No Sense Of Humour

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 648.

Tommy: Happening, guys. What is going on? Happy hump day.

Josh: Yeah, it's Wednesday. Thanks for the, for the reminder.

Tommy: Yeah, I gotta give everyone a reminder of what day it is. I know I pushed back on that at the start. You used to like to paint the picture, the temperature in the room. I mean, you still do that, but just quite differently. How are we all feeling today?

Josh: I'm a bit flat. Really? I've got to say, I just want to give a shout out to you as a parent. Yeah. I think that it's very tough. I even on the phone with you, I was like, can you mute it while I talk? Because Bodhi screaming is really hard for me to talk. I couldn't concentrate. And so, I realised you can't mute him.

Tommy: All he wanted was more honey, more honey, and then we ran out of honey.

Josh: But then you gave him more honey and then he was something else because you said, ah, nah, mate, when he eats, once he's got some food in him, he'll be fine. And then You went to a cafe and it was one of the baby chinos screaming about the baby chino. So I understand it is tough for you. How are you feeling? How are you going?

Tommy: Yeah, I think it's just a bit flat yesterday. Bit tired, really tired, painfully tired.

Josh: How much of that is looking after Bodhi 24/7 at the moment?

Tommy: Oh, I think, yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm not used to it. This is the thing. It's new for me to be with him every day. You know, all day. And yesterday we parked near Gemma Watts's house actually, because we went for a drive and he fell asleep.

Josh: That's good. Congratulations also to Gemma Watts, who's launched a new web rebrand of her Glow Journal website. Yeah, glowjournal.com.

Tommy: And so we parked near Gemma's house and I had a sleep while Bodhi was sleeping. I got up and collected sticks for the fire, which was fun. And so anyway, it's— I was so fucking tired. I felt better after it, but then I, I remember like I got home and picked— I picked up Amy and then came home and I crawled into bed. Well, it sounds like I'm such a bitch, but, um, I actually did a meditation and a little— tried to sleep.

Josh: I couldn't sleep, but then I got up and felt better., and now you're flat again.

Tommy: But yeah, I think it's, man, it is like not being able to— I think you take for granted being at work, you know, even if you're sort of not getting much done, it's like not as tiring as this.

Josh: I think, to be honest, I think the kid, having kids is a big factor. Like, I think you can't underestimate that because I think that like for you, what you are at the— like it's this constant thing of you have someone else who wants you to do all of this stuff.

Tommy: And I would never complain about this shit if I wasn't also thinking about what does the future look like, does our business exist, you know, but like in 6 months, whatever it is, like just dark thoughts on top of this stuff, because this stuff I couldn't complain about because my wife spent, you know, the first 8 months of Bodhi's life with him 24/7 and I was working.

Josh: Can I complain about it though? Yeah, you can.

Tommy: Yeah, you definitely can. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Josh: Well, I can complain on your behalf.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely.

Josh: And I can complain on Amy's behalf too. And, but I think that the thing is that on the other side you end up with like an adult human, which then you can like have barbecues and stuff with.

Tommy: But in the meantime, you just have this little fuck. When you see the owner who has a Jack Russell that's 5, 6 years old and it just sits in their lap and, you know, like it's everything you want in a dog and then you buy one and they're just shitting and, you know, they're not trained and like it's so annoying, but you get there. And the reward on the other end is a lap child.

Josh: Do you do timeout?

Tommy: Yeah, definitely do timeout. He's been great. He actually has been good. He's just an energetic young child. You drive past a park and he's like, I want that. I want to go there now.

Josh: He wanted to go to the supermarket as well.

Tommy: He loves the supermarket, but I'm trying— I'm not letting him. I can't. And then I feel guilty giving him too much screen time. So he's limited to while we do the podcast, one movie. And so right now he's upstairs in bed watching— what is it? Some dumb shit.

Josh: Could you set up a supermarket at home?

Tommy: I mean, we've already got one, the pantry.

Josh: But yeah, so why don't you just rebrand it to the supermarket?

George: Seriously.

Tommy: No, we're having fun. It's so nice because I'm seeing a side of him that I've never seen before. Because I'm working. And so it's like this, you're seeing him talk more, you're seeing how much his vocabulary is, you know, grown. And, um, yeah, it's really cute.

Unknown: Gemma says he's upstairs, uh, reading Glow Journal.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: George, how are you going, mate?

George: Yeah, good. Yeah, um, just working away.

Josh: What'd you have for dinner last night?

George: Fish curry.

Unknown: Really?

George: I actually brought leftovers in.

Josh: Oh, you're not heating up fish curry in the fucking microwave?

George: I'll open the windows and stuff.

Tommy: It's pretty strong.

George: It's pretty strong.

Josh: How do you make the fish curry? Is it—

Tommy: how do you—

Josh: do you just go to a fish shop and buy fish or like what's— how do you make it?

George: I left the office yesterday to go past Woolies to get something for dinner. And there was nothing. There was like one piece of fish in the deli, so I got it.

Josh: The last piece of fish.

Tommy: Run the gauntlet.

George: And cut up some potatoes, sweet potato, yellow curry paste, fish.

Josh: Do you normally do this? Do you normally cook fish curry?

George: No, hardly ever.

Tommy: Look at Jamie Oliver.

Unknown: Yeah.

George: I like cooking other curries, but this was a good one. This was going to definitely be in the repertoire.

