Going Back To Stripping?

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad.

Josh: That's crazy! We've committed to do The Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Tommy: Hi guys. Hi guys.

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I'd just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. It's The Daily Talk Show episode 1021.

Tommy: And we've only got a couple of days left.

Josh: Yep.

Tommy: It's hump day. Happy hump day.

Josh: Unfortunately, George is upstairs editing. It would have been nice to have him join, but he will be joining either tomorrow or Friday. I guess Friday we'll have—

Tommy: Friday.

Josh: Yeah, Friday.

Tommy: Or will he? Or will anybody? Oh yeah, we're not a headline show, but just a couple of the top headlines circulating on this day, the 25th of May, 2021. Critical 24 hours: 6 new COVID infections confirmed in Victoria. And then the next headline: Race against time as outbreak soars. Just to let you know what we're sort of dealing with on this day in history.

Josh: Yeah. Well, Jess got a message from her friend.

Tommy: Dude.

Josh: Saying, hey, like, so we've had, there's been a few COVID cases in Melbourne. Probably not a big deal if you're around the world. But the thing is that Australia has gone down a path of let's try and— Fuck off, we're full.

Tommy: Have resorted back to that really ugly, which originated. I think from cattle. It was a cattle saying and then the racists took it over.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: That's interesting. The racists get everything, don't they?

Josh: No, but so what happened was, if you look at Australia, we've done well at eliminating it, which is not like— You can't take too much credit because it's basically because— We're an island. Yeah, there's, you know, we're isolated in a lot of ways.

Tommy: Shut the borders.

Josh: But the thing is, we've done a terrible job, if you look at the rest of the world, of doing like vaccine rollouts. And so, when there is some cases, all of a sudden you get 5 cases and everyone loses their mind. And—

Tommy: Which has happened before and they— We got locked down for a few cases for 4 days or something. That was this year, dude.

Josh: Wow.

Tommy: Is it?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Doesn't it feel like ages ago?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And then we just had a few days off and then came back in.

Josh: And so, there's, you know, we spoke about the— Was it London strain? No, what was the first strain? The one that was sort of—

Tommy: South African strain.

Josh: That's right. Yeah, South African strain. And now, Apparently, there's lots of different strains, but there's ones that are more sort of contagious. A couple of epidemiologists here. But yes, the Indian strain apparently is a nasty one.

Tommy: Dude, there's two versions of the Indian strain, B.4.4... Really? That's not the actual term. But I was listening and so, it's not the B.4... The bat, really?

Josh: The one that's... Are they all numbers? Is that like a very long number?

Tommy: It's just some shit. But it is the B.4... And they said that it could be as contagious as the B.4.

Josh: Okay. And that's not good.

Tommy: Well, they just said it could be as contagious, but it's not the other blah, blah, blah.

Josh: No more of that. Done, done, done.

Tommy: But I'm just trying to make it known that I am an epidemiologist.

Josh: We actually, we updated our group message to epidemiologists.

Tommy: Which is a pack of us. So, get back to the story. Jess got a message. This is the gossip. That we never got during the— Actually, the first sort of friend of a friend or someone that I know, there's only been a couple of times, and that was over a year ago, of someone who got COVID, and that was because they were in Italy. This is hot off the press last night. I get a phone call.

Josh: Fresh out of the horse's mouth.

Tommy: Fresh out of the horse's mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right out of that.

Josh: Because you always, you normally hear, what you normally hear is A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. Yeah. Jess, I won't say Jess's friend's name because I don't like, you know, privacy.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But one of Jess's best mates texts her and says, hey, I've got COVID. Yeah. One of the 5 people in Melbourne. And so, the next question selfishly is like, have you seen your mate?

Tommy: Which is the go-to because it has the flow-on effect. It turns out Jess, I mean, luckily, didn't see her friend over the weekend, but was meant to. And this is like almost won Tatts Lotto, but the opposite. So, it's like if that's positive, this is like—

Josh: You almost got hit by a truck.

Tommy: This is almost, yeah.

Josh: And so, her friend got hit by a truck.

Tommy: Her friend was in Bendigo, which has been announced. It was amazing because we had the information last night.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: And then this morning it is exactly what was told by Jess to me and you.

Josh: So, somehow we've made everything that's happening right now about us.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: We changed the daily talk show, isn't it?

Tommy: I spoke to Bree this this morning.

Josh: And you're a lovely partner.

Tommy: Lovely partner of 8 years.

Josh: 13 years. 13.

Tommy: George. I think George was 7. Getting mixed up. Anyway, long-time partner. Yes.

