#703 – Stacey June On Letting Go Of Expectations/
- April 28, 2020
We chat about Stacey’s new bub, parenthood, misconceptions, letting go of expectations, and making moments happen.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Stacey’s new bub
– JJ’s buzz cut
– Home birthing
– Letting go of expectations
– Making moments
– Open conversations
Stacey June Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceyjune
Stacey June’s website: https://www.staceyjune.com/
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 703.
Welcome Stacy Jones back to the show.
I love the colour. What is what's actually behind you right now?
a mattress. It looks like you have it by the donor. You know my husband my now husband had that do not on his bed when I went into his room. And I thought, well this guy's a keeper. Look at this colourful thing. It looks like that on eBay. If a man can have it on his bed, you know that he's comfortable with himself?
Definitely. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Last since since last time you're on the show. You know, baby, congratulations. Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you very much. He's name is brain not burn. And not Brian, but Bryn How do you spell? Yeah, B. Y and
Yeah, that makes sense.
Brian, people get it wrong. Okay, yeah,
I guess I should have mentioned that. Oh, Ben I don't
worry about it. I was like, Yeah, I can imagine
Brody Brody I've got a child on Friday I didn't even know but
grins going to rinse gonna think that he's name is burn because Ben and I joke so much about calling him burn to take the piece of people and now I don't actually think he knows what his name is. So we let her burn haha. And we say that probably more than we actually say his name so I you know you start to realise that you've got a responsibility to teach your child the basics IE their name and not take the piss straight from the beginning. Because that could be confusing. It's a hard one because the kids start then using that mispronounce everything. So when a buddy's best friends at daycare, his name is Jimmy bird he calls him Genie with a Jeez,
it's close. And I now call the kid Genie. Because it's cuter. It's like you end up being like, and but then yeah, do you correct them? Or do you just like, Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. Where's Genie house has Genie today?
I don't think Jimmy's worried about it, to be honest.
Like, I think that's the main thing we should be measuring that concern from is genies issues like shimmy and I think it's more ash sheet than it is about genies.
Do you do baby Tom Stacy? Has that become a thing? Since I mean, kid?
Yeah, a little bit a little bit. Sorry. I'm just I need to apologise to the world. Like, I just didn't think I would be that person. But I actually read somewhere that it does help their development. And that made it worse because I kind of now justify it to myself that I'm making him smarter by talking to him like a dumb ass. So it's a real juxtaposition. You know,
I thought that you're not meant to do it, because then they're never going to learn how to actually say it. Jimmy's nine
that's what I That's what I thought. I know I'm drooling like him. Yeah, I I thought the same. I thought the same but no, funnily enough that those kinds of sounds and that tone gives them something. Sorry. Yeah, it's very it's very hard. He's very cute.
We were looking this morning it's like a two and a half year old, two three year old Can, can dress themselves and are thinking, even if they do even if they only learn how to dress themselves at five annoying for the parent, but also not the end of the world because the kid's gonna learn how to dress himself when he's 16. At least like you're always gonna learn something. What is Bodie? He mispronounces word No, he, he confuses words. My beard is sparkly, instead of prickly and, and then what is it spicy food is prickly. And so he's like, think it's so cute though. And so I love it. I just start speaking his language. It's beautiful. But can we Josh can we get Little official statement. You've had a 2007 britany moment. It's jai jai bitch,
I shaved my head this is this is the first time I've come on the show with my shaved head because I just thought, so if you're feeling terrified by the whole thing is everyone else.
Okay, so I was not wanting to act like I'd missed something because last time I had to address the whole thing around unfollowing Tommy, and then I said, I'm going to come on now and they know in the loop that you've shaved your head so dramatically, so I just let it go. And tried to pretend that I was familiar with this new
guy. I was expecting like, yeah, like how are you Josh anyway? Are you okay? Everything okay, you're good? No, I am.
Oh, no, seriously?
Yeah, I was. I'm fine. I'm fine. I said last night I am. I've been meaning to do it for ages and the Just because I hate my hair is very inconsistent. So Tommy has a very considered Tommy's got TV here 97 got sort of New Age TV hit. There's not many curly haired people I feel like on TV and so I love that serves as sort of representative while acting. Yeah, and I think it works really well but I am here we go to TJ just put up a shot of Brittany. It actually So what happened? Yeah, so I decided to do it. And Bree left on the weekend by
missing a very big point, but
it just feels like fresh, it's easy. It's consistent. It's easy to manage. I don't there's so much stress in my hair. Like I'm like, doing you know, last minute showers before the shows I can like try it like comb it and try and I can manage it. I'm like, I don't need this bullshit and I didn't want to have to go to the hairdresser. And and so what I ended up doing was Brace it out now while I don't want to help you with it, you can just do it. And then so I just went to the bathroom and started cutting, embracing me cutting my hair she was like Okay, I'm coming I'll help you. And so we used we used my beard trim I've got like a very small like trimmer that's really only decided there's no stubble and the thing burnt out halfway through so I was sitting in the on the couch with half my head done to bring you exactly this was going to happen and so I am I ended up I have hardly been out of the house. But I had to go to war words I actually went to chemists warehouse it was still open a night Pam went to chemists warehouse and bought like a whole kit and we finished it off. So that's that's what's happened.
Look, I gotta say in the little square that I can see right now it's much better with your whole face in my face. Okay, like as in so make sense. So like straightaway now. So you go Get straight on with the actual full pitch. You know, sometimes when it's like a little part, you just look at it now when you can see.
But when you're bigger, you've got your whole pitch. Yeah. So when it's smaller, it's, you know
that denial Shannon's
asked for my for the famous tongue smile, man. But the thing is, but I reckon part of it one of the good inspires from this is, I feel like you can't rock this hair. Unless you've got a bit of muscle mass. I want to sort of go for that just out of jail or potentially just served in the military look. And so that's my next thing is I'm like I this is a good reason to you know, get buff up. Yeah, buff up.
Is that what people say? Well, you could maybe have you know, who would be a great inspo would be any dudes from prison Brown. Because they really remember Prison Break and it was like this massive thing with shaved head dudes and then there was that real life criminal that went viral around the same time as prison bait. So you're looking at the prison break era for inspo. I think
you just said the prison bike, which would actually be a great TV show.
me on the show with a newborn correct my life.
It's my favourite thing to do. But you actually seem extremely like relaxed, happy chill. Are you feeling that way?
I am. I am. I mean, this situation. It's there's lots of parts of it, I guess that aren't ideal. He hasn't met a lot of my family which is is confronting, because you just have a picture of having a firstborn and having moments with grandparents and friends and memories. And by this point, we would be out of the house. We're kind of out of that real early, early newborn. Stage. But on the flip side of that, there's research that I've said, which my auntie raised to me a few days ago, that saying that newborns and babies are actually thriving in this environment. And I gotta say, I find it really hard to disagree with that. Because in the end a lot of the social stuff and a lot of the visitors are really much more about our own agenda. The baby just wants you and comfort and security and wants to suss out the new world and he's been able to do that in the most safe way. So, yeah, it's hard to really find you have your days but it's hard to find stress in that when Ben's also my husband's also home too. So it's, you know, the kind of we've we've had the newborn bubble for a long time and, and it's pretty cool, although with the beaches need to stay open for me, I live here for the beach. I'm a Melbourne girl, as you guys know, and I live in Sydney because of the ocean. So the beach closing is a bit That's a bit of a that's an anxiety inducing kind of feeling for me.
