Travel tension in Central Park

Breana: Wait a minute!

Tommy: Crossface, the Daily Talk Show. A conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Jansen and Tommy Jackett.

Breana: It's the—

Josh: is that your sound?

Breana: That was me, I'm sorry.

Tommy: What are you doing? Doing your teeth?

Breana: Yeah.

Josh: It's a daily—

Breana: oh, okay, sorry again.

Josh: It's a daily talk show. No, we're not leaving it. It's the Daily Talk Show, everyone, episode 187. Hey guys, this is what happens when we have a third mic and we get Bree.

Breana: Hi.

Tommy: Well, she was cleaning her teeth, uh, as you were trying to do the intro. It's quite funny.

Breana: Sorry.

Josh: We're live from Central Park.

Breana: Yes.

Tommy: Yeah, it's where we are sitting is such a great spot. If you've seen John Wick, 2. It's one of the locations. I know you haven't, Josh, but yeah, there's this amazing scene around this fountain in Central Park where he meets this guy, and then there's this— anyway, it's this— it sets up for the final John Wick. So that comes out, and I've been really hoping that we can see some filming going on because it's all set here in New York. A lot of it's set in New York.

Josh: It's a series, is it?

Tommy: Uh, it's John Wick is a movie, and it's into its third third installment. So that doesn't come out till next year.

Breana: I think the real shame though, like looking out, everyone's on boats and the partner is like rowing or whatever you call it. What do you call it when they're like rowing?

Josh: When they're rowing? Rowing?

Tommy: It's a rowboat.

Breana: But a second ago, if you guys looked up, every girl was like on her iPhone, like filming the moment, taking photos. Like there was about 5 of them and every single one was doing it. I mean, I'm guilty of it.

Tommy: If you come to Central Park, this is one of the things that people want to do is go rowing these rowboats next to this amazing, like, little boathouse cafe restaurant. Probably uber expensive. And it's— yeah, Central Park is ginormous. What did I say before? Melbourne's the size of Melbourne. Melbourne CBD fits inside of Central Park. It just gives you the size of the park, but also the size of New York City.

Josh: And that fact— where do you even get that?

Tommy: Um, I made it up. No, I got it somewhere. But mate, do you know all the facts, all the things that you have in your head? No, but I just like that fact.

Josh: No, I like the fact, but also you've got to keep in mind that—

Breana: Do you think it's wrong?

Josh: Are you doubting it? No, I'm not doubting it, but I just know that your level of confidence with things that you're not sure on is very strong.

Breana: Are you referring to the time, many times we tried to direct you in a certain way around New York and we got it wrong?

Josh: Correct. Tommy's looking at his phone.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. 3.8 miles squared.

Josh: Yeah. And so yeah, I guess the CBD is a lot smaller than that.

Tommy: Yeah. You guys talk because I need to get this photo.

Breana: Well, this is a big city. Massive. It feels overwhelming compared to the places that we've just been in all over Europe as well.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Well, to put it in perspective, we walked, we walked Uh, well, it would have taken 5,000 steps. No, but it would have taken us 55 minutes just from downtown to walk up here. Yeah, which is a very long way away. Yeah, it's— yeah, it's huge. I love this city.

Josh: Yesterday we had Brad Blanks on the show. Yeah, it was good fun.

Tommy: He is a great bloke. Yeah, there's something about Aussies.

Breana: 29,000, sorry, steps.

Tommy: Yeah, we did 29,000.

Breana: That's 20 kilometers. I know we've moved on, but Yeah, mate, I haven't moved on.

Tommy: My legs are fucked. I'll just quickly tell you that story. I went to the toilet then in Central Park. There is like— I appreciate the amount of toilets they have on offer in their public toilet here because it's like 20 in a row and they're free. And they're free, unlike some places.

Josh: The cubicles in the US have big gaps on the side so you can actually see people peeing.

Tommy: That is weird. And the difference in the toilet bowl here to Melbourne or into Australia, the water's really high It can almost touch your bum. And these toilets that I just went to are so low, and the door of the toilet comes up to like below my shoulder. So when you walk in, you can just look in the cubicle next to you. If there was someone in there, you could totally just see them doing their business. And so there was no one next to me, and I sat down, and then a guy walked in and out of all of the free toilets came into the one next to mine. And sat down. And I was thinking, oh yeah, this is going to be a pain to stand up and do what you need to do.

Josh: Wipe your ass.

Tommy: Wipe your ass, correct. And so I was like, oh, this guy's next to me now. I can't stand all the way up. I just have to kind of like get in a half squat position.

Josh: You've done what Brad Blanks does on the red carpet. What have I done? In the sense of his, uh, right, like kneeling down so he doesn't go too high.

Breana: He's 6'5".

