Tommy's car crash

Tommy: Wait a minute! Crossface! The Daily Talk Show, a conversation sometimes worth recording with Josh Janson and Tommy Jackett.

Josh: 108 of The Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: God, I have to get through this. How is my voice?

Josh: Yeah, it's not Not ideal. It literally dropped out like 10 minutes ago, an hour into our argument before we came on. We've— it's, it's good. The, the best thing about this podcast, uh, I'm Josh by the way, he's Tommy, and it's the Daily Talk Show as they said in the intro. Uh, the podcast has been stretching us in regards to conversations and you and I having arguments around different topics.

Tommy: Yeah, which is what we're doing before off this. We're which we won't get into on here, but I think it's a combination for a good relationship where you challenge each other.

Josh: I said that Tommy was privileged and you got so—

Tommy: You can't summarise it like that. That's the whole problem with what you do is you just summarised our debate in one part of it, which was the furthest thing from just talking about privilege.

Josh: And the problem with Tommy is it wasn't even meant to be a debate, but somehow he turned it into a debate.

Tommy: It's fun. Wings from both halves.

Josh: No, it's, um, I enjoy it.

Tommy: Have you ever got in an argument with a stranger?

Josh: Uh, other than, uh, Michael from Bunnings Hawthorn, who we've spoken about, um, shout out. Yeah, if he's listening.

Tommy: Um, other than that, oh no, I think, I mean, it's something you avoid at all costs.

Josh: Yeah, I had a, I had a case a few days ago where I was indicating going into the right-hand lane on the freeway.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: In Australia, you know, we drive on the left-hand side and it's the opposite to the US. So, if you— The right lane is the fast lane, the left lane is the slower lane. And I got into the right-hand lane to overtake someone and a car I saw sped up who was in the right-hand lane and then was flashing their lights a bunch, like freaking out as if I'd just like cut them off, which I hadn't.

Tommy: Oh, they had to call you a fuckwit.

Josh: Yeah. And so, I just— did that little tap of my brakes and scared the shit out of them and they just like backed right off.

Tommy: Mate, it does, it scares you. I mean, so what, they fully backed off like?

Josh: Yeah, they fully backed off, which it was good. It was like, I don't obviously want to cause a car accident, but it just seemed like they were blinding me with their—

Tommy: I tell you, with driving, having a kid, there's a lot of things that I would have done that you don't do now? Yeah, I definitely have thought twice, but then still— have I told you about the time I was on a phone call in the car over hands-free?

Josh: No.

Tommy: And all of a sudden I've just— are you c— dropped the C-bomb. Yeah. And I was on like a business call. I— it totally just came over me.

Josh: What bit? What?

Tommy: When?

Josh: How long ago was this?

Tommy: I was like 4 weeks ago, I reckon.

Josh: 4 weeks ago. But I was like, who was the business guy? Who was it with?

Tommy: It was with Lisa, who's been on the podcast. We do business together, we are friends, but it was a very inappropriate and really weird time for me to just drop the C-bomb.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And I felt really embarrassed. I reckon I went a bit red because I was like, oh, and I thought, what did I say? I was like, uh, yeah, I bet you weren't expecting that. That was to someone else. And then I overdramatized what happened. Oh, this guy really nearly hit me.

Josh: When really he just went a little bit slow on the right-hand lane. Maybe it was me.

Tommy: Um, you know James?

Josh: Yeah, uh, your mate from The Office? Where he's also my mate now.

Tommy: He's your mate, he's my best mate, he's my elder, one of my oldest friends. Yeah, you know you nearly hit him?

Josh: I did.

Tommy: Do you not even know this? No, he said it to me maybe 5 times. Josh nearly took me out in his car. So he said you were almost halfway across the intersection looking to see if you could go because cars were probably in the way.

Josh: Where?

Tommy: Just around the back here. You got to speak to him about it. You gotta apologise on the podcast because he's probably listening.

Josh: Nearly hit his Mercedes. Yeah, well, I don't know what happened. I feel like I'm a fairly good driver, but yeah, sometimes slightly just— I think maybe a little bit distracted, but also just willing to not get hit. That's the wrong word. But definitely I can be aggressive in the sense of like, mate, you wear the stopper, you hit me. Which is, I guess, until I have a real— unless until I'm in a neck brace, I probably won't change.

Tommy: Yeah, I get rid of that. What are you gonna do? You hit me?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You're gonna drive ahead, T-bone me?

