Call Me Old-Fashioned

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 840.

Tommy: What's happening, guys? What's going on? Happy Hump Day, Gronks!

Josh: How are we talking about Hump Day? Uh, I was listening to it. Uh, if you haven't listened to it, just go and type in Hump Day replay on your favourite podcast app and you can listen there. You were, uh, you were on Hump Day for a little bit.

Tommy: Yeah, it's nice to receive a call. Um, I, you know, it was, uh, my birthday, so I was pretty pissed that I had to take it, but you know, I did, I did, I did. Um, Georgie boy, what I love about George's project, i.e. Hump Day Replay, is that he's, um, he's sort of flexing that creative muscle of, you know, trying to sort of work out how to connect our show Because it is the show about the show, Ham Day, with his show. And so, one of the ways we were talking about being in the local paper and I don't know, did you mention that you've been in the local paper before or no?

Josh: I have mentioned it a few times. There was a time—

Tommy: It was the wanted or the boy missing, which one? No, no, no.

Josh: It was the— Yeah, a bit of both. No, but it was actually, I had a few. There was me with a lamb. Should we play the audio from the app? Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: So, he's recorded a bit and here it is. I've got a little bit of a challenge for you for the Daily Talk Show. Sure. You talked about how you got the local paper the other day, the Eastern Edition.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And you were talking about how you could, if it was possible to get an ad in there.

Josh: Oh, yes.

Tommy: So, I've submitted one.

Josh: What are they?

Tommy: Is it that easy? Are they free?

Josh: They're free.

Tommy: Can you open up the paper and see if we get in? I'll do a little work of where I actually can get this from because I picked it up off a park bench. Okay, so yeah, we're talking local papers. I found one, and it's interesting just to see what's in these things and how they're even operating. Um, I worked out where you could get them. George sent me a text message last night and said, uh, he gave me the address of a local news agency and I found it because it was at the end of my street. I went in this morning, got one of their local papers, and the guy said to me, he said, "One only." I said, "Oh." I'm glad I thought this quickly. I said, "What about 5? Can I take 5?" He's like, "One." I was like, "Just kidding." What was he—

Josh: He loved it. Oh, okay.

Tommy: So he was serious though. You can't— They are free.

Josh: I mean, it says free on the front, but he just said, "One only." And so, the interesting thing was when you brought up the local paper last week.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: The local paper was like a southeast, eastern paper. It wasn't the—

Tommy: Yeah, the eastern edition. No, it was eastern edition and we're in the east.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: This is, oh, there it is.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Eastern edition. And so, yeah, it's a free local paper. It's called the— It's the local paper. It's like where the daily talk show. It's, you know, the descriptive is in the name.

Josh: It's like you've never handled a newspaper before. You're really struggling. Dude, they are wonky as shit. You hold it up and it's, you know, just fucking like—

Tommy: Far out. Anyway, George, your ad's not in there, mate. I mean, I'm getting old. I may need my magnifying glass like my grandpa used to have, but I cannot see You're out in there. I've gone to the— I mean, there's stuff about, you know, Clayton's drug bust. We've got the cat curfew that's happening in 2021 in Monash.

Josh: How can you have a curfew for cats?

Tommy: Well, mate, cats—

Josh: They have to be indoors.

Tommy: They should just be indoors all the time. They're setting in place a sundown to sunrise curfew for cats. A couple of the— I like that they do dot point summaries in these articles. 96% of the non-cat owners support a nighttime curfew.

Josh: Of course they do.

Tommy: The majority of cat owners, 61% who responded, also supported the proposed curfew. So there's, you know, for— was it 39? Yeah.

Josh: So, 39% of people, do they just not have a good setup indoors for the cat? Is that the concern?

Tommy: Maybe they just didn't get a response from 39% of people that they didn't finish it. Most cat owners, 73%, already kept their cats in at night, and those who opposed a cat curfew believed it was hard to contain cats at night, and they don't believe that people should wear masks.

Josh: Yeah. Good, good. No, the— actually, when I was staying at my parents', when we sort of— when we came back from our long trip, we spent a couple of months at Mum and Dad's. And the— my cat, she gets put in a spot, like she would get put in an area of the house where there's like a— for whatever reason, with the sliding doors and stuff, they needed to put hard things up against the door.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So that my cat couldn't get through the door. I couldn't slide the door open.

Tommy: No, that's good, mate. They are— they can bloody escape, those things. Um, hang on, I'll just— I can't— it's hard, mate. Imagine holding a bloody, uh, the age. Um, anyway, I've got an ad here. This is great. It's not— it's not George's ad, but this guy deserves some props. He's— it's— he's taken out a full sort of quarter page spread, um, and he says, looking for a professional to run the show. And then he's got George— no, no, no, Ted Ryan. He's a compere, an auctioneer, promotions, A-grade journalist, voiceover, commercials, race caller, all sports, race nights, TV, radio, and press, respected member of the media. This guy is an ultimate slashy.

Josh: What's his name?

Tommy: His name's Ted Ryan, and he's even got an email address that's Optus optusnet.com.au. Perfect.

Josh: Ted Ryan. Ted Ryan, dude, it's, um, some dynamic ads here.

Tommy: It is a circus in this part, in this local paper. But anyway, it's not in here, and I, I'm looking in the classified section in the back and it says this is where you can get your free ad. It's not here, George, mate. I'd be contacting them. I'd be contacting them this morning to find out where our ad is.

Josh: Well, Mr. 97 said that, uh, he's like, George has organised this great thing for Tommy. I don't think it's actually going to be in there. I'm like, why? He said because he didn't receive any confirmation email. I was like, yeah, yeah, I feel like for a free ad you would want a confirmation email. There's this—

Tommy: look, George is, you know, he's had it tough this week. His cat munched through his Ethernet cable. For his internet or, you know, his power cable for his— for the internet box.

