It's Only A Joke

Tommy: Wait a minute! Frostface!

Josh: The Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Janson and Tommy Jackett. It's a Daily Talk Show episode 239.

Tommy: There's no, um, applause because there's no crowd today for Fat Fridays, but it is still Fat Fridays.

Josh: It's Friday and we're feeling fat.

Tommy: And currently we are situated out the front of Piccolina on Smith Street. It is fairly noisy.

Josh: That is a gelato place.

Tommy: Yeah, it's one of— it's like, it's— they've gone for the, the traditional Italian in the tub so you don't see the ice cream style, which I've heard that is how you know whether a place is legit. Dude, that's— I've had the best ice cream in Italy and it was from those ones. It wasn't from the bogan appealing, stacked up high ice cream. Stacked up high ice cream.

Josh: I keep cat stuck in it.

Tommy: Oh yeah, mate, you get that. But I mean, this serves its purpose, right? Messina are the opposite. You want to see all the shit that's inside their ice cream because that's what you buy it for.

Josh: Well, yeah, you're getting a bit of Tim Tam and some brioche bun and everything else.

Tommy: Yeah, we've really taken this Fat Friday serious. We've had nachos.

Josh: Well, yeah, so it's currently 2:30 PM on Friday and we went downstairs had a trough.

Tommy: Yeah, Nacho's Trough.

Josh: Is that an official thing? Do they call it a trough or do you just call it a trough? It's called a trough.

Tommy: It's on the menu, Nacho's Trough. And we bought it because we were like, that must be big if it's a trough.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And it was all like just, just a horse with its head in a trough of nachos.

Josh: It's good because it's got black beans in it, which is— I love black beans. Do you love black beans or no?

Tommy: Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't.

Josh: Seek it out.

Tommy: Talking point of the show.

Josh: No, but I've seeked it, suck it out? No, seeked it out. I've seeked it out a bunch of times before.

Tommy: To get black beans?

Josh: Yeah, like gone to like health food stores and stuff.

Tommy: I am slightly on edge. So Smith Street, for international listeners outside of Victoria and people who just don't leave their house or have never come to Collingwood, you might not have any need to. But so this is a— it is full of—

Josh: Go on.

Tommy: People would describe them as junkies.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so would I.

Josh: Do you think they'll be— you know what, I'm on edge because my shorts feel very short.

Tommy: Nah, you're right. You've shown more leg than that. But I got approached. I was sitting just pretty much 20 metres down to a cafe right near here. And I had my phone on the table just like I do now. So I got my keys out, my phone out. Josh has got his cock out, basically, yeah, nuts out. And she— this woman came up to me and she said— she lent in, I was like, oh fuck, I got the fright of my life. She said, honey, be careful around here, your shit will get stolen off the table, someone will do a runner.

Josh: Do you want to fix your— I feel like I don't like where your phone is. Phone and keys. So putting them down, and your keys, the keys are—

Tommy: the keys will get stolen too.

Josh: Well, I've already—

Tommy: just walking around pressing my button.

Josh: Where's it?

Tommy: Here under, here under.

Josh: That could happen. No, I'm very paranoid when it comes to— I think keys, I don't like leaving keys just in the front, like the centre console of the car, because I feel like a junkie might see that as something worthwhile taking. Do you think, or no?

Tommy: A friend of mine, for legal purposes I won't say who they are, they had a car that was broken into and stolen. The way it was stolen was because the car was locked, but he fucking had a spare set in his glove box. And so someone, they were getting in to steal his mountain bike, which was in the back.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So they smashed the window because the car was found later on.

Josh: Found the key, the second key.

Tommy: Well, do you have a second key? So here's the thing. You can't actually get insurance.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: If you have left a fucking key in your car, a lot of the policies are like, dummy, don't leave keys.

Josh: If you give it to the person.

Tommy: You've given them the car. Here you go, Boris, steal my car, please.

Josh: Do you have, um, so with our car, whilst we got it from a car dealer, it's, um, like a secondhand car. We only got one set of keys. I heard that normally cars come with two sets.

Tommy: It's been lost. My BMW that I had came with one, one key, and they just said it had been lost. My Honda Civic Came with one key. I was doing— I was cleaning the car, lodged down the side of the fucking seat in this crevice was a spare key.

Josh: Why do you need two sets of key— car keys?

