Finding Mr. 97 A Life Partner

Josh: The Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 288.

Josh: What's cracking? What's going on, guys?

Tommy: It's Thursday.

Josh: Yeah, it is.

Tommy: It's—

Josh: this week has flown.

Tommy: It has. We had Diavela on yesterday.

Josh: Yeah, and then I'm going to Sydney tomorrow night.

Tommy: I forgot about that.

Josh: Yeah, well, it's one of those times it's like I'm coming into work and then we're going straight to the airport, so I need to make sure that I pack my bag before.

Tommy: Are you a night before Or the morning of?

Josh: Well, I've travelled with you and I know what you are. You're a morning of, which is a fucking nightmare for people around you. The night before is better for everybody. And I've— on that trip when we were in New York, we were the— I was the night before guy because we had such an early morning flight, but we were so tired because we'd literally done 15 hours of walking around New York podcasting. You know, it was fun. But I just wanted to get the maximum amount of sleep, which was good. But you actually deal with it, but you're a bit of a zombie. I think there's— so I do it the night before. That is what I am. What do you mean? That's what I am, as in you said, what are you, a nighttime type of guy? So I am that guy based on the high chance of fucking shit up in the morning. Which is—

Tommy: whereas I think the only reason that I do it the morning of is because Normally people ask me to do it the night before and I just hate people telling me what to do.

Josh: Oh, you hate it. It's you. What Amy said to me, she repeated something that she said I said, "Oh, you hate working for people because you don't like getting told what to do." And I hated being told what I said.

Tommy: And so that's what Amy said that you said.

Josh: Which there is a high chance I've said that before, that I hate being told what to do. Which is one of the reasons why I don't like working for somebody else or working in a big company or something like that. But then I thought about it, it's like I actually don't like being that person that says I just hate being told what to do because more than that, because there's so much more than that. And, and what I—

Tommy: Mark Zuckerberg didn't create Facebook because he hates being told what to do. Yeah, but we are big babies.

Josh: We are 100% big babies. But what I actually like is the reward. There's too much pain for me in working within another, within a sort of big corporate or business environment.

Tommy: Someone else's agenda.

Josh: Yeah, because I like, I like paving my own way. I think that's both of us. It's like, and so being told what to do is there's some sort of control or power removed from you because now you've been, a path has been laid out for you.

Tommy: If someone tells me to to do something, it's extremely destructive because it won't be able to get done, unfortunately.

Josh: I mean, I've reverse psychology'd you. That's not a term, but I've reverse psychology'd you.

Tommy: Really? What's an example?

Josh: I think just in some, look, there's no one big example, but I kind of start to understand how to work you.

Tommy: I like that.

Josh: I'm working you.

Tommy: I don't mind being worked.

Josh: Well, I think we complement each other in respects to how we could work each other. Like I can work you, with no real resentment on you're actually gonna do that and you can do that. I don't give a shit. I can just ask 'cause I don't care.

Tommy: I think the biggest way we work each other is maybe asking questions and making us think about like, we don't have to say, I think you should do this or do that. But you can say, oh, like what's the plan for this? And then it forces us to be like, oh shit, okay. I'll have to get that sort of—

Josh: 100%. I think like in a business, like, We're talking about majority of my life working for myself. So I am my boss. But then as the partnership comes together, there's two bosses within the same mission. But then it's like, I see you fucking around. I can't go, mate, just, you're always fucking around. That's counterproductive, right?

Tommy: Well, we all have our fuck around moments, right? Because Bri was like, oh, what were you doing? What are you like, what were you doing today?

Josh: Thank you, mate.

Tommy: 'Cause she was working. Thanks, bro. From our office. And my thing is it's like we have this great thing where it's like normally when you're in a business, there's this thing where you have to pretend that you're working all the time.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Tommy: But the good thing with what we've got is it's like we have our projects. If we've got, there's sometimes when I'm going to be editing, it's like you can be fucking around doing sort of creative stuff, mulling things over in your head and vice versa. And so I think that that's what we've got worked out pretty well so far.

Josh: I'd say an update which I haven't even told you, of something I felt like leaving yesterday. I was like, fucking, I've got this edit covered. So I'm working, you know, I'm finalising a big project we've worked on. You're doing your shit. And I was like, we both got it. Like, it should feel like that. I think that's when it's like, when I'm fucking around, it's actually 'cause I am not feeling great or I'm just needing a bit of fuck around time. But you can't both have that, right? I think that's when, and it's very hard and destructive when you've got a business partnership in the business, there's no work or there's nothing going on. And I think that's what we've had a few blowups and it's probably been based around just stuff sort of bubbling away. We've been working hard on generating things, but we're actually not in the middle of the thing, of doing the thing. And so it's weird because it's like, it feels like there's momentum now.

Tommy: Yeah, the blowups were— we had them on the show, it was like 2 weeks ago or whatever. But now it feels like we've got the, you know, it's pre-prod, it's this beautiful point where it's like you've got pre-prod going, you're having conversations. Yeah. But also what I like is there's still time for, for me to be doing reaching out to people in regards to this podcast.

Erik: Yes.

Tommy: Doing that sort of thing.

Josh: Yeah, okay, it's 'cause when you're working for someone, like you said, you're pretending to work but you're not actually working. So visually it looks like you're doing something and that's not doing something.

Tommy: And it eats at you anyway. Like I think that it's like destructive because it's actually more counterintuitive than just being like, you know what, today I'm rewarding myself because I know that tomorrow it's gonna be fucked or the day before and things like that.

Josh: It's the biggest, I think the leap for us is having multiple people working with us and knowing how we go about our process. And sometimes there is the fucking around and seeing somebody. So like, this is why being a manager is such a hard challenge and people micromanage is based on looking at someone and going and watching their every movement going, are you doing something? Are you doing something? What's happening? And so there needs to be a moment of letting go, I think.