Josh: Oh, no. Annoying to replace. The router.

Tommy: Luckily, he had— he had a friend had one and so, he got it. His internet ran out. He was on a 200 gigabyte limit and he went over. He left it on, Josh. He left it on. Somehow, he used 30 gigabytes over the weekend. I was like, mate, what? How?

Josh: I know he's like, he would have done it.

Tommy: He reckons he left Spotify streaming all day, all night.

Josh: No, no, no, that wouldn't be— do you know what it was? It was Masterclass. I reckon him watching— I was watching him, I'm like, mate, you're watching Masterclass? How much, like, how much bandwidth do you have? It's real high-res stuff. I mean, there's something with the newspaper thing. Would you call it old-fashioned, the newspaper?

Tommy: It's old-fashioned. It's old-fashioned.

Josh: I actually, I was, when I was, uh, so I did the telehealth thing, uh, last night. So first, as I'll tell you about the whole experience, so as I mentioned yesterday, Bree's fucking worried that I'm terminally ill or something just because I've been fucking sick for a week. And she's like, you gotta you know, get sorted, do it just for me.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So I'm like, cool. Okay. I'm like, I don't want to create any pain for you based on my sickness, so I'll do whatever I need to do.

Tommy: I appreciate that.

Josh: Yeah. And so she, uh, she said, okay, well, um, book in with— like, we'll book you in with telehealth. She did it for me, which is very nice. Don't like admin, but I understand I probably shouldn't be looking after those things. Don't have a Medicare card yet, still on the, uh, the family Medicare card. Have to get mum to send a photo every time. I need my Medicare card.

Tommy: Oh dude, tell me about it. I was on that for many, many years. 30th should be the sort of full stop of that, right?

Josh: Yeah, I like that idea. Actually, the other thing I was thinking, just very quickly, VicRoads sent me like our rego is, I think it's every 3, every quarter or something, because like our, the cars, the like Full Stack Films business car. I was thinking, we got like $280 or whatever. I was like, fuck it, can't really use the car at the moment. Do you think it's a gronk move to call up and go, guys, COVID, I can't fucking use the car. What's the deal with the roads? Or do I just pay?

Tommy: They won't, they won't, they won't do it. Okay. Absolutely not.

Josh: Anyway, so back to the doctor. So, I was expecting some sort of Zoom call, like telehealth. It sounds fancy. I feel like I'm going to be on this Zoom call and all this sort of interactive thing where it will be able to, you know, fucking work everything out. And I look at my Google, Bree said sent me a calendar invite. I'm like, hey babe, where's the, um, where's the link to connect? And she goes, oh no, they'll just call you. I was like, okay, so they're just going to call me on the phone, all right, whatever. And so I waited. I get a call from the, from a doctor. I haven't, hadn't seen him before, and, um, he was asking what was wrong. And, um, Bree, Bree was like, oh, how'd you go? Because at one point you said, I'm not a doctor. Because I think he was, he He was saying, oh, like, is— are you— he asked a question that would be something around, oh, like, um, do you think like it could be tonsillitis? Like, it was something like that. I was like, I'm not, I'm not a doctor, I don't know, that's why I'm calling you.

Tommy: That is a great response to a doctor.

Josh: Yeah, I'm not—

Tommy: usually it's a caveat around, hey, I'm thinking, look, I'm not a doctor, but—

Josh: well, so that's the whole thing. I know I went the other way. I'm like, mate, I'm not a doctor, that's why I'm calling you. Like, that's why I'm on the phone with you. And so anyway He's like, well, it's hard to work out anything on the phone. Fuck yeah, it is. He's like, look, I'm not even joking. He said, I can fax, I can send a fax to the pharmacist and you can get antibiotics. And I said, and this is the time where I'm like, even though I'm not a doctor, I'm like, I know I've probably just watched too many documentaries. But should I not be careful about, you know, how much antibiotics, you know, I don't want to take antibiotics if I don't actually have an infection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, no, yeah, he goes, yeah, no, we have been criticised for giving out antibiotics just sort of willy-nilly. I understand. Yes. And then I said, how about I take a photo of my throat. Like, because the thing is, he's saying like, I've got big glands. Like, my— like, I've got my right side's like— he's like, is it the size of a golf ball? I think it's fucking hard to like— no, like, it might be. Like, it's hard to tell. Like, I'm like, I can feel the surface of it, but it's like I can't feel the whole— I can't grab the whole thing. Yeah. And so anyway, I said, can I take a photo of my throat? And then you can just see if it does look like tonsillitis, or if they— I don't know what fucking tonsillitis is, but like, is it inflamed or whatever? He's like, he said, no, call me old-fashioned, but, uh, no, I don't think I want to do that.

Tommy: What does that mean? What does that mean?

Josh: Yeah, that's like, that's what was so bizarre about it, because I'm like What do you mean? Like, you know, if you're going to a doctor, you don't want to go to a fucking Sovereign Hill. Like, you want to go to— like, I don't want a doctor is something like— is there any good in a doctor that is old-fashioned? Like, what is old-fashioned?

Tommy: Did he mean old-fashioned because he couldn't receive— he wouldn't know how to receive a photo of your face?

Josh: I think that it was a little bit sort of a bit prudish, a bit like, oh, call me old-fashioned. Well, I'm not gonna— I don't want to look at your fucking throat on my phone.

Tommy: What the fuck?

