The Banana Effect

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show, Episode 301. What's going on, guys? Tuesday.

Josh: Do you say 2019 or 2019?

Tommy: 2019.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Yeah, 2019. Why did you ask that?

Josh: Uh, I was just trying— I just panicked about the 301 versus 301.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, I'm not— I can't even remember. I'm bad with dates because I, I've forgotten what year my son was born.

Josh: 2017.

Tommy: Yes, because I said it was 2016. I took him to the doctor on the weekend and I said, they said, oh, what, what's his birth? 14th of February, which is Valentine's Day. I'll never forget that. But then I said, oh, 2016. She said, wrong, 2017.

Josh: She knew the answer.

Tommy: Yeah, because she's probably just wanting to confirm that all the details are correct.

Josh: And she said wrong.

Tommy: Like, yeah, wrong. No, it's funny because I was like, oh fuck. And then I justified it by saying, oh well, you know, like my wife got pregnant in 2016 and then has the baby in 2017. So because there is, it's a long period of time.

Josh: It's the equivalent of the whole, the way the car industry works when it comes into the country. It's a different date. It sort of fucks with you.

Tommy: Yeah, what year your car is, because you can have like a, yeah, I've had that recently, re-getting insurance on my car. They're like, what model is it? And mine's just on the tip over to the newer model. So I have a newer car than I thought, which was great because I had it down as an older one. It was like a, it can be late 2016 or early, you know, 2017. Anyway, my car's newer than I thought, which was great. But another thing about Bodhi, kids, I mean, yeah, we actually, we're similar. We are big babies and I have a young, small, younger baby than you, but we're very similar in terms of habitual behavior, you and Bodhi. Oh no, I just think you, me, it's '97, just in terms of how we kind of bunker into. We find something that makes us feel good, or it's like a little thing that we just like to do. Even this show, like I asked you the other day, what makes you happy?

Josh: And you said, getting up in the morning and having a smoothie with my son.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. That's a habit.

Josh: What about the show? Smoothie with my son. Go fucking make a smoothie with your son.

Tommy: And that's one of the habits he's got into. So as soon as he wakes up, smoothie. Smoothie. You want to go make smoothie?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so he's got into that habit, and there's a bunch of others like milk. So I mean, kids are very reliant on these things, so it helps them go to bed. No, I bet food, just like a little bottle to help him get to sleep. But there is one, and, and as I've gone— as he's getting older, I'm having to break his heart because I can't let it become a habit. So there's some things that we do, like for instance, he's been a bit sooky when he goes to bed, but he conned me because of how nice and how much I enjoyed it to start with. But now I'm like, no more. So he'd be sooking, we'd put him to sleep.

Josh: "Mummy, daddy." You read him a book before he goes to bed?

Tommy: Yeah, there was a lot of book reading. Sometimes 7 books. He knows every word too.

Josh: You're reading 7 books?

Tommy: Oh, they're small. They're small books. Miffy, it's amazing. Like he knows, like if I say the first 3 words before the last word, he knows the last word. So he's like almost memorised these fucking books.

Josh: Do you think he would be into if you were to actually take a book that you would enjoy?

Tommy: Nah, this is the thing. The only thing he does like, which is another fucking— it's a bad habit, Amy—

Josh: is, uh, mummy chewing.

Tommy: Yeah, I am.

Josh: That's a fucking bad habit. Don't put it on— another Gronkh move— putting it on the table. We're having a lot of— where do I put this?

Tommy: Mason, come get it.

Josh: No, we can put it in the cup. No, there's water in this. Leave it on the fucking table. So what's the best—

Tommy: Mummy TV. Mummy TV. He likes to watch, um, Call the Midwife.

Josh: Call the Midwife.

Tommy: Call the Midwife. It's like a period drama about, you know, a time where midwives were, you know, very, very important. They are still very important, but it was one of the main ways of, you know, you get a midwife out to your house to help you birth the child. It didn't happen at hospitals as much.

Josh: And so he's into this specific show.

Tommy: Yeah, he likes that fucking show. He won't watch my shows. Doesn't want to watch YouTube. I show him YouTubers and he's like, no, wiggles. But he will watch Call the Midwife. Picky little mother.

Josh: Anyway, uh, is that why he's saying mummy TV?

Tommy: Mummy TV. Mummy loves that show. Okay, mummy TV. He wants mummy TV. Anyway, the, the habit that I've had to shatter his little heart is I get into bed with him. He's got a small cot which would be like half the size of this table, and I get into it with him because he's Daddy. And I get in and I go to sleep with him, or he thinks I'm going to sleep, but then he goes to sleep and then I get out and sneak off. But he does every night, he wants it. And I've had to, like, I got in last night, I'm just like, I can't. I just had to break his little heart and he's just screaming.

Josh: And could you say, hey, I can actually, I can do it, however I can only do it at 4 o'clock. What do you mean, 4 PM?

Tommy: 4 PM.

Josh: What you need to do is getting him early, like say if you want the evening, yeah, you could say, hey, look, I can do it, I can only do it between 4 and 5.