Josh: Friend of the show, would you say?

Tommy: Yeah, friend of the show. Relative of the show. Family friend of the show. She and you are going away. Maybe. We don't know yet. But she said, oh, this happens. And I said without— It's not being mean, but it's like, it's amazing how we do make it about ourselves. Like the world revolves around us. Like Amy's sister's birthday's today. A year ago, we literally went into a lockdown on her birthday. She couldn't go away. So, she's going, oh my God, again, me. This is it. My friend who went out and had a big night, he said, mate, last time I fucking went out and gave it a belting, we went into lockdown again. And so he, he's— doesn't want to do a belting, which is good. But, you know, Amy always has seemed to come down with something when her annual leave rolls around. It's like, it's— that's all we got.

Josh: You're saying COVID's a mindset?

Tommy: The, the making it about ourselves is a mindset because it's affecting everybody.

Josh: Yeah, but it's, it's so, um, natural. When the Malaysian airline Malaysian flight went down, the first thing anyone said, it's not like, you know, how are the families of the passengers who have died? It's, I took a Malaysian flight in 2004. That could have been me. Mate, that was 15 years ago. You know what I mean? I know.

Tommy: But yes, but it, I mean, thank you, Jess's friend. I hope she's okay. I did ask in the thread last night, how is she? Fever? And sounded tired, sounded run down.

Josh: Which is all of us right now.

Tommy: I know. Yeah.

Josh: So, what's—

Tommy: I was pretty sick the other week and so were you, dude.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I mean, but that is also the go-to. The amount of people that have said, oh, you know what? I think I got COVID.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: In the early, early days. Who was it? There was someone. Oh, that's right. I think Bobby Bones, the—

Tommy: No, no, no.

Josh: It wasn't Bobby Bones. Who was it?

Tommy: An American?

Josh: Yeah. No, there was— There's a guy, Lon Seiben, the guy who Has Lon.tv that does reviews. His brother has the maple syrup company.

Tommy: Yep.

Josh: Farm.

Tommy: High chance that you, if you're an American, like there's more of a chance than here to say, I got really sick at a point and that may have been COVID.

Josh: Well, he was saying like, so CES, the Consumer Electronics Show, which was in January. It's in January every year in Vegas.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: He was saying that he got really sick in Vegas and a heap of people got sick. And he is still doing antibody tests and all of that sort of thing to try and work out whether he had COVID during that time. It keeps coming back that he's— that he hasn't, but he was like, I was knocked out so bad.

Tommy: I know. People do look for a yes. In fact, I mean, yeah, it's a weird thing.

Josh: Well, you said it was like the reverse lottery.

Tommy: Some people just want to feel special for once and get that sort of bonus and a few weeks off work.

Josh: Was like the woman that faked being in the Twin Towers. What? Yeah, she did. She was doing tours, speaking arrangements, and she said she was in. And so, yeah, so she was like, what an absolute gronk. That's not ideal, is it?

Tommy: That's flat out lying and flat out fraud.

Josh: Yeah, it's like profiting from all these people. You think having like a GoFundMe is bad. Imagine them doing inspirational talks and talking in detail about how you could smell the plane fuel as it smashed into the—

Tommy: It's very dark. Amendment from yesterday's show. You know how I was talking about those little wine bottles I get?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I must have been tired because I think I said 800ml.

Josh: You did. Who corrected you? Me.

Tommy: Because I went and got one last night.

Josh: 800ml would be a full bottle. Bigger than a big— Yeah.

Tommy: But I found these real little—

Josh: 2-litre wines have been joined. That's funny.

Tommy: So, people think I'm going the big one, like Magnum bottles of—

Josh: How big are they? 300.

Tommy: 375.

Josh: Oh, that size. Can you get— You can get wine in a can, can't you?

Tommy: I nearly bought that. I bought the 800— I bought the 375 glass of the one that comes in the can.

Josh: As a piece of feedback from any beverage company, all beverages in cans must have a fizzy component. I think there's something very strange about drinking something from a can if it's not fizzy. Do you agree?

Tommy: Yeah, there is something unusual about it. I mean, kombucha is not crazy fizzy, but it still has it.

Josh: It still has a— it does something to your tongue. And I was watching an Instagram reel for something different. Just keep scrolling. That will be my tagline. Yeah, keep scrolling. On Melbourne Daily. Scroll until the day I die. So on my old blog, we had at the end of— if you went to the end of the page, it would say, "You have reached the end of the internet," which I thought was a funny sort of joke. But, um, uh, no, pineapple. Did I mention this the other day?

Tommy: What?

