that can walk around and but this was one of those small, just colourful ones that just sits there all day. chirping
gift for you, Tommy Oh, it was a gift. It was a gift for me for my birthday. And dad said absolutely not take that home and so that's it. You get one never got a bird. This is the closest I've come to having a bird.
We can make it about you against Deaf so the
First time you're on stage as a stand up comedian, when was it?
Um, so it was a hard push to it's up because the first time that I ever did comedy on a stage was because I was living. I've got a tattoo of a snowman saying, why not? I don't know if you can see it very well. It's fun.
And it's basically I went through a really rough time during uni, and I kind of had like a bit of an existential crisis. And I was like, man, I don't want to do this anymore. This isn't what I thought I wanted to do with my life.
When I was just Lauren journalism, and I was just really panicking and I just have a lot of issues with mental health. And then I was like, fuck it, like I'm never gonna learn what cuz I have like five panic attacks. I wasn't leaving the house and it was just really shit. And I was like, I'm never gonna learn what I'm capable of. Unless I removed the safety blanket and forced myself to fucking
those two metaphors in work, but you know.
And so I just was like, I'm going to do something that scares the shit out of me and show me that I'm capable of it. So I booked return flights into London for four months and no accommodation and just was like, I'll just fucking figure it out. And I mean, it's a long story, but I'm not going to tell the whole story. But basically, by about halfway through the time there, I had had this crazy meeting with somebody who was who was talking about how, you know, you need to be present and live in the moment and you should say why not to any opportunity that comes along your way and it was not long after? Yes, man came out. And I was like, Oh, my God, I love that. And I had rules for myself. Like, I didn't want to do hard drugs that I want to be arrested. I didn't want to get
I didn't want to die. And then but anything else I had to say yes to so everyone who had made I'd tell them this story.
I'd asked him to do things used to scare them and we just do cool shit. And one night it all culminated, I was in Ireland and I was in Dublin. I was telling a story to this group of mates that I made. And one of them was, Steph, you're really funny. You should do stand up, but I was like, Fuck that. No way. I can't think of anything I would least you know, like that I would rather not do in my life. And she went, Oh my god, wait, you have that tattoo? And I was like, please make me do this. But then she was like, we're not gonna die and you're gonna do drugs and you're gonna get arrested so why not? I was like fuck are on
and so I just went to a random pub in Dublin and got fucking hammered. Aren't drink anymore, but I like I drank like a bottle of vodka. Not less not but anyway, you know, I'm exactly.
I got really drunk and then I just walked into a bar and I said, Look,
do you have a stage? Do you do stand up comedy here and he's like, no, no.
Do you have a microphone? And he was like, No Why? And I went, No reason. And then I stood up on a chair and I just was like, Look, guys, I've got this thing to do. I guess you can, you know, pretend it's like it's on my bucket list. If I'm any good buy me a drink from shake out. Definitely no. And then I just reflect like 10 minutes of comedy and funny stories about my life. And yeah, I had creeks everyone in the ball that would love me to
get carried out.
Or even remember what happened after that? I'll be honest.
That was like 12 pounds on the bar. And yeah, so and then I was like, I can't believe that was like my friends. Like, that was actually like, You look like you've done that before it was like
and then so I don't I did. An open mic night and pre spin and the host was winning.
The web, actually and he said, we'll start with your first time. Everybody else should probably reconsider.
And like, because you know, like when I did my first proper time back in Brisbane, yeah. And then I just kind of did spots here and there over the space of about two years before I actually started. So like I did like, maybe three or four spots over two years. But I used to watch I used to go to at least two open mic nights every week, just to watch others and just to
learn, but I never was really antisocial with the comedians. Yeah. Well, fast forward to 2019 in your on the gala. I saw you I was at my wife's parents place. And they they don't have internet but they have the box that you record live till television. So I was like is that we didn't have Netflix and I was going through a back catalogue of what would have been saved down and I found your
Sit at the gala. And it was really, I mean, that's in front of how many people that's probably 1500 people. I mean, going from two and a half. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, man. I got it. That's a that's a dig
1000 people out of your set. I mean, going from that sort of doubling up, you don't you're standing out you're giving it a crack to something like the gala. What goes into what you put into something and what you leave out because you only got five minutes. Right? So how do you choose what you're going to leave?
