A Crusty Nose

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 836.

Tommy: It's weekend banter. Welcome, Jess Mason.

Jess: Hello.

Tommy: Or Mr. 97, as we like to call him. Great, you're in trouble.

Josh: The hump day replay, I really enjoyed it, um, with, uh, Georgie Boy. I feel like we learned— but yeah, we, we learned more and more about both of you. During that time. Sev's, uh, it turns out that you're way into sport, more into sport than I actually knew. And, uh, yeah, you also flex it a little bit.

Mason: I've been into sport previously. I maybe in the past I would have associated with being the sports guy, but I've— because, you know, you get into like FIFA and playing all the video games.

Josh: You said you're a 3-point shooter. What does that mean?

Mason: Yeah, uh, well I mean, I probably hit 1 in 10, um, but I was too— I was too bad at layups, so the only thing I could do was shoot 1 in 10 threes.

Tommy: 1 in 10 threes. And how were you actually getting this data, Seb? It's like, I mean, it's— it sounds like you're LeBron James and you've had all these sort of people in the stands checking off every time you get a 3. Mate, you were 6— you were 14 playing basketball at school. No one was keeping track.

Mason: Yeah, you just know the, the main thing is you just miss a lot and you hit maybe one every two games. And I would say I probably take five shots again.

Josh: But I mean, the fact that you reckon you could know, you know, the exact, the exact, um, the exact analytics— you weren't part of some sort of Three Identical Strangers, um, programme where someone followed you along?

Mason: No, I actually, I actually should have brought it on hump day, but we've actually got jumpers, like jackets, because our basketball team was called the Godfathers. And so we have red— we have red jackets with, for some reason, like a tropical, um, like palm tree on the front. Doesn't make sense. And then I had, I think, Laura—

Josh: the embroidery business just had the patches and they said, look, I can give you a good deal on the palm trees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Gold Coast palms are our business. We've got fucking 100 of them.

Tommy: Well, um, We have been sort of, last week we checked in on Jess's dating life. I think we don't need to cheque in on that again. I wanna cheque in on your sort of follower count on Instagram after it's opened up, Jess. I have one suggestion for you, which is how to not lose more followers if you've been losing followers.

Josh: If you're haemorrhaging followers, we can help.

Tommy: I'll tell you how not to in a second, but how is your Insta going?

Jess: Yeah, I think I'm 100 up. Since, uh, you guys opened up my Instagram.

Josh: That's huge.

Tommy: All right, if this was—

Josh: if you didn't bring this, making money, steady growth, steady growth, baby.

Tommy: Well, um, there is one way I've spotted, and it's, it's totally, it's totally a, um, sort of a byproduct of being around you, Josh, the reason why I do these things. And I stop midway and I'm like I'm being Josh Jansen. I'm looking at my phone. I'm thinking, why don't I have a toe thumb? This should be a toe thumb that I'm using. Anyway, no, no, no. I saw my friend, he, I won't say his name, but I saw my friend who removed everybody that he follows. And there was a couple of thousand, I think. And so he's done the complete cull and sort of put out a message and said, this feels good. I've removed all my followers.

Josh: He hasn't removed his, has he removed his followers or his—

Tommy: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Followed. He removed who he followed.

Josh: So he's like, this is— mate, just don't have Instagram. Feeling good with no followers.

Tommy: He followed no one and he said it felt really good. And so he still had thousands of followers.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so there's— this is what celebrities do, right? There's a few people like, I think Bieber doesn't follow many. Beyoncé, she got none. Has she got any?

Jess: She's got zero. Yeah.

Tommy: Okay. And so at that point you realise that you can be uber famous and still have people wanting to see what you have to say and you don't care what anyone has to say. That's how self-indulgent you are. You're like, fucking everyone loves me, I don't give a fuck about the world.

Josh: I am a broadcaster.