They just opened Bondi beach today. That was only for locals. Yeah, live in bond, I think is it your beaches and I've been good. We've
got our beaches open till 9am now, so we can go have a swim in the morning.
Does that mean that everyone's doing that then?
Well, it's barricaded off and it's policed like this. I've never seen police on motorbikes, but not motorbikes of the ones on the road. Like, they look like dirt bikes. Up and down the
Fucking Isiah, the thing that is starting to get me right into the conspiracy theories, that attitude and also screamo looks very comfortable here too. So as much as I'm glad that everyone's thriving in the power, it's making me also question them, because I'm like,
my issue with authorities really playing up you
don't want them to enjoy it too much. If they're going to set rules, you don't want them to enjoy it.
Well, what's the measuring system? How do we find out? What if we're improving or where we're doing? Well, I just how are we able to measure what our work has done and where the cutoff is for that to now be necessary or not necessary? I'm not sure how we measured that. And that is the part that makes me uneasy. I'm happy to do my bit. And I'm happy for us to follow rules if that means it. Not yet.
easy to do. Yeah,
I will be I think I know it, but all of those things are the things that are getting in the way. I will do it, though. Yeah.
Let's just say that much.
Okay, good. thing about the social distancing is that if, when do we, when it when it works, people will say, why do we need it because look, nothing's happened. And then the reality is that social distancing, the result is nothing happening. So it's like it's a hard one because you sign When do we know it's working? Well, it's not spitting
dry. I agree with you. Yeah, because I wasn't feeling like this. A month ago when I knew we had to do it and people weren't doing it. Yeah, I was very much, you know, stay away from me. I need to walk up the street to get a few things. You do not need to stand that close behind me all those kinds of things that we felt, but now I'm in a place where I'm like, Okay, so how do we know where that line is? And who makes that call?
How, what do you say that?
Or more tired now?
Probably brekkie. Right. Do I think because less joy?
We didn't cover it. We had a great time. But you know what I mean, you've had a baby to it. There's something about the joy of a baby that fuels you in a different way. That's not about yourself. It's almost like this kind of magic pitch. Oh, that's pure pure joy, really. And so there's something about it that just kind of fuels you in a different way to other stuff that you've had in your life to date. It's weird. It's really weird and amazing.
Have you spoken about how it all happened? The birth because last time we spoke you were I think you got an indoor pool and it was all it was all happening.
When you got a birth pool, you got a clock rubber and just bought the, you know?
It's like, it's like, yeah, I ended up paying twice that's
like that. Yeah. We spoke about that the marketing element. No, I think there are some some important factors of just safety and being able to lean on it and all that stuff. That's right. No, I haven't. Yeah. There's no there's no big pictures of babies coming out, though. We just record a bit and I just recorded our birth story for a couple goals podcast. So that's the only real time We've spoke with we haven't and we haven't released that yet. So we did have a home birth
your can we place it before
it went? Well? Well, we can. I will say that we had a home birth and everything that we spoke about. We did.
So we pulled out the exclusive banner.
And now, now I need to actually deliver. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. So we did we did a home birth and I burst a 4.7 kilo charge, which in the old system is 10.4 so big. I had him at home and
yeah, huge. Oh,
yeah. Do you know how big the Bible is before you before you have him? Like if you go on the scales, could you work it out?
They try. I don't think they ever thought that he was going to be that big because it actually That's actually quite rare. You know, regardless of where you want to have your baby, it's quite rare to have a 10 pounder I was quite overdue, they had a bit of an inkling that he would have been in the nines, but no idea who's attend and I if we hadn't have opted for the home birth and the I guess the process and the the way that the, I guess the choice of care that we did, there's no way they would have let me have anything other than a C section I think if I was in the hospital because they just kind of freecad at that size. So it's kind of crazy to think that when you opt to go out of the kind of that system or that convey about which some you know, is that actually my body was completely was was able to birth that that size baby at home.
Is it like the Nevada film clip having a water birth, but the kid just comes out? just you know,
TJ is learning how to put images on his knees.
I can see
The waterfall when they come out when when when the water goes because I mean to do one before that we we got the new guy from doing it for doing it
we were he was in vain under for well he's he would have been under for about eating out
for at least 10 minutes.
And because they're not great they the baby is the baby breathing straightaway or is it still using the court? Like what's the what's the code doing it
by the braids through the cord until you cut the cord? Oh, actually, that's a better not. I don't know about that. Well, I mean, when it's coming out, it's definitely still the cord. It's not even if its mouth was out. It's not breathing air yet, obviously because it's underwater. So I guess maybe that's a good question, Josh. I don't know maybe it's it. It gets air when it needs to get air. Jeremy relates itself.
And so what was the agency tank Did it go for how long like the whole thing from start to finish?
And I was in labour. I was actually at the pub for lunch on Sunday afternoon at about two. And I burst him but I started feeling contractions. I was timing them out. And then I came back.
It was a chicken salad. Okay.
B and, and some wings so close.
Yeah, pretty much exactly. Remember that. And so we had him What? 24 hours after in total. So one o'clock the next day. Monday, Monday afternoon.
I'm trying to remember is that so you have a nurse arrive at your home is the pool like I guess you've got time to fill it all up and things like Oh, God, Josh.
Got out YMCA. Sounds
like a bait shot.
Yeah, could you be shot
I did the announcement. Hello patrons. We've got a bad situation you'll need to exit the beach and put the shark alarm on and
get off the stop hanging on to the line. You know, it's always good to hang on to the line. What? It's like the what is that code? 70 you know what it is? It's like yeah, the line the line in the pool. This dude, fuck it if you hold on to it and so I'm nearly drowning and they like hands off the lacing going on. It's funny
you say that because Ben was in and out. He was kicked out at times and then was told to jump back in. So it was I mean now version. Yeah. Hmm. He was Yeah, he was he was told to get out. Yeah, the pole band nav Quick, quick, and hop down.
Or like, what's the who's directing the whole thing? And, like, Is it a lot of like, are you doing that or
in a home birth situation? Absolutely. Or in mine. I can only speak on behalf of mine. But yeah, I will. Was but you know, you guys know me I am. I don't, I'm not shy of words and I don't struggle, but I was very, very insula. So, when you think about direction, it was very much led through energy, there wasn't a lot of speaking. So if I was uncomfortable, for example, or I needed more room, they just really kind of intuitively went with me. And I was just trying to find ways to communicate that as with as much energy externally as possible, which words, funnily enough in those situations, is a real big source of energy. And you don't want to be putting any of that out. You just want to stay really, really focused on the things that I chose to speak about. had to be I told myself, they had to be absolutely worthy of a conversation.
So music Did you have music going?
Yeah, we had a playlist like I must admit, towards the end, I was like Jesus Christ. could have put a few more tracks on this like, this.
You played me? Well, what will you
know, I had a playlist that was it was completely curated on things that made me get into my body. So if I felt I listened to the song and I felt like I was in my body nodding my head, it made the list. And then the final playlist was the songs that I wanted him to hear when he came out. So more focused on him.
So it was Kylie Minogue Beyonce.
I mean, it was coming out.
He did come out to Beyonce. One of the songs came out across two songs. And it was the song that she sings to blue, her daughter.
And that was the second song. Yeah, that she kept that she came out that he
married in New York. It could have been nice for empire state of mind, just to say.
Just a little bit of it a main entrance. He's got to have design. It's got He's on thing, right. But my kid, I asked him his thing.
