#116 – Tommy’s wife Amy/

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Cross face

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conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Johnson and Tommy jacket, Episode 116 of the daily talk show. This is a me jacket in the studio. Hello? Yeah, it's a it's a rogue interview app. Yeah, I guess it's right now that we're doing every Friday. Yeah. Well, we've said that we don't worry. We do have an episode coming on Friday. There is an interview with Sam Mac, but have you finished eating? You're smart. He's Amy. I'm really I didn't know you're gonna start so quickly tell we wrong.

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So we're finished. We're going to finish they could they did you. I mean, if you if you haven't been a longtime listener, Tommy's wife

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from Sydney originally, correct? Correct. Tell us about yourself. What starts on you as as you know this one because you always make fun of it. Was it Sagittarius? There we go. So terrorists. Okay, interesting. Anyway,

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currently. And Josh, you've done this plenty of times when we're at my house. Don't get on the Joe show and start yelling. Ah, because there's always a slave. Our son is currently slaving was actually really good when when I came in. Now, he's ready to be really noisy. And I didn't. As Derek would say you've got the sexy voice on because you have the headphones, but I'm just trying to be a bit quiet. That's all. We don't see any special. Yeah, I

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I'm feeling a bit dehydrated. But I just spent a minute at the tap cat. Is it actually like spinning at the tap with the head down under the tab? Hmm. You might as well just drink water from behind. I guess I now he's lying down. It's been a long couple of days. Your cameras just hit the ground. I'm still listening. And we're chatting. It's really good. Or you can hear us really well. Yeah, sorry. Good. So um, you were telling me about Amy and a fucking shopping and driving us. I mean, you really just setting me up here. Well, you've been doing some we've, we had a bit of a TIFF,

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Tiff was trying to save money and mom gives us 100 bucks for me to buy a nice new coat. How fucking lovelies that really in a lot of CDs and then Amy says oh I've got to I'm thinking 50 bucks as perfect no users that bullshit fucking after pay or or they send you the send out to see you at two things being delivered correct what was the thinking behind what you're doing I'm going

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to choose from one of them

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choose from out of both of them someone back

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this you have to pay full price for them to get to die because you're using after pain so you only pay a quarter okay so you

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you you someone else's money pretty much and committed to a payment structure which is the after party but here's the thing Amy's been wearing one of the quotes for last three or four days testing

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the other one hasn't arrived yet how ridiculous is

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this and so I mentioned to you earlier that this was something I wanted to chat to you about and you and you just reeled off a bunch of other people that had done something even more outrageous so

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I felt really guilty about doing this the first time and I needed a dress for a wedding which we didn't end up going to because it was in Bali we ended up canceling notice or spot and we and so I was choosing between these dresses online and I I couldn't decide because I hadn't seen them on myself and the girls will act it's the iconic 60 day returns or whatever they are 30 day returns just get them try them on and then you can send whatever you don't want back and I felt so bad I'm like do you do this and one of the girls was like oh yeah

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I've won address to a wedding kept the tags on and then sent it back well I Bry using it notorious for sending stuff back she got unstuck yesterday though because she bought me an ins color t shirt as color shorts but I fucked up my sizing until I was a 3634 and I already said I've got the exact same shorts anyway so don't really need them and Bray went to just get a refund they don't do refunds yeah and so not ideal you know i don't i don't get a calm like you Josh and get online buying shit he kept like that is how many people so you know you've committed to a huge factor and all of a sudden you had to go hospital because she 60 days touch with it you don't but if you didn't you would have to pay full price for all of those dresses the six ones that you'd also have like light phone bills and a lot of other things for 60 days

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and I've been hospital I think

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the least of my worries because I think these companies are hoping hoping hoping hoping that you step outside of their T's and C's well you can only be I feel like you can only play this game if you're very organized well

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I from the iconic when I was choosing the dress for the wedding I ordered seven and sent back three

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so you've kept for and I intended to just keep one that's fact like I see out I see the after pay amounts going out