Tommy: Or needs to be output driven as well. It's like, are you getting the thing done? At the, like, where it becomes an issue is when someone's like, I don't have enough time in the day to finish this thing. It's like, well, then the manager has to say, okay, well, this, what about this hour here or this 30 minutes there?

Josh: Or have you been poorly managed before?

Tommy: Oh, heaps of times. Yeah, I just, I remember the radio station. Yeah, I remember at the radio station I was managed at one point.

Josh: We're always happy to take, take down some, um, yeah, big media companies.

Tommy: Um, no, there was, uh, the radio station I remember I I got a manager who, they were very new at sort of managing people and they were managing me remotely. And someone had taken a photo of me like pretending to sleep with a sombrero on in a beanbag. And we had our, she was down from like Sydney or Brisbane or something where she was based. And she sat me down and she said, look, Be honest, Josh, there's been word come to me that there's been moments where you've actually been sleeping at work. And I just laughed so hard. And it's so, when they're trying to like say something that's quite sort of, I know that you're sleeping at work. I just couldn't contain myself because it was a bit of gear. And do it, yeah, so that was good.

Josh: What I found with managers is that they're just making it up. Like I've always seen past, maybe it's because we don't fit into the hierarchical structure of a business. Like, because we're like, dude, I'm fucking over here bullshitting, you're over there bullshitting, you're trying to— you're telling me what to do. It's like, I'm actually on the ground doing the thing more than you are, and I'm seeing the holes.

Tommy: I got it.

Josh: I had a—

Tommy: in my career, I feel like I've had a lot of dual managers where I've had sort of multiple people managing me. It's always a clusterfuck. Yeah, but it's brilliant because I feel like as a kid I used to always work off mum and dad, right? Just fucking like, if Mum said no, I'd go to Dad. Dad said no, go to Mum.

Josh: At least you know those two were working you because they know who, how you, how you are.

Tommy: But two managers, you do the same. Yeah, I just remember there's so many times where it's like I'd ask a manager for something, they'd say no, I'll just go to the other manager and they'd say yes.

Josh: Yeah, I, I had a, I had one radio manager who just so incompetent, but the, the empathy was that he was fucking swimming. Yeah, like just like treading water, but just couldn't, like, I think I wanted to be told what to do. And it's like, if I'm in this structure, dude, you make the call. And then it's like when the call was made sometimes where it's like, I felt it was wrong, is like, oh, then it's like, can you say something? It's hard. I mean, yeah. I look at people who can work for other people and fucking take my hat off to them.

Tommy: 'Cause there is something nice about it too.

Josh: 100%.

Tommy: There's times where it's just, if you respect, like Collis and Cyan at Envato, that's one of the few times where I like really felt like I respected my bosses and wanted to do well for them. And that was, I was at Envato for 2 and a half years.

Josh: Hence why we haven't taken them down.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly.

Josh: No, no, I get it.

Tommy: And so like, but it takes a unique manager because they own the company. So they could make the cooler shots and all that sort of thing. I want to know when Amy was saying about the, you don't like reporting to people, is that what she said?

Josh: She said you don't like being told what to do.

Tommy: Was that in a blowup where she was identifying using that as ammunition to why you weren't doing something?

Josh: Potentially, I can't recall. I think I was just, yeah, I actually cannot remember what, we have so many conversations about so many things and that was just a part of it. High chance of it being me pushing back on. No, but But it really stuck with me because I'm like, I don't want to be the guy that's just— I can't work with someone because I can't be told what to do.

Tommy: That's the concern with the— I think what I'm always balancing too, right? Which is like, I don't want to be perceived as the big creative baby. However, Google Gaga, if the dummy fits, where? Yeah, I was a couple of days ago, I was at— this is just a quick gripe. Yeah, okay. The Book Grocer. Yeah, the Book Grocer. Can you explain the Book Grocer to people?

Josh: No, I don't know the Book Grocer.

Tommy: It's the green logo. They have every book for like $5. It's the books that didn't sell. Okay. And so they set up these like pop-up—

Josh: That's a sad place.

Tommy: It's the saddest bookshop because it's all the shitty books.

Josh: What was sadder? Uh, VideoEasy doing a pop-up store with DVDs in 2019 on Smith Street in Collingwood.

Tommy: This was sadder because, you know, you can identify, and I would have empathy for every author. Yeah, but there it's not. It's sort of like a— it's a really small pop-up location. It's really shitty books. I just thought it was funny because I was walking out, as I was walking out, a lady was walking in, and the girl behind the counter said, oh, just so you know, we're closing in 20 minutes. And the lady's like, pardon, sorry? She said, we're closing in 20 minutes. I just thought it was such a power play because who the fuck is spending 20 minutes at the Book Grocer.

Josh: Yeah, especially the Book Grocer.

Tommy: It's not that style of bookshop.

Josh: Yeah, it's walk in, is there a bargain that you're looking for?

Tommy: So fuck the lady at the Book Grocer for one, but I get it, she was sort of elevating, she was acting as if she was at like Avenue Bookstore, like a really nice sort of— Yeah. But the reality is it's very much like, you know, do you remember Jeff's, you know, Jeff's Shed or whatever?

Josh: I remember Jeff's Shed. It's just like a big convention centre here in Melbourne.

Tommy: I remember they've done it— It's named after Jeff Kennett. Was it really?

Josh: Well, Jeff's Shed. Jeff's Shed. Pretty sure that was within the Kennett.

Tommy: But what's the shed?

Josh: It's like a big shed. It's just like a big tin-roofed—

Tommy: But how are you saying Jeff's Shed slowly to me? How does that—

Josh: Jeff's Shed.

Tommy: I understand that it's a guy named Jeff, but how does that make Jeff's Shed?

Josh: Uh, yeah, yeah, this building is also known as Jeff's, J-E-F-F-S, Shed, after a former premier of Victoria. So now it's called the Convention Centre, which is These are everywhere.

