Dolphin Farts With Tommy's Bro

Michael: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's a Daily Talk Show episode 399.

Tommy: Weekend banter. What is going on?

Michael: Is that my— was that my intro?

Josh: That's about it. Well, we— I'm rattled because I wanted to start a new way of doing the intros of the show and we said absolutely not.

Tommy: And we've got my brother Michael Jackett on the cast.

Michael: G'day.

Josh: On the cast?

Tommy: I'll never say that again.

Michael: What does that even mean?

Josh: On the cast?

Tommy: Podcast.

Josh: On the few things we will never do again.

Tommy: And I'm sorry, Michael. That you've had to be here for this. We will never intro the show like Fat Fridays yesterday. Never again. Mr. 97, feedback?

Mason: It was horrendous.

Josh: Why was it bad, do you think?

Mason: Oh, I was just listening back to it. It's just so cringe.

Josh: And try hard. Yeah, yeah, that's one of my brand values.

Tommy: But also never do the Ryan Seacrest impersonation again. We've, we've had the people, the masses have spoken. Two people. Yeah, two people have said never again.

Josh: What's the only accent that I— the American accent I can do? Is, uh, Ryan Seacrest.

Michael: Did that come up again yesterday?

Josh: Uh, no, Thursday. He's just catching up.

Tommy: Have you heard him do the Ryan Seacrest?

Michael: Yeah, I think one of the early apps, I think I heard.

Josh: Oh yeah, yeah, that's what you're referring— no, I've definitely done it more than once. We should actually look at the, um, transcript. Are you right? It's a little— sorry, guys, that's okay.

Tommy: Sorry. $3.99, guys.

Josh: Far out. I wanted to ask Mikey, can you do any accents?

Michael: No, fuck no.

Josh: Have you done any acting before?

Michael: No. Oh yeah, actually in year 9, I won a year 9 acting award.

Josh: Did you?

Michael: And yeah, mate of mine, Tom Newton, was so dirty because he really felt like he was the better actor. But I think the teacher liked me better, so she gave me the award. Fuck, he was pissed.

Tommy: I'll tell you what kind of a brother Michael was like. He was the kid who had all of the trophies and the little flags. And remember how you used to have all of those ribbons? I had none.

Michael: Well, I was a hoarder. Yeah. So they could have been like an 8th place. Yeah, I still am. Yeah, absolutely.

Josh: So do you still have trophies from a kid?

Michael: Do you know what? I reckon I've got that Year 9 drama trophy.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: What do you do with it?

Michael: Well, it sits in a box with all the other shit, you know, like all the other trophies. No, no, I don't have a trophy cabinet, but it sits in a box with like the, you know, your certificates from school that your mum's kept. Like, Mum, did she keep that sort of shit for you?

Tommy: Yeah, but I haven't, I haven't asked it. The problem is once you sort of have it in your possession, you then start to build that association with it. It becomes an extent you like that I can't get rid of that. Yeah.

Michael: And so liability.

Tommy: And now you've got it. But if your house burned down, you've got none of it and it doesn't really fucking matter.

Josh: The aim of the game is to burn your house down. No, not to burn your house down.

Michael: I kind of wish it happens so I can relieve myself of all this burden.

Tommy: Mate, Barefoot Investor, he got a good book out of his misfortune.

Josh: Far out. I mean, the, Trophy-wise, what sort of sports were you playing when you were growing up?

Michael: Uh, footy, and played a bit of cricket as a youngster, then moved into tennis.

Tommy: Nah, but your trophies and most of your ribbons came from swimming.

Michael: Yeah, like swimming.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, this guy had a fucking— you thought he was going to the army. He had a just a short back and sides and almost, almost an afro, like just chiselled fucking—

Michael: do you know Grant? He was my hairdresser back in the day.

Tommy: Grant the Barber. Um, Mr. 90— sorry, Conspiracy Jimmy and his whole family all went to Grant. One of, Roland, Conspiracy Jimmy's brother, still goes to Grant the Barber.

Michael: Legendary.

Tommy: And our dad still goes to Grant the Barber.

Michael: So I remember the day when I came in, I would have been 8 or something, 9, and Grant sat me down in the chair and he goes, Mikey, I've got a new, I've got a new comb for you. And I was like, oh yeah? And he'd bought this comb with a spirit level on it so that he could get the flat top so as flat as he could. And so he would shave like 0.5 on the sides and the back, and then he'd just full, like—

Josh: Was he joking?

Michael: No, he fucking loved it.

Tommy: It has to be unique though, because if your head is tilted like that, you'll end up getting an off— it won't be flat.

Michael: You'll have a ski jump.

Josh: It feels like it. Do you remember the ski jump was like the, um, I had the one where it's like you flat the top and then just flick up the end, which sort of like, it's a fake spiky hair because your profile's horrendous.

Tommy: Russian assassin.

Michael: Around the time you were putting lemon juice in your head.

Josh: Yeah, well, I always did the bleach. Maybe that's why I've got folliculitis.

Tommy: Maybe it's that.

Michael: You just— hey, I was reading up on folliculitis last night. Isn't it in the nose?

Josh: Uh, no, no, folliculitis—

Tommy: why were you reading up on it, bro?

Michael: Because I've got pimples in my nose and they're fucking giving me the shits, and I was like, what is this? And it came up with folliculitis.

Josh: Well, yeah, because it could be your hairs are getting in the follicles. Yeah, especially like getting a bit of hair in your nose.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: The follicles could be getting infected, and that's the folliculitis.

Michael: Oh man, it's painful.

Josh: It's like what I've got on my head. I think I had it once. I took some antibiotics and they finished.

Tommy: Now, did you use sun in, or you went straight to bleach?

Josh: Yeah, I was straight into bleach.

Tommy: Just a bit of bleach.

Josh: Oh boy, it'd be fucking— it's just, "Mum, it's burning." And also like the tip, it started off with the tip cap.

Michael: Oh.

Josh: But every single time—

Michael: That's what Jules used to get every haircut.

Josh: Yeah, but every single time it would be stabbing your head like you've You would essentially—

Tommy: It hurt.

Josh: Yeah, because it's got like this metal, like, pick thing that you stab in and then pull out.

Tommy: It looks like a hook, but it's mini. And so it goes in and then they pull out a strand, a couple of strands of hair.

Josh: And so you'd scrape up your head through all of that. And it's like, let's put some bleach on top.

Tommy: Paint it.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I told you about when I went and I had the bleach cap and she dropped some bleach onto my t-shirt, this new t-shirt that I got. It was sick. It was like orange. Fuck, it just— she's— she just wiped it off. She's like, that's fine.

Josh: And then she knew it wasn't gonna be fine, by the way.

Mason: Absolutely.

Tommy: She must have. The next day it had gone just brownie shitty, like bleachy. It was fucked.

Michael: I've still got some undies that I was cleaning the bath with bleach and I sat back onto the bath where I cleaned it and it just turned like yellowy whitey.