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there so my nude and it's so bad this is they've got to you the iconic one Hey dude I Bray Bray bought maybe that $700 worth of stuff from general pants to try it all on she did it It wasn't a common job but then returned in store and the person cracked it because it affects their budget so if you return it it goes minus onto there's so he was trying to convince her not to return it all nighter uncomfortable but I do

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do you see the silliness in this when we talk about is this do you feel the fear of this but the fear of spending the money

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and it sort of encouraging you to do this kind of shit and how it can trap trap trap you into a put you into a corner you know me I have a lot of feelings and I can share with you some of them currently. So I feel like if if a company is setting up to have free returns, they they know the consequences and they know that people are gonna take it where I've taken it and then far beyond that. So people are really going to take advantage of the system if humans are good at anything. It's finding a loser hello and taking advantage of the system correct? Yeah.

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And yes, I am afraid that I will go too far. But the thing was, I was not going on any I wasn't buying anything. I decided All right. That's it. No buying anything. And I feel that I'm pretty good when I set my mind to something not doing it. And then the beautiful Joanne jacket said Oh lovely. We want you to be warm is $100 toward the jacket I'm the most indecisive person on the planet I couldn't decide I found true jacket that had features that if put together would have made the perfect jacket

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sort of like a like a North Face Katmandu style thing. Is it more sort of heading if you just went to one of those stores got it for the price that you want. It probably

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has a hood one has a pocket to put your fine That one's made of down the other ones. polyester these lists lists, emotions motion buying online. Do you think it's easier than a common guy?

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You know, I think I think there is probably it's very impulsive. So in some regards, is more emotion attached to it. But Bray goes through and to add everything to the basket. And she'll slowly delete everything is nothing left. He goes. I'm dangerous, but I don't necessarily buy that much online. Yeah,

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like clothes and stuff. I tend to do it in bulk though. Like I'll get it from somewhere overseas. And I want to hit some sort of threshold like a $300 minimum or something like that. That's where they get me but what where do you splurge? Me? Was it Where do you spend your money? Do you think

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I was thinking about this today? It is it is close. Yes

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sir. Yeah, I think it's fine. Joe

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spin on clothes then the after pay I also splurge on bodies' clothes. Probably more than me. Definitely. What

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do you think having a kids changed? You find it so this guy's like, we don't have any I will. As in like, what about like the view on finance? Like how what did you use to spend money on that? You just don't have time for any more clothes.

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Still, you find a way to do it after pay. Thanks ourselves. I would probably add out more and go and more like weekends away. But that's not just money. I guess that's also time and yeah,

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baby sister. Here's the thing I've been thinking about the the things you can do with your children. The same fun but then you realize they cost a fuck. Load puffing Billy it's like this old trying in Melbourne. Up in the heels. Dude, it's $55 per adult. Really? Hundred and 10 just to yet. plus c kid well at riders. That is so fucking expensive with the fact he has 110 bucks Yeah, I was going little train What have you had any thoughts on what sort of like holidays and stuff you want to have as a family once

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we're grandma looks after Bodie

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to me enough times he took Bodie out the other day to it seems like the most ridiculous but looks like the coolest place ever which is it's basically just a place set up for taking Instagram photo yeah it's

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like a playground for Insta adults

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like science works with any of the science yeah cool so it's always a coach corsage works is we should stop

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it was a cold it's cold sugar Republic yeah so

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is this something created by added us or did I just make that up in the

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added us fast factory the old one but no

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I don't think so.

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All right. Describe it so what what it all in your walkie and what's going on? There's

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a lot of pastors, a lot of bright colors, a lot of neon lights. There's like a giant gumball machine that you can go into get photos. Lots of cool feature walls that you can stand in front of and get photos lollies everywhere. An ice cream machine a button that says press for confetti and then it just shoots out.

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It's amazing. I was actually saying to Tommy, he's old work experience kid. I said she works. She's working there. He said Nah, man. It's, she's working in a lolly shop. And I checked she was just working

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bright colors and kind of looks like a Willy Wonka's factory. Hmm. Here's the thing $38 to get in. per person. per person. Back off. That is so ridiculous. And you had some friends down from Sydney. Yeah.