And I did that. What do you think? We're sort of talking about that, you know, speaking to kids, the development of them, what do you think like, the birth experience like this is a bit sort of out there, like the birthing experience for a child and its connection to later in life, like you hear about, you know, people have linked sort of pining early stages when a kid doesn't understand it, or can you know, remember it, but linking it to later in life and it coming out? I know, Stacy, sort of like to look into that kind of stuff. Have you ever been thinking more about this? And, you know, the effects on children and things that happen their early early lives before you even can, you know, remember it as an adult?
Well, I think yeah, I think ourselves, you know, quite intelligent and take on a lot of things that happen to us that aren't necessarily running through our conscious or subconscious. So I think it would be probably silly to think that Those types of massive moments in our life would would have no impact. I think probably more, the more traumatic situations would probably be just like anything in our life when something quite momentous happens. It is it is going to take its toll to some degree, how that equates directly to the physicality of us when we're younger or later in life. I don't know but I know for sure. I had an energy healer come over who's a good friend of mine and and he's on his on my podcast with a podcast that I did last year quite a lot. And you know, he's a guy that nobody really knows of. He was my engineer, but people just love him. He's just got this really amazing. I think it's also because he's an American. So his voice sounds so authoritarian.
You can do it get into the market to you know, take small guy but he
may in particular, the the content teamed with this kind of like he's from Korea. Otto I think so it just is, you know, there's a real vibe. Anyway, he came over. And, you know, he was able to really kind of focus and work through the organs and see how settled they were and how, you know, he works with energy. And I don't know how it all kind of works, but he was just saying that he didn't feel any form of trauma or stress. He said with a lot of babies, and I'm paraphrasing here, but with a lot of babies, there is some form of shock that goes down for any kind of birth. It doesn't need to be a lot of trauma or any kind of, I guess, chaotic experience for there to be an element of shock. So it's quite hard to get, you know, a baby that's feeling so kind of settled early on, because it is a fairly big thing to go through and your body definitely is kind of an imprint of that in a lot of ways.
Did you Is that what you expected the whole thing.
Yeah, I think it was, yeah, I had a lot of emphasis and a lot of weight on it being a life changing experience, which I think sounds ridiculous because of course it is. But I'm more speaking on behalf of my experience and this kind of mature essence that is spoken about of a woman going from this made into mother from going from, you know, regardless of what your relationship status is, all those types of things. It's more about kind of almost like a they talk about adolescence, how you go from through that time, there's a sense, there's a term that I only really learned about in the last 12 months called matrices, which is very similar to adolescence, but for women who go from being, you know, a woman that doesn't have children to a woman that does have children. And so I was really excited by all of that and put a lot of emphasis on my journey with it and what it would what it would be like for me, and it was it was definitely everything that I had hoped it would be.
It was incredible. Yeah,
yeah, well, I have actually,
how is that experience? Because I know. I mean, it's, it's, it could shift your I think some women it might shift and for men to shift the priorities when they make their little baby and they're like, Ah, this is what I was caring most about is trumped by a newfound care or you know, focus, what have you. I mean, you've always been pretty career driven Stice.
What's that experience?
I think from the outside, and look, you're dead set, right? Like there has been an element of me really questioning that as well and making sure that I'm always checking in with myself about that. But at the same time, from the external viewpoint, it is quite career driven in terms of doing any form of work in the first three months of your baby's life. Sure. But the flip side of that I think I've always been a person that has somehow been my life's always been preparing for what's to come before I've known it's come. So when kids finished I started my own business from home, I started doing things that only ever caused me or made me feel content and I was comfortable with and I wasn't anxious. After after keys and moving from, you know, that hardcore kind of radio environment, I really realised having the space that it was actually the source of a fair bit of high intense energy for me and a high a lot of anxiety. And so any work that I did from there, I was very, very careful to filter only things that made me feel good about my life into my life. So weirdly, then, when you're that specific with the kinds of work that you do, and I'm an I'm, I want to say privileged enough to be able to make those choices, but I work pretty fucking hard to make them and there were times where I wasn't obviously earning as much money as I am now or was it kids, so it wasn't a I had to commit to that way of life. It doesn't just get handed to you. But, you know, I probably wouldn't have been able to do that completely the way I have when I was single. So I get that it's not all an option straight up for everybody. But at the same time, I really committed to making decisions of things that I would do in my life that were enriching and felt good. And I wanted to earn money from a way that felt like I wasn't giving so much of myself, but it was actually just more of an exchange that it just all started to feel a bit better in my body. So then when it came to this time, there wasn't really a plan for me to work there was some more stuff I needed to do on my book, which wasn't really my choice, but was just there was some changes that we needed to make. And, and also I wanted to kind of get on board with my coaching at a time that I wanted to kick started and you guys know that if you run your own business, you need to be selling that in in order to be like when my maternity leave finishes. I want to start making a little bit of money, but that also means you've got to pre promote. So there's just different things that that kind of happened quite organically, but I will say it, a lot of it really, truly, as cliche as it sounds, doesn't feel it feels like work, but it doesn't feel anything that's taxing to my energy, or taxing to who I am and what I'm what I'm giving, if that makes sense. The other thing is the flexibility is something that I have 100%. So, I think for me as a person that feels often quite quite muzzled by pressure or by running someone else's show. It makes so much of a difference for me to be able to have full control in what I do and what I don't do. And when I have full control, I actually can get a lot done because I don't feel like I have to do it.
The pursuit for anxious the pursuit for a life with less anxiety and then It's like less pressure. I mean, there is that sort of feeling where you could go, well, to achieve it's like reconciling your mind achieving sort of successes, however you see them versus that sort of desire for a less anxious existence. I see the appeal in that, like, I think about this similar way of doing and there's levels of anxiety, but I think there's the thought of what you could be doing. And then you're like, Can I make enough money doing that? So for me, it's like, a life that would be more focused on like, I remember when I was a personal trainer, those times is like, it's a focus on your health, and they were less anxious times than now but I also wasn't striving for a life that I am now. So it's a weird it's a weird one. It's such a chase guy.
I think they came. I it is and I think that they come in different times of your life when you need it. You know, like, that's what I was going back to the question about working with green being here. I think my life I've set myself up because I would need to have flexibility and be less anxious which God has given me the ability to work from home and work when I want and not really seen it as that cliche. I've gone back to work thing but more so my life is all encompassing and I do everything I do in it feels like good for me. And I only do it if it feels good for me. That started two years ago that because I needed it. I think my body was ready and knew that I was going to be a mother at some point. So I trust that when I was doing radio, or really kind of aggressively chasing my dreams for what, eight years, I didn't need to be that as much it was okay. I was I loved it. I was never it's never a point where I am in the place I'm at and now think this is better than where I was. It's just that I'm in somewhere different. I don't look back and think Oh sir, anxious and that was terrible and awful time. It just was different to what I need. Now.
Obviously, like you But you've spoken about your experience conceiving and all that sort of thing, that that whole journey, and then actually giving birth and being a parent is there reconciling that has to happen through that whole past experience.
What do you mean by reconciling? Like, kind of tipping the hat to that time or just
like that guess? Does it sort of come up? Or is it something that like, or is it sort of like a like, I guess, if you go, that this sort of giving birth is part of that whole experience, or it's all part of that sort of journey? I just wonder if anything sort of comes up from that? Mm
hmm. I haven't thought about it, which probably answers your question right? Because if I bright I've raised and and put things up on my socials lately because people have asked me questions. So it's been more about reacting to that or responding to that. As opposed to me, having it top of mind. It's funny now that I think that it I do feel like the birth of brain almost kind of completed that journey. You know what I mean? So it's like when he was born, it's almost like that was the final part of that chapter. And it was a completion. So I, we haven't really focused on it while he's been here. I definitely thought about it, leading into him coming, and I definitely thought about my pregnancy. But since he's been here, it's almost like that's the next part. And I'm sure if we try for another child, because we will never be able to fall pregnant naturally. My husband has all his sperm frozen from a cancer diagnosis years ago, so we will have to go through that journey. Again. It's not just a matter of we'll see what happens. So I imagine that process will start all over again, and then how it's supposed to end so yeah, it's weird. I hadn't thought about it. But now that he's here, it doesn't feel like him being here, either. connected to that. So I think it may have ended the day he was born. Yeah.
