Get The Gooch

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 877.

Tommy: Happy Fat Friday! We got Georgie Boy and producer Jess.

Josh: G'day, Jessica Lucas. G'day, GB. So TJ and I were having a blow-up and so we're running a little bit late.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: But we're, we're, so we're recording Fat Fridays with the Weekend Banter crew.

Tommy: Has that food been sitting there since 8 AM?

Josh: Can you believe it? This is, I mean, this is crazy that I would leave something.

Tommy: Can we just go, what's more sad, your food that's been sitting there since 8 or mine? I reckon mine.

Josh: What do you got? Well, you go first because I think like mine is probably, it's a good one.

Tommy: Protein pancakes.

Josh: Oh no.

Tommy: Tastes like cardboard now.

Jess: Soggy.

Josh: It looks like it.

Tommy: So, 3 eggs. Half a cup of oats, protein powder, and a banana. And I cooked them in like beautiful butter. And so I was trying to go—

George: Beautiful butter.

Tommy: Now I'm going to put— Now I've got some, um, this is like a fresh lemon curd. There's a company called Pepi Seiya. Pepi Seiya. I'm going to give them a plug, pepiseiya.com.au. Dude, the best butter. I'm going to do you guys all a favor.

Josh: But they also do lemon curd?

Tommy: Yeah, yep. So, and then they've also got like bits of this butter in maple syrup. They do the— oh my God, literally butter on bread, just butter on bread. Päpysä is fucking phenomenal. Anyway, I'm gonna dip my healthy pancakes into some lemon curd.

Josh: Well, before I tell you what I have, Jess, can you tell us the egg story?

Jess: Yes, I can. So, Um, earlier this week I made some scrambled eggs, as I do most mornings these days, with my mushrooms and tomatoes and that kind of thing. And I was eating it at my desk and I just felt like this string, and I thought it was a bit of hair stuck in, like, I got caught up into my scrams. And then I pulled it out and it turns out that it was just this big string of goobiness from an egg.

Josh: Oh no, how about pancakes?

Tommy: I'm turned off pancakes.

Jess: I've also been having protein pancakes this week, Tommy.

Tommy: Mate, they're good. I used to have them every morning. They're good. Um, the pancakes with lemon curd are ridiculous.

Josh: I bet.

Tommy: All right, so I'm, uh, sorry, one thing on the, sorry, one thing on the egg thing. Yeah, Jess, you're the person that hates the gooby bits in eggs. Like, I would never have that in my vocabulary, that gooby bit in egg. It happens to the person that hates the goopy bits in eggs.

George: Sure. Undercooked.

Tommy: Just attractive.

Jess: Unfortunate for me, really.

Josh: Do you reckon that's all we need? You think GB, if she just cooked it longer?

George: Yeah, I reckon.

Jess: I reckon it was— there was something solid about it. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was an umbilical cord or something.

Josh: It is full on, isn't it?

George: It could have been blood. Sometimes there's blood in there.

Josh: GB, can you get something for Fat Fridays in 30 seconds?

Tommy: Yeah, show us the best thing, the yummiest thing in your pantry, and you've got to be able to eat it.

Josh: Okay. And it's like, where's my cake gone? That was for the weekend. Uh, in the meantime, uh, yeah, BK's not happy. He said disgusting. Um, so this is what I've got. Oh, it's actually different than what I thought. Okay, so I thought it was going to be a hedgehog. Oh, but it is a lemon slice.

George: Yum.

Tommy: Well, then the unofficial theme of today is lemon because I've got lemon curd on my pancakes. You got lemon slice, George?

Josh: Well, you got—

George: yeah, this is unlike me because I'm not much of a chocolate eater, but I got hazelnut. Oh great, milk chocolate.

Josh: You'll eat some?

George: It was between that and leftover pasta from about 4 days ago, so I picked this one.

Tommy: What's your rule on having stuff, like, how long after? Jess, I feel like you'd have some pretty specific rules around— Nah, well, no, because that's a generic rule. It's— mine breaks down into specific, like, rice. I read once, like, that's a real bad— like, having that for— that's a bacteria—

George: really?

Josh: As in once you've cooked it?

Tommy: Once you've cooked it and then put in the microwave.

Josh: Okay, that's good to know.

Tommy: Jess, anything?

Jess: Not really, to be honest. I think because I live alone, like, I eat my food as it comes, to be honest, because I don't have too much variety and I hate cooking. So I'm like, if it's cooked, I'll eat it.

Josh: Sounds like you're describing Uber Eats. Exactly.

Tommy: I love Leftovers. Well, yeah, they are great, but leaving it beyond 3 days. We got these schnitzels the other night, cooked them— I cooked them up, got the oil pretty hot. I almost deep fried them with the amount of oil I was using, and they were like a chicken breast. Sorry, BK. Can we name the episode Sorry BK? Um, he's a vegan that listens to the show, if you're wondering. Um, the, the schnitzel was like a, you know, gets fatter and fatter. Anyway, they were all pink by the time I finished. Not like heart— like, not like seriously pink on the inside, like looked like uncooked, but it was just like a tinge of pink. And I was furious because I'm like, I've cooked these and then I put them into the oven to get them to— because I was like, fuck, they're still a little bit pink. I'll put into the oven and get, um, make them, make them Parmesan. Why not make them a bit of a Parmesan cheese on top? And so then I cut into it, I was like, oh no. And so we spent good money on schnitzels and I threw out majority of them because I was like, chicken, I don't trust. I've got trust issues with chicken.

Josh: No, I get it.

Tommy: Dead ones specifically. Live ones, love them. Yeah, lots of trust for chicken, real chickens.

Josh: JB, what, you felt like you were going to say something?

George: No, me too. I, any bit of pink chicken, not keen on. But last night I cooked up a delicious steak. Usually I overcook my steaks, but, um, it was, they were perfect. So really happy about that.

Jess: What's everyone's like steak cooked temperature?

Josh: So I don't know about temperature, but I just go a— You know what I mean?

Jess: I don't know how do you explain that? Yeah. How do you like it cooked?

Tommy: Yeah.

George: How would you like it?

Tommy: That's all they say.