Tommy: It's so funny. Anyway, in that moment I was like, fuck, it's something you can do when you're like Beyoncé status because no one cares. It's like, oh my God, she doesn't follow anyone. That's, that's expectable. That's expected.

Josh: Sorry.

Tommy: And, um, and so I I screenshot, sorry, Lynn, sorry, Lynn.

Josh: What was that? I won't go into it.

Tommy: Anyway, so what I did was, let me fucking finish this. I screenshot his account at that level of zero following and whatever amount of followers. And I looked at it today. And the reason I screenshot it weeks ago was because I was like, I reckon if I did that, I would lose followers. Like I reckon people would be like, You're a fucking wanker, Tommy.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, like, yeah.

Tommy: And so anyway, host as well. Anyway, I've looked back at it and he's lost almost 30 followers since doing that. So that's not too bad. I mean, did he have a couple of thousand? So if you were Beyoncé, what would the— so let me just work out the quick percentage here. It'd be like point something. To Beyoncé's account, it would be a lot. In just in terms of the number, but not against the full figure of her following. But Jess, if you, you know, I know we've opened it up, I know, don't get ahead of yourself. Don't just go and remove every single person you follow. And—

Josh: I'm not just doing that. I mean, you're already archiving things that I've put up there.

Jess: Yeah, I've archived a few photos. And you know what? I've started unfollowing people that I don't want to see anymore.

Josh: Oh, that's so hard.

Jess: Yeah, that's good. So because I don't know if you guys do this, but if someone follows you, you feel obliged to follow them back. Not in the sense of Ryan John, but just like if you know someone and they follow you, you feel like you have to follow them back. And there's girls from school that I don't want to see. I don't want to see their kids and stuff. Like, I don't like— I like my actual friends' kids, but not randoms. Do you know what I mean?

Mason: See their kids? Yeah, no, I get it.

Tommy: No, that's fair. Sometimes you just want to remember the kid from high school as that little fuckwit. Just a little, you know, the idiot that smelt, and not that they've actually become a real person and have a beautiful family. The old memory of that's better.

Jess: I'm trying to be conscious of what I say on this show because Georgie boy played back something that I said about my dating life last week, and I sound like an absolute mole. So I need to— I'm just trying to be conscious of what I say.

Josh: What did you say? Why do you think you sounded like a mole?

Jess: I was just really harsh to the guy that I stop talking to.

Josh: Do you think that this maybe could be a bit of self-development for you? Like, maybe it's like a bit of reflection.

Jess: Yeah, absolutely. That I am too harsh.

Josh: Well, I don't think— No. Yeah, but you're not a mole. Like, I remember when I said— I used that phrase, the word, the first time, and my mum said, that's a very bad— Like, don't call people moles. That's really—

Mason: Why did—

Tommy: Where does that come from?

Josh: I don't know.

Tommy: But where does mole come from? Other than your face.

Josh: There was something in school where we'd always say, "Shut up, you ugly mole," like to everyone, but you'd say it to everyone.

Tommy: Oh, maybe because people think moles are ugly. Ugly mole.

Josh: Well, a mole is sort of like a— Is it like a— Is it similar to a slut, or are they completely different?

Jess: I don't know.

Tommy: What does it mean to be called a mole?

Jess: I just associated it with that word.

Tommy: Oh, I mean, yeah, there's plenty of reasons, plenty of sort of definitions of mole. I'm trying to find the— they may dig— I found the animal, a mole. Urban dictionary, that's where it's from.

Jess: Maybe it's a compliment.

Josh: No, it's not a compliment. No, but I think it's a little bit harsh calling yourself a mole. I don't think you are a mole.

Tommy: You're not a mole, Jess.

Josh: And so there are— well, there was the show The Mole. And so it couldn't have been— I think it was around that time.

Mason: Um, are you talking M-O-L-E or M-O-L-L?

Josh: M-O-L-L.

