Tommy's wife Amy

Tommy: Wait a minute! Crossface!

Josh: The Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Janson and Amy Jackett. Episode 116 of The Daily Talk Show. This is Amy Jackett in the studio.

Amy: Hello.

Tommy: Yeah, it's a, it's a rogue Interview ep.

Josh: Yeah, I guess it's rogue now that we're doing every Friday.

Tommy: Yeah, well, we've set that up. We don't worry, we do have an episode coming on Friday that is an interview with Sam Mack. But, um, have you finished eating your Smarties, Amy? I'm really—

Amy: I didn't know you were going to start so quickly.

Josh: That's how we roll. Um, so how—

Tommy: and we're finished. Uh, we're going to finish so quickly, did you?

Josh: Amy is, uh, if you're— if you haven't been a long time listener, just Tommy's wife from Sydney originally.

Amy: Correct, correct.

Josh: Tell us about yourself.

Tommy: What star sign are you, Amos?

Amy: You know this one 'cause you always make fun of it.

Tommy: What is it? Sagittarius.

Josh: There we go.

Tommy: Sagittarius.

Josh: Okay, interesting.

Tommy: Anyway, I don't know what that means. I'm just hanging out currently. And Josh, you've done this plenty of times when we're at my house. Get on the Josh Show and start yelling. 'Cause Bodhi's asleep, our son.

Josh: Baby's asleep.

Tommy: Currently sleeping.

Josh: I was actually really good when I came in. I was ready to be really noisy and I didn't.

Tommy: As Derek would say, you've got the sexy voice on because you have the headphones.

Josh: But I'm just trying to be a bit quiet, that's all.

Tommy: Fair. Yeah, don't say anything special.

Josh: Yeah, I'm feeling a bit dehydrated, but I just spent, a minute at the tap drinking it like I was a cat.

Tommy: Is it actually like spending a minute at the tap with your head down under the tap?

Josh: Mm-hmm.

Tommy: You may as well just drink water from a cup.

Josh: Yeah, I guess so.

Tommy: Now he's lying down.

Josh: It's been a long couple of days.

Tommy: You're a camel that's just hit the ground.

Josh: I'm still listening and we're chatting. It's really good.

Tommy: Oh, you can hear us really well.

Josh: Yeah, so good. So, um, you were telling me about Amy. And her fucking shopping is driving you insane.

Amy: I mean, you're really just setting me up here.

Tommy: Well, you've been doing some— we've, we had a bit of a tiff, and we did— the tiff was trying to save money, and Mum gives us $100 for Amy to buy a nice new coat. How fucking lovely is that?

Josh: It's really nice.

Tommy: And then Amy says, oh, I got two. I'm thinking $50 each, perfect. No, uses that bullshit fucking Afterpay, or it's the best, or they send you, they send out. So you got two things being delivered, correct? What was your thinking behind what you're doing?

Amy: I'm gonna choose from one of them, choose from out of both of them, and send one back.

Tommy: I think, okay, but you have to pay full price for them to get to you.

Amy: You don't because you're using Afterpay, so you only pay a quarter.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: So you've used someone else's money pretty much and committed to a payment structure, which is the Afterpay. But here's the thing, Amy's been wearing one of the coats for the last 3 or 4 days.

Amy: Testing. The other one hasn't arrived yet.

Tommy: How ridiculous is this? And so I mentioned to you earlier that this was something I wanted to chat to you about, and you just reeled off a bunch of other people that had done something even more outrageous.

Amy: So I felt really guilty about doing this the first time. And I needed a dress for a wedding, which we didn't end up going to because it was in Bali. We ended up canceling, not a sore spot. And we— and so I was choosing between these dresses online and I couldn't decide because I hadn't seen them on myself. And the girls were like, it's the Iconic, 60-day returns or whatever they are, 30-day returns. Just get them, try them on. And then you can send whatever you don't want back. And I felt so bad, I'm like, do you do this? And one of the girls was like, oh yeah, I've worn a dress to a wedding, kept the tags on and then sent it back.

Josh: Wow, Bree is notorious for sending stuff back. She got unstuck yesterday though, 'cause she bought me an ANS Colour t-shirt, ANS Colour shorts. But I fucked up my sizing and said I was a 36 when I'm a 34.. And I already said I've got the exact same shorts anyway, so I don't really need them. And Bree went to just get a refund. They don't do refunds. Yeah. And so not ideal.