Josh: I just worry about fish because Bree and I got some frozen sort of crumbed fish and we had it on our first day in self-isolation, which then we sort of had a meeting about our eating. It's like, let's not use our supplies until Uber Eats stops. So we've been Uber Eats because we don't want to—

Tommy: you don't want to support local, which what that actually means is until our wages stop.

Josh: Yeah, no, well, actually, I'm not— yeah, you're right. Support local. We're using skip the queue for our— so our local coffee shop that's just out the front, they obviously— you can't sit in anymore in Australia. They've stopped all restaurants and cafes, but they keep the takeaway option open. And so, yeah, the way that— and the lady who owns the place, all of her employees are off, like they've sort of called in sick or whatever.

Tommy: And so she's probably done it on purpose to save cash.

Josh: Well, no, I think that the way that she had been describing it to Bree was she was under the pump because she was meant to have people in, but it was just her on her own. And so this skip the queue means you can order your coffee and then you wait out the front and she brings it out, which is handy. So yeah, because the whole Uber Eats thing, it's an interesting point because Uber Eats are taking like 35% of every order.

Tommy: I thought they'd stop that. Didn't they stop it?

Josh: No.

Tommy: There's just the noise around. This is a great idea to stop it. I just went to a cafe and got a coffee and a babyccino, and I asked the guy, how you doing? I did the Josh Johnson. How are you?

Josh: Did he hang up on you?

Tommy: How are you? And he just ignored me. No, it was the owner. It was an older guy. It's a similar vibe. And he said, mate, we're just making salaries. And I thought, that's why I'm here.

Josh: That's why I'm supporting, just keeping them going. On the Uber Eats thing, have you seen what Keegs is doing?

Tommy: What is he doing?

Josh: I mean, I got a little bit of a gist of it through Facebook, but so yeah, so our mate Keegs, he's the founder of Awedata, which is that analytics— oh, sorry, audience tool for radio stations. And he was overseas and is required now that he's back home to do 14 days quarantine. And he's built all the technology within Auddata. And so what he's decided to do is over the next 14 days, build an app and livestream the whole thing so people can learn how to do it.

Tommy: Well, it's cool. I mean, so it's like a screen capture and it's, um, and he's commentating and it's great. He's got a great voice too, like he's radio, radio head.

Josh: And so his, his idea is, um, uh, as he sort of co-created with a bunch of other people on Twitter and on social in general, and so the idea is ISO Mates and it's a way for, um, people to find out businesses in their local area that they can still get coffee from and things like that.

Tommy: Isolated mates.

George: I love it.

Josh: Yeah, iso mates. Yeah. I've stopped wearing deodorant.

Tommy: Have you? Are you smelling less? Is this a side effect of isolation? Well, so you've literally stopped exerting any energy.

Josh: I smell like flowers now. No, earlier in the isolation, I went really hard on the natural deodorant. Yeah, the brand for people playing at home was Native. What are you shaking your head about, Seb?

Unknown: No, this is— we have so many issues with natural deodorant. Yeah, it's really annoying. You can't win.

Josh: It's either smelling good and no irritation or cancer. Cancer. Yeah, it's a nightmare. Um, and so the, uh, the Native one that I was using, I was putting on real thick Anyway, then I was like, oh man, I'm itchy. I looked and my fucking skin was like bubbling.

Tommy: Oh no.

Josh: And it was like a night— it looked horrendous. It looked like a, I don't know, like a wax gone wrong.

Tommy: If you can't get through putting on deodorant, how are you getting through catching the coronavirus?

Josh: Yeah, well, that's why I'm, you know, washing my hands a lot. And so I decided I quickly like had a shower and really like got under there and just cleaned it all up. We had some, I think it's cortisone, cortisone cream, maybe cortisol. Cortisol. I always get confused with them. I think cortisone is the one that I got in my back.

Unknown: That's it.

Josh: Yeah, that's it. Cortisol is the cream potentially. But anyway, so I, um, I put the cream on, went to bed, and then I decided I'm like, you know what, you hear the storeys about people saying, oh, you know, I didn't wear deodorant and it takes like, you know, 6 weeks, but then afterwards you don't smell at all. And so I feel like in isolation, this is the perfect opportunity for me to test this out.

Tommy: To not wear it.

Josh: Correct.

Unknown: Poor Bri.

Josh: That's fine. It should be okay, right?

Tommy: She probably likes this. You're actually not going to move much.

Josh: So you— Well, I'm walking to— I walked to the post office.

Tommy: Oh, that's not bad.

Josh: That's 20 feet. Yeah, I'm trying to walk. Seb, how are you going with the exercise?

Unknown: Yeah, well, I did my first workout yesterday. Dad went out and he picked up a squat rack, so I can now do deadlifts, squats, and bench presses, which is exciting.

Tommy: That's great.

Josh: It's got it in the garage or what?

Unknown: Yeah, yeah, in the garage. But it was actually so like, I haven't— I probably haven't worked out in maybe like a week and a half or whatever. No, but it actually— it was actually like, yeah, struggling for breath and all that sort of stuff. So the—

Tommy: maybe I'd love to see you and Grace on Zoom doing a kick workout.

Unknown: Well, she actually stopped her kick workout to watch this.

Tommy: Of course she did.

Unknown: Would you—

Josh: could you do— actually, that would be nice. Would you do a virtual workout with Gronks? Maybe we could start— maybe minimum viable product start with Grace. Just would you test that tech out for us?

Unknown: Sure.