Josh: How would you like it? I would like medium rare, thanks.

Tommy: Same. I'll have what Josh is having.

Josh: Yeah. I thought being a Bendigo girl, I thought Jess, you would have gone extra like well done.

Tommy: Bro, imagine. Hey Jess, can we, because Josh and I both had the exact same thinking on that one, can we just sort of iron out a few stereotypes of people from country towns that you know of that are just not true?

George: Well, we thought that they all had tractors. You know the guy, your neighbour who was screaming in the middle of the night? We thought, oh, he must have been run over by his tractor. It's like, no, we live in the suburbs.

Jess: It happened again. My sister said it happened again, which is so annoying. So bizarre. I know.

Josh: And so what other stereotypes everyone's got?

Jess: That we all like that corn dip, that corn relish dip.

Josh: Which you do love, though.

Jess: I do like that, yeah.

Tommy: To die for.

Josh: Anything that's not true.

Jess: Can't have a platter without it. What else? I mean, I think this is true. I feel like country people are a little bit more like down to earth, kind of like salt of the earth kind of people. Definitely.

Tommy: Which I do agree. Well, I think there is something about— there's definitely something about, like, the people I've met from Shepparton that don't live there anymore are very similar. Go-getters, lovely, like, just happy to be out of where they were, to be honest. Okay, so that's a positive one. Is there any negative ones that you've— that you don't like?

Jess: No, because obviously—

Josh: Can you spot anyone from Bendigo? Like, are there any sort of signs?

George: Oh, yeah.

Josh: If you're at a pub and you see someone, you're like, "Oh, they're from Bendigo." Just chatty, I suppose.

Jess: Like, we're all quite chatty. Like, we'll talk to people at the pub or something, I think.

Josh: Yeah.

George: Loves a beer at the pub.

Jess: I think city people are quite reserved or they just don't give a shit about others.

Josh: Can you guys tell me the rules around— because I've only just started drinking. What is the rules around drinking in parks?

George: Some parks you can.

Jess: I think it's illegal.

Tommy: Well, well, I mean, we've got a few different reports coming in here, Josh.

Josh: Yeah. So, what's the deal about mixed beverages?

George: Yeah.

Josh: You see like these mixed beverages, alcoholic beverages that come in cans. I've seen a lot of people out and about drinking them. Is that okay or not?

Tommy: Depends where. Yeah. So... Eddie Gardens, yes.

Josh: So, Eddie Gardens I can drink.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Just...

George: I've seen a guy... From 9 PM to 9 AM or something.

Josh: Okay.

George: I think you can't stay over night.

Tommy: That's their prime drinking time too. It's annoying. I've seen a guy rock up on a bike that had this like trailer on it, like a little mini trailer, and had like a full keg and he was pouring beers and charging people. He had like a liquor licence to go.

George: Oh really?

Tommy: Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was sick at Edinburgh Gardens. It was awesome. But like in St. Kilda, there is a— and in Bondi, around those beach hotspots where it'd be perfect to drink, they have like November 15th till January 30th, whatever, 20th, is dry zone.

Josh: Is it like that, no glass as well? Is that a thing?

Tommy: Well, on beaches there's—

Josh: Like St. Kilda? St. Kilda, can you drink?

Tommy: Uh, in the times that's not around the peak, our peak times.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Like, we've taken an esky down there. I mean, they just tell you to pour them out. Like, if you're not— if you If the cops have a problem with it, sure, and you have an open drink, they just say, pour that out, put in the bin. Like I've been told to, even in the areas where you— we're not meant to be a lot of the time. But I mean, I don't know how much of that's going to happen. I've just read the 10-day deadline looks impossible for Melbourne to come out of lockdown.

Josh: Interesting.

Tommy: I mean, it's a headline.

Josh: But Jess, did we— were you, um, having a red wine at a park the other day on your date?

Jess: What? So I had it in a keep cup. I didn't really drink. I had literally had that much.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Sorry, man, the drinking wasn't that exciting.

Jess: Shit date.

Tommy: Date was the fucking reason.

Josh: Oh no, here we go. No, so what happened? So how do you end up drinking red wine out of a keep cup?

Jess: Yuck. The reason I only had a little bit.

Tommy: You're from Bendigo.

Jess: It's because I'm from Bendigo. It was out of a goon bag. No, just kidding. It was a little bit leftover I had. In the fridge from before when I stopped drinking, and I just tipped it in there and it wasn't that great. And so, yeah, I just—

George: How long ago did you stop drinking before you— Like, surely that wine would be off. Yeah, unless you stopped drinking for 2 days.

Jess: It was, um, it was in the fridge though, GB, so it stayed. It was not the worst I've had, but yeah, it was not great. It was 8 weeks old. Oh, since that— Yeah, it was since That night that we all drank together on Zoom.

Josh: Oh, that was a long time ago. Oh my God, that's not ideal.

Tommy: That's not okay.

Jess: The 15th of August.

Josh: So tell us about the date. What was the deal? Give us an update.

Jess: Yeah, I shouldn't say it was shit. He was nice, but I just don't think he was for me.

Tommy: That's fair. That's fair.

Jess: Yeah.

George: Is this a new guy or the same one?

Jess: I was saying to Josh the other day that I feel bad because I feel like I've slow ghosted him a little bit, and I don't mean to be mean, and also it's very presumptuous that he was keen on me, but yeah, I've kind of backed off a little bit.

Tommy: And is there a chance of bumping into him?

Jess: No, none. Okay. He's like, he's a Bronny boy. So I'm like, he's like, I never cross the Yarra.

Josh: It's Bruns Week for people playing at home.

George: Yeah.

Jess: So no, and I'll never go over that side of town, so. I mean, we're never gonna work out.

Josh: On Weekend Banter GB, we spoke about being more romantic. You've had some time, you talked about flowers. Have you got an update in regards to being romantic?

George: I got a bit of an update. So yeah, so last week I said that I was gonna go and get hand flowers, and then when she came home from work, they'll be here. And because we're talking about how I you know, on Saturdays we go past the flower shop and she goes, why don't you ever buy me flowers? I said, I can't get them now because now it looks like I'm just doing it because you've told me to.