Tommy: Yeah, so Jeff's Shed though, but they, um, I remember years ago they had a book, a big book thing, and it's just the shittiest books you can imagine.

Josh: I mean, it's at the same place where Jeff's Shed is, is also Sexpo.

Tommy: Yeah, have you— you've been, or—

Josh: yeah, I've been to Sexpo. It was— I think it's— they market the shit out of it.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And it's, you know, alluring to— I think there is some fascination You grow up dabbling in porn.

Tommy: Do you feel that most perverts are on the unattractive— why are perverts generally more unattractive?

Josh: Yeah, because that maybe it's a deep dive, so it's like they haven't been shown affection or they haven't been able to get this thing and so it just goes on, it goes down a spiral. But maybe I think there's a problem, like people who are recluse watching porn, it goes deeper into the types of porn they're watching. Like it's crazy. So I went to this thing and a lot of the time it was like, "Hahaha, we'll go to this thing." It's like a bunch of people, guys, girls, and we're just sort of walking around. It's shit. It's like, I mean, there's—

Tommy: Do you think that people are generally more sort of— sounds very judgmental what I'm about to say, but do you get that, you know, like whenever you watch a swingers documentary, you watch all that, or like nudist documentaries.

Josh: I know what you mean. They're never the hottest people.

Tommy: They're never the hottest person in the room.

Josh: Well, yes, I know what you mean. And that's the people who are there.

Tommy: Wait, so the people that go there are the weird units? Weird, yeah.

Josh: Yeah. And so I think we thought the mask we put on to go and be at a place like that is laughing.

Tommy: Haha, that's funny.

Josh: They look at us like, how much? But then you see and it's like, it's weird. It is gross. There's like I mean, what is— what sex attracts, you know, everyone can do it. It's like stim— if you feel bad, it can make you feel good. So it's like you get the kinds of like— there's desperate people, there's not desperate people, there's— it's got everything. It doesn't, it doesn't judge. So you've got all kinds and they've just got these displays and all this weird shit.

Tommy: And porn stars, do they go?

Josh: Yeah, they're there, strippers and male strippers and Picasso, the dude who paints with his penis. Which when I was at the radio station, fuck, I was doing the digital content, making the video and we got Picasso, just this like nearly 50.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Very tanned, probably spray tan. At least he's doing it the healthy way. Just wearing the leather. He's the dude you're describing, right? The kind of quirky looking, he wouldn't be identified generally as a babe. And so he's just found this quirky path where he paints with his penis. And I had to film it all. So I'm like in— I made a great video.

Tommy: Did you actually? Because I filmed something similar when I was at the radio of someone getting a wax, like a Brazilian wax. Oh yeah, yeah. And the problem was that they got a female to film the whole thing which is great. But, and she'd beautifully cropped out her vagina from the shot. And you're just turning over my phone because it's very distracting seeing all things come through. No, anything else?

Josh: cPanel.

Tommy: Very boring. What's happening with cPanel, Mason? Nothing.

Josh: Anyway, so you—

Tommy: SSL certificate stuff again. Good bit of gear for someone, I guess.

Josh: I don't even want to tell him to shut up because he can't be told what to do.

Tommy: Because I'll double down. We can start going to SSL.

Josh: A tutorial on secure something something.

Tommy: I don't know, this is where we secure.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Anyway, anyway, no. So they beautifully cropped out the vajad, the vajayjay, the vajad. Even vajayjay is ridiculous. Yeah, it sounds like we're doing a 2004 sex show on the radio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but they cropped it out. It was all great.

Erik: Yeah.

Tommy: The thing was, what they didn't realise was that there was a mirror on the, a full-length mirror on the door that they closed when they started filming. And so it was just her vagina was completely in frame.

Josh: And who was this person? Do you know? Do we know this person?

Tommy: No, because it was Fifi was doing the wax.

Josh: Oh, so this is a listener?

Tommy: Oh geez. Was actually, I think someone who just worked at Brazilian Butterfly. And so the challenge was Fifi having to wax this chick. But the thing was that I got asked to do all the censorship. So I had to stay back when everyone left it because we're open plan office. They said, Josh, don't work on this now, wait until the evening. And then I just got like the blur tool, just keyframed the whole thing.

Josh: And so yeah, you were getting an eyeful of it the whole time.

Tommy: Yeah, well, no, I was okay.

Josh: Turn this on, turn this off.

Tommy: It's very tasteful because I just put it on and then just sort of moved it around.

Josh: You're a professional. It's not like— you know, you deal with that shit. I filmed the weirdest thing I ever filmed was a Japanese bondage video, which was only like 6 months ago. Yeah, not that long ago. I mean, Picasso was— Precasso, I think he's called. Prick, prick, you prick. Yeah, Precasso was weird. Definitely a weird experience. It was— I could see he had this like— he smelt like a really clean man, which made it even more gross.

Tommy: What does clean smell like? Coconut?

Josh: No, coconut would make me think of beachy and lovely, but this was just like some, you know, like soap.

Tommy: Okay, what's your shower gel smell of choice?

Josh: I just use whatever Amy's using there. But anyway, so the bondage was these two women, one was, they were mates, and so what I created was this tasteful black and white rope scene, textures, skin, nipple, all this stuff for an artist to use at an exhibition.

Tommy: Did you feel like you could direct?

Josh: Uh, well, I mean, I didn't know what this was before I even filmed it, so I let— one of the girls had gone and lived in like Amsterdam or something and actually studied this form.

Tommy: Bondage? Yeah. And what's the deal? What's the difference between Japanese bondage and normal bondage?

