#598 – We’re Annoyed/
- February 4, 2020
We chat about why Josh is a bit irritated, working with your partner in a relationship, and our company-wide calendar.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Being irritated
– Bringing kids to meetings
– Josh’s company wide-calendar
– Not mentioning who you’re bringing along
– Working with each other in a relationship
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Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
The Daily Talk Show Episode 598 Happy Tuesday guys, what's going on? It's a light one for us. We're just gonna throw Have you heard of that meta cognition? Yeah, yours is quite low at the moment. So metacognition is the I think it's the process of thinking about you think here nailing irritable, a new thinking about you thinking, well, now I'm feeling irritable. And I feel like metacognitively I realised that. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's just I mean, that's the same as being mindful again, I but what is what is medical, becoming aware of those unconscious states of mind? So you're, it's great because you, you sort of lean into the annoyance just naturally. And then you're like, hang on, I'm annoyed and it's amazing that you can think about how you feeling anxious or annoyed
But still lean into a completely feeling anxious and annoyed, but also be going, Oh my God look like I look at it, I can feel it in the stomach region as well. You can be totally
me you can just be sort of so sort of like zoomed out looking at this sort of hot mess because if you look at it, you're like, I surely 97 isn't as annoying
like that, the squeaking of the desk and the squeaking of the door. Oh, that wasn't even like I was fixing that fee. You should be grateful for that.
You know, so what is it? What is the antidote to when you are in a moment of your trouble? What's what is the antidote? Is it gratitude? Like, is it I mean, you
know, I think there is a ground and pound
there's the walking I think going for a wall. Yeah. annoying thing is I was very feeling irritable. So I went for a walk but then I went to the post office.
Post Office very night Why just a lot of people big line and just it's what's crazy also is when you when you're in the spiral and you know you're in the spa and you can't get out of the irritable spot, it's it's this is their life Why is reliable or is there a place for if you're feeling irritable not to go back to Justin Bieber. But in his documentary, there's a bit where he's like, rGc his wife is so good, like, you know, puts up she puts up with a fair bit from young Justin. Yeah, is is that acceptable? Can you be annoying? Can you can you have moods? Are we accepting that I think what you can accept is that it's going to happen and it will continue to happen. But I don't think you have to accept.
It's a trap. It's a trap. So it's a spiral. Like, if you're not, you know, observing it, what I caught up in it, can you sleep in a while but if you observe it, and then continue
Is that just as bad as that worse if you know it's happening, but you still do it?
Yeah, I mean, think for if in your case you do it quite often you get matter on your thinking on your state.
It's it's probably just as bad if you are always feeling it. And of not acknowledging it, but still letting it continually continuously happen. This, there's a there's another step to this is it has to be another step to it. So, yeah, I mean, sometimes you just get a rod of that, like I do it. And in relationships, it's, it's so easy to do, because when you got someone close to you, like, you know, your partner braids, like he can be annoyed. It's like, it's going to happen with a red wine, like a glass of red. Would that help make me more irritable? I it probably help. It's an anti anxiety medication. It's not a medication. Yeah, people medicate with it. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I definitely
had to be last night as well saves saves doesn't feel like a guy that gets very irritable. Do you know I
know. She got a bit pissed off on the weekend off not even irritable.
Why do you get so the problem was I, I put as I was doing my washing and I put a black t shirt. So I just I just thought all of it in and I've just got these few clothes that I came out like my black jeans and a black t shirt. But my black t shirt has been washed and I like 12 to 15 times and some just say I should be fine now. Yeah. And so I put it in with all of my clothes. And I took my clothes out after the end of the wash and my light coloured shorts had been stained with some brandy, dirty sort of ink. Many only thing that changes white t shirt. So as I was feeling that I put that in there and because I thought I'm saying I should probably shouldn't put that in there. Yeah, so you're annoyed at yourself. How long does that last for you? What Nike so I kept going and so then
I was I was going on a walk and I couldn't find like my more running shorts or whatever. And so when they By the way, one so I built up this great story us like bloody dad. He's like warn them again. Yeah, it always happens to me I can't even find socks during the spar and then but not but then you're in the thing. Like you're in your head telling yourself Yeah, that's a great story. Yeah. wearing his t shirt, which is pretty funny. But you still you still thinking like, are you like, Great story, but then you disregard that, but they're under my bed. Yeah, I think the you dead put them there.
