The Buck Stops Here

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 285.

Tommy: We're both in crisp new white and black tees.

Josh: I can't believe that you didn't do your normal line.

Tommy: What is it? How you going?

Josh: It's Monday.

Tommy: Oh no, I'm over that.

Josh: Okay. Oh, I like it.

Tommy: You can only say— you can only say hump day so many times. I can only do Monday so many times. I actually just thought It's more because I'm feeling like—

Josh: self-conscious.

Tommy: Yeah, well, this t-shirt's very tight around the chest right now.

Josh: I think you look great.

Tommy: Thanks, mate.

Josh: We both have new t-shirts.

Tommy: That t-shirt looks great too.

Josh: Do you really think that?

Tommy: It does. No, it does. It's brand new, out of it, out of the box, and it's a nice fit for you, mate. If you fuck up getting a black tee, God help everyone, because that's all you wear, so you should know how— what to buy.

Josh: Well, it's risky because the place that I go to, Wool and Prince, if you're wondering, Wool and Prince, Really good t-shirts.

Tommy: A comment here on this show lately, there has been.

Josh: But I think like, I was actually thinking it could be something like when we had Jack Post on, on Thursday, uh, we had the company that gave him the mushroom tea. Oh yeah, comment.

Tommy: Now that is right.

Josh: And I nearly said, always happy to chat about products, and then send the PO box.

Tommy: That is— is that too much, mate? I'm a guy who loves a freebie. I love a freebie.

Josh: Can we open the— Andy Lee's done this on his Instagram.

Tommy: Yeah, and so basically it's like on his Instagram profile photo is him holding an address and it says like send free stuff. Yeah, so he's— he gets some good shit though. What has he got? What do you know of?

Josh: I think he got a new bed, maybe. I saw your golf clubs.

Tommy: You got a whole bunch of scotch or bourbon or something, some alcohol company. So yeah, I mean, I would like some free stuff.

Josh: What do we need at the moment? What would actually help you? Nappies?

Tommy: Dental care.

Josh: Dental care. But we've had Nima, who is Christian Howell's dentist.

Tommy: Well, he's not my dentist.

Josh: What actual issues have you got though?

Tommy: Just attending the dentist and paying the price that we do. I'm happy to— I would almost cut off a finger to have lifetime dental work, you know, like as you get older, root canal, It's not a currency though, fingers, they're not gonna— No, I know, but if we just, I don't know, I know that's my ring finger, I can't get rid of that. Little finger, which one would you choose if you had to get rid of one? Middle finger.

Josh: Little finger.

Tommy: Little finger, nah, yeah, well, you might fall over. Anyway, I would take, I would do cash for comment for a dental surgery.

Josh: But would a dentist take a finger from you?

Tommy: Yeah, I don't think he wants my finger, I think there's no use for my finger. I think the cash, The comment is probably the exchange.

Josh: But there could be a little bit of clout in getting some news coverage of the guy who got rid of his finger for Lifetime Dental.

Tommy: I mean, it's a bit of gear. It's a bit of something for the show.

Josh: Have you had anything? I saw someone I know doing posts and they had a car, doing a lot of car posts, and I think that they were getting—

Tommy: I've got a free car.

Josh: Got a free car.

Tommy: Nah, I have not.

Josh: But you would do it.

Tommy: See, I got sent something. So someone who I know reached out to me and said, hey, I'm working for this company and I'd love to send you something. We'd love it if you— so it was very kind of like loose around what you need to do for us. It was an iPhone camera lens, and I've never talked about this. Should I just go get them?

Josh: Yeah, let's give them the plug that they— so might as well you get it out of the way. I'm trying to think if I've got anything that I need to plug plug, but Woolen Prince is my t-shirt. They're merino wool. This one's a merino wool blend. I, uh, I don't wash my t-shirts that regularly, maybe once a month.

Tommy: Yeah, I actually don't know if the girl who sent me this actually works for this company anymore, but, um, Black Eye is the name of this brand, and they're basically iPhone lenses. You know, I took these to New York because I was like, I'll get, I'll get some, I'll get a bunch of snaps. On with my phone and this camera lens for it.

Josh: Do you know what we could promote?

Mason: What?

Josh: Mixkit by Envato. Oh yeah, Mixkit. Uh, we've been doing work with Envato, but they've come up with this new website. It's all free. Basically, if you want, uh, they release 10 new high-quality stock video clips every week, and we've been doing some filming for that, mixkit.co. See, most people skip away from ads and we're making it part of the content.

Tommy: This is it.

Josh: Can you clean your lens?

Tommy: No, that's it. It just wasn't aligned. So this is like a wide angle lens. Hey, can you get on—

Josh: can you get the RODECaster in?

Tommy: There you go.

Josh: Smile.