Tommy: You know, I don't get e-com like you, Josh, and get online buying shit. Like, that is— how many people— so you've committed. So if you fucked up and all of a sudden you had to go to hospital 60 days, touch wood that you don't, but if you didn't, you would have to pay full price for all of those dresses, the 6 ones that you'd also have, like late phone bills and a lot of other things that probably gone for 60 days.

Amy: And I'd be in hospital.

Tommy: I think that would have been the least of my worries because I think these companies are hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping that you step outside of their T's and C's.

Josh: Well, you can only be— I feel like you can only play this game if you're very organized.

Amy: Well, from The Iconic, when I was choosing the dress for the wedding, I ordered 7 and sent back 3.

Josh: So you've kept 4.

Amy: And I intended to just keep 1.

Tommy: See, that's fucked. Like, I see the Afterpay amounts going out.

Josh: You know, they're not current and fair.

Tommy: They're so minute and it's so bad. But this is, they've got you. The Iconic won.

Amy: They did.

Josh: I, uh, Bri bought maybe about $700 worth of stuff from General Pants to try it all on. She did it, it was an e-com job, but then returned it in store and the person cracked it because it affects their budget. So, if you return it, it goes minus onto theirs. So, he was trying to convince her not to return it all, made her uncomfortable. Not ideal.

Tommy: Do you see the silliness in this when we talk about it? Is this— do you feel the fear of this? Like the fear of spending the money and it sort of encouraging you to do this kind of shit and how it can trap you into a— put you into a corner?

Amy: You know me, I have a lot of feelings and I can share with you some of them currently. So I feel like if a company is setting up to have free returns, they know the consequences and they know that people are gonna take it where I've taken it and then far beyond that. So people are really gonna take advantage of the system. If humans are good at anything, it's finding a loophole and taking advantage of the system, correct? Yeah. And yes, I am afraid that I will go too far. But the thing was, I was not going on any, I wasn't buying anything. I decided, all right, that's it, no buying anything. And I feel that I'm pretty good when I've set my mind to something at not doing it. And then the beautiful Joanne Jacket said, oh, lovely, we want you to be warm. Here's $100 towards a jacket. I'm the most indecisive person on the planet. I couldn't decide. I found two jackets that had features that if put together would have made the perfect jacket.

Josh: Is it sort of like a North Face Kathmandu style thing? Is it more sort of like a Paddington Bear?

Tommy: You could have got it if you just went to one of those stores and got it for the the price that you wanted.

Amy: Probably. One has a hood, one has a pocket to put your phone, one's made of down, the other one's polyester.

Tommy: There's less emotion buying online, do you think? Because you're an e-com guy.

Josh: No, I think there is probably, uh, it's very impulsive, so in some regards there's more emotion attached to it. But Bree goes through and she'll add everything to the basket and she'll slowly delete everything until there's nothing left.

Tommy: Fuck you guys, I'm dangerous.

Josh: But I don't necessarily buy that much online. Yeah, like clothes and stuff, I tend to do it in bulk, though. Like, I'll get it from somewhere overseas and I'll want to hit some sort of threshold, like a $300 minimum or something like that. That's where they get me. But what's— Where do you splurge, Amy? Where is it? Where do you spend your money, do you think?

Amy: I was thinking about this today. It is clothes.

Josh: Yes, I think that's okay.

Tommy: Is it?

Josh: Yeah, I think it's fine. Thanks, Josh.

Tommy: When you got no money to spend on clothes, then the Afterpay.

Amy: I also splurge on Bodhi's clothes probably more than me, definitely.

Josh: How do you think having kids changed your finances, guys?

Amy: Like we don't have any?

Josh: As in like, what about like the view on finance? Like how, what did you used to spend money on that you just don't have time for anymore?

Tommy: Clothes, but still you find a way to do it. Afterpay, thanks assholes.

Amy: We'd probably eat out more and go on more like weekends away, but that's not just money, I guess that's also time and babysitting.

Tommy: So here's the thing, I've been thinking about the things you can do with your children that seem fun, but then you realise they cost a fuckload. Puffing Billy, it's like this old train in Melbourne up in the hills. Dude, it's $55 per adult.

Josh: Really? $110 just to—

Tommy: Yeah, plus your kid.

Josh: Wow.

Tommy: Outrageous. That is so fucking expensive. Who the fuck has $110? Yeah, we'll just go on a little train.