Tommy: You're ungrateful and you're bloody asking for it.

George: So I got them and brought them home and I was like filming her as she walked in, in the house because I, you know, wanted to show you guys. She walked in, she goes, finally, finally, Then I was like, okay, and she was happy. So I just left that for a bit. I thought I was being pretty secretive with my filming. And then she's like, why'd you get me flowers? And then I said, oh, just no reason. So you could just say because you've been working really hard. It's like saying no reason is worse. And then so after like a a little while, I was like, okay, well, we talked about on the show. Oh, so it was just content, was it?

Josh: Said, no, no, no, I'm also sleeping with the neighbor. I feel very bad.

George: No, it wasn't. And then I played her out, I played her the bit that I was talking about it. She said, you, so you filmed me and then sent it to the, to the, to the boys? I said, yeah, but that wasn't on the show, that was just for us. That's like, that's not content.

Tommy: That's just for our Patreon subscribers. Yeah.

George: And anyway, so now she said it doesn't count.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Oh, but they're behind you and I can see them bright yellow.

Josh: You've had hay fever.

Tommy: I mean, I literally picked up on in that message when you sent that across, I said, and he hits, and he, and he hits stop and the crying begins or something. But I was like, It seemed like you didn't get the reaction you wanted. There's nothing good about a, "Oh, you've done it now." Yeah.

George: No, she appreciated it. She was very happy. But now I can't say, I mean, when am I gonna do it now? I have to do it again. But I'm not gonna talk about it on the show for at least 2 weeks.

Josh: I can know that thing.

Jess: Maybe why don't you do it as a monthly thing or a weekend thing? You could just go get her a morning coffee on a Sunday and a bunch of flowers and—

George: Well, now that you've said that, every weekend is going to be because of what you just said.

Tommy: Well, the thing is you almost, you need to come up with the specifics. You can't have anyone else, otherwise they're onto you. She's just like, sniffs out, this smells like a girl suggested this. Yeah, it was Jess.

Josh: It was Jess.

Jess: I mean, I don't know why you guys don't come to me more often. Like, I can be romantic. I know I'm single.

Tommy: Can you trust a person? I don't know why. 8-week-old red wine. Yeah, the life choices at that point on the date.

Jess: Guys, I have a question for you. How do you dry yourselves out of the shower?

George: Oh, like, which order? Question.

Jess: Yeah, do you have a routine?

Josh: I think you've got to go face first. Just dry your face first and then work your way down.

Tommy: How wet's your face, dude?

Josh: Well, your hair, because otherwise if you dry your nuts and then go straight from nuts to face, it's a little bit much, isn't it? It's a bit—

Tommy: But don't you have more hair on your nuts than your head?

Josh: Very true. No, but don't you think that there's like actually a A process.

Tommy: It's a funny visual, right? Yeah, it is. Well, for Bodhi—

Josh: Growing it out.

Tommy: Yeah, reverse afro. Um, the, uh, the, the— so for Bodhi, when he gets out, I get him to— I say, like, you're on the skateboard, and he goes, splits his legs out like he's balancing. And so I can sort of wash his, you know, dry his gooch, backside, and then we go up arms out and I go underneath his arms and he, "Ooh, too ticklish." And then I go over the shoulders and wrap him and pick him up. So, that's for a child.

Josh: I feel like gooch should be last, to be honest.

Tommy: Well, for a baby, you just want to get that gooch. You know, like they're just, it's the most annoying bit. And I've convinced him that standing on a, pretending he's on a skateboard gives me great access and he thinks it's fun.

Josh: Sure. Have you ever actually used a hairdryer to dry yourself?

Tommy: For my whole—

Josh: I've dried my whole body once with a hair dryer.

Tommy: Let me guess, in a lounge that you haven't had a towel.

Josh: No, but it's— I wouldn't recommend it because like when you are sort of drying everywhere, you're sort of blowing in the nut air into your face. It's just sort of poking it up.

Jess: Did you get like a nice little roller hairbrush and kind of like do a nice little No, no, no, no, there's nothing like that.

Josh: But yeah.

Tommy: You comb your ball hair?

Josh: Yeah, but there is something in the, like using a dryer. I mean, GB, how are you drying yourself?

George: Yeah, I mean, I don't really think too much about it, to be honest. I reckon I go head, head, nuts.

Josh: Head, head.

George: Head, gooch. Legs, back, face, head.

Tommy: So, I've got a movement where I throw, I got the towel over my back. And I push it out and I do like a— almost looks like I'm fucking doing something.

George: Love that one.

Tommy: Like, now that I think about it, I hold it up and I get— because I've got a bit of back hair and just like— and then I bring it down lower, the back. Yeah, definitely have a pose. It's so weird because these are, these are things that you just never think about because they're robotic.

Josh: What about soap suds? I've had an issue of like where I've been so focused that I've washed under my arms. And then I've like start walking. Shh, shh, shh. Ah, fuck. I've left the soap under my arms. I've had to re-embrace. Are you having another shower?

Jess: What happens that happens?

Josh: Just like really, like I reckon probably, I mean, how often are you soap under the arms? How often are you?

Jess: Every day and night.

George: Every time. Really?

Josh: No, I think you're probably overbaking it. Really?

Jess: What do you mean? Dude.

Tommy: There's a difference when you have an issue that I can get. I can wash my underarms, spray deodorant, use two types and still stink. What the fuck?

Josh: Yeah, well, I like, I don't, I'm not like a stinky guy. I'm not a stinky guy. And so I think probably I actually find that sometimes when I wash my underarms, I'm more prone to BO.

Tommy: Um, is that, is that because You're— maybe you've got B.O. always, you know, like I said, you're accustomed to it.

Josh: Yeah, everyone's got a smell to them, but like, have you ever thought, oh, Josh smells like B.O.?

Tommy: Yeah, not B.O., it's when you've been walking, dirty ass, you come into the office and you've been walking and you just smell sweaty, like, sure, sure, sure, sure. But it's not the classic sort of like you smell like a kebab. Like I do. Jess relates to that hard.

Josh: And so, so Jess, how do you dry yourself?