Tommy: You can't really talk that much, but he does not— you can negotiate with him.

Josh: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, we could just say, look, Daddy, you've left it too late, Daddy can't do it anymore, but if you go to bed earlier—

Tommy: Yeah, no, he's not that reasonable. Okay, it's more if you bribe him with like, I'll give you a sticker and you go to sleep. Yes. Or I'll give you this, I'll give you a bottle or a food. Like, you can bribe him. I'm serious, we bribe him now. It's unbelievable.

Josh: What sort of stickers?

Tommy: Oh, he's got this like, um, little trucks, ambulances, uh, cars, different colors.

Mason: Blue one.

Tommy: But he's, he's becoming a real troll. Like, he'll pick one and then you'll say, oh, this one? No, no, no. And you'll pick another one and just go through that pattern.

Josh: So yeah, but he pointed at the other one.

Tommy: He pointed at the first one that I was trying to get off.

Josh: And so what do you think would happen if you doubled down on like, no, you pointed at that one because you're like feeding into the game. Yeah, because you're allowing him to, but you're like, oh no, next time you've got to be very careful of where you point because I'm taking it off.

Tommy: It is, it's so easy the way that you say it, but then like when his heart's breaking, that's why I find it so hard because I want to get into bed with him and snuggle with him because then he says, kato. Cuddle, and you just want to cuddle him. It's so cute. It's, it's, it's hard and it's fucking frustrating.

Josh: You can still have all of that, right? What time does he go to bed? 7.

Tommy: Same time as Mr. 97.

Josh: Yeah, the, the Home Alone— sorry, not Home Alone, um, what was, what was the Tim Allen show?

Tommy: Oh, Home Improvement.

Josh: Home Improvement.

Tommy: You wouldn't have seen that, Mr. 97.

Josh: No, the Home Improvement, I feel like, was at 7 PM or whatever time that was, was very close to the time. That was the final thing that I would watch before I go to bed.

Tommy: It's phenomenal bedtimes of kids. Like, he wakes up, he goes to— he goes back to sleep 4 hours after he's woken up for a nap, and then another 4 hours on, he goes to sleep for another 12 or 10 hours.

Josh: So the risk of going— getting him to go to bed earlier, it's not going to really help though because he'll just wake up.

Tommy: He'll wake up earlier.

Josh: But if you get him— if you get him at 4 PM, could he wake up at 9 just before you go to bed Nah, nah, you want them to have a full night's sleep.

Tommy: It's in your best interest. You don't want to have to—

Josh: So why not get him to go to bed at 11? Because then you just have no personal time.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. And routine for the kids, like, is it— routine is so important, getting them to bed.

Josh: Routine could be 11 PM.

Tommy: Yeah, it could be.

Josh: So if you did 11 PM, he would probably get up at 8?

Tommy: You would think, but he'd probably troll you and say, sucked in, I'm up at 6.

Josh: And that's probably because of the light, maybe.

Tommy: Yeah, many things. I don't know, they've just got a little body clock. We don't set an alarm really. He just gets up at 6:15 like every morning. Up, mummy, mummy.

Josh: Does he know? Oh, so he yells out for Amy?

Tommy: Well, he yells out for both. He varies it. Mummy, daddy, mum. Like, it's—

Josh: yeah.

Tommy: And then I usually get him up because we've got the smoothie routine happening. Yeah, it's my— it's best thing of the day. Sorry, but I mean, this is good. But having a smoothie with your son is even better.

Josh: I've started— we got so many pieces of fruit from the fruit box that we took all the banana. All the bananas have ripened very quickly.

Tommy: Yeah, that's what happens.

Josh: We've also had an issue of my mate works at Mars, Wrigley, and so we've got heaps of chewing gum. Oh yeah. The problem is we've got so much chewy and so many mints that the whole cupboard anything that's in there smells like mint now. So I had a cracker the other day, it just tasted like mint.

Tommy: Oh, and it wasn't— I mean, that's a mint slice.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Less calories.

Josh: And so I had to, um, we've had to move all of the chewing gum.

Tommy: Mason, Mr. 97, serious thing I need you to research. Um, Amy told me this, that bananas, if you leave them next to other fruit, ripens the fruit quicker.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: What do you know about it? He doesn't even have to Google it. Yeah, what's the deal?

Mason: Nah, they give off some sort of chemical when they ripen and it ripens all the fruit around them.

Tommy: It's a bit like you when you're on dates, just putting off some—

Josh: He just completely looked down at his phone.

Tommy: No, but look it up because that's— I was like, no, no chance. So if you just leave a banana— that's why you've got all your ripe bananas. Do you leave them near your other fruit?

Josh: I leave them next to all the mints apparently. Okay, so, but they're all— they've browned very— like, not brown is the wrong word, but they've ripened very quickly. And so we have so many, uh, bags full of fruit. Yeah, that, like, of bananas that we've put into the freezer.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. They, they do freeze for a long time. The thing with— I don't know how we've got here, like, how precious we are. Like, you've— have you seen the banana problem where there's like, they actually won't put the deformed but fine bananas into the, the ones that they sell at the supermarkets, and they're throwing out tonnes and tonnes of bananas based on people not actually wanting to buy them. Big babies, too brown, too large.

