Croc-gate

Tommy: Wait a minute!

Josh: Crossface, the Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Janson and Tommy Jackett. It's the Daily Talk Show, episode 143. Tommy Jackett, good morning.

Tommy: Live from the car, love from the car park. Got in the car, Josh. The window was down in the back. It was freezing, mate.

Josh: Well, it was down because, like, it was left down?

Tommy: Oh, because Bodie and I play a game. He's worked out how he can turn the window, put the window down, the electric window, and he loses his mind when he does it. He's just the happiest kid alive. It's great.

Josh: But you're in St Kilda. You can't leave your window open in St Kilda.

Tommy: No, it's actually genius. So it's the back window and we've got like these shades that go over. The window, so you can't see. Like, if you're walking past, you couldn't tell that the window's down, but I could tell when I got into the car because it's freezing. And, uh, and currently you're in Capri sunning, sunning yourself in a pair of Crocs.

Josh: Uh, yeah, exactly. Did you like Derek? I posted that on, uh, Instagram. I had a— there was a photo of me, uh, on a boat, and, uh, Derek, very quick turnaround, old Dirty Derek, has, um, Photoshopped Crocs, and he's done a very good job of it.

Tommy: It was actually unbelievable. I had to double take. All we did, all we just got was an email just slid into our inbox and it said, "Safety first." And then I looked at the image and I was like, holy shit, Josh actually bought a pair of Crocs. And that's how good it is. Derek, shout out to you, mate. You've got too much time on your hands and I really appreciate how much time you have.

Josh: No, I think it's, um, yeah, Yeah, it was solid. No, Derek reminds me so much of me in a lot of ways, just willing to go the extra mile for a gag.

Tommy: It's solid. Hey, I've got one of those problems with a neighbour, and I reckon I've built out the storey in my head, but hear me out here. So I've been a bit passive with one of my neighbours. Do you have— have you ever done that?

Josh: Why?

Tommy: Because there's a problem with their recycling habits and their rubbish habits and what they're doing.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And they're just lazy, lazy, lazy. I really wanted to say the C word, but I won't. But it definitely has to be because there's some new neighbours that have rolled into the block and this has just started happening. So, I can only imagine that it's them, right?

Josh: So you're using communal bins and all of a sudden milk cartons are going in the wrong spot.

Tommy: No, it's something like that. So here's one, here's one version of lazy. Putting, and I get this because I do this, I take everything down in a garbage bag. So all my recycling, I put it into a garbage bag, I take it down to the bin, I then open the garbage bag and pour all of the recycling into the to the recycle bin. Then I take the bag back up, store it away, or if it's got shit all over it, I might use it for some rubbish or whatever. Anyway, so that's, that's the process. They just open the bit— they just open up the recycling bin and dump the garbage bag, the plastic bag— you can't put those in there— straight into the bin. And so that's—

Josh: but they've sorted it all though.

Tommy: Yeah, so it's been sorted, but they just don't bother to open up the bag and pour it in. So, all they've done is just chuck the whole entire thing. But it's gone one further, and this is the only reason I'm bringing it up. So, I came down the other day and I look at the bin. So, there's—

Josh: I hope it's gone one further because it's pretty, it's pretty, it's on the low level at the moment.

Tommy: Nah, so, okay, I came down, there's some, there's like a recycle bin and a rubbish bin right near our front door, which is the one that gets hit by most tenants because it's closest. And then the other ones are probably another 15 metres away. So, people just go straight to that one. But the bin was kind of like getting full and someone had just put a— Someone had put a full thing and this, it was like a full like shoe, you know, like if you went to some kind of shoe shop and bought a new pair of kicks, they'd give you like a, you know, a bag.

Josh: Or Crocs. Yeah.

Tommy: You went to a Crocs store, they'd give you like a nice bag. Paper bag that would hold your box of Crocs. And, um, and so there's just a box of Crocs bag full of shit, like full of recycling, just next to the bin. And I just thought that either I'm triggered or— tell me what you think. I looked at it and I just went, fucking lazy pigs. If like, there's another bin right 10 metres away.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And So all they've done is just put this down next to the bin. And so what I thought was like, if you don't do it, so the person, if the person doesn't do it, who else is meant to do it? Like you're just passing on this annoyance to someone else. Like it's so annoying. It's like, and I feel like I've become, you know, that dad that's like, well, if you aren't cleaning this up, who is?

