Fast Food, Sandwiches And Lists With Lehmo

Lehmo: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 621, and we've got Lemo in the building.

Tommy: Yeah, welcome to the show, Lemo.

Lehmo: Wonderful to be here, guys. Before we go anywhere, I want you to list the 620 guests that you prioritised ahead of me.

Tommy: Ah, far out.

Josh: We've been emailing for a while, but I believe Tommy's been on the email.

Tommy: Our old office was in Easy Street. Your agent is over there.

Lehmo: Yes, correct.

Tommy: So we bumped into you and we're having a chat one morning and young mate Mr. 97 was there.

Josh: It was early. It was early days. Like, I don't know if 97, it would have been.

Tommy: He hadn't hit puberty at that point.

Josh: Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: No, he was a young man, sort of first job. This is his first job.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But he, what happened?

Josh: So, yeah. So we were having a conversation and we're talking about the podcast and all that sort of thing. And you were ordering a sandwich, which is great.

Lehmo: Yeah. It rings true so far.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Yes. And so we had a great conversation. 97 was there. There, we were talking to you, and then as you walked off, 97 said, that guy reminds me so much of Limo.

Lehmo: It's good. It's nice to be a slightly crustier version of yourself. If that guy had a shower and a shave and was 10 years younger, he'd be Limo.

Tommy: How'd you feel about that, Siv?

Josh: Oh yeah, a bit embarrassed.

Tommy: Now say sorry. How close are, like, on the, on the panel for the, the project, how close are you in terms of proximity to the other people next to you? Is it like this, like when you're on there?

Lehmo: It's not quite this close. I guess it's cozy.

Josh: Yeah, it's nice.

Lehmo: I like it. I like to be within hand's reach.

Josh: How's the temperature though of the room? Is it this room specifically?

Lehmo: It's fine.

Josh: Okay. Yeah. Not too hot.

Lehmo: Do I look, do I look a bit hot? Am I sweating?

Josh: No, no, no. I just, I like to make sure we have a cool room. But actually talking temperature in the room, are you a Nando's guy? Do you eat much Nando's?

Lehmo: But before we get to Nando's, cold room is good for comedy, just by the way.

Josh: Yes, that keeps you—

Lehmo: David Letterman famously had a very cold studio and guests were told to never mention it while they were being interviewed.

Tommy: Really?

Lehmo: Because otherwise would get— otherwise everyone would bring it up and it would get boring.

Josh: Well, it's like the number thing, you know, you brought up, uh, the, the episode number. Every single comedian that we've had on the show leads with the number gag.

Lehmo: Yeah, that's because we're all equally insecure and we all—

Josh: and they equally hate when I bring it up as well.

Lehmo: Yeah, we just all want to be loved and we can't work out why others are loved more than us.

Josh: It's just that you got to cheque your email.

Lehmo: It's the classic, like, a comedian will perform to 1,000 people in a room, 999 will lose their shit. And the one person who's not laughing is the person you'll try and hunt down after the gig. And they're the person you'll think about when you go to bed that night. Not the 999 who had the greatest night of their lives.

Tommy: Is that— so you personally, are you hard on yourself as a comedian?

Lehmo: Yeah, absolutely.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: You only ever think about the stuff that doesn't work.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: And rarely is a show ever 100%. So there's always something at the end where someone will go, great show, and you go, yeah, but I bloody stuffed that joke up. They'll say, I didn't notice. Yeah, I did.

Josh: Yeah. Back on the checking the temperature in the room. Yes. Nando's. Do you eat much Nando's? No.

Lehmo: Okay. I'm not a— I'm not much of a fast food kind of guy.

Josh: Really? Fuck, Nando's is fast food to you?

Tommy: That's, that's, that's high dining.

Lehmo: Fine dining. Right in.

Josh: Nando's fast food. That's, that's—

Lehmo: Would you take someone for a date to Nando's?

Josh: Definitely. I take my girlfriend, like, if we're doing something nice, she's like, do you want to do something nice?

Lehmo: Oh, you go to Nando's.

Josh: We go to Nando's, which is a lot better than Uber Eatsing Huckster Burger.

Lehmo: Do you, do you have a favourite Nando's?

Josh: Oh no, that's a really good question.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: So I like— I'm imagining now you've got a book at home where you've reviewed each of the individual Nando's around Melbourne.

Josh: Smith Street is great because it's got— they've got a table number 1, which is this really— like, you sort of get to see outside into the street, but it's like a bench that's curved so you can sit close.

Tommy: It's a perfect—

Josh: perfect date seat. It's a bit obnoxious though because it's designed for probably 5 people to sit there, whereas my girlfriend Bree and I sit there on our own.

Tommy: 7-Eleven Mason went to a Nando's. Sorry, I mix up the nicknames. I call him Sev, 7-Eleven.

Josh: Yeah, 97.

Tommy: Went on a date to Nando's. What was the experience like? Because I mean, Josh and I have been with our partners for quite some time. It's just going for dinner.

Josh: Are you trying to— you want—

Tommy: oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want us to say names?

Lehmo: No, it was takeaway.

Tommy: You got takeaway?

Lehmo: Takeaway? Yeah. On a date?

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: Well, so no, we, we, we were getting something for dinner and so we were going to go to the, like, the drive-in cinemas. So we got a takeaway Nando's and then took it. And you took it to the drive-in?

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Well, that is old school. Where's the drive-in? I didn't know they still existed.

Josh: I have no idea. There's one in Coburg. Yeah. Potentially. I mean, it's relatively close.

Tommy: There's one down in Arthur City. He doesn't even drive. You don't drive.

Lehmo: You rode your bike to— I got driven. You got driven by your date.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: Way to impress on first date. I don't have my license. Can you drive me? Did you get blind then?

Josh: As in drinking? Yeah.

Lehmo: No, I don't drink. Did you get blind as in drinking?

Josh: No.

Lehmo: Did you poke something in your eyes so you'd never see again?

Tommy: What's your go-to date night?

Lehmo: Can I just tell 97 something that's going to blow his mind from back in the day? Yeah. Drive-ins used to be everywhere. And they were as popular as indoor cinemas, right, back in the day, back in my youth. You used to go to the drive-in, you'd wind your window down. Yeah, you heard me, wind. There's a thing you turned like that, right? You wind it and you'd wind it down about that far, and then you would get a speaker that was hanging on a pole. You'd pull it inside your car, it was attached by a cord, and you'd hang it inside your window, and that speaker would be The speaker.

Josh: Would you have two? Would it be surround sound?

Lehmo: You could get one either side. Absolutely.

Tommy: That'd be great.

Lehmo: Provided there wasn't a car there that needed that one. But more often than not, you just have one hanging on your open window. So if it was cold outside, that's a nightmare.

Tommy: Oh, it's the privilege. Nando's in his car, he was eating chocolate. It was coming through the speakers.

Lehmo: Being driven by his first date.

Tommy: It's a modern day, man.

Josh: Do they tune in? Because I've never been. I want to go.

Tommy: Yeah, you put a tune-in mount in. Yeah.

Josh: Well, that's cool.

Tommy: Welcome to the future, mate.

Lehmo: Yeah, that's great.

Josh: And so date night, where would you go for a date?

Lehmo: I'm trying to think where. So I've been with my wife for 10 years now.

Josh: So you don't date?

Lehmo: So we don't date anymore. We went out to dinner in Chinatown. That was our last date together. Like a date day. So we'll either do the movies or a restaurant somewhere. Probably not Nando's.

Josh: No, I get it.

Tommy: What about date nights? Barefoot Investor's got his book. He's, you know, so many people around Australia are doing date nights. Did you get it? Oh, you're an ex-accountant.

Lehmo: Yes.

Tommy: Sounds like an ex-crime or something.

Josh: Are you ever an ex-accountant or are you always an accountant? Is like a presidency?

Lehmo: I am definitely not an accountant now.

Josh: So you can't look at our books?

Lehmo: I am no good to you right now. I have an accountant.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Lehmo: So I'm so hopeless.

Josh: Are you happy with your accountant?

Lehmo: He's great. Yes, he's very good. I went to boarding school with him.

Josh: Oh, that's handy.

Lehmo: So him and his brother, I went to boarding school with both of them and they were two of my best mates at boarding school. We studied accounting together and then stayed really good mates.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Lehmo: So I feel like I can trust them.

Josh: Does he get entertainment? Did he get all the bits? And like, I feel like there's more shit that you can claim.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's across it.

Josh: He gets it.

Lehmo: He's qualified.

Josh: Oh, great.

Lehmo: He gets the rules. He's got a copy of the Income Tax Assessment Act.

Josh: Oh, great.

Tommy: I find—

Lehmo: Works his way through it.

Tommy: People who have been accountants or in the finance game have a certain mind. Like, I've got a friend who creates content and he's an ex-finance guy, but he goes about it in this sort of very sort of—

Josh: it's like a profit and loss kind of way.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, you tend to be a bit more clinical.

Tommy: Are you like that with your comedy, with your career?

Lehmo: I am like that with my— I'm a real list guy. I need lists. I'm always writing lists, and if I don't have a list, I get anxious. So every gig I've ever done, I've handwritten my set list down. When I'm on holidays— and this infuriates my wife— I need at the start of the day a list of things that are happening that day, or I just feel anxious through the day. Even if the list— even if all it says is breakfast, lay on beach, go to bed. That's— I go, right, that's it. I know that after breakfast the only thing I have to worry about is lying on the beach until dinner time. But if there's no list, I'll be lying on the beach in the morning going, well, what's happening next?