Tommy: Oh no. Um, so you showed me just before a photo of everyone's doing it, the old face or the, you know, just it's a face filter that's making you look old.

Michael: FaceApp.

Tommy: But like anything that gains some traction, there's been a bit of a conspiracy that's jumped behind it. Mr97, do you want to outlay what's going down?

Mason: Yeah. So, the FaceApp is the app that they use to generate the photos. And apparently, people are worried about their data being sent back to Russia because the company is Russian-based.

Tommy: Yep.

Mason: Um, but I was just looking through here. There's a security researcher, um, and she says that they're actually not sending any data back to, uh, Russian servers.

Tommy: And that was translated from Russian because she's Russian.

Josh: I did hear about this, that they're— because my point is, if, if they were going back to servers, you'd get huge data bills, right? Like, because what they're saying is your photos are going from your library, so your dick pics or whatever, going up to the cloud, and some— someone in Russia has them.

Michael: Oh, uh, oh no, all of the dick pics. No, I thought it was just the photo you took on the app, but I suppose that makes sense.

Josh: No, yeah, so I mean, the photo on the app, yeah, like, not that much of an issue. I don't think, like, if you upload it, I guess that—

Tommy: What can they do with it?

Michael: It's more that it was fake. But the— What I saw was they're using everyone's face and connecting it with their profile and their information, facial recognition. Ah, it's all— I mean, it's all bullshit, but yeah, it's a good story.

Tommy: It's—

Josh: I liked it.

Tommy: I mean, once you put the Russians in there, it sounds juicy, doesn't it?

Josh: I'd like to go to Russia.

Tommy: Fuckin' nice.

Josh: Have you ever been to Russia?

Michael: No, never been to Russia.

Tommy: It looks— You've done a lot of traveling.

Josh: Been to China a lot of times. Yeah. What do you— What do you think of, uh, because of Russia and China Similar sort of like there's that level of, oh, you're going to China and you're going to—

Michael: Russia seems a bit more like, a mate of mine, Steve, went to Russia recently on a work trip and he said it's all just, it's a bit more like underground, it feels a bit more underground. Like you've got to go, like he said, I was meeting someone who was like an agent essentially, and he was like, oh, meet me at this bar at 9:30 PM. He's like, what? Like, I'm here to do legit business. Anyway, China's not quite like that. China's just mad. It's chaotic, but it's not like you see You don't get a lot of like, oh, this is the dodgy joint. This is not where I was going.

Josh: And so do you have like, um, because you go there for work a bit, would you, um—

Tommy: Used to, not anymore. Have you been since you started your new job?

Michael: I went like once last year, but no, I haven't been, haven't been for it.

Josh: Do you have to get a new visa every time?

Michael: Uh, I filled a passport going to China. Oh, actually in a 2-year period I was travelling so much I filled a passport.

Josh: Filled a passport going to China?

Michael: Because of the amount of visas you have to get every time you go, basically. And they fill a page.

Josh: Have you ever been obsessed with— There was a time where I was like, I want to fill up my passport before the next one. Problem is I've still got probably like a few pages and it finishes November 2020. Hard luck.

Tommy: You better get that sorted before, because if we get to a time where we need to go to—

Josh: Well, 6 months.

Tommy: Expo.

Josh: So, I'll need to. So, probably by the beginning of 2020, I'll have to get a new one. But so, has that ever been a thing where you've tried to actually fill one out?

Michael: No, it was a pain in the arse, actually, because I had to go and get a new passport.

Josh: American mate got an insert for his. I don't know if they do that in Australia, but he's— They basically just send you more of the pages.

Michael: Oh, really?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I met a girl that once was at an airport and she, I think it was only New Zealand, maybe. Nah, maybe it was further out. But if you have a pa— If you don't have a passport, you can't travel, right?

Josh: So, internationally.

Tommy: Yeah. So, what happens if you lose your passport the day that you're going to the airport? Can you get on that plane?

Michael: No.

Tommy: She said that to me that you can. There's a, there's a rule if you're in the airport and it's an Australian airline. Look this up, Mr. 97. You can get onto the plane without the passport. And obviously, you need to sort of work it out. But if you can't, like, what happens? You lose all that money. Can you find that out?

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: I call bullshit.

Tommy: Do you?

Michael: Well, because just because the bloke with the Chinese— No, because there's the front desk that they're like, yeah, like, here's your ticket and stuff. But then there's customs. Like, customs don't take no shit from no one.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: I feel like it would only be if it was like going one— What, like, I'm sure there'd be all these nuances.

Michael: Maybe you're going home.

Tommy: Home is the point, not away.

Michael: Not—

Josh: But what about if maybe it's— Maybe if it's in a connecting flight Maybe if you've gotten from—

Michael: Oh yeah, you lost it on the— on between LA and Melbourne and you had to stop over somewhere.

Josh: Yeah. Which is a very specific—

Michael: Well, there's no stopover there.

Josh: Kate, well, say if you were going Auckland— LA to Auckland to Melbourne and you lost it in Auckland, you have to be able to get home.

Tommy: You can't just be stranded. Sure.

Michael: Yeah, that makes sense.

Tommy: Sure. Anything, Mr. 97?

Josh: It's a very nuanced question.

Tommy: It's hard.

Josh: There's a lot of data there.

Tommy: He's a good little puppy.

Michael: Yeah.

Tommy: Um, so when you were going to China, yeah, what were you doing then? Because I know what you told us, but I don't know.

Michael: Uh, so, well, I was going to see factories and work with the factories that were manufacturing the bike helmets that I was designing.

Tommy: So he designed a helmet that was in the Tour de France. That's how I sell it.

Michael: Yeah, that was—

Tommy: is that a good way of selling it?

Josh: That's true.

Tommy: So it's, it's quite good. I mean, you— I remember you modelling it out and carving it up out of fucking— it looked like a big piece of brain.

Michael: It was clay.

Tommy: It was clay.

Josh: Would you test a helmet?

Michael: Yeah, yeah. So that's what you'd work with the factory in China to— they'd have full testing sites, like, with dummies and stuff. No, no. So there's two— there's a couple of different types of testing for helmets. It's like an active test where they put it on, on like a jig, and then they drive it into a— into the ground just to test. And there's sensors behind— there's a little sensor behind where they hit it on the ground, or there's static test where they hold the helmet and then they just like drop an anvil onto it. So yeah, they're brutal tests, but they're designed to save people's lives. So I actually remember getting it, um, I think I got sent this, or I was just doing some research online about the helmets because I was like, oh fuck, this is a safety product. Like, I was just so in the world of just like, oh, design and like carving these helmets and then going to China. And then I was like, oh hang on, these are actually on people's heads as they're hurtling down roads at 80kms an hour. And I started looking, and it was a review, and it was this woman who said, I had the worst accident, bike accident in my life, and, um, this helmet saved my life.

Tommy: And I was like, yes! Oh, you're always—

Josh: you're one.

Michael: Yeah, I stopped reading.