Josh: I will.

Tommy: I'm going to have to clean this up.

Josh: I definitely, I definitely understand that. I even, I know when I had like a communal office, and I was sort of, you know, sub, you know, we had a few people all leasing. And if everyone's not aligned, you just sort of, I ended up sort of throwing my arms up being like, I'm not going to, you know, use the bin. I'm not going to use all that because I just don't want to have to deal with the communal bullshit that is people being lazy.

Tommy: So, what I did, it's a bit passive. I took the bag full of shit and I put it up right next to our front, to the entrance. Like the security door to our apartment.

Josh: I just put it there.

Tommy: I just put it there and I was like, if I came down and I saw that and I'd done that, I think I would probably get that someone is just like, mate, if you're not going to put it into the bin, fucking take it, take it away.

Josh: No, I think that that's probably where you're wrong. I reckon the people who are doing this and are clueless about that aren't going to get your passive hints. So, the only— I feel like it becomes this bigger issue because you're end up— this fight is going to continue and they're probably never— they don't give a shit about it, so they're just doing whatever. And they'll probably, like, if they're not mindful enough to do it in the first place, I don't know whether they would even be mindful enough to know that, oh yeah, that's my bag, and draw that conclusion.

Tommy: Yeah, because I came back down And it was just nicely put back to its place next to the bin.

Josh: Yeah. No fucking idea. Which is fine, I guess, but people are shit.

Tommy: The reason I'm even mentioning this, because I just sat in my car and I could see the bin. The bins have been taken out, so they need to be emptied. It's bin day and the bin bag is left back at the spot where the bins normally are and hasn't been put out. Because that's the thing. It's like, if you're going to put it down there just because you don't want to— there's no room. At least when the bins go out, take it out, you lazy prick.

Josh: Yeah, it would be next level, next level troll if you went in to do the podcast, it was just sitting in your back seat with access to the window that you left. This could, I mean, you could be starting a bit of a, bit of a neighbour war. How new are they?

Tommy: They, I reckon 4 weeks, not even.

Josh: Yeah. I mean, you know, I had issues with our dumb neighbour that burnt his place down. Well, like as in when I was in my apartment. Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, the proof is in the pudding when you burn your house down from smoking bongs.

Josh: When you burn your house down. Yeah. And then he, the day he had 6 months where they had to basically repair the apartment that he burnt down and he arrives back on day 1 and our doorbell rings. At like 3 in the morning. Yeah. And it's just him drunk being like, hey, hey, can you let me up? No fuck stick. I'm not letting you up. Like, I just couldn't, couldn't believe it. Yeah, it is like, but it is one of those things, whereas if you've got idiots that are living near you, like neighbours, I feel like, like I remember getting so antsy about it. Like I could never feel comfortable because I was always thinking, what fucking bullshit are they going to do now? And I did, I had a— It's all coming back to me, though. I had a go at him. That's because this is pre-The Daily Talk Show. I don't know if you remember this, but I did a Facebook post about my dumb neighbour. And then I said, "Oh, first he burns down his house and now he's fucking waking me up. Like, this guy is a drongo." Yeah. Then someone messaged me and said, haha, I know that guy. And then the next day we had a knock at the door and I looked through the peephole and it was him. I was like, oh fuck, here we go. And he gave us a bottle of wine. And Bree's currently holding up 4 fingers because she looked at— looked up how much the wine was worth and it was $4. Fuck off. I guess it's the thought that counts. It's the thought that counts.

Tommy: No, it's not. It's basically cooking wine.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. It's a flammable liquid.

Tommy: Yeah, that's how he burnt his house down. He ashed his ciggie into a glass of that shit that's so flammable.

Josh: I completely forgot about that story.

Tommy: I remember.

Josh: What a drongo.

Tommy: Didn't you record the conversation? Didn't you record a conversation?