Josh: Well, big baby in Sydney, Rowie, one of our listeners.

Tommy: Oh yeah.

Josh: Uh, remember his issues with the fruit?

Tommy: Well, I think that was damaged fruit and it was being, um, covered up by the farmers. That's what he had worked out. But the kid, like Bodhi, I give him the bad bit, which isn't like— there's nothing wrong with it, it's not rotten, it's just like either less nutrients. He doesn't give a shit. So it's only as we get older that we 'You give a shit about these things?' And I mean, some kids— like, I have always gauged— like, I grew up with a father that was saying, 'Ah, it's fine.' Um, you know, my dad was a prisoner of war. He used to eat oats with— my dad's dad, my grandfather was captured by the Japanese.

Josh: And how was he captured?

Tommy: Well, he's in the war and he deployed, um, I can't remember where it was, somewhere over in Asia. And, and then he— they didn't even start firing. It was like they got captured straight away. And he got taken to this prisoner of war camp. It's amazing. I've got photos, I'll bring them in. Yeah, and it's like him and his mates all just like so skinny, just there. And, um, my, my auntie knows a lot of the history.

Josh: What, what was he doing in the military?

Tommy: Oh, he's a machine gun sergeant or something like that.

Josh: That's cool.

Tommy: So yeah, it's pretty full-on. But he, yeah, he got captured and then was having to eat weevils. So he would eat them because of the protein. Like, he would— had no option but to eat oats with weevils crawling through them, which are like maggots.

Josh: Weevils?

Tommy: Yeah, weevils.

Josh: Isn't it interesting there's all these rules around war? Like, there's actually like— there's certain things that you've got to treat people certain ways. Like, there was a, uh, a plane that was from India that went into like Pakistani air, um, airspace or whatever, and they shot it down. And the— so the fucking army, the military guy, like the— what was it called? The air— the pilot. Yeah, like landed in Pakistan and they went and apparently— like I saw a video on Twitter. I've got to preface this with I don't know anything, so— but they were all like in— they were all beating him and shit, like all these, um, village people. I think of village people. Yeah, it's a bit of that vibe. But no, uh, all these people from India, from Pakistan, sorry, was hitting this Indian dude.

Tommy: It's horrible.

Josh: And they ended up taking him in, um, but they were like, uh, the Prime Minister of Pakistan said we are treating him under military law, or like there's all these laws.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, ceasefire is like you're fighting some, you know, opposition and then they just break. No one shoots each other, they're like having cups of tea.

Josh: It's very confusing though, isn't it? Yeah, because it's like because you can't even shoot, like, if you've got a boat, like a ship with a white flag with the red cross through it, which is like a hospital, you can't shoot at it. I think it's good.

Tommy: I mean, it's them—

Josh: it's so weird, though, isn't it? It's very weird.

Tommy: Yeah, it's very fucking weird.

Josh: You can do all this stuff, but it's got to be based on—

Tommy: yeah, and if we go over this line, you're not allowed to come out at us. I mean, war would be different these days. That's why I don't see war happening these days like it did where you would sort of— I mean, it's happening, I guess it is happening, but like on a world scale. Like if Australia— as if like people are going to land and come on our shores there at Bondi Beach just fucking—

Josh: well, they don't need to anymore. They could just like fucking put, uh, bad code into things. I just have this vision that like the— you think about all of the security cameras that we have.

Tommy: You've been saying this a lot.

Josh: Yeah. And so what I'm just imagining is There's a specific brand of security camera that I'm seeing everywhere. Yeah. And I was just thinking about like, you know, there was the, um, revelation that there was a very, very, very small chip that was planted into all of these servers in Amazon. Do you know this thing, Mr. 97? In Amazon and Apple.

Mason: Yeah, I heard of it.

Josh: Yeah, it turns out that like China had put into a bunch of these servers these very, very, very small things things that basically allowed them to do a bunch of stuff. Like, so basically they could maybe still access the servers while they turned off, or doing all this crazy shit. Imagine if every security camera had a chip in it that China had put in or something like that, right? And so that if there was a war or something was happening, or it could be happening right now, yeah, they could have control rooms with everyone. Like, so imagine you've got— we've got all these security cameras here, they're just logging in and watching all of them. Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't that be crazy?

Tommy: Fuck, I mean, at least we'd be trying to entertain them with our show.

Josh: They're like, there's some weird units. Like, I wonder if—

Tommy: not quite sure about these boys.

Josh: What the fuck are they spending all their time doing this podcast thing? We do have some listeners in China. I wonder who they are.