Josh: You need to put that on your Instagram bio.

Tommy: Fucking saved, um, Saviour. Just save your flat-out hashtag Saviour. They'll probably think you're just Christian.

Josh: Oh, that's cool. Was it on like an Amazon or something like that, or what?

Michael: Uh, it probably— like, this is now we're talking 5 years ago, so it was Probably it's since killed a couple of people. Yeah, stop reading reviews.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. He also designed an airbag that you might not know. Is that crazy? I mean, how much, how much can you prepare? So with what happened with the airbag shit where it's like there was a mass recall and they were using— yeah, I mean, like, what's the chance of that happening to a helmet? Like, how much are you considering what it's made out of and longevity? Do I need to replace my helmet every 10 years or something?

Michael: Absolutely.

Tommy: What about Melbourne helmets? What about the Melbourne— like, you see a bunch of people on expensive bikes rocking a $5 helmet from 7-Eleven.

Michael: Well, I mean, that's the funny thing. Like, a helmet's a helmet. Like, it's, it's— a $5 helmet has passed the same safety test that a $250 helmet has passed. So, so it's actually— for the, for the high-end helmets, it's actually harder for them to pass because you put things in there like you layer materials in there. The safest, the safest material is the EP, like the expandable polystyrene that they put into the mold. And so if you just had a big layer of that on your head, then you're sweet.

Tommy: It looks just— looks— yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michael: But, and yeah, so, but then the aerodynamics come into it, which is marginal.

Tommy: But, um, yeah, so I remember going to the Skate Bowl, which we spent a lot of time at in our childhood, which wasn't far from our place. And I was on my bike and I was there by myself with a mate but no parent, and I had this shitty helmet on. It wasn't cool to wear helmets still. I mean, it's not that cool. What's more cool now is safety. Wasn't really when we were growing up. I think there's cooler helmets now.

Josh: It's just because you're a dad now, safety.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had this fucking helmet that was just like— it was a joke because it was just all over the shop. I hadn't tightened it up, but I just knew I needed to wear it, and I'm thankful I did. I was dropping into the Big Bowl. Remember the Big Bowl?

Michael: Oh yeah.

Tommy: And I I pulled in and I just went straight from the top down to the bottom. Upon falling, my helmet had turned down to the side of my face and I smashed my side of my face and I was fine.

Michael: So the shitty helmet—

Tommy: no, I didn't smash the helmet, but the shitty helmet saved me from having a—

Michael: The funniest one is I see all the time people riding around with helmets on back to front, like they— and it's literally like, because helmet, like bike helmets, they're specifically designed to have like the retention system at the back, just tighten it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Michael: And they're shaped differently. And these things sit up like one of those Indian—

Josh: I've definitely done that.

Tommy: Yeah, it looks like Josh's haircut when he was young at the front away from me. You know what took me? This is embarrassing. I fucking couldn't work out what those things coming out the top of helmets were. And now, and I was like, why the fuck are people putting cable ties? When I worked out they're all cable ties.

Josh: Well, they are cable ties.

Tommy: That's what I mean. I worked on. I was like, why? And then it was—

Josh: What is it?

Michael: Magpies!

Tommy: It's for the magpies.

Michael: Which doesn't work.

Josh: Yeah, really? But it's, it's, it's, uh, you're having a stance on the issue though, aren't you? So like, even if it doesn't work, you're like, you know what, fuck the magpie. Like, they're probably— because you know where you stand when you say that.

Tommy: Who's the first person to put those on their helmet?

Michael: Well, it's like, it's the— isn't that the same theory as a scarecrow? Like, it's trying to stop the birds coming in, but it doesn't work. Like, I read it, I read a review on it. It's like, no, that's magpies. They— The best way to stop a magpie is to make eye contact with it.

Tommy: Or a shotgun. Or a shotgun.

Josh: Scarecrow. The best one I've ever seen, Scott Pape on his farm.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. So, think about like a big long piece of— It's almost like piping that sort of can sway back and forth.

Michael: Like the thing at a car yard.

Tommy: Yeah, like a car yard. And then on it was almost like— It was a scare— It was like a kite.

Josh: Like a crow.

Tommy: Yeah, it was a crow.

Josh: I just— Yeah.

Tommy: But it was just getting blown in the wind. And so it actually looks like it's flying. You wouldn't want to fuck with this. But the animals start to realise, right? Surely they're like, that thing's bullshit.

Michael: That thing doesn't have a shotgun.

Tommy: Ducks at parks. They're over humans. They're like, get fucked. Yeah. We've had enough of you.

Josh: A lot of issues with seagulls at the moment.

Tommy: Is there, mate? What do you know?

Josh: Carrying infectious diseases. Really?

Tommy: Where have you got this from?

Josh: The news.

Tommy: But, uh, no. 1997, confirm?

Josh: No, I actually— Seagulls, uh, there's a storey in my family where we went to a, um, uh, beach where a lot of seagulls hang, and, uh, my dad for whatever reason fucking hates it, like really despises seagulls.

Tommy: Two things he hates: it's cold fucking coffee and it's seagulls.

Michael: Because they're annoying?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I think that it was also because I feed them on it. That's a good name for it. But what I do know that he did was we were feeding chips and then he was sort of showing off a little bit, but he got the esky lid and he threw the esky lid at the seagulls. And you think they just fly away. Fucking knocked one of them and it was, ahh, ahh. And it was a busy, busy beach.

Michael: The asshole.

Tommy: Yeah.

Michael: The esky asshole.

Josh: And we And we were the person, the family were with. Yeah. One of the ladies was like an animal lover. She cut dogs' hair for like, that was her job. And so she had to like collect the seagull and put it like underneath the tree where it was going to go die.

Michael: What did your dad do?

Josh: What did he just do? That's my problem.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: Do you just run it?

Tommy: You lean into it? Nah, it shouldn't have fucking been there. It shouldn't have been annoying.

Josh: It is a bit of that. It's like, it's a fucking seagull. Yeah. In those moments.

Tommy: Haven't we all killed a bird by accident?

Josh: When, like, on cars and stuff?

Tommy: My mate Fitzie. Oh my God, murderer. He, uh, we're having fish, we're having fish and chips. Seagulls are around, pigeons are around. We're sitting there on Clarendon Street in South Melbourne, busy road. And he just was like, that was so annoying because people feed them. I mean, people like Dyl come over here and just feed seagulls. They're like, look at this cute little animal. I'll give this some little chippies. And so he's like eating and he's just on this—

Michael: ah, fuck—

Josh: through it.

Tommy: We look over, as my glance looks over, I just see a wheel eat a fucking pigeon.

Josh: A wheel?

Tommy: No, just eat, as in it just rolled. I just— as the seagull jumped, a car tire— I just— it was like in slow motion. Oh, and he's just— oh my God, I'm a fucking murderer!

Josh: I'm a murderer! You've had the day off. Oh my God, it's not ideal.

Tommy: You know what he did? Went upstairs and did a talk break on it.

