Too Much Friction

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 600.

Tommy: Clap that one in, that's worth it.

Josh: We made it to this day, and I've already, uh, made Bodhi cry, and Bodhi's made me cry.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, you are nicknamed the Dad. It's actually a dad move to make their kid cry by roaring back at them.

Josh: Yeah. Oh, I just, I just had a moment as well of like, he's pretty gullible at this age. And so I've just started spinning absolute lies.

Tommy: I know, but you do it so easily. That's the, that's the scary bit about the lies.

Josh: It's like, I spoke to an elephant.

Tommy: Yeah. And then my wife and Show Baker, who's in the building.

Josh: Welcome, Show Baker.

Tommy: Uh, we have some treats which we'll explore a bit later on. Uh, they both got into the lies. They were like entertaining you.

Jess: Yeah.

Tommy: Mason and I are over here.

Josh: Or was I entertaining them?

Tommy: Yeah, I think you were entertaining them. It's not easy crowd, Josh.

Josh: Yeah, no, I get it. Well, we were trying to think of something to do while 97, our tech genius, was trying to get a live stream going. How's it gone?

Mason: Yeah, I think okay.

Josh: What are people saying in the comments? Um, doesn't sound good.

Mason: Doha says rocking that skunk hat.

Josh: Yeah, so thank you. I'm wearing a skunk tat if you—

Mason: That's exciting. I'm the only one watching on Facebook.

Tommy: Yeah, something's definitely gone pear-shaped. But, you know, we've grown in 600 episodes. We're making shit happen, aren't we?

Josh: Yeah. Are we? The funny thing is, it's like we know these things are coming. Yeah, it's like we, we haven't spoken about on the show, but we just released our first video. Yeah. Open the shop.

Tommy: Well, that was only last night. And so that came out after yesterday's episode. Which is, yeah, awesome. Our new series, Open the Shopper. If you're reading Mr. 97's caption, it was once a week, but it's actually—

Josh: wait, he's changed it. I fixed it.

Tommy: Oh, you fixed it. But if you got in early, Mr. 97 gave us more work by saying we do one of these videos per week, but it is once a month.

Josh: Yeah, once a month. And so this month we had the hilarious, the delightful, the sparkly Mrs. White.

Tommy: Amazing photographer. She did my wedding photos.

Josh: Did she bring glitter? Was there those elements? Were there sparkly sort of—

Tommy: Nah, I mean, that's her shoots. I'm not sure if she's just throwing tinsel.

Josh: I would love to seen you. I feel like you'd be more comfortable in tinsel now than what you were 2 years ago, don't you think?

Tommy: In tinsel?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Look, no, I like getting a good snap and I know the colour adds to it. We got some really nice shots walking down the aisle and people throwing stuff out.

Josh: Like rice?

Tommy: No, no, no, no. What? It was confetti. Who throws rice?

Josh: Uh, I know, if you don't want to ruin the environment. Oh, confetti, like, that's like one dolphin, two dolphins. I mean, it's like, pick your battles, pick your battles, mate.

Tommy: There's, uh, there's always a bone to pick with anything that anyone does. Um, we were at a, uh, wedding not long ago.

Josh: What was that? What was Amy saying, please? What was Amy saying?

Mason: Biodegradable.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, that's what we had.

Josh: It was just fruit scraps.

Tommy: Um, no, we, we went to a wedding and watching these kids— that was a, a friend of mine, Steph, and she had, um, she'd walked down the aisle and come back. And so the tinsel, whatever it is, the confetti had been— oh no, it was rose petals or something— had been dispersed off. And then these little kids thought it was hilarious. She's got a full, you know, beautiful wedding outfit on and her hair looking great. These kids got grass clippings from the ground and were throwing it at her, thinking it's like, ah, funny. But it got stuck in her hair, in her dress, and she was like trying to work out what the fuck was going on and what— why they were doing it. Kids.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, as a kid I did many things like that. I remember throwing my first ever snowball at my cousin's boyfriend, and what I didn't realise was it was just a block of ice and cut his whole face open.

Tommy: Dude, the worst bit is there's— that happens a lot. I got piffed one at me by us, by the guy who worked on the chairlift. Like, he's the guy that lets people on, and so he's meant to be helping people, and he's thrown one at me and my nose just blood into this, into the snow, just red blood all over everywhere.

Josh: Anyway, snowballs, I reckon, um, maybe overhyped in Hollywood in regards to how easy and effective they are.

Tommy: Have you seen Elf?

Josh: Is that the one? I'm thinking of Bad Santa.

Tommy: Elf's got, um, Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell, he's like a— yeah, he's a real human, but he was brought up by elves.

Josh: Really bad CGI.

Tommy: Yeah, but I think it's— I almost think it's on purpose. It is so stupid because Because he then comes down back down to earth, but he throws snowballs and can do like, like a machine gun of snowballs. And it's like you learn that if you're an elf and so you can throw snowballs.

Josh: Did you ever play tennis?

Tommy: Yeah, I played tennis.

Josh: Did you get the, the tennis, you know, where you put the tennis balls in and they'll doom?

Tommy: Oh yeah, nah, see that was the machines that do that shit. So there's the tennis one and there's the bowling machine for cricket. Never got them. It was always like, I wish I could do that stuff.

Josh: Yeah, well, I just had one at my, like, training.

Jess: What—

Josh: I'm just trying to think of the guy. The guy called me maestro. The coach. Why was he calling me maestro? What does that mean? Just me? What does maestro mean? What's the definition of maestro? Yeah, g'day maestro.

Tommy: You are a maestro. Is it like a prophet? Like you are at a level within the thing you do? Like your maestro level? Or a maestro is the singing Title of respect.

Josh: Oh, really? It seems like there was a bit of sarcasm going because I think I was the worst on the court. It's like, come on, maestro.

Tommy: It's like being—

Jess: what was it? I feel like that's— yeah, he's calling you maestro because you're the opposite.

Tommy: Yeah, I think, yeah, it's like saying, hey boss, you know, everyone's chief. You're not. I'm, uh, yeah, it's not, it's not the thing. Um, Mr. 97, we were on Jason PJ's podcast this morning. Uh, we were doing some filming in at the build—

Josh: at the building.