Josh: Okay, great. So after this, maybe straight away, get it all set up.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Yeah, perfect. And so are you doing cardio then?

Unknown: Um, I will eventually, but no, I'm, I'm just, yeah, just working out like the squat rack and all that sort of stuff. So it's pretty much just like pull-ups and deadlifts and whatever.

Tommy: Josh, has Sevs told you about The person in the street. Oh, tell the story, Seth. Chairman Rick's fucking on the front line of this.

Unknown: Yeah, he is. Well, so they're a couple houses down, but Dad was out of our house the other day and he was walking past their house and they were sitting on the step and they yelled out to him, we've got the virus.

Tommy: You know, you don't want to be yelled yelled that anyway.

Josh: We've got the virus.

Unknown: Yeah. So, he was walking past and anyway—

Josh: How old were these people?

Unknown: I have no idea. They've come back from overseas, though. And so, yeah, they're just isolating themselves in there. Well, actually, not even in there. They're on the front step.

Josh: Why did they need to yell it out, do you think?

Unknown: Well, I mean, with Dad walking past, I guess it's just a good thing to let the people around you know.

Josh: Surely there's a You could put signs up and stuff, surely.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Do you think that the— I wonder what the government are telling people who have the virus in regards to telling people.

Unknown: Yeah.

Josh: Clearly don't have an answer. But Leah McClellan is very excited. She's saying Mason and Grace is a love storey we never knew we needed, but we all deserve right now.

Tommy: Definitely. Hi, Grace.

Josh: Had fun. Squats, hello. Which is a favourite. Um, yeah, I mean, I think that the, um, uh, how, how often it— so with, with the cardio, you're not going to really address it?

Tommy: Go for a run, mate.

Josh: No, no, I would.

Unknown: No, because the thing is, it's, it's built into the workout as well. Like, if you're doing high-intensity workouts, then it's okay because you're getting your heart rate up anyway. You don't necessarily—

Tommy: he doesn't need cardio.

Josh: Why are you telling him? I just think, like, just for heart health George, how are you going with your exercise?

George: Not good, because pretty much my exercise for the week is playing futsal on Monday. That's gone.

Unknown: What position are you in futsal, by the way?

George: I mean, to say we have positions is pretty—

Tommy: Best?

Unknown: But are you in defense, midfield?

George: Oh, you just sort of move around. There's only 5 people on the court.

Tommy: Do you kick goals, George?

George: A few.

Josh: Is it called a court for soccer?

Unknown: Oh yeah, futsal court.

Tommy: Okay, soccer field, futsal court. Yeah, it's a good distinction.

George: So that's gone. Um, did a few push-ups yesterday, probably will give them another go today. I don't know. Yeah, I'm pretty slack.

Josh: That's okay.

George: I walk a lot though. I walk a lot.

Josh: Are you doing— are you guys finding that you're doing more FaceTimes?

Tommy: I spent, I spent 45 minutes on Zoom with Hayden, Hayden Dibb last night. He, I saw that he added us, added me to Zoom and then I called him.

Josh: He added me too.

Tommy: Yeah, no, but I didn't get an ad.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: All right.

George: Have you seen the Zoom call that's doing the rounds at the moment?

Josh: The girl in class?

George: The girl who like sits down on the toilet.

Tommy: Takes a piss.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. That's great. It is great, isn't it?

Tommy: And so anyway, we kind of had a catch-up via Zoom. We watched the address to the nation that ScoMo gave at 9:15 PM. And so we were just on— it is weird. You're just kind of on Zoom in the background. It's like you're just there. It's like when you were a kid.

Josh: Three ways.

Tommy: Three ways. Seb wouldn't have done this. I mean, if you're talking to me, Josh, three-way meant something.

Josh: He hasn't done a one-way, let alone a three-way.

Tommy: No, but we say I'd be on the home phone. For hours and sometimes you wouldn't be talking, you just hold it on your ear and you'd be doing something. It's weird, you know, something you might experience with Grace, but it's a new time where you can just be with each other but not in the same room.

Josh: Falling asleep together is quite cute.

Tommy: That was cute.

Josh: You just like have the phone. Yeah, definitely. You just sort of have the phone talking.

Tommy: You hang up.

Josh: It would be like 3 AM. It's like, oh, you hang up. Yeah, yeah. It seriously was like that.

Tommy: Full blow-up, just you hang it. No, you, you hang up.

Josh: Anyway, talking about blow-ups, what do you think's happened? Like, if you were close to getting a divorce or you weren't loving your partner right now, annoying time.

Tommy: Annoying time. It's almost the, the kids excuse. You just stay together for the kids. You just stay together for the coronavirus because it's one of those things you want to go through it with somebody else. And if I lose my job, Amy's got income. If Amy loses her job, I've got it. You know, it's one of those—

Josh: Is that how it's going to work? If Amy loses, how are you getting income?

Tommy: It will be harder.

Josh: Yeah. If Amy loses her job, we both don't have income.

Tommy: But you definitely— yeah, there definitely would be couples staying together. Testing though, testing times, like the the annoyance level, you know, the frustration being at home. It's all, it'll be all sort of very triggering. George, your sister works in domestic violence, and you said that there was an increase.

George: I think there's been a bit of an increase because, yeah, because couples are at home together, and so there's been a lot of callouts and stuff, which is—

Unknown: that's full on, isn't it?

George: Yeah.

Tommy: It's horrible. It's absolutely horrible.