Tommy: So there's a RODECaster. But this is the thing, I have a— my whole reason for mentioning this was to get the plug in. But I was never like commissioned or like told I had to do it. But I just find it very hard to talk about anything. Like, I cringe when I see people doing, you know, it's like a lot of people— it's— is it sellout? Is it like— I don't know if I could do it. There's a Squarespace—

Josh: I don't think I could do a Squarespace ad.

Tommy: I'm sure if the money's there, I don't know at what point. I mean, I just offered to give away my finger for dental care, but then I feel like that is something that I need and everyone needs for life.

Josh: Yeah, and everyone needs a presence online, and with Squarespace you can do it.

Tommy: It's not happening. We don't have a show. Let's— we can move away from the cash for comment.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: I just wanted to tell you, Amy, my wife, she never talks about my eyebrows unless there's a problem with my eyebrows.

Josh: So, well, we did it. You did a, um, last week early in the week you had a stint of posting, uh, face swaps. Oh yeah, on Instagram.

Tommy: It's obsessed. I got a lot of negative feedback.

Josh: Well, this was the thing, you and I had had a conversation the week before and we'd sort of agreed, you know what, let's switch roles a bit. And I'd been very obsessed on the podcast stuff. Yeah, you'd been doing a lot of the client stuff, and I'm like, let's let's switch it up. I'll jump into Xero and you can jump into the Daily Talk Show Instagram. And so you grabbed it by the horns, grabbed the bull by the horns. Yeah. And you did social media content that could be aligned with the social media radio content that you would have seen in 2014. The face swap.

Tommy: It's something I love. Like, I've downloaded the app, I've downloaded the app years and years ago, and I just loved it. Probably in 2014. But it's something that— it's fucking funny. So I started off by doing you and I, face swapping you and I in this very position.

Josh: Keeps the bodies, it keeps the bodies.

Tommy: Literally just takes my face and puts it on Josh's.

Josh: What did you—

Tommy: so good.

Josh: What did you actually learn about yourself based on the image that it pulled? Be honest, what did you think?

Tommy: I don't know, obviously you thought something because you're trying to— what did you think?

Josh: I thought like 'Jeez, I've got a strong face.' Do you, mate? 'And you've got a good rig.' But I thought, 'Jeez, my face on your rig is a 10.' Yeah, happy to bring the rig if you bring the face.

Tommy: No, I know what you mean. My face very much only suits my fucking pill. That's all it does. My pill, my head. Okay, so that it only fits me because I was—

Josh: yeah, me, your face being on my head.

Tommy: Yeah, you looked— I looked German or something. I had like, I had a— so it took my— because I've got a beard, took my moustache and it put it onto you with no, no beard. So it just is transplanted.

Josh: It's very full on.

Tommy: It was— looks so fucking weird.

Josh: Eyebrows looked— because then you realise I don't actually have very big eyebrows.

Tommy: Yeah, what I find interesting is when you do— I guess it's like that, I've done it with some girls in the past, switch their face. I'm like, it's actually— oh no, no, sorry, I've done it before switching a guy onto a girl. And I've thought, she looks great as a guy, or yeah, um, he's really attractive on a woman. Like, it blends.

Josh: So it's like, I think that's what they do with those, like, the herpes commercials.

Tommy: Well, who's going to put their face or their lips to—

Josh: lips to a herpes commercial? I don't know, let alone—

Tommy: I'm surprised I haven't had a cold sore since doing this show.

Josh: Like, oh, that's been very lucky, hasn't it? You've definitely had one.

Tommy: Have I?

Josh: During the audio, I'm sure.

Tommy: Have I, mate? Keeping tabs on me colleagues?

Josh: I think when you were run down in the US, surely.

Tommy: Nah, I didn't get one there, I just got a bit sick.

Josh: Yeah, I think maybe you were telling me about how some of these ad agencies now are merging faces together, so it's not— because they used to have to pay a lot of money for a model, because if you're on a herpes campaign, you don't want to be associated with that.

Tommy: Well, think about a kid being on a domestic violence campaign poster. The kid, you can't put a kid onto it, so there has to be some sort of Like, if you can do it on an app, you could do it on a computer that probably has a programme pulling from 50 different faces and just enlarging. I mean, there's that software of building out what a criminal looks like. Yeah, based on people's recollection of their look.

Josh: Using your Google Photos account?

Tommy: Yeah, a lot of them look like me.

Josh: How many criminals do you— your database has more criminals on it than the fucking VicPol.

Tommy: There is a few criminals. There's a few people in those photos that I uploaded. All of my photos that I've ever taken to the You mentioned it on Friday. Yeah, but there's some criminals in there. They're in jail now. There's one guy specifically I came across and I was like, that's fucked. I don't want to look at that. Anyway, Amy only says to me if there's something wrong with my eyebrows. And she said, oh, I was like, oh, can you get off me? She was like on top of me.

Josh: Okay, well, that's a blindfold.

Tommy: No, no, it wasn't like that. You're lying around, you're whatever.