I put them definitely. Yeah, the spiral makes you a great storyteller to serve the continuous spiral. That's the problem. I couldn't find my book on the weekend. You're not listening. Bring it put it away in the white section of our bookshelf. But I'm like, I have a real thing. Bree obviously likes to be organised and I leave things around but I leave them around with the idea that I'm going to use them
Put that putting them back on the spot. And so my biggest concern in life is I can never find where anything is. Imagine like living
at a house where you put things down as soon as you put it down, someone like goes and
gets put back. Like putting back assumes that we have a defined place that it goes and that a book and a shelf bookshelf. But if you're reading a book as well, bedside if it's one book, that was my site, it should have been at the end so breeze like art must have been left at your office. Okay, that was like I didn't know about that. But I held myself back because I might if it's at the office, I don't want to get annoyed because of the office then it's like Haha, she didn't even know she put it back. She we know she was like looking. Yeah, she was we're looking for I'm like, I swear I had it here and she's like, not you've obviously left it. I'm gonna like I'm gonna go through every book and I went through. Now it's like you're not listening. I found it. Mike. I knew it and saw it.
old man thing to complain about today we were on a shoot that was quite funny. Did you appreciate the friendliness with
the stylist thought that I had dad tendencies bet which is which is an in joke, which she didn't know it was an issue which makes it even funny itali when we were in LA Yeah, she just came out with it. It's like, God, you like dat you like a dad? Which was sorry, fine. It's and I mean walking to the post office is quite all there
something something we just I love it. I love it. It's so good. Yeah, but it has had a little bit of cutthroat but ya know just so you might have to sort of drive the shocks. I can't be fun.
What do you got?
when I so barely fact me, the kid. I work out last night. And see this is a bit like you're boring about the fucking book is I'm worried about an extra person in my bed.
That I why copy created true true that it's more impressive than your bookshelf
that bookshelf together
my bro came around to do that. Yeah, there you have to be careful. Like when Harry happy Harry stated that place slightly worried that would wake up in the middle of the night to a douche is it's not mounted anywhere like so there is a potential of the whole books Fresnel yes oh yeah there's little sort of things that you can screw into the wall but you don't want to screw that. And so he's been this way so bowties been sleeping in your bed well it's only like come 3am 3:30am 4am sort of like probably three onwards and he doesn't most mornings he gets out of his bed because he can Xena caught is in a court still hoons into our room. And then I usually wake up when he because it's such a sweet sound like the door opening at the at that room.
Really mourning period and like ice coming. And then we have a little cuddle. Sometimes he tells me he loves me. It's beautiful. It's like so sweet. And this morning I woke up and I didn't know I didn't. I must have been so tired or something that I didn't wake up whatsoever. Anyways, next to me, he's fucking kicking me. It was so annoying. I would have preferred the just to having to find a book at that point. But at nights It was lovely. But no, I was thinking. Bodie. I had a meeting in Sydney when I was there over Christmas period, where I took Bodie, but I didn't tell the person that I was bringing Bodie.
Do you think it's okay with kids like, and it's like, you can't do that with that debate on the calendar invite. Yeah.
Yeah, can we say remember Jason?
Big Bay at the daily talk? show.com. Yeah, I want to bring kids
Now I don't think it's a good idea. Like my brother Jake popped in on Sunday to put together another book. And now he was just like kind of pop in and I just had I just had a cold shower because of me. Because I was I spoke to you before because I
was a CSV file or know what was it? I was dealing with something that was irritating me. I've been very irritated. I've been happy but very hard. You know, like the title of this show is aracite is add 00 dad's got my show.
Now, why did I have I told you I was Yeah, I know. I know why it was it slightly. It had something to do with YouTube.