Tommy: At ARN where they have their show, and they pulled us in. So nice. Got to do a quick little show in their studio. I mean, how times have changed. I used to try and get into that studio to do anything back in the day when I worked there.

Josh: Yeah, ARN, I know, um, just extremely— well, obviously the podcast— let's move the podcast ranker aside. I am not involved in that stuff. They are so lovely. Like just walking, walking around. Did you see me chatting to all the engineers?

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: Tawzy, Will, like they were all just like letting me, like I was talking about NDI, SDI. I did a whole keynote and by the end of it they're all like, oh yeah, sounds like we got a, I think his name was Jordan, gave us a tour. Like we were looking, they've got, when you walk in they've got all these racks of technology and 97and9 and I was like from a distance being like, oh, I think that's the Omnia Vault. Yeah, that's, that's owned by Telos Alliance. Yeah, they do. Do, um, they also do the phone systems and a few other— anyway, I think his name was Jordan. He comes up to us and goes, oh, you guys want to, you want to, uh, have a look inside? And so he gets his key. And what I really appreciate is then someone from the content team's like, hey, we've just—

Tommy: some—

Josh: I think a computer's down over here. He's like, yeah, I'll be there in a second.

Mason: Yeah, I know.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, I really appreciated that.

Tommy: I was putting it on when you were delivering your keynote.

Mason: Tommy's like, oh yeah, can you go grab Josh? We're gonna go film this. And I walked in and then Tommy went and sat down and started talking to everyone else.

Tommy: Yeah, so it was just like, yeah, I know, that's it, they're being double teamed by the Daily Talk Show. But, um, so we were on their podcast and, uh, a young producer that works on Jason PJ came to the room and I asked, are you single? And I always have to preface, I'm married, I'm not being a creep here. And my wife just creeped at me. Uh, or what? Huh? Or what? An extra?

Josh: Or extra creepy?

Tommy: Oh, extra creepy. No, no, but I'm always looking.

Josh: Is there some form of arrangement? No.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't know, maybe she was just saying it's a good thing that I was covering my ass, that I wasn't trying to be creepy. You can't— if you talk, I can't hear you, so it's okay.

Josh: Well, you probably needed to get a better room. Sebs was trying to deal with getting the Facebook Live to my personal Facebook. Page.

Tommy: Oh, that's what's happened? That's what he's done?

Mason: It's been shared into the group.

Josh: Yeah, but is anyone in the group on it?

Tommy: No. Anyway, I asked, are you single? Because I thought, how good would it be if we had one of our Gronks dating one of the Gronks from Jason PJ?

Josh: Sure. I mean, it's very forward. It seems a slight transactional—

Tommy: what do you mean?

Josh: Well, just, I think that that's Mr. 97. No, don't you think it's a little bit arranged marriage? A little bit like What's wrong with that? You'd be good for my boy.

Tommy: What's wrong with that?

Josh: I don't think you can do that anymore.

Tommy: Yes, you can, as long as they say yes. Okay, I'll meet your boy, and if the boy's good for me—

Josh: When can you ask someone if they're single?

Tommy: I think, I mean, this is a couple of blokes talking about this. We have some ladies in the building, uh, one of which doesn't have a mic, which I think there's a different opinion maybe. But I always felt like if the intention's right, are you single? I wouldn't do it if I was single trying to pick up a single person.

Josh: When do you— when have you asked someone if they're single?

Tommy: Um, well, whenever. I mean, today, this morning, but just in the past, it's always like, am I— I'll do it for a friend. I'll put my foot— self out there to say, are you single? Like thinking about somebody else.

Josh: Were you a good wingman, do you think, growing up? Uh, no, that's a no.

Tommy: No, probably not, probably not. But let's ask Alexandra, uh, female's opinion. If you were asked, asked, are you single, without understanding context yet, would it offend you?

Jess: No, it wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I'd be like, no, yeah, I am single.

Tommy: Um, there we go.

Josh: I'm single.

Tommy: I'm single. Wow.

Jess: Um, no, I think asking if somebody's single for somebody else is great because I've already done it. Yeah. So I did it on behalf of somebody. And then, yeah, I think it's fine.

Tommy: I think it's always good at the start of a party if someone is putting it on, just to make it known who the single people are, especially at things like a wedding. Oh no, that's what happened at the same wedding where my friend got that shit thrown on us. He got— it was a great bit by the, uh, I'm sure he's probably looked it up or seen it done somewhere else by the MC. Stand up if you're happily married. Stand, you know, it's like— and by the time the only people left stand— oh, is it everyone stand up, sit down if you're married, sit down if blah blah blah. By the time the end, it's like 10 people standing. You say, look around the room, this is your options tonight, which was so good because it was like all the people single were standing. It was like, you actually do, just as if they're not— they're like, haha, just taking stock, you know.

Josh: Yeah, there's no options, 50/50, like they're pretty serious.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're laughing, but they're like, yeah.

Josh: Well, Sevs was saying how much he loved how open the team, the Jason PJ team, were.

Mason: Oh yeah, definitely. You could go chat to anyone. It was just everyone was so friendly.

Josh: He said, did you hear about, uh, Paris's nipples?

Tommy: Who said this?

Josh: 97 did.

Tommy: I mean, this is the person that I asked if you're single, and now you're talking about her goddamn nipples.

Josh: I know, but that's actually something that he said. And I said, yeah, she said that she got them pierced. She's like, yeah, how about that? It's like, he's like, oh yeah, the, um, but yeah, isn't it nice that the whole team can talk about it? I'm like, did you just come up with this whole team morale convo as a way of just bringing up about the nipples? About the nipples?

Mason: What, what actually happened?

Tommy: Mace, can you turn off the catch mic just because Bodie's losing his mind? Mate, don't you know it's episode 600? Sorry.

Mason: No, I was saying that they're— that the production— the producing team has such a great culture that they can talk about piercing their nipples in front of each other.

Tommy: Is that great culture, or you just never had a job before?

Mason: No, but you know what I mean, like, you wouldn't— I mean, like, some teams wouldn't discuss that.