Josh: Yeah. So do you write the list or does she write the list?

Lehmo: I tend to write the list because she's good at lists.

Josh: So you would say, okay, what's on today?

Lehmo: Yeah. So I'd say to her, what are we doing today? She'll say, well, I want to do A, B, and C. I say, okay, great. We can fit that in here, here, and here. You happy with that?

Josh: Do you write her a list and you a list, or is it a combined list?

Lehmo: It tends to be a joint list when we're on holidays.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: But I have to— so I'll consult with her. I'll make the list. And then we follow the list.

Josh: To the letter!

Tommy: You've got kids? You've got one kid.

Lehmo: He's 3.

Tommy: Okay. Yeah, same. When was his birthday?

Lehmo: He, he, June 26th. Oh no, sorry, July 26th.

Tommy: So what about kids? Like, that throws a spanner into the works for your list, mate. Lying on beach. Yeah, bullshit.

Lehmo: Yeah, they do become the focus of your holiday. Yeah, well, we went to Fiji recently, so kids club was very handy.

Tommy: Oh, you got stuck in the—

Lehmo: we're in a cyclone.

Tommy: Yeah, I saw the photos. You're boarding up the—

Lehmo: they were boarding up the I boarded up our windows.

Tommy: How'd that go on the list? Did you have that?

Josh: Board up windows?

Lehmo: Well, Cyclone kind of killed the list. It was so get up, have breakfast, sit in room for 9 hours, have dinner.

Josh: Bit of a doomsday prep list. Yeah. Are you someone that— are you a doomsday kind of guy? Like, do you think that you were talking about Trump before? I feel like people who like talking about Trump potentially have a doomsday look.

Lehmo: A sick part of me is excited about Trump's downside. I don't know. I just feel, you know, you always want— of me anyway, I always want adventure and something crazy happening, even if it's not the best scenario.

Josh: That's what I love about North Korea. It's like, what's Kim Jong-un about to do?

Lehmo: What's going to happen next? You know, when you watch a car race, yeah, what do you want?

Josh: The car accident.

Lehmo: Yeah, you want an accident, but you know, but you can't say that. I don't want to risk— I don't want to drive it to risk his life, but gee, I want to see an accident.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lehmo: Okay, so you're stuck in that middle I want to see what Trump's potential is because he'll win this next election, then he'll be president for 4 more years and he's going to do some batshit crazy stuff. He's going to do— he's going to be off the chain. It's going to be mental what he's going to be doing.

Josh: He'll—

Lehmo: he will install one son as the head of all the intelligence agencies. He'll install his other son as the head of the military. His daughter will be the secretary of state. And he'll, you know, there's the young, the little one.

Tommy: Oh yeah.

Lehmo: Barron.

Tommy: Yeah. Right. The one that fell asleep standing up.

Lehmo: That guy, you know, he'll be the youngest ever, youngest ever vice president or something. It'll just be family. It'll be a family business like Trump has been forever. He'll write Trump on the White House. It'll be the Trump House, not the White House. Yeah. And it's just going to be mad shit and he'll level government buildings and put in more golf courses. It's just like, fuck, I can't wait.

Tommy: I mean, you've— I feel like you've been into the politics, the US politics in terms of when he started and what everyone thought he was going to do versus now. Yeah. What is the sort of—

Lehmo: it's much worse. It's much worse. People thought it would be vague incompetence and they were worried that it would be vague incompetence where it's just being planned treachery. I would say. So he's— anyone who disagrees with him, he sacks. Whereas Abraham Lincoln famously employed people from both sides of politics who he employed them because they would disagree with him, and he felt that would help him make the best decisions.

Josh: There's something very powerful about, uh, quoting or mentioning Abraham. Yeah, yeah. Is that something like— is that a— because I sort of make an effort where I'm like, I got a book on, um, Alexander Hamilton. Oh yes, yeah, it's a big fucking book. I'm never going to have time to read it, but there is that sense Have you actively tried to learn things about him, or how— where did that come from?

Lehmo: That's the only thing I know about Abraham Lincoln.

Josh: And you managed to mention it. That's good.

Lehmo: But that is quite a famous, uh, fact about Abraham Lincoln, so you don't have to be a student of him to—

Josh: Sure.

Lehmo: To know that. You would. And because Barack Obama tried to replicate that when he was first, uh, elected president. Where— but Trump's the opposite. He wants everyone who agrees with him, and if you disagree, then you're getting sacked. And even in recent times, if you disagree and you've got a family member in the White House, I'm not only going to sack you, I'm going to sack your brother. Yeah, he's just getting at everyone who disagrees. And then once you're surrounded by people who agree, life's just so much sweeter.

Tommy: So how did he get away with— how did he get through the impeachment without being convicted or whatever they— you—

Lehmo: well, it was impeached.

Tommy: Yeah, well, he was impeached.

Josh: He was impeached. That's right, he was impeached.

Lehmo: So it's kind of like impeached is being arrested. And then the trial is the trial, like you would have a trial in front of a judge, but instead of a judge, it's the Senate. So he got impeached by the House, and the Senate is majority Republican, so they were never gonna— it's now— it's only 3 times before a president's been impeached. Andrew Johnson, and that was stopped by the Senate. Bill Clinton was stopped by the Senate. And this— he was stopped by the Senate. And Richard Nixon would have been convicted by the Senate. As soon as he realised that, he just quit. Yeah, so instead of being dragged out kicking and screaming, he went, I'm good, I'm out.

Josh: Do you read a lot of news?

Lehmo: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Josh: What do you read? What's it like? Do you use phone apps or what's the—

Lehmo: I use— I'm on this thing called Flipboard at the moment.

Josh: Oh yeah, Flipboard. Fuck, I haven't heard anyone mention Flipboard in a long time. That was a big thing when the iPad first came out. Oh yeah, right, but it's still a thing.

Lehmo: It's still— it's still— I don't know, I feel old when you mention the iPad. Yeah, the guy that mentions the drive-in cinema and the Speaker and flipboard.

Josh: Yeah, because it's like, um, it's like an old-school Pinterest, or like, it's just like, it's like, oh, create your own magazine of news, right?

Lehmo: Yeah, so you just click on your favourite topics, your favourite websites or whatever, and then it just compiles news, or compiles news relevant for you.

Josh: That's good.

Lehmo: And then it works out what you click on more than everything else.

Josh: So it's the echo— it's a classic echo chamber.

Lehmo: It tells me exactly what I want to hear.

Josh: Yeah, perfect.

Tommy: So you haven't got the Abraham Lincoln approach, sort of like some shit you don't agree with?

Lehmo: But I do say, but I love reading mental Trump stuff, which is often on Fox News. And Fox News, I fucking can't stand it, but I watch all the time.

Josh: I watch Bombshell. Have you watched that film?

Lehmo: I haven't.

Josh: It's fucking great.

Lehmo: But I watched the TV series.

Josh: Was it a TV series?

Lehmo: No, the— with, um, it's the same story. Oh yeah, but it was on Stan.

Josh: Oh, that's good. And it was called, uh, The Loudest Voice.

Lehmo: The Loudest Voice.

Tommy: That's why we got him here.

Lehmo: That was very good with Russell Crowe. But what I've heard is it's very hard to watch Bombshell. Who plays Roger Ailes?

Josh: I don't know any actors. No, Sevs will be able to tell us. From Bombshell.

Lehmo: It's very hard to watch him if you've seen Russell Crowe play the same character.

Josh: Oh really?

Lehmo: Because Russell Crowe is so good.

Josh: Because Russell Crowe, was that the one where he puts on heaps of weight?

Lehmo: Yes.

Josh: Oh fuck. So is that a TV series?

Lehmo: That's a TV series.

Josh: Oh great.

Lehmo: Yeah, it's really good.

Josh: Well, the guy who is in Morning— what's that?

Lehmo: What was the—

Josh: Morning Wars. Morning Wars. The executive producer that was in Morning Wars. Is in this bombshell thing. And so it's confusing, especially when they're similar topics. It's very confusing when you have different characters playing different shit.

Lehmo: Okay. Is he being typecast? Is that the only role he's been in?

Josh: Because he was playing a different— he wasn't in— if he played the role of a morning show executive producer, I'd respect that. But he was playing the partner.

Tommy: Okay. How do you make sense of what, what is real? I guess what's the truth? Because you listen to the ABC. I think they created a podcast around Trump and the impeachment or the look into Russia. Russia, Russia, if you're listening. Yeah, I loved it.

Lehmo: Which is great.

Tommy: I mean, you're convinced he's just the biggest monster on earth and he's actually going to get caught and go to jail. Yeah, it seems like the way they lay it out, but then nothing happens. And so how do you make sense of what is real, what's not, what's really going to happen?

Lehmo: I used to listen to a lot of MSNBC. So Rachel Maddow, I would listen to a lot, her podcast and Anderson Cooper from CNN.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: But then if you listen to it every day, you would think over the last 4 years you go, oh, well, Trump's presidency is about to end. Any day now listening to that podcast.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lehmo: But then you realise that it's really skewed.

Josh: It's like Michael Moore. Michael Moore is full on like that, but he's like, he leans into the hyperbolic nature, which is just like, like, yeah, you know, Trump is, Trump is done. This is definitely going to be the end of Trump.

Lehmo: And then it doesn't happen. And it's like people, you know, climate, where people say, oh, don't buy a house on the coast. I remember 15 years ago What's his name? Flannery, who was the Australian of the Year, saying don't buy a house on the coast because it'll be flooded in 2020. And then you get here and you think, well, what is the truth?