Josh: That's a vibe that I got. So anyway, I was like, but so it then— and the funny thing is he's like, was there anything else? Oh no, I think that I may— Bree must have put in a few things that were wrong with me. Yeah, I was like— he's like, oh, is there anything else? And then Bree sitting next to me, I was like, ah, is there anything else? Bree's like, "Your bloody nose, your nose, your bloody nose, it's bleeding." I was like, and it was really distracting when you're in a doctor's appointment and you have someone, and I literally said, I said, "Sorry, my girlfriend's just coaching me on the side here. I've also got a bloody nose." And so where it ended up was he said, isn't it boring people talking about their health stuff? But I will finish the story. He just said, okay, well, on Friday the pathologist is there. So if I still have— I've booked in an appointment and so they'll fucking take bloods and do all this sort of thing. Because I did say— that was the other thing. So when he said, ah, a bit old-fashioned, and so I just said, oh, so I just sort of, uh, wait here and die then? You said that? Yeah, I said that.

Tommy: Oh, he's thinking, who's this guy?

Josh: I'll just wait here and die there. He goes, I don't think that will happen. I said, well, my girlfriend thinks I've got cancer. That's all pretty fucking mum and pray talking, fucking hyperbolic. Like. And so, but the thing, like, yeah, so it was very annoying. And so I don't even know, I don't know if I want to go to an old-fashioned doctor. I want someone that's fucking gets me on an Oura ring and is checking my fucking, you know, connecting to my smartwatch.

Tommy: Quick finger up the bum, see what's going on. No, no, no, that's all, that's old-fashioned. Yeah, he wouldn't even go, he didn't even want a throat pick. A finger in the bum.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Or just like, are these hemorrhoids?

Tommy: Oh, dude, I think it's a current stool.

Josh: Like, hey, I've been collecting photos of my shit for the last 6 weeks.

Tommy: I think I've got a problem.

Josh: Or I'm just eating beetroot.

Tommy: Dude, do you know my brother lived with a guy who kept—

Josh: I don't have bloody feces, by the way.

Tommy: Stool. He's kept his stool in the freezer in a box.

Josh: Oh no, that's psychopath bad.

Tommy: Because he needed to collect them. No, he needed to collect them for some kind of medical thing. Like, he must have been sending them off.

Josh: Shit in bags.

Tommy: In a fucking share house, dude. Imagine experiencing that shit.

Josh: Oh mate, I've just made a smoothie and the frozen bananas taste like shit. Geez, they're real brown, aren't they? I thought that when you put them in the freezer they don't go brown, but I've had one and it fucking tastes like shit. Actual shit. He's just like, I was just looking, just really panicked.

Tommy: Uh-oh.

Josh: You didn't use the second word. Is this not a green smoothie?

Tommy: Anyway, so, um, and so we had a telehealth appointment for Bodhi, and, um, and I opened with, oh, well, the, um, the Google doctors at daycare have told us that—

Josh: well, that's the whole thing. I think that there is the bit where I'm like, low stat— so at the beginning, very low status. I'm not a doctor. And then by the end when he says fucking old-fashioned, all that sort of thing, I'm just like, look, if you weren't going to meet me with such a silly comment around like just being old-fashioned, I wonder— I wish I'd— you— I should have asked, what do you mean? What does, what does that mean, old-fashioned? Send me your throat, I'll tell you what's wrong.

Tommy: Like, do you reckon, um, did he sound old?

Josh: Yeah, he's an older, old English guy.

Tommy: Okay, okay. Yeah, I mean There would be a lot of people struggling with that sort of over the phone rather. Like, you only realise after probably doing it for that long that you're relying so much on sort of face-to-face. The whole thing is weird. I think we think that a doctor who's had all this, you know, all these years of studying is some sort of great communicator. But I've had sort of doctors that are stoic. They don't say much. They're like, You're like thinking, what the fuck's going on? And then you get the other side, which is the super caring, like very thoughtful, you know, catering to— like, but that's human skill. That's a skill set for communicating with another human.

Josh: But it shows how communication can be the difference between working out if someone has a disease or not. Like, that's what like Bree was fucking using stats. She was saying, oh, do you know, like, um, at the moment, like, fucking the breast cancer, like, it's like down at the moment. Like, they're just like, and you hear those stories, right, of doctors like, yeah, I went to the doctor and they said I've just got a cold and now I'm fucking about to die. Like, you do hear, but I'm not a, what's it called when you're really worried about things?

Tommy: Hypochondriac?

Josh: Yeah, I'm not a hypochondriac. Like, if anything, I'm the opposite where it's like, I know I know this is going to work out. I know, like, I've got— I've been drinking, you know, vitamin C. I've been drinking, you know, orange juice. I'll be good.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, that's why— I mean, he's gone. Did he suggest a blood test?

Josh: Yeah, well, I think that was because of the clear white. I think that I worried him. I think that I sort of created this fear because he's like, we can swab you, we can do all that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Well, a blood test just actually tells you if you have an infection in your body. It's the easiest way, otherwise people are guessing. But anyway, worth doing. But yeah, the telehealth thing is a unique experience.

Josh: So I mentioned yesterday about David Blaine.

Tommy: Oh, is he alive?

Josh: So David Blaine, so straight after we did the episode, I went on to YouTube to make sure that I sort of was all ready and raring to go., and it was him, uh, in, uh, I think it looked like sort of the Grand Canyon, sort of like it's Arizona way. And, uh, it's just him saying, hey, the, the new date is September 2, uh. And so anyway, uh, I'm just reading a Variety headline here: David Blaine postpones helium balloon flight YouTube livestream, relocates stunt from New York City to Arizona.

Tommy: Okay, so he's moved it based on weather.

Josh: I didn't actually know it was going to be in New York, but yeah. So David Blaine nixed his plan to float over the Hudson River from New Jersey to New York City strapped to a bunch of helium balloons, blaming, uh, logistical challenges. Instead, the magician and performer will attempt to perform the stunt, which is being bankrolled by YouTube as an original live streaming special. More than 2,000 miles away in Arizona. Wow.

Tommy: And, and I'm glad it's going ahead. So it's tonight.