Josh: It's, I don't know, just a different name. These use specific ropes and there's specific types of knots and so it's like Knots, I could get into that. Well, here's the thing, right? They— you get to a point so where they're fully tied up and there's this letting go of fear, like fear, like when you were tied up. And so I kind of understood where people might find the pleasure in— it's like a mental game, right? As much as it is sexual as well, it's like it is very mental in sort of losing all control. I think you would hate it, dude. You would panic attack. I think it would, because at points there's like, they have a pair of scissors close by based on people freaking out, like losing their mind mentally, because it's like you're totally constricted, arms are behind.

Tommy: Can we do it being clothed? Should we do it? You can do it.

Josh: Shibari. Shibari.

Tommy: Would you do it to me? Would you shibami?

Josh: It's too weird. I mean, with clothes on it, it's fine.

Tommy: It's fine.

Josh: I should probably get a kick out of I'm submitting you, bitch. I told you, you are my bitch. Anyway, so that was weird. That was weird. But the video turned out really, really nice. And so it looked really tasteful. But what was weird was in the moment, it's like, it's not what it looks like.

Tommy: Yeah. So did you feel a bit—

Josh: No, it was like we were laughing and like, oh, get that bit.

Tommy: And so it's like, did you make jokes to try and and, you know, ease the room?

Josh: No, I didn't. I didn't feel that I— I wasn't feeling— I didn't slip into the awkwardness of it. I let them guide it and they weren't. And it was quite nice.

Tommy: Did you have to like speak about the anatomy? Like, I don't think we've got the breast shot yet. Can we just— could we get one where the rope is just slightly away from the nipple?

Josh: Nah, I was professional.

Tommy: But that's professionalism if you're directing.

Josh: Yeah, but I was professional in terms of not needing to— followed what they were, I followed their lead and I worked with what they had. And so that's where it's like, I think it would, I didn't want to go down there, but that was the weirdest thing I filmed.

Tommy: My brother's gone on Tinder.

Josh: Well, I was gonna say James.

Tommy: No, not James.

Josh: He's about to have a baby.

Tommy: Jeez. Wife's having a baby, so jumping on Tinder.

Josh: I'm sure there's a bunch of scumbags there that would be at Sexpo as well.

Tommy: Now Jake's on Tinder.

Josh: Good. Is this, I mean, you're talking about on the podcast. So is it common knowledge?

Tommy: Well, if you're on Tinder it is.

Josh: Sorry, is it common knowledge within your family? Not just, so it's not common knowledge. Is it Jansen knowledge?

Tommy: I don't know. Most of the stuff on here is not Jansen knowledge.

Josh: Well, it's now the Daily Talk Show's knowledge that his brother's on Tinder.

Tommy: Yeah, on Tinder. And so the question that we were raising is when it comes to the photos, how far back can you go with a photo? 'Cause he was posting photos and like, "Oh fuck, I realised that photo is 3 years old." And then he was doing the game of like, Do I look any different?

Josh: All right, you— the, the amount of times I've had guys tell me that they'd been on a date with someone from Tinder and they get there, it's not the person that was in the photos. And so I think it's just—

Tommy: but that's like, that's a, that's a very obvious lie.

Josh: No, no, sorry, sorry, not when I say not the person, it is the person. Yeah, but a very different version of that person. I'm not saying fat or like skinny or whatever, it's like You can FaceTune the shit out of a photo, you can have a full face of makeup, you look totally different. And like a guy, if he's a rigged shot, I don't know.

Tommy: I think I would want to lead with my uglier photos, don't you think?

Josh: Well, I mean, we're too out of touch. Yeah, dudes in relationships.

Tommy: Yeah, but what would you do?

Josh: The single game. But I would just always lead with what's a recent photo, what's authentically you, um. Because it will come up later.

Tommy: Yeah. And would you be self-deprecating in yours, do you think? Oh, you're not a real—

Josh: I was on Tinder for— I'm just trying to wrap my brain around it. It was very, very new, um, but—

Erik: and I—

Josh: and I— nothing ever happened out of Tinder for me. I connected with a bunch of people and I saw Pete. He's heaps of people I knew and I'd always try and connect with them to then have the banter like, ah, you're on here, we're actually That's just Mr.

Tommy: 97Q, just go to the mic.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, we've got a single guy in the room who's 19. This is prime Tinder time, baby. What's up, goo goo gaga?

Mason: Never used Tinder, actually.

Tommy: Have you?

Josh: Have you downloaded it?

Mason: No.

Josh: You've never been curious?

Mason: No, lots of like a few of my mates are on it, but, uh, I just mess around on their accounts.

Josh: Okay, so you're doing fun. I mean, I've done that. I've done the swiping for a friend before.

Tommy: How do you feel about us helping you set up a Tinder profile?

Mason: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: Yeah, what's— I mean, what's the pushback on why haven't you yet sort of created a Tinder?

Josh: Yeah, when all your mates are doing it.

Mason: It can't be asked.

Josh: But what's behind the can't be asked?

Mason: What's— oh, you gotta put in a lot of time to set up your profile, talk to people.

Tommy: You spent 4 hours yesterday building out Tommy's Wikipedia page. Surely you could, we could push some of this to your Tinder account.

Josh: Dude, I know we pay you, but maybe just when we're paying you, you can put in a bit of time for this.

Tommy: What do you think? Is there any little bit of insecurity with it? Is there, I guess—

Josh: You with the boys?

Tommy: You live at your parents' place. Is that part of it? You don't know where you're going to take them? You've got your own little bit out the back, but I also don't— Yeah, what is it?

Mason: No, I don't think there's— I'm fine to do it. There's nothing. I just haven't gotten around to it.

Tommy: Yeah. It hasn't been a priority.

Josh: No. Have you, uh, so you're 19?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Have you had a girlfriend?

Tommy: No.

Josh: Not like a— so did you, did you go to an all-boys or public co-ed school? Boys and girls. So no girlfriend, 19. I mean, maybe we put this in the— maybe this is the dot points.

Tommy: I don't know if it's that appealing.