Josh: You were just getting a bit hot.

Tommy: Yeah, you know when you get it hot and just like off. She's like, I was gonna, I was gonna do your eyebrows. And she plucks the middle of my eyebrow so I don't have one. I mean, life would be easier if there was just one because then you don't have to fucking cater to two. And we got in the discussion around having a child that gets a monobrow because I, I don't know how acceptable monobrows are in, I think, with a kid.

Josh: But your kid has a mullet. Bode has one.

Tommy: Well, let's just, let's just, before we get into the details of the child, I think as adults, monobrows, it ain't the norm.

Josh: Absolutely.

Tommy: What's normal? But I truly think that people aren't that accepting of monobrows.

Josh: I agree.

Tommy: And so then it's like, okay, the extrapolation from there is children with monobrows. And then we were thinking, surely there's moms and dads out there that aren't saying that they're plucking their kids' monobrow but are doing it, and they know how sort of wrong it is to do it because they don't want to tell this kid. But I was like, what, what do you think that case is?

Josh: Like a haircut, is it?

Tommy: Yeah, but I think there's more. I think there's more. Getting a haircut is probably— I mean, everyone does that. Not everyone has to do the monobrow like me.

Josh: I mean, but, uh, Bodhi hasn't had a haircut, has he?

Tommy: No, he's He's 2 years strong with no cut.

Josh: What is it? What is the action?

Tommy: A lot of partying up the back.

Josh: What do you— what is the theory on not giving him a haircut?

Tommy: Well, we're just growing his hair out. I'm growing mine out, he's growing his out.

Josh: And the aim of it is— when do you actually— just give him a little—

Tommy: he'll probably have a little fucking top pony, a little ponytail. It looked cute.

Josh: Did you have that when you were a kid? Well, how did you come up with the idea?

Tommy: I had a bowl cut as a kid, so mine was not Not happy.

Josh: Did your mum do it?

Tommy: Uh, no, there's a photo of me having my first haircut with a woman named Gay, Gabriella, my mum's friend, and she, she would come over and do the haircut. So it's nice, it's like we're out in the backyard, it's very sort of old suburban looking, you know, like I'm plonked in a chair.

Josh: And did she bring her own bowl?

Tommy: Yeah, she— no, she didn't. I don't know if she did the bowl. I think the bowl cuts— the joke is put a bowl on your head and I've cut around.

Josh: That's not a joke, some reality for some some.

Tommy: Yeah, but I think they've taken the thing that was a bowl cut— your hair sits like a bowl— and then the— then from that it's, oh, you've put a bowl on your head and actually cut around it. Because that's hair— I think it was a haircut that was in fashion in the late '80s, '90s. Like, it was legit. They thought it was— and then undercuts were there. So I got one when I was— I don't know, Mum's still got locks of my hair. She's kept it. It's a bit— it's a bit weird. She's got my teeth, like teeth that were pulled out. She's kept them in like this thing.

Josh: Maybe that could be the deal with the dentist. Look, I can't give you my finger, okay? I've got some old teeth, I've got a piece of hair. Yeah, what's the— what is she— surely she should do a bit of a Marie, uh, you know, KonMari.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, getting rid of it. I don't know, my— I mean, we're not like— the chance of most people having a house these days is non-existent. They might— people might own apartments and shit, but there's no space.

Josh: Well, my mum has actually— have you gotten to the point where your mum said, hey, we're not keeping any of your memories anymore, so if you want them, you need to take them?

Tommy: I think my mum's more inclined to keep my memories. She's more the memories person. Yeah, because if I lost everything now, I wouldn't be that— I don't— other than photos, we should really get them all digitized, but just the old shit that I've got.

Josh: What sort of stuff have you got?

Tommy: You wouldn't know, do you? No, because my mum and dad have done a few moves since we had our family home. And the family home, it's fucking cool being able to grow up in a house for 20 years. Yeah. Bodhi's going to grow up in about 6.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he's probably going to go to a few schools. Whereas, so it's, I mean, I'd love to have a big house that I keep for as long as possible, you know. But so when you have the long house, you leave shit, shit builds up.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: And so there has been times we've got rid of stuff. I've got a filing cabinet at my parents' place. It's almost past the tax time so I can throw all those things out.

Josh: Aussie spunks stuff.

Tommy: I've got a bunch of that. I actually found a bunch of boxing gear, kickboxing gear, which I thought I could sell or we could use to spar. So there's some headgear and we could just have a bit of a boxing match.

Josh: Did you ever play football?

Tommy: Yeah, but there's no—

Josh: I mean, in a team?

Tommy: Ormond Blues.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: It was a local football club, AFL rules.

Josh: Do you remember the The team— I love when strangers walk past our office and they're like, what the fuck are those guys doing?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Because the thing is that it's like early in the day or whatever, they're like, do these guys have jobs?

Tommy: Yeah, what is this space?

Josh: We don't have jobs. Do you remember the theme song?