My three minutes so hard. I'm sorry, hot actually. I think that was probably the hardest set to write for that I've ever done. Because obviously it feels like there's so much at stake. You know?
I didn't know what to do. You know what's funny about that joke, in particular actually, like the joke that went viral from that which was about my ginger boyfriend.
I had done
Just For Laughs probably, I think couple of months beforehand. And I'd written a set and sent it off to the editors. Like just to make sure that they know where you're at, you know, like, for timing and all that sort of stuff when it comes to filming.
hadn't written that joke yet, right? Anyway, the day over the day before, just for laughs I came up with that joke and went, that's really, that's really funny. And, you know, like, I had this whole thing of, you know, I bring people together and this, like, this undercurrent of like, why isn't it offensive to use a word, like, bring against white people, you know, like, I had this whole reason why I wanted to do it. And so I rocked up with just flops and I just said to the woman, I'm so sorry, but I've changed my mind about the script. Can I you know, and she was like, okay, and I told her the joke. She went, yeah, that's really funny. Don't worry about it. Like, it'll be approved. You know, like, you have to get it like approved or whatever. Yeah. And so it's like
and so I just
Like, basically it was the first time I've ever told it on stage, just for laughs was being recorded, like filmed. And it just absolutely tore the roof off the place. And because I hadn't tested it before, I was like, Okay, well, that's, that's a good bit. And my manager was watching and she was like, what, what is this job? This is great. And so when garlic came around, I was like, I bet I use my best bits. And I just remembered that feeling of like, just when your gut just knows that it's the thing to use. And I was like, Alright, I'll do that. And then I thought
I was like, Okay, I want to end it with something that's like a, a point like something that isn't necessarily funny. Just a point. And
I ended up with the line. Local, I'm trying to say is if we can't
even get in the position to get in the position of reverse cowgirl? How the fuck are we going to get representation on screen was a joke about Aboriginal porn
Yeah, I just I had this idea that I want to finish really like with this, like, I don't care if it's not that funny and has no real meaning. And I knew the only other thing that I knew was that that joke had to go in it. And I just figured the rest out.
It was. It was a great set and I read a review on on from a Adelaide paper that says carefully balances the hard truths Indigenous Australians face with tongue in cheek jokes and hilarious quips hilarious and informative. I mean, how much are you channelling your experience as an indigenous woman and saying, I want to communicate to people to help them understand or help them see something? Is that your approach to the contents as well?
Man, absolutely. And like, you know, when I first started comedy, like I remember,
part of it would have been the end that she doesn't 13 entity does stuff 2014 but I started doing more sets
I had this thing in my mind. I was never, ever going to mention my heritage on stage. That was my thinking, right? Because I was so scared. I absolutely shoot scared for so many reasons that one, people would say that I was only getting things because I was Aboriginal, like tokenism. I was really scared of receiving backlash and racism. And I was really scared that I would, that I didn't have the
permission almost. And to give you an idea of what I mean by that. So
I know my people, I know my family.
But I didn't grow up on country. And, in fact, my mum made a very purposeful decision to raise us in Brisbane so that we had opportunities because she grew up on country. And she said it was such a racist town and she, you know, and there was nothing that basically what does it mean to be raised on country
Just you surrounded by your culture and you know, like everything, it feels like home. I mean, it's, it's this weird thing, because it's so like, spiritual, you know, like you put your feet on your soil and you just know what, okay, the nicest part of the poetic way that wine onto us says is you got a step in the ancestors footprints and leave your little footprints behind.
Sort of, you know, there's been thousands and thousands and thousands of years of our people kind of looking a bit like me walking around up there, you know what I mean?