Josh: Yeah, 2021, it's fine.

Lehmo: I'd buy a house on the coast. I'd love— if I could afford it.

Josh: I wonder if the—

Lehmo: I love the house on the coast.

Josh: Is the real estate prices gone down? If it's on a cliff, do we know that?

Tommy: It's not— it's not at Fort Clues or Sydney or even Albert Park. They've been saying that about Albert Park.

Lehmo: Really?

Tommy: The water's going to come in because it's on swampland. So it's like almost lower than sea level, something like that.

Lehmo: So I feel like you've got— who do you believe? I don't know. And then the media is so, you know, can you believe a word Murdoch says? The Murdoch press?

Josh: I didn't even know about— like, I'm pretty dumb. I knew nothing about, like, from the news perspective. I didn't know that there was like left-leaning and right. Like, it's only in the last like 3 years. Oh yeah, it's crazy.

Lehmo: And the ABC is actually very balanced. I know I work there from time to time, but it really is.

Josh: Yeah, they provide—

Lehmo: they they go to so many lengths to provide both points of view.

Josh: Do you think that most people would say that that is, when it's balanced, do most people say that's actually left-leaning? Is that what ends up happening?

Lehmo: Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Because the people out on the right are a lot of the time kind of crazy. Yeah.

Josh: But because I was thinking the other day around like the, the super— so you got the super, like the far right and then you've got the far left.

Tommy: Yes.

Lehmo: They're as crazy as each other.

Josh: Well, yeah, because that's what I didn't realise. But like you start seeing the like at the start it's like, oh, you know, we've got to be, um, open-minded and all that sort of thing. And then, but then you see what can happen where people are just like, like, no, like getting like anger, I guess, on both sides where it's like, no, we just need to be angry right now, is potentially—

Lehmo: yeah, they would, you know, they'll Google, they'll search keywords on Twitter and find places to be angry. Yeah, it's like, you know, on Reddit, on commercial radio, if ever you mentioned Jesus, the switchboard would light up straight away regardless of the context.

Tommy: Really?

Lehmo: We could just on it, on solo, just go Jesus, and then people start phoning.

Tommy: We had people call in. I used to work in Shepparton on radio. They told us we're going to pull back on saying Jesus. And it was obviously I was doing a passage each morning when we opened. It was just Jesus.

Lehmo: Oh wow. So you couldn't say grace because before breakfast anymore.

Tommy: It was bullshit. So I went to the Judaism Bible and that was okay. Baruch Atah Adonai.

Josh: That's very good.

Lehmo: That sounds good.

Tommy: Went to 3 bar mitzvahs. That's how I know.

Lehmo: Here's a fun exercise for you. Is it fun? I don't know. It's fun for me. Get a right-wing columnist, okay? And every time they use the word left in the column, replace it with right. Because they often write about themselves without realising it.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: So what you'll get is, let's say it's an Andrew Bolt, for example, he'll say, ah, the insane left only care about themselves and their crazy agenda. They're screaming into an echo chamber, not realising they don't represent the views of all Australians. And it's just that's exactly what he is.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: But that's what he writes about the left.

Josh: Have you thought from the standpoint of being a comedian talking about politics, what have you learned? Because I guess there's probably a bunch of people that say, fucking lame-o, you lost me. You fucking lost me. You're losing me.

Tommy: You're far left, lame-o.

Josh: And you're fucking losing me right now.

Lehmo: I don't talk about politics on stage or on radio. Just on this podcast. Just on this podcast. You shouldn't have got me started because it's all, it's all in there. In there ready to come out.

Tommy: What is it?

Lehmo: But I don't talk because I think in breakfast radio people don't want to hear about politics driving to work in the morning. Yeah, I don't think they just want to laugh and have fun and turn their mind off of shit, and they don't want to be told what to think by some fuckhead like me, right? Uh, and on stage I, I don't feel as though I'm smart enough to be able to really deliver on sharp political pieces. I'd rather just talk about My wife and my dog and my son. And the fact that I'm getting old. And Nando's.

Tommy: Is it fast food?

Lehmo: Fast food or a delicate treat?

Josh: Are you a healthy guy, do you think?

Lehmo: No.

Josh: Really? No. But you have something to eat, but you're like, I feel like people don't say fast food. Fast food sounds like something you heard in the '90s.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, I'm showing my age. You know, but see, I, because I'm getting older and it's harder to lose weight, I just can't afford to be eating that type of food. It makes me— do you— have you ever measured how quickly food makes you sad?

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: All right, so you think about— and I'm talking about when you eat something, okay, how quickly does that item of food make you sad? Now for me, the fastest path to sadness is a donut. Yeah, I won't even be finished a doughnut and it'll all already have made me sad about the fact that I'm eating it.

Josh: Yeah, literally, like my Uber Eats person being late, I'm already sad about, like, before it's even arrived. I'm like, I don't fucking want— it's gonna be shit, it's gonna be soggy, it's gonna be—

Lehmo: there you go. So if I'm eating Nando's or Macca's or whatever, Hungry Jack's, and I'm smashing one of those burgers, I'll love it initially and I'll probably love it until I finish it, and then— but I'll be sad within 2 or 3 minutes.

Josh: Any happy foods that you have that make you happy?

Lehmo: Oh yeah, steak. Oh yeah, steak makes me happy. That puts a big smile on my face and I stay happy afterwards.

Josh: What about salad?

Tommy: Is that what—

Lehmo: yeah, I like— yeah, I like a salad these days. So a salad will make me happy. Steak and salad. I'm very— steak and 3 veg, really, that reminds— that takes me back to my childhood. So that puts me not only in a nutritious good place, but, and you know, an emotional steak.

Tommy: How many glasses of wine have you had at that point?

Lehmo: Is it the wine that's making you happy? I went to the doctor recently because I'm over 50 now, right? I went to the doctor recently and he said—

Josh: it's when you start going to the doctor—

Lehmo: yeah, yeah, 50. How many, uh, standard drinks do you have a week?

Josh: Right.

Lehmo: And I said, how many standard drinks in a bottle of wine? He said 8. I said, well, 56. And he said, that's too many, you can't have 56 standard drinks a week. And I said, what's the limit? He said, it's 10. I said, 10 a week? He said, yes, 10. Anyway, I went home and told my wife and she cracked it at me and she said, you meant to lie when you asked me. And I said to her, I fucking did. I didn't include any beer at all. I only included wine. So I need to cut back on drinking. So that's unhealthy.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: And when I So last night, for example, I went out for a friend's birthday dinner at the pub. So my wife and my son and I had kangaroo and some red wine with some veggies. So that food made me happy.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Had some red wine. All good. Got home and I'd had a couple and I went, oh, I might go get a bottle of red at the bottle-o. And we live so close to a bottle-o, like 30 meters.

Tommy: Really?

Lehmo: Which is dangerous.

Josh: I'm actually above Dan Murphy's. Yeah, right.

Tommy: You're close up.

Josh: Like, I'm close.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: But they still fuck the timing. Of when it's open. Anyway, that would be—

Lehmo: yeah, that would be the end of me. Yeah, but anyway, I'm 30 meters, so I go and get a bottle of Pinot, come home.

Josh: What sort of price, by the way?

Lehmo: Yeah, that's how I— that's how I shop for wine because I don't have a—

Josh: I don't know, like $28.

Lehmo: I normally go between $20 and $30, and that's where I feel like I'm getting a decent Pinot without breaking the bank.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lehmo: So I get a bottle of Pinot, and I tend to go I'll either go Yarra Valley or coastal. I'll go South Australia or Victoria.

Josh: Okay.

Lehmo: For my wines anyway. And then I had a big packet of Fruit Chocs, which is a South Australian bit of confectionery that I love because I've just been in Adelaide. Um, and then I sat down in front of the television. My wife went to bed, my son went to bed, and I drank red wine and ate chocolate until I felt sick.

Tommy: At what point did you get sad?

Lehmo: I got sad when I started when I realised how much chocolate I'd eaten. I went, oh, I need to go to bed. And then I was a bit sad when I woke up this morning and I felt bloated.

Josh: Was that last night?

Lehmo: That was last night, yeah.

Josh: Oh great.

Lehmo: Yeah, so I was watching, uh, I watched, uh, The Circus, which is a show on Stan about— that follows the US, uh, just follows US politics, and they release a different episode each week.

Tommy: At what point are you working, you know, like at what point are you setting in time, setting aside time to write or to— or is that part of it?

Josh: Was it on the list? Was all this on your list?

Lehmo: Yeah, I didn't really have a list yesterday. That was one of my problems.

Josh: Do you have to put when you're going to be sad on the list?

Lehmo: That just occurs naturally. I just wait for that to happen. So I had a mole removed yesterday, which is why I've got this.

Josh: Yeah, you can hardly tell. Yeah, thing there.

Lehmo: Uh, so that was part of my day yesterday.

Josh: Did they tell you you had to get it done? Like, is it—

Tommy: did they say—

Lehmo: he actually upsold me. So I went to see him for a mole cheque and I had a full body mole cheque and he said, yeah, you're all good. And he pointed at this and he goes, you ever thought of getting that removed? And I said, to be honest, I have thought about it a few times. And he said— and the doctor, his actual line was, he said, well, it's not paying any rent, it's giving you no return on your investment. You always get rid of a bad tenant. And he said, and he said, it's really easy, it'll take 20 minutes.