Josh: Have you had any thoughts on what sort of like holidays and stuff you want to have as a family?

Tommy: Yeah, ones where grandma looks after Bodhi and we go to Mykonos to drink the cocktails. But what— you took Bodhi out the other day. To, it seems like the most ridiculous but looks like the coolest place ever, which is, it's basically just a place set up for taking Instagram photos.

Amy: Yeah, it's like a playground for Insta adults.

Josh: Like science works without any of the science.

Tommy: Fuck all science. What was it called?

Josh: Fuck all science works is, we should start Fuck All Science Works. It's quite good.

Tommy: What's it called?

Amy: It's called Sugar Republic.

Josh: Yeah, so is this something created by Adidas or did I just make that up?

Amy: Added us factory, the old one, but not connected. I don't think so.

Tommy: All right, describe it. So what, what, what did you walk in? What's going on?

Amy: There's a lot of pastels, a lot of bright colors, a lot of neon lights. There's like a giant gumball machine that you can go into, get photos, lots of cool feature walls that you can stand in front of and get photos, lollies everywhere, an ice cream machine, a button that says press for confetti and then it just shoots out.

Josh: It's amazing. I was actually saying to Tommy, his old work experience kid, I said, ah, she works, she's working there. He said, nah man, she's working in a lolly shop. And I checked and she was just working at a lolly shop. It has lolly shop vibes, right?

Tommy: It's got that sugar public. Bright colours and kind of looks like a Willy Wonka's factory. Here's the thing, $38 to get in.

Amy: Per person.

Tommy: Per person. Fuck off, that is so ridiculous. And you had some friends down from Sydney.

Amy: Yeah, one of who wants to become Instagram famous, so he was loving it.

Josh: Wait, so what do you— what did you actually get for your $38? What's— you just get the experience?

Amy: You get content?

Josh: Yeah. Do you get any like actual photos? Like, do they take—

Amy: they don't take any. No, you take the photos. There's a few things, so I think There are some things that you can eat along the way. And I thought that we were going to come out with like a basket full of lollies, but I think we had this little, you know, those sherbet bombs?

Josh: Yeah.

Amy: We had a sherbet bomb.

Josh: Not good for your teeth, but—

Amy: No, horrendous. There's a photo where we're all smiling with our mouths shut and we realise it's because we've all got it stuck in our teeth.

Josh: Yeah, they're shocking. Yeah, they get into your molars, isn't it? Like the back ones, you can really feel it.

Amy: Just sitting in there waiting for the dentist.

Tommy: I think it's actually— so someone pointed out a photo that Josh and I were in the other day where I wasn't smiling. I was smiling, but my teeth weren't showing.

Josh: It was a photo with Peter Sheppard.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. And someone said, mate, look, you fucking unhappy or something? And it was because I didn't— I had something in my teeth and I didn't want to smile and show it, and so I just did this. But someone pointed it out. So if you consistently smile, you may as well smile if you've got something in your teeth.

Josh: Amy, this is the first time other than the time we got you singing on the show, which was fun. This is the first time we've had you on properly.

Amy: Yeah, my real debut.

Josh: Yeah, this is the follow-up album.

Tommy: What's the halfway vibes?

Amy: I feel confident.

Josh: Great.

Tommy: You felt the cats early on?

Amy: I did.

Tommy: I could get the vibe.

Amy: A bit better.

Josh: Oh, great. What is Tommy like as a husband?

Amy: He's Probably quite similar to how he is as a friend, but just with other stuff thrown in.

Josh: Like what? Josh is getting a bit jealous here. No, it's fine. That's alright.

Amy: What do you get that I don't get? No, he's really great. I think he—

Tommy: Start with the negative and then go to a positive.

Amy: Okay. That will be easy. Joking. I think he— What's great about Tommy is that where his strengths lie are where all of my weaknesses are and vice versa. So we're able to broaden our understanding of the world by seeing things from each other's perspective. And I guess we learn a lot from each other. So I guess I feel that I've grown a lot from being with him, from learning from him because I came, my default is to not bother anybody. Like my worst fear is to be a burden. And Tommy's like, nah, if you need something, just like go out there. And I'm like, but you're putting so many people out. He's like, nah, it's like either it's their job or this is meant to happen or I really want this. And I think—

Tommy: You wouldn't chuck us a can of Coke, would you?