Josh: Would you get a piercing for the show?

Mason: On my nipple?

Josh: I didn't say that. That sounds fun. It seems like you've— huh? No, you wouldn't?

Jess: No.

Josh: After leaning in.

Mason: No.

Tommy: What would you get a piercing anywhere? Like, if you had to— let's put it this way, you don't have an option. Not saying this is going to happen, but where would you get it if you wanted to aesthetically add to your—

Josh: or non-esthetic? Maybe it's for feeling.

Mason: Oh, um, where would I get one?

Tommy: While you think about that, my friend said to me, I pierced my dick. I said, what? And he— this is a friend of mine who, you know, has done a few things that I've been pretty surprised of that a human would do. But, um, yeah, I was like, mate, show me. What do you mean you got it? Like, he's like, no, I pierced it. I did it myself.

Mason: Okay, with anesthetic? What did he—

Tommy: I don't know, I think it was just ice.

Josh: Well, he was on ice.

Tommy: No, no, not on ice.

Josh: That would be something you do on ice, I reckon.

Tommy: Maybe, but he pierced just the foreskin, so it wasn't, it wasn't—

Josh: I mean, I don't have a foreskin, but do you need them?

Tommy: No, you don't.

Josh: No, is that where people normally get a piercing?

Tommy: Well, I mean, don't search that, Mr. Nice Abs. Yeah, you can.

Josh: I think you can get them where the—

Tommy: like on the actual peen. Yeah, like near the cock eye.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Yeah, you can have that done, but it's also— he's found something.

Josh: What do you think?

Tommy: Oh, that's hell exact for one.

Mason: That's on Wikipedia as well.

Tommy: Geez, they take my Wikipedia down but they leave out the bloody cock ring.

Josh: So what have you learned?

Mason: What have I learned?

Josh: Yeah, well, no, cock ring isn't a cock ring, the ring at the base of the cock ring, like a ring.

Tommy: You can have a ring.

Mason: He had a—

Tommy: you could have a stud or a ring on your penis called a cock ring.

Josh: Anyway, before you tell us that, Seb, where would you get your—

Tommy: yeah, that's what I want.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, you get the ear done.

Jess: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: I could do that personally.

Mason: No, I don't want to.

Tommy: Would have to do outside of business hours so it's not a workplace.

Mason: Anywhere else would hurt. I don't know about eyebrow, wouldn't do it.

Tommy: Dude, I did my own. Well, I didn't, my mate did it.

Mason: Your ear or eyebrow?

Tommy: My ear, my ears, both of them when we were young. Iced it and used the stud to push it through, so it wasn't great, but it just comes out the other side. It literally makes a popping sound.

Josh: Something disgusting about my— I got my ears pierced when I was like 10. I went to the Endeavour Hills chemist.

Tommy: Was that off your own back?

Josh: Oh no, it was a trend. It was the year 2000 or around then.

Tommy: Yeah, back when it was young, I remember thinking very like the younger you are, the more bogan it is as a young boy. Like the young boys who were having it done.

Josh: Well, I, um, I must have been older than 10 then.

Tommy: 10's super young.

Josh: I must have been 12 because, um, 12's like grade 6.

Tommy: You're trying to sort of find yourself. Your balls are slowly starting to drop down.

Josh: I have a feeling, um, but what I do remember is after getting it done, we would go to the Dandenong Market to get earrings, and you just have to make sure that you really put a bunch of alcohol on them before you wore them.

Tommy: Yuck.

Josh: But, um, Nike ticks were huge. Did you have a Nike tick?

Tommy: Oh no, no, I just had studs and then diamonds.

Josh: Diamonds that were fake. So it's so pov, isn't it?

Tommy: It's so shit. It's so dumb. So what do you reckon, get your earpiece next week, mate?

Mason: No, no, no.

Tommy: Why not? How do you know? How do you know you won't like it?

Mason: Nah, I just, I just don't want to stick a thing through my ear and I don't want to wear earrings.

Josh: Alex, what do you think he should get done if he was to get something done?

Jess: What about nose?

Mason: Oh, not a nose.

Josh: Why not?

Tommy: Can I look cute? I think you would look kind of cute.

Mason: What about, what about a—

Josh: oh no, no, no, no, he's describing like a pig sort of snout thing.

Jess: Septum?

Josh: Septum?

Tommy: Oh yeah, yeah, the septum feels like shit goes wrong with septums. Septum.

Mason: Anyway, you can, you can get a piercing on the head or tip of your penis, the foreskin, uh, or the scrotum.

Tommy: Thanks for outlining your options for next week, but, um, which one are you choosing if you had to?

Jess: Scrotum.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Why is that? What is your rationale behind the scrote?

Mason: Less movement compared to everything else. Okay, it's more stagnant. Otherwise you can't go—

Tommy: foreskin would move too much with the friction you have it on, have on it weekly.

Josh: So much movement. It's—

Tommy: yeah, it's crazy. Someone asked actually about how you are today, um, just about your love life and stuff.

Josh: So I'm trying to—

Tommy: it's Lisa, my friend. Yeah.

Josh: Oh yeah.

Tommy: Yeah, she's curious. So any update?

Mason: No, not really.

Tommy: No, that's all good. I just thought 600, maybe big show, you could actually give it some sort of something more than, nah, not really.

Jess: At the bushfire, I told Mr. 97 that I had somebody.

Josh: At the relief bushfire.

Jess: Sorry, bushfire relief. I had somebody I wanted to introduce him to, but I have showed him and I have talked him up, but she's a little bit worried about your age.

Josh: Oh really? How old is she? 25.

Tommy: Okay, how old are you, Steph?

Mason: 20. 20, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: My wife's 3 years older than me. 2 years.

Jess: Oh, I still talked him up, but she was like, oh no. I'm like, you sure?

Tommy: Can you go back to her and say he has a scrotum ring? What do you reckon? And see what happens.

Josh: I wonder how much that would change your attitude, getting a scrotum ring.

Tommy: Real confidence.

Josh: Just, he all of a sudden gets a standing desk, only stands. You need it for a little while.

Mason: I was actually thinking about getting just moving the standing desk down here.

Josh: Really?

