Talking About Your Thoughts

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 533.

Tommy: The shop's open. How are we?

Josh: Happy Sunday, happy December 1st.

Tommy: Pinch a bunch, first of the month, all that stuff.

Josh: I did that last time.

Tommy: Oh yeah, you're a pinchy guy. That's your vibe.

Josh: Yep. Uh, December starting to look at next year, 2020.

Tommy: We've put our Christmas lights up.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: Yeah. We went to Bunnings last week and we had a voucher. And here's the thing about vouchers. You always end up spending more. Had a $100 voucher.

Josh: You spent $120.

Tommy: Dropped $140.

Josh: $140.

Mason: Wow.

Josh: $40 more.

Tommy: You know how it is. $40. I got all this stuff. That's how you justify this shit.

Josh: Got all on lights.

Tommy: No, no, no, no. Plants, hose, some other bits and bobs.

Josh: What do you get the hose for?

Tommy: Watering the garden. Here's the thing, I never have lived in a house that would require a hose. Lived in one house, two houses that could have had one, but I didn't even give a shit about the place. This place, a bit different now. I need to water my spa.

Josh: Could you lose a bond if you don't keep your plants alive?

Tommy: It depends on what's in the contract. So there's like upkeep and shit.

Josh: Can you look that up? 97%. So if you have a garden and all the plants die?

Tommy: Yeah. Here's the thing. If you're renting a place that has some luscious garden, you're going to have to do some upkeep or the owners are like, oh, here's what. So one of the ladies that we were speaking to about a potential house was telling us that it's actually easier for her to pay the money on her property that she rents out to go and do the gardens to keep it up. Otherwise it's just gronks. Gronks don't let shit go. And so ours is very simple. So we got the hose just for something, you know, just for doing bits and pieces, like nothing much. We'll take it with us to our next place. A lot of selection when you're buying hoses, boys.

Josh: You wouldn't know the retractable.

Mason: Did you get a retractable?

Tommy: No retractable. I don't know how good they are. You can get one.

Josh: Very good.

Mason: I've got one at home. It's pretty good.

Tommy: Yeah, but your parents bought it. Yeah, so there's a price difference, Josh. I'm talking $20 hoses. Oh yeah, to fucking $250.

Mason: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: And you're like, and everything in between.

Josh: One you have for 10 years, one you have for one year.

Tommy: One, one's promising no kinks, like you can't kink, you can't kink me. You cannot kink me. It's not, not the kinky kind of stuff that you're thinking, but it's, that's why you're smirking, smirking. Um, so we went one and got, anyway, we got the Christmas lights, so it's starting to feel like Christmas. I mean, when we were in LA, um, you didn't go back there, but I went, I went for a jog down to the Grove.

Josh: We saw the Grove with Christmas. Oh, but it was a Christmas tree. Yeah, yeah, that was Christmas at this point.

Tommy: No, they'd done more, they'd done more.

Mason: Oh really?

Tommy: Yeah, I don't think we went to the Grove at a certain point, like onwards we didn't go back to it. It was Christmas stuff, Christmas, but they still had the, um, Halloween stuff as well. They'd gotten rid of all the Halloween stuff, so that's October. It's like November, November, yeah, early November. It's going hard. But the, um, few houses around our area— we live in an area, uh, actually it's the suburb next to it, Ivanhoe, a couple away, um, famous for Christmas lights.

Josh: Very famous.

Tommy: The boulevard, the boulevard.

Josh: You basically get in your car and you line up and there's huge— like, I love it because what What do I love?

Tommy: I don't know. Sitting in traffic. Traffic. Oh, yeah.

Josh: And so you like, it's like a summer night or whatever. You have Christmas music going.

Mason: You could walk it.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. So, I went.

Mason: That'd be nice.

Tommy: So, that's what I went, parked a couple of streets away and we walked it only because we didn't want to get stuck in the traffic.

Josh: There is something fun about the traffic, though.