George: Also, like, maybe for new couples that are quite young, still living at home, they probably won't be able to see each other for the next few months.

Tommy: No, I mean, it'd be like if you had to develop your relationship and you're interstate and you've never met and you had to do it over Zoom and stuff, you know, that it's a, it's a, it's an interesting time. It's the perfect time in a lot of ways to form a beautiful, beautiful relationship, isn't it?

Josh: What stages do you think— TJ, you're talking about you're tired. How are you actually— what stage do you think you're at in the whole sort of journey of emotions?

Tommy: Because I had a cold and Amy had a cold and she was waiting to hear back from somebody who she works with that was waiting for test results for coronavirus. And so in that sort of leeway, you're like, ah, definitely got it. We're definitely going to have it based on this guy not getting his test results and us being really sick. And so then I haven't come across really sick, but I've just felt a bit shit. And so I'm actually starting to feel better in that way, which is good. But then just tired. But I think there's one thing I was thinking. It's dark and I don't want people to all go there, but it's thinking about— I don't think it's been considered if you get this thing. So right now we're trying to like— everyone's strategies are around how do we— how does our business survive? What does the new world of our business look like? What does the future of the business look like? How do I keep my job? How do I get government payments? It's not taking into account that if you actually get the illness, the disease, you're then locked away for 14 days and then the priorities are going to shift. So our priorities at the moment are focusing on surviving from an economical standpoint, food standpoint, you know, an adjustment to our social lives, not about our health. And so a friend of mine, my friend who has it up in, up in New South Wales, he was doing some Insta storeys Follow his page, My Hempul, like hemp, Hempul. My Hempul, they do protein powders and lots of good stuff. He got back from Italy and was doing live, live, um, I said like Insta storeys and saying, you know, I hadn't hardly any symptoms, you know, a bit of a headache from the flight, blah, blah, blah. Like I'm doing good, I'm feeling good. And then he went off social media, like he wasn't posting. He came back on and he said, hey guys, the last few days have been seriously rough and tough and it got pretty bad there. And he wasn't in hospital, but I was like, this dude's a fit, healthy guy, my age, 31, and it fucking knocked him for 6. And he's like, I'm just starting to feel a bit better now. But, you know, and so that's where I'm like, when someone does get it, Because both of us, like, he's a friend, but he's not someone I call every day, you know, like, he's not one of you guys, which I haven't seen the effect to their world personally. So I'm only just hearing about it from him. And so I've been thinking a bit about that. And so what stage am I at? I was like, it was just a perspective shift on trying to work out stuff for our business in the future. Not considering health implications and the fact that a lot of people are going to get this. And so anyway, it's what a fucking weird time, boys.

Josh: Are you— Amy was watching Sex Education the other night. Now Bri and I have started watching it.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I'm trying to not get into— well, because I'm looking after Bodhi all day, I've been activating work mode at 5:30 PM, 6 PM. Or after dinner, and I've been doing sort of 3 hours of work. I did work this morning from 6:30 until 8, and then I'm going to get on the streaming. Getting on what? Streaming?

Josh: Streaming? Yeah, Netflix. Like, you're going to watch some Netflix?

Tommy: I haven't watched any Netflix since, since this. Okay. But no, I definitely will weekends and stuff, but midweek I find, um, I don't— the rule has been I don't want to get into a series because then If it's too good, it's like, it's annoying. I've got to watch it.

Josh: Could you let go of those rules? Like, that sounds like it's a rule that's not serving you.

Tommy: No, but it's like saying that I'll let go of the rule for Bodhi and screen time. I would rather not watch Netflix and have a fire with Bodhi and watch bush TV.

Josh: Have you got mushrooms? Sorry, not mushrooms.

Tommy: Mushrooms in the fridge. We've got some magic mushrooms in the freezer. It's not a joke. Do we have marshmallows? No, I've got to get them today.

Josh: Why?

Tommy: I haven't been to the supermarket since you last asked, so I'll get them today though.

Josh: Which one are you going to get? Sort of big ones or are you going to go sort of—

Tommy: Nah, the big ones are bogut. If you're roasting Trolley marshmallows or whatever that brand is, they feel, you know, they look like a toy. Industrial. They look like a toy. Like it looks like it shouldn't be eaten.

Josh: It looks like the Michelin Man's been killed.

Tommy: So, I mean, they are good because of the size of them, but I want to get just the classic— your classic— what's that brand? The pinky-looking packet? Pascal. Pascal.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: How do I even know that? That's weird.

Josh: Alexandra says sex education is so good. Leah says, oh my God, sex education is giving us life at the moment, watching an episode a night and loving it. Grace says, might have to add Sex Ed to the list. Nicole says, I accidentally binged the whole first season in 2 days. Jen says, the best show. There's a storyline in season 2 that broke me, but no spoilers, I promise.

Unknown: Is it funnier than Brooklyn Nine-Nine?

Josh: Well, you hate Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Tommy: Amy loves Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Unknown: It's not funny.

Josh: You actually, if you think about the words, you don't have a sense of humour. If you actually like really deconstruct it, you don't. Because, you know, people say you don't have a sense of humour, but if we really break down what that means, you don't have a sense of humor. Well, you don't know. You don't sense what's good. You saying Brooklyn Nine-Nine's bad is a lack of sense of humor. You know, here we go.