And so, it's a big thing, like, I often have this feeling of missing home, even though I didn't grow up there. It's a really odd thing to describe, but
and also, there's just so much nuance that comes with being around culture in the way that the black fathers talk and, you know, no one who's onto us, you know, like, knowing who she's related to, or whatever it is. It's such a big family and I think when you're a wife
My oh my god, the birds back
is crawling up my leg right now.
miss that, and so if you're a Why is it like a middle ground like it? I find it interesting sort of the, the term. So is it you're either doing that or you're not or is there a middle ground of still being connected? whilst being No, it's really, it's really hard because it really is just about like, I think the big part is like the, the nuance he can't teach, you know, and so I always felt like a bit of a fraud because I knew that. You know, I grew up in Brisbane, there was no black fellows here. I had no one to talk to the talk like me, so I didn't I didn't talk to our LPs currently showing up. We're back at it again.
Yeah, but I didn't have anyone that talked the talk like my family. I didn't have anyone to talk to like that. And so you know, like I yeah.
It was really weird. I just kind of felt like a fraud. And,
and even though I recognised that Mohammed made those decisions so that we had all the best opportunities, so that we could make changes and, you know, like, strive for things and that when it came to doing comedy, I was like, man, somebody's gonna call me out. Somebody is gonna say, You're not black enough, you don't get to talk about this. Oh, shit skit.
But then I kind of I recognised that actually, that story.
My story is really common. Like, it's a really, really common story. And it's like,
I have a unique opportunity, which is that I know my family. I've researched a lot about like, I've looked in the archives. I've read don't fucking Did you see that? She believed me. And I put my hand up and then he was like, Fuck off.
Sorry. Um, no. So like I, I researched a lot. And I learned about the history of our family and,
like, from a policy perspective, especially and that was actually the main reason why I was studying law and journalism was to do a lot of advocacy work, and
I just was like, after a little while, I went
What am I Why am I not talking about this on stage? Am I ashamed? Like No, I'm not ashamed. And, you know, this is a really common story on like, what's gonna happen? Somebody's gonna say, oh, you're not black enough for me? Like I know, I know that. That's why I'm talking about these things. You know, like, it's my story. I'm not trying to tell a story as if I know every I can only ever be an expert on mine. You know?
That's great. There your experiences your belief system at play, what have you learned about some of the stuff you may have thought was the wife of yourself and then when you've stepped into it, like being in front of you, not only
3000 people and and how capable you are what have you felt about? Have you seen some internal shift on your side? Oh, honestly, I think that companies probably Oh my God, he's about to bite the cat or they're fighting the
You are such a terrible sheet.
This is like my son. I've got a three year old. This is exactly how I feel to him. Yeah, he just came down. I nearly had to, you know, tell him to
get away from the headphones.
Good boy. Good bed,
your personal shifting beliefs in what you're capable of? Talk us through that.
I think that comedy has probably been the most empowering way for me to
To learn about culture like I've, I've been so incredibly lucky when I did deadly funny, and which is a competition that is run by the Melbourne Comedy Festival for indigenous comedians.
That was honestly the most amazing thing because I got to meet
strong, staunch, you know,
empowered, confident Aboriginal Canadians who talked about all the things that you could do with that platform. I felt so absolutely overwhelmed by that, you know, and I went to meet Kevin Pippin URI who is my biggest mentor in the world. And he kind of I talked to him about you know, look, I i've always the reason why I'm so
I always tell people I'm Aboriginal is because I'm really, I feel it, you know, like, I really identify with that within me. I feel there's times
Like, I'm so much like so much of my family, I look like all of my family.
And I feel like you know, because I grew up in Brisbane, and there's not that many black fathers or quarters pretended I had a tan, but it's never felt like that's never been right for me, you know. And so he kind of, he really helped me
talk about like, what it meant to be Aboriginal what that kind of identity where that identity comes from the spirituality behind it, the the the culture, the, you know, kind of all of those things and gave me a lot of confidence that I could talk about it. And when he did, I started saying, Well, look, you know, the most amount of research that I've done is a lot of it's based on policy and politics and law and history.