Tommy: One thing I've thought about the traffic since being back is, so when we were away, we'd put into, you know, we didn't know how far somewhere it was in LA to drive, so we'd put it into the Maps and it'd dish up the time, 55 minutes, and then you just stick to that. You're like, ah, if it's over, it is.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But like when you're back home and you know the route in your head and you know the range and you know the range. And so then you're like, I don't know, there's some high level of anxiousness in me when I'm home driving in traffic because over there it's like, we've just got to get— this is how long it takes. Whereas here you're like, nah, I reckon I can get it quicker. I can go down this back street. Oh fuck, it's a bit much, isn't it?

Josh: Yeah, the, uh, last week or at the end of the week you went to the doctors to get the— you were talking about the 10 free sessions or whatever.

Tommy: Yeah, so in Australia you can get subsidised mental health sessions, so through a psychologist. Um, not all places offer it, it's like the bulk billing stuff, not all doctors offer bulk billing. So there's like some of them you get X amount of rebate Um, I mean, it was a bit of a process, a bunch of questions. Like, I could feel it's like the— Mr. 97, you said someone you know went and got rejected at the GP? Yeah, at the GP.

Mason: Yeah, they applied for one, but at the— and spoke to their GP about it, but the GP's like, no, you don't need it.

Tommy: I mean, so the way it works is you're feeling a bit down, you like, I recognise I want to see a psychologist, I recognise that I don't want to pay full price.

Josh: What is it called, the Mental Health Scheme or Plan?

Tommy: Mental Health Plan. Through Medicare, they subsidise. So I went, I wanted to get my throat checked, and then I dropped on him.

Josh: Is it almost like, is this the equivalent? What was that? Is this the equivalent of like you go to the shops and you're buying some condoms and so you add some milk as well? Like, did you really have something with your throat?

Tommy: Amy, my wife, had tonsillitis, and I wanted to see, I wanted to see if my throat was any, was there's any indication because I can't have that shit. She hasn't been able to talk properly. You're like, it's been that bad. How's my throat?

Josh: It looks fine. Well, could it make me depressed?

Tommy: No, no, no. And then tried to get some painkillers out of him.

Josh: Bullshit.

Tommy: Some ones that you can't get over the counter now for Amy.

Josh: For Amy.

Tommy: She couldn't sleep. She couldn't sleep. It was like keeping her up at night, so I couldn't get those. And then I said, did you—

Josh: so you asked him, hey, how's—

Tommy: I said, can you like, my wife can't sleep at the moment. And I tried to just— it's like Nocindol used to be over the counter. It's got codeine in it. They've pulled it off. The shelves in Australia. Yeah, so it's behind the counter now, subscription.

Josh: Um, anyway, subscription, subscription, subscription, prescription.

Tommy: I mean, the dark web, you could probably get a subscription of painkillers, not a test.

Josh: Wait, so no, so did you actually, um, so I, so I— were you going to, at the start, if your throat was looked inflamed, were you going to say, can I have painkillers for me? Because they would never give it to someone who who wasn't there.

Tommy: You could go to the doctor and you, like, it depends on the severity of it, I think. You can't get— you're not going to get endone hard painkillers if it's not you, but maybe you could get a Moxil. This is like a Moxilin or whatever it is, like a basic, uh, what do you call it, antibiotic that they give out. It's like, you know, you could probably get that.

Josh: And so you said my wife, she hasn't been—

Tommy: he didn't give a shit about— he's like, what? Nah, just get— just use Panadol and Nurofit. Like, you can use both, it's a combo. Anyway, it's all good. But then I did say the mental health stuff, and so he then said, okay, I've got to run you through— I'll ask you some questions. And there's a scale of not at all, sometimes, more than, more than sometimes, a lot, or something like that, some kind of like range scale. And so some of the questions are pretty intense.