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So who wants to become Instagram famous? So he was loving it. Right? So

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what do you what did you actually get for you? 38 bucks? What? Yeah, just get we

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get content

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to give me for like actual photos. Like today.

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You take the photos there's a few things so I think there are some things that you can eat along the way. And I thought that we will kind of come out with like a basket full of lollies but I think we had this little you know there's Shabbat bombs yeah we had a Shabbat bomb not good

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for your teeth

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horrendous there's a photo where we're all smiling with our mouth shut and we realize it's because we've all got it stinking

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yes shocking yeah I get into your mole is like real like the bank ones you can really fill up

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sitting in there waiting for the dentist I think it's actually so someone

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pointed out a photo that Josh and I were in the other day where I wasn't smiling I was smiling bit by teeth were showing was a photo with pages Shepherd yeah yeah and someone said my looky unhappy or something else because I didn't I had something in my teeth and I didn't want to smile and showers and so I just did this

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but someone pointed to that if he consistently smile smile If you got something in the teeth I mean this is the first time other than the time we got you singing and the show which was fun this is the first first time we've had you on properly yeah my real debut yeah this is the this is the follow up album will see her five odds

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feel confident cried show show early on I did okay

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what what is Tommy like as a husband

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he's probably quite similar to how he is as a friend but

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other stuff

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like what

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jealousy you

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know he's he's really great I think

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he was a negative and then go to a positive

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okay that will be AZ joking I think he what's great about Tommy is that where he strengths lie away all of my weaknesses are and vice versa so we're able to world and understanding of the world by saying things from each other's perspective and and and I guess we learn a lot from each other so

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i i guess i feel that I've grown a lot from being with him from learning from him because I came my default is to not bother anybody like my worst fee is to be a burden and tell me so I know if you need something just like go out there and and I'm like but you're putting so many people out he's like either it's their job or this is meant to happen or I really want this and I think a can of coke widget and I think I would put myself out to crazy degrees

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to avoid putting someone else out when he's like if it's gonna be a lot of effort for me and only a little bit for you then I'm gonna put you out that's okay and I think

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he is not very sensitive which I'm sure that you've noticed whereas effect whereas I can be over sensitive and I think that together we've probably

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helped each other time down a bit from Eric streams gaming

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in more respect Well, I just feel like the sensitive but I feel like what I in some regards it's similar in the sense of stock companies have my wife

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partnership and your positive very similar basically the same thing. No, but I I definitely feel like you are the cowboy and I am and I am less I like that. I'm like, let's not

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listening to the podcast in my lunch break. Which I doing thanks, Justin. I first time

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on the show officially. But sometimes

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I do like he the dynamic and some of the things or ways that you're talking to Tommy and almost, and I guess I'm assuming a lot, but sometimes I feel like I know your thoughts. And I go Oh, yeah, I used to feel like that. Yeah. But then from knowing Tommy

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think that I have

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changed a lot of my default. If that makes sense. It's hard seeing you. For me, for someone who doesn't care about putting other people out.

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And to some degree I do. But I think we've it's like something that you wanting, we wanted to get this message across. I feel like just talk up, you have no problem of asking for something. Yeah. But you ask someone how you can I have, can I have some of you nachos or something like that? And they'll say, I keep going on about that. It was a case today I actually saw was like not you're like, Okay,

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he's prepared for answers a the way he doesn't mind. Whereas like if I said, Could I have someone you you're not chosen? If they said no, I'd be like, I've offended them or after them out. And I would feel really awkward about it.