Josh: I think there's something appealing about someone genuine. I think Mason, Mr. 97—

Tommy: I just don't want to position—

Josh: we can't put him as Mr.

Tommy: 97 because we're And we're not being presumptuous. We asked Mr. 97 about his sexuality as well before.

Josh: So I mean, to be honest, if you're gay, mate, it would have been a lot easier, I reckon.

Tommy: Well, Christian Hull could have hooked us, hooked us up.

Josh: You're a good-looking bloke. I know a bunch of gay dudes that—

Tommy: what do you think, they're easier generally?

Josh: Well, I just know I've— the amount of friends that have, you know, said, oh, looking for something, like, I just think it would be easier. I think there's a—

Erik: there's a—

Tommy: there's more elements with the female stuff that's gonna be a bit harder?

Josh: Dude, the difference in Grindr and Tinder, a lot different.

Tommy: So, I mean, we heard one of the Christian Health stories. Yeah, they're pretty one-off. There's so many of them. I reckon it's probably less likely, maybe it's you're as likely to find an ice head on Tinder as you are Grindr.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, I mean, what are you looking for?

Tommy: Yeah, what's it?

Josh: I mean, are you looking? Have you, uh, do you think about this?

Mason: No, not really.

Erik: I think—

Mason: I feel like Tinder's probably the wrong place to go anyway.

Josh: So you want like an old school guy, isn't he?

Mason: I don't know, it's pretty— it's pretty whack. Like, you're not— you're not going to go there for like a long-term thing.

Erik: It's—

Tommy: you could. There's lots of people who—

Josh: yeah, but that's—

Mason: that's weird. Wouldn't you just rather like meet them in person or something?

Josh: So Mr. 97, I, um, when I was working for Triple M doing the roving reporting, when I was doing the fake signature trying to get into places I did one on— Can you pass my water?

Mason: It's actually the deodorant.

Josh: No, what I did was, um, did a segment on speed dating. So I went to a speed dating night. Dude, there was 3 people there. So 2 people were there and one had known another mate that had got married from doing speed dating.

Tommy: It definitely— I remember in 20— 2013 or 2012, 2013, doing— being the digital content producer for Fifan Jules, the radio drive show. And we had callers where we said, have you gotten— have you had kids through a relationship that you had on Tinder? And there was a yes. That was 2012. Yeah, it's been fucking 8 years or what? No, 6 years, around 6 years.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: So Tinder's developed. So what do you think Well, if you were to give us some constraints around what you're after, what you're looking for, then we might find a better app potentially.

Josh: Maybe Bumble is huge. A lot of people say Tinder's shit ass.

Tommy: So Bumble is sort of more, sort of, I don't know.

Josh: I think it's like the area around you, but I think you're right. Like in terms of finding that, for me using those kinds of things is like, I've always been the type that I want the initial spark. And I don't know if I get it by just— I just do not get it by just doing that.

Tommy: So what do you— what's the prerequisites for a relationship? What are you looking for?

Josh: Um, oh, he's awkward, isn't he?

Mason: Probably, yeah, probably like authenticity. That's probably the biggest one because it's— I don't know, just like going on Tinder and stuff, I feel like that's a— I don't know, not everyone, but I was—

Tommy: bargain is more your crew.

Josh: Does it scare you a little bit?

Mason: Like the going on Tinder?

Josh: Yeah, I mean the thing, the thing that you construct in your mind about what then happens after that, you know, having to go and meet them. It's like some more— one of the things you said is like the person I want to be is the person that's a bit more socially— what'd you say? It was, um, you remember like socially comfortable? Yeah, yeah, yeah, better in social environments. And so I, I, I can understand that that would— like, I remember going on dates, it was fucking nerve-wracking.

Tommy: I'd fucking hate it. I think Facebook would make me feel like finding someone on Facebook would be potentially easier because you've got sort of the mutuals, you can understand what they're like. Like, they, they haven't built the profile for dating.

Josh: The beauty is that you don't need to know all this stuff either. You don't need your head around all that shit.

Tommy: I would like to sort of create the full story.

Josh: Yeah, but that's the problem, dude.

Tommy: Family tree.

Josh: The storeys are just, you know, we've made everything up. So what is all the construct?

Tommy: Yeah, no pressure. What, what have you got in mind in regards to— if you think about your narrative, you want to have kids. And shit. Yeah, so what's—

Josh: ladies, Mr. 97.

Tommy: Yeah, he's ready.

Josh: He sees my son, he melts.

Tommy: Little kitty.

Josh: Yeah, he loves, loves Bodhi.

Tommy: No, but the other thing is, if Mr. 97 was a, um, what did I— how did I describe the people from Sexpo? Oh, perfect. Weird. Yeah, yeah, if Mr. 97 was an ugly pervert, I wouldn't be suggesting being He's a good looking non-pervert. And even Bree says, "Man, he's a catch." So I think that we've definitely, we've got some great asset within the show that's not only able to produce great content, but he's a stunner. So what are the constraints? Describe what you're after. 'Cause you want, if you want kids and you want, like, you're gonna have, we're gonna have to, I don't wanna be pushy, but you're gonna have to pull the trigger at some point. Don't you agree?

Josh: Pull the trigger in, in, in every regard. Well, I mean, you can tease into it. Like, you can know what you want and then sort of evolve. The thing is, dating is— there's an evolution of it.

Tommy: But you also— there's a— have you been on a date before?

Mason: No.

Tommy: Okay. No. All right, well, we could start there.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So, um, what, what would be a good date for you? What would you—

Josh: how about this? If someone's— if you were to meet somebody, what would— like, and you're the person leading the date, what would you do? What would you do? What does Mr. 97 do?

Mason: That's a tough one.

Josh: Other than his tax return with them.

Tommy: Yeah, Mr. 97 does tax returns at 3 AM with his friends one night. So yeah, if you're wondering why he's ever tired. Okay, yeah, what would describe the date?