Josh: Um, so it's going because it takes, it takes fucking—

Tommy: it's a weird conversation to have. I mean, it's— it was a man, like, it could be my dad at age 60, 65. Um, it was sweet, he was lovely, he was a lovely guy, and he was gentle about it and just asking. It wasn't too much judgement in it. But then he said, look, because I hadn't booked in— I'd booked in at a late time, time slot— he's like, ah, we probably need another 15 minutes to do this, I can't do it tonight, can you come back on Thursday? In the meantime, can you find a site psychologist that you would like me to write the referral for, and then when you come back in, we can do, uh, the full debrief, and then I can write the thing for you. So we— at that point, I had in my mind, I'm not going to get this. Like, I was giving myself, you know, pat on the back. Now I'm all good, but it's like, no, I wanted it. That's why I think it's disgusting that your mate didn't get it. Yeah, because he's acknowledged that he has some kind of mental health.

Josh: Did you enter and say, hey, like, I, um, I think I need to go see a psychologist.

Tommy: Well, they say, why? What's going on? You say—

Josh: But so is that what you started with?

Tommy: Yeah, I said I wanted to have the referral for the mental health thing. I see it's fumbled through. I don't know what it is. He knows you want the rebate, don't you, kid? And I was like, yeah, definitely. He was a nice guy because the other night he said, because we were talking about like just the way it's all right, the cheques and balances. They get audited by Medicare. Like, doctors are now getting audited by Medicare. It's government money essentially that they're giving out. And he said— this is why I liked him— he said, oh, you know, the Medicare bullshit. He used that phrase, Medicare bullshit. He said, come, if you know, if you do your first 6 sessions and then you, you want to come back and see me and tell me how it's going, and you can go through that Medicare bullshit and we'll get another 6 or 4 or whatever.

Josh: And so did, um, I mean, the Medicare bullshit allowed us all to get our testosterone tested for a silly show.

Tommy: The bullshit's real. I appreciate that.

Josh: From one bullshitter to another, we appreciate you.

Tommy: Yeah, bullshitters appreciate bullshit. But you can't bullshit a bullshitter.

Josh: Yeah, absolutely right. Yeah, it's a good— I mean, it's a funny one when people say that, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, mate, don't bullshit a bullshitter. So what have you done?

Tommy: You know what I mean?

Josh: What are you, like, fraud? What are we talking? High level? Low level? Who have you ripped off?

Tommy: Cal Sinclair from the Sydney Football Club. He said it on his podcast.

Josh: Can't bullshit a bullshitter.

Tommy: Can't bullshit a bullshitter. His mate said He said, why didn't you get back to me on the text? And then he said, oh no, I checked my phone and I hadn't pressed send on the message, so it was like 12 hours later. And the only reason I checked my phone was because I thought you hadn't got back to me. And Callum said, don't bullshit a bullshit up.

Josh: I've used that excuse before.

Tommy: I thought it was a perfect example of that saying.

Josh: Yeah, I was waiting for a friend to text back and I'd seen that they had done an Insta storey Yeah. And so I'm like, okay, well, they've clearly seen it unless they're running two phones, which is my dream.

Tommy: Emmylou?

Josh: Emmylou. Yeah, it wasn't Emmylou.

Tommy: These are micro lies.

Josh: Aggressions.

Tommy: Yes. Not aggressions. It's not aggressive to not respond. It's aggressive to send a, you know, flipping the bird finger up.

Josh: But what was that noise, Sam?

Mason: Just my keys.

Josh: What are you ready to go home? You don't even drive.

Mason: I was just putting them back on the office keys, mate. Okay, just putting them on.

Josh: Then they have one office key. Yeah.

Tommy: Uh, so have— do you think you've tamed the, the lying beast? Like, I think we all have that sort of white lie, uh, trait within us. A lot of people do just little stuff to hide something, or I don't know. I mean, it's, it's an interesting reason why we, we lie at times, even on an email or in business. How do you think you've tamed it, or you've got better at using it, or what's your vibe on it?

Josh: No, I mean, when I was younger, I definitely lied lie more just on things like, I'm working on this thing, but I hadn't started.

Tommy: The thing that they used to say— oh, I remember hearing it— like, uh, smart kids, people, intelligent people lie when they're young.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't know. I think, um, yeah, no, I mean, there's some things that you do so that you don't hurt people's feelings because you, you feel like you need to address it. But also there's people too that you have a good enough relationship with that knows you to be like, nah, I'm just, I'm just being shit. Sorry I didn't get back to you.