I'm told the story is kind of amazing.
Yeah, we the during IVF were you given? You did IVF sighs
I you I
what's that that's what
that's where they basically it's a turkey baster so they don't have to take
a turkey but
I've got to tell you based on sorry.
Oh, you can do one of those. You know what else is the thing you can do the the snot suckers that you give babies which I've just been obsessed with lately. Like you put this thing up their nose and rip out they're not too They can breathe. And you just get fixated on that she I was never a girl that wanted to pick my boyfriend's pimples or squeeze them. I found that fucking disgusting. But I'm obsessed with this not soccer. I can
And it protects you
know math. It's like a It looks like a turkey base and you put it up there little nostril,
a turkey base there is what is a turkey base? It's a basting of a turkey. So it's like What is it? What is
you know? Have you ever got one of those names that pumps up? Water? Water bombs, like,
yeah, we use them everywhere and shit.
Oh yeah, that's exactly like something like that way you putting it into the nostril pressing it and then the letting go suck it out
because the babies don't do they? Yeah.
Well, they also don't know how they're not a boy that knows. And if they're breastfeeding, they can't actually breathe.
It's actually a requirement.
Yeah, they just they such a little rodents at that point. They're just shooting them. Has he done the poo explosions.
Oh, joking. It was so funny. I filmed his first bass. thinking it would be a real memory. And he shed everywhere. And I find those things funny. I'm like the classy. I'm just more I'm already are that beautiful. He's shit doesn't smell like it's incredible which to be fair babies don't really smell until they start eating like solids. But I just think guys have a real issue with that stuff more than girls. I think like, Ben, my husband was freaking the EFF out. Actually, if he likes me, I'll show you the video. But he just was like, Oh, that's disgusting. Oh, God, God. And I was like, Whoa, he's Katie's like, a diode. Like you can't give him a complex that anything that comes out of him That is disgusting. Like he's just this innocent little baby doesn't know. And so there was just it just went everywhere. And so I've got it all on video. And I was really I had to have a sit down. We've been after and say, Look, we have a child's friend that had a real issue going to the toilet for a long time. Time. And I feel like they get this idea that is gross really early on because we react to them like
do you think you can affect him up? Like, I feel like that's so much pressure that all these little things could be the reason why he can never go to the toilet. I think it's pretty hyperbole.
I don't even know what hyperbolic really means. But no.
It's a bit extreme. If, if all of a sudden he doesn't go on the toilet, you're gonna bring up with ban. It's like, you know that on day one. This is why
No, I think I see. Like as they get a bit older, and he's pooped his pants and he understands exactly what's happening because he's not wearing a nappy. And he, like they, they get a bit shy and it's like, where do you even learn how to be shy from And so rather than saying at that point when he's, you know, two and a half, three, like don't pull your pants you know, like that's hard because they They, at one minute you want to sort of help them understand the other side, the other side, you want to be compassionate and say, it's all good. You know, next time, let's do it in the toilet. But it's, yeah, there's small sort of leaps that the kids are making, right? Like, Brody hasn't put in these pants in months, which is amazing. He doesn't. He doesn't wait himself as much. unless we've just left him in front of Netflix because we're on Friday night drinks with gronk. He's upstairs and comes down and says I fixed myself.
Why don't you give us just bad parenting boy, if you give him the
shot? tequila, he's looked over and he's pissed himself, too.
finish one back? Yeah, yeah, I haven't been at like at all. It was just a bit of a stupid thing. And we I'm very, very good friends with our neighbours. So we can actually our back door is their back door and we can socially just like it's very comfortable for us to just sit on the end of our stoop. Sit on the end of this group and we just have exactly as you guys lucky to get a few drinks but then when I'm there otherwise Oh my god, well you just wouldn't Sydney so everybody just doesn't speak so you wouldn't really notice because that's just basically what Sydney is like anyway, but we are lucky. They are the greatest people and incredible support and just really great mates but also very good neighbours. Like, I'll pick that up for a year or, Hey, I just made ends like biscuits. They were gluten free flour. Do you want some? I'm like, if Yes, I do. So yeah.
That was a great testimonial. We could cut them out. Yeah, that'd be nice.
It made it very good. That good. They don't give a shit.
Now they're actually in the room right now.
And I mean change stays. I remember you posted on Insta this week. That video. I saw it I was like, I know this. And it was you and you made we went away. That was a waste of time, like, seven, six years ago is when we went away and you were doing a dance with the Knights. How times have changed. Wow.
And you were filming then you were filming then now? You're
Your, um, your, your actual quote, you know when things just in your friendships group just really steek they're not anything that's that amazing or whatever. But Tommy took the video of us just copying a Beyonce dance and my friend cracks in at me for being in her line of view. Like I'm blocking her her her like chance to shine. She's like, Where's your position? Where is your position and it's just kind of one of those things in our group that we every year it comes up we just pace ourselves but there's a line from Tommy that's like we're on like that line too, to say we're filming and it is just voted all day every day across all of our nights like we're on. We're going we're on the cab. See, we're on we're on like, it's one of those things that even my even Ben says, and he didn't even know that were on for dinner like it just has always been seen. So it's hilarious. So you weren't really in the video, but you've definitely definitely had your mock.
Can you actually go back and tag me in it, please get a
Hopefully, we're on.
Has it been nice? That's like, completely different like a misconception from what you thought parenting was going to be like to what it actually is.
I don't know. I don't think I went in with too many expectations. I think the thing that's helped me not have too many kind of confusing moments or stressful moments has been coming Cuz I really wanted to be led by him and since we didn't know who he was, what he would want what he would be like what kind of baby I I've really try and get myself to go back and and not trying to figure anything out and even through my pregnancy and I think that is absolutely a testament to the fact that we had to go through a fertility treatment we really didn't have much option other than to surrender and wait for this child to decide when it wanted to come and that was such a very big part of what had us work through that time as strongly as we could. So I am super proud of the fact that we were able to use a lot of the things we learned in that time for now. So I guess it does connect and and we just wait to see what bring shows us and so if i because we we leave like that and we try and parent like that doesn't always happen, but I wait to see what he presents to me as opposed to me guessing or leading him. There isn't a whole lot that I am anticipated or thought of because I made sure that I take a backseat, but make sure that I'm the second beat. Like if he beats first and I I kind of then respond to him. So if you think like that you don't really have too much time to think about what it would be because you have no idea because you've surrendered the that path to him telling you Does that make sense? Yeah.
Yeah hundred percent because if you if you had all these expectations of what it was going to be like they're only conjured up in our mind anyway because if you haven't experienced something, you don't have the information you haven't felt it or embodied. So it's a it's almost a good approach for you know, not everything in life but a lot of stuff. It's like, you know, letting go of that needing to totally understand every element of what's about to happen.
I guess it can Stein I think I tried Shin as well like projecting what you think should be happening or how they should be responding. Yeah.