Josh: Especially the nicer cars, you know, rocking in. When you've got the shitter car, it feels like it's a— like I had one guy, I think I talked about this on Johnston Street. When I turn right onto Johnston Street from my old place, it was always really, um, back shit out of traffic.

Tommy: Oh, it's horrible.

Josh: And so you would just have to— you'd really just have to jump out. Like, you'd drive and there'd be cars coming, and some of them would lose their mind, others would understand what was going on.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: And so I just smile and wave. I was doing it to like— there was like 3 cars all yelling at me at once, which sort of says that the whole thing— it's like, if one— yeah, if you think one person's a dickhead, they're the dickhead. If like 2— I think I was probably the dickhead.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. You know, I was in a pretty bad car accident when I was 17.

Josh: What'd you do?

Tommy: Have you seen the scar here on the side of my head? Can you see? It's like my hairline.

Josh: Oh, okay. It's nice and covered, not like my Instagram van.

Tommy: Well, if I shave my— if I get a number 2 on the side, you can see a full-on— I got 5 staples. And when I say staples, it's literally a staple gun.

Josh: Really? What'd you do?

Tommy: I was 17.

Josh: You're being a dickhead in the car.

Tommy: I was with a dude who, you know, like you see on movies, there's a mum that doesn't want you to hang out with that kid.

Josh: Yeah, so you were that kid, weren't you?

Tommy: No, I was hanging out with that kid.

Josh: Really? But you were that kid for a lot of other parents, so you must have been really worried.

Tommy: No, to be honest, I was all over the joint, but I, I don't think I had that because I still wasn't a full delinquent.

Josh: Yeah, like I had the TAC vibes getting in the car with the guy.

Tommy: Well, very friendly with people. I have all been all my life. So I kind of have had that vibe, like I was never really gone. But there was— anyway, the vibe of this person— I was in their car and they were a mischief— mischievous young teen, and they had a— they had like a— for all you car fans, a Nissan Skyline R32 GTR, and it was like race spec. It had a It had like a roll cage inside of it.

Josh: So you've been— you could flip it, you'd be okay.

Tommy: I would have been in a lot of trouble if that roll cage wasn't there. So James, my mate who I talked about that you nearly hit, we were both in the car. He was in the driver's— he was in the passenger seat. Yeah, I was in the back behind James, and the dude was driving. And we, we pulled up the— oh, we were coming towards lights and they started going— they went amber before they go red, and we jetted through at the last minute. The car couldn't even go fast because there was an issue with it, and it was just the worst timing. We went through this intersection, a busy intersection on Dandenong Road if you're from Melbourne, and there was— it's a 4-car highway. One of the car spots was vacant, meaning there was 3 that were already stationary at the red light waiting to go. Someone was coming, so they had momentum, and the light would have gone green and we were just passing through. They accelerated and spun the car, smashed into it, T-boned it, and the car spun 360. He didn't have his license. He'd stolen plates off another car, I think, or something, and put them onto this car.

Josh: Why did you have— what I understand, like, yeah, he didn't have his license. Why does he— why would he have stolen plates?

Tommy: Well, I think he just had plates that he put onto it that had nothing to do with the car. So it's more so if a cop sees a car with no plates, yeah, they're going to pull you over.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: If they see plates on it, they probably just— they might, but they probably won't.

Josh: Well, is it because you can't— can you not register a car unless you've got a licence or something? Or is it just a bit of a twat? Double twat. He didn't have his license, didn't have a registered car, and so it smashes. Who calls the ambos?

Tommy: Mate, I had to pull myself out using the roll cage because James's door was buckled in, so he couldn't open it. And so I, I sort of blacked out for a second, and then I came up and I felt like this warmth. I felt like someone had poured a bucket of hot water on my face.

Josh: Had you pissed yourself?

Tommy: Blood. Oh, it was pouring.

Josh: Had you pissed yourself as well?

Tommy: No, I didn't piss myself.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: I got out of the car and I left the scene.

Josh: You're a fucking idiot. I first went into the pub Do you at least call for your mates so they weren't— do we make each other alive?

Tommy: No, they were fine. One of them said go, the dude driving, because he's like, I'll, I'll be in lots of trouble, you go. Um, commendable on his behalf. So I went into the pub, looked in the mirror of the— in the bathroom, my head was gaping open. Pulled out some glass and then I took off my top. This is when it was cool to wear a long sleeve and then a t-shirt over the top of your long sleeve. Yeah, do you remember those days?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah, it's almost Skivvies-esque.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, during that exact same time, I was the, the collared shirt over the top, like, so it would sort of opened up sort of Nickelodeon costume style.