Josh: I mean, this is the great thing about— because the problem is tomorrow. Tomorrow. Yeah, with the Australian time. So yeah, he said early morning their time. Yeah, here you go. So, uh, contingent on the weather in Arizona, his stunt will lift off either September 1 or 2 at 6 AM Pacific time. Everything is wind dependent, he said, encouraging fans to set a reminder on YouTube, on the YouTube livestream page.

Tommy: So it's 3:50 PM on the 1st of September in Arizona currently, um, at this moment.

Josh: So it will be happening tomorrow, so it'll be 12— so what time did I say? Was it 6? 6 AM? I think you said 6 AM. So tomorrow, so if it's 3 PM, yeah, yeah, in 12 hours.

Tommy: Yeah, it's gonna be nighttime again still for you. Yeah, like, yeah, you can stay out.

Josh: Yeah, definitely, I'd love to do that.

Tommy: You stay out.

Josh: Yeah, it's something to fucking do.

Tommy: Let's call me old-fashioned. Don't you think it's something to do? You know, you agree it is something to look forward to. It's something to put in the calendar. Like, I would love to—

Josh: like, let's definitely— like, I haven't been on Discord for a while. Um, it actually popped up on my desktop and I saw, um Jake from down the road was saying that he was worried about a Something About Mary incident with your jeans based on your not wearing undies. And then I just remembered that was one of the funniest moments in a film is so he zips his nut into the jeans and then my favourite bit is they cut to an ambulance and it's just a paramedic saying, we have a bleeder! And it's just making loads. Very funny.

Tommy: That was a line that was thrown around. Yeah, we've got a bleed, we have a bleeder. Um, I have also clipped me dick in me, in my zip. Oh no, due to no underwear. It happens, it happens. It's a part of the game. Call me old-fashioned, but that's just a part of the deal, dude.

Josh: Part of the, part of the deal. A bit of a raw deal, isn't it?

Tommy: It's definitely raw, that's for sure. You may have seen on the Daily Talk Show Instagram— Josh, I know you're still on there. Are you back on?

Josh: Just trying to do it less, but no, I've been— I think I mentioned it on the weekend. I had someone reach out about something that was sort of important, and I was like, fuck, I need to just be looking at my DMs a little bit.

Tommy: Okay, you're getting input and shit in there.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: What's, what's going on in the DMs?

Josh: Or just like clients, so just like, hey Josh, got this project.

Tommy: I'd say, oh great. Yeah, mate, don't say that Instagram doesn't pay off.

Josh: Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: Yeah, all those hours.

Josh: No, I was like, fuck, that would have been— if I hadn't written back, it wouldn't have happened. Yeah, so really, well, I think that it would have been very much delayed.

Tommy: Okay, no, no, good.

Josh: Yeah, what have I missed?

Tommy: I'm all for it, but no, you have seen the video. I made a video of Bodhi, myself, and Amy doing a bear hunt around the house. So, we've teamed up with Legacy, Melbourne Legacy, for the Legacy Bear Hunt, and this is cute. And so, I was saying I was waiting on the package and I was waiting on my birthday present. It turned out your birthday present. I'm fucking— we've got so many packages. Amy's still waiting on 5 packages. It's all because we're moving house. So she's buying all this shit.

Josh: Anyway. She said she saw the new couch in the video.

Tommy: Is that true? Yes.

Josh: You got a new couch?

Tommy: Do you love it? Love it. It's actually really good.

Josh: It's a great couch.

Tommy: I haven't farted on it yet.

Josh: It's a fart catcher. What's the— Can you call it like, just as a, like, I think it's a good quality. Where'd you get it from again?

Tommy: Mate, I asked you. You told me. I told Amy.

Josh: She—

Tommy: made the purchase. I forgot.

Josh: If you want to get—

Tommy: you and I have both forgot.

Josh: If you're looking—

Tommy: you and I are the ones that actually shared the links, but we have forgot.

Josh: We are the second brain. Somehow I've forgotten. But no, I think that, yeah, if you're interested in a really good couch, Pete Shepherd, Tall Gronk, who's on Hump Day Replay, he has that couch.

Tommy: Does he? No way. Did you tell him, or did you get it off Pete?

Josh: Uh, no. So no, we, we got it off, um— isn't it funny when something's a good product It just sort of moves around. So, it went from our friend Myrta and she had it. And then when Pete moved into his new place, he was looking for a couch and he was asking about the couch we had at the time. And Bree said, "Here's a couch that's even better." And it's like very, like how easy was the delivery? It's all very easy.

Tommy: One box, just whack on the legs, just screw them in, done. That's what I like about— I don't want to have to do shit. I don't have to do more than just screw on some legs.

Josh: And so there's definitely a bit of a couch club forming of everyone having this couch. It's called the Marie, is the name of the couch. I feel like it's from Lounge Lovers or something. It's under a grand. Yeah, good value.

Tommy: I think it was Yeah, $800 or $900.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Which seems quite good for— it's dubbed as the 3-seater. And so, yeah, we're very happy with that. And it did feature in this latest video. But I just want to say, go and look at the video. In the video, it explains how to get involved.

Josh: Just for the couch.

Tommy: Just for the couch. If you want to see the couch. But also, if you want to get behind a great charity. So Melbourne Legacy, they're supporting— how's it work? So they're supporting families who have been impacted by somebody who's served in, say, the army or, you know, the air force in Australia. And they're connecting those families with organisations that support them because it's like, it's not just the person who serves that's impacted. And so it's actually the whole family. And so this organization, Melbourne Legacy, does that. And so we've got behind them and we've, um, and they're doing this Legacy Bear Hunt, which is so— these bears are so fucking cute. Bode took one to the coffee shop with us and was showing the guy.

Josh: They're real primo looking, aren't they? They're real, like, actually nice, nice quality bears.

Tommy: I went upstairs last night, and this is— I don't have them here, they're in Bode's bed. He went up, he had them in his bed sleeping with him. It was so cute.