Josh: Yeah, I did. Yes, because I— This is what— Okay, it's all coming back to me now. I actually went over the morning after on the Sunday. So, it was the Sunday morning at like 2 AM or whatever. And then we— It was literally next door to us, and so you could hear when the door would open and close next door. And I heard the door open. I looked through the peephole, like, from our apartment looking out to the sort of the, um, the main area, and I could see that a girl was leaving, uh, his place. And so he'd obviously, um, just had someone over. And I was like, you know what, I'm, I'm gonna say something. So I went out. That was right on the 9 AM, I knocked on his door. I just kept knocking, and then he finally answered. And that I was— I recorded that conversation because I'm like, he might punch me in the head. But I just said, um, yeah, you, you woke me up. Like, you— that, that, that person that you were, um, that you were calling through the doorbell, that was me. And I said, you've only been back for 2 days. You know, I said, Bree's retelling me the storey because it's all just coming back to me. But I said it was unacceptable because I said last time, I said, I'm on edge because last time I heard a noise, it was the fire alarm because you burnt down your apartment. And so, you know, like, how do you think this is making me feel in the morning? So, it's all coming back. But yeah, you don't want to be fighting with them.

Tommy: I just think about where that guy would have been at. Hungover, just had some girl over. He's, um, he's just feeling absolutely horrible. He's just been a pig of a man. Uh, he's probably had 1 hour sleep. And then he's 6-foot-3 Josh, just big man-child.

Josh: Yeah, big man-child. But the funny thing is, he opens the door, he's just got like a massive tat on his chest. It's just like, oh, like, if you're gonna go through that pain You're probably like still ready for a fight. So, it was a— Yeah, fuck, I completely— So, this is the funny thing was when this stuff used to happen, I remember I would always text Hamish and there's probably half a dozen times over the last like 4 years where I was on Hamish and Andy telling these stories. And I was always like, man, if I had my own show, I would have so much content. And since then I haven't had any, uh, neighbour try and burn their apartment down.

Tommy: I know that would have been so good.

Josh: Sorry about the zipping, you might be hearing a little bit of noise. There's Bree that just decides that when I'm doing the podcast that she's going to rearrange her whole bag by unzipping everything really loudly. Um, and then also the aircon, I don't completely understand how the fuck it works because I put it on, um, low, but every like a minute or so I'm hearing a massive blast. I don't know if people can hear that.

Tommy: I don't think they will. Mate, you're in summer. What's the temperature right now where you are?

Josh: The temperature right now would be, my guess, 30 degrees.

Tommy: Yeah, that's hot.

Josh: But before we left, so I haven't slept. I was just telling you before we press record, I basically, I was doing pretty well. It's currently like 10:20 PM. I was doing really well. And then about 9 o'clock, I was just like on the bed. I'm like, ah, I think I'm going to have to have a nap. I actually came up with a whole what I was going to do before I got really tired, and I still want to do it. I basically had this idea to flip the whole format of today's show, and I wanted to interview you. About your life, and then I just had a nap, and then I'm just like, I can't fucking— I can— I feel like I can't give the full attention to asking you really great questions.

Tommy: Yeah, so, uh, we're 15 minutes in already anyway, so, uh, yeah, be short one. And the connection, you keep dropping out of mind. I'm— no one will be hearing that.

Josh: Yeah, the connection's fucked. Just, uh, yeah, no, the connection is fairly poor. But so, before we left, or just after we left on the last episode, that was still the same day for me, but the opposite. So, that was 2 AM. We were doing yesterday's episode and it's now 10:30 PM. And so, I'm a little bit sleepy, but I can tell you a little storey about our boat experience.

Tommy: Hit us. Does it involve crocs? And when you purchase them, because I still think they're real.

Josh: It doesn't involve crocs, but no, the— can I just say, can I just say, it was a slight cost because even though we do our podcast early, every single time we do the podcast, I then upload it and all that sort of thing. It takes time. Before you know it, it still ended up being a little bit of a rush. And so, we basically— Actually, no, we recorded at 3:00 AM, didn't we? Not 2:30, it was 3:00 AM that we recorded the podcast. And at 4:30, we had to go down to the marina. It was going to be like a 25-minute walk. The problem is that we had it— We arrived at Capri and went straight to our hotel, and we went on like a cable cart type of deal. And going to the marina this morning at 4, leaving here at 4:30 AM, it's dark and the cable cart wasn't running. So, we had to just go downstairs, but we just couldn't fucking work out how to get down. So, we were like, we walked all this way downstairs and then like we're using our iPhone torches and then all of a sudden it just all like the, it just completely ends and we realised we'd gone the wrong way and we had to go up. Then I call the guy who we're meeting at the port, and he doesn't speak any English. Like, I'm trying to talk to him and saying, hey, yeah, we're here, we're just a tiny bit lost, we're trying to work out. And he's saying something back in Italian I can't understand. And so, we were meant to meet him at 5 o'clock, it's 10 past 5, we're in the port running around trying to find Bree. Like, I'm gonna go get the cash out at the ATM. There was just an ATM. Anyway, I then, uh, decided to go up to her and say, like, I haven't been able to find him. And I went and touched her back while she's at the ATM pulling out like a few hundred bucks, and she jumped out of her skin. I didn't realize, but obviously like she was on edge because it was pitch black and she's at an ATM.