Jess: The reason I ask is because the other day I was washing my hair and I have a whole routine with like, I wash my hair first, like push it forward and then dry it and then wash, dry the rest of me downwards as we've all kind of, we're all in line with that. But I stuffed it and I did my body and then I was like, my hair's still drenched. And I was like, now my towel's wet and so it's not going to dry my hair properly.

Josh: So you're only a one towel? I just assumed that most women are rocking two towels. Bree has always been a two towel gal.

Jess: No, I don't know. Yeah, I never really got into that. I don't know.

Tommy: Is that a two towel thing? Because you got to do your hair. Do your hair every day. She do her hair every— wash her hair every day or not?

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Okay, so I can imagine that's the two-day hair— sorry, the two-towel thing makes sense. I mean, you're a two-towel guy too as well, aren't you, for the downstairs?

Josh: Exactly, yeah, a big beach towel.

George: Speaking of hair, speaking of hair, I've got a scalp update from my end, which is probably the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

Josh: Oh my God, a bit of folliculitis?

George: Last weekend, and yes, yes, it could be. 'cause there's no hairdressers open. I'm like, fuck, I need a haircut. So, the other weekend, Han cut my hair. She just trimmed it, trimmed it with kitchen scissors. And—

Josh: Straight from the chicken?

George: Yeah, but it was all good. Like it was good haircut. Got a bit of a mullet, but it's okay. But before that, she was like looking at my scalp. And 'cause I've been like wearing hats and I haven't been washing my hair that much. It was like, like yellow. And she was scraping it, like scratching it with a hairbrush.

Josh: It's like Andy's wall.

Tommy: It's magnets. Oh no.

George: It looked like I had just eaten a sausage roll and there was like pastry all over my jumper.

Tommy: Oh dude, you've either got a severe case of dandruff or you had—

George: It was bad dandruff.

Tommy: Cradle cap.

Josh: Or someone's dropped a hot— A giant has dropped a whole sausage roll on your head.

George: Yes.

Josh: Did you take a photo?

George: It's all good now. That's fucking sad. No, but it was like, it was actually gross, Jess. You would have hated it. But yeah, it was all good now. Just need to keep that scalp healthy. But yeah, it was just like scraping it. It was just like going everywhere. It was disgusting. George. Chucky bits too.

Josh: Yeah.

George: I'm with you, Josh. We got scalp issues.

Josh: Did it have any smell?

George: Nah. I don't think so.

Josh: Was it almost like—

Jess: I make you guys feel queasy on the inside?

Josh: Nah, that's fine. It's all normal, isn't it? My, um, my little toe has started bleeding since walking after doing the two big walks last weekend. Don't even know what it was, but Bree's like, have you, have you, um, dropped red cordial all over the ground?

Tommy: Oh no.

Josh: I'm like, we don't have red cordial. And it was like, ah, your foot's bleeding. And it's like Yeah, well, I mean, what's the self-talk there?

Tommy: Are you like, I'm fucking killing this step challenge because I'm bleeding? Because I had a blister on my foot and I was like, you're nothing but a pussy, you've done fucking 10,000 a day, look how untrained you are.

Josh: Yeah, it's annoying because it's one of those situations where I don't actually know how it's happening. I'm gonna have to tape it up because it's not like I've got a sharp toenail. But, um, yeah, can we just do a quick step count for the moment?

Jess: I'm ready. I actually do have to wait.

George: Do some— I actually did do some calculations. Do you want me to?

Josh: Oh yeah, great, thank you.

George: Went for a little walk this morning, so I got my steps up. Did, uh, only did about 1,000, but, um, so, so my goal for this month was to do 311,000 because I wanted to beat Tommy and Mace by 1,000.

Tommy: Are they doing 310, are they? Well, we dedicate— we said 10,000 a day across 31 days.

Josh: Sure, sure.

George: Okay, so, so I'm going to go 311. Uh, so what's the date today? It's the 9th. I've only done 48,010 steps.

Tommy: So wait, he's on an average of 5,000 a day. He's pretty much on a 5,000 a day.

George: To get to the 311, I need to do 14,500 every day from now on.

Josh: Yeah.

George: Ah, yeah, dude, which is—

Tommy: so I'm just— yeah, I can share this with you because, um, I'm, I'm sort of putting them into the spreadsheet. This is not to go like— I think if I just— if I'm winning right now, I don't think I'll win, but I think it could give you guys the inspiration to beat me. Like, I'm okay to lose in this one, but I want you guys to win. So currently I'm sitting at—

Josh: Power move, isn't it?

Tommy: $89,769, and I've got to add on another $6,000 today. So if I— when I get up to the $10,000 today, I'll be on— I'll be on $95,000.

Josh: Using Notion, or what are you tracking this in?

Tommy: Mate, just a classic spreadsheet.

Josh: Sheets.

Tommy: Classic.

Josh: Google Sheets. Like a folder?

Tommy: No, this is just personal.

Josh: Okay, just in your mind.

Tommy: Personal mission we're on. I can share it with you if you—

Josh: That's okay.

Tommy: Even if you guys want to text me your numbers each day, I can just whack them in.

Josh: Yeah, I definitely need to improve. I'm always seeing— I get notifications every time Jess goes for a walk because of the Apple Watch. Like, you put it down as a workout, which I think is a bit rich. No, no, it's just walking.

Jess: Yeah, every time I go, because then it tracks, it like tells you when you've exercised or not.

Tommy: I get it, I get it.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: And so what would we be on if you just throw rough numbers, um, where we're at?

Josh: I mean, yeah, I did like 5.5 yesterday. Um, I think that with GB's, I, I could beat GB.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Uh, what was— why is that funny, GB?

George: I mean, because that's not hard at all. You said you're going to beat everyone and now you're going, I'm going to beat GB, who's easily coming last.

Tommy: Yeah, there's still time, dude.

George: Now I want to beat you.

Josh: Yeah, that's why I'm doing it, because, you know, I'm trying to motivate you like Tommy, you know.

George: Well, soon I'll be, I'll be walking more. I reckon after, if the restrictions ease on the 19th, which who knows if they will.

Tommy: You're an if guy.