Tommy: Because if you lose one.

Josh: Okay, so that's the main reason.

Tommy: Well, I never lost my BMW one. I locked— have I told you this? I locked some new cars hard to lock your key in the car. Yeah, uh, cars with central locking, electric electronic locking. Hard to lock your key in the car. But it doesn't mean you can't lock your key in the car. So I've got a habit now of as soon as I open the door and as soon as I see Bodhi and Amy open the door— Amy opened Bodhi's door— I press the lock button. The car hasn't yet been locked. It only locks when you close the door.

Josh: What's the first lock then?

Tommy: It just— I just do it so because I'm like, okay, I've got to put my pocket back in to get Bodhi out.

Josh: I always double press the lock button.

Tommy: No, but I press lock and then as soon as all the doors hit close, it locks it down.

Josh: Oh really? That's cool.

Tommy: Yeah, so you then know, you know, there is coming. But my BMW, one, one key, no spare key. I somehow fucking locked it as I opened the door and dropped the key in the car, slammed the door behind me, and I locked the fucking key.

Josh: You're a bit of a rat then. Just like having a BMW, like, do you look back and being like, you were the time you were stripping BMW driving?

Tommy: It was fucking fun, mate.

Josh: Do you look, do you cringe now or no? You're making crazy repayments on the car. How much do the repayments cost you? 600?

Tommy: Mate, 680.

Josh: 680? A month.

Tommy: I don't know, it was expensive, but it was fun. I look back on it with $0.

Josh: Did you trade it in?

Tommy: No, I sold it secondhand and paid back the loan repayment. So it was like a— it's like you get out but you lost all this money in the meantime.

Josh: Do you remember what your parents said when you bought the car?

Tommy: I can't really remember.

Josh: You're too busy revving it.

Tommy: I think it was just, can you actually afford it? As in, it's the point of going, well, can you actually make the repayments? It's one thing to have a kid that gets a car, somehow says he can pay it back, but then actually can't make the repayments. I could meet the repayments. And so what ended up happening with the locked key in the BMW, unbelievable situation. I went to, I called RACV.

Josh: Not RSL Club.

Tommy: No, I called RACV and I was like, roadside assistance. Hopefully they can like send a jimmy bar down the side of the fucking window and you know, like you see in the movies. Yeah, you can't do that with brand new cars. He said to me, you're pretty lucky, mate, I only recently did like a lock course.

Josh: Needs to get his hours up.

Tommy: Watch this, comes around to the back of the car, undoes my number plate on the boot, takes that off, pulls out these two wires, opens the wires up, gets this thing out and short, like, shorts the the wires, boot pops open and I could get through the parcel shelf of the rear seats, push it down, climb up into the car.

Josh: The RACV guys said this?

Tommy: Yeah, I've told someone this storey recently and they're like, dude. Oh no, I told the locksmith who works downstairs. He misses owns a cafe downstairs, Mitch.

Josh: He doesn't know, he's not a locksmith, by the way.

Tommy: Yeah, he's a locksmith.

Josh: No, no, no, he's not qualified.

Tommy: Okay, but he's got the tools.

Josh: He's got the business, he's got everything, but he didn't do the apprenticeship.

Tommy: He told me, he's like, dude, there's a massive problem with those old, older, like 2000 Beamers, 2008. So not even that long ago, 10 years ago. He's like, YouTube it. There is literally step by step of how to break into most of these cars now using some electronic latch.

Josh: That's interesting. So I wonder if YouTube has just a policy that you can post that sort of stuff. Like, could I look at how to—

Tommy: Life hacks video, life hack videos. Could not. Steal your fucking car video.

Josh: Could I work out how to pick a lock on YouTube?

Tommy: Yeah, definitely. You're definitely—

Josh: what I'm hearing right now is the sound of you eating. What flavours did you get?

Tommy: I forgot. I don't have headphones on. So we're a couple of blokes who are just indulging in ice creams at 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. Yeah, people are walking past working. I just, I had peanut butter and pistachio.

Josh: Ooh.

Tommy: But I was thinking, and we've talked about this before, I've always looked at, if you're in the CBD and you see a dude who looks middle-aged, 45, who in a suit looks like he's just knocked off work, it's 4:30 PM and he's just eating a Golden Gate, okay, time, or a Magnum, or a, you know, Cornetto.