Tommy: And so I took off the long sleeve t-shirt, wrapped it around my head, and for some reason I was like, if I squeeze the cut closed by doing a knot, it will stop the bleeding. Yeah, I watched too many movies. And so then anyway, I went off and My brother came, picked me up, took me to the hospital.

Josh: Did you explain to your brother what happened?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was all over it. He's like, what the hell's happened to you? And so he came and we didn't tell mum and dad. This is whether— No, I didn't—

Josh: Because your mum would be listening to the show.

Tommy: She's probably listening.

Josh: Has she heard this story?

Tommy: I might have told— sorry, mum, sorry to scare the shit out of you.

Josh: We should be happy because she got the yoga reference. You did a whole bit on yoga. Oh yeah, yeah, brownie points.

Tommy: And so I went to the hospital. The only way Mum found out was—

Josh: So she did find out?

Tommy: She did find out because it got back through some other kid, and then some of the kid's mum called my mum.

Josh: So you were in high school?

Tommy: I was 17.

Josh: So you weren't in high school because you left?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, everyone was in high school but I wasn't.

Josh: And, um, you were so cool.

Tommy: And so, yeah, dude, it was—

Josh: Was there alcohol involved, do you think?

Tommy: No, he— the dude wasn't drinking. It's just a dumb decision to go through an amber light.

Josh: Did you ever do street drags?

Tommy: No, I didn't have a car.

Josh: I think my dad used to do street drags.

Tommy: We used to drive— there was a big street racing culture in Melbourne years and years ago. It just got too hard, like cops everywhere at a certain point. But on Prince's Highway, yeah, it was like huge car meetups. It was literally like out of Fast and the Furious.

Josh: Well, I remember the part of the reason why, because during that time, that would have been like, uh, '05 2006, probably '05, I was working on that show Rodda's Life, which was a car show, and the big issue was they'd reduced— there's the one of the only tracks in Victoria is Calder Park Freeway. Yeah, sorry, Calder Park.

Tommy: Calder Park, yeah, and on the Calder Freeway.

Josh: Yeah, Calder Park. And they'd, I think they'd slashed the sort of straight drag because you could— there was a time where you go with your car and you drag and all that sort of thing, but they'd been cutting that the government funding and all that sort of thing more and more and more, which then pushed all these idiots on the street, or people who just want to drag their car.

Tommy: Idiots.

Josh: But I was stupid.

Tommy: It's stupid.

Josh: But when I was a, um, when I was like 14, 15, I would get the media passes for the drag. So I was on the track. So I was, when they were doing the burnouts, I was there, the, like, one of the guys with the camera pan, like, with, you know, the cameras with the handles, like the PD-170s or the PD-150s for those who know the models.

Tommy: Did you have earplugs in?

Josh: Yeah, had earplugs in. Um, yeah, no, I had a— would have had, had a high-vis on. And yeah, I was filming, and so you'd just get these sick shots. And they would— and they weren't going fast when you were next to it because they were doing their burnouts.

Tommy: Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, we were fully into that stuff because we— I had some older friends who would take us out cruising. It's like I think about this, and Mom, if you're listening, it's like I empathise with how you would have felt now thinking about Bodie doing this kind of stuff.

Josh: It's, it's silly.

Tommy: It's hard. Well, we got away unscathed. Yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people have, but you just can't mess around with vehicles.

Josh: My dad was into drag racing, and, uh, there's an old—

Tommy: he had a hot rod.

Josh: Yeah, he had a hot rod, and he also had a Holden Statesman that he drag raced.

Tommy: Well, he had one of the first V8s, didn't he?

Josh: No, he had, he had a, uh, no, he had one of the first— we had one of the first gold-colored SS Commodores Holden. It was called Tiger, was the color. Beauty. And we thought we were the sickest units going around, like within my school we were pretty cool.

Tommy: You've seen, um, Upper Middle Bogan.

Josh: Yeah, Upper Upper Middle Class Boggans.

Tommy: Yeah, well, TV show Upper Middle Bogan.

Josh: Yeah, Glenn Robbins.

Tommy: And it's all about this drag racing family.

Josh: Mum and Dad love it. I'm sure it's just for them. It's just like watching life unfold.