Tommy: Ormond Blues.

Josh: Go for it and then I'll see which one's stronger.

Tommy: No, no, no, I can't remember. I think it was the Melbourne Football Club song, which was my song.

Josh: So how does it go?

Tommy: So a lot of clubs in Melbourne or in Victoria take football songs from the professional league and just sort of manipulate them. It's a grand old flag, it's a high-flying flag, it's the emblem for me and for you, it's the emblem of the team we love, the team of the brown and the blue. Every heartbeat's true for the brown and the blue as we sing this song to you. What do we sing? May all acquaintance be forgot, keep your eyes on the brown and the blue.

Josh: Okay, yeah, you ready for mine? Uh, okay, I don't think you are. We are the Eagles, the greatest team of all. We're rough and we're tough and we're always on the ball. All our opponents shake in fear as soon as the team appears. Till the final bell, we give them hell. We are Endeavour Hills.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. I actually can't be sure if my one that I did was the actual one. My memory of childhood is not like yours.

Josh: I had a—

Tommy: that was good. I like that.

Josh: Yeah, good. But never got to— only ever sort of practice. I don't think we ever won. You only do the song if you win. So that was the main reason why I wanted to, um, to win.

Mason: Did you—

Tommy: I just love looking at Mr. 97's face.

Josh: Mr. 97, jump on the mic.

Tommy: Just very interested, just his eyes, just like a bit confused.

Josh: So did you ever, um, play sport?

Mason: Play footy? Yeah, yeah, we, uh, I had a— I played for a team called the Greythorne Falcons.

Josh: What was it? The what? The what?

Mason: Greythorne Falcons.

Josh: The Greythorne?

Mason: Greythorne, yeah, Greythorne Park. Okay, the park near my house. That's the footy field.

Tommy: All right, mate, you don't need to tell everyone where you live.

Josh: Do you remember the— I, I saw you sort of rattling on in your head What was your song?

Mason: I don't know which AFL club it is, but I think it's, see the Falcons fly up to win the Premiership flag.

Josh: That's a parody, that's a parody. That's not like—

Mason: I'm pretty sure that's a team.

Josh: That's the Bombers. See the Bombers fly up. Yeah, it's an Essendon's. Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Tommy: I think there was a thing at all of— so they were like recorded and they all sound super, super old. Like when you go to the stadium in Melbourne, MCG, or probably around Australia where they're playing, the songs are like literally like old horns and shit. They were all recorded. I think I heard that they were all recorded on the exact same day.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: And so they punched through like, what is there, 15, 14, or 17 now teams?

Josh: Well, the Saints song That's like a, um, that's a song from somewhere else, isn't it?

Tommy: The Saints? Yeah, that's good. Cooked that last bit. It's a good one. We've really lost it today. All right, you've done. If you need to find a job Being a trumpet is both ends.

Josh: Well, because I had a kazoo that we spoke about previously that I've given to Bodhi Boy.

Tommy: This is a present that he palms off. It's almost like the pulled pork of last week. It wasn't beef, it was beef hands.

Josh: 97 never said agenda.

Tommy: There's— Josh didn't want to throw it out, a childhood toy, but so he finds the person who has a child. But it's like, mate, this is great for you.

Josh: Now this is the opposite. What I thought was, I was like, you know what, I feel connected to Bodhi.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: This is a really special toy. I'm not having kids.

Tommy: You gotta tell yourself a story.

Josh: I'm gonna give it to Bodhi. It's a nicer story.

Tommy: It is a nicer storey than fuck, I can't throw this out. Which gronk can I give it to and make it out like this is something I really want to give your child. So my son, we've put it away because he just walks around doing it.

Josh: So he uses it though?

Tommy: No, yeah, we got it going and that's why it's packed away. Because you give a 2-year-old anything, he's just doing this. Do the sound effect for me. He's just walking around. Not that— he's not that good, but he's just more just going— just do the really annoying version. Just do— if Bodhi did that— I'm actually going to turn your mic down. If Bodhi did that—

Josh: one of the annoying bit—

Tommy: you were annoying. I just meant an annoying sound, like—

Josh: so my— that previously, that wasn't annoying?

Tommy: It was actually quite good.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Which is also annoying.

Josh: Okay, yeah, I get that.

Tommy: I understand, because if it's kind of good, you'll keep it going.

Josh: What's one of your— have you got any weird skills like that?

Tommy: Oh, there was always the farting under the arm, you know.

Josh: Can you do that?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, it's quite good.

Tommy: That was coming from my underarm. Underarm. I used to be able to do this thing as a kid, um, we used to call them suck-ins. So you'd suck in air in your bum and then be able to fart. But I don't know what happened to me as I got older.

Josh: One thing, my neck just went—

Tommy: Oh no, that's fucked. That's— no, don't do that.

Josh: That's dangerous, isn't it? It's a bit silly.