Josh: It's very indulgent.

Tommy: It says something. My mind always goes to this sneaky prick's getting one in before he goes home to his family. He's like, I need a little something.

Josh: I definitely— so I saw that at like 6:45 PM while driving home, and I saw a guy downing a Magnum in his car driving. Did you know you're not allowed to Like I've talked about it previously.

Tommy: Yeah, the ICI did it.

Josh: A current affair.

Tommy: A current affair.

Josh: Yeah, so you can't, because I've been like drinking water or whatever, like driving, or even a can of the fizzy water that we had. We went through that so quickly, by the way.

Tommy: Yeah, we did.

Josh: That was less than a day.

Tommy: Any sponsors, please?

Josh: Fizzy water sponsors. You know, so my, the flavours I had, thanks for getting it for me. What did I have? I had, it was like a—

Tommy: Were you pleased with my choices? Yeah. Why?

Josh: The thing is that when you're beggars can't be choosers, if I'm not willing to go up to the counter. Yeah.

Tommy: You were at the counter. So here's the backside of what I have, my decision-making. You decide on those flavors.

Josh: Did I?

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: 'Cause you looked up at the board and you went, oh, look at that hazelnut or dark chocolate. Oh, what flavours do I get?

Josh: And I was like, yeah, that's what you do.

Tommy: Nut and dark chocolate.

Josh: Well, I said, yeah, I just, 'cause you, you're the type of guy— would this be a fair assumption that you are the type of guy to try a few different flavors, really enjoy the whole experience?

Tommy: You mean, um, take what's rightfully mine, a sample?

Josh: Oh my God, it's a very fruit— this is fruit gate all over again.

Tommy: It is a part of their service. I wouldn't push it past— I think 5's excessive, 4's the limit of sampling.

Josh: Yeah. How many did you have?

Tommy: Busy day, one or two max.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Just a quick one because you'll end up getting one of the two.

Josh: Yeah. I can't have— I just don't like the— that's one thing about ice cream shops I don't like.

Tommy: The samples?

Josh: It's just that— not so much the samples, but just more the banter involved in the samples. The slight like, where do I put the used spoons? Did they have sort of a—

Tommy: What you're describing is— It's horrible for people that suffer social anxiety.

Josh: Yeah, I didn't like it that much.

Tommy: No, I had a nice experience. The thing about Piccolina is they employ Italians. So she's Italian.

Josh: Did you use any Italian after we left the nacho place downstairs? What did you say?

Tommy: What did I say? Ciao?

Josh: No, you said gracias.

Tommy: Gracias. Yeah, I didn't use any Italian. But I've had a good chat with the woman and the man who work in the St. Kilda Piccolina.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: They from— she's— we're talking about, you know, ice cream in Italy, and she was from Sorrento, and that's where we had the best ice cream, and just had some ice cream banter.

Josh: Good. The, um, the "I want to be the type of guy that..." Yeah, which one?

Tommy: Who was it this week?

Josh: No, there's a few. No, I want to be the guy that feels comfortable enough going to a restaurant and saying something in the language of the cuisine. For instance, going to a Thai place and just saying "sawadee krap," which means "hello." Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, you've got nowhere to go after it if that's all you know, because then it's like, "Oh, whatever." Do you think that that's an appeal?

Josh: What are you looking at?

Tommy: There's a guy that is wearing a Bruce Lee t-shirt, very gaunt looking, that just flicked a cigarette, so that pissed me off. That's what caught my attention, and then he was just asking a dude for a cigarette.

Josh: Sure. Anyway, yeah, so I want to be the type of guy that has the confidence and the bravado just to wherever I'm going. If I'm going Mexican, saying a few things in Spanish.

Tommy: I think the confidence would probably come when you know more than a few few words. Maybe that's where the—

Josh: and understanding if the person is fucking from that place. I don't want to be speaking to someone in Thai, it's like, hey, sorry bro, I was born here and I'm Vietnamese.

Tommy: Oh, so you think that could be seen as you've profiled them?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: If you're at an Italian restaurant, you say ciao or buongiorno.

Josh: Well, I would say ciao.

Tommy: I don't know about buongiorno.

Josh: You do a very good job of it.

Tommy: That's all I know. Hi, goodbye. 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Josh: How do you know? Did you do Italian at school?

Tommy: Yeah, primary school there was Italian being taught.