Mason: So I— because I just typed in M-O-L-E and it's come up with M-O-L-L. M-O-L-L is a slang term with two different meanings in two different places. In the US, it's the term for a gangster's girlfriend. In Australia and New Zealand, um, It's—

Josh: I can imagine that's what you are.

Jess: It's—

Tommy: you gotta have a boyfriend to be a girlfriend.

Mason: It also means like a prostitute.

Jess: I said that because I didn't— wasn't watching the screen and I couldn't work it out.

Josh: Yeah, I could imagine you in like a leather jacket though, like in some sort of club, just on the back.

Tommy: And so, sorry, Maze, what's in Australian? New Zealand?

Mason: Uh, the Australian New Zealand is a prostitute.

Tommy: Okay, so that's what Australian—

Jess: so, okay.

Tommy: You know, so you're not a prostitute. I think I can pretty sure I can say that you're not. Time to time at the moment.

Josh: Not in COVID. And so the self-reflection, what does it make you consider? Do you think that you will actually change anything about your communication style?

Jess: I just need to Yeah, not say what I think on camera.

Josh: Oh wait, so—

Jess: It won't stop me elsewhere.

Josh: Wait, so was the issue about you reflecting on it versus actually, do you think that you are, and these are your words, a mole when you are DMing?

Jess: No, not at all.

Josh: So it's only in reflection that you feel that?

Jess: Oh wait, what do you, I don't know what you mean by DMing then. What do you mean?

Josh: Am I a mole to other people or? Yeah, do you think that you're a mole today? Or do you think that you're a mole when you are talking about your dating?

Jess: Yeah, the latter. I'm definitely not a mole to other people today.

Josh: So I thought the way that you'd sort of said it was, oh man, when I— oh no, I get that. Yeah, no, that's fine.

Tommy: But Jess, do you think that— so what you're trying to do, what you've noticed is something you've done, but you're not saying that, oh my God, I was just talking shit. I didn't even mean that. You're actually just saying I need to pull back what I say and not talk my truth. And so, you know, are we looking at the truth being, uh, you know, you're pretty savage? Is that what you're saying you are?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, are you just gonna— is it now a facade moving forward? Do we, do we need to build out the character?

Josh: I can't deal with nice Jess. I can't deal with you just pretending to be nice.

Mason: No nice Jess.

Jess: Yeah, I think, um, I think I was just savage because of the— like, dating frustrates me, as we all know, and Maybe.

Tommy: What frustrates you more, tech troubles or dating?

Jess: They are related.

Josh: Just trying to get a Zoom to work with the date. That's the ultimate.

Jess: Could you imagine? I'd be savage as fuck.

Josh: What's the— you were talking on Hump Day about your favourite weekend of the year.

Jess: Oh yeah, the Bendigo Easter Parade.

Josh: Yeah, so was it—

Jess: Or Easter Festival, rather.

Josh: And so, do you think that that's going to happen next year? Did it happen this year?

Jess: No, probably not. No, it didn't happen. It was one of the first things that was cancelled when COVID started to hit, and it broke my heart. But I don't even think I'm going to be able to go next year because my friend's going to do a wedding over that weekend. If we can. I know, so—

Josh: Is it the Easter eggs? Do you like Easter eggs?

Jess: Yeah, I love Easter eggs, but they have to be Cadbury, naturally, or Lynch.

Josh: Yeah. Do you get the big, like, I, you get like a milk carton style thing that's got all the eggs in it. You just sort of, I can smash, like they're a perfect sort of size, right? Like that sort of, like the sort of.

Jess: No, that's too big. I like the little one, the desktop.

Josh: Oh, the real, the small ones. The annoying thing about the little ones is it's just, it's so much. Wrapper wasted, like just so much time wasting in just like trying to get the fucking little thing out. It's just like so— and sometimes like when you pick the foil, that you accidentally dig into some of the chocolate, so you end up with fucking chocolate under your fucking fingernail. It looks like you're fucking the toilet.