Josh: Yeah, at the radio station.

Michael: Has anyone ever known anyone to actually do that thing where you give it a Panadol?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Nah, but I feel like Tommy Jacket would be prime suspect.

Tommy: I'm glad I haven't done any of that Gronkh shit. Maybe it was the way we were brought up. We loved animals. We had every fucking—

Michael: we had, we had everything.

Tommy: We had rabbits, lizards, we had guinea pigs. Yep. Turtles, chickens. What else? Snakes. Your— mine died. Yours was Remember?

Michael: I sold mine in the end.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we had lots of animals. It was like a rumour or a myth at primary school that if you, yeah, put it in the fridge. I don't think it was a myth. Well, do we know?

Michael: Someone's done it. Someone's done it. Supposedly blows them up.

Tommy: Puffs them up. Aspro, aspirin blows them up. Mr. 97, what have you found?

Mason: Just a video on YouTube.

Josh: Of what?

Mason: Hang on.

Tommy: One of my favourite videos on YouTube.

Mason: Oh, shit.

Tommy: One of my favourite. Did it just blow up?

Mason: Yeah, it's bullshit. One of my favourite videos.

Josh: Is Mr. 97 just watching YouTube fucking bullshit.

Tommy: Venice Beach. Venice Beach in California. Different seagulls over there, baby. They're huge. Like over in Spain, England, the fucking seagulls are huge. America, fat things.

Josh: What's the thing that's bigger than a seagull? That's not a pelican. Pelican.

Tommy: Go down a rabbit hole of pelicans eating pigeons. Oh yeah, it's hilarious. It's hilarious because they don't actually eat them, they're just in their beak and they fly off and it's— you can see it flapping. Anyway, Sam Gronkh gets laxatives, feeds it to the birds in Venice, and then there's hundreds and hundreds of people on the beach and these— and then he just like goes, "Rah!" and they jump up and they're just shitting all over everyone. Shitting.

Michael: Oh, that's right.

Tommy: Just all over your face. Oh, it's so funny.

Josh: What's your favourite holiday destination?

Michael: Marlowe.

Josh: Marlowe.

Michael: Marlowe.

Tommy: Remember we used to go to Marlowe?

Michael: Yeah, where you learned to drive on Dad's lap.

Tommy: Oh, that's right.

Michael: Probably Bali. I've been there 10+ times. It's very hard to beat now with kids.

Josh: Yeah. So, about Fiji, I feel like people go to Fiji when they've got kids.

Tommy: We didn't go to Fiji. Did you go as a kid?

Josh: Fiji.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: Went to Vanuatu.

Tommy: Yeah, I remember kids going to very expensive Magnum ice creams.

Josh: Ah, I was whinging. I just, I need one, I need one. And island prices of Magnum, I think was like $9.

Tommy: Well, technically, if it wasn't for Mikey's love of Bali, I wouldn't be married.

Michael: We wouldn't all be here.

Tommy: Imagine the prick of a person I'd be. Do you think I've become a better person since meeting Amy?

Michael: Yeah. I don't know if that's because Amy or— but you've just grown up a bit.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I mean, where do you stay in Bali? Because there's what, there's Kuta?

Michael: No, there's not.

Josh: So if we go— I'm going in an order here. There's Kuta, then there's Legian, and then there's Seminyak, and now there's Ubud, Lombok.

Michael: No, Canggu. That's next on the list of those. That's as you work your way up north, up the coast. Um, so we'll go into Seminyak, Canggu for a bit just because there's the rest, like, nice restaurants and stuff. But then we'll try and get down to, like, um, down south, like, um, like Nusa Dua or, um, what's on the cliff there where we—

Tommy: you got married there, mate. So, uh, um, what's it— what's the—

Michael: must have been memorable.

Tommy: Finn's Beach Bar. Yeah, look up Finn's Beach. Yeah, got there. I mean, you spent that much money in the wedding, I can't even remember the name of the joint.

Michael: I've spent 5 years trying to forget about the cost of it.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, the wedding, the debt's still there, mate.

Michael: You can forget about it all you want.

Josh: I mean, if you've been there 10 plus 10+ times. You say 10+ times. So, how many times have you been delayed based on volcanic ash?

Michael: Not once.

Josh: Really? I feel like that's all you hear about is the—

Michael: Yeah. And the coups that are going on up in bloody Indonesia and, oh, you can't go to Bali.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: Like, what are you talking about?

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: Have you ever been?

Josh: I remember when I went in 1998, there was some sort of coup. I remember people with red bandanas or whatever on motorbikes. It was all Very exciting.

Tommy: There's a sale of the red ones. Are you talking about the crips?

Josh: No, it was some sort of political thing. I just remember. And the other thing I remember from Bali was—

Michael: It's never in Bali, though. Was that in Bali? It's always up in Indonesia.

Josh: It's up in like Jakarta or something. But the— No, I just— Do you do like the monkey farms or shit like that, or is that—

Michael: I did the first couple of times. Once you've done it once, I'll probably—

Josh: Once you do it once, you do it one more time to check.

Tommy: Do you think you like it because we went there It was like a big family holiday. Grandma just died, got a bit of money.

Josh: That's literally how we went. That's why I went as well. Gran died. Gran died.

Tommy: Yeah, it's the place you go when Gran dies.

Michael: We could have at least had a toast to Gran then.

Tommy: Nah, we just were fucking, "Mum, I want to go paragliding." Yeah, "I want a fucking laser." "I want fireworks." "I want a BB gun." We did bring fireworks.

Michael: That was the good old days, mate.

Tommy: You could bring them back. I mean, the good old days were still just as dangerous as the days now. We could have taken down an aeroplane. We could have been MH380 or whatever his MH whatever it was. Like, you think about, I saw a—

Josh: weren't they shot down by terrorists? Yeah, it wasn't a couple of bogans coming back from Bali with fireworks.

Tommy: No, it was— what's the one that went missing at sea? They still don't know.

Mason: I think it's MH370Z or some shit like that.

Josh: All right, what's the Z at the end?

Mason: I don't know, it's just a flight number.

Michael: It's a Malaysia Airlines flight. But didn't— hasn't it just recently come out that it was— they've arrested two people for I feel like that'd be big for what, fireworks?

Tommy: Yeah, for fireworks.

Michael: Bringing bungas back from Bali.

Tommy: Oh yeah, goonleys they were called.

Michael: Gee, they were loud.

Tommy: I mean, it's another thing you hoarded was the fireworks. Like, this is how loose it was when we were growing up. We had, remember that order form we got? It was a piece of paper, we printed it off and we went through and we ticked off the fireworks we want and we sent it to Canberra with some cash or Adelaide anyway, and they fucking sent back a box full of fireworks.

Michael: Mate, I used to go into the city, into Little Bourke Street. Yeah. And there was a little grocery store store there and I'd go in there and I'd be like, fireworks? And he'd be like, and he'd just make you wait for a minute and they go, yeah. And then he'd go out the back and he'd bring out some skyrockets and some, yeah.