Josh: I could get it, like, the, the whole bear hunt thing, like watching Bode do it. It's like, fuck it, I would be— I would get around, like, what he was feeling about, I found it. I was like, man, I would be like that. Like, I would— it would be nice. I'm looking forward to a time where we can go somewhere. I'm imagining like, um, it reminded me of like Easter egg hunts. Like, I like the idea— like, we need to do an Easter one year where we go somewhere regional that's bigger, that's got a bunch of greenery and stuff. Yeah. And so we can hide eggs and I can fucking elbow Bodhi in the head for like the last egg. Like, I'm pumped. Like, you just find something.

Tommy: It's an old school game. Mate, he is an addict. So yesterday he was wild, and I, and I said to my neighbor— I walked into their place because he fucking— he runs into their house, goes underneath the garage door, like rolls under like he's fucking Tom Cruise from Mission: Impossible, and then next minute he's out the back of their joint. So, so not on, very rude. Um, sometimes he even goes into their drawer and takes food. Oh no, absolute animal. And so I said, I'm so sorry, he's just, he's being very, very naughty at the moment and he's being an absolute—

Josh: is this Michelle Timms' place?

Tommy: No, no, no, no, no, this is next, next door. Anyway, I said, yeah, he's been really naughty lately and he's struggling. He said, but she said, but is he, or is it your, you know, ability to handle it? It wasn't in that way, but it was a light bulb moment because it's like, he's actually, he hasn't changed. It's your capacity to deal with the bullshit.

Josh: Does the sister have kids?

Tommy: Well, she grew up single mum with two twins. And so she knows about naughty boys. And so I was like, mate, that is some fucking, it was like a moment where I was like, oh my God, that is so true. It's, he's not doing anything different. It's all my— no, but it is.

Josh: So what do you do? How do you take it so you don't just feel guilty?

Tommy: No, I didn't feel guilty. I was like, oh, it's so true because it's just, you know, sometimes you can't deal with shit. You know that I can't deal with this right now. It's like that, that in itself is explaining that there are some times where you can deal with it, but right now it's not one of those fucking times. And so that is just the classic case of parenting.

Josh: What works with Bodhi? Like if you want to settle him down, if he's absolutely crazy, what do you do?

Tommy: Oh, mate, there's many things like, but there's not one go-to. Humans are—

Josh: Does there need to be? Does there need to? I mean, obviously I'm not a parent, but I don't know.

Tommy: If they're being naughty, he's got the step, he sits on the step. And he has to cool it down even if he's losing the plot. And so sometimes that works, or there's getting out. So it's varied. What's, what's going on? What is the scene? And so he could be taken out, he could be— you could take him for a walk, you could take him for a drive, you could— there's— and so you have a bunch in your arsenal. It's never as simple as like, what's this one thing he knows that he has to cool down? The step is when he's naughty, he knows that. So you're going to build routines around, you know, things like Timeout if you smack, if you do, if you, uh, being naughty or, you know, taking chocolate.

Josh: What do your parents think of the, the way that you like discipline? Like, I could imagine parents looking at their kids and being like, oh no, you do it this way or that way. Are your mum and dad hands-on in that regard?

Tommy: Oh, the problem is, Josh, they fucking end up being little angels for the grandparents. And so they, they are legit different. Like, if we're— if Bodhi's not with us and he's with mum and dad, he's a different kid. There's a— and you know what it's like, you know, the relate— you have a— everyone has a weird relationship with their parents where it's, it's so unique. And so kids, when they're young, they play up, they act up for their parents. Yeah. And then the babysitter comes over and they're a little angel.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And the babysitter's like, oh, he's such a sweetie. And you're like, he's a fucking monster. But in that though, in that You get the absolute beautiful moments of him waking up this morning and coming and coming like he's in bed and he's just like comes over and kisses me on the face and he says, kiss for you, Daddy, and a hug. And then he goes over to Mum, he's, kiss for you, Mummy, and a cuddle. Like, and that's the shit that you just— it pays off. That's the, all right, you are— we're a monster yesterday and today you seem different, so let's try and tackle this day.

Josh: Or what it like, what, what What's the trigger for that sort of thing?

Tommy: It's everything, man. Sugar, tiredness, maybe hungry, hasn't exercised enough, hasn't got out and about. Like, this— the thing is, it's like you try and think about your mood and what— and I mean, adults don't even have a handle of trying to sort of, you know, like, think about getting practices.

Josh: That could be fun, like with this little skipping rope. Yes, to try and like—

Tommy: I mean, it'll last 5 minutes. This is the thing you need to be doing constantly, having shit to do. And so, like, how could you exhaust the fuck out of him?

Josh: Like, how do you just make, you know, like, yeah, like a little dog or whatever, you just fucking like make it run it? Like, you know what, you're gonna do this for 10 minutes, we're gonna go to the—

Tommy: Yeah, but you also, you're also happy to just lock a dog in a room and not really care about it.

Josh: People that have dogs don't do that.

Tommy: Well, if you've got it, you could put a dog in a— in a— in a backyard. Backyard. And it just— there's a— there's a difference between a dog and a human being, um, as much as some might not say so. If you've got a dog, I'm sure you love it, but you also don't fucking feed your— your fur— your dog dried— your baby dried food. Actually, yes, I do. Some of the shit Bodhi eats definitely looks like dog food. Actually, it's sounding very much similar to a dog.

Josh: No, no, I do wonder. Yeah, the, um, but JJ, what you're saying is what's the thing to do?

Tommy: Doesn't matter what you think, but what's like the tool?

Josh: Like, so for instance, like if it's— so is it— and this is like, this is more just me being curious rather than fucking being like, oh, I'm, I know how to parent. Because I like it.

Tommy: Call me old-fashioned, but get the spoon out, get the wooden spoon out.