I know. So my calendar, everything that I everything that I put in my calendar would be sent to everyone. And so in the corporation in the business and so brief dermatologist you guys know about when I
Brain I had a dinner on Saturday night, which ended up being a Brits. No, no. Just very quickly on that this is also irritating a PR person reaches out when this is like two weeks ago, which I'm not I don't get into the rah rah that much as I get this email, I didn't really look into it. They came out again. And they like, hey, the first email was basically like, I represent a restaurant would like to invite you to the restaurant, you get 200 bucks and just do a post about it. And I was like, I didn't know what it or whatever. Just highly Well, I just hadn't thought about it. Like it wasn't really on my radar, but they followed up and I was like, embrace sometimes looks at my email. And she's like, Oh, this is like, why don't you write back? I was like, okay, would you go and show that? Yes, it's fun. And so I wrote back and I said, Oh, yes, first affair would be great. Can you lock it in? didn't hear anything, but bright you had put attentively in our calendar. And I followed up with the PR person never got back in so I'm not gonna fucking rock rock up to a rescue
expecting a free thing and not having it all clear but but you rock up the rod and Gannon Yeah, that didn't have demand as soon as
I did I did get the boys
but it was in the calendar. Yes. And so you sent me an annoying message which was your Apple Maps on your car play hang on just annoying for you or for me both
Well, I plug my phone in because we want to go for a drive and instantly pushes whatever that was in my calendar up on to my the restaurant by
JJ Embry Dina
mate Sorry, I'm running a bit late. I just sent that photo which is fucking piss me off.
it's annoying. Because I might we're not gonna we're not going out to dinner because we heard from the payoff. I thought you'd be there and you'd be like beating
So I'm just at home just because they've never wrote back whatever.
But then so the reason I had to have a cold shower on Sunday was because I couldn't work out why my calendar was appearing right and so the story that I had created right or wrong was the only person to fuck with my calendar was 97 and I got to eight I get these two emails like three weeks ago these two emails
big media companies shared this calendar big media company shared that calendar as I says what is what's the deal with they see nothing You called me and I was out on a walk and I was usually so I call him I never like IT services normally very good. Right very good at taking my calls and just like just any hour
but there's a little bit of chewed of like, Hey, man, oh, yeah, I'm just walking with my mom cuz Yeah, sort of Sunday, the weekend.
I'm like, Alright, that's fine. It looks like I'm gonna have to work this fucking thing out on my own.
You get a lead into it. The UN has awakened. Yeah, yeah, he's testing he's saying the scenario mindset been a cup of complete right off with my calendar. And so now I'm very grateful with life, whatever.
I was trying to figure out what it was and so Bray was very supportive because I was just like
what are you doing? I'm I can't work this out so that let me help.
What do you know about Jace? Wait,
I can't even like, the thing is none of us can help because we don't know what the fuck 97
it's like Why don't you ask him like it with his mom. His mom got dope shit on her phone.
Just do you know shoot on your father's carrying your poo bag in the same hand as
you can Who?
He's dealing with that and so I'm like yeah, I've got to do something. So I worked out what it was it ended Bray was like maybe its spark which is the email client as like it's not sparking right now light on like it was spicy I think it's actually one of your pet peeves of anyone troubleshooting from the outside to you? Because I think you're very competent at working shit out tech wise. I think Yeah, my go to is anyone that's trying to help from a troubleshooting point of view. It's like stay in your lane.
I just want to help with you.
Yes, I have you tried. Maybe I'm just googling like someone says to do I might pay that fucking
we're on G sweet anyway, but it was I was way more calm than that. But I'd sort of bottled all up I worked it out which was good, but I needed to have a cold shower. So I had a cold shower and
My brother Jake had messaged and said Can Can I pop around? decided I'm just around the corner he doesn't have it doesn't he? Sometimes Yeah, I think I've been sort of on the phone to Jake's popping in yeah if he's a rally or whatever
to the burbs say it's nice that he's
been painting was like because he does like resin flooring does all those if we ever want to get polished concrete, polished concrete, right? He can do that for love that
was like oh yeah, that's so cool. Anyway,
I'm having a shower. And I'm just like, Sunday, because it's just been a bit anxious and awesome and just like not saying anyone, like just sort of a bit sort of insular. And then as I'm driving,
I hear another voice outside of JP. It turns out that Jake had brought
a girl with him.