Tommy: What do you think they're actually— I mean, because this is the thing, you— it's, it's weird where you sort of I mean, you, you're across technology more and its capabilities than I am, so it's not something I'm that scared of. I'm probably the punter that says, yeah, put the CCTV in, I'm not doing anything. Yeah, which, like, keeping us safer. I mean, the thing is, it, like, some of the shit I did as a kid definitely couldn't have done now based on how many cameras there are. Yeah, they're everywhere. Train stations, like, there was CCTV, but like even building sites now you see We used to wander onto old building sites and like look around shit. It's like, you know, trip— not tripwires, but like sensors that activate.

Josh: Why have this idea that like all these cameras like just, oh, went over a wire and oh fuck, the cameras. No, it's really, it's not that hard.

Tommy: We have—

Josh: yeah, fucking here.

Tommy: I know, I know. There's no trick.

Josh: You know that there's not like a piece of string. Just watch the string.

Tommy: As much as I'd love to do it, it would be fun at a building site. There's no reason for a tripwire, but the Yeah, but yeah, so you're across it more. So I mean, what are they going to do then? That's what you're saying, like war would not be what we once knew it as, it would be some other type where they're putting some bug into the payment system or— fuck, it is, it is scary. I mean, this is where— are you investing your time actually getting worried about it?

Josh: No, you know, that's what I was saying to you the other day, you were like getting really into something in the news. It's like, what can we do?

Tommy: Yeah, but That is one approach to— for anything. If anything ever happens, it's like, oh well, don't invest your energy there. But some people have to invest their energy somewhere for change to happen.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And whether you're saying it's not—

Josh: I wonder how much— like, I was thinking about like North Korea and stuff. Like, I was getting right into North Korea for a bit, and I was just like watching CNN and just going down rabbit holes. It's like, what am I actually What am I getting out of all of this? Like, I would literally anywhere I would go, I'd be like, "Put Shane Edelman." Like, this was like peak time when we thought Kim Jong-un was going to do something crazy, and then just sort of nothing happens and they're all friends.

Tommy: He's a part of the big baby club. He looks like, he looks like a real big baby.

Josh: Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un. Yeah, two big babies.

Tommy: Oh, did you see Donald Trump? It was just, it was on Twitter. Came out a photo of him and Melania Trump, his wife, and it was like totally not her. And so they were saying, look it up, Mr. 97, um, Twitter, Melania Trump steps out, fake, fake Melania Trump. They've always been saying that there's a fake Melania Trump that is like steps in when Melania can't be fucked.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: You know, I mean, you have a blow-up with your missus and you're the president, she, I don't want to fucking come with you, so you're going to get the fake one. And so there is— oh, have a look. Um, fake Melania Trump. It totally doesn't look like her, whether it's a doctored image. Yeah, there she is.

Josh: Oh, with sunnies on.

Tommy: Yeah, sunnies on. I mean, that is her. It could be. This is— it's— it is a conspiracy.

Josh: Yeah, it's, uh, it sort of looks like, um, that's the one there.

Tommy: It looks— is there a fake Melania Trump who travels with the president? Imagine if that is actually what's going on.

Josh: I mean, the thing that I thought was interesting is the— remember when there was the inauguration and there's a shot of the guy walking down and he's got a fake hand? No, that one. So there's a— if you type in fake hand inauguration, there's basically a, uh, a guy who's in the Secret Service who basically has a fake hand. So go into images, creepy hand realistic, go into Google Images. And so basically he's got this fake hand so he can be behind, he can be basically be holding an AK-37 or whatever it's called.

Tommy: AK-37? What is 47? AK-47?

Josh: 37 is a sort of a lighter weight. Maybe. Anyway, it's a, yeah, people can just Google it.

Tommy: Yeah, so it's like that, so he's actually got his hand underneath.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: That's actually, I mean, it makes sense if he's the, if he's protecting The president. I mean, the prosthetic, the prosthetic stuff on his thumbs, kind of up like that. Yeah, I remember this.

Josh: Yeah, it looks super, super weird.

Tommy: Yeah, there is some gag that we could do around a fake hand or some fake, fake arm.

Josh: Well, even like magicians and stuff very much get into fake hands and things.

Tommy: Yeah, you've got a mate who's a magician.

Josh: Yeah, Simon Taylor. We actually need to get him on the show.

Tommy: We need him to do some magic.

Josh: Yeah, because the, um, like that you can go to shops, like I've spoken about, um, Penguin Magic. Oh, that's right, Magic Tree.

Tommy: There's a shop in the city, I used to go there and it was a magic shop. I bought a magic set when I was a kid. Yeah, it—

Josh: yeah, not really good for minimalists, like, because they've got like a very one, one sort of purpose. Like, you buy a deck of cards that are all fucked, like, they've, you know, They're a trick. You can't use them for doing Snap or whatever. The only thing you can use them for is specifically a one trick.

Tommy: The only game you know, Snap?

Josh: Yeah, I couldn't think of 31 or 21. Are you—

Tommy: I don't know, 21. I think it's 21, not 31. Okay, okay, 37.

Josh: Yeah, I don't know. Okay, well, we actually, we had a lot of banter online about the scissor, paper, rock.