I think I tried to do that in so many areas of my life and I, I would, I would be able to achieve it sometimes. But it was very hard, like the whole process of surrendering is incredibly hard. And I like control. That's definitely something that helps me feel safe. So I would have worked really hard on constantly trying to let go of that. And I don't think I really was able to execute it as well as I have been since Brynn came along, but more so when you're a person or a couple that is really ready to have a baby and has dreamt about becoming a parent for most of their life. I was definitely one of those people not a person was like, not maternal, like I always really wanted it. When you come to a place where you have to accept it, that may not happen for you. There is no greater surrender than that in my in my experience. So, you know, I had to really come to the idea that this has to be the way it's going to be and if that means that we We end up with a child that's not biologically ours, you know, we had to open up to all possibilities and surrender out any expectation of how this is going to go. Because when something means that much to you, yeah, it's too It's too extreme for you to leave your life hanging on to that is giving too much weight to something, you know, it was so important to us. But on the flip side, we had to let go of it. So the most important thing that I'd ever wished for was the thing that I absolutely had to let go of in order for me to figure out how to get it. And so, you know, I definitely think that that attitude early on has helped me jump into parenthood that way, if I hadn't have gone through that, then I don't think I would have been as successful trying to do that. Now that then we have been, what, like, how has the relationship changed with you and Ben? Yeah, that's hard. That's that's tricky, because you go through different uses. Go through different experiences, you're both parents, but you're no longer a couple in something so you you are that's probably a bit extreme, but you know what I mean? Like I you, you're both becoming parents but you as parents isn't the same experience. So, the coupledom is kind of broken a bit because you I am Britain's mother, Ben's brains father and those things are very different things even though you're both parents, particularly at this point, we both offer and do different things in the picture and it's really opened up a whole big conversation around you know that those real primal things to that like in a masculine and in a feminine and what he feels like you know, how he's reacted with, you know, stress and sleep deprivation and an energy levels and how I've reacted to losing a lot of my independence and also sleep deprivation but luckily for me, breakfast radio, definitely trying to do that. So it's been really tricky because your relationship doesn't just change for a while there, you're almost kind of individuals with this person. And I didn't really understand that until that happened, that we are very different entities in this family dynamic when it comes to him. And I'm sure over time, that will slowly that gap will close a little bit more and especially after I stopped breastfeeding, it will, it will close but I think there always be a separate separate thing. Like you can even find yourself it's not getting competitive, but you're almost like I had, you know, he laughed at me and then you know, Ben will be like, Oh, he laughed at me yesterday, you know, just ridiculous things that like you find yourself saying and, and, and even when Ben he did he did a game that I invented the other day where he was standing and sitting and I was like, get your own game smacked like what who, why? Why does it Why am I saying is like so all the sudden you drain this family picture and you are a fan. And it is the greatest thing to see the person you love and trust and choose to go into that part of your life. It's just it's the absolute greatest and it takes you to this whole other level. You know, everyone's like a sex after birth, but it's been unreal because you're just obsessed with each other in a different way. But I didn't plan for it to feel at time so separate, even though it is so unifying.
Is there a unified, you know, like, Is there like, I know you talk about that future getting close together, but how can you sort of join it all up, but what is also to join today?
There's a locking, there's a locking and a stability and a strength that comes from, you know, I come from a home where my mom and dad broke up quite young and those kinds of things have always felt a little bit you know, that Home Security life has always felt a little bit flimsy. You know? Feels so rock solid in my home. We are so on the same team in terms of our values and the way we want to do things and there is a is 100% a unity that is very unspoken and I think a lot of it also go comes from birth. And you what you go through from that birth experience. It just you just have this complete respect isn't even the word like it's a, there's something that changes in the DNA of your relationship that makes it this kind of like just the tree trunks, the roots are just grounded so much deeper in the ground it is. It's a different kind of security that I've never I've never I don't remember. Like I don't really remember feeling like this. It's even in other parts of my family life. It feels very incredible. It's an awesome thing. So there's there's that it's just it's just different.
I also, I remember feeling the empathy for relationships that also don't make it Those times, right? So it's like, the challenge is so huge. And the friction I was thinking, like for the relationships that have, you know, maybe gotten fallen pregnant when they weren't that serious, and they've decided to push through and so I almost, I kind of get it right. I get that the it could be too much it could be you know, the, the, the in turn the Trust's in there, or just many things playing a part of it and sleep and you know, it but there is a there is a bond there, but I do I do see how it Not everyone gets through.
Yeah, I think
I think for me, parenthood needs to be such a choice. And I think this has got to be something to do with my next book because I think so many of us choose the next step in life. And for many people that happens to be parenthood and that marries quite well because It just also happens that you really wanted. And I'm not saying that people that have kids don't want them. But maybe some people do have them earlier than what they, they, you know, they could if they had if they think about their life a little bit more as to what is my timeline that's true to me and not the timeline that we're told to have. And I think Ben and I very much lived in our life. Ben is in his 40s. So he's, you know, from a traditional perspective, an older parent, and I'm certainly not in my 20s having my first baby. And, and so, we were very, very sure that this was the time for us and I don't think you're ever 100% certain, but we kind of were especially being challenged the way we were. So I think there's something else in that is that you know, it's there's such a power in making a decision to become a parent and being, being in that decision. Because it's about you wanting to To not be about yourself, and not becoming a parent because you want the love of the kid or you want something from them. We wanted to be parents because I was so sick to death of talking about myself. I wanted to have a whole life that was not about me. I had spent so much time and still do you spend so much time telling my story and, and talking about myself that I was so ready to completely invest and give something that had nothing to do with me, you know. And so, I think that helps when you are choosing because you're choosing from truth as opposed to choosing because, okay, so we say for a house, we get married, and then that's the next thing is the common narrative,
right? Like I feel like that's where you can get stuck is if you just think I've got to do this. I have to do this and then the whole biological clock or whatever, obviously gets people stressed out. Do you think what are some of the questions that you think people should ask themselves? To sort of unlock whether having a kid or being a parent is right for them.
I think the question needs to be about I'd even say it's going to be more of a feeling. If you're feeling like you want to do that. Because you want to be given something as an initial reason. You need to ask yourself, whether it's the right time, because as much as they give you so much, they take just as much and I don't think that that's necessarily a good or a bad thing if you've asked this question or not, but just going back to from Tommy's comment about how people don't make it. I do think it can be more challenging if you are going into it first. Because you're looking to receive before you're looking to give, so if the first feeling that comes up is the reason that you want to have a baby is To receive, then I'm not saying you shouldn't have a baby, but you do need to understand that that may you may find the times where you're not receiving much more challenging than if you came to the decision by wanting to give first,
does that make sense examples of so like you're talking about like serving something other than yourself? What would what would be some examples of the the mindset of trying to receive or, or having a kid for like to be able to receive?
Um, well it's pretty you know, people want I don't know, this is like, feels a little bit judgmental. I don't know if I don't know I think we all have a right to receive nice things into right to receive love and joy and connection and, and giggles and happiness and, but I think it's like whether you this is going to be controversial, but sometimes I think whether you're a dog or a cat owner says a lot about you, because for different reasons, but cats are obsessed with you a bit.
They know dogs. Dogs more cats don't give a fuck about you stays
that way you can look at it but cats can get a bit possessive. Like they get a bit like she's mine. Like Don't touch her or you're my bitch or there's like this energy that's kind of like, you know, like, like, there's just this real intensity of need. It's almost like a codependent relationship, whereas dogs, I feel like a wireless codependent. Even though they're dumbasses. I still think that there's a chance that we could come home and be out for six hours and they don't really know if it's one hour. I think they do. But you know what, to me, you know, you know, I'm kind of rambling.