Josh: You talk about price, because I went to a doctor with my ingrown toenail and I felt so— He fucked it, by the way, but that's another story. But he was like, okay, $550 it's going to cost. I'm thinking, okay, that's an iPad, whatever. And then he said, but it's going to happen to the other side. So if you do the other side, I can do that for half the price. And I was sort of like, I don't like this idea that this guy is talking to me that's meant to be a medical professional.

Tommy: Buy one, get one half price. Yeah.

Josh: And so was there a bit of, but like, was there a conversation on Price? He said Contra, an Insta story.

Lehmo: I was taking photos.

Josh: This could be your credit line.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, swipe up to find Limo's surgeon.

Lehmo: I was taking photos through the process because I was going to do a story, and I forgot the punchline though because last night I went to a mate's birthday at the pub and I wanted to take a photo of everyone there and say it was the Moles farewell party, but I forgot to take the photo.

Tommy: You're thinking about getting that bottle of Pinot later.

Lehmo: I was thinking about getting sad later on. So I— so yeah, he upsold me to get it removed, but the price I discussed with the receptionist.

Josh: Okay. After it or before?

Lehmo: No, after. He said, he said, if you want to do it, make this type of appointment with the receptionist. She'll give you the price. It's up to you.

Josh: Oh, great.

Lehmo: I said, sure.

Josh: And did it happen all straight away? So you went to the receptionist?

Lehmo: I went out, made an appointment for 2 weeks' time. And that 2 weeks' time was yesterday.

Tommy: What did you pay?

Lehmo: I think it was like $400 or something.

Josh: It's an iPad.

Tommy: It's an iPad.

Josh: Yeah, you could definitely go— at least to be able to play your flipbook, you could go the original iPad. I'm sure it would still work.

Lehmo: My flipboard.

Josh: Flipboard, sorry.

Lehmo: Have you noticed that old people take photos with iPads? That's an indicator that someone's old.

Tommy: No, I grabbed the phone on the weekend at a 40th and I said, fucking, my mum's phone's here, and it was all in large text. Yeah, yeah, you get basically, hi there, and the That's it. That's all you can see on screen.

Lehmo: I'm nearly at that stage.

Tommy: Do you wear glasses?

Lehmo: Yeah, I do have reading glasses over there. You take them with you everywhere. So reading glasses and Quick Ease are the two additions.

Josh: Is it Quick Ease for heartburn?

Lehmo: Heartburn, indigestion.

Josh: And so, I mean, that could make you sad as well. Yes. Is the food connected to the heartburn, which is connected to the sadness?

Lehmo: Yes. Pretty strong. Sadness has become a real thing, hasn't it?

Josh: Podcasting, this is what normally, you know, by the end of it you're sort of opening up and talking about your sad shit.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all connected. Yes, 100%.

Josh: And so would you take an— is it called a Quick Ease? Quick Ease. Do you take the Quick Ease before you get the heartburn or when it started?

Lehmo: When it— once it started. So once you feel— I don't know if that's the right way to do it.

Josh: And what food? Is it acidic? Like a Pinot would do it?

Lehmo: I feel like— I feel like it's just having too much. Too much of anything.

Josh: Did you take one last night?

Lehmo: No, no, I didn't have any heartburn last night.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Lehmo: I just had sadness. I had the sadness without the burn last night. I had— years ago I had stomach ulcers, which I guess were— go through my medical history. No, I had these stomach ulcers, so I was Um, I'll tell you the story. So my poo, right, this is before I knew I had stomach ulcers, was jet black, right? So I do the Sunday Project one night, and Andrew Rochford, who was the resident doctor on the project, we do it, finish a Sunday episode, and I see him afterwards and he goes, hey, gun mate, you're right, you look a bit pale. And I said, actually, doc, I've been feeling shit ass. I said, really lightheaded every time I stood up. I felt like I was going to faint, right? And that this has been going on for about a month. It was really low on energy.

Josh: Sad.

Lehmo: And, uh, I said, oh, my poo is jet black. And he stops straight away in his tracks and he said, I would send you to emergency right now if you were my patient.

Tommy: Wow.

Lehmo: He said, give me— I'm a TV doctor, so I don't have any idea.

Tommy: He's in the makeup chair.

Lehmo: So he said, you should go to emergency now. He said, if you have to wait till the morning, then wait till the morning, but you need to go to a doctor ASAP. So I had these ulcers and I was bleeding internally, which is why my poo was black. And I was feeling faint because my blood count was really low because I was bleeding so much.

Josh: Right.

Lehmo: Anyway, I didn't know any of this. Nearly needed a blood transfusion but didn't quite. And then I went in. But this is because I was getting bad indigestion at the time. But then I had this operation. And they gave me this medication. I didn't get indigestion for 5 years after that. It's like this miracle cure. And I was like, that's fucking awesome. Anyway, it started to come back again.

Josh: Oh no.

Lehmo: So I'm checking the colour of my toilet.

Josh: Yeah, what do you think?

Tommy: What are we at? Let's cheque the colour in the room.

Lehmo: I've got like a British Paints colour chart.

Tommy: Matching your jewels.

Lehmo: Just hold it up next to the—

Josh: Well, I think licorice would probably make you shit, but like there's a few other things that it could have been. And also licorice apparently raises your blood pressure, which is a fun fact. Are you a licorice guy? Are you an olives guy? Do you eat olives?

Lehmo: Uh, yeah, I'll have an olive from time to time. Uh, yeah, I don't mind a pickle.

Josh: Yeah. Would you have a jar of gherkins at home?

Lehmo: Uh, there possibly are a jar of gherkins at home, but I wouldn't have them by themselves.

Josh: Sure. Cheese or what?

Lehmo: Pickle in a sandwich.

Josh: Oh yeah, well, you're a sandwich guy.

Tommy: That's how we all— that's how you met young Hosno's sandwich.

Lehmo: I'm a Sandwich guy. I'm not a fast food guy.

Josh: You're a sandwich guy.

Lehmo: I'm a sandwich guy.

Tommy: It came pretty fast, that sandwich. Is that fast food?

Josh: Well, I've gotten into Subway, which I know is like, by the way, the Pit sandwich potentially.

Lehmo: But there they have sandwich artists.

Josh: Yeah, but they don't care. That's the one thing. Like, and the other thing too is—

Tommy: but maybe that's hip art.

Josh: Artists that don't give a shit. But the thing is that like normally if I think that they're probably— I don't think any sandwich artist cares. Like, if Subway, not Subway, they all don't care. But the thing with Subway is they're in front of you when they're making it, right?

Lehmo: Yeah.

Josh: When your sandwich is getting made, they can sort of be out back crying, making a sandwich, and you don't see. But you see, like, the lady the other day overcooked my eggs. So what happened was I— risky, I don't normally do meat at Subway, just never do, because they've got the drawn-on lines already from—

Lehmo: Do they just have seafood at Subway?

Josh: Yeah, they do the tuna using an ice cream scoop. No, don't use an ice cream scoop for anything outside of ice cream.

Lehmo: Or don't go to Subway for your sandwiches.

Josh: No, but I've worked out the ingredients that are okay at Subway. But the, um, yeah, the egg the other day, uh, I had one sandwich artist and then it changed sandwich artists halfway through, right? Which can sometimes happen.

Lehmo: So you've got one sandwich made by two artists?

Josh: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's, uh, um, worth more, of course. But no, so the first sandwich artist put the eggs on for like 2 minutes because they basically, they're made and they just put it on for 30 seconds and give it a zap. Efficiency, fast food, you know how it is. But then the second person that took over didn't realise that the eggs had already been cooked. And so, they did it for another 30 seconds. I was sort of like at the time, I'm like, do I mention anything? I'm like, you know what? It's going to get rid of bacteria. So, I'm happy for it.

Lehmo: But it's your sandwich. You should be free to yell out.

Josh: I didn't say anything. Then the lady grabs the eggs with her gloves. And because the eggs are so hot, because they're double the temperature than what they're meant to be.

Lehmo: Yeah. She's like, fuck.

Josh: And the gloves sort of, because it's a very thin plastic, almost like a plastic that you'd get at like a Mister Donuts, you know, like they're sticking to her hands. And I was just like, and part of me in that moment, I was like, wanted to say, hey, I'm right here. Like, you don't, you don't have to sort of create a fuss in front of the customers. I was like, she just burned her hand.

Lehmo: So do you pay at the start or at the end? At the end.

Josh: At the end.

Lehmo: I see. You could have walked away.

Josh: I could have walked away, but I wanted— you see the development of the sandwich through the whole thing.

Lehmo: Oh, so you become attached to it.

Josh: Clearly, this is a child.

Tommy: You're adopting.

Lehmo: I've known it since it was this big.

Josh: Yeah, but no, Subway's definitely fast food. I can't believe you're getting egg on your Subway. Yeah, it was a breakfast one.

Tommy: It's monstrous.

Lehmo: Yeah.

Josh: All right.

Lehmo: And so where would you— so Nando's is your pick though, of the—

Josh: Yeah, Nando's. Yeah, definitely. Because you can actually— TJ and I want to actually do a bit of an experiment where I do Nando's for 30 days.

Tommy: Nothing but Nando's?

Josh: Yeah, because they're a client and so we do some video stuff with them. And so we—

Lehmo: Oh my God, I said it.

Josh: This is a Nando's integration.

Lehmo: Sponsored by Nando's?

Josh: It's not.

Tommy: It's not.