Tommy: I just wrote, why do some people not have a sense of humor? And we're on Quora right now. From a physiological standpoint, humour is complicated. People want to laugh. That's normal. Even very young babies laugh. It's making the connection between laughing and what is funny that is hard to understand. Some people are taught that humour is bad. Both of my grandmothers had no sense of humor. Okay, this is just someone giving their opinion.

Josh: That's all humour is, to be honest.

Tommy: Ishii recently has went— hang on. Yeah, this is just people.

Josh: Is Yahoo Answers still around?

Tommy: Yahoo Answers?

Josh: Do you remember Yahoo Answers? Yahoo Answers is like Quora for bogans.

George: Ask Jeeves.

Josh: Ask Jeeves was just a search engine, really.

Tommy: But here we go. Here we go.

Unknown: Yahoo Answers.

Tommy: This is a— mate, this is in defence of you from David on Quora. A sense of humour is very subjective, is a very subjective idea. Responses to humour can be different among individuals and cultures. That said, based on his need to explain that, blah blah blah.

Josh: That's a good one.

Tommy: Yeah, but yeah, you're subjective. No, so what would it say?

Josh: What do you like comedy-wise? What do you find funny?

Unknown: Kevin Hart's funny.

Josh: I mean, it's my eyes. Has anyone seen my eye?

Unknown: I just saw it then.

Josh: Yeah, it's like, I don't know what's— maybe I am having a melt. Oh, look, it's sticking, guys. This is the eye to keep an eye on. Go on youtube.com/thedailytalkshow.

Tommy: I think it's the screen time that you've had, like your phone and also the sitting at your desk.

Josh: So what's funny, Sev? And while we do that, everyone go into your screen time so we can get a screen time update.

Unknown: Great. Mark Maron's Netflix special is pretty funny.

Josh: So that's scripted, isn't it? Or is it, is it like a comedy stand-up?

Unknown: It's a stand-up thing. Yeah, that's definitely scripted.

Tommy: I don't find Mark Maron that funny.

Josh: He's—

Unknown: I don't find him funny in his podcast, but this, the stand-up The special on Netflix is actually pretty good.

George: Yeah, it's like Joe Rogan. I don't find him funny.

Unknown: I don't find him funny.

Tommy: No, on his podcast or his stand-up?

Unknown: Stand-up. Never watched his stand-up.

George: It's pretty bad. You wouldn't, you wouldn't like it.

Tommy: We watched it.

Josh: I don't think it's bad.

Tommy: I think he's very good, but like you said, it's— you don't have to like his humor. There are some— there is. Yeah, I agree with you, but he's a great stand-up comic. I think these are people who have been doing it for 25 years, and it's a craft, I guess. Dude, they, they're masters at their craft.

Josh: So what's the coming— if you don't— if people don't find it funny, what's the craft bit outside of being funny as a comedian, do you think?

Tommy: I think, okay, um, through lines and storeys and stuff and linking things back.

Unknown: I mean, I guess that's, that's the craft, whether it's—

Josh: there's a craft, observational, like, um, so nailing a story, but it might not necessarily be funny, because I completely understand. I would say that constantly, you know, are they really good at their craft? I don't like their humor, but they're good at their craft. And I just always wonder if that's just a, um, a little bit of an out.

Tommy: No, because I find him funny, and there's— and he has a huge audience. Yeah, he sells out arenas.

Josh: That's the— that's the Cora stuff, isn't it?

Tommy: The guy in the bottom, the guy on Zoom right now with his trendy jacket throwing shade at Joe Rogan, who sells out stadiums. George, who do you do?

Josh: That actually really pisses me off that you would. You're not in the arena, George.

Tommy: Yeah, because Joe Rogan actually sells out the arena.

George: Yeah, well, he just does weed jokes. That's pretty much 90% of his content.

Josh: Yeah, you don't like weed?

George: I just think it's a bit of an easy joke.

Josh: I feel like that jacket is telling us otherwise.

George: It's like when people just do sex jokes the whole time on stage. It's too easy.

Josh: Too easy. Yeah, I appreciate that. So what, what's, what's your sort of humor? What do you, what sort of themes do you like?

Tommy: Misogyny.

George: What was that?

Josh: What did you say?

Tommy: I said misogyny.

George: Just everyday observational humour that I can relate to.

Tommy: What is that?

Josh: In the edit suite, the others, anyone doing edit suite jokes? Premiere Pro shortcuts? Don't you just hate observational humor? Observational Premiere Pro. Do you hate when you go on someone else's computer and they've changed the keyboard and you think that you're doing a cut but you close Premiere?

Tommy: Yeah, change Ctrl+Save to Ctrl+Exit the program.

George: Yeah, that's good.

Josh: Good.

George: It's like, well, stand-up-wise, I think, well, Karl Baron, Pete Hellyer.

Josh: Old school. Oh, yeah.

George: Lionel Woodley. I love Lionel Woodley.

Josh: Oh, yeah.

George: You know, I like theatre on stage as well, like sketch comedy.

Josh: Improv. Do you like improv?

George: Yeah, I love improv. Improv, like Auntie Donna, those kind of guys.

Josh: Do you want to do some improv today? No.

George: Yes, and?

Josh: Yes, and. Well, let's get to the screen time. I would like to. We can do a little bit of improv just to finish up.

Unknown: Kailyn said her daily average screen time is 4 hours and 3 minutes, which is down from last week.

Josh: Oh, that's good, Kailyn.

George: So there should be a, there should be a punishment for how many hours you do.

Josh: Yeah.