Tommy: Mate, when you're wearing Crocs, you're basically a ninja.

Josh: I know people just— People, to be clear, people might not get the point. I was not wearing Crocs. I do not own Crocs. I've never owned Crocs. I've worn a lot of pairs of Sketchers, which I think is probably in a similar realm.

Tommy: It's called Croc gate.

Josh: Crocgate. Actually, that's fucking— that's a good— mate, the fact that you've given me the title, yeah, I'm really grateful. But anyway, it was a bit of a clusterfuck. And so we, um, I remember saying, I'm just like, why the fuck did we do Sunrise? Like, you know, you know, when you just sort of like lose the plot and you're just walking down.

Tommy: And I know how you walk. For everyone out there, Josh walks on his toes, so he looks like a bouncing tiger. And he would have been bouncing around this wharf. Where are we going? Just bit antsy.

Josh: Yeah. Oh no, I was annoyed. But anyway, we finally got onto the boat and it was, yeah, it was amazing. It was like, and I don't know how to describe the boat, but it was sort of one of those old school wooden boats with an engine. And it was still dark. Fuck, I'm useless.

Tommy: You ruined that one. And hang on, wait, when you say Is it like one of those ones you'd see on the French Riviera and they're like sort of that darkened polished wood? Sleek?

Josh: Yeah, yeah. But it had like a top, like it's got more of a— It's nicer than that. It's probably like a— What are those things? A catamaran? Maybe it's like a catamaran type of deal. I'm not good at explaining.

Tommy: Catamaran is different to— What I'm thinking.

Josh: Yeah, it's not a catamaran. And even when I think of catamaran, I get triggered because I remember being in Vanuatu when I was 12 years old with my dad, and we wouldn't really do, like, we weren't really the type to do a lot of things together. He would get quite grumpy with me, and I just remember mum thought it was great that, like, him and I were going on a catamaran, and he's just like, I remember we were stuck in the middle of the water in the catamaran. He's like, you're losing them, you've lost the momentum, because I didn't know how to use the steering and everything, and he wanted to steer, and I'm like, no, I've got this steering. And I remember I learned the word momentum on that day, which is not our official word of the day. No, but I remember being like, fuck, I'm never going to forget momentum because I'm just being yelled at about how I've lost it all.

Tommy: So I mean, that's a stressful situation, having to actually go out on your own catamaran. Not, yeah, with some bloke.

Josh: With me. It's a fucking nightmare. And he's having to deal with, you know, I was a little fat 12-year-old, you know, asking for Magnum ice creams at Vanuatu. I remember being like, man, that was crazy. Like, we spent $12 on a Magnum and, you know, they'll do anything to shut me up. But I also had hot chips at the pool, you know, like eating at a pool bar. I would just fucking sit there as a little fat 12-year-old just eating hot chips with tomato sauce.

Tommy: Just loving it.

Josh: It was a good life. But no, I don't know what it's called. It's like a, it's a boat. I'll put a photo up on the Instagram. But yeah, it was amazing. And the best part of it was the there was a lot of miscommunication in the sense of we wanted to basically go around the island. We had picked to do 4 hours. He didn't speak English, so we couldn't even really have that conversation beforehand. He would say in sort of broken English about like describing little bits and saying, oh, this is Mount Vesuvius, you know, Mount Vesuvius, and he would just sort of point and You know, impositano, but he's a really lovely guy. But anyway, he said to us, "Blue Grotto," and I said, "Yes," and I said, "Let's— We want to exit, we want to end at Blue Grotto because it's easier for us to get to our hotel if you drop us off there." And anyway, he was saying, he said, Free swimming. I didn't understand what he meant, and so we just went along with it. Anyway, rather than taking us to Blue Grotto at the end, which would have been around like 10 AM, we arrived at Blue Grotto straight away. It was the first place that we went to at about 6:30 in the morning. And he just says, oh, swim. He's sort of like motioning swimming. I was like, oh, okay. And so We— He gives us some goggles, like, you know, so the big goggles you'd use for snorkelling without the actual snorkel piece and the— A couple of noodles and just, you know, and we jumped into the water and he's actioning for us to go close to the, like, where the entrance is. So, for people who don't know, how would you describe Blue Grotto?