Mason: Yeah, I don't—

Josh: Where would you take her?

Tommy: No, probably it was the sound of crickets.

Mason: Um, I don't know, out for dinner somewhere. I don't know where.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: I mean, we got some contacts at Nando's. Probably work something out there.

Tommy: Yeah, man, you'd look like a gift card. Yeah, it looks like a bowler. The boys only give me gift cards. Yeah. Well, we could definitely, I'm sure we could, if we said to Kat from Nando's, we wanna have the first Mr. 97's date at Nando's, could you hook us up?

Josh: Can you do something for us?

Tommy: And it's the perfect thing 'cause it's not, you know, people nowadays talk about the guy shouldn't have to pay, the girl shouldn't have to pay.

Josh: Don't have to worry about that.

Tommy: Yeah, what about a sponsor pay? It's perfect. So just give us some stimulus. What are you looking for? What would you do on a date? We just need to know this information to help you.

Erik: Yeah.

Mason: Um, what do I do on a date?

Josh: Ad-lib here, bro. We don't edit.

Tommy: Yeah, this is— these gaps are quite telling, aren't they?

Mason: Yeah, I don't know. I think, I think just a first date of just like talking and stuff. I have no idea what it is.

Tommy: There we go.

Mason: You just like wing it. I don't know. Yeah. Wing it.

Tommy: So you're talking—

Mason: See, go with the flow.

Tommy: And so if— would you be up for instant messaging beforehand, or do you think that's a shit way to sort of start the whole thing?

Mason: No, I think it's, I think it's all right, but I wouldn't— I don't know, just going straight on Tinder and finding someone's probably not— okay, what I do.

Tommy: So how are we doing it? So rather than criticising Tinder, what do— how are we actually going to— you're an ambitious guy, you're quite focused, you found us. How are we going to find someone? What's the tools? What are we going to use? Do we need to use Asana, Trello? How do we sort it all out?

Josh: Jeez, um, we're still here, guys, we haven't dropped out.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't, uh, wish we had a camera on Mr. 070's body language. It's great, he's just stressing a little bit.

Josh: We're going to give him a break, we're working him into it here. But I think here's the thing, if you are wanting to be the person that is more comfortable in social situations. It's very hard to be in a yoga class and say, hey, Kat, I'd love to take you out.

Tommy: Oh, well, no, he's not taking Kat from Nando's out. I don't know if that's appropriate. There's a rule, no clients.

Josh: That's hard though, that's hard. And so I think there is something in, like, it's probably worth, like, your intentions are good, using sports, using a platform to then sort of, you know, start messaging, hey, you know, catch up. There's plenty of ladies that are not just looking for Tinder, for sex, for that. Yeah. And so if anything, there's probably more women that aren't just looking for a romp.

Tommy: Well, Jake put that on his profile, I think. What do you say? Like, in like, not just looking for sex or something, maybe in that. So I think that's fine. But so, okay, so the first step though, if we were to take a very first small step. Yeah. Um, and Do you have any questions for us that could prompt to help you in which direction you're going?

Mason: What do you mean in which direction?

Tommy: Well, so like, are you like, you know, is it no-go zones?

Josh: Is that what you're saying?

Tommy: Like, no, no, no, it was more like a dating advice. Would be happy to give any dating advice. Yeah, as to, uh, successfully dated dudes.

Josh: Um, yeah, no, I think it's, it is, it is a game of like, you got to be in it. To sort of learn and understand yourself in the dating scene? Like, I know it's so cliché to say I'm in the dating arena.

Tommy: Have you got many friends that are girls?

Mason: Uh, no, not really. Okay. After school, no, not really. Like, in school, yeah, but then just afterwards, so I've really focused.

Tommy: And so what are you looking for? That's probably a good thing. What's your type, do you think? That's perfect. What's your type? That's a good one.

Mason: Uh, Probably, yeah, probably blondes.

Tommy: Okay, sure. Yeah, go on.

Mason: That's, that's a start.

Josh: Um, I mean, these are the realities. You don't have to have a type, bro.

Tommy: Yeah, I meant sort of like what, like what gets him excited. Is it girls who like going to the movies on a Saturday night?

Josh: I think we're defining two types: the, the online type, which is only physical appearance.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Because that's all you got from the get-go, or you've got a personality.

Tommy: Yeah, what's the weekend? Yeah, you're spending a weekend with your partner. What are they, what do they look like? What do they talk about? What do they care about? Uh, that's an easy one, I feel.

Mason: Ambition.

Tommy: Ambition.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, someone who's ambitious.

Erik: Yeah.

Josh: Um, I, I, he's struggling. Some, I, I reckon I know you well enough now. Yeah, I think you want someone that you can actually have some good conversation with. Which sounds like everybody, but I think for you it's true.

Mason: Well, more like deep stuff.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, not surface of bullshit. Someone who likes and cares about what they eat. Yeah, because he's Mr. 97, he's the— Yeah, health, nutrition, health and fitness. Nutritionist.

Tommy: If you had to choose between someone who loved CrossFit or was into running, which one sort of— CrossFit. CrossFit.

Josh: You think it embodies a bit more of what you're—

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: You're looking for— yeah, I think, you know who—

Tommy: you know what we need?

Josh: We need dating advice from our man on the ground in America, Eric.

Tommy: That's a great idea. So we've been talking about getting Eric on.

Josh: He's our American correspondent. We signed him up last week. We found him on the internet, kind of like Tinder but not. Our relationship is, um, it's blue time.

Tommy: It's moving, moving forward very quickly though.

Erik: There we go.

Tommy: We're just calling Eric on FaceTime audio.

Josh: Yeah, here you go, Eric.

Tommy: I might end up just end up calling him if he doesn't need some hits for Mr.

Josh: Nines.

Tommy: Oh yeah, do you want to just hope he answers?

Josh: We don't know what time it is over there.