Amy: And I think I would put myself out to crazy degrees to avoid putting someone else out. Where he's like, if it's gonna be a lot of effort for me and only a little bit for you, then I'm gonna put you out, that's okay. And I think he is not very sensitive, which I'm sure that you've noticed. Whereas I can be oversensitive. And I think that together we've probably helped each other tone down a bit from our extremes.

Josh: Am I like Amy?

Tommy: Um, in what respect, mate?

Josh: Well, I just feel like the sensitive bit— I feel like what I— in some regards, that it's similar in the sense of—

Tommy: stop comparing yourself to my wife.

Josh: Our partnership and your partner, very similar, basically the same thing. No, but I definitely feel like you are the cowboy and I am, and I am less so like that.

Amy: I'm like, let's not From listening to the podcast in my lunch break, which I do.

Josh: Thanks.

Tommy: Just today, first time, just catching up before she's on the show officially.

Amy: But sometimes I do like hear the dynamic and some of the things or ways that you're talking to Tommy and almost, and I guess I'm assuming a lot, but sometimes I feel like I know your thoughts and I go, oh yeah, I used to feel like that. But then from knowing Tommy, I think that I have changed a lot of my defaults, if that makes sense.

Tommy: It's hard seeing you, for me, for someone who doesn't care about putting other people out, and to some degree I do, but I think if it's like something that you're wanting or you're wanting to get a message across, I feel like just talk up.

Josh: You have no problem of asking for something. Yeah, but you ask someone, hey, can I have, can I have some of your art shows or something like that? And they'll say, I keep going on about that, don't I? It was a case today, actually. And someone was like, nah. And you're like, okay.

Amy: That's the thing, he's prepared for answers either way. He doesn't mind. Whereas like, if I said, could I have some of your nachos? And if they said no, I'd be like, oh, like I've offended them or I've put them out and I would feel really awkward about it. Tommy doesn't.

Josh: It would give me a sick feeling. No joke. If that happened, I get that sort of sad feeling where I'm like, ah, It's hard to describe.

Tommy: And so what I find is with my partner, with you, Amy, who I love, when you aren't vocalising or I see an opportunity where you haven't done it and I see it kind of like, oh yeah, I won't speak up now, that fucking affects me so bad.

Amy: It does, because this actually caused some of our early on disagreements, which I will go into. So if we'd be at a cafe and I'd say, oh, can I have pancakes, but instead of cream, can I have ice cream? And they'll go, yeah, no problem. And then they'll give me the pancakes and they would give me—

Tommy: Fucking bullshit, isn't it?

Amy: They'll give me the ice cream instead of the cream. I'll go, oh well, that's okay. And Tommy will be like—

Josh: I thought you said you wanted the ice cream.

Amy: Whatever I wanted, they didn't give it to me.

Tommy: They gave you the opposite.

Josh: They gave you the cream, you wanted ice cream. There we go.

Tommy: She asked for cream, they gave her ice cream.

Amy: And so Tommy would go, "Ask for it." And I'll go, "No, they're really busy. They're run off their feet today." And he would go, "No." And it would really stress him out because he wants me to get what I want. But what I had to, I guess, communicate was what I want more than getting the food that I ordered is like for everyone to be just chill and have a nice conversation and nice time here. If I didn't eat whatever it was that I told them to give me or whatever, if they gave me something that I hated, I would ask for it, but it didn't really, it wouldn't really bother me if it was just something that I would have preferred another thing.

Josh: Yeah, I feel like I can relate to that. Like not wanting to, yeah, feeling like it's just not worth the hassle in the end.

Tommy: I think the learning for me is even though you've sort of probably adapted a bit of that thinking yourself, There's also the realisation that some things don't faze you as much as I think they would because they faze me so much.

Amy: Correct.

Tommy: And so sometimes you don't give a fuck, which is, it's almost like I need to take on a bit of that. It's like, and I'm not, this is not every occasion, but I think it, 'cause James, the person who I asked for the nachos, what was actually the quesadilla, he's very much like this. We both have had moments. I think we're similar in that way. We'll just ask, or if they fuck something up, we'll get them to change it. And it's like, I watched him recently, like he was going to talk up and he's like, no, I'll leave this one. So it's like, I remember he did that at Nando's once.

Josh: He got the rice.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. But you could see it was affecting him.

Josh: Yeah.

Amy: But he went against it, which I guess is probably a good skill, but I still think if you're paying for something Oh, but I wouldn't pay for it if what I asked for paid, like cost more and they didn't give it to me, I wouldn't pay for it. I'd ask them to take it off.