Tommy: Well, the way you were describing it, it sounds like family out in the burbs, get a— spend a bit of money, get a hot rod.

Josh: Yeah. And it was the V8. I remember Dad would always play this tape of him drag racing and it would say, Richard Jansen, a master at the lights. That was like, he was a real, real boss.

Tommy: And so what, did he sell the V8?

Josh: Yes, I know. So yeah, he sold the hot rod, he sold, and that was what we, that's what paid for the pool. Like when we were kids, we had a house with a pool and that.

Tommy: Bloody oath.

Josh: And, but he's now working, he's got a few, he's got an El Camino, which is like an American sort of It's like a pickup, but it looks like a ute, like an Australian ute, which he finished recently. He's got an Impala. I think it's like a '68 Impala or something like that.

Tommy: He's got a few cars.

Josh: Yeah. And he's got this one that he's been working on for years and years and years. It's like a Willys. It's the brand is called like the model is called a Willys Aero-Wing.

Tommy: Willys.

Josh: And there's only like, I think there's 4 in Australia. It's an American car.

Tommy: Interesting.

Josh: And so, he— We were told, like my brother James, who we had on a previous episode, he was a, he's a few years older than I am, I guess what he's probably like 30, 30-something.

Tommy: You should know your brother's age.

Josh: I have no idea. I'm 27. He must be like 4 years older than me. But I remember at his deb, the whole thing was gonna be that dad was going to drive the Willys, you know, to the deb and that's how he's gonna get there. And then he never made that deadline. So then it was gonna be Jake, my other brother, then me, and now it's still in like a storage thing and he's slowly, slowly, slowly—

Tommy: It's interesting, you know, when we would, uh, the other day we were filming, um, a girl doing some beauty blogging stuff and I kind of threw in an extra question that was, what do you do for fun? And she struggled to answer it. And, and what I probably meant was like, what's your hobbies? And if you think about it, for me it's like I It's a hard question 'cause a lot of people would probably, ah, what I'm doing. Like I look at you and go, I know your life pretty back to front in terms of what you're doing. It's not like you have a hobby like your dad that's out there tinkering with cars. But I don't think it's like the thing that makes you happy.

Josh: I think I've got so many hobbies. Like I think that I've just made my life my hobby in the sense of compute all these things that I did as a kid. I've just translated directly into a job.

Tommy: Yeah. And do you think that's how you win? Do you think it's— for a lot of people, that's how you kind of—

Josh: I don't think there's winning and losing. I don't think that there's a formula. I think for a lot of people, it can be the worst thing ever. Turning your passion into a job can be a really bad decision.

Tommy: But, um, I get— it's kind of what I've done.

Josh: But it's like with this, for instance, it's like, yes, I do get— even though The video thing is, you know, my bread and butter, what pays the bills, all that sort of thing. But this podcast is obviously at the moment, you know, we're not planning on monetizing it in its sort of, in its form. So yeah, all of these things, but even stuff like my hobby, yeah, maybe it's like a little bit of search engine optimization and social media and tinkering with all of those sorts of things.

Tommy: Well, yeah, there's different hobbies. I guess it would be, if we like to go bushwalking. I think maybe some are like, from the outset, more impressive than others. You know, like me listening to your dad, it's like, oh, you can easily go, oh, I wish I had something that I'd— but then maybe it's like, we do. We spend hours doing this every week.

Josh: Yeah, dad goes to— I was— because now we're, uh, for the next week and a half, Bray and I are staying in Rowville. Rowville. Rowville.

Tommy: You've moved home. I asked you the address, you couldn't— you didn't have a clue.

Josh: It's, uh, I actually don't say it on the podcast. I literally couldn't remember. I could tell you like it's just off Wellington Road. And, um, but yeah, I was— Dad had to go off. He had a, um, a car meeting, like a car club meeting.

Tommy: Meetup?

Josh: Yeah, no, it wasn't a meetup, it was a meeting.

Tommy: About what?

Josh: I'm like, it's like, oh yeah, this is a committee meeting. And then Mum's like, oh, Richard, tell Josh what happened. And then apparently he had a falling out with the treasurer the other day.

Tommy: Oh no, what does that, what's a falling out look like?

Josh: Well, the falling out was that the treasurer was saying that you needed 50 signatures before they would look at changing a rule or whatever.

Tommy: Within the club?

Josh: Yeah, and Richie's like, mate, it's not in our bylaw, you can't do that. It's not a bylaw or some bullshit, I don't know. That's great. So they were getting really into it.