Tommy: Yeah, that would look weird. And then all of a sudden what's his name, Adam Sandler, would be like, holy geez, go onto our Reddit if you haven't seen it. Yeah, but my quads, I just had to lock them and I started sweating and then I was just getting— I got it done and then yeah, it was a nightmare. That exerted so much energy, but maybe it's because we've done 30,000 steps, nearly 30,000 steps.

Josh: I don't shit in public toilets. Why not?

Breana: Because it makes him nervous.

Josh: It doesn't make me nervous, but I just feel like I'm pretty regimented in the sense of I I shit before I shower. I just, I like it that way.

Breana: I don't like pooing in public places.

Josh: If you could hate it.

Tommy: I mean, I didn't poo in—

Josh: The only people who say that they shit in public places or public toilets, you only do that because you're someone who needs to shit.

Breana: I don't even like pooing with people around.

Tommy: Yeah, no, that's true. Look, if I have the option, I'll rather shit at home. Exactly.

Breana: On your own.

Josh: Have you ever lived somewhere where you haven't felt comfortable?

Tommy: Have I lived somewhere? I think when I first started living with girls and I was immature.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And I, it was a big deal. But that was the only time I was just more considerate and thought, and I grew up in a house of boys and my mom who is, she's one of us, but I think she's adapted to what boys are like.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Pretty gross, pretty disgusting, pretty disgusting and vocal. But I was— I am also— she taught me to be considerate. And so for the place that I lived in with the girl, I was, um, considerate, although she was not considerate.

Breana: You are very considerate, Josh.

Josh: I am.

Tommy: Yeah, you're very good in the sense of the toilet, in the sense of he didn't turn the fan on when he went the other day.

Josh: I didn't know they had a fan. The annoying thing about our Airbnb is you flick up to turn the lights and fan on.

Tommy: Well, here's a fact. Even if mine was incorrect about Melbourne, here we go. Airbnb's illegal in New York City.

Josh: Illegal.

Breana: Illegal, not legal.

Tommy: I said illegal.

Breana: No, you said legal.

Josh: Illegal. Illegal.

Breana: Illegal. It sounded like you said anyway.

Josh: Airbnb's illegal.

Tommy: I'm an Aussie, mate. I don't— I get lazy through pronunciations of any word.

Breana: Did you actually look it up?

Josh: Did you look it up? Or do you just going off my fact that I gave you?

Tommy: We can have someone message in and, and—

Breana: Well, the guy from Airbnb told us that.

Tommy: Oh no, I'm going off your facts.

Josh: Yeah, absolutely. No, Airbnb in the US is— no, sorry, in New York City specifically is illegal.

Tommy: Well, I mean, I had one here in 2012 and I didn't get a sense that I didn't see anything. I just looked up. It's bizarre that they allow it then. Like you can—

Josh: Well, I think it's similar to like how UberX is illegal, was illegal for a long time. It's like they're playing in this grey area. But you've just got to be careful. Yeah.

Tommy: Well, Melbourne, it was always the conversation getting into an Uber in the early days.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Ooh, this is naughty. And so we're being pretty naughty. What happens? Is there any cases that you've heard of where people have been kicked out of their apartments?

Josh: I think that the only issue would be when shit hits the fan. So I think it's only an issue if all of a sudden, say, body corporate or whatever they call it here got pissed off. The people were doing it, they'd say, well, you're not allowed to do it. Yeah, I'm sure you could get fined.

Tommy: And what about if we like trash the joint? We have a Studio 54 party here in New York City.

Josh: What's Studio 54?

Tommy: It was a loose nightclub in New York City.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: There's a film about it. Sorry, that was a silly thing to say.

Josh: Why? There was a film?

Tommy: There was a film about it.

Josh: Why is that?

Tommy: Why is it for you?

Josh: Oh yeah, I haven't seen it. No, but you won't watch it. I could watch it, but No, there's insurance because there's been like ice addicts and stuff who rent an Airbnb.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Get fucking loose. Yeah. Have ice-fueled orgies, get really disgusting and then leave, trash the place.

Tommy: You'd be absolutely devastated if there was an ice— Yeah, I'm one of those guys who had an ice—

Josh: It wasn't your own.

Tommy: I wasn't invited. They had it in my house. I wasn't involved.

Breana: Yeah.

Josh: It's not ideal. But what have you learned about yourself? You know, we're a few days in. What have you learned now being away from Bodhi, being away from Amy? What are the things from a travelling point of view, travelling with a couple? What are you learning about yourself? Yeah.

Breana: We're pretty easy to travel with.

Tommy: You guys are very easy to travel with. Why is that? Why are you easy to travel with?

Josh: I think because, well, we've been travelling for the last 3 months.

Tommy: You said yourself you were.

Josh: Easy. Yeah.

Tommy: So do you think that has been— I'm just flipping the questioning here. Do you think, because I'm interested to know, what have you learned from traveling? How to be a good traveller or how to be a considerate person around other people? Because you've been staying in homes.