George: If you're doing like 16 hours on Instagram, you have to—

Unknown: across a week?

George: Yeah. Yeah. At the end of each week, how many hours you spend on Instagram, you have to bring that many ideas to the show.

Tommy: Can we just— where were these hours in a previous life? Like before Josh, you and I were 15?

Josh: I haven't changed that much. As in, yeah, when we were younger, you mean? You were skateboarding and stuff, you were graffitiing, you were vandalising. Vandalising?

Tommy: Riding bikes. Yeah, I'd spend all day riding around looking for mischief or skating in the city. Like hours and hours and hours. It is. It's like, it's deep work. Where's that noise coming from?

Josh: What is that noise? I don't know. That's George.

Unknown: Is it George or is it Tommy? That's George.

Josh: It has to be George.

George: Yeah, it is.

Josh: It is George.

Tommy: So yesterday my screen time, fellas, was 6 hours and 41 minutes.

Josh: Mine was 7 hours 26.

Unknown: Yep.

Josh: George?

George: 3 hours 11.

Tommy: He was on the clock.

Josh: And then, Seb, how long for you?

Unknown: 7 hours and 4 minutes.

Josh: 7 hours and 4 minutes. How many in the text message app?

Tommy: Um, I think the big one here, Josh, is— okay, I see.

Unknown: Hour and a half.

Josh: Ah yeah, and a half on text. What time did that start?

Unknown: 3 hours and 17 minutes from 1 AM to 3.

Tommy: And that was to draught one message. Hey, um, what about your phone?

Josh: Good banter.

Tommy: How long was the phone call app used for yesterday?

Josh: Oh yeah, not long. It's not even in my, um, 4 minutes.

Tommy: I was at 46 minutes.

Josh: I guess we didn't speak on the phone. Oh, we spoke on Zoom a bunch, FaceTime stuff. But my number 1 was 2 hours 41 minutes for Instagram.

Unknown: Oh yeah.

Tommy: That's weird.

George: I don't know how to sleep per day.

Josh: So George, You probably know more about improv than we do. How do we set this up just to finish up? Little improv. What do we need?

George: All right, a scene.

Josh: Yeah, so is that, is that you, George? Still going. Just close that up. This is the, what app is it?

George: This is remote working, guys. That was Microsoft Teams.

Unknown: Oh no, mate, we're using Zoom. We don't, we don't use Microsoft products around here.

Josh: No, don't.

George: Absolutely not.

Tommy: Russ has a good product.

Josh: But it's just easier for us using this for now.

George: Open—

Josh: should I say Microsoft Teams is good because it's got the document sharing. Okay. Yeah.

George: Okay. Mason is a tram driver.

Josh: Mm-hmm.

George: Tommy is getting off the tram and Josh is getting on and they touch hands.

Josh: Okay.

Unknown: Did you read that from somewhere?

George: Just like that.

Unknown: Okay.

Josh: Why are you saying it like a robot then? Yeah, it did.

Unknown: And your eyes are like following text on the screen. Yeah, he's reading an email.

Josh: Wow. Yeah, it's not good. So, um, okay, so TJ's getting off the tram, Sevs is the driver, I'm getting on the tram, TJ and I touch hands. Yeah. Yeah.

George: Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Josh: Commence saying you start, Sevs. Um, ding. You're not the tram, you're the driver.

Unknown: I know, but I've just opened the tram doors. Have you been?

Josh: I don't think you should be doing sound effects.

Unknown: Okay, but so have you been at— have you touched each other yet or not?

George: No, no, they're getting— okay, okay. And the doors are opening now.

Tommy: See, I'm trying to bring Mason in. See you, Mr. Tram Driver.

George: See you later.

Unknown: Thanks for riding Yarra Trams.

Tommy: Appreciate it.

Josh: Ow, you just touched my hand.

Tommy: I just sanitised that. So it's all good, mate.

Josh: It's not about that. It was how hard you hit—

Unknown: Fellas, fellas, fellas, I'm gonna have to stop the tram. Can you please both hop off and have this conversation outside the tram?

Josh: For one, the tram is stopped. Two, I think that this is extremely unfair.

Tommy: Look, mate, I know it's a tense time at the moment, but Can you just relax?

Josh: It'd be easier to relax if you didn't hit my hand.

Tommy: I didn't mean it.

Unknown: Look, boys, we gotta stick to a schedule. The trams come every 10 minutes. We're gonna miss the next tram.

Josh: Hold triple zero. What?

George: Sorry, sorry, sir. Actually, can I see your ticket, please?

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: Here you go. Mine was validated at the last stop and expires the end of the month.

George: It's concession. Concession card, please.

Josh: Call triple zero.

Tommy: I think you'll find, sir, that the man who's complaining right now, he doesn't— he didn't swipe on. Can you cheque his, please?

George: The guy calling triple zero?

Josh: Yeah. Hello. Yes. Yeah, yeah, please. Yeah, calling Smith Street.

Tommy: No, I'm calling Cut. The one chance you get to not be a bitch, Josh, and you be a bitch.

Josh: I call triple zero. It's my default. I can't help it.

Tommy: But anyway, all of them end up being you just having been an absolute little—

Josh: just calling triple zero. Lara says, this actually happened once at the cinema I worked at and actually had to call the police because they were getting in a punch-on.