George: I'll be out and about.

Josh: I mean, the other thing too is, I mean, now that I know that you can drink at the park I can just sort of do laps.

Tommy: Friday night drinks with a glass of red.

George: I see the park the other day was ridiculous though, like a lot of people last Friday. That would have been at least 3, 3 or 4,000 people there, I reckon. No, crazy. Not even exaggerating. It was groups of 10, like people hugging and kissing. I'm like, if you guys are the reason I can't get home for Christmas, I'm pissed off.

Tommy: Do you go home?

George: But I was there usually at the bar. I would love to, but you know.

Tommy: Oh, you just said it like if you do every year.

Josh: I feel like also the, um, oh yeah, Edinburgh Gardens is somewhere where you would see French kissing as well.

Tommy: Like, just, uh, who the fuck calls it French kissing?

Josh: What, you've never French kissed?

Tommy: No, definitely, but that was in grade 4. Oh no, no, no, butterfly kiss, doll. Butterfly kiss. Bodhi, Bodhi at Bodhi last night, literally, he was like, come here, Daddy. And we're in bed and he just puts his face against— Butterfly kiss. And then, uh, flutters his eyelashes. That's so cute.

Josh: But yeah, no, French kissing is, uh, when you use your tongue, Tommy.

Tommy: How did the— yeah, I know, but how did the French come up with that shit?

Josh: Yeah, I don't know, just like very Euro of them, just to tongue it.

Tommy: French kiss is one of the many French terms in the English language.

Jess: Okay.

Tommy: The most popular explanation in American and British servicemen in France during World War I was struck by the more passionate way French women kissed. When they returned home, they introduced French kissing to their compatriots. Compatriots.

Josh: That's so interesting. That is actually really interesting. Yeah.

Tommy: What's that?

Josh: They weren't pashing before that?

Tommy: Well, the French were just—

Jess: No kiss action. Yeah.

Tommy: And then you see that they're doing it in a way you've never done it before. Yeah, but how weird? What were they just pecking?

Josh: Yeah, like, it's also weird to bring up, oh, me French girlfriend gave me a— she, you know, used her tongue. Maybe we should give it a go. Like, that's pretty funny.

Jess: Guys, you know when you think about things for too long and then it just blows your mind? Yeah, like the idea of kissing, is that not blowing your mind right now?

Josh: It is quite crazy. Why do we do that?

Tommy: It's very like, um, yeah, there's a It's fairly passionate. Like, I reckon there's like, I mean, if we're just— No, I do, it's great, but there's probably less passion in a handjob than a kiss. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?

Josh: Like, it depends who it is.

Tommy: Like, if I had to, if there was like money on the table and I could, I mean, they're giving a handjob or pashing somebody, I'd rather handjob.

Josh: You know what I mean?

Tommy: At least I can look off and just fucking— Get it done.

Josh: It's very utilitarian at that point, isn't it?

Tommy: Well, yeah, yeah. And so kissing, there's like, there's a lot with it.

Josh: Well, that's why prostitutes or, sorry, sex workers or whatever, they have to pay more for kissing or they just tend to sort of avoid it because it's seen as that intimate thing. It's bizarre.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, if it's—

Josh: Is that true?

George: I don't know. Sure.

Tommy: What do they say in Byron about that one?

Josh: Yeah, I feel like that French kiss in Byron as well.

George: Yeah, yeah, I mean, that would—

Josh: It's not in Canberra though. There's never been a French kiss in Canberra.

George: No way.

Tommy: I mean, Jess, you're the closest. So you're out of— you don't have— you're not— you don't have a boyfriend, but you're the closest to having a relationship with somebody that you don't know. All of us, we've been, you know, in the relationships quite some time. What's your thoughts on kissing a stranger.

Jess: Yeah, it's weird.

Tommy: COVID times, not— not— that's not—

Jess: and COVID times, even weirder. Um, yeah.

Tommy: Is it on your mind on a first date?

Josh: Would you kiss?

Jess: Uh, I have done in the past. Yeah, I didn't on the weekend.

Josh: Sure.

Jess: I didn't want to.

Josh: No, that's fine.

Tommy: What is that? What is that feeling like? Are you, are you bumping elbows as you get there? Because there is a good line in the sand at the moment because you're like I've been on dates that I don't want to have to give them a kiss on the cheek in the end of it. I'm like, no interest. You got an excuse.

George: Yeah, I know.

Jess: No, I feel like if it— I feel like COVID wouldn't, um, stop me if I wanted to do it. But yeah, I mean, maybe it is an easy excuse, like mask.

George: Sorry.

Tommy: Oh yeah, you were wearing masks. Fuck, I didn't even think about that.

George: Did you wear masks the whole time?

Jess: No, no, no, I— yeah, no, I didn't. Um, he was trying to find me. We went to a park and he's like, where are you?

Tommy: I'm the one in the mask.

Jess: Yeah, I was like, this is so dumb. I mean, active wear.

George: What sort of mask did he have?

Jess: Just a— I don't know, like a pavo one.

Tommy: Was it like medical or was it a plasterer's mask?

Jess: It was an actual one.

Tommy: Actual, okay.

Jess: So I was like, do you know what's hilarious? I saw someone driving the other day with one of those ones that you got us, Tommy, and it was up here. He was just driving with his mask up here.

Tommy: Oh yeah, dude, I went for a walk this morning and I found myself—

Josh: TJ, yours looks like a G-string.

Tommy: Yeah, looks like— no, this is my old stripping.

Josh: This is my old— yeah, what a fanny sniffer again, he's back.

Tommy: I actually— mate, imagine undies sniffers at this time using masks.

Josh: Yeah, that would be a— what an OnlyFans upsell. I'm knitting my undies into masks.

Tommy: Oh, fucking great idea. I saw a guy with underwear on his head.

Josh: Seriously, seriously, actually a business. There's seriously a face undies. Is faceundies.com available?

Tommy: Check it out. Um, I keep my mask on my chin sometimes when I'm walking when no one's around, and I've quite like started to like the feeling of it. It's like a little chin holder. Yeah, look at that.

Jess: It covers that little like pocket that everyone's got.