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Give me a sick feeling, no jargon that happened. I get that sort of sad feeling where I'm like, Ah, it's hard to describe. And so what I find is if we my partner with you, Amy, who I love I've, I said when you when you and vocalizing or I see an opportunity where you haven't done it and I see it kind of like oh yeah, I'm won't speak up now. That fucking fix me. So it

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does. Because this this actually caused some of our early on disagreements which I will go into. So if would be at a cafe and I'll say or can I have pancakes, but instead of cream? Can I have ice cream? And they'll go Yeah, no problem. And then they'll give me the pancakes. And that would give me Bush, isn't it? They'll give me the ice cream instead of the crime. Oh, God. Oh, well, that's okay. And

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I thought you said you wanted the ice cream, whatever

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I wanted. I didn't give it to the opposite. They gave

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you the crime. You want an ice

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cream ice cream. And so Tommy would go ask her and I'll go not. They're really busy. They run off they fight to get today. And he would go note and it would really stress him out because he wants me to get what I want. But what I had to I guess communicate was what I want more than getting the food that I ordered is like for everyone to be just chill and have a nice conversation and nice time here. If If I didn't eat whatever it was that I told them to give me or whatever, if they gave me something that I hated old asked for it. But it didn't really it didn't really bother me if it was just something that I would have preferred another thing Yeah,

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I feel like I can I can relate to that, like not wanting to. Um, yeah, feeling like it's just not worth the hassle. In the end. I think the learning for me is, even though you've sort of probably adapted a bit of that

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thinking yourself. There's also the realization that some things don't faze you as much as I as I think they would, because they faze me so much. Correct. And so sometimes you don't give a fuck, which is, it's almost like take on a bit of that flight. And I'm not this is not every occasion, but I think it because James the person who I asked for the nachos. What was actually the case in here, he's very much like this. We both have had moments. I think we're similar in that way. We'll just ask her. If they find something out. We'll get them to change it. And it's like, what? I watched him recently, like he was going to talk about he's not leave this one. So it's like five Nando's one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But you could see was affecting him. Yeah, but he went against it. Which I guess is probably a good skill. But I still think if you pay for something and all that, I wouldn't fight for it. If If what

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I asked for paid like cost more. And they didn't give it to me. I wouldn't pay for it. I'll ask them to take it off. Yeah, let God speak up about that. I

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hate people changing things online than what's on the menu. So removing items. I don't like that. I like going against things like that cafe that says we don't split bills get fact. Oh, yeah. Like I've had. I think you've been probably there, TJ when I've gotten annoyed at that. They say Are we do we can't split bills. I said, Okay, we'll just going to pay 50% on this card. And 50% on that card. And then sometimes I'll say that splitting the bill tell me

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is going well.

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Go fuck yourself.

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When Thomas said, you know, they've been like a $10 minimum on card. And he said, Well, my coffee was for 50. Yeah, I've got a card. What do you want me to do? I don't have any cash. And they've gone there's an ATM over there. Now. It's credit. That's all I have. Even though he could easily go check it out about it. They take it in the end, don't they? Yeah.

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My fucking half day. Like, what's the choice

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to me, though? I think this is just unnecessary friction. If you can do what they've asked you to do. Just do it. That's Yeah,

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I feel like I have those moments where I'm just like, I stand strong. Just like it just feels like it feels like an injustice

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in a very, very low sort of first world problem. Kind of white papers

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advocate. Yes.

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That's just not I think, yeah, that's,

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that's, that's my floor. Is that my floor? Was that you've got lots of flows down.

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Well, that's why I'm the one who knows these things. Right? What

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was the what was the biggest thing you notice when you started living together?

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I was dealing with Bray,

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10 years. Okay. So there's quite a lot. Yeah. Wow. It's a bit of an adjustment. Isn't it moving? Well, I mean, it's different. When brain I started, it was a different dynamic, because we're living at my parents place. I moved into your Yeah, Paris. So it's probably even more than 10 year No. Would have been 10 years ago. Yeah. When we're in move still in school. So it's like 11 years ago. Yeah, in school moved in. And so for the first like, two or three years, it was at my parents place, and then there was the adjustment in having to do like, I was sort of a bit by bit in some regards, like, Mom would do a lot of the washing and shit like that. And then it was, yeah, it's called living at home. Yeah,

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you would drop laundry off to your mom. Even when you when I'm not always