Josh: It always ended up in disasters at our house.

Tommy: What, like when you had them?

Josh: Yeah. There was one time where, you know, the one that sort of spins.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: And it got like, it's a rectangular type, it was rectangle.

Michael: What are they called?

Tommy: Cartwheels?

Michael: Cart—

Tommy: Something cartwheel.

Josh: It's like a flying, it's like a dancing thing.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But it would go on the ground. And you'd—

Tommy: Catherine Wheel.

Michael: Catherine Wheel.

Tommy: Yeah. Who's Catherine? Why is it her wheel?

Michael: Yeah, seriously.

Josh: But anyway, went horribly wrong. Dad lit it. It was always involving Dad and fireworks, but he lit it and then it went onto its side and started shooting at us.

Michael: Amazing.

Josh: And that I think was last time.

Michael: I mean, yeah. You've only got to watch a couple of Fourth of July videos and to get some laughs like that. Like in America, they go so mad for them.

Tommy: Yeah. Jack Post was just over there.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he— I saw him at the fireworks store. Dude, this— thing was fucking decked out, just wall-to-wall fireworks.

Josh: Yeah, I went in Florida. They've got heaps.

Tommy: And that's where he was, was he?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: And so I bought, I bought a bunch a few years ago and then actually Googled like, what's the deal? How do you, you know, how do you let him, let him go? It turns out that you can only do it for like agricultural purposes. So if you're trying to like scare birds and shit, that's what you use the fireworks for. So it's like this massive—

Tommy: You've got to be pretty when you're scaring them.

Josh: Well, so that's what I thought was weird. And so, what we ended up doing, I was with my mate who's American and we were— It was like 9:30 at night and we tried to go to like the sheriff's department, like the cop shop.

Tommy: Oh, you're a goodie, goodie.

Josh: And we couldn't.

Tommy: Isn't he?

Josh: They were like closed, but we called them. I just put on my like Australian accent, which wasn't hard. You put it on? Yeah. I was just like a little bit more.

Tommy: He's actually Russian.

Josh: I was like, oh, g'day, my name's Josh. I'm from Australia. I've just bought these fireworks. Where can I let them out? Like, oh, you can't unless you've, you know, for agricultural purposes, whatever. I'm like, oh, but I've just bought them. Is there any way that I could do it? And they're like, look, if you do it away from people, it'll be okay. And so, that's nice.

Michael: Well, it was great. Peng's got a similar storey moment, Peng, about going— He was somewhere in Nevada or something, and he said something similar, like you have to go to the cop shop and get the approval to let them off. And the cop loved it so much, he goes, yeah, I'll come. And so he escorted them to this like big like field where there was nothing going on. He's like, oh, let's do it.

Tommy: That's good.

Josh: Well, I actually went to the Philippines, created a whole documentary called Goodbye Philippines, which is referring to a firecracker that is so big they call it Goodbye Philippines. It's like massive. And so I went to like, uh, the manufacturing, like where they manufacture the fireworks, and, um, Well, especially the ones that are illegal in like random fields and they just go into this little shed. Yeah. And they've got like silver, like just all the chemicals and stuff that they're using. Sad. And that's where I fucked my ear because they like, as soon as, as soon as you say that you're making a fireworks documentary in the Philippines, they all just get their firework. They don't normally let them out until like New Year's. It's crazy. Like they can't even— the airport in Manila, they actually have to shut down for times because of the amount of pollution that's in the air from the day after. New Year's.

Michael: It's crazy.

Tommy: It's weird. I mean, cultural sort of things that happen in different countries. What's the favourite of what you've experienced while traveling? You know, like maybe food or—

Josh: Red envelope in China. Have you ever gotten a red envelope from any Chinese businessman?

Michael: No.

Josh: What's that mean? That's just like, yeah, you just get— I think it's like Chinese New Year. Get a red envelope full of cash.

Michael: Yeah, right.

Josh: I always wanted to be Chinese, Jewish, all of them, but like just for the cash.

Tommy: You spent some time in Germany, didn't you?

Michael: Yeah, I was going to say Germany was good. Like, the food, it's always around food. Maybe that's just me, but it is always like, you remember the food. Like, Germany, there was some, like, at the bike trade shows or some sick, like, big pastry, meaty, sausagey dishes. But then actually China was— I was, because I was travelling to the factories, like, probably every 6 weeks I was up there for a week for a period of a couple of years, and 6 or 8 weeks, and Um, you would say that they would— they employed 2,000 people. They would feed them every day. It cost them on average $1 a day to feed every per person. And so they would kind of peel you away at lunchtime and take you into the manager's area, and they'd have this person cooking for you, and they'd put all like full fish and like all these massive dishes, and they'd be on the lazy susan, and they— and you'd be just hoeing in.

Josh: Do they call it a lazy susan in China? Is that a Chinese—

Michael: I doubt it.

Josh: Who's Susan?

Tommy: Why is she lazy?

Josh: So anyway, so Carol and her cartwheels, what the fuck, who was that?

Tommy: Catherine.

Josh: Catherine.

Michael: So this particular day I said, oh, let's not worry about that, or let's not go out to the, to one of the restaurants or whatever, let's just eat what everyone else is eating. Not you sure? So yeah, yeah, let's just like bring in one of those little polystyrene boxes. And so they brought it in and I'm humming, it's basically just like fried rice and the meat you get is like 80% bone, 20% meat. Like, they're just like very rationed pieces.

Tommy: So, it's a slave camp.

Michael: And today, and this day, there was like tofu and it was like, it was really dark. And I was like, oh, what if they like cook this in like, you know, squid ink or something like that? Fancy with that. Anyway, so, and they're like, what do you— Tofu? And I was like, yeah, this stuff, like this. It was like a block of it. And I was like, oh, it's a bit ready. And they're like, Oh, no, no, that's, that's not tofu. I was like, what is it? And they're like, from the duck. And I was like, what part of the duck? And they're like, the blood. It was just, it was just boiled duck's blood.

Josh: Oh, that's full-on, isn't it?

Michael: It tasted delicious.

Tommy: I mean, we can, we can look at what they eat and go putrid, but they also are using what the animal has to the full extent, whereas here we throw out so much shit. Ah, we don't need that little bit, just fucking—

Josh: I love—

Tommy: So, they use it all. Yeah, I mean, that's— you're just getting the leftovers of everything in salami.

Josh: That's the thing. I think it's all how it's positioned.

Tommy: I felt sick after eating that salami and shit yesterday.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Just felt a bit full.

Josh: It was a dense lunch. That's what happens.

Tommy: Remember when you were in Germany and you had that random encounter with Oliver? Remember?

Josh: No.

Tommy: Fuck, I'm glad I remember the story. Snowed in.

Josh: Do you remember yet?

Tommy: Germany, 2011. I don't know, I'm just making numbers up.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And you're in a hotel because your flight couldn't go out.

Michael: Yeah.