Tommy: The one thing about the masks, um, so this one that you said looks like my g-string, I'll tell you what, I saw it on the table and, you know, I felt like a little bit embarrassed because I felt like I'd left my g-string somewhere. The mask thing is now getting to a point where you're like, imagine when you are back in the workplace and you have taken it off, but you have it with you. And it's like some dirty underwear on the ground. It has the same connection of like, oh my God, sorry, I left my little knickers there.

Josh: It's like, oh yeah, someone's left their mask in the toilet.

Jess: Yeah. Little knickers.

Josh: Little knickers.

Tommy: I don't wear, you wear knickers, I don't. Don't, isn't that a good, like girls in knickers?

Josh: What was that? Yeah.

Tommy: What are knickers?

Josh: What did they say in Bendigo? Undies?

George: Jocks?

Tommy: Knickers?

Jess: I'd say undies or knickers, yeah.

Josh: Knickers, you would say knickers?

Jess: You would.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Don't worry, it's never a— I'm not wearing knickers, but I have worn jocks.

Jess: I mean, another weird habit people have maybe is like their choice in underwear. Like, do you guys wear the like supportive jocks? Or do you wear the short jocks? And like same with girls, it's like, do you wear a G-string or do you wear like high-waisted ones?

Tommy: Josh has customised for his afro down there.

Josh: No, I just do sort of your standard, it's like, would you call it a boxer brief? Or it's like it sort of comes down a little bit to your leg, sort of, you know, that type of thing. That's nice. Tightish.

Tommy: So not sort of like baggy.

Josh: Feels like you're a sports star.

George: Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Jess: Yeah. And do you guys buy into the whole brand of underwear? Because if I took home a guy and he just had the most disgusting jocks, I'd walk.

Josh: What would be, if you were to put like a level of, you know, sort of best to worst, what is the worst jocks and working your way to the best?

Jess: Well, the worst jocks are just like your standard, like supermarket brand or something.

Tommy: Maybe like a brand.

Josh: This is like a Thursday, but it's a weekend. Would that turn you off? You know how it says like people—

Jess: Oh, I've seen those ones at Target.

Josh: Like Target's got like, it's got the name. Sorry, the day of the week?

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: So surely like the day of the week.

Jess: I don't know what jobs you are, so.

Josh: Well, yeah, no, I don't have a day of the week one.

Tommy: I've only got Bonds.

Jess: Well, I was gonna say, so then, yeah, so supermarket ones and then maybe your Bonds and then your top tier is your Kelvins.

Josh: Yeah.

Jess: Boys with Kelvins.

George: Like $60.

Josh: Yeah, you can get them.

George: What about shape? Like, what if you saw something, if you brought home a guy and he was wearing like the little like undies, like, like Bodhi's undies.

Josh: What are jockstraps? What's the deal with the jockstrap?

Tommy: What is that? Let me tell you.

Jess: What's a jockstrap? Is that the—

Tommy: Jockstrap is an undergarment for protecting the testes and Josh's afro. No, no, testes and penis during cycling, contact sports, or other vigorous physical activities.

Josh: Or podcasting.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, physical. Wow, they are funny. They look so dumb, dude. Yeah, they are so dumb. It's literally— jeez, Jess, think about like a boxing— think about like a boxing guard that you pull up.

Jess: If I took— if I saw that in real life, I'd die.

Josh: And so what's the pro— what's the process when you're going on a date Are you always preparing for everything? Like if you're just going to, Jess, if you're just going to the park, are you just like having to, you know, get showered, ready to go? Like, or is there certain levels like, or would you be comfortable going on a first date without like fucking, you know, you haven't brushed your teeth, you're not ready.

Jess: I probably wouldn't do that. Yeah, so there are different, definitely different levels. I think if you want to be— how do I say this nicely without offending anyone— like, you don't want to go home with them that night, then you could just be like, whatever. But you look, still look, present nice, but you know you're not going to.

Tommy: And so that's just a standard example.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Okay.

Jess: Um, but if you're—

George: you test their temperature when you get there or anything?

Josh: Yeah, it's a good question.

George: Sorry, go on.

Jess: What are you gonna say? Um, maybe I'll buy one for when we start going out and drinking again, JB. Um, but yeah, if you're going out and maybe you know that they're not right— I went out on a date one guy— one guy— a date one day with a guy, and he was a dad to two kids that were kind of older, and I was like, I'm not taking on other people's children. Like, there's just no way.

Tommy: Sure, that's your—

Jess: we all know what this is going going to be.

Josh: And so the, um, what about when it comes to going back to someone's place? Are you someone that would prefer to go to their place or your place, or what's the deal?

Jess: My place, for sure.

Josh: Is that a common thing? Do you reckon most women are like, like the safety of their own home? That's the type of thing, having the cushions or the pillows.

Jess: Someone who's, um, won't bring someone back to her place because she feels it's her sanctuary and she doesn't want people in there. I would rather have, I mean, I don't want to have to wake up.

Josh: Who else is it going to be?

Jess: I didn't want to call her out.

Josh: Yeah. So go on.

Jess: So thanks for doing that. Yeah. You don't want to have to wake up in the morning and then catch an Uber. For one, that's annoying. And then two, you don't know where anything is. Like you can't brush your teeth in the morning. You can't shower if you want to.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So you're talking about the comfortability. There's a bunch of people that don't like doing that. They will only go back to Somebody's place. Oh, my mate took this girl home once and he woke up and she's gone, and he— all he found was one heel. She'd bailed with one shoe missing and thought, fuck this, I'm out of here. I'm getting— I mean, I've done that, got out of there. I'm fucking out, I gotta go.

Josh: The storey is the expectation that, um, do you, do you have to have the convo around? Are you gonna stay?

Jess: Or like, yeah, yeah, usually you do have that convo. It's kind of annoying. I remember there was one guy and he just stayed until like 12:31, and it was— I was really hungover. I drank way too much, and I get bad hangovers, and I was like rat shit on the couch, and he just wouldn't leave.

Josh: So what was he doing?

Jess: All I wanted to— he was just laying there. He fell asleep on the couch as well. Again, I was like You need to go.