Tommy: One of the Jansons got you on a text. Technicality.

Josh: Yeah, the classic.

Tommy: But that is a classic.

Josh: Dad's finishing, finishing at his job soon. He's just gotten another job, which he's rapt about. But it's, I know where I get a little bit of my shit stirring from because I just, I called him, it was his birthday, 60th birthday yesterday. And I called him, I'm like, oh, how you going? He's like, oh, just living the dream. Just, uh, at work, only a few days left. I'm like, oh, can other people hear you? He's like, yep. So it was just the, uh, the classic shit stir.

Tommy: So how's it— I mean, you've only been there one night, is it?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: What's the vibe?

Josh: Uh, the vibe is, um, oh, the internet. So one of the things that's great about this over the— so we're house sitting at Bree's old boss's place, which was like this sick place in Richmond. Um, we—

Tommy: what's the star hotel? If you like, if you could give that a star and then your parents' house a star.

Josh: I think that like, uh, they both have pools.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: So, um, but I think that— and it's, uh, I— here's how I describe it. Uh, Lynn and Richard, uh, mum and dad, they're providing a sort of an Airbnb experience, which is their cooking dinner. Mum's lasagna has gotten a lot better. We were talking about that before, how parents seem to get better at cooking once you leave.

Tommy: Yeah, because they don't have to make it for you.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, we have to feed Josh.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's now they want to. Josh, come over for dinner.

Josh: Yeah. So, it was— And I don't really like lasagna that much. I think it was because I used to always joke about Mum's shit lasagna. And it was actually— there was a— I feel like Italian in general, actually, Mum did good. She'd get the pita bread. Yeah, we're pretty, uh, this is upper middle bogan or whatever. It's like, I just remember Mum discovering like, uh, pita bread as bases for pizza.

Tommy: Oh yeah.

Josh: And so that was just like what we'd have. And it was like, it was a real nice treat. Like, you'd really lucky would come home and Mum's like, oh, you wanted some pita pizzas, which you'll put, you know, put some, uh, some sauce on it or whatever, and then, uh, the, the big bits of ham where you'd sort of— yeah.

Tommy: Um, but anyway, the amount of rissoles and schnitzels I had as a kid. Yeah, it's easy. I get it.

Josh: Well, the thing was, I, I called Mum a while ago because Telstra had an ad which was like, as good as your mum's bolognese. Yeah, I called Mum and I was like, Mum, They clearly haven't tasted your palates. But I'd like to say that her cooking's been great.

Tommy: So, it's like an Airbnb, but you're actually in a bed and breakfast.

Josh: Yeah, it's a bed and breakfast. There's a few things that are different to a bed and breakfast. There's, you have two people who brought you up so that you get triggered by little things, which you don't normally get. Mum was getting annoyed at me because I was eating all the wagon wheels. It's like, well, she's like, I should have hidden them. It's like, oh, just don't buy them, you know. If you don't want to eat them, don't buy them.

Tommy: Well, you're an adult now. You slipped into your own ways.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: And so I haven't—

Josh: I feel like the thing is that I've just sort of reverted back to the old JJ, the 120-kilo JJ.

Tommy: There is a bit of that. I go home and I open the cupboard straight away.

Josh: Yeah, that was the first thing I did. I remember, you know, do you remember Quattro biscuits? Quattro biscuits, they were like, they had nuts, they were chocolate, they had nuts and caramel, all that sort of thing. How deceptive is this? As a kid, I pretended that I hated Quattros, and so when mum would ever ask if I wanted a Quattro, I'd say no because I knew if I said no, then I could take 3 later in the cupboard and they'd never know it was me because I didn't eat Quattros.

Tommy: That is great.

Josh: And so that's the sort of— and food was such a big, always a big part of my existence. I remember my brother Jake— I think I've told you this story— where, uh, Jake and James were both skinny and I was, I was always the fat one. And there was always this game of eating chocolate bars, you know, fun size. Mum would get, you know, the fun size.

Tommy: It was a game?