But he hadn't told me
Didn't say he didn't say hi I was bringing my friend so it's almost a little bit like the whole body thing and so but he's my spawn yeah and so I had a bit of it I had a situation where
I had dried myself enough you note in the in the toilet in the bathroom smaller so I
did you take your clothes in there like is your bathroom leads on to pretty much
so I had to close I was just like I just sort of break things back yeah
Taylor Swift playing on the Google Home in the bathroom and
and I just sat there and I was like okay now I've got a choice
the blow this shit up by saying texting brace and not gum coming out
which leaves brain in a comfortable position. And also Jake and then also potentially if this girl is he's got a girlfriend is like early stages, whatever. If it is something
It seems like a pretty mean spirited thing to do the first time you introducing the girl that you're dating, I'm going to be hidden in her bathroom, so I'm not coming out. And so I just took a breath and then just walked out and said, Hi, hi, how are you going? Was it so? This is good because I didn't get to ask the person that I took a long to say but I didn't get asked them was that like I didn't really think what was I going to say? Exactly? They're not gonna say it to me especially how so now I've got an opportunity to understand how you felt about it first versus how it ended up being was it All good? It was all good. The thing it may be Jake recognise it is if he told me that Sam was there I would have said maybe another time. So he knew so you so potentially or maybe it's just that's just as a story. And so the other story is that he just like he's got the person there because we're so it turns out the painting the Dan was
Date one of those like sitting down. Yeah. Painting together. That's it. Ryan. Did that race I asked. I was like is Ryan was Ryan that was on the same day different place. Yeah. And and so that's the story that I told was he was painting on a work site and he was just coming back. Yeah. But turns out it was a painting for a date. And then so I
Bray, but it was like I tell you, obviously, like, didn't want them to hang around for too long. And I was like, why do you say she's like, because you said right, like, pretty soon when he said, so where are you guys going for dinner?
Very, very open. In sort of how you sort of are in situation without saying it. Well, Bray, I think that this is a very dead move. I've gotten comfortable with like, someone's over. If I'm done. I'm off to bed, guys. Yeah. I agree with that.
Pig. So I walk the one. It's like it's almost
nearly like going to bed where they're all hanging out. And so I think that's okay. Because I do the same thing. Like Amy's had friends over I go to bed. I'm just like, Look I'm tired. I've got nothing to add to this. Yeah, is that ok saves because I mean you don't Yeah, dude. You got a bit yeah
I don't think no out pretty light with your parents and they've got family friends that you hang out for ages just chatting.
Yeah, but yeah, but that's that was like very occasional. But yeah i mean if I'm not interested in the conversation I'm got a bit yeah it's Janssen still on the interface Now as I mentioned anything No one's mentioned anything that I go because I
think it's some it's fine because I might are well what else is the option so I think that it all worked out it was fine The thing is that I like I had a choice of the
welcoming and nice. Or just being in my own head? Of course, I think. But But I have in my life when I was younger, I've picked up the other option blowing, which is just blowing up or just being like, I'm not coming out. Yeah. And then it puts everyone in a uncomfortable position. Yeah, I think you pick the old man approach, but it's far. The thing is you? How silly does it seem when you look at it from a zoomed out approach. The thing though, is that
it's hard to get away completely from, though that initial response or that feeling, because I know I know that I know the feeling. But it's then just how you how you deal with it. And so the annoying thing is, I don't know how many times that will that that could happen and you'll be annoyed every single time and there's not much that it's going to change it because it could annoy you. But you'd have to almost like lean into this annoyance to get through it to
Get to the other side of it. What feels Okay, that was the one so nice on who we had on the show the other day human. I travelled for 100 days together around the world. And he knows people everywhere. And that was what like we didn't argue much. But the one annoyance was human i doing dinner. And then he'd be like, ah, six other people are coming now. And just enjoy. He'd be like, Oh, why don't you want to like, say these people. And so that was always a little bit of friction, or if he would come to Melbourne. It'd be like, I've only got a short period of time. And so he would do a bit of that batching thing where it's like, guys, you're there plus a few other people and it always ends up being nice. That's the thing. All these things end up being nice. Yeah. There's been a couple of times I remember I went to a party.