Josh: Yeah.

Amy: Like I'd speak up about that.

Josh: I hate people changing things on like what's on the menu. So removing items, I don't like that at all.

Tommy: What about like going against things like a cafe that says we don't split bills, get fucked.

Josh: Well, yeah, like I've had, I think you've been probably there, TJ, when I've gotten annoyed at that. When they say, oh, we do, we can't split bills bills. I said, okay, we're just going to pay 50% on this card and 50% on that card. And then sometimes they'll say that's splitting the bill.

Amy: Tommy's gone, go fuck yourself. When Tommy's said, you know, they've been like a $10 minimum on card. And he said, well, my coffee was $4.50. I've got a card. What do you want me to do? I don't have any cash. And they've gone, there's an ATM over there. No, it's credit. That's all I have. Even though he could easily go over there and take it about it, but he's right about it. They take it in the end, don't they?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Well, they fucking have to. Like, what's the choice?

Amy: See, to me though, I think this is just unnecessary friction. If you can do what they've asked you to do, just do it.

Josh: That's— Yeah. I feel like I have those moments where I'm just like, I stand strong. It's just like, it just feels like an injustice in a very low sort of first world problem kind of way.

Amy: The people's advocate.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. People's advocate, exactly.

Tommy: I still, that's just not clear, but I think, yeah, that's a say. But okay, that's my flaw. Is that my flaw or was that?

Amy: You've got lots of flaws, Dale. I'm the wife, I'm the one who knows these things, right?

Josh: What was the biggest thing you noticed when you started living together?

Tommy: How long have you lived with Bri?

Josh: 10 years.

Tommy: Okay, so there's quite a while.

Josh: Yeah.

Amy: Wow.

Tommy: It's a bit of an adjustment, isn't it? Moving in with a partner?

Josh: Well, I mean, it's different. When Bri and I started, it was a different dynamic because we were living at my parents' place.

Tommy: Oh, she moved into your parents' place?

Josh: So it was probably even more than 10— yeah, no, it would have been 10 years ago. Yeah, when we were in— when we were still in school, so it was like 11 years ago. Yeah, in school, moved in, and so for the first like 2 or 3 years it was at my parents' place, and then there was the adjustment in having to do, like, I was sort of a bit babied in some regards. Like, Mum would do a lot of the washing and shit like that, and then it was, yeah, it's called living at home. Yeah, isn't it?

Amy: You would drop laundry off to your mum even when you weren't at home?

Tommy: Not always. I'd go around. I'd fucking give you a break.

Josh: Sometimes I'd wear things twice. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, no, I don't think I'd ever do that because I remember, uh, yeah, I had an uncle who would do that with my nana where he was sort of, he was known as the single one, but he was in his 40s and he would still be dropping off. And it was sort of like, you know, it was sort of that thing like you could be successful or you could be like your uncle. It's sort of not a good look, is it? So what were some of the things that you picked up on that Tommy did?

Amy: Well, when we first moved in together, so before we started dating, I'd been single for about 6 years. Tommy had been single for about 4 or 5 years. And so we'd really kind of done like a lot of our adult life as single people. And I think set in our ways probably a little bit in terms of how we lived. And then we were long distance, so we didn't have to share a place together. We weren't staying over at each other's houses for like extended periods. So it just went from long distance to living together. And so it was pretty full on. I think going back, I can't really remember what I found. I know that I found it really hard.

Tommy: I think— Are you telling me now?

Amy: You know, I found it hard. I cried a lot.

Josh: What would you cry about?

Amy: I'd cry about—

Tommy: I actually can't remember the crying just to tell you the truth.

Amy: No, I'm not surprised. You block it out, but that's okay.

Josh: Yeah, what would you cry about, Ann?

Tommy: Was it dropping my washing off at Mum's?

Josh: Yeah, exactly. Sorry about all the tears on the— Close. Yeah, go.

Amy: I'm an emotional person though, just to preface.

Josh: So how do you know? Like, yeah, I would answer the cry bit, but then I couldn't remember.

Tommy: I can't remember any of that. All I remember is there is, it's just hard for 3 months and then it got much, much easier.

Amy: Yeah, it got easier really quickly. I'm just transitioning.

Tommy: It's like going away with somebody.