Lately wrong, Stacy. I think that dogs are more for people who like receiving I think if you're a dog person, you're more intense Whereas if you have a kid with a cat, you just need to be happy with the fact that you're gonna feed them but then they're gonna do whatever. Yeah.
I know what you mean because they're independent, but I'm not really talking about receiving I'm more talking about that codependency. Right, so going back to the question about babies, I think often people need to feel needed. Yeah.
I mean, it's, like a puzzle, like, would that be like the whole going to the game thing where it's like, you know, peekaboo was something that I had with brain like, you can't play peekaboo or whatever. Like, is that where's where's that coming from?
That's coming from competitiveness. That's nothing to do with dependency. That's a complete conversation between my husband and I, it's got nothing to do with the poor child. But it's it's more I think, I don't know. I think that there is an ability for us to dive into things to feel feel something and I would look at Parenthood, as as really being a motivator to start from a place of you wanting to feel it for them as opposed to them feeling it for you.
It's like everything though don't you think TJ like we talked about that with like work like you don't you don't start a podcast or do all of this if you want to make money your receipt like you've got to do it by Josh so
many people do. Yeah, like you remind already glamorous, and that's why it's doing 100% you've got no idea the amount of people that messaged me saying I want to do you know, and there's no judgement to that, but there is a very different motivator behind most people doing this kind of work and you look like you're one of those people to a lot of people as well. You don't have a like we all are put in the same box. The only way we know who's the difference is behind the scenes and getting to know people and their true intentions. But mostly we
all reflect doing it. It's being steadfast like to the point to your point on if you're doing it to receive Then all of a sudden, it becomes very hard to be in a place of service. Whereas if you're like, service first, then anything that you receive is bonus. And that's, that's how I
and I need to just also add to that I think you need to constantly check yourself. Like, I don't think that when you decide one day, that all of a sudden you're going to give first before you receive that, then that's just your lifelong, you know, it's locked in for life. A year later, you may be finding yourself in the same boat doing the same kind of work and now having expectation that you didn't have 12 months ago, you have to constantly check yourself in that, you know, it's not just sit
you build a muscle around the giving part, and then asking, or you know, receiving or in terms of creating something before you've even asked, you know, for anything in return, right. I think people get very good at being able to just give, give, give and I can Sometimes come at the detriment of the person just giving,
right? What's that hope put on your face mask or whatever, you know, put on your oxygen before you help other people. It's like if you're, if you're always giving as a parent, if you're like, you know, you see parents that are like that, where it's like, they absolutely destroyed because they're doing everything that for the kids in there, but they then lose their identity and then probably in the long term, they actually end up doing more harm than good.
100% I wrote about this in my book, because my mom was a single mom and, and she was very much celebrated in that that she was she would say quotes and words to us that you kids everything to me, you're my light, you know, all those things. And that was very much particularly as a woman that's very celebrated. But actually, I had to really retrain that messaging to tell myself that I was worthy of self care and that I was worthy of putting money into my I don't know, whatever like into going to a therapist or studying this or taking a holiday I like those kinds of things would take me a couple of guys for me to get my head around thinking I was worth any of them because my messaging system was told that, you know, that, that I wasn't that you weren't necessarily even though her intention was to give us everything, you know what I mean? But that's but you kind of you learn from example a lot of the time so yeah, complex
though, isn't it? That's it. Like that's such a hard one because it's like, it's like anything, it's like dessert dessert is delicious and can serve you. If you have too much dessert, you know, you function out you know if we can learn anything from ISO. So you don't know if we had Indian last night and there was a we had the option of it was $48 for all the things separately or you could get it in a meal deal for 43 but it came with dessert. And so we did the dessert and so I had dessert on a wait And sometimes is that before
shaving your head or
after that was that before I went straight and shave my head just to feel a bit.
was a ball that
stays. Yesterday we're talking about sticking to stuff and and it's almost like and Josh at one point you said like it was referencing sort of that accountability around doing the show at 4pm. And you know, we'll show up because people are here or whatever. And we were sort of talking about creating and Josh, you'd stop doing your photos and that was around the discussion. You photos each day. But what have you found stays in instead of working out why you've stuck at something and then trying to sort of reverse engineer it like we always you know, try and be clever and work out how to then apply it to something else. Have you got a formula for sticking to either a creative practice or even you know, personal practice, exercise, meditation, these things
Like, like a discipline you'd like an underlying
look at how long it took like thank you girls for and like even being able to whilst you know you're being a mom and all that sort of thing still getting the podcast out, like even doing throwbacks and things like what pay
is I'm not recording and yeah, I'm not recording any new podcasts and I have an online person that's helping me which I should also raise. Like, it's not you know, I'm not sitting there on my phone shooting all this, like, I've got somebody that's helping me do keeping that stuff afloat, as well. But, yes, so from that perspective, I don't really feel like I'm kind of like she's just doing it big day. I guess I am still committed. For me. I've always been motivated by feeling it's so there is no real analytical kind of structure PowerPoint presentation that I have around discipline and that sometimes drives my hubby crazy because we are building different businesses and we have to For an ideas of businesses to build, and he definitely is much more driven by that, that you know, those kinds of benchmarks. But I'm a I see myself as a bit more of a visionary person and a bit more of a feeler and what can look be looked upon as a floater. And it's really taken me a couple of years to get some confidence in staying on the track. I'm on I think, the last few years, I really questioned whether that was somebody that was maybe a little bit naive, that maybe had to step up be a bit more responsible. But I fallen back on No, I don't I've had success doing it that way. And I am much more. I think that those types of structures work for people, but I think they're also structure and I just don't really find that my best work is is from a place of structure essentially. So I've had to on the flip side of that, stop beating myself up about having lost Little structure, which has been my structure. Yeah. So I've had to get off my own back about not having these, I think, I guess this idea of, you need to do that by this point, or you need to be accountable by this point. Funnily enough, when I take the pressure off myself to do that, I always show up. Like how is
every stage like because the thing is you're you don't do things in the traditional way. I feel like even myself that can happen where it's like, you go on your own path, but then you can get those little voices around like oh, you need structure you need to be doing you need to be up at this time, which can then derail all of that other work that you're doing.
I think as well, when I feel really good about the work, I want to do it. And I like a machine like you can't get in my way when I want to do something. So I might as well focus on things that I can why want to do because it will be way more potent and powerful for me to get ahead, doing it that way. Then It would for me to have a Google Doc with my, you know, all my posts across the week and look through the girls and that we had a team. So everyone's got different ways of working. So you do also it's different now that it's run by myself and I have my own. It's just me and anybody that wants to work with me comes into my, my domain, and they have to kind of work with how I want to work. When you work with the team or in a partnership. It's different. You've got to kind of have structure and a little bit of, I suppose. accountability, so everybody feels like everyone's sharing the load. But even then, it was funny because both of us were very much similar from that perspective of being driven by loving to do it. And so it's, it's a it's a funny one, because I think you get I get so much more done by doing things that way than I would if I was to plan to do something too much. I just have to make sure that I'm really into it. And that can be scary. Because maybe last year when I was trying to fall pregnant and was pregnant, I would I didn't have many ideas coming to me. I think I even said to you guys, when we spoke last I was really in the middle of things. And that was very uncomfortable. Because I, I was so used to pushing so used to creating and nothing was coming because I was nesting and it was supposed to be that way. Now, I cannot stop myself I have four different domains in my cart at the moment, I am back like in a way that I need to watch how much I put out because I have a child now. But it comes and it will come and I just had to trust that it would come again. And when I now go back into the place where I need to rest and it's not going to be there. I need to make sure a I've got savings in a backup in case that happens again and make sure that i've you know that that doesn't take too much of a dive in our lives. And be I get off my own back and just give myself a break because I know in the past times that I will work and when I am passionate about something. It is very hard to have somebody that's more productive than me in my own way.