Tommy: Yeah. And so you lean into the honesty of it. But I mean, it could even be, how you doing? Like, you've done something. You're like, nah, you're like, I'm good. Yeah, but you're not good. So it's a, you just have, you've, you've placed the truth over here and just put it something not offensive or just some neutral thing.

Josh: Have you found a psychologist? Mate, um, it's gonna be the best conversation that we've had with multiple people.

Tommy: You've asked the question of how do you find one. I think I've, I've pulled off the table any thought about who they are and what— what— any—

Josh: if they're any good.

Tommy: Qualified, have to be. They need doctor at the front of their name. They need a doctorate in psychology. There's a, there's a, a place you're not going to go say veterinarian. They could help me, I don't know. No. Can they give me the meds that I wanted?

Josh: What is he?

Mason: I don't know.

Josh: The thing with the shell on it.

Mason: Oh, armadillo. An armadillo.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So I need someone who can crack my shell.

Josh: Yeah. Um, uh, sounds like you said crack Michelle. I did, didn't I?

Tommy: But over literally almost a stone's throw away from my house is a psychology clinic.

Josh: Oh, that's convenient.

Tommy: It's just like this little shop front. Um, I looked online It seems sweet. I was like, great. And so I'm, so I'm going to go there.

Josh: So like a, like it's interesting when those types of businesses have a shopfront.

Tommy: Well, I think the rent would be low in the area. It's like a, it's like a PT studio. It's very much the same vibe. It's like they could be houses. They could be, you know, you could live in one, but it's a little shopfront.

Josh: So I'm just imagining you going to see a guy. You want to see a dude?

Tommy: I think it's a woman.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: I'm happy to say either.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, I don't— that's— I'm not talking— I don't think I'm talking about— I'm not fussed. I don't think I need some man to be able to relate. Like, I don't need, you know, you know, it's like, bro, to have your fucking hard armadillo shell. Like, I don't care about that.

Josh: Do you think that you've evolved in that way? Or like, as in, like, do you think that you would have previously?

Tommy: I mean, my only thought is a female doctor checking my genitals. Okay, not that—

Josh: psychologist won't do that.

Tommy: I'm in the wrong place. I've gone to a Matt D'Avella style massage parlour if that's the case. But no, I'm— so for that stuff, to be honest, I think there's, um, there's a softness and a, and a warmth that I think, um, females put off. That is, think about your mum, right? For me, um, mum's someone who I can have an emotional conversation with. Dad, I definitely can. But it's a different, it's a different conversation. And so I feel like, I feel, I think I gravitate towards, um, women for emotional support more so. I mean, my wife, but I think I just, yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable is probably the word. I don't actually have women in my life that I'm seeking, you know, emotional support from. Yeah, but it's, yeah, it's an interesting one. Like, I mean, there's a bit of admin in front of you, dude, if you want to go down this road. But I, um I think it's a good starting point.

Josh: And so have you booked in the first one?

Tommy: No, I haven't. I've just got the letter.

Mason: And so I've got to go back to the GP, right?

Tommy: No, I've been to the GP.

Mason: Oh, but you said you did both.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I've done the second one.

Josh: And so the, um, because when Bree has her psychologist appointment, she sort of does a debrief, talked about this, talked about that.

Tommy: With you?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because you ask her?

Josh: No, no, no. She just wants to. She's just like, oh yeah, no, we talked about that. She had, you know, great perspective on this and that. Do you think that you're going to be the type to talk about your experience?

Tommy: I don't know. I mean, this—

Josh: yes, I mean, you talk a lot about your meditating, more than you meditate probably.

Tommy: Uh, no, I reckon I've— I reckon I've done meditate way more than I've talked about.

Josh: Think about— I'm actually meditating 10 minutes a day, almost for a year straight.

Mason: He doesn't talk 10 minutes.

Tommy: 365, 3650 50 minutes. Like, I've done over 3,000 minutes easily of meditation. I haven't talked about meditation.

Josh: I don't know if we brought it up on Otter.

Tommy: I mean, there's been a lot of talk, a lot of times, but definitely not that many minutes.