Josh: It's not. But because we're just a podcast, they don't give us any money. But I'm hoping that we can like package this up and be like, look, we had like comedies, Comedy's Limo talking about Nando's for 5 minutes. Can Josh get Nando's for 30 days? I reckon I could lean as fuck if I just had like the tenderloins.

Lehmo: Yeah.

Josh: And now don't start being defamatory to Nando's to ruin our whole— It'll be good either way.

Lehmo: The problem is that, have you seen The McDonald's movie? Yeah, Super Size Me.

Josh: Yeah, Morgan Spurlock.

Lehmo: Morgan Spurlock. And that doesn't reflect well on McDonald's.

Tommy: Well, they did. Yeah, because he's eating McDonald's.

Josh: And he also, every time they say—

Lehmo: I want to eat some Nando's.

Josh: Yeah, it's fucking gross.

Lehmo: Seriously, can you get fruit at Nando's?

Josh: Fruit? I guess we've said fruit's never your problem.

Tommy: But fruit isn't your problem.

Josh: Look, who's serious?

Tommy: That's lame-o.

Josh: He's talking to us.

Tommy: Just listening.

Lehmo: Well, oh, that is my—

Tommy: how do you turn—

Lehmo: I don't know, see, I'm old, I don't know how to turn Siri off. That's a new phone. That happened to me on radio.

Tommy: It's come up again.

Lehmo: I was on radio and I started—

Josh: mute your phone, you just have it muted.

Lehmo: I did have— it is muted.

Josh: That's—

Lehmo: Siri still talks.

Josh: I don't believe it's muted. Can we, can we have a look? Yeah, it's definitely not muted.

Lehmo: Siri still talks though.

Josh: Well, I had—

Lehmo: she definitely had it muted on radio and it went off.

Josh: This is just a podcast where you talk about being sad, so I'm happy to leave it on. The worst is, so if I'm listening back back to this podcast.

Tommy: Hey Siri, my phone is— but it's through my, um, it's through CarPlay. And then what it does is whenever it's interrupted, it jumps back 10 seconds. And so it's this forever loop of, oh, hey Siri, and then it jumps back.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to worry about that shit with Flipboard, you know.

Lehmo: So let's— I'll reveal something about myself here. I'll get Now, say it again. I didn't get that. Could you try again?

Josh: Your closest Nando.

Lehmo: Hey, it started saying the CarPlay thing that you were talking about. Yeah, yeah. Um, so I'll go to Flipboard.

Josh: It's like Face ID, by the way.

Lehmo: Yeah, however, again, sign I'm getting old, only just got this phone. Uh, for the first week I'm looking at my phone, I'm going, I can't bloody lock it, it just keeps unlocking. I don't know what the problem is. So every time I looked at it, unlock. But I'm looking going, why won't it look?

Josh: That's very annoying. That's great.

Lehmo: So if we go to Flipboard, so this reveals what I look at most.

Josh: Yeah, great. It's a little Flipboard review.

Lehmo: It's a— yeah, it's a Flipboard reveal. So we'll update. Uh, elderly Trump voters suggest making him president for life.

Josh: That's very—

Lehmo: uh, so that's off the website Raw Story.

Josh: There you go. So the interesting thing about Flipboard, because these curation— Google's gotten in a bit of trouble with this because they essentially, they're curating news. Yes. But how are the news companies actually surviving? Like, because are they presenting— are they then sending you to New York Times or wherever it is?

Lehmo: Yes, they are.

Josh: Okay.

Lehmo: So that story—

Josh: so do you need to pay— what, do you pay a New York Times subscription?

Lehmo: Are you that— no, I don't. If I go to New York Times and I have to put in your username, put in a username, I just forget about and go back to another story. Yeah, because I can't be bothered paying the New York Times. I pay too many people too much shit.

Josh: What subscriptions do you have?

Lehmo: You love— fucking hell, just Stan, Netflix, uh, news.com, Foxtel.

Josh: Can you pay for news.com? Don't you?

Tommy: He's worked out how. He's a hacker.

Lehmo: Herald Sun's— oh, there's a paywall. I have all on Harry Sun.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: And that also gives you Supercoach and I get papers delivered with that as well.

Tommy: Really? Yeah. What else? What other purchases? What do you spend your money on? Other than nappies and Pinot?

Lehmo: Yeah, nappies. Pinot, my biggest expenditure. Not much. I mean, just stuff for the kid, really. Yeah, that's about it. I spend very little money. I have a lot of t-shirts.

Josh: Do you like cars?

Lehmo: That's my biggest expenditure. No, I like old Cro Medicine Show. What's that?

Josh: Band? It's about an American band. But you don't like cars? Don't give a fuck about this Holden stuff?

Tommy: I don't care.

Lehmo: I don't really care about the Holden thing. Like, to lose an Australian icon, I think that could have been anything.

Josh: Like, you could be talking about fucking a singer, like an icon. Like, we lost—

Tommy: like, it will—

Josh: I was going to mention a singer's name, but I'm like, I don't want to like imply that someone's dead that's not.

Lehmo: Are you saying John Farnham's dead? Are you suggesting that?

Josh: That's so funny. That's where I went. Um, do you go to many concerts? Are you a music guy?

Lehmo: Not really, to be honest. I go to— I'd probably go to 1 or 2 a year, I reckon, and that'd be it. I used to go a lot.

Josh: The radio. I mean, when I was, when I was young, but also radio stations, like I have, because I used to work in digital content at Fox back in 2012 and I used to get free tickets to everything. Yeah, but now I've got to like— it's painful to then buy tickets for shit when you used to.

Lehmo: Yeah, it is annoying and I hate paying for tickets. So I recently, I bought my wife tickets to go and see RuPaul's Drag Race. Oh yeah, at the Palais. She loves RuPaul's Drag Race. Uh, that was great. We're going to see Annie DeFranco for my wife's birthday. That's in April. And, uh, we saw Elton John.

Josh: Oh, that's a lot of things last year.

Lehmo: So yeah, and I go and see Mick Thomas at least once a year from the band Weddings Parties Anything. Great pub rock Aussie dude.

Tommy: Yeah, when you, I mean, you move from accounting or you leave that, which is a clear path to making money into comedy.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: What's it like when you first actually start making money as a comedian? Is it, this is fucking actually working?

Lehmo: It's a fucking relief. It's such a relief.

Josh: Do you remember your first bit of cash you made?

Lehmo: Uh, uh, not really. Like, the first time I got paid for a gig, I can't really remember it, but I remember my first job that paid me properly and just being relieved because I was in heaps of debt.

Josh: What was the debt from? What were you—

Lehmo: Well, I quit my job as an accountant and I was so bad at it that I was about $20 grand in debt when I quit the job.

Josh: What's a bad accountant?

Tommy: $20 grand in debt.

Lehmo: So I wasn't handling my personal finances very well. So I was in debt and I quit my job. And my first 12 months as a comedian, I was 32 years old and I was just sleeping on friends' couches and I earned, I think, $12,000 that year. And I was $20 grand in debt, so it wasn't a great year.

Josh: What was the interest rate on the debt, do you remember?

Lehmo: Ah, I can't remember, but it wasn't one thing, it was like, it was 2 credit cards, a personal loan. Bloody, you know, American Express, Telstra. It was like a whole bunch of things that all added up.

Josh: I've got to pay my Telstra bill, by the way.

Tommy: Yeah, can you remind me?

Lehmo: Someone remind me.

Josh: I always feel like they don't fucking notify you. I'm always notified the second time when they're like, you owe us money.

Tommy: Yeah, right. Yeah. And then you've got trust problems with them, so you won't let them direct debit.

Lehmo: I don't like them. Exactly.

Josh: I like to just— I want to pay.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: So then I And then this kind of went on for a couple of years and then I got a job in breakfast radio. So I was able to sort of start to solve those money problems.

Tommy: Was there a plan there? So you got the debt or did it just accumulate? You weren't thinking and you just wasn't thinking. Okay.

Lehmo: And so I always had off. I had a very strange financial risk profile for someone who's actually an accountant.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: Like as, as my account, the guy who does my accounting now, he says, you're the only person I've ever known phone who has no money in the bank and looks at their credit card and considers that money in the bank? Because I'd go, I'd say, oh, I've got 4 grand available on my credit card, I'm gonna go for a holiday.

Josh: Yeah, 6 weeks.

Lehmo: I'm gonna go get 4 grand, I'm gonna go overseas for 6 weeks, I'm gonna spend it all.

Tommy: It's the kamikaze effect. Like, you just— well, you're completely just going for the wall and hoping that all of a sudden there's a door opens up.

Josh: I don't know if the kamikazes hoping that happens.

Tommy: No, but they don't. It seems like they do.

Lehmo: I think they are.

Tommy: They don't want to be. Look, if everyone's good people, you're— and so, no, but it's like thinking it's all going to pay off at some point. You've got to have that in your heart where it's like, so I always had that bit of positivity.

Lehmo: It's going to be fine. It'll all work out.

Tommy: So what, 32? Around 32, was it the first radio job, or is that—

Lehmo: so that was When I was 34, I got that gig.

Tommy: So hang on, you held in there for 2 years?

Lehmo: Hanging in there for a couple of years.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: Just doing stand-up and touring around the place.

Josh: Does it sort of play into the whole comedy thing, like the struggling comedian?

Lehmo: I think it helped. Yeah, definitely. It's made— it provides you with good motivation to be funny and write lots of material and book lots of gigs.

Tommy: I mean, do you get sad looking at the ones that don't?

Lehmo: I'm going to call my next festival show Sad.