Breana: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah. We've hung out with people. We've stayed in their places. I think that there's maybe there's a— I don't know.

Breana: And we're just easy. I think it's just because we don't mind necessarily necessarily what we do. We're not like, we have to do everything. We're sort of just like, oh, happy to chill, walk around, do whatever you want to do.

Tommy: Um, you know what I think it is though too, is doing this podcast together, Josh, and spending a lot of time riding each other's emotions. Yeah, because when you travel with somebody, you, you're getting every bit of them. You're getting them when they're a bit cranky, really happy, just—

Breana: that's true—

Tommy: average. Like can't be fucked, don't want to talk.

Josh: You don't bite at everything too, right? I think you can't feed off any, like the, if one person's feeling negative, it's probably good when it's in, there's 3 people traveling. So when I'm in a shit mood, Bree can sort of hold the fort. And then when Bree's in a shit mood, I can be in a shit mood.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: I sort of let it down. And then I can come in and save the day.

Tommy: Guys, I'm checking up.

Josh: And then you can just be like, hey guys, please hold on.

Breana: No, but I feel like when you're in a 3, it does help. 'Cause if you're in a bit of a shitty mood and you're sort of both being a bit snappy with Tommy and I, then we, Tommy and I together, can kind of get a bit like sort of joke around about it to you or sort of give you, and then you sort of cheer up rather than me just being like, why are you shitty again? Or I don't know.

Tommy: Yeah. I know with the difference between a partner and a friend is that you really, you'd bite more or you at least say what's wrong? Like what's happening? Why are you like this? Like I know with Amy, I do it a lot and I probably should just, let her ride the emotion and not jump at the first moment that she starts getting a bit crabby with me 'cause that's probably what's happened.

Josh: But it's always—

Breana: I mean, I do that to you.

Josh: It's so obvious though in the sense of what it is. Like these emotions come out when like you're hungry. Like before you ate breakfast today, you're fucking antsy, you're ready for food and for coffee.

Tommy: Okay, so here's the thing. I am being, not considerate, I'm being a good traveler, as in being patient to wait for you guys. Because in my head I go, in my day-to-day life, I get up and I start my day and I get out the door and I fucking start. When you're with people, you have to wait. There's 2 people that need a shower and I can't just have a shower and be like, catch ya.

Josh: And that's the thing. It's not like it because even taking that example in my head, I was like, let's not have showers now. Let's go do breakfast and all that sort of thing and then come back later. And then so when you were like, I want to have a shower. Then it's like, okay, so now we're all having showers.

Breana: Look, we all got out of the door by like 7:30.

Tommy: It was a good effort, but I did find myself having to have a bit of a reality check.

Josh: A reflection in the moment. It's just, it's a numbers thing, right? In the sense of like when you have one bathroom.

Breana: And it's also not like we were all slow. We all got ready pretty like everyone had their shower and— I mean, you had a shower, you showered, I dried my hair. It all worked in sync.

Tommy: I love getting up and getting out the door. Yeah, which is what we probably should, what we could do.

Breana: But what would you, I would think that was pretty quick though, because we woke up at what, 6:45 and we were out of the door by like 7:30. So to me, from waking up for 3 people to have showers, get ready, that's getting going, starting your day, man.

Tommy: Bodie and I are up and out the door, showered, shit, shoe shine, shave.

Breana: He's a baby.

Tommy: Within 5 minutes.

Josh: You just hose him down.

Breana: 5 minutes?

Tommy: No, no.

Breana: Once he wake up it.

Tommy: Maybe that's me, because I'm always trying to get Amy to hurry up.

Josh: But it's definitely a tension. I know that when Mum and Dad have travelled with people, it's the when people wake up and when they're ready and all that sort of thing. And the funny thing is that the just having more people in one space, you can both all be thinking the same things. I just wish, because the thing is, if you think about it, you wanted to leave earlier. I wanted to leave earlier. But my tactic was if we have a shower, it's all going to take longer. Your tactic is shower doesn't take very long.

Breana: Yeah.

Josh: So then we all have showers and it ends up—

Breana: In conclusion, I think we all did pretty well.

Tommy: Yeah, we did a good job.

Breana: We got out within 45 minutes. We all like to sort of wake up sort of early. I mean, I think there would be issues if we were like, oh no, we always get up at 11, or you know what I mean? There are people that wake up much later.

Tommy: I remember having sleepovers as a kid and there was one, and you, and there was definitely families. I don't know what you guys were like, your families that slept in late.

Breana: No.

Tommy: My dad was up first thing, mum was up, you know, our family was early risers and that's probably why I'm, you know, really great in the morning in terms of just getting into the day. But there was this kid Redmond that I went to school with, sorry, we lived down the street from. I met him by throwing rocks at him from one side of the road and he was throwing rocks back at me and then we became really good mates.