Tommy: Yeah, and the general consensus would that it was the one I said, rock, paper, scissors.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, which I think is the American thing, but Sean from London, he listens to us on the, um, on the tube. Yeah, that got me very excited.

Tommy: Going through the London tube playing rock, paper, scissors. Yeah, listen to the boys. Yeah, get around the boys.

Josh: I've got— I don't really have much else today.

Tommy: I would say, um, one thing, when I did go to the doctor with Bodhi, Mr. 97, yeah, I booked in for a skin check. Yeah, and I have like— the last time I had a skin check, this is to look for cancer on your body, so it's fucking confronting to book in for these things. But I just did. I was like, you got to book in months in advance because it's a bulk billing place. And so everyone, every man and their dog goes there. Um, the reason I did do it, because I saw a girl that I follow on Facebook. She had this thing on the side of her head and she went to the doctor and the doctor was like, nah, it's all good. It's just a little thing. And then she went to get a second opinion and it was cancer. She had to get it cut straight out. She has this epic gnarly fucking like 30-stitch.

Josh: What's the conversation you have with the doctor?

Tommy: Oh, she—

Josh: bro, you fucked up.

Tommy: She was so ropeable. You should have seen— she was just like, fuck doctors. I mean, this is the thing, you go to a skin specialist if you want, but the doctor shouldn't dismiss it, right?

Josh: Like, if you should be like, yeah, get it checked out.

Tommy: But you said your reaction was, I'm so fucking scared. Yeah, is that what you said?

Mason: Pretty much, yeah.

Tommy: What is it like?

Josh: Do you have someone that—

Mason: No, no, no, no, I just, I get burnt so easily. Okay, I'm just so, so worried about getting it.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, it's worth going to get checked. Yeah, and this is, it's like, I think there's something in men. I mean, we'll have to all get a finger in our ass one day looking at our prostate, shitting into a bag and sending it off.

Josh: You have to shit in a bag as well? Bowel cancer?

Tommy: Yeah, so yeah, bowel cancer, prostate. Yeah, and so one of my old PT clients There was actually a great initiative in Victoria. I don't know if it happened elsewhere, but you go out and cheque your mailbox and there's a kit that was sent out to everyone where you'd put some poo into it and send it off.

Josh: I mean, you've shit in a lot of bags before. They haven't been specifically for that.

Tommy: There is something about, like, I listen to you say, I'm so scared. Have you ever got a skin check?

Mason: No.

Tommy: Because you're scared, right?

Josh: Yeah. Stop being a baby and get the check.

Tommy: No, but I think I'm, I'm there. It's like thinking about this shit is terrifying.

Mason: I think it's— I think people probably think it's pretty redundant for me because I'm so young. Like, they're just like, it's a bit of a waste of time, you're only like 19.

Josh: Have you got any moles?

Mason: No, I got freckles and I'm worried one's gonna get like mixed up.

Josh: Mixed up in what?

Mason: Like, you can't— it's hard to tell which one's like a mole and which one's a freckle.

Josh: Uh, I don't have any moles.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But the thing is that I do have like my nose, I've burnt it up. What are you looking at?

Tommy: Your nose, mate. You're petting your nose. Hmm, my nose.

Josh: I always thought it was pat, not pet.

Tommy: It's like a petting zoo.

Josh: A petting zoo, I thought was—

Tommy: Petting.

Josh: No, I think you're right.

Tommy: Petting your dog. Petting your dog.

Josh: I feel like that's an American thing though. Can you type in patting your dog?

Tommy: Individual dogs. Also, if you type in the thing where you'd like to be petted, common areas are the base of the tail, under the chin. Yeah, so it's petting.

Josh: Yeah, no, but I also think pat your dog.

Tommy: You can pat your dog. Yeah, fucking pet. You can pat.

Josh: What's the difference between pet and pat?

Tommy: Not sure.

Josh: When we touch an animal, is it pet or pat?

Tommy: Yeah, which one is it?

Josh: Uh, the top answer, one answer, this is from stackexchange.com, uh, may I pet your dog or may I pet him? This is going down a rabbit hole. Yeah, as for pet or pat, Both are correct. Pat connotates—

Tommy: You were petting your nose, mate.

Josh: Connotes— What's that word? Connotes?

Mason: I think so.

Josh: C-O-N-N-O-T-E-S. Pat connotes a light, quick stroke with the hand.

Tommy: Yeah, that's what you're doing with your nose, bro. You're petting it.

Josh: No, that was pat.

Tommy: Oh, you're patting it?

Josh: Yeah, I think it was. I don't know. Anyway, so the point is, the concern— Mr. 97 and I were talking about it. Because he was saying I need some sort of zinc. Yeah, because I'm concerned— the concern that I have is that I, I don't get acne anymore. I went on Roaccutane, I don't get acne anymore. I get a few on my fucking head. My head's a bit of a nightmare. But the nose, I feel like when I get really hot, I get these things that almost look— I reckon they feel like, um, what people would get when they start to get a cold sore or whatever, you know, you get the little pimply dot, like a real specific pimple. Yeah, so I'd get that on the top of my nose and there's just this— it just ends up— it's like a blocked pores or whatever, and it just like ends up going real gross.