Josh: And so is that not on? Is like falling, because G, B, and I love to fall asleep when there's something on, but is that a no-go if you're dating on a first date or a second date? Is it not okay, like, just fall asleep and then like we'd wake up and you've already moved us into your bed? Like, is that, that's not how it works?

Jess: No, well, not on, not at nighttime because usually you maybe get to sleep together.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Jess: Yeah, but I'm talking about the next day.

Tommy: Like, I think what you're talking to The specific nature, there's no like specifics, Josh, but you see how the problem when there isn't, you get these guys that will stay until 1:30 and you want them fucking gone.

Josh: That's the risk. So that was 1:30 PM the next day, Jess?

Jess: It was, yeah, around the 12:30, 1 o'clock-ish mark.

Josh: In the afternoon?

George: It's too late.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: Oh, that is a long time, isn't it?

George: So what do you do? As if you'd want to be doing that.

Jess: I'd get out.

Josh: That's real hurtful.

Tommy: Sorry, hang on, Jess.

Jess: I feel like it'd be nice if you were actually keen on the person and it was like you're having fun. But yeah, I don't know, 100%.

Tommy: I mean, but that's where people aren't reading the room. Like, he's not read the room there.

Jess: No.

Tommy: Oh, and it's very— yeah, but it's hard. Like, there is some people that would be like, all right, mate, time to go. Like, fun about it, but then it's, it's confronting. Like, if you're hungover, you're pretty vulnerable. You're just in your head, just like, oh no, get the fuck the fuck out of my house.

Josh: Have you ever done like a shared Uber Eats type thing just for breakfast?

Jess: Yeah, he got me Macca's that morning.

Josh: Oh, that's nice.

Jess: Yeah, yeah, he was the dad as well.

Josh: Um, just needed somewhere to stay, get away from the kids. I don't have to pick them up until 1.

Tommy: I've got one night off. Please let me stay over.

Jess: But you know what, if you stay over— this is a PSA— if you stay over Message and say fucking thank you. Okay. For having me.

Tommy: At least I had a great night.

Josh: Did you thank him for the McDonald's?

Jess: That's all you need. Wait, what?

Josh: Did you thank him for the McDonald's? You said thank you for getting breakfast.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: No, I think—

Tommy: Jess, you said that that wasn't like, you'd already determined that you got kids. It's not for me. At that same point, he could be thinking she's not ready for this, you know, whole heap of man that I am. And then it's like, you see how he could easily just not respond. Did he say thank you as he walked out the door? Great. That was fun.

Jess: Yeah, he was really nice. Yeah, I'm sure.

Tommy: So he thinks he's done it. He thinks he's done it.

Josh: He's like, why do you reckon he stayed around? Do you have Stan or something? He's got streaming services he doesn't have.

Tommy: You got a VPN?

Jess: Well, so the reason he stayed around was because the night before, it was around the time that Beyoncé's album came out on Netflix.

Josh: Wasn't that 2005?

Jess: No, no, no. Homecoming. Okay, around Coachella, and we'd spoken about it the night before, and so that morning he chucked it on, and so like, that's what he had to banter about.

Tommy: That's cute.

George: Had you both already seen it?

Jess: At this point I was pissed off because I was like, I don't want— I'm hungover, I can't concentrate, I can't give her my time that she deserves, like the actual like investment in it.

Josh: Beyoncé?

Jess: I was— yeah, obviously.

George: Okay.

Jess: And I was like in and out of sleep because I was so hungover, and yeah.

Josh: Anyway, and so do you reckon you communicated that? I have a feeling that surely if you felt from the other person like, oh, they don't really want me around, you'd get the hint.

Jess: Hmm.

Tommy: Hmm. I don't know. Dude, I've been in them too. It's so weird. They are weird scenarios. Like, you think about the lack of communication between you and your mates. When you've got a stranger, sure, you've connected with them, but then there's this like unsaid stuff going on. And it's like, I don't know how much you owe to each other. You owe it to yourself to probably listen to what you're thinking.

Josh: What about travelling? Jess, have you ever picked up while travelling?

Jess: Yeah, I lived overseas.

Josh: Sure. Because I just always, I do wonder, like my brother Jake would always pick up like when we were on family holidays. He always had a holiday girlfriend.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Did he?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Really?

George: Did she come and hang out with the family?

Tommy: Yeah.

George: Yeah.

Josh: It was always fucking, it's like he's done it again.

Tommy: Did he pay her to kiss as well?

Josh: Yeah, is it? Yeah, it was like, it was a real thing. It was a real thing.

Tommy: Yeah.

Jess: How often are you doing family holidays?

Josh: Oh, like you would do like one a year, like, you know, Daydream Island or Bali or whatever. But yeah, it was, it was a real, it was a real thing.

George: Did she stay over like in the room and stuff?

Josh: Yeah, no, I mean, we were pretty young, like, so like it would just sort of be like holding hands and shit like that. I just, I feel like I, the memory is more like, why can't I have a holiday girlfriend? Like it was always, you know, you had Shruti. Yeah, but Shruti was at home.

Tommy: Jess, did you ever take people, anyone back to your parents' place when you lived at home?

Jess: Yeah.

Tommy: Was that a no-go?

Jess: I was a boyfriend girl. Like back in the day, I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend.

Tommy: And what would mum and dad, what about like just someone you just met? Or like—

Jess: Nah, nah, nah.

Tommy: So, it was like partners.

Josh: Can you talk about how much your ex-boyfriends love your family? Like how, you know, how much of a thing it is?

Jess: Tom, oh, two of them— Don't say names. Yeah, no, I just realised. Two of them wrote letters to them after we broke up.

George: That's nice.

Tommy: I don't want this to be the end of us.

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: Do they not have email in Bendigo? Anyway.

Jess: One of them still like always said every time I see him, he's like, oh, how's, you know, Hannah and Emma and Ruby and Bailey and all those.

Josh: So the first two are your sisters and then your dogs? Yeah.

Tommy: And then Jess is dead to me.

Jess: Grandparents, that kind of thing. Yeah, I think like when you become a boyfriend of our family, you really integrate like you're part of it. Like you're part of the fabric.