Josh: Um, and so do you think you would be the type to— so if you get back, you get home, Amy's like, oh, how you going? It's like, oh, good.

Tommy: I think one of the things I want to work on is communicating the shit that I'm feeling, which is not, I don't think, a natural thing for me. Like, as in, I communicate every single day, and I, you know, we have this podcast, but talk— sometimes I feel like it's fucking easier not to. Yeah. And there's the problem, right? It's in its— that's its— yeah, that answer is the problem.

Josh: There is something that's like, yeah, I just can't be bothered. Yeah, somebody's like going into it, or there's— I guess you can sometimes feel like, I feel like I've talked about this enough. I know I've thought about this and I don't know what externalising it's going to do. Yeah.

Tommy: Which is then when you're in a relationship, that is probably the— that's probably not necessarily the right approach based on other people needing to process shit too. And that's where I think maybe it's a male trait of like, no, I'm sorting this shit out. So it's like, don't you worry about it, I'm getting through it. But I think that's the trap of thinking you can do it all by yourself.

Josh: I guess part of it might be people wonder what, uh, if you are problem solving or solutions focused, is this conversation going to provide a better solution or is it going to just create more anxiety?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. So you're like, unless this conversation leads to some sort of new fucking— yeah, I don't want to have it. Which sometimes the talking bit is the point. It is the solution. It's just the talking, the airing shit off your chest. Like Anything you're keeping in, Sev? Like anything, you don't have to actually say it, but is there anything you're feeling at the moment like you actually have identified? It's like, I don't fucking talk about that, I don't want to talk about it.

Mason: No, I've sort of just with— I haven't been to the gym and, and all that stuff in a while, so that's, that's been— I've been thinking about that and feeling a bit, feeling a bit down about not going there. I think that was like a, a release for me, going to the gym and being in the sauna and stuff. And so not having that since coming back from the US or whatever, it's been, it's been, it's been weird. Like, just, it's, it has— I haven't had that outlet to be able to just, you know, get rid of stuff. Um, but no, I, I don't think I've been holding, holding much. Yeah, I talk pretty openly.

Tommy: But yeah, I mean, there she go to, like, I think relationship, having a partner, like, you know, it It is the— you kind of just get in a pattern of talking about shit. Hopefully. I think a lot of people do. It's like your rock, right?

Josh: Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy: When I was single, I didn't really have the rock. I spoke to my mum probably more than I do now. But what's it for you? Is it your dog?

Mason: Varies between mum and probably Andre.

Tommy: Coconut Crew.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Fuck it. What's Andre spinning? What is he telling you to do? Quit your job.

Tommy: Advice Monster or no? A little bit.

Josh: Yeah, a little bit.

Tommy: It's hard, like, if you don't have that person in your life that you can chat to, chat through with stuff like, oh, I mean, I mean, you can listen also, so you can listen to content that, that can give you tools and tips to handle and sort of get, but it's, I don't know what's a release like. It is the gym thing is like an action that, that actually stimulate, create some visceral response and change in your body. The talking thing is an action that can change something about your situation.

Josh: It's like the quote, you can't outthink overthinking, but you've tried. Yeah, well, you can't— or you can't outthink your thoughts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I think like talking to people makes a difference. I think there's also comfort in if you are If you are feeling stressed, I feel like sometimes I just want to know that other people are also stressing about the same thing.

Tommy: So, it's like an empathy thing? You really just like need to—

Josh: Well, it's that it's a shared experience. It's like if you're feeling like, I'm stressed about this thing, to know that, oh, you know what? There's other people who are also thinking about it, just to take off some of that load, then it means that you don't have to think as much. Or potentially just living just through time, you're actually problem solving because it's a shared thing.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, generations of people that haven't opened up at all, like, they blow up.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Do you want to— you want to avoid that? Has writing helped with you, 97?

Mason: Yeah, definitely. Like, it gets all the overwhelm out of your head, just being able to put something It doesn't even matter what it is, right? Like you put down like dumb stuff, like not having— What are you putting down? Well, I write down like not having ingredients for a smoothie in the morning.

Tommy: Like baby upset.