Tommy: The point—

Josh: my— I don't know, actually.

Mason: You can't find a zinc that does—

Josh: oh yeah, so the zinc, the zinc, I'm worried that it's just going to add extra oil and clog up the pores more.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, we never had to— I didn't think as much about sun safety when I was a kid. Like growing up in Australia, it's fucking loose. It was loose, everyone was just running around. Sure, you slip, slop, slap, but nowadays the fear in young Mr. 97—

Mason: I've got a UV app on my phone.

Tommy: Yeah, when we want UV updates, we ask Mr. 97.

Josh: What's the UV at today? I'm gonna guess it's very low.

Mason: It's probably a—

Tommy: no, I reckon it's quite high.

Mason: Probably a 4.

Josh: I think it's a 5.

Tommy: So it's very— 12 is like epic.

Mason: It's a 3 at the moment and it's gonna go up to a max of 5. Okay. Yeah, it's a low to moderate.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: All right, but we should— you should get your skin checked. Like, that's the thing, if it's free and you can go and do it.

Josh: I don't do it. I hate any form of appointments.

Tommy: Well, hang on, is it because you're anxious about what— that's not actually going to happen?

Josh: It's not anxious about that. So it's the— it's the waiting. It's the— because I would love to go to a psychologist.

Tommy: Nah, the storey you've spun around that— I've said we can go to couples counseling.

Josh: But it feels like I need to go properly and do all that sort of thing. But it annoys me, just everything that's going to happen is going to be annoying. Yeah, but I'm going to get there and they're going to be like, do you have private health? Like, I know the questions that you've heard me have. Like, before we started going to Casati's downstairs, when I would go— what are you laughing at?

Tommy: Just the storey because it's funny.

Josh: No, before that, I would go up and say, hi, uh, could I please— if it wasn't a place that I know, I'd say, hi, could I please have a large almond flat white?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Um, and I'm paying with PayPass, thank you. And my name is Josh.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so I'd say it on that whole thing. And some people—

Tommy: what you're doing is preempting any question. They might ask how you're paying, are you using cash? They might ask your name because they've got to write it somewhere.

Josh: I don't want— and so some people, it throws them completely. Yeah, right. Some of them are fucking idiots and they say, sorry, yeah, uh, what was that? Like, I had to do lots of paper. Yeah, the whole thing I have to do again.

Tommy: You know why though? Because they have their way of doing it. So when you put in, like, I find it so frustrating when I go to ordering something and I say it the way I've wanted it to be. Like, I think it's like, how do you want the chicken, blah blah blah, do you want fries? Like, I, I just say it all like you 'cause you know what they're gonna say. And then you have to go back to their process.

Josh: Fonda is the worst. You know why? Why? Fonda, for whatever reason, I don't think they can do it. Mexican joint? Mexican joint in Melbourne. They can't take the table number first.

Tommy: Oh geez.

Josh: So I'm over like 12, 12, 12, 12, 12. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm table 12. I'm like, okay, what would you like? And I say, can I have the quesadilla? And they said, what was the table number at the end? I said, I don't know, what was it? I've told you, I've told you already.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: So I mean, this is where robots robots will replace these kind of people if you're not engaging in it. But then again, you're being a robot asking.

Josh: But I— the thing that I think about with the psychology thing, all this sort of stuff, it's like, um, uh, Bree is apparently— she got a bunch of blood tests done and she got a voicemail from the doctor saying, hey, we just need to see you, it's not urgent, but we need to see you to go over your results, right? Bree forgot to get back to them. They called the next way. Hey, just wondering, and, um, they said you are low in B12. Okay, the question is, what, what else is gonna— what else is happening in that chat? Yeah, whatever. Like, if she's low in B12, let's just find some B12 stuff.

Tommy: I mean, there is a, a good system in Australia of bulk billing, so it's free to go to the doctor, which also they get paid for that consultation. So if you go to the doctor and it's $150 that's subsidized, they get paid. And so maybe it is a part of— there is a bit of that.

Josh: Yeah, well, I just wonder about like the psychology thing. Like, I do like the idea of like— I was like, fuck, if I doubled down, if I did 3 days, or imagine if I did Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Tommy: I think it's too much. I think you'd only need once a week. Honestly, dude, what you're talking about is being vulnerable, having to go through a process you don't want to, which it's a different version of vulnerability.

Josh: I have actually no issue of like telling them absolute everything.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: The issue I have is I just don't want to have to deal with their fucking—

Tommy: what they're saying—

Josh: the waiting room. Not even that, but just pretty easy though.

Tommy: Like, it is, you go to the— another good system in Australia, you go to the doctor and say, I think I have mental health problems, issues, you know, shit going on. And they say, we'll give you, you know, 11 or whatever sessions. And so you get subsidized. So then you just book it in And you literally rock up. I've done it. Rock up, sit there. Hey Tommy, come in. Sure.