It was like a small group. And the person that had just invited Brad said their close friends and we will one of them
So there was a bit of guilt tripping because I said I don't want to go and like I he's only invited he's really close friends so we've got to go and so I was like okay we'll go anyway we go and
hug me somewhat like I just all I remember is like there was a hug slash handshake thing was going on with someone when I went in and it was just a bit of a nightmare like I think I can't remember what happened. I think I went for the hug go hand It was just a fucking wrestling to the point where the guys like oh, let's do that again.
Yeah, let's say that again. And so I just remember like woke up said to Branson never again. Never ever like I was so right about my feeling towards this. Never again.
And so anyway, that's how I'm feeling today. I realised that it's all this is all temporary its own. You know, it's also doesn't
mainsheet does it like it all really is. When you think about I said at the start of the week or last week, it's like, riding the wave across awake. It's like, you can feel so differently day to day. What about like travelling with people like travelling like as couples? Or you gotta find the right people to do that with I've never done it. I've never done it. I've done it before. It's worked both ways. Like sort of sometimes work sometimes hasn't been like, I've never
I've never blown up. It's only ever been just like sitting in my room just with my arms crossed Ben lot. We're gonna go out there that way. Why do why do we get so irritated? Why the people of people just flip like switching? What's regular Sydney thing it's very much like
you could probably connect it back to when you're repeating the exact same thing happening like family friends or whatever pissing you
you all for being annoyed that that person doesn't like I remember, like, you know, travelling with one couple. And the dude was always just so rude
to the chick. And you just sort of want to be like, hey, like, you have to speak like that, but you just can't. And so you just sort of like, and so everyone's just like, sort of looking at each other thing like, oh, we're just allowing this thing to happen. Yeah. Whereas you want to be like, it always seems. Don't you feel that for most couples? I can probably 70% because Brian, I've been together for 12 years. We've had a lot of couple friends and 50% of the time. You only like one of the people in the couple. I think it's pretty rare to be really close with both like jailing really with both. There is I feel like there's always one that you kind of gravitate to. And you just deal with the other. Just want you there, okay.
You never say it. You never, ever say it.
It's like, well, one comes with the other. Yeah.
Peter, then you see the times when it's like they end up breaking up and you're like, thank fuck for that. I mean, you gotta be cautious of talking about the early days because they get back together. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Anyway,
a hole with that one, but why not? at Mr. 97 I think what I'm excited about a relationship with you is that you've got a lot of this ahead where, like, your life and it's your habits collide with another person and you finding your footing so in the relationship, early days, it's like, as you get older, your habits are more sort of ingrained, and your weird little
meal, prepping just all the shit you do my smoothie in the morning, like this. There is some given time because you meet somebody in like, you gotta sort of just slow down
Upon a few, and then instead of judging the other person's ones and what they're doing, you know, it's funny footing is a relationship of like, how can we make our sort of lives work together? And so I'm looking forward to you navigating a lot of content coming.
Because there's a lot of annoyances, you're like, well, she's really annoying that way, but I'm okay with it. Because I really like it. Yeah, and then she's doing the exact same, you know, hey, you're a little weird, you know, and you won't go anywhere else, but I'll need to get you cheap fucking shit. That's really annoying to me. But I love it. But there's also things that just like a little things can be so triggering. My little thing is like, what am I having dinner embrace that Nick, can you just get a sparkling water
that's gonna do it anyway. But now that you've asked, you've taken any any possible job that I can have, you have to ask and I was going to do it and so now I'm just doing what I'm told.
Anyway, I realised
I'm very, very lucky that Bray puts up with me yeah and
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