Josh: Um, no, but I just, I wonder what the, um, yeah, I wonder what, like, obviously there's not one single thing that works, but so for instance, you're saying about the he's great with your parents but then he can be a little fuck with you guys. Like, how do you, how do you get it so that he's like he is with these parents, with your parents, with you, or is that just impossible?

Tommy: I just think, think about yourself and your relationship with your parents. How unique is it? But I think that's part of it.

Josh: But isn't it so much of it, isn't, isn't so much the way that kids respond and react based on how the parent is operating? So if the parent is like—

Tommy: But it's so, there's, but there's, so there's, it's so layered because there's the, the relationship the kid has with the parents. It's the parents with the kid. It's the, it's the hours on end that you have to spend with your child that creates a different relationship. It's the— Bodhi doesn't see grandparents every day. I'm sure Bodhi would probably start playing up if he was around mum and dad 24/7. Like, that's the thing. It's, it is a unique— and, and humans are constantly fluctuating in emotions. Like, I feel, I feel more anxious at the moment than I have in a long time. And, and that has to play into— that's not just because of Bodhi, you know.

Josh: And so in that case, does it mean— so like, I wonder if you are a super chill person, or, you know, like the parents that are just like really sort of calm and collected all the time. Like, do you think that they're not?

Tommy: No, they're not.

Josh: But is that like a, like, is there not a story? Like there can be difficulties and all that sort of thing with being a parent, but is there not like another storey that can be told, which is like, oh no, it doesn't have to be absolutely chaotic? Or do you think that like, because you speak about—

Tommy: No, it's not, that's what I'm saying. It is never, it's, it's like getting a negative comment and a million fucking positive ones. The negative ones impact. And so there's moments in a day— like yesterday, we had amazing time in the afternoon. Like, he, he was wild, and we went for a drive, and he had a sleep. And then we got out of the car and we walked along the river, and he just— it was, it was fucking magic. And so as much as I talk about some of the hard times, because they are hard— easy times You don't work for them. You don't have to work in those moments. What you need to do in those moments is savour them because they're not— they don't last forever. And so nor do the hard times as well. They don't last forever, but they definitely feel more taxing on your emotions and your body than the good times. And so, oh, we had this magic— let me just talk about the magical afternoon. We were down by the river. And he took his shoes off and he's just sitting in the sort of little rocks and we're watching this beautiful stream go by. There was kookaburras and he's talking to some people that were sitting on the seat and it was just magic. He was playing with this little colourful bug, trying to put rocks on it and suffocate it. But I was like, do you, mate, do you? And I just sat there just sniffing some fresh, fresh air and was fucking happy. And I took, I took an amazing photo of him. And I was like, this is chalk and cheese. Beautiful photo of him just playing, rubbing his hands in the dirt. And then the next photo is him, you know, bare bum taking a piss. I was like, that's just fucking Bodhi Jacket just sitting there playing like an angel. Next minute, just pissing on the tree.

Josh: I mean, the thing with parenting in some regards is it's like, because it's the one thing that you get, like you're always told Like, never fucking— like, don't tell people how to parent, right? Don't tell people— don't, uh, you don't know what it's like. Or even like other parents, right? Like, you as a parent, don't fucking tell another person how to parent. Is there— is there not potentially a missed opportunity, missed opportunity in growth and development in trying to like figure out these things, or to like listen, or to Do you know what I mean? Like, I just, I feel like, you know, but what's the end goal?

Tommy: What's the end goal though? Because if one thing you know for sure is that there's going to be tough times. And so I know you go to what are the tools, what are the things you can do, what do you know that will work?

Josh: It's not about removing tough, it's not about removing tough times. I think like it just, I feel like it's how do you create A, um, how do you create mechanisms so that, uh, a kid who's not feeling great or is playing up doesn't fuck up your day? Like, I know it's impossible for it not to impact you.

Tommy: No, but the thing is, that's the thing, it— your day doesn't need— I know this, okay? This is advice to myself though, that it's that sometimes he does the same thing and I respond differently. And so it is totally about checking yourself when your partner's in a bit of a funk. Does that mean that you need to fucking be a piece of shit too? And it's like sometimes you just need to feel it for them and be stronger or be in it with them. Or, you know, so there's a— that's the thing. It is just hard. Plus sleep deprivation and all these things. And life's pressures that a child doesn't have to think about, you know.

Josh: Have you had any aha moments as a parent where you've realised something that you were doing before or you've changed something and it's made a massive difference?

Tommy: Oh, I mean, any of them have been things for me though, like the meditation, like you just, the not drinking, like that sort of irritability that I reckon I'm just much shorter if I'm drinking. Like, and so they're, they're not— they're gradual aha moments that are like cementing, uh, understanding of something. It's like, ah, I see, I see, that's what, that's what's happening here. But it is like, think about being infuriated and then just sitting in that like, oh my God, this is— I'm fucking I'm fucking infuriated right now. Like, there's not many times— like, it is challenging. Like, it's so easy to just sit in it and fucking cry because it's that, it's that painful. And you're like, crying is easier and better than getting angry. Like, because angry isn't helping Bodhi.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so, you know, there's— I mean, we're, we're struggling at the moment, just. And, and it's interesting because things are going well. But things are going well for us. Things are going well for the business. You know, we've got a great new place. Like, so much to be grateful for, but you can still feel fucking out of control like a lot of parents do. Um, I know Shannon, Shannon who listens and messaged me, and she's struggling too. I'm like, fuck, it's like her stuff is— it's, it is what parents go through is very similar. Like, you're all feeling it. It's like, wow, we are The experience of parenting is very similar for a lot. And so then you get angels that are just like, you know, but I'm sure they'll come about and bite you on the bum when you're 10. When they're 10.

Josh: It's also like, not, it's not necessarily like, I think that part of it is it's like, why do people feel the need to give feedback or what, why do people want, like say, oh, this is how you should do it. Or what about this? Or what about that?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Where do you think that comes from?