Josh: Perfect.

Tommy: And we're childhood friends.

Josh: It's sort of what's happening with Kim Jong-un and President Moon right now, isn't it? Did you buy each other a dog? Do you say that's what North Korea has? Apparently it's a way of showing peace, they give pet dogs. So like North Korea just the other day.

Tommy: Imagine the, imagine the pen of dogs that have been given, just like, oh, there's a whole bunch of dogs just barking around. Here in New York, I will get back to the storey about Redmond, my childhood friend, But have you noticed we're walking past these like, they're almost pens that have, it looks like kitty litter and they're for pets. It's like in the, have you not noticed them?

Josh: No.

Tommy: I'll point them out on the way back. They look like giant sand pits with like brick walls. So it's just like, it'd be like a tennis court that has brick walls around it. But the stuff on the ground is almost kitty litter.

Josh: And it's just shit everywhere.

Tommy: Well, I think it's just for dogs to run about. Okay, and there's signs that say, "Curb your dog." Do we know what that means? I've never heard that expression. Yeah, kerb your dog. What does that mean? Curb your dog. Curb Your Enthusiasm, the show. So we can kerb your curb, like hold it, hold, hold it, hold your shit.

Josh: I don't know, kerb your dog, kerb your dog. It's signs everywhere in New York. I'm gonna Google what kerb your dog actually means.

Breana: I mean, I don't notice anything. I'm terrible.

Tommy: So Redmond's family were late risers. And I just remember lying in bed when I'd woken up and I was too scared to wake up the family. Not that they would have done anything, but I was just like, I think I was just being a polite kid.

Breana: Waiting in bed.

Tommy: But I remember the feeling. And so when you told me that you were staying with some great friends in Barcelona and they like Barcelona go to bed, what, 1 AM?

Josh: Yeah, it's very different.

Tommy: Dinner at like, I spoke to you, you're like, dude, can we push the podcast? 'til tomorrow. I haven't eaten dinner, it's 10 PM. And then they sleep in because, as you would, you get your 8 hours. That inside, I was like, oh, that is just channelling that.

Breana: Because then they have siestas and it's like a different, I mean, it's just a different way.

Tommy: 100%, it's a culture, right?

Josh: To kerb your dog simply means that you steer her towards the street to eliminate the, to eliminate The ideal place for her to go is in the street just off the curb.

Tommy: Oh, interesting. Yeah, kerb your dog.

Josh: Curb your dog.

Tommy: Yeah, name of the episode, Curb Your Dog.

Josh: Yeah, it's a new, it's a, it's a, uh, it's a new, it's a New York specific thing.

Breana: I'm just watching that girl really struggle. It's not how you deliver it.

Josh: Oh wow.

Tommy: If we look right now, let's count the amount of boats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. How many men are rowing? 1, 2, 3. Yeah, 4.

Josh: About 60%.

Breana: I mean, you go, girl. 5.

Josh: She's doing it. There's another—

Breana: there's a woman doing it over there. Another one.

Tommy: Oh yeah. Wow. Oh my God, 80%. 80%.

Josh: Got a lady who's on— I thought she was reading. She's just got one of those Samsung Notes that's got like the, the, uh, cover.

Tommy: Oh guys, there's a turtle!

Breana: Where?

Tommy: See the little thing there? The head just went down.

Breana: Oh cute.

Josh: So clearly didn't see it.

Breana: No, it was just there right in front of us. I saw it.

Josh: Okay, I'm sorry.

Tommy: There's turtles all through.

Josh: So what have you learned, TJ, as a traveler?

Tommy: Yeah, what have I learned?

Breana: Well, it's only 3 days in.

Tommy: Oh, 3 days in. Josh likes to hit the lessons hard.

Breana: I know, they're hard questions. Like every time he meets a new friend, like one of my friends or something, within like the first hour he's like, what's your 5-year plan?

Josh: I don't answer the 5-year plan. I don't have a 5-year plan.

Tommy: It's a good question. Gets you thinking. It's definitely a thought-provoking question. What have I learned? But I take away these— you know the thing about learnings? Sometimes they're happening, but you're not actually articulating them and you're just working shit out. And I think for traveling, it's like I hadn't thought as deep about that being a considerate person. Like how you described me this morning and what I was thinking was completely different. I was thinking, I'll just have a quick I'll take a shower because you guys don't want to have them, and then we'll go. Yeah, mine will be super quick. Yeah, then you're like, oh, well, because if you're starting, I'm gonna make sure you get it done.

Josh: But this is the difference, but when you travel, you can't be individualistic because it's like we have to shower at some time. So then we would probably— it's that thing of like, it's that moment, it's saying, well, I could just have a quick shower and then we'll be out the door. But then when's Josh and Bree gonna have a shower? It's either like we go and have breakfast, then come back, and then you're sitting and waiting for us to have a shower.