Josh: I did German. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Tommy: I think it's—

Josh: Guten Tag.

Tommy: Is it that you're putting on an accent though with it?

Josh: Wie geht's dir?

Tommy: Why can you not—

Josh: Guten Morgen. You were putting on an accent. I'm just doing the same.

Tommy: Buongiorno. That's not an accent.

Josh: Yeah, that was an accent.

Tommy: You've long gone— you've gone before Hitler.

Josh: That's how you can't say— no, that's not a— that's a German accent. No, that is highly offensive.

Tommy: I think you've actually like assumed the people that you hear on the like they're sort of— there's this sort of sound behind it.

Josh: But not good?

Tommy: Well, but maybe it is a bit gimmicky because I think maybe they just—

Josh: Guten Morgen, Guten Morgen, wie heißt du? Wie heißt du?

Tommy: It's hard to do accents, even like an American accent, without sort of shifting your normal speech pattern. So like, "Hey dude, how are you?" Like, if I'm trying to do something, I turn into Ryan Seacrest. We don't want to hear it again.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: But it's an interesting one. Is it even— is it rude these days to take off accents? Not speaking another language, obviously.

Josh: You definitely can't do accents.

Tommy: Why?

Josh: But if you can't speak English and do an accent, what I was doing is sounding more German. In a— but I was speaking German. Yeah, I—

Tommy: which I don't— it's not that bad.

Josh: It'd be offensive to, uh, do a German accent speaking English.

Tommy: Okay, so it's offensive— it's not offensive to speak Japanese, but it's offensive to speak English like a Japanese would speak English.

Josh: Yes, yes, very much so.

Tommy: Where's Matt Tilley when you need him?

Josh: For people who don't know, he was sort of— he in the '90s did what was known as the gotcha calls where he was very well known for doing an Indian accent pretending that he was from some form of telemarketing service.

Tommy: Guido Hatzis. Do you remember Guido?

Josh: Guido? Yeah. What was he off?

Tommy: Guido Hatzis. I bought his CD, Prank Calls. I don't know if he was on television. Not when I knew of him. He We used to listen to them in the car, at home, full CD just loaded in. One, there's probably 18 tracks of him just doing prank calls as like an Italian or Greek Australian guy, or like, you know.

Josh: Is that all gone? Like, he's doing, you know, Wog Boy was a big thing. Yeah. Is all that stuff done? Like, does it just not make sense anymore?

Tommy: I mean, he's still making money, but I think it's probably frowned upon for Aussies to be mocking. Yeah, I mean, Rhys Mitchell's father, my best mate, Con the Fruitora, he's taking off, or he's created a character that is an Italian Greek fruit shop owner.

Josh: I think that's okay because that's a complete character.

Tommy: That is a complete character. So I think when you're using it to mock people, I mean, comedians get away with it fucking a lot, and we're not funny, so we can't. And we're not.

Josh: I called you last night because something something happened when I got home living at mum and dad's place for the next month and a half.

Tommy: The one accent you can take off is Lin Jansen.

Josh: Do you know what? I found an old— I was looking at archival stuff yesterday for this new video that I'm working on. And I actually found a bit where mum was saying, "Ah, you always do my voice." And it was like 15 years ago. She was having a go at the way that I do her voice. But no, I—

Tommy: You do, you tend to, like, you make fun of something. I don't even know, I don't even sound like the guy you actually do of me.

Josh: Well, I think it's very like a bit lispy.

Tommy: Yeah, but I think you've exaggerated.

Josh: Can you say a little bit of piccolina?

Tommy: Piccolina.

Josh: Piccolina. It's just something a bit, I don't know how to just—

Tommy: You're making me out as a flamboyant man.

Josh: No, but I think you do fall into that.

Tommy: Is it the Bryson?

Josh: I think it's Bryson.

Tommy: I think you're finding like moments or pieces of it, because I've even caught myself like, have I got a fucking lisp? When you point out and heighten the things that I'm not doing.

Josh: Well, I stopped doing it because I feel like it's just like, it's not productive for your business partner every single time you talk for them to mock. It's true, don't you think?

Tommy: It is funny though, but my gear is, fuck off, why do you keep doing this?

Josh: Yeah, you're a pest.

Tommy: You're an absolute pest.