Josh: It eats your tongue.

Tommy: What does?

Josh: Pineapple does. So, I was thinking about the kombucha and what it does, like a little tingling on your tongue.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Pineapple does that because apparently it's got a molecule. I don't know if I'm using the right science. You terms. It's got a thing that will eat away at protein, which your tongue— That's why your tongue is tingling, because your tongue is being eaten by the pineapple. So, when you eat pineapple, always think, whilst I am eating the pineapple, the pineapple is also eating me, which is very strange.

Tommy: But then what happens in the gut?

Josh: Well, I think that we win every time because of our—

Tommy: We're superior.

Josh: Because the— the acidity in our guts and in our mouth even, probably.

Tommy: Cannot confirm that. Yeah.

Josh: Well, we will look it up.

Tommy: Someone can.

Josh: Some very nice emails have been coming through.

Tommy: Yeah. Thick and fast.

Josh: Thank you. We're going through them. If you've sent one and we haven't read it out yet, we will. We've only got a couple more days, but we got a nice one from Vicki.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Vicki's from Florida. And she says, thanks for the laughs. Wanted to thank you a bunch for getting me through quarantine. You two, Mason, George, Jess, Tully, and Tony. I'd never heard of a podcast before you and have since watched all but 63 of them. Such wonderful entertainment during a hard/sad time in my life. When I tell my grandchildren about my experience with COVID I'll tell them how your bunch, uh, you bunch got me through it.

Tommy: That's nice.

Josh: I feel as if I know each of you and many of your guests, and I'm grieving the loss of my imaginary friendship. You'll be missed greatly. Best of luck to each— It sounded like I was finishing, didn't it? Best of luck to each of you in your new endeavours, hoping one day to get a notification that you have done a podcast. Thank you.

Tommy: That is true. That's how— put the bell, put the bell on.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, you could, you could. Yeah, maybe we spoke about it on the 10-year mark when we're meant to, you know, do 10 years. Maybe we'll do an intimate pub show in Stanley.

Tommy: All right, so we've got one that came through from—

Josh: not keen on that, the Stanley bit.

Tommy: Yeah, maybe not. Ian and Sandra Traynor. Ian has been an absolute class act.

Josh: Highly supportive.

Tommy: Yeah, very. He was a part of the live streams when we were in COVID lockdown. He had chickens running around his backyard. Great dude. Great dude.

Josh: Terrible internet for a while there.

Tommy: Yep.

Josh: But he fixed it.

Tommy: He made amends. So, he's sort of gone through, I don't know how he's done this. He's either coded together some—

Josh: He scraped our website.

Tommy: He scraped our website. He's actually sent us back every guest that we've had. I was sussed that he somehow worked his way into our spreadsheet system about the show. I'm not sure if anyone's given him access, but I'll look into that. But he said a bunch of nice things. Then he says, never underestimate how important you guys were to so many people through some of the toughest times many of us have been through. 2020 was an incredibly tough year for a lot of people, and I believe you helped a lot of us through it. I know I used, I used to hang out for the shows. Going twice a day was a huge commitment. Fucking was, Ian. Then starting Friday night drinks, I got to meet another group of amazing people. It also gave me my favourite bit of the show when you crossed to me to cheque out my internet, how it had been upgraded. That was great. Yeah. So we got the confirmation.

Josh: Well, yeah, because Ian's internet was— we were with— if you new to the show, 2020, we did about 10 weeks of Friday night drinks. That's right. Big Zoom calls. We had 20, 30 people. Was great.

Tommy: We got 50, almost 50 at one point.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Crazy. And, um, yeah, and so we would, um, there were no nudes.

Tommy: No, there was one. Oh, there was a guy who got nudes.

Josh: Yes, he would take his top off.

Tommy: Yeah, top off.

Josh: Um, and, uh, yeah, so we would cross to different people, different gronks. Yeah. And Ian was one of them. And yeah, his internet was shit at the start, and then by the end of it, he was crystal clear.

Tommy: He said, I do have a few questions. Number one, does this mean Josh is heading off to Stanley to start his maple syrup import business? Hard to run an import business from Stanley for a product that would probably just ship back to the mainland, the mainland, the main chunk of Oz.

Josh: To be honest, if I was to do it, I think I would Imagine like a maple syrup. No, so this is what it is, Ian, out of Stanley. Yeah, out of Stanley. No, it's a nice Airbnb. Like, so Bree and I start an Airbnb.

Tommy: Do you know that Airbnb—

Josh: you're gonna say is illegal in Tasmania?