Breana: We're giving a lot of airtime to this. In conclusion, we actually had a great morning and 45 minutes getting ready, all 3 of us. I think the shit was good. Like dried my hair and everything.

Tommy: Washed it. I'm glad we've brought it up because I was going to fucking bring it up later.

Josh: And well, it's good that it wasn't a blow-up. We have two sets. We've spoken about that. Our Airbnb has two sets of keys. Oh yeah, it's a blow-up set.

Tommy: Yeah, well, it's like when you get the two cards. How many cards do you want at the hotel?

Josh: Yeah, well, we get two. Get—

Tommy: better get two. Why? Because if you're out having a blow-up with your partner, I'm off, I'm out of here.

Josh: Exactly. I don't have a local SIM. So that you know how to get back.

Tommy: Have you guys had any blowups that have been the take the spare keys and get the fuck out of here? Without those words.

Josh: Not on the trip.

Breana: Not on this trip.

Josh: I think we had one in London a few years ago.

Breana: Yeah, it was like a bit of a breakup. It was when we're going to Notting Hill, we're in London. I remember, I can't remember exactly what we were fighting about, but basically—

Tommy: This is where all great love films are, in New York or London.

Breana: Do you remember we were walking to meet friends for lunch or something and maybe it was to do with directions, but there was all these other things that just made this argument way bigger bigger than what it needed to be. And I can just remember being like, what's stuff that I'm going away? And I walked off and I didn't have a phone and I just left you.

Tommy: Is it fair to say there's more of a problem? Say fighting in a relationship is 100% going to happen. If you were to be remembering the exact, or you'd be able to go, ah, we've been blowing up about this. It's probably more of a problem. Like that's probably a good gauge. Cause I can't remember. Like I could tell you the fights that Amy and I had maybe, But in my head it's like—

Josh: It's normally because one of the— Very similar. Someone's hungry.

Breana: No, no, you know what I mean? It's like it's a concoction of things, but mainly on this trip I feel like the biggest arguments have all been around me wanting to do things or whatever, maybe Josh not being as keen, or me feeling like, oh, I just want to get going for the day. But Josh is more someone that like wants to sit for a little bit at home, like trying to sort of do things online and work on stuff.

Josh: I think the thing is I want to plan. Like what?

Breana: And I'm like, let's just go out.

Josh: Yeah, well, the thing is, it's like I bet so. Part of it is that when traveling, I'm just easy. I just don't like the sort of the going to 6 different cafes before we sit down and find one. I like just having the one and doing it. And so that's the pushback. It's like if we know that this is where we're going, like you think about today, we know that we're going to go to the Landmark Diner and we're going to eat there. It's like, it's very easy because we know like we're going to A to B.

Breana: But even some mornings you would know exactly where we're going. You just maybe weren't that keen.

Tommy: No, I think that, but what about for like, if you look at life, a lot of great things do happen when you haven't planned and when you are just on that journey and found places.

Breana: Yeah, but we've had great things happen online.

Josh: But I think that the thing is, I think what gets people shitty is when you apply things. So you're like, oh, this person, 'Oh, this person is this, this person just likes to sit or isn't as adventurous or this or that.' But the thing is, it's like, people just like doing things different ways. And that's the difference.

Breana: That's not to say that you did that every day though, 'cause you didn't. But what I'm trying to say is that, I mean, we've been travelling for 3, nearly 3 and a half months. So I think it sort of gets exhausting to them. Sometimes you do and you feel guilty. I did have those moments where we'd be sitting in the hotel or whatever. And I'd be like, we're in Santorini or we're in Slovenia, we're like somewhere amazing and we're sitting down. But at the same time, like you've gotta do a reality check. It's like you've been travelling for 3 months, you've been go, go, go the whole time. Sitting in your hotel room isn't a bad thing. I don't think you need to move around every second.

Josh: I don't think you have to move around. For one, I don't think you need to move around every second. Like part of the thing of being away for 3 months was it's like, I wanna be able to sit in one spot and just be able to like being inspired and being able to work in a new location is for me a holiday. Like I don't have to be going.

Tommy: I think I'm looking at this trip as 2 weeks and I've got my learnings.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I travelled in 2012 for 4 weeks with my mate. I was 23 or whatever it was. And I'm tired. I don't have what I used to have. Like I did so much more and I'm like, I'm struggling in terms of how I feel. And I'm not unfit, but it's just so different.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so, yeah, I definitely don't have the stamina.

Josh: Yeah, more responsibilities, or— but I think that you can— some people place too much thoughts on what a trip needs to be. Yeah. And I think that that's where it gets hard, is it's like when you have all these expectations, or it's like the other thing too is like Bree loves beaches. I'm not much of a beach guy. So if we go to an island, I think it's okay. Like, I think in a couple relationship, I think it's okay if you're travelling for a few months that you're like, you know, you go to the beach today, I'm going to do something else. Yeah, that's probably a good learning as well.