Tommy: And then you're walking out of the hotel.

Michael: Yeah.

Tommy: And Oliver's walking in. You remember this? You don't even—

Michael: Not as well as I should, clearly.

Tommy: And so Oliver walks in. This is the best mate of mine from—

Josh: we grew up.

Tommy: Mikey's known him, you know, since we were young. And they're in Germany, everyone's snowed in, you can't fly. Was that year that like the UK, Germany was absolutely— Europe was so bad.

Michael: 2010. It snowed. Heathrow was shut down. That's where I was trying to get back to.

Josh: I do like the idea of being snowed in, preferably not seeing anyone I know though.

Tommy: Well, here's the thing, you won't remember it because you can't remember. Yeah.

Josh: And did you get on the piss? Is that the idea? Like when you're snowed in, you drink?

Tommy: No, you were just walking in, you're like, what's up? I remember you telling me this.

Michael: Yeah, right.

Tommy: I mean, I remember, I feel like I was there. I actually feel like I was there.

Josh: Maybe it's, you know, it's so weird, stories, isn't it?

Tommy: Like, memory, right? It's like we, we do our best to remember stuff. What's a childhood memory? Do you remember this one? Yeah, when I farted and it sounded like a dolphin.

Michael: Do you remember where we were? Marlow? Nah, weren't we?

Tommy: I reckon we're out the front on our deck.

Michael: No, no, it was in the bath. I was in the bar. I've got to— actually, that's a very vivid memory.

Tommy: Oh, I can't really remember it, but I remember that it— I remember something happening there. What happened?

Michael: Oh well, you farted.

Josh: You sound like a dolphin.

Tommy: Didn't it say like dolphin? What did it say?

Josh: What, your fart sounded like it said dolphin?

Tommy: It said something.

Michael: I'm cold. Oh yes, that's what it sounded like.

Josh: Your fart sounded like it was that you spoke out of your ass, not for the first time. I still do right now. It was.

Michael: It was, I'm cold. Because you were sitting in a bath in Marlow at that holiday, at that house.

Tommy: Yeah.

Michael: And all the water was gone.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: And you wouldn't get out of the bath.

Tommy: And then it's like, Bodhi.

Michael: Yeah, that's, that's funny.

Josh: Well, where would you go on? So you've mentioned Flinders before. What do you guys remember of family holidays?

Michael: Uh, Flinders was great. Like, we went there every go a couple times a year. Um, like a lot of surfing. I actually lived in Flindersford like only a few years ago, went back there. Um, yeah, Flint, we always stayed local. That's why Bali was always big. Like, that was like that 2007 trip was a big like, oh, we're going to Bali.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But how do you avoid the, uh, bogan Bali experience, do you think?

Michael: Don't go to Kuta, stay pretty out of Legian. It's very easy to avoid it.

Josh: Do you end up staying in wherever you're staying the whole time, like resorts and stuff?

Michael: Yeah, we try and just to mix it up, we'll try and move a couple of times. So, we'll stay up in Seminyak or Canggu for half the time, and then we'll go down to like one of the really nice resorts or like you just, you're quite excluded down there. So, you kind of, you don't do a lot of shopping or not that I do a lot of shopping, but you don't do a lot of travel around. You just stay in the resort.

Josh: No Hawaiian shirts?

Michael: No, I mean, the first couple of times you buy a couple of that stuff.

Tommy: You see how hard it is though? Once you have a family, the effort quadruples. Just, just the effort and thought that has to go into it. You can see why.

Josh: Is there kids club at the places you go?

Tommy: They have to be old enough.

Josh: I refuse to go to kids club. The kids are just so annoying when you're a kid.

Michael: And the nannies are great. Like, if you, if you, you know, a lot of people can't get over the trust thing. But the nannies are amazing. Like, if you can, you know, you're paying them $6 an hour because that's it. And it's a really good career for them over there, and they love the kids, and they've all got kids of their own. You end up— we end up saying to them, if you, you know, if one of your kids wants to come, bring him along because that's cool. Yeah, it's great. And take them to the day club.

Josh: Um, Hard Rock Cafe.

Michael: Yeah, in Kuta. Yeah, I just remember with Kuta.

Tommy: Well, so now I think it's happening with Hard Rock because he used to go to the one here.

Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: I'm sad it closed down.

Tommy: But he's the guy that also, if he goes to Hard Rock, he goes to Kuta.

Josh: Well, I do. Maybe I had the full bogan experience. I didn't realise it as a kid.

Tommy: Well, sure you did. When you went to Bali.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You went to Hard Rock.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You went to the—

Josh: It was Hard Rock. Maybe Hard Rock was quite like in, in—

Tommy: I mean, I stayed at the Hard Rock in Vegas.

Josh: Weren't we all bogans in the '90s? Who wasn't a bogan in the '90s? Like, aren't we?

Michael: And the thing with Hard Rock is it's all inclusive. Isn't it? So it's like all your food and your drinks.

Josh: And I wasn't paying, I was 8. Yeah, but I do remember the, um, uh, sumo wrestling. That's what sticks in my— it's funny when you're a kid what sticks into your mind. Sumo suits, and you'd wear them and all that sort of thing. Karaoke, I feel like, is a big thing for Bali, like going to places.

Michael: Maybe that's in China, like you go around China, there's like full KTV, massive building.

Tommy: What is it? What is it about that thing that they love?

Michael: Well, there's a bit of a seedy side to it.

Tommy: Is there?

Josh: What does that mean?

Michael: Well, like in China, like you can go— I've actually, because I just do not go near the microphone for singing, but there you can go to KTV and then you get all like the service, like the girls come and serve you drinks and they—

Tommy: It's a strip club.

Josh: Brothel.

Michael: It's not a strip club. It's not either of those. It's neither of those. But they— It's entertainment. Like it's the female entertainment. They come, they become hostesses.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: I feel like this is a guy trying to explain to his wife that he didn't go to a strip club.

Josh: It was a karaoke bar.

Michael: No.

Josh: It was female entertainment.

Tommy: It was no, that would just, it was neither or neither. But so it's a bit dark, is it?

Michael: Yeah. Yeah. But there's just like, you can just go and just like it is here, like just do karaoke. But there's also the add-on service of like the girls come and try and earn some money.

Josh: So, is it family friendly at all? Are there like families doing karaoke and you just don't get that side of it?

Michael: 'cause I've never been into one, but I would assume not. I would assume it's not family friendly.

Josh: Oh, really? Oh, that's interesting, 'cause I like karaoke.

Tommy: You'd be the kind of guy to end up in a what looks like karaoke joint that's a brothel.

Josh: Yeah, before you know it, you can't leave unless you spend $100 or whatever. You mentioned nor here nor there. What was the— What's the phrasing that you said? Neither here nor there.

Tommy: No, but you said something, but then our dad's saying.

Josh: Yeah, what is— what's your dad's?

Tommy: Oh, it's neither here nor there, which is one that he has— he says a lot.