Tommy: Looking at other people who might have been, might have been around you at the time that actually didn't make it. They were in the same debt, they're doing the exact same thing as you, and their chips didn't stack like yours did.

Lehmo: Yeah, to be honest with you, certainly all the people I was friends with at that time, all in their own different kinds of ways, have gone on to do the, you know, they've taken all really interesting and fun paths, and not many that I can think of I only hang around with winners.

Josh: You've forgotten anyone.

Lehmo: Not many drifted off into something else from what I can recall.

Tommy: I'm sure, I'm sure you could be wrong. I'm sure you contacted though, as someone who's been in the industry for a while, that people that are in exactly the position you're in, and the chance is that they won't make it. The chance is they won't crack it in a big way.

Lehmo: Yeah, I guess it depends what you mean by make it, you know, get out of debt, bro. Be sadless. Be happy.

Josh: That's my goal.

Lehmo: I just want to be happy.

Josh: How many gigs are you doing a week nowadays?

Lehmo: Well, I've just done the Adelaide Fringe, so in the lead up to the Fringe, I was doing 5 or 6 a week.

Josh: Yeah. What do you do in Adelaide? Like, you do that, like, so once you've done your show.

Lehmo: Yep.

Josh: Do you have like a routine?

Lehmo: So I've got a list. Oh yeah, I've got my list. So a typical—

Josh: Do you have the same list? Like when it comes to like Fringe, do you like bring out that list?

Lehmo: The Fringe list? No, no, I'll curate it depending what's going on.

Josh: That's a— you should have a website, Lemo's Lists.

Tommy: Just upload your list for the day.

Lehmo: Upload my list.

Josh: But you could also, depending on where you are, like it could be a bit of a travel type of thing. Like, oh, go to this restaurant.

Lehmo: Can you help me put my list together?

Tommy: Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah.

Lehmo: Curated list suggestions. Yeah. So on a typical day at the Adelaide Fringe, I would have—

Josh: Do you have a list today, by the way? That you can show us? You've got a new list?

Lehmo: No, I just— I, I haven't written the list down today, but it is in my head. Okay, what my list is today.

Josh: So go, go with the Adelaide one, and then I want to hear today's list.

Lehmo: So, uh, I would get up in the morning, typical day.

Josh: What time?

Lehmo: Um, oh, 8 o'clock.

Josh: That's all right.

Lehmo: Yeah, speak to my wife, try and speak to my son.

Josh: This is in Adelaide?

Lehmo: Yeah, on the— this is on the phone.

Josh: Okay, are you in like a serviced apartment or what?

Lehmo: I'm in a hotel. So talk to Kel, talk to my son, uh, then I would go for a walk or a run in the morning. Then I get back to the room and then I would arrange to meet someone for breakfast.

Josh: Another fellow comedian.

Lehmo: Another comedian. So it could be— who did I have breakfast with while I was there? Uh, Lawrence Mooney, Tom Gleeson.

Tommy: Oh, what's his name? Uh, Simon Taylor's over there doing The Fringe.

Lehmo: Oh, Simon's— I didn't meet Simon Taylor for breakfast, but Simon Taylor is over there. And, uh, yeah, Tom Gleeson, Mickey D. So whoever, yeah, had breakfast.

Josh: What do you talk about?

Tommy: Sadness.

Lehmo: How sad we are. That's a fairly common theme.

Josh: Black is your shit.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, there's a lot There's a lot of sad discussions amongst comedians.

Josh: Is there?

Lehmo: It really is.

Tommy: In what way? Like, is it I'm just feeling blue?

Lehmo: It's like, no, no, no, not sad like that, but just sad in the real authentic.

Josh: Just living in it.

Lehmo: Just no one's ever happy with what's going on.

Tommy: Okay.

Lehmo: You know, so it's about complaints about crowd sizes or how the show is received or reviews or successes of other people make you sad.

Tommy: I mean, you get a level of awareness about it. Is it something that other people are aware about?

Lehmo: I don't think so. I don't think people realise how fragile comedians are.

Josh: Yeah. Do they love— like, I could imagine if I was a comedian.

Lehmo: I was too. So I'll give you an example. I met— I won't name them, but I was meeting two comedians for lunch.

Tommy: It's one of the names that he listed.

Lehmo: I'm meeting two comedians for lunch, not breakfast. So different list.

Tommy: He's thrown us off.

Lehmo: And I sat down and I said, oh my God, I've got I've got the best Carl Barron story. And they both went, don't want to hear it. Don't want to hear it. Because they knew the storey would be about ticket sales because Carl Barron's a freak when it comes to ticket sales. They knew the storey would be about ticket sales and they both weren't happy with their ticket sales. So the last thing they wanted to hear was a really exciting storey about massive ticket sales by another comedian. So they went, nah, don't want to hear it.

Tommy: Is there a comedian that comes to mind that is the opposite? They love everybody. You know, they share the successes of everybody.

Lehmo: No, that's not true. And if they suck, they are of that line. No, not at all. So it would be, uh, breakfast with the comedian, back to my hotel. I might have a little snooze.

Josh: Do they have, um, is breakfast included in your room?

Lehmo: Uh, no, no. So you're going out? Yeah, go out to a cafe or something. Uh, might go back and have a little snooze in my room. Often a movie in the afternoon, so maybe the same comedians or some different comedians.

Josh: Well, you go to the cinema?

Lehmo: Go to the cinema together, yes.

Josh: Really?

Lehmo: So I saw 1917, Parasite, and Jojo Rabbit in Adelaide.

Josh: And so like, that's interesting going to the movies.

Tommy: What, like, is it a stimulus?

Josh: Is it, uh, do you end up just talking about the movies through your whole set?

Tommy: You're just, you're just away from your 3-year-old.

Lehmo: You're like, yes, for me, yeah, I'm away from my kid and away from sort of home commitments, and I never go to the cinema. So something like that, and that would be the same. So I went to Jojo Rabbit with Lawrence Mooney I went and saw Parasite with Tom Gleeson, Justin Hamilton, Nina Ayama, and Heath Franklin. And then I went and saw— what was the other one? 1917 by myself.

Josh: And so I guess it's a good thing, like, because you get to conserve or preserve— preserve or conserve energy? Conserve energy.

Lehmo: Conserve.

Josh: Conserve. Because you're not talking to everyone. Is that part of it?

Lehmo: Ah, No, no, no, not really. I just— yeah, for me, I just never get to go to the movies and it's fun to go with comedians because we all have— certainly your comedy mates, you have similar sensibilities.

Josh: Who books them?

Lehmo: So in Adelaide we would all— well, I went to 1917 by myself. I was late when I was—

Josh: Did you use Telstra tickets? Did you go through the Telstra?

Lehmo: No, no, I just buy them there. I was almost the only person in the cinema, which I love.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Which is my dream. Cinema is to be the only person in a cinema. I try and choose movies that—

Josh: you should get a TV at home.

Lehmo: No, I like it. It's to get out of the house. It's like a great adventure. So I'll choose films that have been out for ages, and I'll try and choose an obscure time. So like an early morning Wednesday, for example, or Monday, of a film that's been out for 8 weeks or more. There's an excellent chance you'll be the only person in the cinema.

Josh: How does the cinema make money, do you reckon, at that point?

Lehmo: I guess someone just turns it on. So whatever. You know what I mean?

Tommy: One person's in there. That's it.

Lehmo: They've got the film.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Just turn it on.

Josh: Just play the DVD.

Lehmo: You're away.

Tommy: Are you trying to preserve energy for the rest of the night until you show at the night? Is that what you do?

Lehmo: No, no, no. So then you watch the movie and then—

Josh: So with the Group 1, who gets the group tickets? Sorry.

Lehmo: We all met each other at cinema, then just lined up and bought our tickets.

Josh: And so do you— because there's something about being an adult and then having to, like, if you're going up one by one, do you have to say, oh, can we sit together?

Lehmo: Yeah, so I was the first in the line. I said, all of us are together, and she said, yeah, no worries. Okay, anyway, we went in the cinemas, huge cinema for Parasite. There were, I think, 10 people there, so us plus another 5. We were all sat next to each other, row 5. There were 3 people directly in front of us and then 2 people sat somewhere else in the cinema. But it was weird. Huge empty cinema. I would have thought they would jam together.

Josh: There's the best spots, like, you know where the good, the good bits are, I guess. Are you someone who eats? Like, do you, would you get popcorn?

Lehmo: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: So I would get Froot Chocs, the South Australian confectionery that I like.

Josh: So what are they?

Lehmo: So they're like a, it's milk chocolate around an apricot square.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Lehmo: Okay. And they're freaking delicious.

Tommy: I grew up in South Australia, right?

Lehmo: Oh my God, yeah.

Tommy: Is it something you had as a kid?

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah. Oh, I just love it.

Tommy: You got any on you?

Lehmo: I don't, I finished the packet last night. So I would have, I would eat a whole packet of Froot Loops.

Josh: How big's the packet?

Lehmo: Uh, it's like a just normal lolly size.

Josh: Like lolly size?

Tommy: Family size?

Josh: Like a party pack?

Lehmo: Are you meant to share it?

Josh: Yes.

Lehmo: Do I share it?

Josh: No. So did you ever, like, if you with a group, is there a sense of like, hey guys, do you want to share your fruit?

Lehmo: So I was sitting in between Heath Franklin and Hammo, Justin Hamilton, and I was eating all my fruit to myself and piling them in while the trailer's happening.

Josh: Good idea.