97 is doing such a good job just sitting there. Obviously these conversations for 20 year old you're not necessarily thinking all of these saves. But what's a question? He's just it was just looking at your head.
He said she can't stop looking at your head.
But crystal and Jasmine I pointed I saved
my truck. Can I feed my child
like Yeah, sure. Yeah. This is this is the Kaitlyn Brooke moment to remember that famous the panel. He's crying
so I bet it's helping to bring him in. Okay.
Service Have you got a question? For Stice?
Yeah, I mean, it's, I guess it's around like it's it's like this idea, like thing that you've Yeah, it's an experience that you're going through. And so I think some people probably have an idea of how amazing it is and it doesn't sometimes hit those reality so expectations but I guess like what what are some of those small little things that are just like the things that you love the most that are probably like the big things that everyone looks forward to
and when you say ideal like are you talking about my love my work life
nice like the cute kid Jesus Christ moron with cute.
Let's get a second but you want to say
Hello. Very Hungry being very patient having you
we're on piccaboo all
right let me just attach my let me attach.
Okay fine. Yeah.
You saying saved just for people that might like it. I think. I don't know the percentage but there's a lot of women that have a pretty horrible experience around the whole childbirth. thing like me didn't have an idea. You.
So you're saying to me, he's so interested? This is a different age now. Like he gives a shit about things. There's no, there's no nip, guys, is it?
right. I know realise that as I said that.
Not a good thing to say. Oh, whoa, hang on what am I?
Yeah. So are you saying yes, in terms of a lot of the things that I'm saying are quite idyllic, but it may not be. The journey may not be that or it may not be that that why, sorry.
Yes. That's like, that's so good. Now, I think it's a little bit of that. But I think like
forward to having a kid and having all these special moments, but they're those small little things that you don't really think about that may stand out or that may actually bring more joy than the big things that you're Just looking forward to Are there any sort of like small things, really enjoyable moments or experiences that you thought you wouldn't enjoy or thought you wouldn't look forward to?
I try I know it sounds a little bit cliche, but I try and live like that all the time because I find that I am a bit of a I am a content I've always been I fucking hate the word content creator. But I've always been a person that's weirdly stepped in and out of my life, like I kind of snapshot things when you're, when you're in radio, you're constantly thinking of your life as content, right? And then I stepped away from that. But what it did give me the ability to do was still snapshot moments. So it may not be something that's topical, but I really do have this ability to kind of almost take a bit of an aeroplane like you've been in I just randomly said last night I've been stressed and right like you know, writing the book and we're trying to do a bit Everything and Ben just put on a song and we danced in the lounge room. And I get teary thinking about it. Because that's my life. That's the moments. That's what I wanted. That's the things that are incredible, not necessarily the, I mean, the eloping and the glitter jumpsuit, and, you know, the thinking skills and being on air and all those kinds of fancy things. They're all great. But you know, putting an ad track on and just pouting it out and but now where we spring because we have a kid that's asleep, it just, I have this ability to kind of go like, take it in my memory and go, I think I often just say I'm, I'm so grateful in my head. So moments like that happen all the time in this joint. But I do also think on the flip side of that, I think you have to make them I don't think they all just come so naturally and I think we wait for these moments to happen in our life. And of course when he smiles for the first time or you know if there's still a moment where Ben will say You look really pretty, or, you know, someone sends you flowers, and there's moments in your day or your life that come up with that you planning and they're beautiful. But I do also think that so much of our life, we have been told that so much is supposed to happen to us. And I am by the true belief system that most of it we need to make happen ourselves. And I'm sorry if that's, you know, taking out the romantic part of the way we look at life. But we can choose to continue to live in this denial about the way life works, or we can start to be really honest with ourselves and go, you know, sometimes those moments you need to create and do I want to have had to remind my husband that Mother's Day is coming up in a couple of weeks. No, I don't know, because we're told that he's supposed to just know, but why would I get in my own way? It's just he just like I didn't even need to necessarily say it, but I was like, it's the first one and it may not be on his right eye, you know, so just it's not that I've necessarily created anything, but it's just also not looking Everything like we have to wait for it to come to us. So,
positivity, right, like you have the option of like, expecting the fuck up or expecting things not to work out or you can be like, there's a little thing that I can do right now a little perspective shift a little thing to actually make it happen. I think that makes
your life yeah, sorry. It's nice to like, thank you. You go
No, go on.
I'm gonna feed my baby. I'm not not that eager. You guys dies.
I think it's just important. Like I kind of in this house. Now, it's been really early on for us to, you know, have this family unit. But I already know, this kind of idea of how I could resist really quickly being the memory maker. You know, I think women often feel like they often other person that has to do that, but I'm really trying hard to make sure that I take care And be really proud of that and just really take that quite seriously because exactly as your question my site, those moments are the things that actually really matter. I just don't think we and we should take them super seriously and when women do it, it should be acknowledged and really appreciate it. But also, we should acknowledge the power in it ourselves. Instead of constantly waiting for someone to say thank you, whatever the moment is, thank you a lot of the time. You know the moment experiencing it and putting your effort putting effort into it is, is doing that right, buddy?
perspective shift last night, Bodie, will you play with me Daddy, and he wanted me to come down and play a little tracks. I was like, ah, didn't feel great. I couldn't be bothered. I was tired. And it's at that moment, right. It's like, hobbies, the person who you think you are, or the things you want to be taking a kid on an adventure because you think he the adventure guy is annoying at times. Right, but then like, that's the surface, isn't it?
Putting this for yourself.
And I think makes with that.
Yeah, but also with those idealic things, it could be not about a kid, it could be about, you know, you feeling like, I don't know, like, I can't, I can't wait to be asked out on a date in this particular way. Or, you know, I really would wish my friend would be better at buying birthday parties just dumb shit, you know, that you kind of worry about. It's just, it's not necessarily that you need to go and do those exact things yourself. But I think we do need to be committed to putting in it is actually a bit of a thing like that we've spoken about Joshua said might be the giving like it's kind of that idea around being open to creating memories for ourselves and not necessarily waiting for them to come to us
and also saying I think we should of scepticism as well. Like I think that it's so easy to Be sceptical. And to think, I guess if you even think about like the the stuff the stuff around what's that hole, the think space, you've gotten into it around. You think something like the secret type of stuff. Like if you look at the secret law of attraction, the law of attraction, like if you look at it from the very basic level, it's just like, have a positive attitude and bring the positivity from your end, which I guess if you bring the positivity from your end, I feel like you're way more likely to see it returned rather than looking at everything. Yeah,
it's, it's physics. It's science. Like when you put something at it's it's likely that I don't know the I'm actually seriously thought about researching it. But like actually going back to uni because I feel like this is the part of the conversation I have that I often don't really understand, but I trust it because I've seen it happen. But it isn't You know from an energy perspective you attract what you put out like and it's so even though you might not be you know, asking somebody out on a date but that's what you want if you are putting out nice things there's a good chance that some version of that date that you're hoping happens will come back because of what you did somewhere else. I don't know I it sounds exactly as you say really cliche and quite so like at the end but I try I really do believe it like believe that it works.