And I just want to show people what people don't realise is that like, you know, will will happily offer fuck sight shooting
people, people are so good at having empathy when it comes to
Like a an individual situation like they go, Oh yeah, but you can see why he's like that because x y Zed. And then what always infuriated me, it was like, how can you not see that the state that we're at right now in Australia as far as like the division between Aboriginal Australia and Australia, is because of x y, Zed that's happened. And this is how short the history is. And, you know, the like, how have people never kind of put those things together and gone. Yet this these attitudes lead to these policies. These policies are only like 45 years old, which means those attitudes still exist. How the fox we break out, and so I just thought, Well, if you can make people laugh about it, you can make them fucking think about, you know what I mean? Yeah, take the scary out of it. So it was a huge moment. It's super interesting, like going back to that first time where you standing up and you've got sort of that Dutch courage of you know, a bit of
To going up without that and preparing and actually like the the conscious state of doing it was that a learning to be able to do it you know why where you've got jokes and you've got to set Listen, you're working through material. Yeah, a big time, especially because like, you know, kind of sounds a bit arrogant but I've always been the funny one in my groups and that like being quite serious now I'm sorry. But, you know, like I'm, I'm kind of the Lego block the funny one and was making people laugh through lots of thing. And it's, it's really interesting because it's like, when it comes to material about being black, like, it's really thought through and it's really considered whereas everything else I can sort of just come up with on the spot, you know, but I really want to make sure that there's like a really well thought out like
message behind everything.
Brilliant, it's been really empowering. Cuz every time that I write a joke like that, I have to ask myself a list of questions about, okay, what could somebody say to this? Or what could somebody say to that? Or am I going to hate for this? Or am I going to hate for that? And how am I gonna respond to these? So that which, by the way, I think is something that as a general rule, what comedians don't need to do, but anyway, that's like, that's not a that's not the you know, there
is a protective mechanism questions, or like, is it based on sort of, you've got an audience that, for the most part, isn't very educated in sort of Aboriginal culture and all of this stuff. And so then, is it? Is it you having to work to get to a baseline of audience understanding? Do you think that there's an evolution in the comedy where it starts with the education piece and then
it moves on to other stuff, or do you think that the advocacy is always a part of what you do?
I mean, yeah, like
I think it's always a part of what I do. But there is definitely an element of like, of educating people and
like you have to, I mean, there's just so much misinformation and misrepresentation and, you know, it's kind of
it's just it's like, it's funny because like, I've always known and been sort of all my friends have always known I'm Aboriginal always stand up for things, you know, but I had this funny thing happened where like, obviously, after school, I started doing comedy. I had this girl from high school, reach out to me and go, like, I just wanted to let you know.
I didn't know you were Aboriginal. But I recognised that your families really had a struggle. Are you watching the bird has been
you know, like, I'm sure that your people have really had a struggle and I thought, who the fuck senses like it's a nice sounds like a DM.
Yeah, yeah, like it's a nice thought. But it's like, it's just like,
that's kind of that she would only think that because she found out that I was Aboriginal
Like, I don't know. So you have to educate but then you go, then it's gonna fuck a lot. I mean, that's funny, you know. And also it's like, shame. There's a level of shame that people are feeling and they don't know what to do with with their shame. Have you have you works? Is it is it shame about how they sound because that that impersonation?
It's a Yeah, it's like, if you have talking about that system, or the belief system, or everything's being built on something. Yeah, we're all walking around, for the most part pretty unconscious to the reality of the systems and all of that, that type of stuff. Yeah. For you. How much is shame? A part of the comedy that you do?
Oh, my God, it's probably the bit. I think it is the funniest thing in the world. Because one of the biggest issues that we have, I think, is that people are so afraid to say the wrong thing, or to ask the wrong questions. Because I mean, you know, humans we don't like difficult
things, it's hard to have communication about stuff if you feel like you will say the wrong thing. So, and even even to like, you know what I mean, especially through the government, but like, it's like, everyone's so scared of saying the wrong thing. They just weren't asked the question. They'll just fill the gaps themselves, you know what I mean?
And there's just something so funny about watching people struggling to ask you questions, like, ask questions is the only way you fucking learn. Stop, forget, like, stop thinking about your fucking ego. And think about like, progress starts with you letting your ego go, you know, and asking questions to actually get, you know, like a well rounded idea of things. But I think I think what guilt and shame those are the funniest, I mean, literally, there is there is.