Tommy: Uh, Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Eric, mate.

Erik: IRS, how may I help you?

Tommy: IRS, good, good tax gear. What's going on, mate?

Erik: Uh, let me see, it's like 6:15 in the evening, right? Um, oh, we're live. Never mind. Okay, um, hi.

Josh: Hello, hello, Eric. We've actually got something pretty specific to talk to you about, uh, today, so we'll just, we'll just—

Tommy: I didn't do it. Not, not in regards to, to any crime, uh, we've got, uh, Mr. 97 who we've been talking to today, and, uh, we're thinking that it could be a good opportunity to help him out in the dating scene.

Josh: He's 19, Eric. He's never had a girlfriend. And he hasn't been on a date yet. Um, yeah, he's looking for love.

Tommy: And so we're trying to— have you, have you, uh, have you used any?

Erik: So you called the black boy who was around a bunch of preachers and asked him what to do about a sex life?

Josh: Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Tommy: Not even sex life, mate. We want to know, have you ever done the internet dating thing?

Erik: Intimate dating thing? You mean, um, okay, like Tinder? Cool.

Tommy: OkayCupid? RSV.

Erik: I don't know if it was Cupid. I've been shot by love before, if that makes any sense.

Tommy: What do you think that, that, uh, Mr. 97 should do with the dating scene, uh, whether it be online, offline? What's some— do you have any advice for a 19-year-old?

Erik: Do I have any advice for a 19-year-old? God, I don't know. As soon as I was just 19 yesterday. Let me see, uh So, you're the married people, what are you asking me for?

Josh: Let me see.

Tommy: We're so far out of the dating game and we feel like we could be potentially giving him bad advice. Yeah. But what should he be like?

Josh: I think if you were to, Eric, the way you deliver your content on your Instagram, I want, if you were to make a video about, for the single guys out there, looking for love. Here's a bit, you know, like pull on some sort of general knowledge about life connection with people. I think that's what you're good at. Give us, give us your, uh, give us your, give us your, uh, your dating wrap-up for Mr. 97.

Erik: So, um, Mr. 97, um, number one, cute is not important.

Tommy: Cute's not important.

Erik: It is, but it's not.

Tommy: Okay, great.

Erik: Uh, from a guy who's had one of the most hottest girls in town, it's not important. Yeah. Um, number 2, it's best to know who you are and what you want before you start dating. Because if you get a relationship or into a relationship based on she's hot, then eventually she's going to get ugly, especially when you get her knocked up.

Tommy: Sure.

Erik: And she starts to sag.

Tommy: Yeah.

Erik: Then you may not like her anymore. Yeah, so it's, it's, it's— that's important. Um, they say opposites attract. I don't really know if that's a thing. Yeah, I think that, uh, so, so if I had to wrap it up in a minute, I would say, here I am, take me or leave me.

Josh: Yeah.

Erik: And if she really— if she's willing to take you in the morning when your breath smells like swamp butt, then that's probably the girl for you.

Tommy: That's good advice.

Josh: All right, that's your tagline in your Tinder profile.

Tommy: What was it? Swamp? If you have me—

Josh: if you take my breath, that's like swamp butt in the morning, I'm your guy. You're my girl.

Erik: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: No, I love it.

Erik: Yeah, yeah. If you have to— if you have to super impress her, then eventually she's going to meet the real you. And she may not like it. So I'm not saying just go out there with your breath smell like swamp butt, but I'm saying that just be yourself and present that to her. And if she likes it, great. If she doesn't, then keep moving. It's like, what, a million girls on the planet Earth?

Josh: It was probably a lot more than that, Eric. They make up 51% of the population of the world.

Tommy: There's only 2 million people in the world, isn't there? Or I don't know.

Josh: Um, I love that advice. Be yourself. I think knowing yourself. When I found Amy, it was when I legitimately was in a more content place and I was less sort of restless than ever. Yeah, it's great. This is why we called you, mate. You're our dating guy today, just today.

Tommy: Just don't worry, Eric.

Erik: I was about to say, I am not taking that responsibility.

Tommy: Eric, can you tell us, as the representative from, how do you say your town? That you're from?

Erik: Shit town?

Tommy: Norfolk. What is— can you describe, uh, what is it like? Where are you sitting right now? Uh, what's, what's the best part about the town?

Erik: Um, we'll shoot to kill.

Josh: Wow, is that true?

Erik: It's a military town. I mean, that's That's, that's literally— so they're in a— they're having an identity crisis because they've been a military town for so long, and now they no longer want to just be labelled as a military town. Yeah. So they're, they're really transitioning out of that. Uh, the problem with that is it's, it's a lot It's seriously complicated in, in, in how they're making that transition. But for right now, it's mostly known as a military town.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: So does this look like trucks driving down the street that are full military or have camo?

Erik: No, it's not that bad. No, they're not riding down the street, you know, you know, doing, uh, Tin Man soldiers in the streets. Yeah. No, there's no, it's not that But it, it's, um, it's literally more— it's a revolving door because it's a military town.

Mason: Okay, okay.

Tommy: And, uh, and what's the main, like, sports team? Like, what do people follow, uh, in that part of the world?

Erik: Uh, so we don't have one.

Tommy: Okay.

Erik: Uh, we have, like, arena soccer— not soccer, um hockey. Yeah, we have, uh, we have a minor league baseball team.

Tommy: What's the difference between minor league and major league?

Erik: Uh, one's a boy and the other one's a man.

Tommy: Yeah, okay, sure.

Erik: I mean, it is, so it's like the Yankees is major. Yeah, they're like, everybody knows who they are. Uh, who we have is a minor league team. They're like I guess they just created the minor leagues just to get more people work.

Tommy: Yeah, sure. Yeah, interesting. And that's the main thing. Would you ever go to, like, on a weekend or whatever, go to the baseball?

Erik: I've been before. Yeah, but baseball is so freaking long.