Tommy: Do you think you're closer from being away and being in each other's pockets? Because that's another thing, being with someone like you guys, when you have a life, as in your home and you're working and you, you know, got a bit of a routine, you're away from each other for 9 hours of the day.

Breana: I think it maybe has made, I mean, we've been together a long time, nearly 11 years. And I feel like we are closer. I mean, it's made me definitely realise that we've come a long way in our relationship in terms of getting like, I don't think we've had a big blowup or anything like that. Like we've had issues and stuff like that, but we've been able to communicate a lot better and sort of work through things, I think. 'Cause we basically are relying on each other to have the best trip. And it's just like, I think we've, been out because we don't have all the distractions of home or any of that sort of stuff. So if you do have a fight or whatever, I think I instantly am more like, okay.

Josh: You have to deal with it straight away.

Breana: You have to deal with it straight away.

Josh: Because it's not like you go away and you've got work and all that sort of thing. It's like, well, we have it. The annoying thing is anytime that, or it's good as well, but anytime you fight.

Breana: It's when I'm hungry.

Josh: But it's also the thing of like, if you fight on a Saturday, in Melbourne, it's like, you know what, I'm going to do my own thing. I'm going to go into work. I'm going to do that sort of thing. And Bree's like, I'm going to go shopping or I'm going to hang out with friends. And the thing is that when you travel, it's a bit harder to do some of that sort of stuff. It becomes a bit more elevated or escalated when it's like, oh, I'm not going to spend the day. Like, we didn't really have a day where it's like where we didn't spend the day together.

Tommy: Yeah, well, that's good. New fresh couples you know, that travel and it's just disastrous.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because I think after 10 years, Amy and I, after 5 years of knowing each other, you've, you're not just going, I don't think she's for me. That's not your instant thought. Where early days in relationships you can go, you're still sussing it out.

Breana: Come on.

Tommy: But maybe it's why like marriages stay together that have had the history.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I'm not saying you guys are that, but it's like marriages that aren't really working, but then they're going, It's not for me. Oh, hang on. You've got a lot of history here. Maybe you should just work this out. Yeah. It's a, yeah. You learn a lot. Travelling you learn a lot.

Josh: Travelling couples too, like when we, every couple that we walk past in Europe is having some sort of argument.

Breana: Arguing about food or directions. Yeah. To be honest with you, that was our arguments. It was about food and it was about directions and probably me.

Josh: And it was definitely about the thing of, the thing around—

Breana: And being hungry as well.

Josh: No, not the hungry thing, but I think about what we're gonna do during the day or whatever. Because I have moments like if there's something that I want to do, like when we were in Amsterdam and there was IBC, like the big conference I wanted to go to, I'd be up and going and doing all the stuff. And same with New York. And but when it's when you're in an island and the thing is that you've got like the buffet breakfast and then you sort of you're going to walk out and do like a— to me, I don't have enough of a mission for the day to really feel the need to get up. But when you know—

Breana: Although Paros you did. We got the buggy, we drove around the island, we went to all the beaches.

Josh: We had the buggy.

Breana: That's because I looked it up. And did all that.

Josh: I'm not much of a planner.

Tommy: I just want to shout out to my wife who's not on the podcast today and thank you for allowing me to come on this trip. Not that she, you know, I think no, actually it is allow. It's a mutual decision. And if she wasn't cool with it, it would be one that I would massively value that feeling that she has because I have to.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because I care about it. But it's, yeah. She's doing her thing back home in Melbourne with our baby and it's hard. So thank you.

Josh: What are the conversations in the sense of like, do you feel like when I get back, I'm going to do this? When you're a parent, is it transactional in that regard? Do you say, okay, well, I'm going to like next weekend, you relax.

Breana: Amy can go do something for her that's—

Tommy: Oh yeah. I'm all for that. All that. We haven't spoken about that. Here's an interesting thing. She's had some like learnings. And the hard thing is it comes from a hard thing, like being by yourself and being thrown into that reality where she's, you know, this— I'll just let you in this. It's not personal, but it's like having a kid and doing the cooking is fucking hard because the kid just wants your attention. And so what Amy was thinking was, you know, it's too hard to do the— make a meal while Bodhi's there, like cook a full pasta or something like bolognese sauce from scratch. And she said it was— she just did it. We cut up all the vegetables before we went, before I went, I did that. And so I was like, easy just to sort of throw it all in. That was her thinking. Then she said it was still so hard. But what she did realize, but Bodhi was demanding her attention and she said to him, Darling, I've got to finish this food. And so she— and what she was doing normally was as soon as he's demanding attention, you do it instantly. Like a kid wants your attention, you're like, you turn and everything gets distracted of what you're doing. You get not focused on what you were doing and you're now focused on your kids. Just like, it's like when they cry, it's like a fucking alarm siren with inside you. It's this weird internal thing where you need to come to the rescue of your kid. But if you ignore them, no, but if you just don't give them the attention, they will be all right. And so that's something that was hard because she's by herself, but she would not know that and have that internal realisation if she wasn't in this situation.