Josh: Were you the type that would go on school camp and cry? Were you the cry there? No. So it's definitely Tommy. So what's the, what would the crying be? Would it be just like, I just—

Amy: I would cry in a Kleenex ad. Like for how it is?

Tommy: She cried recently listening to a Kanye West song.

Amy: It was beautiful.

Josh: Okay, sure. So what sort of sets you off? What's normally sort of the— is it thinking about— what are the topics that make you cry?

Amy: So you're wanting to therapy us right now?

Josh: Yeah.

Amy: The things that I find frustrating about Tommy?

Josh: No, not about Tommy, just specifically. In general. Yeah, I'm just curious about like what makes you tick.

Amy: If I, probably if I feel really misrepresented, like my intentions have been really misunderstood and it's hurt somebody or they see me as somebody who would attack them or something like that. I would, that's something that I'd get upset about.

Josh: Like in a work context or something?

Amy: Yeah, or personally.

Tommy: I reckon the crying's gone down a bit recently.

Amy: Yeah, it has. I reckon.

Tommy: Real tough ass. After—

Amy: maybe after having Bodhi, the crying's kind of gone down a bit, but then I'll cry at random stuff like in a Kanye song.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, true.

Amy: But I've always been like that.

Tommy: But you used to do the weirdest thing when I first met you. That was watching sad videos before bed, and you'd cry and then go to sleep.

Josh: It made me feel— some people watch fail videos, you just watch Sad.

Tommy: Yeah, sad storey videos.

Amy: I think I used to really want to keep my heart open, and I thought that I had to take on a lot of pain from the world to do it.

Josh: Yeah, that sounds like a terrible idea. No, it sounds like a terrible, terrible— I remember the worst decision of my life was buying My Sister's Keeper on Blu-ray. It was fucked. Bri and I actually watched it once and we're like, this is— when are we ever gonna watch this again? It was so sad. People died in it for memory. It was, it was really bad.

Tommy: But is there anything you want to clarify so people just don't walk away with thinking that you watch sad movies and cried? Was there other than that?

Josh: It's okay to cry.

Tommy: No, no, no. When was the last time you cried? There's nothing wrong with crying at all.

Josh: It was the last time I cried.

Tommy: Yeah, I reckon I've cried more since meeting Amy, since being with Amy, than I have in my adult life.

Josh: Actually, 100%. I know, definitely. I think I've mentioned it already. I can't read out, like, for one, if I say something nice about someone, my ears ring, which is annoying. It happened again today when we had the guest on. I think it's a psychological, like, I've now created it as a thing as soon as I say something nice. But if I read anything, like, I was reading a caption, I think, that I did for Bree, and she said, oh, would you— like I said, I wrote you a birthday thing. So what'd you write? I started reading out, I was like, "Mm, mm, mm, you can read it." So that's, I don't know why.

Amy: Tearing up?

Tommy: Yeah.

Amy: When was that?

Josh: Oh, that would have been May. So not that long ago, a month ago, month and a half ago.

Amy: The last time you cried, we both cried together.

Tommy: Yeah, what was that about?

Amy: We were in the car and I was talking about how proud I was of you.

Tommy: Yeah.

Amy: And we both cried together.

Tommy: Yeah, we did.

Amy: That was nice.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Cute.

Tommy: Blame it, I was tired.

Amy: Josh is giving us this really patronising look.

Tommy: No, it's really cute.

Josh: What was it? How many days ago was it?

Tommy: Last week?

Josh: Yeah, great.

Tommy: Maybe?

Amy: Yeah, last weekend.

Josh: Was it about the podcast? Did I get a mention? For a fuck?

Amy: It kind of was.

Josh: Oh, great.

Tommy: Oh yeah, it was.

Josh: Maybe can we have a cry together?

Amy: Yeah, we'll explore it.

Josh: Okay, we can try. You say something.

Amy: Oh, on air?

Josh: Yeah. I'm opening my heart.

Amy: Well, we were talking, he was talking about how—

Tommy: Josh, that's your pants.

Josh: That's his zip.

Tommy: That's where my heart is.

Josh: That's where the heartbeat is anyway. Sorry, go on.