Lehmo: The trailer for the new Bond film looks amazing. Yeah, yeah. And I'm piling them in, and then Hammo has got Jaffas.

Josh: Okay.

Lehmo: And he leans across to Heath and says, would you like a Jaffa? And Heath goes, oh, I'd love one. And then I felt bad that I hadn't been offering my way.

Josh: And so that you were in between both of them, weren't you?

Tommy: Oh fuck. It's a real— and he spoke loudly.

Lehmo: Would you like a jam?

Josh: Well, they didn't know what the fucking little square things you were like you were eating were actually.

Tommy: Did you give him one at least?

Lehmo: So, uh, and there— well, I was nearly finished, so I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't offer any around.

Josh: No, I get it.

Lehmo: Uh, so, so that was, that was Parasite. So then you've got movie in the afternoon, um And then maybe an early dinner depending if you've got a late dinner organised or not.

Josh: And not being a fast food guy, what do you have for dinner?

Lehmo: Just go to a— I'll either order— a couple of days I ordered pizza to my room, hotel room, for an early dinner.

Josh: Would you have a whole pizza on your own?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, pretty easy.

Lehmo: Yep.

Josh: I go large margherita, or what are you getting?

Lehmo: I'd normally pepperoni. Pepperoni, and then I feel sad.

Tommy: How quick, how quick? What are we talking?

Josh: I reckon the pepperoni bits is the sad bit. If you had margarita, it would just— like, I feel like if I have a margarita, I'm like, look, I've just had a bit of bread and tomato, and it's like—

Lehmo: it's all the bread that makes me sad. It's not the pepperoni, it's all the bread. It's all the bread. So, uh, and then I do the show. A couple of nights I went for dinner after the show, so my mum came one night night and we go to a restaurant, have dinner.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: And then, or other nights in Adelaide, you'd have a late show. So I would do my show or I'd be a guest on someone else's show. So don't go and do my guest spot, then go and do a late show, or maybe a couple of late shows, and then, um, then just hang out, a few beers, back to bed.

Josh: Are you ever considering bloating when you're on stage? Is that an issue?

Tommy: It's not— he's not doing a fitness competition.

Josh: I feel like I would if I was doing stand-up up, I feel like I'd be like, you know what, I'm gonna not have the pizza. I'm gonna have the pizza after.

Tommy: All right.

Josh: Yeah, it's never a consideration.

Lehmo: Oh, look, I'm beyond caring. 20 years ago, that might have been a consideration. I just don't care. It's a great thing about comedy. Everyone's welcome. Yeah, as a comedian, you know. So if I've got— looks like I've got a beer guts on stage, then does it pay to be a bit, um, Not ugly.

Josh: Ugly is the wrong word. But do you think it pays to be like— I don't think Tommy could ever be a comedian necessarily.

Tommy: Mate, limiting belief. Keep the affordances out.

Josh: Just because like, I think that like projecting your sadness. Like hot comedians. Not many hot comedians.

Tommy: Tommy Little.

Josh: Tommy Little.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: The other Tommy. But how many Tommies can you have?

Lehmo: Tommy's a spunk. Dave Thornton's a bit of a spunk.

Josh: Oh yeah.

Tommy: Lots of spunks.

Lehmo: But I think, do they have to work extra hard to be funny? You just have to be interesting. Interesting. Yeah, you've got to be interesting.

Tommy: You've got to be funny, don't you?

Lehmo: Some people have a quirky look that can certainly add to their stage persona, but I don't think looking one way or another necessarily rules you out. But comedy is about, largely I think, about imperfections. And if you're perfect, then there's not going to be much that's funny about you.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: And just—

Josh: you can't laugh at yourself.

Tommy: How long before a show are you getting to the venue?

Lehmo: Like, what's the What's the, what's the, uh, I, I like to get there about an hour early normally, but it's just a quirk of the venue I was at. I couldn't access the green room until the show before me finished.

Josh: What are they doing?

Lehmo: Well, yeah, you can only access the green room through the venue. Oh yeah. And I couldn't walk through the venue while the previous show was on, so I was getting there about 15 minutes before my show started.

Josh: Adelaide.

Lehmo: So I'd stay in my hotel room to the last minute, then walk to the venue.

Tommy: Is it— does it make you anxious? Are you thinking, fuck, I need a bit more time to prep?

Lehmo: Pretty relaxed in Adelaide because the fruit juice— so ticket sales were good.

Josh: And I was pretty—

Tommy: good.

Lehmo: No, no, no one's ticket sales are Cal Barron good. Well, unless you're Dave Chappelle.

Tommy: Yeah.

Lehmo: Uh, so I was pretty relaxed. Yeah, yeah. But normally that would make me anxious. I like to pace around beforehand.

Josh: What do you think is the consideration around ticket sales?

Tommy: What—

Josh: when you've had really great years or bad years, what's been the contributing factor?

Lehmo: Uh, uh, it does depend a lot on what else I'm doing, but our ticket sales also depend on momentum. So if people who've consistently done shows every year, provided they're funny, which most of them are, uh, their ticket sales increase year on year on year. I've done really interrupted runs, so my ticket sales haven't had that consistent growth that some others would have had.

Tommy: Is there anything you can point to, like radio when you were on Triple M, or is it on the—

Lehmo: if I'm on The Project, I feel like The Project was ever shifted a lot of units. I don't think, uh, Karl Baron's on TikTok.

Josh: Is he? You know about this?

Tommy: Is he?

Josh: Yeah, he's huge on— someone said, oh, Who was it the other day?

Lehmo: Is Karl Baron really on TikTok himself?

Josh: I don't know if him, but he's blown— someone said, they said a comedian's name and it was another bald comedian. Like, you sure they're on TikTok? I'm like, do you mean Karl Baron? They said, yes, I mean Karl Baron.

Lehmo: I doubt that Karl Baron's on TikTok. I suspect someone else is putting Karl Baron material up.

Josh: Yeah, apparently it's doing very well on TikTok. Can you look that up as a thing, Seb?

Lehmo: Because he's just not a social media guy at all. The only— which is part of Karl's genius the only time you'll ever see Karl Baron is on stage.

Josh: Yeah, where does he live?

Tommy: Oh, that's my TikTok.

Lehmo: Uh, pretty sure he's still in Sydney.

Tommy: I'm just checking his TikTok.

Josh: So DVDs used to be the big thing.

Lehmo: He sold a lot of DVDs back in the day. Yeah, when DVD sales were a thing.

Josh: And in Australia, is there the opportunity— so like in the US, it's all about getting the Netflix special. Is there any conversation around that?

Lehmo: Uh, yeah, we tend not really to have those conversations. I certainly haven't with other comedians. But, uh, yeah, I guess now Stan does a lot of specials. Um, so that's certainly an avenue for comedians in Australia.

Tommy: Yeah. What about acting for you? Where does it sit in terms of what you want to be doing?

Lehmo: Well, I enjoy acting. I do love it. Uh, we've done 4 seasons of Utopia now. And that was really, really good fun. Loved working with the Working Dog guys. So I would like to do more acting.

Tommy: Yeah. Is it— I mean, I always think about if I was to do acting, it'd be— I couldn't do anything more than just some heightened version of myself.

Lehmo: For you, that's kind of my character in Utopia is a bit like that, is a little bit like that.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: I feel like—

Tommy: what colour is your shit?

Lehmo: Yeah, after dinner he feels a bit sad. So I feel like, um, it's me plus or minus, depending how you look at it, you know, 10 or 20%, my character in Utopia. Yeah, he's, um, because he's a guy who's always in a good mood, you know, nothing he's eating right, nothing. Yeah, nothing ever fazes him or bothers him. And his motto in life is a problem passed on to someone else is a problem solved. He feels no guilt or shame whatsoever about passing on those problems.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: So I've really enjoyed you, Toby. So I'd love to, I'd love to do more acting. You know, it's a competitive business though.

Tommy: Are you a goal setter? Yeah, I am.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Not that my goals aren't as firm as they should be. I've set mostly short-term goals lately.

Josh: Like what sort of things?

Lehmo: Uh, so for example, I just, you know what, they tend to be radio-related, radio gig-related, or TV gig-related.

Josh: Control that shit though. Like at the end of the day, it's you're needing to have a CD or someone like—

Tommy: You had a number one rating show on Triple M.

Lehmo: I did have a number one rating radio show, so I don't really, I don't send out about, you know, I was doing air check. I don't send out a reel or an air check, you know what I mean? Because I feel like people know. Yeah. So it's about me just talking to people and saying, hey, you know, that is— that's a gig I wouldn't mind doing, or that's something I'm interested in.

Josh: Is that how you say it?

Lehmo: No, that's a gig I wouldn't mind doing.

Josh: Just eating your fruit fucking chops.

Tommy: Do you call people?

Josh: Shots before I feel sad.

Tommy: Are you making hard calls, calling Duncan Campbell or, you know, someone, you know, these bosses? Are you actually doing that?

Lehmo: Oh, not really, but what I— but I'm, I'm often pitching shows, pitching ideas.

Josh: Are they written out?

Lehmo: TV and radio people, what does it look like?

Josh: Like, if you pitch an idea, you might— mate, I've got a fucking idea.

Lehmo: But often it'll be, yeah, something like that. It could be as simple as that where you just stop someone in a hallway and go, I'll go on for you.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Lehmo: What about blah blah blah?

Josh: Have you had any good examples of where a very small conversation has led to something big?

Lehmo: Uh, it's a hard one. Let me think. Not that I can think of.

Tommy: I mean, getting a sandwich ends up on this podcast. It was our conversation.