Jess: JJ, are you okay?

Tommy: Can we get a grab from yesterday's show where Josh said he's not picky? You said, oh no, I'm not picky.

Josh: No, I'll fuck eat them. I'll smash a whole bag of those little ones, but I just prefer—

Jess: Josh, in what context were you not picky?

Josh: Not picky? Oh, do you think I'm picky?

Mason: Yes.

Josh: With what?

Jess: 100%. You are the definition of picky.

Josh: I'm not picky. What do you mean? What am I picky about?

Mason: Here we go.

Jess: You're picky about people, you're picky about—

Tommy: Food.

Josh: You're gonna listen back to this. Yeah, sound like a real mole, but I'll leave you. Now, what else am I picky about?

Jess: Okay, um, so food.

Josh: Do you think food?

Mason: Oh, here we go. Well, so we, so we, we were on FaceTime the other day.

Josh: Okay.

Mason: And this— so the scenario was the Mount Franklin water that you absolutely love, the sparkling water in the cans. That was out. You run out in the, in the fridge, and so you're essentially— what you said is, I can't drink water, I can't drink water now.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: And I'm just like, well, you've, you've got a SodaStream, you can still have sparkling. He's like, no, not the same. No. So he wouldn't have water, he wouldn't have sparkling water, he's only having canned Mount Franklin water.

Josh: Okay. Yeah, yeah, that's— I guess that's quite big.

Tommy: Well, I just find out What does picky mean?

Mason: Coffee and my berries.

Tommy: Fussy and hard to please. They're becoming increasingly picky about where they stay, as an example. It is. You're right, Jess, the definition.

Josh: And so, Jess, what was the other one?

Jess: Coffee.

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Jess: You were just moaning about, yeah, the milk and where you're going.

Josh: Oh, I actually, I think that I'll drink any coffee. But no, you will.

Tommy: But it's—

Josh: I'll talk about it.

Tommy: I don't think picky is— necessarily that you won't do, won't have it.

Mason: It's—

Josh: yeah, but is it? I'm really struggling to understand with me, especially in ISO, what's gear and what's just me, because I say I do a lot of gear, but it's— I also wouldn't have it any other way.

Tommy: So it's you.

Josh: It is. No, it is you. It could be me.

Tommy: Yeah, I think the gear thing can be an easy out. Like, I've used it, man. I was just it was just a bit of gear. Like when it just removes maybe the intensity 30% instantly, just a bit of gear, but it doesn't mean that it wasn't real.

Jess: I've got one final one.

Josh: Okay.

Jess: Oh, the index cards.

Josh: Index cards.

Jess: Had to go.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, that's not super fussy though, is it? Like, I think the— actually, what I thought you were going to say is internet. I am very fussy about people's— if I Before I do a FaceTime with anyone, I get a whole network team to go out and run fibre because I'm not dealing with fucking dropped calls.

Tommy: Oh God. Hey, just a quick life hack. Life hack. I had my wife— my FaceTime was really, really laggy, and I was talking to my brother and he's like, mate, I'm feeling sick. What the fuck's going on with your FaceTime? And I was like, So I, uh, so I closed the app, tried to open it again, didn't work. I connected to Wi-Fi, made sure, tried again, didn't work. Jumped off Wi-Fi, didn't work. Did all the stuff. You got to turn your phone on and off if your Wi-Fi— if your FaceTime's laggy. Yeah, turn it off and turn it back on and it fixes it. Ridiculous.

Josh: I mean, it's like the turning off and on is probably the best tech issues of all time. And it's the thing that, Jess, you struggle with the most is turning off and on your devices. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: And if you're—

Mason: surely just shut it down at nighttime. Shut it down at nighttime, come back, you've got a fresh new computer in the morning.

Tommy: If you're a big tabber like Jess is, you, um, you definitely, uh, sort of opposed to— you're opposed to turning your computer off. And so I've said to Jess, I reckon Jez, how many times have I told you to turn your computer off and on?