Josh: Do you learn from your parents? Like, do you? Because I think all of our parents have sort of done it. They've all had kids and had to somehow managed to cook and do all that sort of thing. Do you? Do you find that it is one of those ones, generational learning, where you actually say, "Mum, what should we do in these scenarios?" Or is it a path that needs to be done on your own?

Tommy: I think leading by example is a massive teaching tool for kids. I know my dad, I used— and I've only thought about this since becoming a dad— is I remember him coming home, he'd play with us. You know, I always see him unpacking the dishwasher and doing bits and pieces, and Mum was doing everything as well. But I've been— I've started just like getting on the front foot about everything. When I come out in the morning, I'll unpack the dishwasher. I would never have done that. And I just think, if I don't do it now, it's never going to get done. And that's— but I remember my dad doing that, and I just remember him not complaining about having to do it. And I always thought Fuck, how does he, like, how do you do that?

Josh: Because the thing is, the doing is never as bad as the tension of not doing as well. That's the other thing too.

Breana: You've definitely gotten a lot better.

Josh: Yeah.

Breana: Right before we left in terms of, because I used to do, would you say everything really?

Josh: Yeah. I mean, you did a lot of the stuff, but I think at the same time as everything. Yeah. But we did, we don't cook. So like we've cooked maybe. We maybe cook.

Tommy: I know you guys.

Josh: Once every 2 weeks.

Breana: We make grilled chicken on the barbecue.

Josh: Once every 2 weeks we cook.

Tommy: So the thing is, I'm not saying you can't cook.

Josh: Yeah, but the thing is, when you think about everything, it's not like there's weak— the worst that would ever happen at our apartment is there was water, the cups with water.

Breana: Yeah, but no, because you don't think about that. But I clean the toilet, I clean the showers, I vacuum the floors, I do all of that. I do the dishwasher.

Tommy: I wipe over the kitchen. Like, I'm with you. I need to lift my game when it comes to cleaning the bathroom.

Breana: Even just picking stuff up off the ground.

Tommy: Somehow that shit gets clean. I don't know, how good is it that you just—

Breana: that's what I find remarkable.

Tommy: A nice tidy toilet.

Josh: No, I do agree.

Breana: You started to help with the washing in the end. You've got to say, out of all of, like, even on this trip, I've done the washing every time we've had a washing machine. I've done it.

Tommy: Amazing. When I've got a bit going on, so when we get to LA, uh, we're just gonna do wash and fold in LA. Oh, we're gonna pay for it.

Josh: All right, it's cheap, it's cheap. No, but I think that, I mean, for me, this is maybe it speaks to my laziness. Like I only have 3 t-shirts now. Like I don't have, I've built out a wardrobe that doesn't require much because I don't wanna have to do, I don't wanna spend my time having to do that shit.

Breana: But in the past year, I must say before we went away, I don't know, something in you just started like sometimes you would do the washing without me even prompting you. You'd be like, "I'm just doing washing." And I'd be like, "Oh, okay." The thing is because I think that it annoys me.

Josh: It's one of those things where it's, I can't remember who was talking about, that's right, Greg Burrell. I was watching some of his standup comedian and he was talking about his sort of the forgetful and pedantic. So he would leave something on the ground and be like, who's left this here?

Tommy: And it was him.

Josh: And I think that in some regards, I'm like the lazy neat freak. So like, it annoys me when I have shit around. I don't leave it around, but I do want to do it.

Breana: And I have OCD, so I just automatically pick things up because in my head it's not worth the— it takes me 2 seconds, it makes me feel better. But then at the same time, I'm not giving him the opportunity.

Josh: But yeah, I want to get 2 seconds, there's less tension than between us. Like, do you know what I think it is though? It's having a— the trick isn't for washing, like, you know, all the washing stuff, all the clothes stuff. It's not. Picking it up, but it's actually having a place where it actually goes. Because storage has been the biggest issue. Like when we get a new apartment, when we get back, storage is gonna be a massive one. Like when I have, for instance, my shirt that I'm wearing today, this shirt, I went to put it on the ground last night. I was like, oh, I have a hanger and I've got like the wardrobe. So I put it on the hanger. And when I have that, then it becomes a lot easier. And when you've only got like 3 or 4 t-shirts, it's like, I hang the 3 or 4 t-shirts on and that's it.

Tommy: I think having a tidy place or like a, not even, I mean, think about a clinical environment that sort of really clean surfaces and everything put away. You don't want to mess that up. And so you probably actively try, cause it's, everything's got a place. Amy and I've been talking about that a lot. We've like, It's like, oh, we just need one more room. But it's like, I wonder, I really hope it would be just that one more room to have the laundry where we can put everything and some boxes. But if you deal with the space you've got and you make it work there, then it's like, I don't know, it's maybe that you always want more.