Mason: Hey.

Tommy: And then you cry together.

Josh: I wonder if the psychologist cries much.

Tommy: Fuck, it's a tough job, man. It's— if— yeah, being a psychologist, tough, tough. Hearing a lot of shit.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, I think I'd like it.

Tommy: I think you should go.

Josh: As in to be a psychologist? Oh, it's— which is different.

Tommy: I mean, it's always What they say is there's a lot of fucked up psychologists, so I could imagine. Yeah, but no, I think, I think, I think we should do the thing of going together. Yeah, for working out, because we do this thing so fucking much. We're 301 episodes in, going for 10 years. We're talking today about our 1000th episode and where it'll be.

Josh: Uh, episode 900 might be on Mr. 97's 21st birthday.

Tommy: Now that's close, that's going to be a loser.

Josh: That's going to be—

Tommy: we've got big plans for it.

Josh: Little sip of red wine.

Tommy: So if we're going to get to, uh, 1,000 episodes, we might need some fucking—

Josh: we can't fucking—

Tommy: need some good strategies of how, how to deal with each other, how to, how to stay happy. It's a marriage, this thing's a fucking marriage.

Josh: And the thing is, maybe, yeah, maybe fucking 97 turns 21 and then Mom and Dad realise that we're fucking—

Tommy: we're done, you know, we're consciously uncoupling.

Josh: Yeah, is that what it's called?

Tommy: Well, that's what, um, some celebrities have called where they've got kids and it's very complicated. Um, was it Chris— Chris, um, Chris Martin from Coldplay and Gwyneth? I think they consciously uncoupled, which is a—

Josh: Gwyneth Paltrow, she's got Goop. Yeah, a bit of a Freak Show. Well, Goop is a website that believe that like you put stickers on your wrist and it will help you be zen or something. Yeah, it's about as fucking scientific as Bodhi. I want that one, like I just want that one. But, um, no, I think the thing is with the psychology thing is it's just like if we could take the admin out of it, but maybe that's what's required.

Tommy: The shit, like there is a bit that's required so we could all— anything we do, we could find something that's like in the way.

Josh: Uber for psychologists would be good though, or something along those lines.

Tommy: You want it— you want the fast— I mean, psychologists to you or something, where you're getting someone out. I mean, I went to where we— where our office is as a kid. I went maybe 200 metres away from here, like in East Melbourne or something. Uh, no, it was actually Johnson Street in Collingwood then. It was like a shitty ratty area back then. This was when I was 14, 13, and mum would take me on every Thursday, and I'd cry. I didn't want to go, but I remember it being beneficial for me. Like, it's a, you know, a time where I wasn't going through— I wasn't having a great time with school and just the system and everything, just fucking balls dropping, pimples on the face, just needing to sort my shit out. And as much as I reluctantly went, I remember it as a time of, you know, it was beneficial. So I think pushing through all the bullshit you're telling yourself, I need to go to the hairdresser first.

Josh: Geez, the hairdresser. There's also issues now that over the weekend I bought a Moccamaster coffee machine.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: The thing I didn't think about is what is the way that I sold it to Bree was, uh, I'm gonna save a huge amount of money on not getting coffee.

Mason: Yeah, right.

Josh: And so the problem is that I've built quite the bond with the cafe downstairs and I like them a lot. Yeah. And so I can't work out because it's not like, say if they're a hairdresser, it's not like I'm going to another hairdresser.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: I'm cutting my own hair. Yeah.

Tommy: Which, yeah, is it something you face as a personal trainer? I'm going to start, uh, you've, you've helped me, I'm going to just try myself.

Josh: So like one of the things was I was like, I literally thought about what other, because The reason I feel not guilty about, but just feel uncomfortable— awkward— well, not awkward, uncomfortable maybe. Well, was because the last conversation I had was I'm like, uh, guys, I need— we're gonna have to set up a tab for me, right? So I've gone from setting up a tab to starting making my own coffee. And yeah, so there's a big sort of in-between bit, there's a big conversation. And so I was thinking, I was like, And because I've like— yesterday was an abomination food-wise, we spoke about it a bit on the show.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so I'm like, maybe I get salads from there, maybe they can be my local salad.

Tommy: Then it defeats the money purpose.

Josh: Well, no, because I need to eat anyway.

Tommy: You make food at home, bro.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Have a house now, prep your food, bring it as Mr. Number 7.

Josh: What do I buy from them?

Tommy: I don't think you need to buy anything.

Josh: This is—

Tommy: I mean Imagine all the people that are in the same boat, because I feel you. It's like, it's not like you're switching coffee shops, you're actually just stop— stopping going and you have to walk past the door to get up to where we are.

Josh: Well, the problem was that I had gotten so much— I made so much this morning. It's easier making a big batch than it is a small batch.

Tommy: You can make it for me too, so I'm happy to. But I think business meetings and shit, we can still do it. But it— yeah.