Josh: You're a bit of a pest. But I don't know. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Do you think Tommy has— I had feedback, I had to change the way we process the audio. No joke, someone said that all of Tommy's S's were very sharp.

Tommy: What, Trev, you could have just called me and said that.

Josh: Is that who it was? I can't remember actually.

Tommy: Jeez. But I have even picked up, like, it gives you a complex. It's like when Amy said, oh, you're something about— she's just making a joke, receding hairline, and I just fucking grew this massive complex.

Josh: Did I tell you about the, the, what was it called, uh, what, what, receding hairline? Did I tell you about the, the, uh, someone had commented on a photo that Bri posted? Did I tell you about this?

Tommy: What did it say though?

Josh: So it said, um, the guy commented about the receding, my receding hairline. Yeah, but what I didn't realise was the caption that Bri had used, which made the joke work. She was saying something like, oh, this, this photo has given Josh a facelift or something. Yeah. And, um, oh, the wind is giving Josh a facelift because I was like, he said, and a receding hairline.

Tommy: But he was sort of saying blowing back, but I didn't see that bit.

Josh: And so I got real aggro and screen grabbed what this guy— did you know this bit? Maybe not.

Tommy: No, I'm pretty sure you sent it to me.

Josh: But no, but I screen grabbed it, I put on Insta Story.

Tommy: Oh, did you?

Josh: And I said Maybe that's where I saw it. What I love about social media is all the people who you don't give a fuck about commenting on your appearance. And then—

Tommy: Zero to 100 real quick.

Josh: But Bree even fucking approved it. She's like, yeah, if you want to, you can do it. Maybe that's why I'm off Instagram. And then—

Tommy: I've never done anything like that.

Josh: Mum jumps on Facebook Messenger and she goes, huh, do you think maybe the guy was joking? And I look back and I was a bit pissed at Bree because you didn't give me the full context. You didn't say that that was happening.

Tommy: Taking a joke, like, how often have you heard that in your life? Can't take a joke or take a joke. I mean, maybe you more so than others.

Josh: Have you misinterpreted ever someone that was joking and you took it seriously? Because what I find is whenever you take something seriously that was a joke, all it actually does is it normally reveals your stance on either A, that person, person, 'cause I was like, I dug in and went real hard, or to your insecurity.

Tommy: It revealed, so there's a few things it can do, reveal how you feel about them or reveal the true person that they actually are because they're being malicious. We had a moment the other night when we were out for dinner and I lost my mind about a joke a guy said. So we were at a Chinese restaurant, high-end, Chinese restaurant.

Josh: They don't exist. Do they?

Tommy: Flower Drum, one of the best Chinese restaurants. It's been around for 25 years, 30 years or something.

Josh: Is Dragon, is the Dragon place, is that high end? Do you remember the Red Dragon or something? He's running Docklands. Where's this one?

Tommy: The Flower Drum. This one is top end of the city.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: What do you call it?

Josh: The Paris End.

Tommy: Paris End, yeah. And it was, so the guy said to me something about around Carl Williams, the gangland figure that was slayed in jail, who was one of the biggest ecstasy dealers in Melbourne and around Australia. And he was, anyway, he sponsored your upbringing. Yeah, he sponsored a lot of people I know, definitely would have. Anyway, it was his favourite restaurant. And you just, the idea of that dude who was a bogan, who just was cashed up because he was dealing drugs, probably buying, on the menu there's it was a $12,000 bottle of wine. We were just laughing, but someone said, oh, this is Carl Williams' favourite place. I fucking lost it for some reason. The dude who'd organised it got offended on the joke that the guy made, and he thought it was an attack at his choice on a restaurant. And there was a bit of like— the conversation actually went to, I think you missed the— I think you've missed it here. I don't think he's not being malicious.

Josh: The funny thing is the guy reacted like a bogan. Yeah, it's just so— what, like, what did you take out of it? Do you actually think that it was a— because I could understand you're organising a bucks party. Yeah, for a bunch of people, someone who hasn't organised it at all says something like, oh, you know, like, say if I organized—

Tommy: like, though, it was— I mean, I was probably more at fault for laughing so hard. I got in this moment where I haven't laughed so hard.

Josh: Was it because— do you think that guy was sensitive of Maybe he felt like he'd overbaked.

Tommy: I mean, it happened. It was like a last-minute thing. We had a good hookup that we could get a table on a Saturday night.