I can't think of anything
that I find genuinely as funny as watching somebody struggle. like fuck we did. I saw this thing and like, I'm not
Given sheets, and it will you you're allowed to identify however you want to identify. But I just I don't I can't explain why I knew what the case was right but I was at this some natoque gig.
This this woman who for for all intents and purposes
look like a white, right and she had platinum blonde hair and a lot of Botox, a lot of filler and all that sort of thing. But I just got the impression she'd obviously just done like a
generic, like in the interest rate thread and have seen in there that she's got some indigenous heritage and like, has just gone that's who I am now. Because it like it was just the most the least work and most awkward thing I've ever seen anyone do. There's black fathers everywhere, right where we're at Nighthawk and there's this stall with like,
You know, I don't know like t shirts and stuff like that. And she's got this kid blond hair blue eyes. And she looks up and it was like she wanted everyone to hear she goes look at some of your were red Jerry cousins and I was like off of Fox. Like,
like, just said the ignorance and it is one she's just assumed everyone's rajouri
she's like, waiting until everyone's looking at her to be like, I'm what have you, you know, like, it was just, it was just so awkward. And it was like, it was this weird thing of like, yeah, she's probably has got a heritage which is great. And she can she can absolutely own that and claim that and that's exciting. We were I mean, we got to fuckin like boost out, you know, representation of population, right? But it was just that
it's some of your morale injury to a whole group restraint. It was just fucking funny, because she obviously still had that guilt and it was just, it was funny, as people just do stupid shit. People don't know how to be when they feel awkward and I don't
One thing that universally makes people open, how do you reconcile because I remember hearing the description of
the coffee, tea or coffee and it's like, it doesn't matter how much milk or whatever you put into it like, your Aboriginal, your Aboriginal or whatever. Yeah, I guess there's an element of that, like, what's the
How do you? I guess there's prejudice potentially even internally or from a, from a community perspective? What are the bits? And so how do you how do you work through that being from the outside it's a funny thing. But also, if you take the fillers out of it, you take out the blunt like, there is an element of it, which there is some some level of understanding around Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, absolutely. But that's that's the thing. Like I was like, the reason why it was so funny to me was because if she had to do it, for everyone to like, she was very
Ego driven, right? It's like, I found
that exactly. And that's what made it funny. It was like, This is what you You fucked up like, do more research before you want to do your performance to shine your light. But no I fucking love that she came to NATO with her child like number one whether she was white, black, red, blue, I don't give a fuck that is so special.
And it is you know what, this is a particularly difficult area within our communities i think is that
the and you can understand why I guess like so for example, my mom is very dark skin. Right? And I'm sure that then if I said to her, or we've had the same struggle, she'd be like, No, we fuckin ate you know what I mean? Because because there's no way that
I have a level of inbuilt
privilege, I guess that comes with being lighter skin than she will ever have. However, you could also argue that
I lacked that privilege because I live in two worlds. And nobody, like people around me are quite let me identify with either fully, if that makes sense. Yeah, where she can't.
But when it comes to that, that next kind of Lionel level, I just don't think it's enough. I think I think the problem is,
if somebody identifies, but has no contact with
family doesn't know the name of their well, but even then that's it's so difficult. I think, the stolen generation, I guess where it gets hard. Like, if you don't know, if you don't know this stuff, that's where it gets really hot. I mean, that generational thing is interesting, because it doesn't matter what culture you come from, there's always every generation like the old the older generation is always saying, you know, you guys are gonna fucking easy or like we had like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's across the board, right.
Yes, that's it. I just, I wish I'd
A little bit more, because I do have thoughts on this because I think I feel really bad for people who've only just found out about found out about their heritage later in life, right? That would be so difficult because,
you know, you know, there's something different about you, you want to explore it. But you've also had all of the privileges of growing up without ever knowing. So if that makes sense. So you've never had to feel that level of prejudice or that level of, of identity until you get to that point, that identity struggle until you get to that point, whatever it is.