Tommy: Yeah. I think there's, uh, from the outside looking in, it is very easy to see a fix. It's like advice is the most easy thing to give when you're not fucking feeling the emotion of it being your own child. And so when you see— and I do the same, if I'm looking at someone, I could say, 'This is what I'd do right now.' Yeah, that is, that is easy. There's nothing, there's, there's nothing hard about that because you've got clarity, you don't have emotion.

Josh: Like, yeah, like, no, the interesting thing, like, it's like me, like, I always feel great when I fucking do the washing and get all these things done. Like, the things that people tell me that I should do— get on and exercise— but like, there is a reason why these are common ideas. Meditate, or like, because they actually work.

Tommy: No, exactly. But that's where the, the, the lack of consideration being that at that moment someone giving you feedback about how to parent is not taking into consideration or not being empathetic with that kid probably being with you since they've woken up and it's 10 hours since they have been to sleep. And so all those other hours— so yes, you've got the answer, and yes, I think that you saying to make sure that you reinforce the thing that you just said, you're going to discipline them with, but then they do it and you don't. Yes, that's fucking true, of course it is. But that doesn't take into consideration just you being at a 1% in your tank and so many other things.

Josh: Like, so what happens with like community parent or like, uh, like community responsibility when it comes to, or like extended family or things like that? Don't you think that there should should be some level of buy-in for the people around children beyond their parents?

Tommy: Oh dude, I, I— that's definitely— I'm not saying if you're, um, in your family you, you shouldn't say anything because it's not your kid. I don't believe that. Um, it is just about being sensitive about how you approach these things. So It's, you know, you don't like a piece of advice that you probably know you should be fucking taking in the moment.

Josh: And it's not like, part of it is like, it's not like, I guess people would say it's not your business. Like, like, yeah, it's not your, it's not your problem to per se. It's not your business. It's judgmental. It's all these sorts of things. But then I also, I think about it from the perspective of how you and I approach Many things. I think that the uniqueness in what we do is like, we're talking about everything, like, we've— like, from a business perspective, how we're going to do— like, we're constantly strategizing. And so it's, it's interesting having a close friend who's— has a kid who you have these conversations with or whatever, but it's— it feels like potentially the parent journey seems like a lonely one. Like, it seems like there's a, a lot of, um, yeah, identity and pride and of these sorts of things of like, and stoicism in we're doing it our way, or— and this isn't even stuff that you've said, I just feel like this is the common concept, like this is the perspective for most when it comes to parenting.

Tommy: Yeah, 100%. But I don't think it's necessarily— it may seem like that, but I don't know if parents across the border are being stoic because they're not taking advice on it. It's everything from— it's all that what I was talking to of maybe the thing— it's like when I try and fix Amy's problems when she tells me a problem. Yeah, maybe what they need in that moment is a fucking hand on the back and saying, are you okay? Yeah, I mean, this is a better reason to cry on the show than you, you fucking pussy.

Josh: I mean Yeah, the— I mean, yeah, are you okay?

Tommy: It's, it's so fucking emotional. Being a parent is so fucking emotional. Like, it's— think about it, feel like when you're a kid, how, how much you feel stuff. Like, it instantly connects you back to, to being a kid. Yeah, it's not— I'm not fucking sad at all, but it's, it's amazing how it does get your emotions going.

Josh: And what do you, what do you think? Like, what's the action? What is the emotion then?

Tommy: I don't know. It's, it's a, it's a weird one because I'm not crying at it being sad at all. It's like, um, it's like when you get— so if someone was to say, like, say to you, you know, I've become emotional as a parent, it's like, I don't know, maybe it taps you into something that you feel a bit more. And you're a bit more vulnerable. And so, because being a parent, there is— you're open to— you're open to so many more things that could go wrong, like the consideration of a child being sick or the birth not going right. Like, these are fucking things that you confront when you realise that your wife's pregnant. And, and that's confronting because I'm like, I don't want to fucking confront that. But then I and then I don't have much option but to. And so yeah, it's, it's, um, it's fucking tough. It's tough.

Josh: And so like, is that— do you feel the pressure to be doing the right thing?

Tommy: Um, or like, what do you want to do? I think it's the pressure to do the right thing by the child. You want the best for— you want the best for the child. And so then it's like, that's when I think you probably feel when you haven't done the right thing, as in you've reacted when you know that hasn't been what needed to have happened in that moment, whether it be, you know, yelled or, or, you know, put in the room and close the door because you can't fucking handle it anymore. But it's, um, and so yeah, that's where the guilt and all of that shit happens. And, and it's, it's just, it's tough times at the moment.

Josh: Where do you think it changes from having a 3-year-old versus having a teenager? Do you have any sense of what the difference is going to be?

Tommy: I think it's literally just—

Josh: it's—

Tommy: you're resetting it. Like, I don't think— maybe it gets easier, but I think about myself as a teenager, the shit I got up to, you know, the fucking people who didn't make it out. It's like from the teenage years that I was from, you know, my mates. And so that's where it's like, oh God, I can't— you can't— you wouldn't—

Josh: you would—

Tommy: you'd want to pull the pin if you fucking really delved into all the different stages and what it's going to bring. And so really you have to be ignorant to what's ahead, even though you know that it is ahead, but take for now what it is and try and do your best.

Josh: If it is such an emotional, personal thing, and then you have the realisation that you're parenting with someone else, how do— how does that— how does that mesh? How do your personal— those personal emotions which are connected to your childhood, how do they meet?