Josh: Because Chinese, in Australian Chinese, is, um, it's traditionally— well, I guess, is that what, um, Eddie Buckingham is sort of doing, like bringing higher-end Chinese?

Tommy: I think that's modern. I think that's modern. This is traditional high-end Chinese. I think Eddie's doing traditional with a bit of a modern flair. When you say traditional modern venue, this venue is all like red carpet. You walk in and it's known in Melbourne. So I think people save their money who live out further that wouldn't do this normally.

Josh: I wonder what Eddie would think of Flower Drum.

Tommy: I think he'd love it because it does— they have top quality food, lobster fucking stir fry, like legit. And so, but there is, there's, there's bogans in there. There is. I walked in, I was like, fuck, is the horse racing been on? People just come from the V8s.

Josh: This is where they go out, like, now that there's no— what's the, what's the, the dogs that race?

Tommy: Oh, the trots.

Josh: The greyhounds. Greyhounds.

Tommy: Yeah, the greyhounds literally won and rocked up there. Anyway, so there was all of that, but I know the guy who said it. He's a bit of a provocateur, like just a charismatic dude that's just having a yarn. So I don't think there was, but if you delve deep, maybe he's sort of just highlighting something.

Josh: So what was the outcome?

Tommy: The outcome was that— Was this the person who reacted? —might have just missed the mark. And we love him and we don't judge his choice on restaurant. We were loving it. We're having fun.

Josh: But it is a bit embarrassing for him when people step in being like, oh, settle down. Yeah, don't you think? Or no, would you not be embarrassed?

Tommy: The risk of saying take a joke, mate. Yeah, because all they've done is perceived the thing that was set out with the intention of it being a joke as either I'm reading into it, I know there's context here as to why something is running deeper than that.

Josh: Do you think that you're more like— I feel like you're more likely to always support the take a joke guy, the guy who says take a joke.

Tommy: Yeah, because my first initial thought is, as much as some, there could be something deeper, most people aren't trying to be malicious unless there's something we don't know about. And so I will be like, let's look at what if we didn't have to blow up about this, if this is not a regular thing. It's like maybe just like, What's it worth to the night? What's it worth to the friendship? And that's a call that I can say from the outside, which could be a good perspective because it's never happened before, or it could be a missed perspective based on the context he has about how many times this guy has fucked with him. Yeah. And so I would agree. I'd tend to be like, let's fucking— it's the culture of the banter with the boys when you're young. The problem is though, fucking with each other.

Josh: But the thing is, the chill out, bro, it's just a joke can just infuriate you more as well. 100%. Because it's like, don't tell me to chill, like this is how I feel.

Tommy: Stress less. Fuck off.

Josh: Anyway, so I was arriving at mum and dad's, arriving home. Mum and dad have just watched something on the iPad or whatever. And they're both around the kitchen table standing up. And mum says, oh, we have got some good news. Yeah. And so straight away I went to thinking about like, oh, my brother in the States, maybe something about that. Who's died? What money? Yeah, well, I was thinking like, like we've come into some money.

Tommy: That's what I would think. We got some good news.

Josh: We got some good news.

Tommy: Family holiday, you're paying for it.

Josh: Mum was like really happy. Yeah. And I called you straight away to get them to retell what the good news was. So funny. Because the good news was the local—

Tommy: No, no, no, no, you need to do it in Lindt.

Josh: Josh, Josh, we've got some good news. Oh yeah, what is it? What is it? That was a German accent. Don't do that again. And then she says, the local pizza place has started doing gyros again. I was like, what the fuck did you just say?

Tommy: She called a family meeting to say that they've now got the rotisserie spin here again.

Josh: I couldn't believe it. I was just like, I've never even had it before. My buy-in is so low. I just thought it was outrageous how high she'd elevated that news.

Tommy: How did she take it on? I mean, you called me and you wanted to say it again. Is that the same guy that's walking past? Oh yeah, that was the same guy in the Bruce Lee top. He's just going up and down. Sad state. He just looked in the payment, the parking metre to see if there's a few bucks in there. Yeah. God. But yeah, does she take that? It's almost like the take a joke or like, does she know like you've elevated that she's, it's a bit outrageous the fact that she called a meeting to, she pretty much, so depending on the mood, she took it well, but sometimes she'd be like, this is why I don't tell you anything.