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wise. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, no, I don't think I would ever do that. Because I remember Yeah, I had an uncle who would do that with my Nana, where he was sort of it was known as the single when he was in his 40s and you still sort of like, you know, it's, it was sort of that thing like you could be successful or you could be like your uncle,

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not a good bloke is it so what were some of the things that you picked up on that Tommy did well when we first moved in together so before we started dating

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I had been single for about six years Tommy been single for for about four or five years and so we'd really kind of done like a lot of adult life as single people and I think set in our ways probably a little bit in terms of how we lived and then we were long distance so we didn't have to share a place together we weren't staying over at each other's houses for like extended periods so just went from long distance to living together and so it was pretty full on I think

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going back I can't really remember what I found I know that I found it really hard

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I think you're telling me now

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you know I found it had cried a lot um. Did you cry about

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outcry about are actually can't remember just to tell you the truth

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I'm not saying that's okay

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I'll drop the washing of a mommy

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sorry about all the T's on the guys yeah

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yeah well emotional person yeah just to preface it

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How do you like it yeah the internet I cannot remember any of that all I remember is there is it's just had for three months and then it got much much easier yeah got a transition is like going away with somebody we you know we the type that would go on school camp and cry we the client so it's definitely Tommy

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know the crying baby

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in a Kleenex add like for how you tried recently listening to a Kanye West songs. Beautiful.

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Okay, sure. So what what sort of sets you up for it's normally sort of the Is it the thinking about what are the topics that myki crowd so

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you wanting to therapy us right now? Yeah, the things that I

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know not know about Tony just just

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yeah I do. I'm just curious about like, what makes you tick if I

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probably if I feel

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really misrepresented like my intentions have been remaining understood in its hurt somebody or they see me as somebody who would attack them or something like that How would that something that world

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yeah or or personally I'm currently the

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crime is going down a bit recently. It

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has taken us off tell us maybe after having biting the crimes kind of gone down a bit. But then I'll cry random stuff like you're in a Kanye song. Yeah, yeah, true. But I've always been like that

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you used to do the weirdest thing when I first met you that was watching said videos before bed and you cry and then go to sleep.

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Some viral videos.

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sad, sad story videos. I think I used to really want to keep my heart open. And I thought that I had to take on a lot of pain from the world to do it.

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It sounds like a terrible I remember the worst decision of my life was buying my sister's keeper on blu ray

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we watched it once and we're like this is what when are we ever gonna watch this again? It was so sad people died in it for memory it was it was really bad but is there anything you want to clarify so people just don't walk away thinking that you weren't sad movies and cried was there other than that it's okay to cry No Not when was last time you cried there's nothing wrong with crying adores last time. I cried.

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cried more since meeting Amy. Since being with me that I have in my adult life. Actually. Definitely. I think I've mentioned it already. I can't read out not like for one if I say something nice about someone my ease ring which is annoying it happened again today when we have the guest on I think it's a psychological like I've now created as a thing as soon as I said something nice but if I read anything like I was reading a caption I think that I'd did for Bray and she said I'll what you like i said i wrote your birthday. Anything. So what do you ride? I started reading out as I

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said, that's I don't know why hearing up. Yeah, that was that would have been my so not that one guy a month ago.

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The last time you cried. We both cried together. You were in the car. And I was talking about how proud I was of me. Yeah, we both cried together. Yeah,

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we did. Yeah,

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they blame it's tied

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to the giving is really

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good.

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How many days ago? Was it

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last week? Maybe? Yeah. Last weekend? Was it about the podcast?

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It kind of was

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a gripe Oh, yeah, it was Debbie. Can we have a cry together? Yeah, I think we'll explore it. Okay, we can try

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you say something on air. Yeah,

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I'm, I'm opening my heart.