Amy: You'd brought a topic to the table and said, I think that we should talk about this, and Tommy said no. And then he was saying, I see now that I should like change the way that I approach things so that if somebody wants to talk about something, or like rather than my first response being no, I should say, "Okay, tell me why," or "What's your angle? Where are you coming from?" Because I don't think I can bring anything to it, but they probably can, so I should listen to them. And sometimes I feel like— sometimes in the past I felt not listened to. And so when he said this, I just cried because I thought, "I'm so proud of you." He's becoming a really great man. And not just that, I think a lot of people can be really stuck in their ways and like, "This is just who I am, this is what I do." But I like that Tommy will choose to be flexible and choose to grow and grow in his awareness. And a lot of the things that I feel— it can be frustrating when you're with somebody who's so different to you when you focus on yourself and not them, if that makes sense. Because you're always gonna— if you're focusing on yourself, then you're gonna see all of the things that that person doesn't have. Like, "Oh, I wish that they could be more this like me or more this like me.". And I really appreciate like the strengths in Tommy, but I also appreciate that he's really working on his strengths and his weaknesses.

Josh: Well, it's like I heard on a radio podcast, they're talking about the best people on air can take the feedback from an air cheque and put it straight into the next break they do or the next show. And I think that's the equivalent of almost like life. It's being Tommy being able to take feedback in and then actually seeing a change, which I think is the, like, that's a really strong, that's a massive strength to be able to do that. I think that's important.

Amy: And I think that a lot of Tommy's strengths he downplays in a lot of ways. And he's like, there's so much more to him than what you first see, because when I first saw him, I feel like I probably would have had a similar view to you. This is me just like I said, assuming. But when I first met him, he came up to me at the Potato Head in Bali, and I was like, ugh, this like good-looking radio douche. Like, I really can't be bothered to impress him, and I'm sure that he's looking for someone to impress him, and it's not me, and get away. And the more that I just spent time with him, I'm like, oh no, like, he's really lovely. And I thought that he was really arrogant when I first met him. And then I would notice things over time.

Tommy: Projecting. Yeah, massive projecting.

Amy: I would notice things over time, like People would be talking, some random people that we would just met would be talking about people that Tommy knows personally. And I'll go, "All right, here we go, the name drop." And he wouldn't, and he would just chat or he would have storeys that really related to what they were saying that would make him look really good, but he wouldn't say them. And I remember questioning on them after and he's like, "Oh, I didn't need to." Either like they were having a really good conversation or I didn't feel like it would actually bring anything or they don't need to know that.

Tommy: I'm talking about you, Josh. I just want to mention it.

Josh: I get it, I get it.

Amy: Always about Josh.

Josh: I think, no, I think it's, but I also think the other thing too is it's like we wear different masks. And I think that, yeah, I think that it's that whole thing of being like switching between, some only see one mask of Tommy.

Amy: Yeah.

Josh: And then as you go through and you realise that they're interchangeable, then it means that you can have bigger discussions and you can say, actually, like, you don't need to put on this mask now. Just chill. And also, like, stress and all these things can default you to certain masks and certain sort of attitudes as well.

Amy: And I think, like, I've never met anybody who— like, Tommy barely has— like, there's not really anyone that Tommy doesn't like, and he doesn't really hold any grudges. Even people who have treated him so badly If they call him, he'll be like, hey mate, how's it going? And not in a doormat way. I think that he's good at putting boundaries in, but he's really forgiving and lovely. The only person that I know that he really doesn't like is one of my friends who I think it was just because he saw she treated me pretty badly at one point. I think he saw how much pain I was in.

Tommy: Oh yeah, that's all right.

Amy: Where like it's water under a bridge for me now, but for Tommy, he's a bit more He'll hold on a bit.

Josh: Yeah, that's why Braid struggles sometimes telling me things, because if she says stuff about people, what people have done, sometimes I'm like less forgiving than she is.

Amy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: So it's that whole thing of like, if I tell you, are you not going to talk to them ever again? But if she'll get over it anyway.

Tommy: Yeah, it's an interesting one.

Josh: It's a daily talk show, everyone. It's an evening, it's an evening tone. Very chill vibes.

Amy: Candles are lit.

Tommy: Yeah, we're probably gonna turn off the lights and, um, cry amongst the candlelight after this.

Josh: Feel free to, uh, send us an email if anyone has ever cried listening to The Daily Talk Show. Send us an email, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. We'll send you some stickers.

Tommy: We had someone cry recently. Oh, one of our upcoming guests that we recorded.

Josh: Oh yeah, perfect. Yeah, that was great.

Tommy: You have to wait to hear.

Josh: You have to wait to hear it.

Tommy: Send them some stickers.

Josh: Yeah, have a good one everyone. Bye.