Tommy: No, but they lost billions. The CEO was talking, and I think he sold a lot of his shares, so he fucking cashed out, but he's probably still got cash based on, you know, the company doing well. But when COVID hit, they lost billions of dollars of revenue kaput straight away. So it makes sense.

Josh: And so, but no, like, just doing the small— I'm not wanting to recreate Airbnb the website.

Tommy: I just mean if anyone can even travel, like, if the lockdown happens, is this—

Josh: So my thinking is, if we're not to get too—

Tommy: I'll get on the— I want to do the business plan.

Josh: Yeah, no, I— but I think, um, Why start now, Tommy? No, the—

Tommy: Might work this time.

Josh: The— No, I think it would be a setup where you sort of have a property and then you have a small, could be a tiny home on the property. But the maple, there would be maple syrup for breakfast, pancakes, that type of thing. And so, I would have friends and family would come down when they want to, you know, relax. But then also it's an Airbnb sort of situation.

Tommy: Would they come down, friends and family? Friends and family.

Josh: I would.

Tommy: Family, do you think your mum and dad would visit? Oh, that your dad could bring the car across.

Josh: Yeah, that would be nice.

Tommy: I reckon, I reckon that's the only way you've got your dad down there. Yeah, the car.

Josh: Or if there was a car, if there was a— it would be on the same event. Yeah, yeah, it's like, oh, Mum, Dad, and the whole Chevy Car Club. What are you guys doing here? Dad's actually part of the, um, it's not the Chevy Car Club, it's a different one.

Tommy: Okay, mate, what's his No, no, he sold the El Camino.

Josh: He's got a 1969 Impala. That's the yellow one. It's great. It's great. Did I tell you a guy knocked on the door, uh, in Phillip Island where Mum and Dad live, and I was the only one there? Yeah, it was at the other weekend, and the guy's like, mate, saw your dad's car, wanted to invite him to the car club. Oh, it was the Chevy car club. But then I found out that there's another— this sort of highly political car clubs. And so it was interesting. Dad's like, oh no, like, I'm part of it. Well, just politics, bickering. And it's like, oh, that fuck, can you believe Richard runs those tyres? Or complaining about fucking merchandise or how the books are run, all of that type of thing. And so I said, oh, I thought that you were part of the Chevy car club. He's like, no, I'm part of the Chevy cars made between this year and this year. Oh, he actually said that he's like, oh, I won't say which car club that he was talking about, but he said, oh, those— that car club just has a bunch of fucking old bastards that are grumpy.

Tommy: I was like, Richard, what are you?

Josh: What? You know what, like, you know what I mean? That's pretty funny. But no, I think Mum and Dad would actually just come down for a nice, a nice weekend. And, um, yeah, I think that was the first holiday Bri and I ever went together. Was to Stanley, into Tasmania. And we went to Stanley with Mum and Dad in 2008. 17 years old. Yeah, I vomited the whole way, remember? Mum said, have something to eat. So, I had a cheese kransky and vomited.

Tommy: Penguin's great in Tasmania, too. There's a little town called Penguin.

Josh: Don't know it.

Tommy: Anyway, next question from Ian. Is Tommy going back to PT or even better, Resurrecting his stripper career. Uh, no and no, Ian. Do you think you'd ever do it together? I'm doing a stripper PT business.

Josh: He'll train your wife and then he'll give her a lap dance.

Tommy: On the lat press, lat pulldown.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Um, nah, neither.

Josh: You were even saying when you were, um, younger, before you were sort of married and all that sort of thing, there was a level of eroticness to the way that you would stretch. Clients?

Tommy: No, not— definitely not. I mean, just compromised positions. Yeah, more say. I'm not—

Josh: you felt that you were getting hired potentially to— for more stretching than there was?

Tommy: I felt there was some over the top, so, oh, Tommy, Tommy, grabbing my leg, you know, just like a bit much. Yeah, you're just getting a little bit—

Josh: you were—

Tommy: and so you I lent into it.

Josh: Yeah, you lent into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They came out very nimble.

Tommy: That's what they paid for.

Josh: That's what they fucking paid for. And so, what happened?

Tommy: Yep. Next one. Is GB going back to Canberra to immerse himself in fireworks and porn?

Josh: Well, he already does that in Victoria. So, why go to Canberra for it?

Tommy: He said, sorry, couldn't think of anything else Canberra has going on. No, he's actually going back to get into politics, mate. It's fucking— There's other things in Canberra. No, I'm joking.

Josh: We should ask these two questions. So, we'll ask GB on Friday. Friday.

Tommy: And this one is for Jess. Is Jess moving back to Bendigo to open a home for unloved whippets? That's great.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: There's not many unloved whippets.