Josh: So just like cooking in the kitchen and all that sort of thing.

Jess: Yeah, like you have to get involved in our family traditions and sense of humour and that kind of thing.

Tommy: Deal breaker if the person, your partner that you find, because I think I've had partners where I didn't gel, like just naturally, just like didn't connect with their family. And then others where I'm like, like that, where you're close with the siblings or the dad or whatever. Is it a deal breaker for you if your partner isn't? You know, ridgididge with your mum and dad.

Jess: Yeah, like that's, that is a, um, a vetting process. If they don't get along with my family, like, they cannot— I'm not dating them.

Tommy: Or you could see it as whoever you end up with, you're only with them because they're a certain type, and that type will, you know, they're like, they're obviously you're connecting with them. So if they like you, they look like the family. Would you say that?

Jess: Yeah, you could say that. My whole family didn't like my ex-boyfriend.

Josh: Oh, really?

Jess: And they didn't tell me until I was in the woods. And he wrote a letter as well.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: And so what didn't they like about him? Still in stuff from the fridge?

Jess: Cheesy smile.

Josh: A cheesy smile?

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: Go on.

Jess: Mum thought the first time she met him that she's like, you're going to be no good for Jess. And she thought his cheesy smile was deceiving.

Josh: Really? Well, TJ, you've heard this before, haven't you? From parents.

Tommy: I've been called all types of cheese.

Jess: Blue cheese.

Tommy: Blue cheese.

Josh: Breathe.

Tommy: Okay, that's no good. If that's— I mean, my goal has always been to sort of be like lovely to the parents. It's like you've got to assume— I come in assuming that I want to be friendly. I had one that was like, dad was Dutch and he was a bit like standoffish. Like, it was a bit Dutch. Like, I'd never understood what it meant to interact with someone who's Dutch. And the stereotype for that relationship with us was true. And so it puts me on the back foot and I'm probably then acting in a certain way based on, oh my God, like I'm being met with this fucking, you know, it's like you meet someone with like, hey, how you going? Like, unless they're a piece of shit, they're going to be like, oh good. You know, like at least nice.

Josh: Oh, thanks.

Jess: And also you're quite a friendly, bubbly person. So that would, yeah, put you off.

Tommy: It was a bizarre.

Jess: Nothing. I'm not sure if you're trying to end this, but, um, GB, did you have many girlfriends beforehand?

George: Nah, not really. That— she's probably my first proper one. I mean, yeah, like Shrutis. One in— yeah, Shruti in years, as in Shruti's name, but someone like—

Josh: like, sure, yeah, like someone I dated in year 7.

George: Um, oh yeah, one in year 7. Yeah, one in year 7. What was, uh, and then one in Her name was Ellen. Ellen, yep. Ellen. And then one in, uh, year— would have been year 11, I think.

Josh: Okay. Um, but yeah, you won't say her name?

Tommy: Uh, Nicola.

George: Nicola.

Josh: Okay.

George: Yeah, no, no, she's—

Tommy: yeah, say her last name then.

Josh: Yeah. Does Nicola follow you on Instagram?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Okay.

George: Yeah, fellas.

Tommy: Oh, that's nice.

George: That's just nice. Um, but I was like, we were like good friends before. Like, I don't think we really should have I mean, Josh, you and Bree were like best friends, right? Before you started. Yeah, that was like us. Like, I think we were.

Tommy: So what are you saying, that Josh and Bree shouldn't be together? Yeah, it didn't work for me, Josh. How did you—

Josh: so, you know, mate, can you remind us how you met Han? I'm trying to remember. It was like mutual friends or something?

George: Yeah, mutual friends. We were just at the Bottle-O and, uh, that's right, I was with my friend Tani and she was with her friend. Um, who was she with?

Tommy: Oh God, didn't matter because all you saw was one lady.

George: Yeah, and, um, Hannah— Ella, she was with Ella. And then we went over to Ella's house for pre-drinks, and then that was it. And then we went home together that night. What happened? Uh, I was like, yeah, together ever since, and it's lovely.

Josh: Yeah, she had Stan.

Tommy: We watched Beyoncé.

Jess: Watch Beyoncé.

Tommy: And none of us had kids, so it worked out.

George: Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I was like with the parent thing, like being nice to the parents. I remember first time I went over to her mum's house for dinner, mum was like, you gotta take her chocolates and flowers. Like take the mum flowers and chocolates.

Josh: Kaz is so good at this sort of stuff, isn't she?

George: And I was like, I don't wanna do it. Like it's a bit embarrassing. And I think I got chocolates.

Josh: Was it favorites?

George: Probably was. And so, went over to her mum's house for dinner and I was just like nervous as and didn't want to look like an idiot. So, I didn't give them to her, but I just sort of like left them there. Like left them there.

Tommy: That's not bad. They would have thought, who's this? Oh, that guy left me this.

Josh: Who put the chocolates in the pantry? Oh, we must have bought them the other day. Okay. You should have opened up the box and just sort of spread them around, hidden them in the couch, you know. I love that story.

George: And then I also like every time I went over there, you know how you always say, Jess, like message them to say thank you. I heard that if you go over there and you make the bed for them, then they, then, 'cause she used to have to wake up and go to work. So, I was always there like in the house on my own. And so, I'd always make the bed.

Jess: That's nice.

George: Make the bed.

Josh: Did you make mum's bed as well? Just everyone's bed?

Tommy: That's romantic, George. That is romantic.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

George: There we go.

Josh: That's really sweet.

Jess: That's really nice.

Tommy: So now I'm gonna go make the bed, mate.

Josh: Yeah. And so you still, you still make it every morning, did you say, JB?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Tommy: Yeah, that's nice.

George: Yeah, I've been making it ever since.

Josh: That's very sweet. All right, uh, if you have a love story, hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Is it more romantic than, uh, JB's? Have you got any, any, uh, specific rules when it comes to Uh, you know, having someone over like, uh, like Jess, should you, should you have to text and say thank you? I feel like it makes sense. Um, yeah, great. All right, well, enjoy the rest of your Friday, everyone, and, uh, we'll see you tomorrow for Weekend Banter. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you guys.