Josh: No, well, it's not— it's— it was a game in the sense that Uh, it would start off with we would put the chocolate wrappers in each other's bins, so then, so then no one would know that it was me eating them. But then it was next level. Once we got older, we started putting in our own bins and saying, the fucker keeps putting chocolate wrappers in my bin. So you'd sort of do the reverse thing. But I remember Jake having the last— I caught him at the freezer eating the last Magnum ice cream. And I said to him, I'm like, I'm telling mum. And he looked at me stone cold, didn't blink, and said, who do you think she's gonna believe? And he had me, he had me. So, but I, you know, I've got all these memories of mum making muffins. She'd make muffins and she'd make choc chip muffins. The problem was that I would always eat all the choc chips. I'd fight, like I'd be looking for chocolate around the house and the only thing that would be left would be cooking chocolate.

Tommy: So you'd eat that?

Josh: So I'd eat that. And so this was when— this was, you know, I was probably 20 and Bree was living, um, at my parents' as well.

Tommy: When did you leave home?

Josh: Uh, 20, 21, 20, around 20. Yeah. Um, and, uh, Bree and Mum would, uh, make muffins and I would be like in the lounge and I'd hear in the kitchen, it's like, oh, should we make chocolate chip muffins? And they're like, yeah, yeah. And then Bree would come out in a few minutes like, you fucking pig, because I'd eaten them all. And there's, there's so many layers.

Tommy: None for the muffins.

Josh: Yeah. And there's It's like, we're having banana muffins now, you fucking pig. She wasn't that rude to me. I was probably— I'm probably— there's a bit of internal monologue going on.

Tommy: And so they happy to see you at home? Because it's just, this is transient before you go away.

Josh: Yeah, so it's only a week and a half. Oh look, um, yeah, I think, I think they are, but it's very much like the mum's always front-footing things. So in the sense of, um, uh realising what— I'm trying to think of what sort of things that she's told me already.

Tommy: Well, she's got a lot of baggage of what you used to be like.

Josh: Yes. Well, yeah, so it's the— but she— yeah, they've got a good sort of chocolate spread and biscuits and stuff like that.

Tommy: As we've discussed, you cannot have that shit in the house.

Josh: No.

Tommy: I'm the type to eat it all.

Josh: No, no, you can definitely—

Tommy: I don't know if there's a point where if you just had it in there all the time, you wouldn't eat it, or— I heard a stat yesterday 9 pounds of chocolate.

Josh: Oh, you heard on Seth Godin's podcast?

Tommy: A day? No, sorry, a month, a year.

Josh: 9 pounds. So 9, I think it's the American— what's it, was it Sweden?

Tommy: So the average American eats 9 pounds per year, and in where chocolate's from, where is it?

Josh: Um, well, I mean, it's, it's in like, uh, West Africa, like the farms and shit, but they're not eating it.

Tommy: The Dutch or something?

Josh: No, it's not the Dutch. I think it's Swedish people? Swedish. I always get Sweden and Switzerland mixed up. It's one of those.

Tommy: Swiss chocolate, that's from Switzerland. Yeah, I think that's so though. He was just saying that it's almost double the amount of chocolate per person per year.

Josh: The funny thing was I started doing the math when I heard this because that's, uh, on Seth Godin's podcast Akimbo, and, um, it had chocolate in the title if you're interested in this one.

Tommy: But it's not about chocolate, it's what it's called.

Josh: Yeah, uh, so he was, um, I was doing the numbers on how much chocolate.

Tommy: Of course you were, had to spend a bit of time chomping down a few wagon wheels.

Josh: Exactly. No, but it's, uh, man, it's a lot of chocolate that I'd be eating. So I reckon I would be having about 20 kilogrammes of chocolate a year.

Tommy: Wow. So what is it? Because you've done the maths. Tell me what was it.

Josh: Well, so what I've done is I've said, okay, uh, I probably, I go through phases where I'll have 100 grammes of 85% chocolate a day. Okay, 100 grams. I'll eat a block of 85% Lindt in a day. I used to do it as a meal replacement almost. It's fucking disgusting.

Tommy: What's a block? How much?

Josh: 100 grams.

Tommy: So the block is 100 grams?

Josh: Yeah, 85% Lindt.

Tommy: Because it's skinny, I thought.

Josh: Yeah, which only has like about 13 grammes of sugar.

Tommy: Yeah, but who's counting?

Josh: Yeah, no, but it is, it's, it's the sort of thing, whereas I don't think you wouldn't— you're not going to get fat just eating. I mean, you could definitely get fat eating that, but it's not— definitely doesn't have the sort of blood sugar reaction.

Tommy: Well, if it's the only treat you're having and you weren't eating a bunch of killer pythons, I get it.

Josh: So that's like my healthy—

Tommy: So 100 grams, so 700 grammes a week?