Josh: People love whippets.

Tommy: This is an interesting question. What dog is given away more? Like, what dog is looking for a home? Is it Jack Russells? Because they can be a bit— Yeah, Mum has Jack Russells. I love them, but they can be a bit fucking nippy.

Josh: My mum doesn't like them.

Tommy: I don't think Whippets would be one that are given away. Like—

Josh: They seem like they have a good temperament.

Tommy: Great temperament.

Josh: I mean, we've done this on the show, which dog we would be. I'm pretty sure you said I'd be a Jack Russell.

Tommy: Did I? Can't remember. Nah, because you're bigger.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, you can't— I'm not going to give that to you. We're 6 foot 2, both of us. I don't want some little— That's, you know, it's going to—

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Um, anything else? The last thing I'd like to mention is, if you guys, Tommy and Josh, never do another interview, it will be a real shame. You guys have a natural gift, and the conversations you had with all those amazing guests were fantastic. A real highlight for me, for sure. Good luck with whatever you do in the future. Excited, uh, for your expanding family, Tommy. Enjoy every bit of it. Thanks for the good times, Ian.

Josh: Thanks, man.

Tommy: Oh yeah, this is great. He calls himself the Really Old Gronk. Yeah, hashtag Really Old Gronk, which he's got kids sort of, you know, a little bit younger than us, I think, and grandkids. Mate, you, you're fitter than all of us.

Josh: Yeah, he's always lifting.

Tommy: I saw him like, yeah, I saw him.

Josh: He had, um, some— what are they? What are the ones that you do this?

Tommy: Dumbbell?

Josh: Yeah, dumbbell.

Tommy: Yeah, there's a dumbbell.

Josh: Um, he was— I saw he took a photo of dumbbell on Instagram and said a hard session today.

Tommy: So he's a machine. Yeah, absolute weapon. Um, anyway, I really hope that, um, the next 2 days we can get through, uh, before— let's just hope it doesn't get fucking cancelled. Like, the— not us, Melbourne.

Josh: Melbourne, 2 days to— if TJ PT'd you and you felt that—

Tommy: absolutely not. No, I reckon I've got more of a case against other people than anyone ever has on me.

Josh: That's the spirit.

Tommy: Yeah, it's always the upper hand. It's always better than the other hand.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Anyway, uh, we'll be here.

Josh: Um, yeah, we'll be here for the next couple of days, hopefully. I think that like, um, oh, I'm caring less. And like, with all this COVID stuff, it's annoying me. I'll do everything that we need to do because I'm not a selfish fuck sometimes. Yeah, but, um, If we have to sneak in to do the final shows, fucking, if the breakfast shows, if Brendan Favola can go in.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Eating sausage rolls in between breaks and then we're okay.

Tommy: We're broadcasters, so we're fine.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Anyway, strap in. 2 more days. Countdown's on.

Josh: Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. We'd love to hear from you.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Just anything. I think this is something I wish that we did more of, but it's hard to say.

Tommy: Do you know how many people think you won't get emails?

Josh: Like Tully.

Tommy: Tully used to say, like for her show, she's like, who's going to email? Like she found that like a big ask. People email.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And we've had many, many emails over the time. I wish we kept a track of them.

Josh: We have an inbox.

Tommy: No, but like, Ian, can you work out? Can we employ you just for a couple of days just to work out how many emails we got from girls?

Josh: I can tell you. Do you want me to look it up?

Tommy: How do you know that who it's from, though? What I'm saying is—

Josh: It has a from section in the email.

Tommy: Yeah, but you're— Mate, you've got other things you've got on.

Josh: No, but explain what's the hard bit?

Tommy: Working out how many listener emails we got for the duration of the show. Because our inbox also has other things filtered into it.

Josh: Well, you just filter out any non— Like, so stuff that's marketing related. So you're like, okay, I signed up to these things.

Tommy: Yeah, you say it's very easy. But have you got—

Josh: It'll probably take me half an hour, but it's not bad. Yeah.

Tommy: You love a challenge for shit that we don't need to do.

Josh: Yeah. Well, you've challenged me. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Just send us an email. Say g'day. Would love to hear from you before we shut this whole thing down.

Tommy: It will still be online.

Josh: Yeah. You can go rewatch.

Tommy: I'm curious to see what the numbers are like, how many people, you know, start from number 1 if you haven't, if you jumped in at like $500, $600, $700. Start from the start.

Josh: All right, uh, enjoy the rest of your hump day, guys, and we'll see you tomorrow. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you guys.