Mason: Yeah, but I don't know if you'll fit.

Josh: It's actually surprising that you haven't gotten into standing sooner.

Mason: Because standing— sitting's the new cancer.

Josh: Yes, that, but also, um, I mean, cancer's cancer.

Tommy: Sitting— yeah, I think it's not substituting cancer for sitting.

Josh: What you actually meant is, um, sitting is the new smoking. Yeah, which causes cancer.

Mason: Yeah, just one step removed.

Josh: Sitting—

Tommy: yeah. Cancer's the result of the thing, but I see the connection.

Josh: We're not cancer specialists, we don't know.

Tommy: Ryan John's girlfriend is though.

Josh: Yeah, and she makes beautiful wine.

Tommy: So I'm pretty hungry. I mean, it's sort of late in the afternoon here in Melbourne.

Josh: It is 5:39 PM. Anyone on the live chat before we go to—

Mason: Yeah, we got a message from Grace. Love the new series, boys.

Jess: Thank you, Grace.

Mason: Thank you, the AK Podcast. Cheers to 600 boys. Callum, happy 600.

Josh: Thank you.

Mason: And Joseph, happy 600.

Josh: Thanks, Joseph. Is that all coming through YouTube? YouTube, yeah, because Facebook has—

Mason: Blahj joined.

Josh: It's my one mate I've got on Facebook. Hey Blahj, we're hungry.

Tommy: Alex, you've done some baking as the show baker. Obviously that's, that's your— that's what you do, that's where you feel comfy.

Jess: Bit of a mare over the weekend, my oven broke. So as a baker, it's not what you want.

Josh: What sort of oven have you got? What sort of oven?

Jess: It's a fan-forced, so the fan just stopped working. So it was very important.

Josh: How important is the fan?

Jess: Very important. It's a fan-forced. Yes. So it just doesn't work. So my dad's fixing it at the moment. So over the long weekend, I just got really annoyed and I was like, I need to do something. So I made honeycomb. This is the one in the plastic bag that Tommy's holding is a mess, whereas the one in the other container is a little bit more nice.

Josh: How do you make honeycomb?

Jess: Basically honeycomb is just two types of sugar. And bicarb soda. And then the 27-degree weather and me waking up early, yeah, it's kind of a bit messy and it's a bit gross and sticky. But yeah, so it's kind of like—

Josh: that's better than crunchy, mate.

Tommy: That is really, really good. And the chocolate tip.

Jess: Yeah, so the chocolate's like, yeah, fancy chocolate. I think it was like, uh, 60% chocolate. So I want to combat sweetness with the darkness. And then the cookies are honeycomb cookies.

Josh: Oh, bullshit.

Jess: They're a mess. That was my first batch, and they're really good, but that's why they're a mess because they're just full of honeycomb and chocolate. So then I had, yeah, I like got my baking back because then Mum and I, with the leftover honeycomb, we made honeycomb ice cream.

Josh: Oh yeah, do you have an ice cream machine?

Jess: My mum does, and so it's so easy, like just a bit of sugar, eggs, milk, And then we just put in the churner and then you put the honeycomb at the end and there, it was amazing. Au naturel ice cream.

Tommy: Do you want to look at the couch right now? My wife's sitting there, Bodie's lying with his head on her lap and his feet are just on Alex, just loving life.

Jess: First time, he really is loving life.

Tommy: First time you've met Bodie, Alex?

Jess: Yes.

Josh: And look at him, comfy, just super comfy.

Tommy: Bodie, put your feet up a bit more. Enjoy yourself a little bit more. Do you want a cookie, Bodhi? Do you want a cookie? He's going to come over. Oh, we're getting a cameo from my son.

Josh: Here we go. It's like being at the zoo.

Jess: Is it good?

Tommy: Come over here.

Josh: Here we go.

Tommy: Okay, so sorry about the camera, everyone. You want to come up to sit on Daddy's lap?

Mason: Anything for a cookie.

Tommy: Okay, now do you want a bicky?

Josh: Yeah, do you want a big one? It's coming from me.

Tommy: Tell—

Josh: hey, Bodhi, can you tell us Alex made it, but I've given you the biscuit.

Tommy: Can you tell everyone what Josh did before to you? What happened? What did he do? What did I do? What did he do? What did I do?

Josh: Yeah, what'd you do? What did I do? Did you make me cry? Yeah, I screamed at you.

Tommy: Oh, um, there's actually a new— Bodhi's come up with a new segment.

Josh: Telling on Josh. Say it.

Tommy: Say it. The baby talk show.

Josh: He's a real—

Mason: yeah, he's not interested.

Josh: He's a real rat today.

Tommy: It's so annoying when they don't— when they don't do the tricks that they do. It's— you know what he said, Bodhi? Do you know what you said to me when I picked you up today? He said, I'm so glad you're here, Daddy.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Where's that cute shit for the camera?

Josh: Yeah, and he said the baby talk show off air, and he said the baby talk show, and then you just want him to repeat it.

Tommy: It's all I ask for. That's all, that's all we ask for.

Josh: Can you get angry at that stuff?

Tommy: At him doing that kind of stuff?

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: When, when does he, when does he owe you something, do you think? When do kids owe you something?

Tommy: From the moment they come out, they're just in debt to us.

Josh: So when do they start repaying the debt?

Tommy: I mean, do you think about that? If he gets famous by 15 like Justin Bieber and starts making a lot of money So be it.

Josh: What do you think you'd become famous doing?

Tommy: Um, parkour, could be some sort of like adventure bike sport, or, um, I mean, he's a big bruiser, so it could be, could be rugby.

Josh: Jackass. If Jackass became a thing, could you imagine?

Tommy: I'd be cut. Would you? You'd be cut. I'd be cut if he just going to Jackass. If he was on, if he was like Johnny Knoxville and it actually created a movement around this stunt thing.

Josh: So you just don't want him to be Johnny Knoxville's mate that's getting paid part-time?

Tommy: What about all the Johnny Knoxvilles, all the wannabe stuntsters?

Jess: They're dead.

Tommy: That have just stapled their nuts to the—

Josh: you know, nut talk today, isn't there?