Tommy: No, it's not silly. It's just— I— cracking. Mr. 97 was over, we're doing an episode and he was just doing cracking his knuckles.

Josh: But do you remember when you were a kid, uh, all the old people, what they'd say?

Tommy: What are they?

Josh: Oh yeah, arthritis.

Tommy: You're gonna get arthritis, which I don't think is true.

Josh: Well, yeah, they came— I think A Current Affair, I think Tracy dropped the bombshell that it doesn't. It's all just air pockets and it should be fine.

Tommy: Yeah, but it is, it's annoying. It's like, yeah, there are some sounds that just are infuriating. When other people—

Josh: Bree gets annoyed when I chew.

Tommy: Oh, you chew with your mouth open?

Josh: No, no, no, no.

Tommy: Then how's she annoyed? No, because you're chewing with— you only make noise when your mouth is open.

Josh: My mouth's closed.

Tommy: You don't make, you don't make noise. Like, it's not noticeable unless you're doing mm, mm, mm. You don't have it though. Okay, I used to be able to do a sucking. That was weird.

Josh: Uh, yeah, I used to do something with my belly button. I could make noise with my belly button. Yeah, sort of.

Tommy: What were you doing with your belly button, bro?

Josh: A little— you know what I mean?

Tommy: I do that to my son. I like— because it's like a little air pocket.

Josh: Is Amy sensitive with her belly button? Bri fucking hates when I poke her belly button.

Tommy: Oh, we had— yeah, yeah, she's— she doesn't like it. Definitely doesn't like me just penetrating your belly button.

Josh: But would you like, if you were hugging it, like, I'm not gonna get a little finger in the belly. Yeah, but I'm like a little feeling slightly annoying, I'm just like, I feel fucking— I just wanna go— Do you ever do that or no?

Tommy: No, I do that when I go do it. I definitely do annoying shit like that, 100%. I think everyone does shit with their partners. They know the thing that annoys. There's a few things. Amy hates it if I ever rest my hand on her neck. Can I do it to you? Yeah, just like that, just cupping the back of her neck.

Josh: It's like, you know, I've got a very sweaty neck.

Tommy: Yeah, that wasn't too sweaty, but Amy just is like, ugh, gives me shivers. My dad and I have this joke.

Josh: This is gonna get real dark.

Tommy: No, no, no, no, I've never— like, would you let me— let me just say, would you let me put my hand on your throat? Yeah, so you trust me enough not to squeeze?

Josh: Yeah, here we go.

Tommy: Yeah, I've got my hand on his jugular.

Josh: You can go a bit harder.

Tommy: No, I don't want to hurt you. I don't—

Mason: not—

Tommy: it's not—

Josh: do you trust me?

Tommy: Yeah, I trust you. You can do it. I don't care. It's fine. Um, no, it's fine.

Josh: But I've got him real good.

Tommy: I can only say this story— I can only say this storey because I don't—

Josh: because you're older now.

Tommy: There is no— but there's nothing that has caused this with my father. But I have this thing where I always just want to grab him by the neck.

Josh: That's almost a fun thing.

Tommy: I'm like So now it's become a game where I'm like, oh, look over there, and he looks over there and I go in for his neck. But by the time it's like he's got some fucking perimeter notification, because as I'm getting close, he puts his chin down into his chest and he will not let me touch his neck.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: And he's not yet told me about his father strangling him, so I don't think that's the reality. But he won't let me touch his neck. It's funny.

Josh: What do you think?

Tommy: But now I want to touch it more.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: It's like, "Breathe, breathe, breathe." It's a belly button thing.

Josh: I probably, if I never had gotten a reaction, I would have never known that that was a thing. But yeah, it is just, it is quite, aren't we weird?

Tommy: We're very weird. We all have little quirks. What do we say? Oh, so we did this thing on radio in Shepparton called, what was it? Like Scare Factor.

Josh: It was like, you know, award-winning.

Tommy: Yeah, what people, what's their biggest fear and we're gonna help them confront it. And so one of them for this girl was, like taxidermied animals. Yeah, so like, you know, moose heads or I don't know what else you taxidermy.

Josh: Reptiles.

Tommy: Yeah, a fish. Fish is good one. Big trout, big king bat, like a bass, just, you know, caught it, prize catch. Anyway, so we got her and she was petrified.

Josh: Where'd you take her?

Tommy: We took her to this local bar.

Mason: What?

Josh: No, it's just funny. I actually thought you were going to go to a taxidermy place.

Tommy: No, we went to a local bar. There's no taxidermy. Very few. We're not— it's not like America. I think the towns in America where there's hunting going on, there's a lot of those kind of joints. Yeah, I might be talking shit, but I could imagine.

Josh: Crazy, like, to think that they like taking out all the— ah, don't need that organ.