And so you can see why there's like a bit of resistance from from the community, but at the same time, we should absolutely be arms wide open, welcoming all of these people, because we want to bring people together. We want our culture to be shared. And, and, you know, I think it's exciting that it's, I think it's really touching when somebody goes, Oh, I just do this ancestry thing and we've got indigenous heritage. I want to find out
Everything about it. It's like, Fuck yeah, that's awesome. But if they had been racist before or if they hadn't been shit before you go well now this feel shit, you know? Yeah. So it's it's I think it's a really hard line. Yeah since as a comedian using humour to communicate, you know, messages and then something around something as sensitive as Aboriginal culture is there people within the community that are offended by some of the ways that you deliver some of the stuff that you're talking about?
I've avoided it pretty well up until recently.
And it's so hot, like I've just taken a little bit of time off performing at the moment actually to just to build my strength because,
you know, it's so hard to receive criticism from within your own community and it's hard to know when it
It's kind of just a difference of opinion or when it's something that you've crossed it, you know, sort of like cultural protocol. It's, it's almost impossible to know where that line is. So, for example, I wrote a joke. I wrote a couple of jokes where I've used offensive words that people have used against me and highlighted them to show
something funny or to show so I've got a joke for example, I don't know if I can I tell a joke here.
same person after I'd hunter not yet.
So I've got this. My God, I'll be Stop it. Get off me. Alpha Fox. is a little ship. This bird. There it is. It's really good to hold the back of the head. Yeah.
Exactly Fuck off.
Can we do a montage of yelling at lb
fucking love? Please do a fucking
He's so cute. He's a little shit.
so the job yeah, so got this joke, for example, right so it's really stupid I go, look I don't like
it's like sort of halfway through a show where I've kind of spoken about how she policies. Look, I don't hate white people.
I just hate people who do Contiki tours and then I go on this and I say you know
if you because I feel like people who do continue to is you know about experiencing a country you're not trying to learn the culture or learn the language or role or experience things you just collect in countries for the sake of collecting countries you know, people who say look, all we did your card now cuz it's been done.
But then I go look, if you want to if you want to select countries if that's what this is about for you, then you want to feel cultured, then I'm gonna tell you it's really cool. Australia has like 500 countries. So why don't you just learn a little bit about
Aboriginal Australia and you can be in one city. And guys were like three different countries. In fact, you might start my own company called turnkey to us.
that joke works on the fact that we build up to this, you're laughing along and then I go, like fucking bam, right? Because using that word is for phones ringing please don't read me. Sorry. Um,
it works up to that point, where it's a bit of a shock factor of like coughing kind of like,
let's just remember that people are still using this word, like,
and then So, I then tell the story of why I do that job, which is
That I had written that
I'd written that piece because I thought that was quite a clever joke, you know, kind of telling people to
take in countries that well, blah, blah, blah, you know, whatever. And then the Korean Tiki bit was supposed to slap people back in. But I was really torn. When I wrote the jokes. I spoke to a friend of mine, another comedian. I said, Hi, look. So this is the joke. And the reason why I'm doing this is to basically say, if you're short, just remember, we've got the cheese on the shelf, or, you know, whatever it is. And she was like, Oh, my God stuff. Of course, you can say it was like, she thinks, oh, cheers. Yeah, well, you could say because you are won. And I was like, Fuck, this is exactly why this show exists, you know? And so then I extended the joke to sort of get to that point, and then explain how my friend said, you can tell that joke as in I can say that word, because I am one which I think is super offensive and missed the point right?
And so it's like
That joke, though, is going to cop a lot of flack from my community, because I'm using a word that has been used to keep us down. And it's like, the point of using it is for something much bigger than that, you know what I mean?
But there's always going to be differing opinions on whether you can
use a word purely for shock value to prove a point, or whether using that word at any point kind of
like undermines progress. So what about so that's probably
my easiest example of, of it is using words to
Yeah, and then and then the question is, that I had to kind of make up in my head and it's a really hard question to make it hard questions. answer is, what audience Am I performing for and
Am I performing for an indigenous audience? Am I performing for an N A white audience and unfortunately, it's like, you know, I would love to say performing for both but there are areas where
you know, you would have to change something quite a lot to fit in this world and, and fit in this world. And so I'm very lucky that I have a tour with the Aboriginal committee all stars and when I tour with them, I talk black, you know, ever talk differently. It's all good. And talk in a vernacular that I certainly wouldn't talk with a white audience with. But I also had to try and get myself used to okay with the fact that I am essentially writing for a wide audience and is that also okay? So it's very complicated. Yeah. self development and things like that. You're talking about looking after yourself. What is I was watching one of your videos. What is learning to love myself. mean to you?