Tommy: See, I mean, I said this is very— I saw, I was on the phone to you before, Josh, and I was parked out the front of Australia Post in Bulleen, no, Templestowe, and I saw a man with a mask on in line and an elderly woman, and the elderly woman was cracking at this guy in the mask, and then he ended up having to like let her in front and he ends up leaving. It was a nightmare. Yeah, she was yelling and everyone's got to chill out.

Josh: That's why I stay at home, you know, do the self-isolating thing. And yeah, all right, well, that was a, that was a fun app. Thanks everyone on the live. Live stream. We've got some things we're working on which will be starting on Monday, which George is helping us with. We're excited about that. Anything else, TJ, before we go?

Tommy: That's about it.

Josh: So there's anything in the emails or—

Unknown: Nah, no emails.

Josh: Shouldn't have asked. George, you got anything?

George: Oh, there was a book update.

Tommy: Oh yeah, mate.

George: Oh, yeah.

Unknown: Great. So, Josh, this happened. It was episode 636, Looking Neat. And Tommy— So, Josh, you brought up the fact that there were— there was a monkey patting a baby tiger.

Josh: Yes. Which was on Matt D'Avella Insta story.

Unknown: But Tommy made the connection to the— What is it?

Tommy: Kiwi friendship.

Unknown: Unlikely friendship. Yeah, sure. So, George sent me a text this morning saying it was for Tommy, but I got mixed up because I was focused on Josh, and then Kaz sent the timecode to the episode where it was.

Josh: We don't need timecodes. Seems unnecessary.

Unknown: Well, we've got the proof anyway.

Josh: Kaz, look after your bookshop. Less timecode chat, you know.

Unknown: It was addressed to Josh because I felt like I knew him better, but it sounds like Tommy is more suited.

Josh: Still not making sense. It was addressed to me, but the gift was for Tommy. Definitely.

George: Yep.

Tommy: Pretty clear.

Josh: George, it sounds like you got it right in the first place. It was for me.

George: It was. Well, that's what I got told. It was for you. And then when she re-listened to the show, she said, oh, it was Tommy who Who said it? Not Josh.

Tommy: Yeah. And so right now you've got my book and I want it.

Josh: Well, once all this isolation stuff—

Tommy: Can you drop it off the balcony?

Josh: Yeah, I could do it. We could do that with some string. Remember those?

Tommy: Remember those when you were a kid? Like a little army figurine that had a parachute on them?

Josh: Oh yeah.

Tommy: That would be sick. Can you order one of those and then parachute the book down to me?

Josh: I did. It's so funny how things just start— you start getting looser with stuff, with like laws. I was thinking about drones and like, ah, surely I could just fuck around with some drones around the place. Like, there's no one out and about. I could send it up, get some cool shots of Melbourne.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I did think that too. I mean, I thought about stealing yesterday or the other day when I was at the supermarket.

Unknown: I think George mentioned he was thinking about murder the other day as well.

Josh: Were you thinking about murder?

George: Yeah. Was I?

Tommy: Go on.

Josh: It's extra—

Tommy: you can't remember, can you, George?

Josh: —worrying with that jacket.

Tommy: No, I tell you, Bodhi had a yoghurt in his hand that he'd been sucking on at the supermarket, and he'd finished it, and we were at the checkout, self-checkout, and I was thinking— he's like, Daddy, do you want me to put this in the bin? Literally, he saw a bin. I was like, what a good boy. And he's about to throw it in and I made the call, nah, let me scan it first. And so I scanned it. I almost was going to steal it.

Josh: Can I just say it is 100% unacceptable to be eating anything, drinking anything from the supermarket until it's been paid for. Yeah, really? 100%.

Tommy: No wonder you're not going to be a father, Josh.

Josh: No, but you do it even when Bodhi's not there.

Tommy: I think you're actually wrong on this.

Josh: No, you're actually wrong. I think that you can't eat something within the supermarket until you've paid for it. That's untrue. What do you think, George?

George: I love getting a drink to just have while I'm shopping and then—

Josh: But you're a murderer. Who are we to believe? No, it's— I think we could do it.

Tommy: Let's get this. So we've got two— What do you think, mate?

Unknown: I've never done it before. In terms of—

Tommy: You haven't done much, Mason, but what do you think about it?

Unknown: No, look, it's okay. I wouldn't do it, but it's okay.

Tommy: Yeah, there's plenty of things that I wouldn't do that are still okay. And it makes sense.

Unknown: Like, I actually— you know what? No, banana. No, you could do it with the banana. That's fine.

Josh: Yeah. You could crack open a banana. I would never. I think that's where our values—

Unknown: That wouldn't work because bananas are done on weight.

Josh: Do grapes count? Nah, JJ. You're off here, says Grace. I've tasted a few grapes before in the shops, but that's even— that's a different— the grape issue is even worse. Alexandra is saying she used to eat dates. Dates are expensive.

Unknown: Yeah, no, that's a good call, Alex. They're like $20 a kg.

Josh: I don't think you can be doing that. I think that the—

Tommy: if you get a bag of nuts that you've weighed and printed the sticker for and you are walking around, you can't eat those.

Unknown: But are you an animal and choose the cheapest label to stick on there?

Tommy: I mean, let's not talk about that first, but let's just say you're going to pay for them in the end.

Josh: You can. You can. You're the reason why there's security at self-checkouts.

Tommy: Why? Why are they offering free fruit for kids at Woolworths? It's a great—

Josh: yeah, it's a great initiative.

Tommy: Yeah, but is it for home?

Josh: No, it's to eat there.