Josh: Yeah, so what I just did was I said, okay, 100 grammes a day, let's say 30 days in a, uh, in a month. And then I sort of brought it down to saying, okay, there's probably 10 days a month that I don't have the 100 grams. So I worked out about, uh, 200 grammes a month. This— you told me that you hated when I just described what I mean eating.

Tommy: No, but this— I find this interesting.

Josh: Yeah, so it's about—

Tommy: because that— what was the figure per year?

Josh: Well, I think it's because, yeah, it would be if I'm having 2,100 grammes a month, that would be 2 kilos.

Tommy: Is it a month? Yeah, 2 kilos a month, 2,000 grams.

Josh: Yeah, and then times that by 12 and that's 24. Wow, 24 kilos.

Tommy: Fuck, when you put it like that, it's like those shows where they lay out what the family eats in a week.

Josh: Yeah, and you just vomit. That's disgusting.

Tommy: Disgusting.

Josh: I do wonder, I'm like, it'd just be Uber Eats wrappers for you, mate. Yeah, but well, the thing is, when we— when Bree and I were staying in Richmond just off Swan Street, we just had a rule that we weren't using— we used Uber I think once or twice in 3 weeks.

Tommy: Because you'd walk to get food?

Josh: Or okay, just walk everywhere to get food. And so we would go to— and the thing that I'm trying to do is not go to the same places over and over again and try Different stuff.

Tommy: I've got a mate who eats out and spends over $500 a week on eating out. So that's for an individual. Yeah, well, I think for the majority of people, yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot. Like, you could make, you could make 3 weeks worth of food with $500.

Josh: $70 or something a day.

Tommy: Yeah, if you were to—

Josh: which mate? Who's doing it? Or what do they do for work? Uh, self-employed.

Tommy: It's got his own business plus a side hustle that makes heaps of cash.

Josh: Side hustle. He's a drug dealer.

Tommy: Nah, not at all, artist.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: But loves eating out like—

Josh: Yeah, might as well prioritise it if you can.

Tommy: And so, I mean, he works to make that happen.

Josh: And so the, no, but the, so the interesting thing that we were doing was just trying different places. And 'cause we can fall into this, especially when we're trying to be healthy, you can just go to these recurring healthy places over and over again 'cause you know that you can get the salad and you can get all that.

Tommy: I think in Australia, It is like, in comparison to— I guess I'm thinking about LA. LA, you could eat every meal out for almost what it would cost you to cook it. I mean, it gets down to what, $5 a meal? Where are you eating? A day? Whole Foods?

Josh: There's a bunch of like pre-prepared food, sort of like Australia's About Life or something like that, but it's a little bit more expensive.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, but what is it? What do you reckon you spend a day on living? I've been thinking about what it costs to just exist?

Josh: I probably, like, on food, I reckon a day I would spend around $50.

Tommy: Okay, so that's then your rent on top of that. Not getting into maths, but you're looking at minimum, minimum $100 and something bucks a day just to exist. I mean, sure, you could—

Josh: I mean, you pay $150 for Bodhi's daycare. That's crazy.

Tommy: The little bastard eats barramundi.

Josh: It's outrageous, isn't it? And then he shits it out in a nappy.

Tommy: Yeah, isn't that something? And then I have to bloody dispose it. We pay for those nappies.

Josh: Yeah, the thing that's really gotten me thinking about sort of eating has been—

Tommy: hopefully not Bodhi's shit.

Josh: Archie, Archie, the dog that we're looking after, his shit. Because it's like he had those hot chips and it was a disgrace.

Tommy: Well, he ate a few hot chips.

Josh: Yeah, he ate hot chips that were in a garden bed and he just— his tummy was a bit upset.

Tommy: Oh good, I was hoping that you didn't feed them to him.

Josh: No, I didn't.

Tommy: He found them.

Josh: Yeah, he found them. And so he's just, he wouldn't stop. I was trying to stop him and he wouldn't stop.

Tommy: He's a big dog.

Josh: Yeah, but so I'm glad I don't have to pick up his shit. But the thing that I was remembering, I had on Trello, Bree shit. That's all I wrote. I couldn't remember what the fuck I was talking about.

Tommy: So we use Trello to remind us of things we want to talk about.

Josh: Yeah, and all I'd written was Bree shit. I was like, what the fuck?

Tommy: No, are you sure you wrote that? 'Cause I wrote Bodhi's shit.