Josh: Do you guys feel like you're turning more and more into your dad as you get older?

Tommy: I think you're quite like Timbo.

Josh: Yeah, like plants.

Michael: Yeah, I like plants. Um, no, I think so. Yeah, yeah, I think you kind of just can't help it. Like, that's been— I think that's a fascinating thing in life to— you, you kind of notice the the traits of your parents and the things that they do and the things that would have given you the shits when you were a kid. And then you're like, fuck, I'm that. I'm starting to do that, especially when you start having kids.

Tommy: The middle brother thing, do you think it's real? He's the middle brother. Josh and I are both younger brothers and we've both come from 3 boys.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

Tommy: And then you don't talk about the middle unless it's negative.

Josh: Exactly. Well, they don't listen to the show.

Tommy: Say fuck them, they're done.

Josh: Absolutely. They cut it.

Michael: Absolutely.

Josh: What's the, um, yeah, it is the middle child, you know, the middle child chip on the shoulder type of deal.

Michael: I don't think I've got the chip on my shoulder. It's definitely something, um, but I don't, not like a chip on my shoulder. Like, you know, growing up, Tommy was a cyclone and my older brother was a bit the same.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: And I sort of, I kind of tended to sort of just withdraw a bit. And just like, also because I went to school on the other side of town and different school to both, uh, well, Tommy tried it but didn't last there.

Josh: True.

Michael: But, um, different school to both Ant and Tommy. So all my friends were over the other side of town, and I would spend Fridays to Sundays sometimes just staying at other kids' houses and stuff.

Tommy: Do you think boys' school, all boys' school, do you think it's a difference In you?

Michael: I don't know.

Josh: Better with banter?

Michael: Better with banter.

Josh: I don't know, I didn't go to a boys' school. I'm just trying to understand.

Tommy: I think how you grew up, it was with the boys, the pubs.

Michael: I've got a very broad social group. Like, I still see a lot of friends from school.

Tommy: And do you see anyone from school, Josh? No.

Michael: Interesting. Yeah, so I don't know, maybe that's my banter wasn't good. But, you know, that can be year to year as well. Like, I remember the year of Barbies at school. They were all— they kind of didn't like each other as much as our year. And then like, it can be just the luck of the draw.

Josh: Yeah. Oh, what was Tommy like as a brother growing up?

Michael: Uh, he was intense, I suppose. That's, that's— I mean, I know you've spoken about it before on the show, like even Amy. What was it?

Tommy: He listens.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: Um, but yeah, Tommy was just intense. He had a lot of energy. He didn't take off. He wasn't one to kind of stick with authority or listen to authority. Disagreeable.

Tommy: Highly disagreeable.

Josh: Um, did you guys get along?

Michael: Yeah, yeah, we got along enough. Like, I don't have any like memories of like, oh, that was shit. Like, that was, you know, Tommy and Ant like fought a bit, but that like, that's also an age thing too. Like, he's different. Like, that's a big gap.

Tommy: Um, we've become— Ant and I have become better friends as we've got older.

Michael: Yeah.

Tommy: Although I did live with him when I was 17 for a little while, but then We work together. I think as you get older, friendships become better. Yeah. Well, you hope. I hope that just because if the problem was the age gap at the start, like you and I were hanging out, going to the park and, you know, farting together, you know, all that shit. But I think, yeah, it's weird, brother. Family stuff's weird.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, you hope that you have a nice relationship with your family.

Michael: Yeah.

Josh: I mean, what is it like at Christmas time? Jackets. What's the deal? I feel like Christmas says a lot about families.

Michael: Yeah, we don't put a huge amount of energy into Christmas.

Josh: That would be my mate Dom. Oh, Dom's coming in? Oh, Dom. Just get him to chill on the couch.

Michael: Yeah, we're not a huge Christmas family, so we kind of have done the Christmas Eve dinners and we have done Christmas lunches.

Tommy: I tend to like other families' Christmases better than ours. That's nothing. No, but no, I don't think we put Like, I look at your wife Claire and her family, and the amount of time I've been to that fucking— more than I've had Christmas dinners with my own, right?

Michael: Yeah.

Tommy: But there they put so much effort, it's like this big thing. And so there is something about your own family one. I reckon we had the best Christmas in July last year. We did a random Christmas in July at mum and dad's house. And the vibe was just great. It was just fucking—

Michael: Yeah, well, that's the other thing.

Josh: What makes you want to do Christmas? Like, because Christmas, I don't like that much. So the idea of doing it again in another time of the year is like—

Michael: But that's just a label. That's just a label. But it's just a get-together.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Michael: Because there's so much, like, there's so much anxiety that can come up around Christmas. Like, it brings up shit stuff for people.

Josh: Could you get rid of—

Tommy: Like, I wonder if there's people who know, like, Christmas and stuff, like, it triggers people.

Josh: Well, people who've got, like, family members have died, all that sort of shit.

Tommy: I mean, is that what our grandfather died on Christmas Eve?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, like, that has to be some kind of impactful thinking around that for Mum. He worked at Toys R Us and died there on fucking Christmas Eve. Fuck, how sad is that?

Michael: Busy period too. I mean, I mean, shop would have been full.

Tommy: It's fucked. And so you could— I don't know, I've never spoken to Mum about that if it's triggering.

Michael: Yeah, I just think it's like families don't necessarily like get along all the time.

Josh: Like, well, you think it should be the right, but it's— But when you're an adult and you're building your own families, yeah. Does it then become like up for discussion? Like, oh, like how much time to— Like, I know that, you know, when my grandparents all had died, then it becomes a thing of like, okay, do we need the cousin? Like, who do we need involved in Christmas?

Tommy: Like, you start cutting out fucking—

Josh: Yeah. Well, there is a little bit. No, it is a little bit like that, right? Which is like you can start to manoeuvre as you have your own family. Like if you think about it, what your Christmas was like, you might eventually have your version of the Christmas that doesn't involve your siblings or whatever because you've created your own.

Michael: Well, no, like this year I will, we'll host Christmas and we'll have both like mine and my wife's side of the family to our house.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: So it'll just be a big mix of— and actually the best Christmas I had was when we were living down in Flinders and we were like And that was a whole other story. But there was like 3 couples and we all had, we all invited all of our families down to Christmas. We set out this big long table. It was like 30 people there.

Tommy: I didn't go.

Michael: Yeah. Why didn't you come?

Tommy: No, I didn't go because we've got the deal.

Michael: Oh, yeah. The deal with Sydney.

Tommy: Well, because international, interstate family, one on, one off. So, it's where are we having New Year's? We're having Christmas at the other place.

Josh: This is another big one.

Tommy: This year we're doing both here. Which means I have to then probably do both next year up there.

Josh: And so the, um, what do you do New Year's Eve? How much pressure do you put on for New Year's Eve? Oh no, nothing.

Michael: Way overrated.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: It is, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I don't do it, I don't do anything, but like ever about anything.