Tommy: Is that so? Hang on, what do you—

Josh: Because it's free. They're giving you something for free. But hang on.

Tommy: So you're— we're not talking about people eating their food.

Josh: What I'm saying is if there's— if you haven't paid for something and it's not free and there's an expectation that you pay for it, you pay for it before you eat it.

Tommy: No, hang on. So you can eat— why can't you walk through eating a packet of Doritos and then pay for it at the end? You're not stealing it.

Josh: So it's the same thing because it creates so much confusion. For who? For everyone involved.

Tommy: It's absolutely not.

Josh: I think you've missed the point here, Josh. I think that— can we get this? I reckon if we did a poll, 80% of people will say that's all good. Maybe 80% of our audience are gronks, which makes sense because they all are.

Unknown: Shannon says she always scans the empty chocolate wrapper and takes a wrapper with her when she leaves.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. There's nothing wrong with that. What are you— that's great, Shannon.

Josh: That's really honest. Getting into such a— situation that you have to eat it all then. Don't you see that?

Unknown: It's not even, it's not even that though. It's not even like you're hungry enough to eat it there. You just, why not? You're going to have it after.

Josh: Leah says, I'm with Josh on this. Yeah, I think that.

Tommy: Leah, that's disappointing. You've got 3 kids. I'm sure they eat yoghurt.

Josh: Shannon says, it's just getting in the bin. No, I think, to be honest, I think Leah's got a very good moral compass, and I would much prefer to stick to that compass versus this sort of wishy-washy.

Unknown: What's the moral problem? Because you're paying for it anyway.

Tommy: Yeah. So there's no— there is no moral problem.

Josh: It's a respect thing. It seems disrespectful to be eating in a store.

Tommy: I think it's absolutely disrespectful if you ate a packet of chips, scrunched it up and threw away the packet and didn't pay for them.

Josh: No, no. I think that, yeah, you're right. But I think that the, the job of making sure that gronks are paying for things is important for the function of a supermarket. And so we're not talking about the—

Tommy: so that you cannot— but you are.

Josh: But isn't it, isn't it funny how the guy who does tricky stuff with nuts so he doesn't pay the full amount, or the people eating—

Tommy: no, actually, I actually don't do that. I actually don't do that. I have done it, I have done it, but I definitely— what's the difference between I don't do that. You can't bring the— they're two different things. Is it right to pay, get the cheaper nuts for the more expensive ones? Is it right? No. Is it right— and so what you're saying is that it's wrong to eat a packet of chips and then pay for them on the way out. And I'm saying that is wrong. Like, that's— sorry, that is okay to do. And so you can't You can't blend the two arguments together.

Josh: I think that it's a gateway to it. I think, I think that the people that are just eating stuff and trying to confuse the security, it's like, oh no, you know, you end up with a trolley of fucking half a packet of this and half a packet of that.

Tommy: What's wrong with that if you're going to pay for it all?

Josh: Well, the thing is, all of the way that the self-checkouts work is it's all based on weight. And so all these things are going to be mismatched.

Tommy: Yeah. So there is an issue. If you ate a whole packet of nuts that weighed 500 grammes and then scanned it and you put it into the thing, it says—

Unknown: You have to get the barcode when you weigh it at the thing anyway.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying is though, it is— So you eat it before you scan it. No, the barcode knows how much it weighs and then you put the packet down and then it's like, you need assistance, but you can press skip bagging and you're fine. But you can't skip bag more than like 3 times. It's an interesting one.

Josh: I don't know. I just think it seems potentially, potentially rude.

Tommy: You've got a, you've got a very soft argument when you bring up a whole different, a whole different point into the argument. It'd be great to go from eating a shot to nuts.

Josh: I think we could ask my mum. I think she, because I feel like she's ingrained this. But yes, if there's anyone that's—

Tommy: I don't need to ask your mum. No, because you are your mum. Listen to you. Emily says, JJ obviously hasn't been to the supermarket hungry before.

Josh: I do, and I just get it done quickly. Anyway, if you think I'm right, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Yeah.

Tommy: Or if you think I'm right, we'll probably get some more emails. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com.

Josh: And if you work at a supermarket as well, I'd love to get an official statement. Yeah. Yeah. I just think that it's a stupid argument.

Tommy: And to be clear, the question is, Is it okay to eat your chips or a piece of fruit— sorry, not fruit— if you're going to eat chips or you're going to eat a yoghurt and then pay for it at the end, is it okay to do that?

Josh: The question is not, can you see the whole fruit thing?

Tommy: No, it's a different conversation. That's why I took it out of it, because you have to weigh a banana and you've eaten the weight of the banana. So it's a different Conversation. It's a different conversation. Is it okay to eat some sort of packeted food, some scannable thing while you're in the supermarket if you pay for it at the end?

Josh: Yes or no? It seems a bit unnecessary, but yeah, let's ask on Instagram.

Tommy: Don't blend the arguments.

Josh: Not the same. I just think it is. It's very— I think that is—

Tommy: they're not the same. They're not the same. One's stealing. One's actually stealing nuts. One's stealing grapes.

Josh: Well, one of them is stealing until it's paid. That's the dumbest thing you've said. Alright, it's a daily talk show. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. If you enjoy the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Also, in this time where people have more time up their sleeve, it's a good opportunity to listen to podcasts. So if you know a mate that you think would like the show, I would appreciate it if you sent it on to them. Otherwise, guys, we'll see you tomorrow. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you guys.