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Well, we were talking he was talking about

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that's where my heart is. That's where the heartbeat is. Anyway,

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sorry, going. You'd brought a topic to the table and said, I think that we should talk about this. And Tommy said no. And then he was saying I say now that I should like change the way that I approach things so that if somebody

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wants to talk about something, or like, rather than my first response being No, I should say, Okay, tell me why or what's your angle where you coming from, because I don't think I can bring anything to it. But but they probably can. So I should listen to them. And sometimes I feel like sometimes in the past I felt not listened to. And so when he said this, I just cry because I thought I'm so I'm so proud of you become a really great man. And not just that I think a lot of people can be really stuck in their ways. And like not this is just who I am, this is what I do. But I like that Tommy will choose to be flexible and choose to grow and grow in his awareness. And a lot of the things that I feel it can be frustrating when you're with somebody who's so different to you when you when you focus on yourself and not them if that makes sense. Because you're always going to if you're focusing on yourself, then you're going to see all of the things that that person doesn't have like I wish that they could be more the slack may or more dislike me and

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I really appreciate like the strengths in Tommy. But I also appreciate that he's really working on his strengths and his weaknesses or it's like I heard on a radio podcast so talking about the the best people on a can take and take the feedback from an air check and put it straight into the to the next break they do or the next show and I think that that's the equivalent of almost like life it's been told me being able to take feedback in and then actually saying a change Yes, I think he's the like, that's a really strong that's a massive strength to be able to do that. I think that's important. And

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I think that a lot of Tommy strengths he downplays in a lot of ways

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and he's like, there's so much more to him than what you first see. Because when I first saw him, I, I feel like I probably would have had a similar view to you. This is me, just like I said, assuming, but when I first met him, he came up to me at the potato head in Bali. And I was like this like, good looking radio, dude. Like, I really can't be bothered to impress him. And I'm sure that he's looking for someone to impress him. And it's not me and get away. And the more that I just spent time with him, I'm like, Oh, no, like, he's really lovely. And I thought that he was really arrogant when I first met him. And then I would notice things over time directing predicting, I would notice things over time, like, you know, people would be talking

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some random people that we would just met would be talking about people that Tommy nice personally, and I'll go, all right, here we go. The name drop, and he wouldn't, and you just chat or he would have stories that really related to what that was saying. That would make him look really good. But he wouldn't say them. No. And I remember like, questioning on them after and he's like, Oh, I didn't need to like that. Either. Like that. We're having a really good conversation, or I didn't feel like it would actually bring anything or they don't need to know that. And you Josh,

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I guess all is

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always about Josh.

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I know, I think it's about I also think the other thing too, is it's like we were different masks. And I think that

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yeah, I think that it's that whole thing of being like switching between some only say one mask of Tell me. Yeah. And then as you go through, when you realize that they're interchangeable, then it means you can have bigger discussions. And you can say actually, like, you don't need to put on this mask now, just and also like stress and all these things can default you to certain masks. And so sort of attitudes as well. And

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I think like I've never met anybody who like Tommy Bailey has, like, there's not really anyone that Tommy doesn't lock and he doesn't really hold any grudges. Even people who have traded him so badly. If they call him he'll be like, Hey, how's it going? And not you know, drawn that way. I think that he's good at putting boundaries in but he's, he's really forgiving and lovely. The only person that I know that he really doesn't like is to one of my friends who I think it was just because he saw she treated me pretty badly. At one point. I think he saw how much pain I was in. I that's where

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like it's water under a bridge for me. Now. Tell me he's a bit more he'll hold on a bit. That's why Brady struggle sometimes telling me things because if she says stuff about people people have done sometimes I'm like, less forgiving than cheese. Yeah, yeah. So it's that whole thing of like, if I tell you you're not going to talk to them every issue get over it anyway. Yeah, they want to daily talk show everyone. It's an evening. It's an evening. Time for chill vibes. Yeah,

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probably the telephone lots and cry amongst the candle lot after this. You feel free to send us an email. If anyone has ever cried listening to the daily talk show. Send us an email high the daily talk show.com. We'll send you some stickers

33:47
recently. Oh, one of our upcoming guests that we require. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, that was great. You have to wait to hear you have to wait to hear some secrets. Yeah. How's it going everyone. Bye.