Josh: She'd get really upset, like, "I'm trying to have a serious conversation. I'm trying to have a conversation with you and all you do is have a go and it'll be on your podcast and that's why I don't listen." Plenty of reasons why you don't listen, Lynn. She's worked out how to do it on her car and stuff.

Tommy: She knows how to listen.

Josh: Okay, hey Lynn. Yeah, if you're listening.

Tommy: But you were correcting all your assumptions as to why you don't listen.

Josh: Well, the problem is that she goes to family events and some of the family listen and they say, "Oh yeah, Josh does your voice." They do that. They say that. So they fucking, they stir the pot. It's got cut through, Lynn.

Tommy: That's why we do it. Admin time.

Josh: Couple of updates. Oh yeah. What's happening with the ham?

Tommy: There's Hamgate.

Josh: We can't talk about the ham. I think we can talk about trigger warning from BK. Yeah. We're talking about Ham for a second. I had a good chat with him today, this morning, saw him at down at Casati's. Yeah, just talking about things. No, I completely get it. But yeah, very quickly, where is it at?

Tommy: I've been trying to call. I've tried yesterday, tried the day before, tried this morning. Here's the thing, to win it through Nova The radio station in Melbourne, you need to literally listen to the whole fucking show to hear one of three songs. And when the song goes off, they've got you. This is how they build TSL, time spent listening, is by getting idiots who've got a podcast that try and win, you know, prizes from a radio station, i.e., ham for Christmas. You're gonna listen to the whole 9 to 12 show.

Josh: What are you gonna do? Christmas is coming up. I'm happy to buy. I'm happy to spend I'm willing to buy the way you're talking that you did that voice again, I think. Did anyone else pick up on that? Hi, The Daily Talk Show. I'm just willing to buy. It's a mum in Brighton. Brighton. Do you get what I mean or no? I get it, but it's me. It'd be like me just. But is that why, like, because it is, does your, I guess your mum speaks a little bit like, she's very softly sort of spoken. Am I a little bit?

Tommy: Yes, because you say, "Hi darling." It'd be like me saying that you're a bit rugged.

Josh: I am, but that's what I'm saying.

Tommy: You're a product of Lynn Jansen.

Josh: And I think I am. I don't have the posh. I think there's something a bit posh.

Tommy: Maybe, but that's okay.

Josh: Yeah, it is. I think Jules has this, Jules Lund. Oh, he sounds a bit English.

Tommy: His brother, Jules Lund's brother, legit. I mean, he does live on superyachts. With Rich Men. So that will do it. He's like, he runs all the crew and stuff. Fully sounds like he's from just fresh out of London.

Josh: There's definitely a certain voice.

Tommy: There definitely is. So the update of The Ham, what he can do. It's a tall feat to be listening to the show nonstop. I'm happy to buy and deliver to Rollboard the winner of The Ham. We won't say, no spend, no say. Yeah. A ham.

Josh: A ham. Are you just going to get some champagne ham from Coles? A few slices worth.

Tommy: All it is is a sticker half ripped off of the pricing.

Josh: It's actually Straz. You want Straz?

Tommy: Guys, until we actually get a sponsor, we don't have any budget, but then we'll just have fizzy water, so we then won't have any budget.

Josh: So we'll work something out.

Tommy: We'll get something. We have to. 100%. 100% we will get some form of ham to Rob Ward.

Josh: And you're going to find out how, like, can you report back maybe mid next week, Wednesday? I think the cutoff will have to be Friday. Fat Fridays. Why don't we deliver the ham on Fat Friday? I like that. Why don't we head to Quad Lock HQ?

Tommy: Yeah, we'll head there. We'll deliver some ham. Maybe we'll do a live ham show.

Josh: It's a— sorry, big game. Double down on the ham. Double down. Double hand. Double damn.

Tommy: Yeah, so any other? The other one is the book.

Josh: Yes. Mr. 97's been working on the website, which will be launching Tuesday. Yep, just an update also on Mr.

Tommy: 97. He's had his wisdom teeth out, poor young fella.

Josh: Oh, actually I forgot to— I was gonna message him. Are you good like that? Are you good at messaging people when they're going into surgery?

Tommy: I mean, I told him yesterday, good luck.