Seems like it's working for you. It's so good saying you happy and healthy and relaxed as well. It's great.
Did I did I used to not be as relaxed? Yeah,
I think Yeah, you used to I used to feel like I used to have to be careful with what I would say potentially
said that to me like it. I've done other people's podcasts as opposed to them they are mine. And a lot of people said you're really different. And I I feel different in ways but I am I'm always intrigued as to what that is like for others. It like people, you know what I mean? Like, it's weird, you do so much self development, but you can't really tap into what other people's perceptions of you are
maybe intent, maybe it's different. And maybe I've changed as well. But it feels like a difference in intention. Like, when we asked a question, you're thinking, this is coming from a place of curiosity, what could this mean? Let's work it out. Whereas I think potentially, especially because some of your ideas aren't necessarily mainstream or whatever, it could come across, sometimes as like, a you know, like, we're battling out on different value points where I think like, we can talk about the ship working out through the states,
you actually set it yourself. I you know, I dealt with you in the time that you were under pressure, you know, hadn't had thinking girls find the success ended up having and there was a level of anxiety that came out of my time. Yeah, intensity, When used and yeah, I get that I experienced that version of you. And it's it. I think it is. It's just a it's a, I mean, you gotta go through these things. Right? It was you then
I think as well I'm you now Yeah. And, and they're all the things on the outside but the inside part was that I was trying to work on myself, you know, trying to get comfortable with being on my own, trying to get confident, like I think a lot of the the confidence that everybody saw was a lot of bravado to survive and get the jobs that I wanted, but they weren't necessarily it wasn't necessarily self worth. It was more self confidence, which, again, I wrote about this in the book, they're really different. And it got me to a certain point and it gets you to a certain point, but you know, you've got to fill the cup from the like the date bottom bit, and I think that just took me time. So I think a lot of the changes isn't necessarily about the external stuff, a lot of it just comes from you. Yeah, getting getting a bit more comfy with who you actually are. And so these conversations like you were saying, you know, there is no real right or wrong there open. I think that happens when you get more comfortable with your take on it. Because you're not really that concerned. If somebody agrees with you or disagrees with you, you're more confident in it. And everybody has a right to have their versions of things, but it doesn't, it doesn't kind of jolt you. If
somebody else you're not defending your position. You're just you're just describing how you feel. So your podcast, couple girls, you're saying that that's the one where you and Ben talking about the whole experience? When's that?
God Who knows when we when we can be bothered editing it? Yes. Probably thanks for the plug. But, ya know, maybe a couple weeks is a taser at the moment. And I think we'll we'll get to it when we get to it. I think that's where we're We're at and that's what I think back to kind of doing this kind of work with him being so little. There is no, there's no, I don't care if you know before it was like, Oh, we've got to be consistent with what we do. And that's not my priority right now. So if we if I am creating content, it's because it's completely fitted into his life, you know, so we'll get there when we get there maybe a couple weeks, maybe a month, who knows? stays,
I like to think about Imagine if this time Coronavirus happened, you know, at different parts of our lives. And I was thinking about, imagine what if we were on air and like at the time, like, I like to
come down with you, TJ like I like we would have just because you're so creative, and you're so open to ideas, and we would have just created a whole land, we probably would have been massive successes to working together because we would just been like, we're going to do this and we're going to somehow get applying and somehow you know, like, I wouldn't want not to bail. Yeah. Come with him came pretty fun.
It's It's so funny like you could eat. Like, I'm grateful that it happened now at this point. But I mean, that's just the story. I'm the the the advantage of story I'm spinning at the moment, which I guess is a good thing of. I'm glad it's happening now, like at all points in my life and I'm sure there's people with the opposite version of that, which is massively unfortunate, but it's Yeah, life is weed.
Yeah, well if you so experiences that we have a hashtag which I haven't spoken about too publicly because I try and when I say publicly, I mean on my Instagram, like, but I try and be very conscious and sensitive to others. But we have a hashtag that we just do as an absolute joke between a couple mates and us of flourishing in ISO. Because a few of us have found and big and I think media as well. You know, a few of my husband works for the ABC and sometimes you can call have stopped to question what you're doing and whatever, but a lot of the work he's done has been really pivotal to kind of informing people not necessarily just, you know, beating stuff up or trying to get a clickbait thing like, working for a company like that has been incredibly important for people to actually get information. So just checking yourself and checking what you're doing and how important it is. I know that I've certainly had lots of people you know, contact about coaching or working on themselves. So we've really felt like a lot of the things we do have really allowed us to feel good about what we choose to do every day. And then also we have this little person in our lives at the moment so funnily enough, and we also just sold a property right at the right time that we just kind of ally sheet we're doing well that's feels really guilty, like I feel really guilty. We're doing quite well. But you know, it is what it is and I completely empathise with people that are not but our experiences that way. quested, I feel like we've been built to kind of be quite self sufficient and make sure that we feel happy with how what we do day to day. And so when these things come up, it doesn't it It hasn't maybe jolted us as much as a lot of people that are asking themselves the same questions and getting very different answers. You know,
like since it's been thanks days, we've had a bunch of comments, people loving the episode crystal says, guys, this is one of my favourite episodes. A lot of chatter around the snop sucker as well as electronics. Not soccer that you can I guess.
Where is this live?
Are the chat? Yeah, you just go to our youtube.com forward slash to the daily talk show. And that's got all the chat there as well. But we're doing a 24 hour stream on Friday 7am to Saturday 7am. And so we're preparing for that bit. Jasmine is asked in the comments because we've organised Mertz That we decided on Sunday, and we've been organising it all so we can get an express post to everyone. For Friday. So Jessica was asking, Are they getting printed right now? Yes, jazz now. We will chat with scooter. scooter Derrick. This afternoon with an update.
We get an update on the show from Desmond.
It'll be happening we need to serve DHL we need to contact them we need to get Do you have any updates on logistics? Not yet. No. Okay. Well, I think
God that's a scary proposition considering Australia Post is delivering delays right now.
And so what we see is DHL and will will actually drop it off to the Depo. We've got three, three orders in free orders NWA two orders in Queensland, seven orders in New South Wales. And then the rest in Victoria
as well as
represent New South Wales. And so we will we will have to work something out for the Melbourne ones I don't think the Koreas maybe we have to add the ID services on his learner's at the moment. I thought maybe he could go in my 30 and I could supervise. I could get up and we could drive around do some deliveries.
You're gonna love this.
Yeah, that's that's the problem. I braised it. definitely bring that up as the first thing. What's the worst that could happen? Right?
Well, yeah, you just crush a car. No one's on the roads anyway. Anyone?
Yeah, should be fine. And we'll do it all in some suburban areas where you feel more comfortable. We could go to show Baker's place tomorrow. Love it.
A little cute. We're all
excited. It's terrifying how into
this huge screens. Just loves
them. Yeah, but just himself and he just has a lot of eye contact with the camera lit like the down the barrel like he's just, it's scary and everyone's like what do you expect? And I'm like, well, there's only room for one and Miss
dice. Have a great wrestling.
guys. Hi. I'll have to tune in if I'm feeding him like in the morning on the front on their live thing. It'll be something to watch.
Yeah, well, 24 hour there all day. We'll be there all day. Not early mornings. Exactly there. Yeah. Thanks. Nice. Awesome. So daily talk show, guys. You can watch youtube.com forward slash the daily talk show. Apple podcast, Google podcasts, Spotify, you can listen in all those locations. Otherwise, we'll see at 4pm for the live stream on the YouTube channel. See you then guys. See you guys Right