Mason: Yeah, baby's upset. He doesn't have his banana for his smoothie.

Tommy: Especially when you've gone to your—

Mason: That's the worst.

Tommy: Because there's no smoothies.

Josh: When you rely on that.

Tommy: Or the base. Just the base.

Mason: Or the worst one is no milk.

Josh: Almond milk's the base. Is it almond milk?

Mason: No, no, no. I'm just—

Josh: Oat?

Mason: No, full cream at the moment.

Josh: Full cream dairy. Like sort of animal cruelty style. Okay, animal cruelty stuff. That's funny.

Tommy: I've milked a cow.

Josh: It's all good. That's not bragging. Uh, but the, um, you got a new blender?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: What's the brand?

Mason: Uh, it's, it's an Optimum 9200A.

Josh: What's the B one?

Mason: The B? I don't know what the B is, but there's a 9400.

Josh: And you got the 200?

Mason: I got the 200 RPM.

Josh: So what is that?

Mason: I don't know what it is.

Tommy: Price difference between 200 and 400? What, what was it?

Mason: Uh, $200.

Tommy: So you're getting for that extra 200?

Mason: I don't know, just more, I think more power, more blitzing power. But this one, it's got plenty of power. It's ridiculous.

Josh: So what are you, what are you making?

Mason: It's my normal smoothies.

Josh: Okay.

Mason: But it's great because like the, um, the NutriBullet or whatever, it did like a, it did like an all right blitz on it. You'd still have like lumps and stuff in it. But this one is like a proper like Boost Juice, like it's proper smooth.

Josh: Have you thought about working out what one the Boost Juice stores use?

Mason: They've probably not, but They've probably got a deal that the other—

Tommy: they're buying in bulk. Yeah, the supply chain's dialled in.

Josh: Yeah, but sure, but that shouldn't be about—

Tommy: he's not, he's not doing the scale.

Mason: The other, the other thing is that there's one, their ones would cost like a, like $1,000 per thing.

Josh: And what did you pay?

Mason: $400.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, even one of the, um, Nutri— no, no, no, no, the Vitamix. Vitamix, like $880 or something.

Mason: Yeah, that was— so this one's like Apparently, like, it's meant to be a cheap alternative to a Vitamix.

Tommy: You've gone there.

Mason: But it's, I mean, it's got 6 years warranty, so that's fine.

Tommy: Well, it should be fine.

Josh: Where is the brand from?

Mason: Uh, Australian company.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Mason: Made in China though.

Josh: Did you see the, um, you've looked into that as well?

Mason: Well, they, they, they've got it all over their website, so.

Josh: Really? Why?

Mason: I don't know, just promoting China. No, no, Aussie.

Josh: Oh no, I meant you said it was made in China. I said, how do you know?

Mason: You're like, they're promoting it because I was reading the reviews or whatever and it says like Aussie company but made in China. Okay.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, it's kind of fine. Are you going to, um, do you think— I mean, you mentioned it, you said next year it's either mental health stuff or laser hair removal on my neck.

Josh: I've had like 3 people ask about that, by the way.

Tommy: The laser hair thing, are you going to do it?

Josh: No, no, well, no, about the mental health thing. Both, I think, Pete Shepherd and Scooter Derek said, they're like, oh, when you— are you all right? Because, uh, when you mentioned laser hair or going to see a psychologist, the guys really jumped in and like, 'Psychologist, yeah, go, go, go, go.' Oh yeah, yeah, they probably quite—

Tommy: some recently it was like, um, something around like all the people, people.

Josh: Do you reckon you do quotes well?

Tommy: No, not at all. I'm butchering the fuck out of it, but something about—

Mason: you butchered the one just before.

Tommy: I know you put— what do you mean? This is the show.

Mason: What was everyone butchers quotes?

Josh: What was I mean, it's a rite of passage.

Mason: You said you can't outthink overthinking, but then you read it, but then you said you can't outthink thinking.

Josh: You can't overthink thoughts.

Mason: What? Yeah, whatever.

Josh: Can you find out you can't overthink? Can you just write that in? See what it is.