Tommy: Yeah, and so we went to this bar and there's this big moose— not a moose head, like a deer head up on the wall. And she's just petrified. It was great. But I was thinking like, how do you become scared of these things?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, where does it come from? Where does like clowns— another thing that we had a woman, I was dressed up as a clown. I've got a video of me actually doing it dressed up as a clown.

Josh: Can we post that on Instagram?

Tommy: I could try and find it. It's like a— it was on the TV station up in Shepparton.

Josh: 97, we want to find out what your fears are, so come up, go up to your mic.

Tommy: So have a think, because it was always like, I don't have a fear. I've bungee jumped. I've like— not trying to be fucking, you know.

Josh: I'm scared of vomiting.

Tommy: Okay, that's fucking weird.

Josh: Do you like vomiting? Do you?

Tommy: No, it's not something I want to do, but if you're scared of it, yeah, you haven't drank enough.

Josh: Like when it comes to—

Tommy: why do you don't drink?

Josh: When it comes to like a car being carsick or motion sick, I get so sweaty because I'm like, yeah, nah, that's—

Tommy: yeah.

Josh: Like, that's me trying not to vomit.

Tommy: The, um, what was there? Spiders. We found this kooky dude who owned camels and fucking all these unusual animals out there.

Josh: Misunderstood.

Tommy: Out in the burr, out in the, like, in a surrounding town. And he brought in some spiders. We're like, he has spiders, he's got his pets. And then so they brought in spiders and ants for this woman, and I had a, I had a huntsman, like a big fucking furry spider crawling. And like, I'd never go near these because they do bite. They're not like tarantulas that you see, like people have pets, pet tarantulas, like there's somehow you can train those little fuckers. But, or they're just like in America spiders, they're called tarantulas.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And but these— how many legs? We don't have tarantulas just floating around here, but we have huntsman, huntsman, huntsman. Yeah, and they're big and furry and they'll fuck you up. Anyway, I had one of these things.

Josh: I thought huntsmen are like quite fine.

Tommy: Have you had a huntsman in your hand then? Would you go up and touch one?

Josh: No, I wouldn't, but I feel like they're sort of like a daddy long legs.

Tommy: Nah, man. Nah, bro.

Josh: Daddy long legs?

Tommy: And so we were in the studio and I had this spider crawling over my hand, and then I asked the guy after, I'm like, oh, so you've, you've, these are, you know, you raise these? Like, nah, I actually just found them yesterday. I got them off a tree out the back.

Josh: That's fucked.

Tommy: He's fucking kooked and bloody got these because they could have been outrageous. Yeah, exactly.

Josh: They could have been like vicious ones.

Tommy: He's like, nah, they don't fucking do shit. He was like the quintessential Aussie bloke who lived on this farm that had so many animals on it.

Josh: She probably wasn't even like some sort of animal wrangler.

Tommy: No, he does. He rents out camels.

Josh: Right, 97. His business. Any fears?

Mason: Uh, heights.

Tommy: Are you a heights man?

Mason: Well, it's not too bad. Like, I was shitting myself going bungee jumping.

Josh: You went bungee jumping?

Mason: Yeah, we tried to try to get over it. But, uh, other than that, sort of like cockroaches and stuff.

Josh: You like them? No, no, no, no.

Tommy: I won't pick him up.

Mason: I've got a good spider storey though.

Josh: Yeah, go.

Mason: Yeah, so we— I was, um, when we came to—

Josh: when we— that's Mikey.

Tommy: He can't hear it.

Josh: He just said, I'll be the judge, which is Mikey.

Mason: All right, um, it would have been, it would have been when we first came to Australia. I was, um, I was in bed and, um, going to sleep, and there was, there was a huntsman in the corner, uh, in, in, in like the corner of the, uh, the roof in the wall, and it's just above where, where my pillow was. And so I yelled out to my dad and was like, oh, there's a massive spider in my room! And I would have been like, I don't know, like 7 or something, 7 years old. He's like, yeah, don't worry about it. You just go to sleep. And it started crawling down the wall and I kept yelling at my dad. He's like, nah, you'll be fine, just go to sleep.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: And then it was on my pillow. It walked all the way down to my pillow. I screamed and then my dad got up and he had to go sort it out. But he's like, yeah, go to sleep, you'll be right.

Josh: You're a good dad. The good thing is you're a good boy for not getting up. I would have been— I was a kid— thanks, 97. I was a kid who, when I was younger, would always sleep in my mum and dad's bed.

Tommy: How old? What, what age to?

Josh: Up until probably 10.

Tommy: Yeah, I think that's fine. I mean, as a, like, it— as a parent, I want Bodhi to get into our bed, but he won't. He's too— he's, he's at the age where he needs to sleep in his own bed because he'll roll out, or— and he's not used to it. He won't sleep well. But I'd love him in the bed.

Josh: He probably would run hot. You guys have a king-size bed.