Jess: Yeah, well, this week alone, I think 3 times.

Josh: Mic technique, I'm picky with that as well.

Mason: But the, um, uh, I actually sent Grace a text. Actually, I sent Grace a text. I think I was a bit picky on the mic technique as well because she started like coming out here when she was like talking on a hub day. So I sent her a text just being like this.

Josh: Oh, do you know what? There is definitely definitely a new thing that we could actually— we could create the term or the phrase now.

Mason: Here we go.

Josh: What would you describe this? When you are in a video conference call and you message someone, like you have to text them something so they can do it. So, for instance, it's like, like one would be— I keep having these meetings with a guy who he does— actually, this is quite good. It's like a quite a corporate sort of environment, right? I mean, guys obviously getting a little bit sort of comfortable with working from home, and he doesn't realise that if he doesn't mute himself, the audio level goes up and becomes very sensitive. So he talks, right? He's talking, and then he stops talking, then it goes to someone else. And so like the manager's then talking and I'm on the call, this is the client. And then the guy picks up his potato cake in a paper bag. And so you just hear like the crumbling sound of the paper and then you just hear, like it sounds amazing, but it was to the point where, you know, Zoom picks who's talking. It's like it thinks the yellow potato cake is talking. It's great. So that's one. That's like, so I feel like if I was on his team, hey mate, just mute. I can hear, like, we can hear potato cake. I can see it's delicious.

Tommy: It's so, it's the equivalent of a backseat driver, right? Um, it's, it's someone in the back, you know, saying go left, go right. And so it's, you're on the same call and you need to instruct.

Josh: You can't just do it in the chat because you don't want to, like, it's not something that you want to bring everyone's attention to.

Tommy: Well, there's the private chat. Yeah, but it's the act. I guess it's the action you're saying. What's the label for the action?

Josh: What's the label of doing a private chat when you're on a group call? Or so, for instance, another one would be— I could imagine Friday night drinks, uh, the team all having fun, and then you guys see something like, oh, Josh is getting like a little bit too crazy, like, and so people start texting Bri being like, "Hey, I reckon you probably should hide the gym." So, that would be another example.

Tommy: So, I just looked up what is another word for backseat driver and it's come up with noun, a constant critic, right? And then it's given a whole bunch of words. "Zapper" is one, which is the same as a niggler or a cavaler, a— A censorer, a knocker. But what about a zoom zapper?

Josh: Zoom zapper is good. And so a zoom zapper, it's, it's an—

Mason: it's a positive thing though. That's a zap, I guess, away the problem, mate.

Tommy: So, Seb, so is getting told the right directions to get to the cinemas, but it's fucking annoying and it's too controlling, to be honest.

Josh: There's a control freak element to it, definitely.

Jess: Why don't we just call it heads up or something?

Josh: Heads up. Yeah, it doesn't have that. I just would love to, I feel like in this time—

Mason: Coin the term.

Josh: Yeah, it would be lovely to coin a term.

Jess: Lovely.

Josh: Don't you think? No? Lovely?

Tommy: I mean, this is— Okay, so a zapper is the term for a remote control for a television, video, or another piece of electronic equipment. And so, a Zoom zapper. Is somebody who likes to control somebody else's tech from the Zoom call.

Josh: Yes. Yeah, I think that's it. But there's also like, I think I got the idea from One Trick Tony with shunkeling, like to shunkel. To shunkel is to shunkel a bed, like to shunkel a bed sheet. Mace, how would you describe shunkel?

Mason: Yeah, so it's when you're making the bed and you flick up the duvet or the blanket. Yeah, and you shake it out a little bit and make sure all the duvet is flat across the whole thing, and then you can lay it back down.

Josh: Doona?

Mason: No.

Josh: And it's also a tuna.

Tommy: Shonkely.

Josh: Shonkel.

Tommy: It sounds like—

Josh: Are you going, TJ?