Tommy: I got your point. This is the whole thing. You don't—

Josh: you can't overthink. What was it? What's the Google? Uh, what does Google tell?

Tommy: I mean, the brilliant thing about community speaking. It's just like you can reference something, you can, you can give it a crack and you get the gist of it.

Josh: But also, what about Ryan Nicodemus? Ryan did a whole bit which was about a guy who, uh, he touched on—

Tommy: in essence, he was saying set a goal, reached it, but realised it wasn't the goal, and he, um, yeah.

Josh: And, uh, then Ryan messaged and was like, hey bro, I got that completely wrong. I was Googling it, didn't feel good about it. Good story.

Tommy: Yeah, I think it's an understanding of like, great message. Your goal necessarily isn't where you want. You, it should shift.

Josh: You, you arrive and you're like, this is the guy who founded Polaroid, died at 82.

Tommy: Yeah, had a healthy life.

Mason: I think you might have made up that quote. I can't find anything.

Tommy: No, but I get it. You can't think you're thinking.

Mason: Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.

Tommy: It's a Yeah. Um, what was it? The one something that in essence it's saying like, um, the people who need psychology, all the people around them go and get the psychology to deal with it.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ryan Shelton, that's what Ryan Shelton said.

Tommy: What was he saying?

Josh: He literally said he was saying that he was going to the psychologist. What is that noise? No, 7, is that coming from the—

Tommy: your phone into the—

Josh: it must be his, I reckon. Um, Yeah, no, Ryan Shelton was talking about that. Yeah, on the show he was, he was saying that he wanted to understand how other people were thinking within his life, and that was part of the reason, the catalyst for going.

Tommy: Yeah, I was more drawing the connection that all the people around you are getting psychology work and you're not.

Josh: Oh yeah, you know what, I think never— see, that's funny because I reckon that's you hiding from your own I didn't say that.

Tommy: I just said the quote. No, but I was saying a quote that was—

Josh: Yeah, yeah. But I think that there is that, like, some— there's so much stigma around it that you could say, I'm doing this because of someone else.

Tommy: It's not— I don't fucking do it because at all. It's like, I need to do it.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: What's interesting is I actually think that you're— you have the stigma attached to the mental health stuff.

Josh: Like, to me, it's, it's purely admin. It's purely like, I don't go to my— I don't go to the podiatrist, I don't do any of those things. I'm not saying I don't go to the gym. I mean, if it was not—

Tommy: if it was framed as an e— like a valuable thing, I don't know. I think if it just— with how much you talk about it and then you don't do it, it's like—

Josh: well, I think, no, to be honest, because it sounds like you want to, it's something that over time I think that it will be something that I want to explore. But I feel like it's one of those things where there's heaps of— if you have a spectrum of things that you can do, it's the stuff around whether it be meditating or walking or— and for me it's the walk. Like the value that I get is through walking with people who I'm close with, who I can talk, talk with. And so that— but definitely it's one of those things that's like, I mean, why do people go like most people would probably go to the psychologist based on a crucible moment or something that happens that triggers, like, hang on, I, I want to, uh, whether it be through self-development, like, I want to develop myself more, or I don't know how to handle this specific thing. Um, and so, like, I guess I'm thinking, I think it's—

Tommy: I think it is changing in some respects.

Josh: Like, it's preventative.

Tommy: Yeah, things are getting more mainstream. I think when there's less stigma towards something, it—

Josh: I think also, I think I'm a rebel as well. So I think people telling every time that's like you saying, I think that's something you want to do.

Tommy: I'd say no, just from talking, just from talking. I don't know why you'd ask a question like when someone talks about them going, what you get so curious.

Josh: It's just I find that it could make on the other side. So I find it interesting around So I think that there's a lot of time that's got to be spent in the admin of doing it. And so I'm like, okay, uh, my stresses is, uh, overwhelm based on having too much shit that I need to do, right? And so the idea of doing another thing, to me, yeah, I mean, you've got to see that it is going to bring enough value.