Tommy: Yeah, he'd be fine in the middle, but they're just little squirming worms. But yeah, fears are weird. Like, where do they come from? How do you— how do they develop? And because I see Bodhi's been waking up in the morning and he's been doing this thing. He's a tiger coming, tiger coming. It's so cute. And he's like, it looks— he looks really worried.

Josh: And he's having crazy dreams.

Tommy: I don't know if it's a dream, but he thinks there's a tiger in our house. And then we— I say to him, do you want to go look for the tiger? Yeah, Daddy. And so we look around the house and we try and find— but he gets like, he goes and hugs Mum and he's like— then he came to me and hugged me because he was scared of this tiger.

Josh: Could we fuck with him or no? Too young?

Tommy: I said I already tried to— I already fucked with him. I did this, so he's like, tiger, and I did this. I knocked on the door and I said, is that the tiger? And then, and then he didn't— it didn't make him worse, which I'm glad because it sounds pretty harsh. But then he was just snuggling in, and then Amy's like, yeah, we probably shouldn't try and scare him.

Josh: It is like I could, um, but that's just fair.

Tommy: I fucked with him, it didn't scare him, and I realised I don't— I shouldn't. This is maybe how the fears come about. Yeah, Mason's dad, fucking Paul Mason. You'll be fine. Those words rattle Mason. You'll be fine, bro. Yeah, it's weird. I would safely say there's not much that I have a fear of. Definitely not.

Josh: On Friday we spoke with Eric, our man. We didn't actually get to the point of what I started. The reason I was talking about Eric was because— oh, good news! Oh guys, just an update, just got an email. Yeah, I've got an apartment.

Tommy: Oh mate, I think Mr. 97 and I are the most thankful for that. If you're watching or listening, you You probably don't give a shit, but the complaints coming out of this bloke have been outrageous. And it all— and the butt fucking stops. The butt? The butt, the bud, the butt stops with the— But! See, this is you being a child again.

Josh: The bud or butt, I think you don't know.

Tommy: I think I don't give a fuck. It's one of the two. Eric got me, am I right, Eric? At least 97 understood it, am I right?

Josh: But what were you saying?

Tommy: I was just saying that It actually is the— it's the thing. Just say it. I'm trying to fucking remember.

Josh: It's the—

Tommy: oh no, I wasn't even talking about that. I'm just— I was—

Josh: it's the but.

Tommy: I thought you were asking what I was saying, and I was saying, until you fucking interrupted me, was the house has been the thing that you've needed to have all the other things work. And so we need the house so that nothing— all this shit— no, I can't go to the gym. No, the routine.

Josh: The but. The routine, maybe. Because if you got like, is it the Bud? I'm imagining like the Bud's Thubs. What are you writing? Are you trying to write stops? Spelt it with a U, guys.

Tommy: How's the judgement from this cunt?

Josh: Oh, you can't even use that word. That was a really strong C word.

Tommy: Now we use that here in Australia, but seriously, we don't. How is the judge? The Bud's— no, that's a shop. What are the popcorn buds? Yeah, see, this is— Bud, take the wheel.

Josh: Mr. 97, if you can find out if it's the bud stops or the—

Tommy: It's Ladison, guys.

Josh: The buck.

Tommy: We fucked it.

Josh: The buck stops.

Tommy: The buck stops.

Josh: I mean, see, like, don't you feel better now? I don't—

Tommy: I didn't care either way.

Josh: So you've called me a cunt?

Tommy: Yeah, I could— No.

Josh: Do you think that that was worthwhile?

Tommy: No, I said, how's this cunt? Now I'm backpedalling on the word, using that word. But if you've watched, I reckon we could compile about 150 moments of you calling me a cunt. Definitely not. 150 moments of you just pulling me up mid-story about a word that is either right or wrong.

Josh: It's a mum. I definitely got that from Mrs. Jackson.

Tommy: Lynn Janson.

Josh: She's constantly— she was having a go.

Tommy: Like, it's the ebb and flow of a conversation, dude. You don't want to sort of just It's like you get it. She said it on TV. They do it on live television.

Josh: Yeah, she was saying that, um, yeah, that I was mean to Nay-san about his weight.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't know.

Josh: Do you think I was?

Tommy: You're such close friends with him, so I don't— but I don't think you were. No, I don't think you were.

Josh: I think it's fine.

Tommy: Maybe some people pointing out something about something.

Josh: I realised you feel— I just clicked on a piece of the video of Jack Post Yeah, within the first 2 minutes I called him a fuckwit.

Tommy: I did say that bit.

Josh: And I do, I'm like, oh, you know what, some people probably don't get like Jack and my relationship.

Tommy: True. And I don't just call a random person that I've been hanging out with for, for a day a cunt.

Josh: He's really backpedaling, isn't he?

Tommy: No, but you could totally watch this if it's the first episode and go, what? That's such an impactful word. I'm like, yeah, and Matt Diavella says it too. On his podcast anyway.