Tommy: I actually haven't been. But the water is just crystal clear, bright blue, unbelievable. And it's like in this, it's kind of like a rock cave that has this opening where the light gets in and people swim in there or you can, people drive boats in there.

Josh: Yeah. Well, so, the thing is it's not like, it's not like something, it's a tiny entrance, right. So, the only way that you can get in is they have this rope, this chain, and you basically go into a kayak. You basically, I think you pay, it's like €10 or whatever. You go into a kayak and they, it's like a blowholey thing where they wait until the water goes down. It goes, keeps going up and down covering the cave hole. So, you have to wait for it to go down and then they, you know, grab the chain and you go under. Anyway, it was early in the morning, so no one else was there, and he's gesturing for us to go closer to the hole, and he's probably about 80 metres away. And he's saying, you know, he's sort of gesturing for us to like duck under and to go in. He says, "It's beautiful." And we're like, we're getting closer to the hole, and as every time the water basically goes down, they have a huge suction of air, so it's just like blowing at us really hard. And Bree looks at a big sign which has like Italian writing up top, but at the bottom it's like, do not swim. Like, what does it say, Bree? Strictly for swimming strictly forbidden. And so, people don't swim at the Blue Grotto. The only way that you can do it, it's like a fucking— It'd be the equivalent of us riding on a roller coaster when Disneyland's closed. We're in— We've gotten into Disneyland and we see the roller coaster and we have the option of operating ourselves. And so, I'm like, I just flashed to where my mind went was the Thailand storey of the kids stuck in the fucking cave. I'm like, you know what's going to happen? I'm going to try and be adventurous. I'm going to go against the sign and then we're going to go under and that's all going to be fine. And then the place is going to fucking flood. And then we're going to have to either be rescued or we're going to die. That's basically the narrative. Good content.

Tommy: Great content.

Josh: And we thought you getting bitten by a shark would have been good content. Yeah. The Daily Talk Show live from Blue Grotto, the cage. It'd be pretty, yeah, it'd be interesting. It'd be very reverby. But anyway, so we decided, Bree and I decided, oh no, we're not going to fucking Do this, it's too risky. Anyway, then he take the— What did we decide the captain's actual title was? A helmsman. Helmsman. We've had to fucking Google it. We have no idea what a boat driver's called. A helmsman takes his top off, jumps into the water with one of those sort of like lifeguard fucking circle things and donuts. And swims. He would be probably in his 50s, I reckon, maybe late 40s. Rick? And he swims. Yeah. Oh no, it's probably the rig. Probably my rig. So, he's doing— You thought he was fit?

Tommy: Yeah, he was like—

Josh: That's very hurtful. I said he's like my rig and then Bree said, no, I thought he was fit. That's so fucking rude. After I just, I posted a photo on Instagram of my rig, which I have never done in my life. And I'm feeling very self-conscious. And now Bri's comparing me to the—

Tommy: He's in his 60s.

Josh: He's in his 60s, Bri said. She's like, no fucking idea, guys.

Tommy: Bri has something for an Italian 60-year-old.

Josh: Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: Capri.

Josh: He was a lovely guy. He's got a boat. But anyway, so he ends up taking us and we go in and we swim around and we fuck. It was amazing. And it was just like, we were so pumped once we'd done it. Like, it felt like we were so naughty and it was like, yeah, this is a— Lifetime opportunity. Like, who gets to do that?

Tommy: See, Josh, this is what it's felt like my whole life growing up, going for the naughty option.

Josh: #NaughtyOption. But the funny thing was that his name's Antonio and Bree, before I told this storey and before Bree posted about it on her Instagram, I said, can you just make sure before we talk about it that it's not culturally sensitive, like insensitive? In the sense that I was worried that if, like, for instance, if we were in Central Australia and there was like an indigenous site and it was like, do not take photos. And then all of a sudden we went early in the morning and took photos and like, ha, look, we took photos. Like, that'd be so uncool.