I don't know I haven't fucking learned it yet
I don't even know if it's learning to love myself just fucking forgiven myself like I'm very forgiving open sort of person with other people and you know, I recognise you can make mistakes and still continue to grow and
get better. And I think, you know, I'll hold myself to every mistake that I've ever made even the little awkward foe pause that I've made and never forgive myself will never move on from them.
I think that's all part of learning to love myself was just letting that sheet go and just remembering I'm a human. I'm just like everyone else. And perfection isn't real.
And you spoke about Twitter and building out a bit of a playlist.
Oh my god, it's so embarrassing. So okay, so I when I first set up my YouTube account,
I was cuz I wanted to upload something I didn't realise I had
had switched on, so it will automatically upload to Twitter, like so when I was putting out little bits, I was like, Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Well, little did I know that fucking everything that I did on YouTube was going to be shared on Twitter. So I made this playlist when I was in a really bad way. It was like, learning to love myself with something. And it was just full of like, fucking pop psychology videos of like, tell yourself you're worth it. So all of this sort of shape, and I saved as I was saving them into this playlist to Watch Later. Little did I know every single time I put one in the playlist, it was putting it out on Twitter. I was like 20 video
learn how to deal with self doubt. Stephen just put learning how to deal with self doubt into learning how to love myself. How fucking
old waiting, like I separate tweets. When I sort of fucking deleted them all. I was like, Oh my I think I would have preferred if I for some reason was like making a porn playlist or something.
Did anyone read Chad say by viewer I
this isn't funny
I think that's the thing if somebody had been like lol that would have been way better but the fact that Romans just kind of like
will just ignore that you know what I mean? It was like oh, Rose what happens with that a friendship circles with like becoming a comedian. Do you all of a sudden do you start all hanging out? And you know, or do you like with comedians, like you're hanging out? Friends?
Why do you think we have any comedian friends? Because I'm a fucking loser.
Because I have no middle ground I'm really strange. I'm either really serious or really really fucking not and it just depends what mood you get me in.
Now, I don't know I'm quite shy actually. And it's it's weird to say that because I am.
Oh, I'm loud and stuff, but I
I'm just quite sure you deserve that one Steph. Sorry, you had your face on hourly. I'll be I'll be sorry. Troll.
And so you said you're serious or you're the other way
in terms of your Friendship Circle your close Friendship Circle if you're not sort of in that community, comedian bubble What is your Friendship Circle look like?
Um, like the
you come to me when you need nurturing and advice.
I'm the mom or not not even the mom because I'm really really fucking unreliable and disorganised. Some definitely not the month but like I'm the
I'm like the shoulder, I guess. So, yeah, sort of the, our been broken up with stuff, talk me through it. And I'll come in, I pick you up, give you a big cuddle, play some music and have a sing along and then say he's not even worth it. You know what
What have you learned about yourself during 2020 and everything that's gone down.
I've learned that I'm resilient. And
that I work a lot harder than I ever gave myself credit for. And I'm really proud of that.
Because I was literally there was there was a couple of weeks that were I was doing about 10 flights a week, but usually flying at least, like out of out of interstate or out of Brisbane, at least three days every week.
And so at least I used to, I was doing probably, on average about four or five flights a week.
And it was so busy, and
I just kind of felt like I wasn't working hard because I enjoyed doing what I was doing.
If that makes sense, but yeah, as soon as the lockdown started, it was like I was hit with a wave of serious fatigue. I realised I was a bit burned
And I actually realised I had a lot of health problems that I'd been pushing aside as well.