Josh: No, well, I mean, I just like my perfect New Year's is like in bed by 10. Yeah, it is a bit like, it seems like a cliché But the priorities change.

Tommy: I mean, yes, but you haven't come from doing the hard New Year's like that. New— I only had a first New Year's off alcohol for the first time in 15 years recently.

Josh: I like being overseas, actually. That's the one thing Bree and I were talking about it. The more Christmases we can do where it's like, yeah, that's good away.

Michael: Yeah, like I used to get right up and about for New Year's Eve as a kid, like as a younger teenager. You do the New Year's and then you do the New Year's Day like festival thing, like Summer Days.

Josh: Oh yeah, you're a big festival goer?

Michael: No, I mean, I used to be, like, I used to like it.

Josh: Is it for the music?

Tommy: Uh, it's for the ecstasy.

Josh: Yeah, well, that's why I do wonder, like, how much of it is like, it's fine, I love this, this.

Michael: No, definitely the headline, the headline music acts are what gets you there. Like, that's how you make your decision, I suppose, around.

Josh: And then you'd go in tents and stuff?

Michael: No, no, no, no, no, that's like, that's like camping. This is just one day.

Josh: Okay.

Michael: You turn up in your fluoro polo shirt.

Tommy: Yeah, stubby shorts.

Josh: Well, you're— I feel like you're an example of some— someone, I think Tommy, you're a bit like this too, which is like friendship group. Like you've got your groups that you can go because I don't have that from like school days or whatever. So it's not like, yeah, like have you got those traditions and stuff? How do those change as you start being a dad? And that sort of thing.

Michael: Next month we're going to Noosa.

Josh: Yeah.

Michael: So, from partying to without, with friends to all going up to Noosa. There's like 6 families all going up there. We're all staying up there for a couple of weeks.

Josh: Does the dynamic change when you go from when everyone has kids to all of a sudden? Are there any cases where people are great as single people or even people in partners, but as soon as they have kids, they become fuckwits or like, is that not too much of an issue?

Michael: No. Oh no. Nothing springs to mind.

Tommy: It helps if your friends are doing it at the same time. Like Conspiracy Jimmy. He's had a baby similar time to us. So, a lot of it has to align though, doesn't it? Oh, fuck yeah. They're 3 months apart.

Michael: Amazing.

Tommy: He was like, oh shit, son, Amy's pregnant. And then a couple of weeks later he's like, yeah, and Cara too.

Josh: I mean, so is that a play? Because my parents actually planned me to be around the exact same time as I've got like 3 friends that were like part of the same, like, mothers group or whatever. And they all like, we're all like one week out of September. It was like New Year's, you know, 1989 or whatever. No, if I'm born 1990, whenever that is. I mean, 9 months before they're like, let's all, we sort of want all kids now.

Mason: Yeah.

Michael: Which is weird when you think about the conception, like setting up video chat. But no, so like when, when you get kids with friends landing on the same, in the same, like we've got a couple of like, well, um, uh, Panna, he's like, they just, we just had Rupert like 4 months ago. They were only a month behind or something, or a couple of months behind. So that's perfect because it's just an environment like they, you're just all in the same, of the same understanding about what's achievable, what's not achievable.

Tommy: It'd be cool if, I mean, the weird thing is, right, Jules Lund one of your best friends, good friend. His mum went to primary school with my mum. Yeah, our mum. And it's like, what are the chances? Because we weren't friendly with him when we were young. It was at a later stage that you became good mates with him. And so it's, I mean, that's, I like it. It's cool because I go, I want James, you know, Conspiracy Jimmy's son, to be best mates with Bodhi. High chance it probably won't happen.

Michael: Yeah, but I don't really care about the kids. I'm just caring about myself. You do whatever you want when you're that age.

Tommy: I'll be older Um, just to finish off, uh, a memory that I have that I don't know— I, I mean, it's, it's— you just told me the story.

Josh: Uh, farting, I'm calling.

Tommy: No, Mum and Dad were away and you had a gathering at our joint.

Josh: Gatherings were always naughty.

Tommy: But some gatecrashers came and you had to hose them down. Like hose them with a hose.

Michael: Yeah, right.

Tommy: I mean, either you've just been spinning bullshit storeys to me for a long time.

Michael: No, I don't remember that. No, I mean, kind of, but yeah, I mean, impactful.

Tommy: You got a hose out, there's a guy trying to get over.

Josh: I know another storey that involves the hose. Yeah, we've already told that on the show.

Michael: What about like, what did you remember the storey with Gus and the— when I— when mum and dad went away, this is what triggered this thought. And we were going through a period of making hash cookies.

Tommy: Yeah, I was making them.

Michael: Yeah, well We'll both make them.

Tommy: I make better ones.

Michael: And this particular time though, you'd made this batch and I was going out and I said, just whatever you do, don't let the dogs get into them.

Tommy: I wasn't listening.

Michael: And so, and so I was like, mate, just, just fuck, like, I don't care what you do. They were everywhere. Don't let the fucking dog, because they'll get into them. Don't let them get into these things.

Tommy: Well, they were good cookies.

Josh: But where were they? Like, do you have to worry about that with, do you have any pets now? No. Do you think you'll be a pet guy?

Michael: Well, we had a rabbit.

Tommy: Rabbit just died.

Michael: Rabbit just died.

Josh: Sorry about that.

Tommy: Sensitive.

Michael: Percy. So, anyway, so I get home and I open the front door and I literally see this little whippet leaning, like leaning on the hall, on the hallway wall like this, but up the other end of the hall. So, he's leaning on the wall and then I'm like, oh, Gussy. What's going on, mate? And I'm like, come here.

Tommy: He looked at Mike, he went, I'm stoned.

Michael: And he didn't get off the wall, but he walked to me.

Josh: He's stuck on the wall.

Michael: So he's literally like, and he looked up at me and he's just like, he's just stoned out of his mind. He's so stoned. We had to call the vet and he's like, oh, you dickhead. He's like, you can give him salt to try and get him to vomit up. Otherwise just give him a cuddle and let it ride out.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. He would have got that phone call a couple of times. I remember he— so where I left them was just on my bedside table, and he, the little rat, had jumped up onto the bed and then got his nuzzle into the fucking cookies. I don't know how many he had. I've got a video of it. I've got a little video of him just like— and he even does this thing where like when you're really stoned you can do this thing where someone says hey and you kind of double take, like you do this.

Josh: Also, your eyes don't get as quick as your head, so you're like He loved it though.

Tommy: He did that.

Josh: Do you think he enjoyed it?

Tommy: I think Gussy just went—

Michael: He was a big stoner after that.

Josh: Mikey, thank you for coming on Weekend Banter. Yeah, uh, it's the, the Daily Talk Show. We should get you back as well.

Tommy: Yeah, it'd be good having Julesy on as well. Yeah, so I'll do a full family affair.

Michael: That's good.

Josh: Yeah, thanks for the Daily Talk Show. We'll, uh, see you tomorrow for episode 400. I'm tired. Bye guys. See you guys.