Josh: No, I wrote Bree. There's a lot of shit topics on there.

Tommy: All right, I just want to get this one out of, When you have a baby, if you ever have a baby, depends on what this storey is going. We're driving along and Amy says, oh, Bodhi's farted. And I'm over in the corner just driving. But the thing is, the shit smells the same.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: You start having the same smelling poo as your son or your baby. And so I don't know if it's just me But I've opened Bodhi's nappy and gone, oh my God, that smelled like me earlier today.

Josh: Really? Is he on the same diet as you? No. The same Nando's meal?

Tommy: But we do the same farts.

Josh: It's weird. The, uh, no, well, this is how outrageous Bree is about like following the rules. There was a dog shit on the ground on the park. Archie didn't do it, but Bree couldn't be sure that it wasn't Archie, so she picked it up anyway. Is it like, that's next?

Tommy: Like, no, I think we all have those weird little things. Mine is going to a public toilet if I know someone's coming in after me and there's piss all on the seat, even if I didn't do it.

Josh: Yeah, you click it.

Tommy: I'm like, this person's gonna think I did it.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And I did it once at a— I was on a winery walkabout and this toilet was just chock-a-block, like as in people were lining up. And I went in, I was like, oh no. So I put toilet paper down the seat, got my foot onto it, just like trying not to touch it. But it is, that's a weird little thing where it's like I'm thinking what the other person's gonna think of me, that I'm a pig.

Josh: You don't realise how much anxiety you have until you go into a female toilet when you're a bloke. I did that the other day.

Tommy: Yeah, what if we just stop the podcast here? It will make you out like a real creep. No, because I definitely finished the story.

Josh: No, I was, um, uh, we were at, at the, at the office, uh, on Easy Street, and, um, the male toilet was occupied. And I'm like—

Tommy: And there's only one.

Josh: There's one and there's 3 female toilets. And you don't even have that many women that work here. And so, I made the call and I think it was my, I was comfortable because the other week the toilet was out of action. So, we had to use the women's toilets.

Tommy: Everyone did, yeah.

Josh: And so, that created this vibe where it tricked me into at least going into the toilet. As soon as I started pissing, I panicked. I was like, a part of me is like, should I be sitting down just out of respect? And then I just was very like, it was the smallest, you wouldn't have wanted to shake my hand after it because it was the smallest amount of like washing of a hand that I've ever done. I just wanted to get out.

Tommy: Dude, I had, you might know these toilets where Fox FM is.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's like in the actual, it's like near the Coles.

Josh: Oh yes, yes, yes.

Tommy: And so like I just walked up and it was like, what, you go up one level, some toilets, you go up another level, there's toilets. I walked up the one level and just went in because I needed to go. Went in, there's a cubicle, went in, closed the door, sat down. I was in the girls' toilets and a woman— I know, a cleaner walked in, a female cleaner walked in. I was like, oh shh. So I was like, lift up my legs a bit. Yeah, like I don't want her to see the size of my foot. It's not my big Nikes and my hairy legs.

Josh: Do you reckon we— do we go through the email now? Let's— the wins one is such a good one, let's keep it for tomorrow.

Tommy: Yeah, but, um, a quick, uh, it probably doesn't listen, uh, but Neil, a bloke, Neil. Hi, my name is Neil. I'm writing to you as you're associated with the Daily Talk Show. We're selling the domain name chatshow.com. Thought it might be interest to you. Mate, does he not know who Josh Jansen is? Of course, mate. Nearly every domain. We should send him back a list of your domains you own.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Hey dude, any interest in any of these awesome ones?

Josh: .net is a bit embarrassing, but, um, you know, we got a, we got a couple of emails, but let's, um, let's keep them for tomorrow.

Tommy: Yeah, Friday fun one.

Josh: We've managed to fill 35 minutes with just pretty some, some random shit.

Tommy: So, and that is the Daily Talk Show.

Josh: Yeah, uh, feel free to send that email though because we'll. We'll get to them tomorrow as well. It's hi@thedailytalkshow.com. And if you're new around here, we are on iTunes on, you know, the podcast app, and it does allow you to leave a review. And the great thing about those reviews is it helps us appear on iTunes in the charts. So, people will see our mugs and they'll click on and they'll listen.

Tommy: It's a kind way of saying, review us, please.

Josh: Yeah. Thanks for that.

Tommy: Alright.

Josh: Well, have a good Thursday, everyone, and we'll see you tomorrow. See you guys. Bye.