Breana: I mean, I'm happy that we can start fresh and stuff. And like, we got rid of a lot of our stuff before we left. So that's really good. So we can literally, it's a good opportunity to start fresh, not have too much shit in the house. And all that sort of thing. I mean, we always have a tidy place. I have a bit of OCD, so I don't exactly expect Josh to be able to, because I'm a pain in the ass.

Josh: No, but I don't think it's that. I think, but also the other thing too is for a lot of times I had like an office space at home as well.

Breana: Yeah, exactly.

Josh: And I had camera equipment and shit too. So it's like all of a sudden I've got like 3 times as many things because all of my work stuff is in the home. And so it's great being able to seperate.

Tommy: Well, when we get back, we'll have our office space. Yeah, nice and neat and tidy gear. I'm looking forward to cleaning up my shit and then combining it, and we've got no option but to make it good. Yeah, because otherwise it'll be a nightmare. And Bree will be in there trying to fix it.

Breana: But I've been wondering, because did Josh— because Josh packed all his stuff up and all that before he left, didn't he?

Tommy: Yes, it was clutter, and I contributed to it. I think I was like, I don't care about that now.

Josh: Yeah, so I think we're both in the same headspace.

Tommy: Yeah, I was fine.

Breana: But you both know you're going to start and then you have it together and then you get a bit of a system going.

Tommy: 100%.

Breana: So you'll be fine.

Josh: Systems are the, I think the backbone to all this stuff. I don't think it comes natural to anyone. I just think that some people are better at creating systems and being disciplined than others.

Breana: My thing, a system helps my mind. If I've got a system for something or something is, I can clearly think about it properly, like, hey, this is where this goes, This is that, done. Don't have to even think about it.

Tommy: A system, it's the same with a plan. Love a plan. Very similar. They give you a clear roadmap for success in the system for, you know, you're tired, how your gear's put away.

Josh: Well, you shouldn't have to wait until you're on your last pair of socks before you're doing the washing.

Tommy: Yeah. Oh, before we left, mate, I went and took all of our washing with Amy. 'cause we had loads and loads. And dude, 'cause you go to a laundromat, having a kid, it's just never ending. 'Cause the kid wears like, he shit himself daily. It's amazing how many clothes he has.

Josh: I don't shit myself at all.

Tommy: No, but it's not to say that you haven't.

Josh: Good job. Yeah, it's true.

Tommy: Yeah, it's similar, but it's great. And hey, if you've just, you know, come here because of Brad Blanks episode yesterday, Bree is Josh's partner. Girlfriend. And this is—

Josh: you gave me pushback from saying partner yesterday.

Tommy: Well, you said this guy and Bree and I were there, but I was standing behind you and Tommy, you were standing together and we were at a very accepting place.

Josh: Yeah, so it did look like the world. Yeah, Tommy and I were a couple potentially.

Breana: He sort of looked shocked when he looks behind and saw me.

Tommy: Yeah, there's this little, this little, uh, what I was going to say something, but it's probably not politically Fag hag, you know how people say that?

Josh: 100%.

Tommy: This is what people used to say. Yeah, I know.

Breana: I was wondering where you were going. I was going to say hobbit.

Josh: I'll take that. Little hobbit.

Tommy: I probably would have got slammed more for saying hobbit, calling you a hobbit.

Josh: Yeah, maybe.

Tommy: That was fucking rude, mate.

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send any complaints about anything Tommy or any of us have said. And reddit.com/r/thedailytalkshow where we are posting links to shit. If you've got any insights into the conversations we're having, it's good to go on there and talk about it. Tomorrow, Josh Pittiman, he was the lead male talent in Beautiful, the Carole King musical in Australia.

Tommy: Yeah, and he's actually one of my friends named Josh who can can really sing.

Josh: Yeah, and when I said lead male talent, that sounded funny. I think I just meant male lead.

Tommy: Yeah, he's one of the main cast in that, in that show. I think it's because there is the, the whole show centred around a woman.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he's just, he's the— you probably— you're sure we want to shine the light on the woman. Yeah, because she is the show. It's about a woman, you know. And anyway, Josh is not playing Carol. Spoiler alert.

Breana: Sorry, he's a lead support role.

Josh: Yeah. There we go. Today on the Talk Show, everyone. I don't know, actually, I don't know if that's correct. Josh is like, because you don't want to put support in there then. Yeah, because he's the lead.

Breana: Okay, he's the lead. Whatever. Cool.

Tommy: Lead male.

Josh: Today on the Talk Show. But does he do his own washing?

Breana: Anyway, fuck it.

Josh: Catch ya. Bye.