I was really worried that I was I lost a lot of
gigs, secure money. And when I lost those zones, like we're not going to get through, but I found ways around it. And then I found ways to sort of promote myself to a different audience. Obviously, I think that like business to business, and corporates are fine during this time. So I realised that I was going to have to start marketing myself in a very different way, and
try different things, and the writing and
I'm looking at writing very, like long form stuff. And I'm really proud of that. So I think it's a perspective A lot of people have gained is that they're on this hill going upwards. And it seemed like in hindsight, once you have to stop that, you're you're going to take
However at one point in fall down, and so it's like that working hard burn out. It's like you Yeah, looking back now it's like you're gonna get there. And then it's like a you know, Grace is odd. We got this reset and stillness forced upon us and then you get a bird on your shoulder and you're living the life. Yes.
Absolutely. It's actually been such a blessing even though it's been a pain in the ass.
It definitely. There was a lot of Yeah, a lot of things that I think I hadn't done. I you know, like, to the point where I guess I'm
lazy, you know, like, hey,
Dr. Bird. I accidentally hit him. I didn't mean to
stop it. I'll be step up.
Another one for montage.
start saying that to you now. Josh. Step up.
to step up, JJ
Do you think he knows what he wants of me? Yeah, he does. But he's not doing it. I'll be
there we go go away. Have you tried not saying step up and just doing what you're doing with your hand? Like I wonder if it's more the hand being under his feet that gets him to step up? Rather than saying, Yes, we had to we trained him with food. So now
Step two is to finish yourself
20 2020 or, you know, the rest of it into 2021. What is what is your new approach, if going back to the old way, was causing some issues? Or it wasn't so that you will be mindful on how crazy it was for you?
Um, I think,
just going to prioritise things and also
Put more value on certain things as well. So like if I go yes I just say yes to everything
and maybe I can't do as well as I'd like to on all things you know on everything then I think I just need to be like this willing to say yes to this room say no to if it's something that I think is difficult for me maybe I just asked to put the value off of it you know, like just just kind of Yeah, just giving myself an opportunity to say no to things
and understanding that might mean other things need to change and being okay with that. Makes a lot of sense. Steph, thank you for coming on the show and dealing with
you want to sell lb we can we can we can wait why would you pay for lb
a grande wax. Where's the came with the cage? Okay, so you're paying for the cage. What do you reckon the cage came out of 150 for the cage.
Yeah, bird is fucking expensive man. What is it for a bird? Yes, we got a permit really fuck off and so what
can he fly away or not? He's got like he's probably it was his wings clipped although I have to wait a little bit but he's only a baby.
Actually, one of the wings clipped what it actually do or is it a bit graphic? Exactly what it's
what that still sees wings though. Yeah, so when you pull them out, they're like you just click just the very very very bottom of the last to
unstabilized system makes me feel really guilty. I'll be pissed off.
Thank you for coming. Thank you just very quickly before you go, what's it what's the snowman? So the snowman on the tattoo the snowman bit why is the snowman it started snowing outside when I was at the tattoo shop.
I thought it might be
was a bit of a weed. Oh, that's so awesome. And so if people want to get involved in, what's your stand up? You're doing stuff online or how can people follow along? Yeah, I will. So I'm, I'm doing things a little bit differently to others. I think. I've got a Patreon that I've set up and it's basically I'm really open. I've got a really lovely community. We just talk very open. It's kind of about, you know, I guess we talk about until health we talk about a whole bunch of stuff. I also post sketches up there, a whole bunch of stuff would love people to have a look at my Patreon. I also have a special coming out very soon, which is basically it's like, it gets live.
It's like it's streamed live for the first time that has ever been shown. We filmed it last year. First time it's ever been shown and I watch it with
and then there's a q&a session at the end but basically I've not I've not seen it from start to finish so I don't know it's weird that's exciting and then there's like a q&a session at the end which I'm bringing my friends and family to them they gonna fucking rush to me so
just right but like from just I'll be there shortly I'll be it's gonna be yeah probably.
And also also um I will reveal my ginger boyfriend he's never ever let me put him on
shock right that's not even that ginger anymore by the way his mum came around recently and when you've almost completely lost all of your changes so now I feel like I'm fake but he was
back Yeah, I can
bring back the ginge.
Thanks. It's best to Delhi to
have a good one.