Tommy: Well, it's not Walkaturne's Rock, Uluru.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. And so, Yeah, so, I was slightly cautious of that, but Bri looked it up and she's like, "Ah, it's fine." And the funny thing was she found— She did a Google search and she found a TripAdvisor review from someone who said that they swam in Blue Grotto and they said, "We had this amazing tour guide named Antonio." Oh, yeah. So, this is Antonio's shtick.

Tommy: He's your man to go to if you want to swim in the—

Josh: Bit of a naughty boy. Good rig for a 60-year-old.

Tommy: From the Blue Grotto, go to Antonio, they say.

Josh: Yeah. So, there you go. It's— That's— It was an interesting experience. I'm literally just getting voicemail, voice messages from our B&B guy right now, which my first reaction was like through WhatsApp, he loves like You know how we talked about that in Israel, you know, people in Israel talking, doing, sending voice. He loves sending a voice message, but he's just sent one now, which got me thinking. I'm like, at 10:40 PM, I wonder if we're like connected to another room and we're keeping people awake.

Tommy: But, oh well, sorry, mate, the Daily Talk Show must go on. But listen, we will wrap it up, this one. We just need to mention Tony, Tony Rowan. Yeah, his email's coming through.

Josh: Otherwise, can I just, can I just say that I feel like I've done a lot of talking, but I'd like to point out that I've been doing it because the internet connection's so fucking bad and it feels like it's easier.

Tommy: Yeah, I actually went and got a coffee through that story.

Josh: But can you— I don't feel like you've spoke. We went from me going to do an episode where I interviewed you about your life to me, like, I feel like we've only told a boat storey and the neighbour story, but that's okay.

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show, sometimes worth recording.

Josh: Sometimes JJ. Yeah, exactly. And other times not.

Tommy: All right. So no, I'll finish with this email from Tony Rowan. He said, hi guys, loving the show and especially your now ODE. I was thinking, what's that? Overseas Deployment Edition. I actually liked that name. It's the ODE. And the potential hiccup storeys getting them to air daily. Back to the word. I use this word regularly in my correspondence when I'm trying to look—

Josh: This is a word of the day by the sounds of it.

Tommy: When he tries to look private school in my emails. I thought that was so clever. Just trying to look a bit private school, chief.

Josh: A little bit, a little bit fancy.

Tommy: So, the word is pertane, P-E-R-T-A-I-N, pertane. And so, the way he uses it is—

Josh: Can I have a guess? I haven't looked.

Tommy: Oh, good. Okay. Pertane. Tell me what you think.

Josh: Pertain, uh, pertain. You pertain something to. So it's like pertain. I probably only know it in regards to pertaining to. So would you say, hey, um, uh, I want to speak in regards pertaining to— I wouldn't even know a sentence. Um, this email is pertaining to the rubbish bin situation. Rimric— with the neighbors.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, you got it. So pertain— pertaining used instead of concerning, for instance. So yeah, great. It's basically— what does it be appropriate, related to, or applicable to? So their example: the shop premises and stock and all assets pertaining to the business.

Josh: Yeah, mate.

Tommy: It's in your head. You got it.

Josh: Because I do like it. It's a usable one.

Tommy: It's a usable one because you wouldn't, you wouldn't have to think too hard about in the sentence structure what it's actually meaning, but you still would be like, oh, there's a— oh yeah, didn't quite get that. It'd make you stop. It's a thumb scroller. It's a thumb stopper, as they say on the Instagram.

Josh: I do like it. It is, mate, I do like where Rowie's going with the The little bit of injection of private school.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: The one thing that I wanted to ask you before we go was I was putting together my joshjansen.com website. Like, I've had the— I've had a website on there for, you know, 15 years or whatever, but I thought I want to, as part of my #rebrand, which also my rebrand involves fizzy water. I now drink fizzy water. That's, that's part of it. But, um, the, the website, I started writing a little bio, and before you know it, I've somehow, uh, like gone a bit crazy with the bio. Do you think it's over the top to have like a full biography on your website? Like, is that next level narcissism? Did you—

Tommy: are you saying for your website? Because I missed half of that. Yeah, you just said—

Josh: yeah, so joshjansen.com. You go to joshjansen.com, and I started by telling a storey from 2004, and then unfortunately the way the storey's sort of gone, I'm just describing my life from every single year. Too much?