Tommy: Yeah, it does go for a very long time.

Josh: Hey Eric, have you travelled much around America?

Erik: Um, I've been out of Virginia, if that's what you're asking. I don't know what travel much around America means.

Tommy: Yeah, like, where have you been? North Carolina, or what parts?

Erik: So I've been to North Carolina, I've been to California, I've been to Texas, I've been to, uh, Maryland, DC.

Tommy: Amazing.

Erik: Who hasn't been to DC? Um, yeah.

Tommy: What was the last one?

Erik: Pennsylvania's the last one.

Tommy: Okay, yeah, great.

Josh: Dracula lives there— Pennsylvania. Yeah, there you go.

Erik: Oh great! You haven't been to DC yet?

Tommy: No, I haven't been to DC but we should when we do our 400-kilometer walk maybe that's where we go. So how many miles did you walk?

Erik: We can't just pass right by that because I've been steaming. Because you see me here licking my blistered wounds. And, and I'm saying, okay, so I'm gonna watch the show. I'm just gonna put my feet in there, you know, it's hurting and everything, and I'm just gonna relax myself. And, uh, I'm minding my own business, not paying attention to anybody, and I hear, oh, we're gonna do this 400-kilometer walk. And I'm like, okay, that's cool, nice, you know, that's a great idea for somebody else. I really like that. I was like, man, that's stupid, but you know, I like people who do stupid ideas. And then it's like, oh yeah, and Eric's gonna do it with us. What the fuck?

Tommy: Do you know how that is? 200 and 48 miles.

Erik: Yeah, you know, I looked it up. I think you saw the story.

Tommy: Yeah. Is the, um, how many miles did you walk last week? 30.

Josh: 30.

Tommy: And how do you feel after? And how do you feel after 30?

Erik: Did you hear about the blisters?

Tommy: Yeah, so it's not good. Do your joints feel sore and stuff, or is it just the blisters?

Erik: Oh no, no, it's just blistered feet. But that's good. I mean, it's normal. It's not that bad. It's just, you know, I— so the blisters is kind of my fault. Yeah, because wear better socks, wear proper socks.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, you fucked it.

Erik: But other than that, it's, it's, it's not bad.

Josh: Okay, you'd need to, you'd need to spread it out over like weeks and weeks to really do it without injuring yourself. But, uh, no, as you, as you— I mean, Eric's interpreted that as We're actually doing it and he's coming. This is the problem with bringing up ideas on the show. People like hear bits of them like, oh, you're doing that?

Tommy: Well, we are going to do it.

Josh: We'll do something. We haven't said what we're doing.

Tommy: Eric's committed to it. Eric will do it.

Josh: This is how you get yourself into a pickle.

Tommy: No, this is great. I'm still keen. I think we walk from Virginia all the way up to DC.

Josh: That's—

Tommy: yeah, I think that's probably more than 400K.

Erik: Okay, that is not possible. Okay.

Tommy: I think it's potentially— yeah, I just love it.

Erik: No, it's literally not possible. You have to cross bridges and go through tunnels. That can't happen.

Tommy: Oh, bridges are fucking fine.

Josh: No, he's our American correspondent. He knows America. Eric, thank you. Thanks, mate.

Erik: But here's the thing, you probably get an Uber through the tunnel. Yeah, that's like that. Yeah, you, you have to drive tunnel.

Josh: Oh, that's right, he's troubleshooting for you.

Erik: Yeah.

Josh: Hey Eric, tomorrow when we get you back on the show, we'll we'll probably have some other topic that we won't tell you about before we do it.

Tommy: So we want to do it weekly. So it's Wednesday, late afternoon. It's what, it'd be 6:30 PM.

Josh: But what I will say is there's no promises being made. We're not making another promise today. We're pulling back on the promises of all of these things because we're trying to consolidate all promises.

Tommy: We're in liquidation mode and we've got the liquidators in and they're looking at all the promises that we've made. Yeah, but would love you to come to Dubai in 2020 for World Expo.

Josh: I wasn't aware of that promise.

Tommy: So I think that would be a lot of fun. Thanks, Eric.

Erik: Thanks for the chat, mate.

Tommy: Hey, mate.

Erik: Oh, you guys are crazy.

Tommy: Yeah, catch you, mate.

Josh: Thanks, Eric.

Tommy: Bye. There we go, Eric, uh, on the line there from Virginia.

Josh: Yeah, love him. Uh, we'll start workshopping this Mr. Nice Guy.

Tommy: What did you learn from What's the main takeaway that you learned from Eric?

Mason: Probably, yeah, just be— I mean, I wouldn't enter into a relationship anyway if it wasn't built on like being authentic and stuff. But yeah, that's okay. That's a takeaway.

Josh: He's a good catch.

Tommy: And are you okay? I just want to make it clear, you'll find us doing this on air and exploring it and having fun with it. Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, I just want to—

Josh: I just—

Tommy: no, I don't want anyone in the fucking email.

Josh: We don't want to be sued.

Tommy: Yeah, well, we don't— we don't want to be sued. We don't want people being like, Mr. 97 is un— I don't want my mum being saying, Mr. 97 doesn't lie, it doesn't want to find a girlfriend right now and you're pressuring him.

Josh: But you could take the crickets as that. I appreciate that you've had it cleared. It's all good.

Mason: Plus, mum will love— my mum will love it.

Tommy: Oh, great.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, because she wants you out of the house, bro.

Tommy: Absolutely. The Daily Talk Show, hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. We actually We've gotten emails, haven't we? Do you remember?

Josh: We're well over our time limit of the show. Okay, well, um, but send us an email and we'll get to it tomorrow.

Tommy: There's a big one from Rowie in regards to an update on the stickers on the fruit.

Josh: Oh yeah, which you can get to tomorrow.

Tommy: Yeah, today's all show.

Josh: See you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: Have a good one.