Tommy: Yeah, that's what Steve-O did a lot. He did all that kind of stuff. But think about it, if you've never been paid for that, it's only good in when you start making money, like, well, I actually get paid to be a jackass.

Josh: Well, Steve-O talks about going, um, doing VHS tapes or whatever, sending it to MTV and all the different networks.

Tommy: Well, the closest thing is now people on YouTube jumping off roofs, prank videos. I mean, it is something like— Amy and I, when we're watching Taylor's documentary—

Josh: how good is it, by the way? We haven't spoken about it, have we? Like, as in you and I?

Tommy: Oh, just on the show?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Uh, yes, great, mate. We're gonna have that conversation now.

Mason: I thought you did talk about it.

Tommy: No, we didn't have—

Josh: what was the conversation?

Tommy: Oh, we just talked a bunch about it, but Amy and I were saying like, imagine that being your kid, like when, when she was so young, like being— that becoming your job to just hang out with your kid. And, um, yeah, because that is—

Josh: there is a bit where they sort of go into Tay Tay's house, or sorry, Tay Tay's parents' house. You're like, okay, well, Tay Tay's clearly looked after them.

Tommy: I said that. Amy said she's from a rich family.

Josh: Oh really?

Tommy: Look it up. Rich family Taylor Swift. Which I think takes away slightly from the narrative that you were forming around her because I did the exact same thing. Look at her, she's looked after her parents. And, um, but just know she was just rich all along.

Josh: I mean, but that doesn't take away from all the skill.

Tommy: No, I think that's— a lot of people love to throw that out. Lana Del Rey is from a wealthy family and they Who is she? Huge, um, singer. It's huge. Yeah, uh, chick from America, but she did it like she had a style and then they completely rebranded her and then she blew up as Lana Del Rey. They spent a lot of money, I think.

Josh: That's like Katy Perry. Like Katy Perry, I don't know, like obviously her parents were at a church and all that sort of thing, um, but she went through a bunch of rebrands before she finally sort of found her own voice. Um, one thing I want to bring forward as a possibility of 2020, a rule that I want to put into place or something that I want to get going— I want to get rid of group messaging.

Tommy: Um, what do we do? When are we doing it?

Josh: Anytime I get a group message, it's annoying.

Tommy: So this is just with friends?

Mason: I always send them.

Josh: Who do I send group messages with?

Mason: Our Slack.

Josh: Oh, that's huge.

Tommy: Are you talking personal?

Josh: For instance, um, uh, Gem, uh, Queen Gronkh, set up a great group message. I say great because we love Gem, and it was around getting out and about to a nightclub, which you'd mentioned. You talked about, I really want to go to this nightclub.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: And so she creates a group with me, you, 97, Tully and Pete, and everyone at the start's like, yeah boys, let's get around it, this— woof woof, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is great. Anyway, then 2 weeks ago, I don't really say anything because I'm like, I'm just going to show up wherever it's— I don't need to be involved in the rah-rah. Anyway, I then call, uh, Gem yesterday and she's like, ah, nice of you to call. I was like, okay, uh, yeah, like, you don't want to sound— when someone's being like that, you don't want to sound defensive because you sound like a baby. You like sort of push back. I was like, oh, what? It's like, ah. And because I sort of knew, I was like, ah, I'm sure this is about the, the group chat. And she was like, um, you know, you just— I just got ignored from all of you at the end with the group chat. Like you'd all seen it. And I was just sitting there and I was like, I even sent a follow-up. And so, and I said, well, like, in all fairness, like, clubbing isn't my thing. Like, is it really my job to be keeping the group message going? And she sort of believed that because I was involved, I should have at least said something. I mean, I don't want to be a part of that.

Tommy: I think it's, yeah. I think it's the same thing we've worked out.

Josh: But don't you think you should have— you're the club guy. But why?

Tommy: I never came up with the idea. I didn't create the fucking group message. It's on the onus. It's on the onus of the person who creates the group message if they want to keep it going.

Josh: But she said, hey guys, what are we doing? And everyone— no one wrote back.

Tommy: You've worked out that everyone's vacated the room and left their name tags in there.

Josh: Is that potentially a little bit rude?

Tommy: From who?

Josh: From everyone in the group. Like, if you start a group chat, you start talking, and everyone just stops talking I think it's so common that this happens.

Tommy: I've been in heaps of group chats where it just fizzles out. Everyone's like over it. And you said the best is, the best is the WhatsApp message. The WhatsApp, old mates left the group.

Josh: You see people actually, are people cleaning up, they're like cleansing their group?

Tommy: You can, you can leave a group in WhatsApp and I think it tells you, you know, John's left the group. John, you're a fucking—

Josh: well, Bree's our old boss. Not good with technology. Actually, uh, worked at a company for 10 years.

Tommy: That's a funny thing. Bree's old boss— why is it not good with technology?

Josh: Yeah, old boss in more ways than one. No, never— her boss never, um, had her own email address.

Tommy: What?

Josh: Would use a company email address for everything.

Tommy: And what would a company email address look like?

Josh: Paul at workplace.com.au.

Tommy: Oh, they got it! Paul got an email.

Mason: It's calendars.

Josh: Um, for what?

Mason: Social media.

Josh: Okay, that's like— well, you better get the social media. Did you turn that down? And have we turned it down?

Tommy: And so, um, yeah, so but isn't that quite common? They use a workplace email?

Jess: Or—

Josh: but the boss had no other email address. No Gmail, no Hotmail. And so Bree had been saying for multiple years, she's like, What happens if you leave?

Tommy: Oh, they didn't own the company.

Josh: No, it's not her company.

Tommy: Okay, that's a bit different. Like, because I've left— I've been stupidly using emails from other companies and then left them and then lost everything.

Josh: So, but this is what's happening. But she— that's all she had.

Tommy: Oh no.

Josh: And so she sends a WhatsApp to about 75 people letting them know that she's finished, but she's just put the 75 people in this group. This is an executive that's just got like a great— you look at the contacts, it's like, oh, these are— I might babe, if anything, this is just great contacts to have.

Tommy: Can you see their names?

Josh: Yeah, you see the name.

Tommy: That's amazing.