Tommy: Yes. I mean, summarise it in, in one sentence, leave that at the top in bold, and then just go into for more information, read below. And chances are they won't read, but if they do, I don't know if it's well written.

Josh: Well, because Derek Sivers, who founded CD Baby, who I filmed in New Zealand a couple of months ago for The Minimalists, he has this section where he's like, the 10-second version of me, the 10-minute version of me. I like that. And so I was thinking that that could be a cool practice. I would like to hear your biography. I'd love to hear you put together basically sort of like a blow-by-blow, but I would just— I wouldn't know how to. I've filled in this nice bit that I like, but then I'm like, oh, I've started in 2004, I was born in 1990. Do I need to like now go back and explain like everything?

Tommy: Are you writing first person, or is it Josh Janson is this?

Josh: Yeah, it's in first person to really bore, you know, to bore the fuck out of people because, you know, it's our show and we'll do what we want. I'll, it's only 300 words, so it will take me, how long does it say it will take me to read? I'm just going to give it, give you a crack and you tell me how boring it is or whether you think it's interesting.

Tommy: If you had a complex about speaking the whole entire time, you finished it.

Josh: Yeah. With my biography.

Tommy: Outrageous.

Josh: This is next level. This is what happens when I get tired. I go all Elon Musk, just not giving a fuck.

Tommy: Yeah, but less rich.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. No, no, yeah, no money. Here we go. I'm Josh Janson. I'm fulfilling my teenage dream of telling storeys for a living. In 2004, at the age of 14, I started freelancing as a video editor for a community television program, Rodda's Life on C31, working out of my bedroom in the outer suburbs of Melbourne, Australia. The year that followed became one of the most formative years of my life. I registered my first domain name, joshjanson.com, became obsessed with a new thing called podcasting, wrote my first blog post, and uploaded my first video to YouTube. The dawn of podcasting fed my love for technology. Platform— platforms like iTunes were not yet to incorporate podcasts into their library, and it hadn't appeared on the public radar at the time. Podcasts that were available were focused primarily on two topics: technology and people talking about podcasts. I subscribed to a broadcaster from Petaluma, California named Leo Laporte. I discovered him and a host of other technology journalists and presenters after watching the short-lived syndication of cable TV station TechTV in Australia in 2004. Leo began taking his weekend technology radio show, The Tech Guy, and uploaded it directly to a podcast feed. Soon after, more made-for-web video and audio programmes started launching when redundancies at tech TV left talented content creators and presenters without work. Born out of this was my favourite online video show, Dignation. A weekly video and audio podcast that covered the top storeys on the social news website dig.com. I religiously downloaded every episode of Dig Nation until their last show in 2011. It remains a constant inspiration in the way I create content for audiences. In the final 2 years of high school, I enrolled in a part-time film and television night course run by the Victorian College of the Arts called Foundations. At the time, I was the youngest participant participant in the program. Most Tuesdays and Thursday nights for 2 years were spent learning the ins and outs of filmmaking through lectures and practical assignments. I'm grateful that I had supportive parents who drove me the 1 hour each way to attend in the city. That's what I've written so far. Is that way too fucking much for my website?

Tommy: I panicked towards the end thinking that there's going to be another 15 minutes and I got to go get my son up. But I think it was well written. Finish it and then don't read the rest of this podcast. I think post it up.

Josh: Could you do it for your— I would actually be interested in you doing a bit of a bio. I feel like it's a really interesting process in understanding how we see ourselves.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: Now, do we keep calling this Crocgate? I feel like we need to name this another title to warn people about the Um, Josh Goes Elon Musk, Josh's Full Biography.

Tommy: Josh Goes Elon Musk.

Josh: Is that funny?

Tommy: I like that.

Josh: Or Croc Gate. Which do you prefer?

Tommy: Uh, Croc Gate's at the front because if people just listen to the first 10 minutes, yeah, then we've nailed it.

Josh: Perfect. Uh, well, sorry about that. This is what happens when I get tired.

Tommy: Go to sleep.

Josh: Yeah, hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address. Thanks, Tone, for your email. And man, we still— time's running out, Michelle's saying, for us to sort out this puzzle. So, first thing on the morning on my list is to get it sorted.

Tommy: Let's do that. Alright, guys, we'll see you tomorrow.

Josh: Have a good one.

Tommy: Bye.