Josh: And so the thing is that I got the big— what is that called again?

Tommy: What do you mean? The thermos?

Josh: Thermos?

Tommy: Yeah, let's— fuck, they're hipster these days compared to the thermos my old man had on the building site. Thermos.

Josh: Thermos.

Tommy: Thermos.

Mason: Thermos.

Josh: Thermos. Okay, um, because I, I'd filled the thermos, that was completely full. I was like, fuck, I've still got a cup in my jug. Yeah, so I ended up having to fill up my mug like a mug. And I was walking to work, yeah, with a mug. It's good, which seems environmentally friendly. But you mix the mug with the fact that I had my walkie-talkie strapped to my bag, and people are like, this guy is a fucking weirdo.

Tommy: I saw a dude yesterday, it was cloudy, and he was wearing like UV sunglasses.

Josh: What do you reckon?

Tommy: UV hat. He had gloves on, like he looked like he was something out of the military, and he was holding an umbrella.

Josh: Was it Luke McGregor?

Tommy: No, it's not Luke McGregor, but you can find him around Collingwood with an umbrella. Yeah, but that's being sun conscious. I think this guy is insane. Yeah, sure, this guy, I think it was actually fully—

Josh: or maybe, but maybe he does have a skin condition.

Tommy: I don't think—

Josh: what was it? Where did the insanity come from?

Tommy: Just that he's standing looking at the road for like— just, he looked like a statue.

Josh: Was he just waiting to cross the road?

Tommy: No, I guess you can buy all those things there all the time. I see him there all the time. It's quirky. Then there's quirky people that have just stepped over the line.

Josh: Your notification is going crazy. It's a daily talk show, everyone.

Tommy: Anyway, these are the challenges we're facing here at the big media company— how to walk past the front door of the coffee shop and get through to our office.

Josh: No, I did well though. I said hi to Nikki this morning.

Tommy: Yeah, it was— and Mason, classic, laughs at Josh because he knew the awkwardness or the insecurity. And it's like I laughed because I knew exactly what you were laughing at. You laughed at like when you don't want to fucking be outed and then you overcommit and the hi was like, morning. Yeah, because you just went, hey, I would never do that.

Josh: I'm not— hey, hey, what's up with Josh today?

Tommy: You went 120%.

Josh: Yeah, I feel like that was probably the best option potentially.

Tommy: She's still going, what the fuck is wrong with him?

Josh: We had a question as well. We had a question on email. Hey guys, PO box, is it still a thing?

Tommy: It's still a thing, guys.

Josh: I've been paid, I've got to pay renewals up in April and I'm keeping it going.

Tommy: How much is it? Uh, $130?

Josh: I think the whole year, maybe $200 and something.

Tommy: It's not bad. Maybe you can business expense it.

Josh: PO box 400, Abbotsford, Victoria 3067. I've been checking the PO box, we haven't received anything since Santiago's Oh, um, little choccy—

Tommy: it peaked.

Josh: What were they? What was that called again?

Tommy: I don't know, they were like a chocolate-filled biscuit.

Josh: Oh yum, yeah, that was delicious. But yes, you can send us mail. Um, chocolate, just very quickly, people have— if they've stuck around this long, because I, I said at the 20-minute mark that I've got nothing else and we've managed to do okay, fill 18 minutes. Um, stickers, we, we haven't done a sticker run for a while. Yeah, well, should we open it up?

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, this month, what are we, halfway through the month? Yeah, we'll have them delivered by the end of this month, so into April.

Josh: So we open it up. If you want a sticker, send us an email. Yeah, hi@thedailytalkshow.com, subject line stickers, and then just shoot us your address. Yeah, and we will, uh, we'll get them delivered, especially if you're, um, if you're like Chelsea from Tennessee who is part of the Squeegee Club, I would suggest sending an email about the stickers because the stickers are going to arrive before the squeegee.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely. In reality, that is in process though.

Josh: So we'll make the final day Thursday this week, Thursday being the 14th.

Tommy: Now we have to go to the end of the week based on, um, people listening overseas because it's like a day behind.

Josh: Okay, so the 15th of March is the close-off. We'll mention it at the end of every show.

Tommy: Yes, hi@thedailytalkshow.com.

Josh: Show.com, stickers in the subject line. Give us your address. Feel free to write something in the message so we can say hello.

Tommy: Yeah, how'd you discover us?

Josh: Yeah, and you hate about us. We'll send, uh, we'll send stickers. You know, we pay, we cover the postage. Yeah, we're ballers here at The Daily Talk Show. Uh, hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address. And I was saying to Pete, uh, I was like, mate, he's like, yeah, we get a few emails on the podcast. I'm like, we haven't been getting that many. It's like, yeah, I think people are just lazy, like specifically for our show.

Tommy: So if you have been thinking about it, it's a big feat if you are listening most days. It's 5 shows a week, but dig deep.

Josh: Yeah, you know, send us a little—

Tommy: send us an email.

Josh: Uh, we'll see you tomorrow, guys. See you guys, bye.