Josh: And then you're like, oh, you know, great, Simone, that you're, you know, you're leaving. Just so you know, like, everyone can see.

Tommy: Did someone say that?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And then you just—

Josh: and then you see like the group apology, like, oh, sorry everyone. And it's like, oh no, John leaves the conversation. Like, it's a nightmare. Like, the amount of— think about the amount of people who have ruined their, like, life career based on misusing CC or thinking that they're just sending it to one person, but they send it to a whole group and everyone's got the emails.

Tommy: Uh, BCC is an absolute—

Josh: it's a bitch move.

Tommy: It's so—

Josh: it's a bitch carbon copy.

Tommy: Like, really, how— when, when are we using a BCC? Hands up if you used a BCC in the last 2 weeks.

Josh: Yeah, I've used a BCC.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: Alexandra.

Josh: From what?

Tommy: Our Amy.

Josh: From our old, um—

Tommy: turns out, imagine if Amy was a BCC queen. Yeah.

Jess: I think I've done it out of spite.

Josh: That's the only reason you BCC people.

Jess: But not in the last 2 weeks, but I think I've done it once or twice.

Josh: When we emailed our old client, sorry, our old accountant to say, hey, no longer need your services, BCC'd the new accountant. Real bitch move. Can we just say, so I want to, I'm trying to be funny. If you haven't noticed.

Tommy: I didn't do it, but I love it.

Josh: And then the new accountant in a real bitch move said, thanks, Josh, like sent me an email being like, hey mate, glad it all got sorted. Uh, on the— some people might find something jarring that I've been saying lately.

Tommy: What is it?

Josh: I've been using the B word, bitch, a lot.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Now my view on the word bitch, I stopped using it for a decent portion of time, and then you started hanging out with me. Yeah, no, but, but we got called progressive today, bitch, before. No, woke. We got called woke, which if someone says you're woke, I think they're taking the piss potentially. But anyway, no, so, um, my thing— you've called me a little bitch before.

Tommy: I'll never use it towards women.

Josh: Yeah, and so that's, that's the whole thing.

Tommy: I, uh, I might have called Abby a bitch before.

Jess: Really?

Tommy: We should have.

Josh: And so, so the thing is, it was just the moment. It's like, I know, um, my friend Cyan hates the word. Like, I've heard someone say, even a woman calling another woman a bitch, cyan, not fucking happy about it, right? However, I feel that let's reframe the word. Let's— and so I'm actually using bitch to describe more masculine things as well.

Tommy: So that's it. I, I find it's got the best cut through.

Josh: Yeah, it's so enjoyable. What do you think, Seb? Do you think I should retire or lean in on bitch?

Mason: It's got real cut-through.

Tommy: It does.

Mason: Yeah, keep it.

Josh: Yeah, you'd be a bitch to say anything else.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. As he readjusted his scrotum ring. This is no bitch move over here. Um, so, and were you—

Josh: but let me know what you think. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Yeah, are you triggered every time I say bitch?

Tommy: I think there's If you follow like comedians online, they use it in a— there's a lot that I listen to that are using it very effectively in moments, and it has like— and you're laughing about it. They're not, they're not just trying to insult somebody.

Josh: Yeah, well, we even— we've got a transcription tool, and so, um, every time we do an episode, we get a word cloud.

Tommy: Oh yeah, so you see what was the most common used or phrases that we use the most.

Mason: Bitch.

Josh: Well, that was 9 times.

Mason: 9 times.

Tommy: Well, I think it picks it up.

Mason: So, so yeah, well, when you say it, it's got cut through. Yeah. Even for AI.

Josh: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Whoever's sitting there doing the transcription just winces every time they say it.

Tommy: Either way, there's, there's words that will come and go over time.

Josh: But maybe I should retire it if you think it's inappropriate. If you think I've, I've mistaken my narrative. If you think that my narrative around the word is incorrect. Let me know.

Mason: Callum loves it. He says it's good. It wakes me up.

Josh: Yeah, it does. You'd be a bitch if it didn't.

Tommy: He's still just trying to get him out.

Mason: Grace says, I always get ignored in my group chats.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Yeah, it's common. It's common. What are you doing?

Josh: I mean, bitch move from your friend.

Mason: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Grace, what's going on? Is it something you've said? Is it you trying to organise something that they don't want to be a part of? I mean, when do you get the message?

Mason: But do we—

Tommy: no message is the message, maybe.

Josh: Not saying for you, Grace, but I just think that this is the problem is—

Mason: but do you still want to be a part of it, the group message?

Josh: I'll be pissed if I'm not included. Yeah, yeah, but I'll mute them. No, I think in all seriousness, it'd make me feel more comfortable if we just don't have them.

Tommy: I don't think that's— the thing is, it's actually out of our control because if someone just decides to create a group message and invite you into it.

Josh: Jordan Michaelides created the group, PDTS Lads.

Tommy: Uh, first of all, there's a T.

Josh: Oh yeah, he did DT.

Tommy: That's— yeah, I think I just responded once.

Josh: But yeah, yeah, but I, I like that. The thing is, I like it, but it's interesting because he sort of— I felt labelled all of a sudden. It's like, your, your group has been labeled.

Tommy: There is a pressure. Conspiracy Jimmy has invited me to a a group Telegram chat. It's just an encrypted messaging service.

Josh: And what are you guys sending each other?

Tommy: Kanye West links, you know, funny Trump memes. I don't know, just random shit.

Josh: But he likes— Conspiracy Jimmy likes Trump.

Tommy: He likes a good Trump meme, likes a good Trump laugh. Anyway, he, um, invited us with another guy, but I feel the pressure. He loves to keep it going, send more Kanye West links. Said more Kanye conspiracies, you know.

Josh: What's a Kanye conspiracy?

Tommy: Oh, it's not really a conspiracy, it's just his music that is being leaked is him. They reckon it's him, and he's got a— I think it's, it, it, it stands up. It's, um, Kanye's old music was signed to a different record label and now he's with a new one, so he might not be allowed to release it, and so he's leaking it. So then it's like, it's out there. It helps his breath. I mean, he's—

Josh: yeah. Have you, um, have you seen that Justin Bieber is going in an oxygen tank?