Lehmo: I, uh, yeah, so I did, uh, The Glasshouse years ago, um, which is the show Will Anderson used to do with Hughesy and Corinne Grant on the ABC, little chat show. I was a guest on that one night, then I was in the green room afterwards, and Kevin White, who runs Token Management, he— we were sitting in the green room together, and I wasn't a client of Token at the time. I didn't really have management at the time. And he said to me, just as a side comment, he goes, you into footy? I said, yeah, I bloody love footy. He goes, all right. And that was the entirety of that conversation, and that led to me being a panellist on Before the Game for 11 years. So, so that's an example, I guess, of a small conversation leading to something big.

Josh: Think about how many pubs where people are saying that it definitely doesn't lead to that. And then I was fucking there, and then all of a sudden—

Lehmo: so that, and then Before the Game has led to all manner of other football-related gigs.

Tommy: I think early days in people's careers, you can— you end up going actively putting yourself in these positions to try and get these things to happen, to try and meet these people. Is there a difference when you've been doing it? Is the mindset not, I'm actively out trying to do this, it's just I'm amongst it, I'll always be having conversations?

Lehmo: Yeah, you are. You're pretty much always, yeah, pitching ideas, talking to people about what could work for them, what could work for you. And you kind of— and you only want to do projects that you're really, really into. I'm not, you know, you won't ever find me hosting a, I don't know, a fast food club.

Josh: You could. Maybe that's exactly what they need.

Tommy: That'd be good.

Josh: I've watched that. So it's a bit of like the rounds at the moment. So Melbourne Comedy Festival. Is there a Sydney one before then or what are you doing?

Lehmo: So I only did Adelaide, so I wasn't going to do a show this year because I just didn't feel as though I had a show in me. But Craig Egan, who runs the Rhino Room in Adelaide, talked me into it because it's a special anniversary of Adelaide Comedy and he wanted me to come back. Uh, so he talked me into it, so I said sure, I'll pull a show together. And anyway, I ended up— I really liked the show. So the show's called Younger Than Brad Pitt because I am younger.

Josh: And so you're gonna do it at the other festivals?

Lehmo: I'm younger than Brad Pitt.

Tommy: Pit.

Lehmo: Uh, and I really like the show. So it's about getting old, the show, and it's been a bit of fun. So I might do it at the Melbourne Fringe later this year, and if that goes well, then I'll do a full run of festivals next year. So it goes Perth Fringe, Adelaide Fringe, Brisbane Comedy Festival, Melbourne Comedy Festival, Sydney Comedy Festival, Perth Comedy Festival. So all that goes from the start of January to the end of May.

Tommy: What's the difference in audience between, say, Adelaide, Sydney, Melbourne?

Lehmo: Uh, it's as far as audience numbers go.

Tommy: No, more I would talk about Karl Baron. More vibe. What's— yeah, what's—

Lehmo: uh, look, Frozen, from a festival point of view, I think the Adelaide Fringe has the best vibe. Like, it's just that city hands itself over to the Fringe. And it's because you're just high on sugar from all the food. Yeah, possibly. But there's just a really cool buzz around town. Yeah, it's a really cool vibe and everywhere you go you get a sense of the fringe.

Josh: Is Clipsill 500 on at the same time?

Lehmo: Yeah, it's now called the Superloop 500.

Josh: Oh really?

Lehmo: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, okay.

Lehmo: So that's on at the same— so it was on last weekend, so that was 4 days.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: So that's an interesting mix. Your V8 crowd, you get the polo shirt wearing mixed in with—

Josh: yeah, comedy.

Lehmo: I had a couple of V8 fans in my show and said they're not— and I could tell they're V8 fans because they're wearing the uniforms, which how many sports to people wear the uniform to watch the sport. So V8s, they do, like covered in sponsors and everything on their shirts. The worst example or best example is cycling. So the Tour Down Under in South Australia, cyclists dressed in full Lycra ride their bikes to watch cyclists dressed in full Lycra. And they wear the same, like all the same sponsors. Hanging over their beer guts on the bottom. Uh, footy, people wear jumper.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Uh, to it.

Tommy: Boxing, they're not walking out.

Lehmo: You can't get into a boxing match wearing just shorts and a belt. Uh, swimming, if you rocked up with just budgie smugglers, you may not get in.

Josh: Yeah.

Lehmo: Uh, cricket, one day cricket maybe. Test cricket, I don't think you're going to turn up with basketball.

Josh: Maybe you could wear it.

Lehmo: I guess you wear wear the top over your—

Josh: I don't get the whole, like, I'm trying to actually get a deal with KO at the moment. I want to do a sports segment on here. All I'm asking for is a subscription. It's pretty low-level shit.

Tommy: What we know about deals is you need to bring value.

Josh: I saw fucking Triple M's got a massive KO watermark. They're doing shit with them. And surely, like, for a podcast, we're digital, we're on people on devices.

Lehmo: Are you— is this your pitch to KO right now?

Josh: No, I, um, I don't know if you know Max Price, but we had Max Price on who's done shit. I don't know Max.

Lehmo: Max worked on the— I worked on the footy show with Max.

Josh: Oh, great.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so like I pitched it to him, Callum Sinclair from the Swans. Oh yeah, I pitched it to him as well. But yeah, it's not going well.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: All I want is I think it's probably so low level they don't know how to deal with it, you know, because like, okay, we need to organise legal together, contract.

Tommy: They're actually saying you retired us, just pay the $10 a month.

Josh: No, no, no, it's not $10. It's $25. Oh wow.

Tommy: It's $25 a month.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: It's not that much if you're into sports.

Josh: That's good.

Tommy: Are you?

Lehmo: That's another one of my subscriptions.

Josh: Yeah, it is.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Well, I just feel like I could get into baseball. I'm thinking that like just from a— they always— from a quality point of view, it looks great on the TV.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, it does. I, I'm not a massive baseball fan.

Josh: You can appreciate the cinematography.

Lehmo: But I can appreciate what you're looking at there. I'm more of a— with American sports, basketball I like. And ice hockey.

Josh: Oh yeah, we thought about that.

Lehmo: It's really fun.

Tommy: Yeah, it's rough. We got a puck over there. They are fucking hard. You wouldn't want that coming at your face. That's a soft one as well.

Lehmo: It's not even proper.

Josh: Yeah, it's one that you bought— Dill bought at the gift shop.

Tommy: It's a bullshit puck.

Lehmo: Sorry about that, Lebo.

Tommy: That's embarrassing, really.

Lehmo: Just serving up a bullshit puck.

Josh: Thank you for coming on the show.

Lehmo: It's made me a bit sad.

Tommy: Can you thread in some of the sadness to your shows? Yeah, I like it.

Lehmo: We should, you know what, it's made me think I should talk about being sad on stage. I've never done that as material on stage.

Tommy: What if it's part of being old, mate?

Lehmo: It's part of being old. It all ties in.

Josh: What are, yeah, fast food sad or something like that. I feel like there could be some sort of fast food.

Tommy: It's a great, a bit about how quickly do you get sad from the food? Yeah.

Josh: Different food places.

Lehmo: I like, because you know, Macca's back 20 years ago, it just didn't make me sad at all.

Tommy: Really?

Lehmo: I just ate it and I'd be happy for the rest of the day.

Josh: So what's it? Is it guilt? Is this culture putting on this, or do you think they've changed the ingredients?

Lehmo: I think because now I'm more conscious of my general health, despite the fact that I'll drink a bottle of wine and eat a—

Josh: Yeah, sure. So you've created the storey about that that you're okay with, but the burger thing? Yeah, you're thinking too much about—

Lehmo: I'm thinking, mind you, the chocolate and the red wine do make me sad at some point. Yeah, but I think more about the burgers. I think you asked, you knew this was going to happen.

Tommy: Happen. Can we do a video with you where we take you to Nando's and we see how quickly you get sad? It's a timer that starts.

Lehmo: Actually, take me to all the fast food places. We'll see, we'll create a leaderboard.

Josh: You literally said you wouldn't do a fast food show. We've just sold in the fast food show.

Tommy: Break the contract.

Lehmo: It could be like Top Gear. Yeah, just have the leaderboard.

Josh: Yeah, blood sugar levels. We could do all that sort of stuff.

Tommy: We'll get the doc involved, Dr. Rochford.

Lehmo: Yeah, exactly. Checking the shit. Test my shit color.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Are you—

Josh: just quickly, are you soft drink guy? Do you drink soft?

Lehmo: No, no, not at all.

Josh: Not even like a Diet Coke? No. Oh, you're right.

Lehmo: Okay, that's a slight lie. If I rock up to a gig and I'm feeling a bit tired, I'll have a lemonade.

Josh: Oh, okay. Lemonade's almost like a bit medical. Like, I feel like lemonade—

Tommy: because your mum said if you're feeling a bit sick, have a lemonade. That's exactly what I got.

Lehmo: If I'm on a long car drive and I'm feeling tired, I'll have have a V.

Josh: Oh, you're an animal.

Lehmo: Yeah, yeah, I know. But aside from that, I'm water, beer, and red wine.

Josh: Fizzy water? No, just normal. Glad we got that sorted. Yes, it would have been so annoying if we didn't.

Lehmo: Is this the player profile you put together every episode?

Josh: Could you imagine the card? It would actually be quite good, like the fast food. I'm imagining stuff.

Tommy: All right, thanks.

Josh: If you enjoyed the show, leave us an Apple Podcast review. Otherwise, see you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: See ya.