Josh: So, oh mate, you know, so we were going to— we had an update on the on the line, in the line. We did the whole setup. We don't have to do it again. Listen to Friday's episode, which, uh, this is like—

Tommy: this is the ceiling. We got through the Valentine's Day storey and we're gonna get through this after 6 episodes.

Josh: We're gonna get through this after—

Tommy: yeah, we're here.

Josh: Just out of curiosity, I probably, it's probably personal admin just to read that whole email out, isn't it?

Tommy: Oh, you're still on the bloody—

Josh: From the property manager.

Tommy: No, mate, no.

Josh: I shall trust you will be, you make good tenants for myself and the owner of this property and treat it as your own. The thing that I wasn't sure on very quickly about this, they said, hi Bri, you've been pre-approved. What does pre-approved mean?

Tommy: Just approving you before they've done their due diligence. Which is due diligence.

Josh: Yeah, it's interesting just because they haven't, um, no, I don't know. I think it's due diligence. Due diligence. I'm not gonna— the thing is, you know I love you.

Tommy: Thanks, bro. But now you're about to say— what are you gonna say?

Mason: No.

Josh: And we all get things wrong, but I just want the best for both of us. And wouldn't you prefer to feel like you know how to say it properly? Unfortunately, we talk more on the podcast, and maybe it's a bit of this. Maybe when you say a word that's wrong, yeah, I feel like I have to say something, otherwise I'm aligning myself with you being wrong.

Tommy: Dude, I think that's a— no, I get that, I get that. But I don't— I think if it was, if it was both ways I couldn't. Like, I let you swim. It's great.

Josh: But I think there's an implication there that I'm screwing up every second word and you're just there smug, just being like, oh, I love Joshua not going down.

Tommy: It's not a filter. I don't have it as a filter. I think there's a filter there for you to go, oh, it's the Lynn Jansen effect.

Josh: We're going to cut this out for Mum. She's going to love it. Yes, I did get a great— I got an email from Jess, our new property manager.

Tommy: Yeah, you also got an email from Spencer. This is what we're getting to.

Josh: We need to seal this The one thing I don't like about property managers is their use of underlined, bolding, and red.

Tommy: Well, if it's crucial and it's all you really need to read, like if it's the main thing, like it helps you filter the email. That is a clunky email, I will admit.

Josh: The one thing that I just need to read— I can only process things if I'm reading it out. I just want to know out of curiosity, in order to hold this property, we do require the first month's rent only to be transferred within 24 to 48 hours of being approved. Approved. Your lease starts on the day you take your keys and is when your actual rent starts too. Okay, that was underlined. I just need to know if we had it. So we've got it. So that's exciting, guys.

Tommy: Thanks for dealing with our person, Josh's personal admin.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So now Spencer, he— this is sealing it off.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Which, what has he said?

Josh: Just quickly on Spencer. Spencer, actually I won't say last names. I nearly fucked it anyway. Spencer Raff, we'll say. Uh, he's a website developer and he came to Australia and Bree and I went with him around the Great Ocean Road. We had hot chips, hot fish and chips.

Tommy: Aussie experience.

Josh: Yeah, he lives in Florida. Lovely, uh, lovely dude. Anyway, Spencer has emailed in, in regards to the in the line or on the line, which one is it?

Tommy: If you're standing at a supermarket 'in the' or 'on the' line.

Josh: So, this is what Spencer says. What does he say? Generally in America, 'online' or 'on the line' is said by people from New York. The rest of the country usually says 'in line.' Keep it up, guys. Love watching on YouTube every morning. But there's actually— he's given us a link to grammarphobia.com. They did a blog post in 2007.

Tommy: Hyperlink, and this is a worthy hyperlink.

Josh: Yeah, this is a worthy hyperlink. Why do New Yorkers stand online? It's an accepted idiom— idiom, yeah, idiom. It's an accepted idiom in New York City to stand online, though it sounds odd to people from other parts of the country. Somebody from Atlanta or Chicago or Omaha or Phoenix gets in line and then stands in line. Somebody from New York gets online and then stands online. Similarly, New York shopkeepers and such will always say next online instead of next in line.

Tommy: Next online.

Josh: This is a good example of regionalism.

Tommy: Yeah, isn't that fucked up? Interesting that Matt DiVella didn't know this because he lived in New York, Jersey. Yeah, I thought he grew up out there.

Josh: Well, yeah, he grew up East Coast, but I guess New York versus I mean, it's not that far.

Tommy: Yeah, it's not that far, but I don't know. That's— yeah, that is bizarre.

Josh: Anyway, some— yeah, so you called me a cunt 4 times on today's episode. I think we're losing from Friday's ep and this ep. What's the whole thing? If you're gonna get us at our best, you have to deal with us at our worst, do you think?

Tommy: And that's The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: Hi, The Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: The caveat is sometimes worth recording.

Josh: Yeah, so go fuck yourself, cunt.

Tommy: Bye guys, see you guys.