Tommy: For what?

Josh: For his mental health.

Mason: Hyperbaric chamber.

Tommy: That's good. Is that meant to help with mental health?

Josh: Yeah, he fucking— it was amazing. He goes in, he's depressed, he comes out, he's like, I'm ready.

Tommy: Really? Yeah, his body's got more oxygen, feels better.

Josh: I thought it was so cool. It looks claustrophobic in there, but that's in his—

Tommy: where he's— it looks like he's in a bag.

Josh: Yeah, it's a blue— his head's popping out the top of the thing. Yeah, so his body's No, no, no, but he goes in, it seals it completely up.

Jess: Oh wow.

Josh: How are you getting the oxygen if your head's outside it?

Tommy: There's more— there's oxygen outside. I thought it just could have been for his body and his limbs.

Josh: No, so there's oxygen everywhere. Yeah, I get it.

Tommy: Unless you hold your breath.

Josh: In the moon, is there oxygen on the moon?

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Josh: Is there any oxygen on the moon?

Tommy: I don't think so. That's why they wear the masks with oxygen.

Josh: Is there any connection between oxygen and gravity?

Tommy: The scary thing about the moon stuff is like, whether you believe it or not, the landing on the moon— what if he just sort of floated off? Have you seen Gravity? Yeah, Sandra Bullock. Oh my God, floating through the bloody atmosphere. That is scary.

Josh: Well, Seb's watched a film, 15 Minutes. What is it called?

Mason: Ah, maybe Last Breath. It's, it's, it's so full-on. So there's this, there's this diver and it's like deep, real deep sea diving.

Josh: Him describing this is similar, similar nature to these dreams, but go on.

Mason: No, but they're super deep sea diving and they're going down there to, uh, like oil drills and stuff. They're doing like maintenance and repairs and stuff. And so he's got this one sort of cable that attaches him back up to the ship on the surface of the water, and he's like super, super deep. And there's super rough weather up the top, and the boat's being pulled further and further away, and it's tugging him below the water. And so they're like, we're gonna have to reel you in. And as they're reeling him in, he gets caught on the oil rig that he's fixing or repairing, and it breaks his cable because there's too much tension. And so he's got no oxygen, no electricity, no comms or anything. And he's just—

Josh: It's pitch black.

Mason: It's pitch black. Yeah, no light, nothing. And so, and so he's got—

Tommy: You told me about it.

Mason: 5 minutes of, um, reserve oxygen, but then the people on the surface have no idea where he is and they have to go down and rescue him.

Tommy: I know, I know.

Josh: You tell us that on Netflix.

Mason: It's on Netflix. Yeah, it's great. Intense. They got original footage from all of it.

Tommy: It's amazing. When Amy was telling me about it, I You can, you feel it. Oh yeah, you feel that.

Josh: You need that.

Tommy: Oh, I mean, it's a great moment in history that someone was able to survive that.

Josh: Scary movies, the equivalent of having a pet.

Tommy: What, what way?

Josh: So you have a pet when you fucking, you can feed yourself, you've worked out, okay, I've worked out my showering, I've worked out all that sort of thing, worked out all my—

Tommy: mostly why I get a pet. That's not thinking. Well, why else would you? That's just being alive as an adult.

Josh: But my point is you get a pet because you want a companion. I thought the reason you get a pet is because it's like, I can afford my own groceries now, I'm going to buy groceries for an animal.

Tommy: No wonder you don't want to have kids, dude, if you're looking at it like that.

Josh: You don't think that's how it is?

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Josh: Well, I feel like it's a stretch goal. It's like, okay, like I need a dependent, that type of thing. But anyway, but so I see it as a little bit of the same thing, scary movies. It's all anxiety-inducing. Like, you don't have enough of your own problems.

Tommy: Why do you need that shit in your life? Is that what you're saying?

Josh: No, why I'm saying that people who gravitate to that potentially are like, okay, shit's pretty good at work. I wonder if anyone nearly died today and if they've made a doco on it.

Tommy: Nah. Um, all right, quick one to leave us. What would you rather? Be stranded— no, sorry, be stranded on the moon. So the spaceship takes off, we don't know what's left you there.

Josh: What's the oxygen deal?

Tommy: You've got 3 hours.

Mason: Callum's actually said the moon is a complete vacuum, Josh. Gravity is related to the mass of an object, so the more mass an object has, the more gravity it has. So no, no oxygen.

Tommy: How smart are the Gronks? That was amazing.

Josh: Yeah, Callum's good on Google.

Tommy: Jeez, he's copied and pasted it. Gronk move, he did. I appreciate it. Yeah, really appreciate it. 3 hours of oxygen left and you're on the moon, you're stranded. No understanding of how you could get out of this. 3 hours underwater, pitch black. 3— you don't know how you get out, but you've got oxygen for 3 hours. Which one are you choosing?

Josh: Moon.

Mason: Water.

Tommy: What?

Mason: Definitely.

Josh: No, no, no.

Mason: Why? You swim back up to the top. 3— you got 3 hours of oxygen to swim to the top.

Tommy: But you're at the bottom. You're in a—

Mason: but I reckon, I reckon 3 hours of swimming, you could get Semi-far.

Tommy: Okay, I'm going to switch it up because you tried to outsmart this one. Your boat, you've been snorkelling and your boat has driven off.

Josh: Where is it? Fiji?

Tommy: There's a, there's a film about this too where the boat, they drift scuba diving and then they're in the middle of the ocean. Someone survived a long time. I reckon I like, there's a high chance you're not coming back from the ocean just being, you know, just bobbing along. And, and, and you're like, you're in the water floating, but you know that you can't last forever. And so it's this sort of impending doom.

Mason: So it's would you rather death scenarios.

Josh: Yes, but they're both— you die in both.

Jess: Yeah.

Tommy: Which one?

Josh: Moon.

Tommy: Imagine being the hero that died on the moon.

Mason: Yeah, definitely the moon.

Josh: Here's a death one for you very quickly. I don't want to outdo your one, but you will.

Mason: Good view on the moon as well.

Tommy: If you can see, if you're on the right spot.

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: Is that true?