Tommy: Oh yeah, I think there's— there can be friction. It's like two people having different money stories. I don't care about debt, you know, I'll go into it. I'm not saying that's me, but like, I've got, you know, and then the other person, but I do love a credit card. This show's run on credit cards. Get your frequent flyers. But, and then the other person's like anti-debt, doesn't want it, wants to have, make sure they've got the savings, got the buckets in order, you know, the Barefoot Strategy. That's gonna cause friction. So I don't think it's as clear cut as probably a money story, but definitely the parenting thing with a partner. There's, there's what you're saying about external parenting from people looking in. You do that with your own partner, you're like, mate, I would be doing that differently. And, and that's not fucking productive either.

Josh: But it's also, there's something in the, like, with, if you look at how we see business and how you have um, revenue, lead, lag, all of these like metrics and goal setting and all of this sort of stuff. Um, and then you have the, the lifestyle culture. Like, there's— I think there's a lot of similarities in some regards because it's like maybe sometimes that feedback, it's like someone who's running a culture-based business getting told getting, you know, having specific questions or thoughts or advice based on how to increase revenue. Does that make sense? Like the, like the, like, it feels like the— there's the obvious, right? So there's the obvious, which is like, uh, fucking, you know, you watch Supernanny. Do you remember Supernanny?

Tommy: Unacceptable.

Josh: Unacceptable. And so with Like, there's— okay, you need, you need all of this structure and you need to be doing this thing and you need to be fucking like— and then you have the reality of creating a good experience for a child. Like, is that a good experience versus going out and just being free, free-spirited and, and all of that sort of thing?

Tommy: Um, yeah, it's massive responsibility. Because then, then you think about how you reflect on your childhood and the approach that was taken, or the, the thought in your childhood and not really understanding what approach was taken. I don't think I feel like I, I know what approach was taken by my parents other than they fucking loved me and they would do anything and they cared about where— what I wanted and what I wanted, what I was thinking.

Josh: Um, do you feel like you were trying to recreate what your parents did for you? I guess like most people have like one of two ways, or it's like, I guess you're doing a bit of a hybrid where it's like, you will definitely—

Tommy: yeah, I mean, one thing that's pretty fucking spot on is a loving environment, child understanding how much they mean to you and, and that, that they're loved and, and and being there for them and making them feel safe, like all these core needs. So there's ticking the boxes there because not everyone nails that. And so nailing some of those, which build, you know, the fundamentals of, of their human, you know, experience, and plus the other stuff like understanding boundaries and all this stuff, like Yeah, yeah, there's, there's so much going on in that game.

Josh: Yeah, I think like it's definitely worth talking about because I think that like you're not alone. I think that even people without the challenges of having kids are struggling.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so then you add, you know, a few human bodies that fucking need to be looked after and cared for. Like, I can imagine it's Extremely tough.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'll be, um, fending Bodie off from eating my birthday cake that Amy made. Yeah, I've heard that. That's my day.

Josh: You're gonna eat the whole thing, weren't you?

Tommy: I know I had one slice last night and it was small.

Josh: I, um, did Amy make it?

Tommy: She made it.

Josh: She's a fuck. How did she make it? When did she make it? Did you see her making it, mate?

Tommy: Uh, mothers are super superheroes. They can be a mother, they can do a bunch of work, and fucking make a double-decker rocky road cake for a 32nd birthday.

Josh: Do you know what it reminded me of? Like, there's, um, I'm not gonna be able to find it, but I think it was Rugrats. Oh yeah, in Rugrats there was like a scene with like a chocolate cake. You know, like cartoons have a really good way of like creating a cake that you just want to eat. I'm trying to get Rugrats cake, and unfortunately every— like, it's just all Parents have made Rugrats, made Rugrats cakes for their kids. But, um, I love cake.

Tommy: All right, everyone look after yourselves.

Josh: I mean, the thing, it's a, um, like, it— I think that the friction is, it's like, it's not coming from a judgmental place either. When, when people are like— I think from an empathetic perspective, I see, I see both. I see why Advice is the worst thing in a lot of ways, and it just triggers and it doesn't help. And then you see— you and I have seen how we, we do that with our own partners, where it's like we want to help, and it's like, oh, we see— when you see the obvious, it feels like, oh fuck, I need to, I need to show, I need to say something, or maybe I could help, or whatever it is. And so I think that that's an interesting challenge Uh, for other people, it's like, oh no, well, that's not your— like, that's not your job. I don't even think it's necessarily about— the interesting thing is it's not even coaching. Like, you look at like Michael Bungay Stanier where it's like, oh, you know, the advice monster, don't do advice or whatever. But I don't even think necessarily that there is a place at the moment for conversations. If I was to ask questions around, like, to try and get to that point. It's like, I don't think that that's the answer either.

Tommy: Yeah, it's, it's delicate. And most likely the time that you feel like you want to give a piece of advice is probably at a highly emotional moment, because that's when advice comes to your head, when you're in a scenario where shit is like, I see the problem, this is fucking clear as day to me.

Josh: Well, because maybe it's the time also we don't give— like, I think that our default is shut up, don't give advice. And so there's normally a trigger point seeing if your friend struggle or saying like, yeah, whatever it is, to be like, oh, maybe like, maybe this or that. And that's the same thing with you with like food with me where it's like, it's so tempting when you see someone being like, man, I want to fucking, I want to get ripped. It's like, mate, you had 2 burritos for dinner. Just why'd you do that? Yeah, but you can't, but it's like there is a point. Yeah, but there is a point where it's like like you recognize, it's like, oh, actually, like, that's saying the burrito thing isn't actually going to move you closer to being ripped. Like, because Josh knows that he doesn't— like, so it's that whole thing of everyone knows the obvious, everyone knows what they need to do. Um, yeah, it's interesting.

Tommy: Yeah, we know, we know what to do, but we don't do what we know. It's, it's a classic, classic line. Anyway. Happy talk show.

Josh: Love you, Tae Chan.

Tommy: Love you guys.

Josh: Love you, Josh. Catch you guys. Have a good one. Enjoy your day.