Tommy: It's like, yeah. And so sometimes fucking can't be bothered, but it's like the thought that it will make you feel better is the reason you—

Josh: it's also a person. I guess the thing is it's a personal— what is the essence? Like, what are, what are we specifically— what's the prescription? Like, if you were to take a specific thing and prescribe it to everyone, it is talk to someone.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: And so for me, that's what I've done, you know, every, every week for the past year. I go hang out with my mate, we go for a walk, we talk, and I feel so good after it.

Tommy: 100%. This is why I think a lot of guys like going to the gym with other men. It's like just a— women like going to the gym too, but I think it is like a— it's this thing where you get to just hook a hugger, hang around a mate and just talk shit, and it's— it feels good. I don't do enough of that.

Josh: Yeah, I guess that's the thing, like I've been getting that So I guess you're also hanging out with one of the great coaches in Melbourne, Pete Shepherd. Yes. And, uh, but I guess it's one of those things of like you have a friendship and you happen to help each other, but it's not like I'm like, coach me, Pete.

Tommy: It's a positive. You hang around people that lift you up and yeah, and you hope you can do the same.

Josh: And yeah, so yeah, I think it's like you've got to be doing something. Yeah. What's, what's the thing in 2020 that you want to implement or do?

Tommy: I mean, it's little things. I think what's worked great for me this year is consistency of a few little things, which have meant taking off the table some things. Like, there's definitely something in the rules, sticking to something for time and giving it a good crack to be able to analyse what did it work for me, didn't, didn't it. Alcohol, a bunch of other stuff. So I don't quite know what it is, but I'm, um Yeah, I'm up for the challenge. I think, yeah, the word— picking a word is something I really want to do again. This year was consistency, and so I want to pick something else, and I don't know what that something else is yet.

Josh: Balance, maybe?

Tommy: Balance would be good. That is a good word because there's—

Josh: because you could— I mean, it's— you can interpret it in different ways because you've been extremely consistent with one or two things. Like, you've done some things really, really well But then obviously balance.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I wrote a list. It's like, um, there was, um, which I think I'll do a post at some point in December just to some of the things, a bit of accountability. Yeah, it's definitely around the connecting with friends more. It's around adventures with Bodhi, date nights with my wife. It sounds like very specific, isn't it? But these are some of the things that I think You're right, you focus on a few things, but to— but maybe that's freed up time to be able to think about some other priorities. Yeah, it's a long journey. It's, um, it's good.

Josh: You thinking 97 about what you want your implementation to be for 2020?

Mason: Um, yeah, there's prob— there's probably more of a focus on, um, friendships and catching up with people. I haven't really done that that much. Like, come— one thing, like, coming back from the US is great, catching up with people, and I've never really done that. So I'd like to do that. Um, and then I've— I haven't— I haven't gotten the practise of meditation down, the consistency of doing it all the time. So I'd like to do that as well.

Josh: Yeah, great. I think for me it's like the getting up as soon as I wake up in the morning.

Tommy: Out of bed, fresh bed.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. I spend like an hour sometimes just like, but like I'll get up at 6, like, as I'll wake up at 6 and then I'll be in bed till 7. I'm doing email, I'm doing all that sort of shit. But it's like if I was just actually get out, even have a shower and do all that stuff, I feel like I could. But also the other thing too is the days where I'm doing the walk, like my walk. That's like super productive. And so it's like, oh, why don't— what if I actually did a 2-hour walk every morning, 6 to 8?

Tommy: How much easier is it when you've got that person to show up to? I've found with the gym myself, it's like I just scrape it through that, you know, when I'm by myself.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Um, but yeah, anyway, 1 minute to go. This is nice. Evan's wrapping us up.

Josh: Okay, it's a Daily Talk Show. Uh, hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address. We've got any emails?

Mason: We've got an email from Ben. Gronks, welcome back home and congrats on the monumental series of podcasts from LA.

Tommy: 22, baby. 21, 22 episodes. Oh, we got a guest here quickly. We got a friend.

Josh: Okay, we'll keep Ben's email for Monday. Yeah, uh, it's a daily talk show. Uh, we'll see tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: Sorry, Ben, we'll get to it tomorrow. Love you.