Tommy: Well, you got to be on the right spot. Yeah.

Mason: If you're on the other side of the moon, what's on the other side?

Josh: Can you see shit?

Tommy: It's like, it's like LA. LA's on the other side of where we are right now.

Josh: But what— oh, you know, so it's all Earth.

Tommy: It's a, it's a big—

Josh: so my point is, is there any section of the moon where you can't see the Earth?

Mason: Yeah, definitely.

Tommy: It'd be most of it, I reckon. So think about what— so we see that—

Josh: that's a good point.

Tommy: So when you're on the moon, but that's what your point was— no, my point is, is that if you're on the other side, you're in—

Josh: you see LA. If you're on the other side, you see—

Tommy: no, no, on the other side you wouldn't. There would be a time when you're not seeing down to Earth because it's a sphere.

Josh: And so you're on the other side, I wonder.

Tommy: Yeah, maybe you see fucking Uranus.

Josh: Find out, says. But so this is the would you rather, Tommy, that I'd like to ask you specifically. Yeah, you have one night left on this Earth.

Jess: Good.

Josh: One night left on this earth. Everyone is like, um, everyone's dead. Uh, you have to pick between one night hanging with Kanye or one night hanging with Taylor Swift.

Tommy: Ah, and then everyone dies. My wife just walked out of the room. Um, which one should I answer, boys? Uh, Kanye West. I'd like to. Okay, I'd like to.

Josh: What about you, Sebs?

Mason: They're probably Tay Tay.

Josh: Absolutely. You're—

Mason: I think—

Tommy: imagine if I said Taylor.

Josh: What?

Mason: Why? What's wrong with hanging out with Taylor?

Josh: I think that she would be— but I think that Kanye would need to set up all electronic music to have time. Like, it's just Tay Tay and her acoustic guitar. I like it.

Tommy: I like, I like.

Mason: Love story.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Who would I prefer? I'd prefer Kanye West singing to me with his music. 100%.

Josh: You would prefer?

Mason: Without autotune.

Tommy: He's a good singer, dude.

Josh: You would prefer?

Tommy: Sing for me! He's a rapper.

Josh: Before you die.

Tommy: That's great. He's great.

Josh: Okay, so you would say Last night on earth, you're hanging with Kanye.

Tommy: Let's add the option of Taylor Swift and Kanye West. That's what I'll pick.

Josh: Miley Cyrus.

Tommy: I'm more of a fan, um, Miley's out there, and I love, um, uh, the, the, um, the song.

Josh: Can she play acoustic guitar?

Tommy: She could. Yeah, definitely, definitely. Part in the USA. I'd go out to that. We're about to die. Last minute of the day, I'd die to that. Don't mind that. Or die to Chick-fil-A. Can't you wear something? Anyway, that's it. I mean, it's complicated.

Josh: Thank you everyone for watching and listening to the last 600 episodes.

Tommy: Yeah, this has just been a bit of a fun one. We thank you, Alex, for baking some treats.

Jess: You're welcome.

Josh: I feel like I'm going to have to get some, um, what's it called when they fix your teeth?

Jess: Can I answer the last night?

Josh: What was that?

Jess: Last night on earth question?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Jess: Can I— one question— if I hang out with Kanye, can I hang out with the Kardashians, or is it just Kanye?

Mason: Just Kanye.

Jess: Nah, Taylor Swift.

Josh: Yeah, there you go. Yeah, no, I think that there's— it's a good point, and you didn't ask that question.

Tommy: No, I think everyone tries to complicate these fucking would you rather. Mr. 97, yeah, but you could shrink to defend.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, well, you gotta specify if it's a death would you rather or if there's a chance of survival would you rather.

Tommy: Look, I just left it out there.

Josh: And so, Seb, what's happening?

Mason: Oh, well, okay, well, so Sean says the moon doesn't rotate in relation to the Earth, so one side is always facing away. And Callum said you'd just be looking further out into space, you wouldn't see the Earth.

Tommy: We've got scientists just on our page.

Mason: Grace says we should start a space club.

Josh: Yes, astronomy. Astronomy, yeah, and a bit of astrology, just to mixing two sciences. Yeah. That's actually really funny. Right, uh, it's The Daily Talk Show. If you, um, if you haven't listened to Jase and PJ, you should listen today because we're on at the start.

Tommy: Oh yeah, and if you want to listen to their episodes individually, just search Jase Hawkins The Daily Talk Show and it'll come up. Oh yeah, or PJ Harding The Daily Talk Show and it'll come up too. Two great episodes. All right, they're awesome.

Josh: Tomorrow we're at Ventura IP.

Tommy: Yeah, Fat Fridays, baby.

Josh: Can we announce what we're eating?

Tommy: No, let's save it for the show. They are putting in and they've requested—

Mason: I was gonna say we could announce.

Tommy: No, but they've left a specific— they sent us a specific list of, uh, something we could order. And so Mr. 97 has done a bit of a— I'll order for you boys. I thought it'd be nice to just do it. Good to hold on.

Josh: You're doing a lot of surprising and holding on. Is that a—

Tommy: it's called fucking Lead through tomorrow.

Mason: Do you have any more?

Tommy: We have a show for your adventure club today. Okay, there'll be one tomorrow. So tomorrow there's a lot coming.

Josh: Could we not at least do one today? Can we do like one adventure thing or like, or the food thing today?

Tommy: There's no point.

Josh: Why no point?

Tommy: Because tomorrow is a new day. We do so many of these episodes. Come back tomorrow.

Josh: Okay, it's a daily talk show. Uh, hi@thedailytalkshow.com, bitch. Should it, uh, should it be a thing?

Mason: Yay or nay?

Josh: Yay or nay on the bitch? Anything else, Sez, before we go?

Tommy: Would you rather?

Mason: Calum says, boys, this is going to be a current, uh, common occurrence, the live streams. Feels like I have friends now. Cheers for all the great content, you guys are awesome.

Josh: He's actually coming from the moon.

Tommy: He's actually live from the moon or the bottom of the ocean. 3 hours to go. He's coming back tomorrow.

Josh: It's a daily talk show. Have a good one, guys.

Jess: See you guys.