Josh: Yeah, that's nice. I don't know. Yeah, he's getting his wisdom teeth out. Yeah, I asked for him to get some content. Yeah, so we'll see. Can you post that photo on Instagram? I don't have Instagram, as people know, of Fat Friday. No, Tony Roach. Oh yeah, maybe it's an Insta storey if you want. Yeah, so I'd mentioned that, uh, uh, when I was a kid, I did a— was in a Double TFM promo, got to, um, uh, be coached by tennis legend Tony Roach at Kuyong.

Tommy: He's old as fuck. He must be dead. Let's R.I.P. if you are, Tony.

Josh: Do you want to look it up? Tony Roach?

Tommy: I can only do one thing at once. And what's that? Putting up the Tony Roach pic.

Josh: They're not going to hear this right this second.

Tommy: So which one do you want?

Josh: Just Google Tony Roach.

Tommy: Close the loop. Is Tony— Tony Roach, where are you?

Josh: See if he's alive or not.

Tommy: Tony Roach tennis, pick that.

Josh: Look at the Wikipedia stuff. Um, when was he born? How old is he? How old is he? He must be— he would have been in his late 70s. No, he's probably still— he's an athlete.

Tommy: He's probably 1945. Oh, 45? Yeah, 1945. Retired.

Josh: No, that's only 1945. That's— that means he's Anthony Dalton Roach.

Tommy: So Tony, uh, 17th of May, 1945. My mum was 48, and we were thinking that he was dead.

Josh: What sort of assholes are we?

Tommy: So he was— he— the photo that you had, man, he did look great. He looked old then.

Josh: And so how old is he?

Tommy: What does that— yeah, so he's 70. What's that? My mum's 70 years old, he's 70. Doesn't it just say 45, 67, 73? 73.

Josh: Yeah, he was born in Wagga Wagga.

Tommy: I was looking at how much money he made from his career. Made $500 grand. Good on you, Tone.

Josh: Tone Dog. It doesn't say whether, you know, he's not dead. No, he's not dead. No, he's, and he's young still. It's amazing. That's great. No, but he was a, mate, if it, he turned pro in 1968. But yeah, there's a, it's interesting. He looks the same age as what he did when he was coaching me.

Tommy: And but you're like, you're like 4 years old or something in that photo.

Josh: Yeah, it was, it was, uh, it would have been mid-'90s I think. But, um, yes, uh, update on, uh, the book. Yeah, uh, you'll be able to make bids, uh, from around Tuesday. We'll have, um, on Tuesday we'll give you the address to be able to do that. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you do want to just send us a bid in the meantime.

Tommy: Current bid is at $500 AUD. It's hell. You can pay in, you can pay in USD if you want.

Josh: It's held by Trevor Long.

Tommy: Held by Trevor Long from EFTM. Shout out to Trev.

Josh: He's got a great podcast.

Tommy: How are you? Where's the— I haven't asked you in a couple of days. I'm like a bit scared, you know, that when a person takes on that big endeavour and you just don't really want to ask because it could, it could be a really bad answer and it'll be like an awkward conversation.

Josh: Well, I'm only at chapter 3, but I'm planning on doing like 5 hours on the weekend. Okay. So I have—

Tommy: You see, it is a good I mean, what we do is like, what's the input versus the reward?

Josh: I'm looking forward to getting it done. I think that the issue is that now I just wanna read and enjoy books. Are you enjoying uni?

Tommy: Looking forward to finishing uni?

Josh: Yeah, it's the exact same.

Tommy: Okay, I can read into that.

Josh: So for those people who don't know, I'm writing Seth Godin's book, "This Is Marketing" by hand. And we are selling it for charity.

Tommy: That's what the whole thing is. So he's rewriting.

Josh: Yeah, it's a daily talk show, everyone. Fat Fridays, another one down.

Tommy: Last one next week until Christmas, until after Christmas, but I'll be away and we'll still be doing the show, but I will be up in Sydney and you'll be in Melbourne. So we'll still— the whole thing about Christmas, it's Fat Week. Yeah, that doesn't rhyme, that's shit, but the whole week's Fatty.

Josh: Yeah, no idea. What are you gonna eat?

Tommy: Very quickly, we have turkey or no turkey? I have everything. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, that's the Daily Talk Show, everyone.

Josh: Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. Otherwise, have a great weekend. Yeah, we'll see you on Monday. Catch ya, bye.