Tommy: I was just going to say it sounds like a Jewish term.

Josh: Or maybe German. I could imagine it is—

Mason: It is German, so it's actually in a German song.

Josh: Oh, there you go.

Jess: It's actually a word for it.

Tommy: She didn't just make that up. Well, it's like Jewish community love schmuck. You're a schmuck.

Josh: Mm-hmm. Schtick is Jewish, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, I think so. Schtick.

Mason: There you go.

Josh: Jess, when was the last time you got a new phone?

Jess: Probably 3 years ago.

Josh: You said you like a new, the new phone smell on hump day.

Jess: Yeah.

Josh: I thought that like for someone who loves a new phone smell, you actually, it doesn't happen that much.

Jess: Well, no, I would have gotten a new one, but this one I don't, I pay $40 a month on it. So, and I get 30 gigs and whatever. So yeah, it's paid out. In fact, I didn't even pay it. I didn't even get it on a plan. My dad gave it to me.

Josh: Oh, that's nice.

Jess: Yeah. So I'm hoping, cause he gets heaps of phones through his business. So I'm hoping that I can get a new one soon.

Josh: Great, what do you have? Are they all like tradie style phones, like big brick? So I'm like, yeah, you can—

Jess: Nah, they're all the new ones.

Josh: Okay, I feel like that's a difference. Like, TJ, don't you remember that tradies or anyone that's not even a trade, like just anyone in construction, the big selling point with like the— it's like it should look like the rest of the tools so that there'd be these big yellow, like, yeah, it matches the fucking, um, What's it? Drill, the drills and stuff. Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, you pick it up thinking it's the fucking radio, the boombox, but it's your phone. My dad had one in the car. He had a full car briefcase that you'd have to pull out, open up, pull out the phone. I'm sure your dad, tradie, kind of a tradie, Jess, would have been into that, would have had one of those growing up.

Jess: He used to have thick-ass phones. He still does. The cases are thick, but the tech inside is great.

Mason: Is it the case— so with the ones that you're talking about, Josh, is that still like an iPhone 4 just in a big case?

Josh: Now, so there was a big— before the sort of iPhone smartphone movement, there were just specific— so Nokia, Motorola, they all had like a tradie phone, which was— wasn't a case, it was the whole fucking thing. And it was like, like, it was normally like a bright color. It looked like bright blue.

Tommy: Had one of those. My dad handed it down to me. Loved it. Wasn't a tradie. Never broke it.

Josh: It almost looks like it could be a stud finder.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jess: Possibly.

Tommy: I think that's a good reference, tradie Josh. That's a great reference.

Josh: It is, isn't it? The same size type of thing.

Tommy: It's a real—

Josh: Yeah, yeah. But Jess, if you want this, so how about this? The new phone smell. There was a product, there was a candle that came out that was like the new Apple product smell, and Apple actually went after them and took it down. But how great would that be?

Jess: No, because it's only enjoyable because you're getting this product as well. It's like this brand spanking new product. You're like, you don't want to— I don't care about the candle or the actual smell, rather.

Josh: Seems like you're working at the factory at that point.

Jess: Exactly. I want a new iPad.

Josh: Just all the glue and You want an iPad? Oh yeah, let's talk about this. Let's talk about this. Yeah, yeah, I want an iPad. Yeah, Jess, what do you want about that? What do you like about the iPad?

Jess: I want to get the pen and I want to use Procreate on it.

Tommy: Procreate? You want to start procreating?

Jess: Just anything. I could just draw anything. I could take notes instead of like having my notepad here. I could use my iPad and take notes. Or, um, yeah, draw pictures on Procreate or do my calligraphy on Procreate. Or I was gonna say, um, reading, but I probably wouldn't. I'd keep my Kindle for that.

Josh: But you could highlight— like, you slammed me about the index card stuff, but the— what you're describing, like, that's the rabbit hole that I'm currently down. So I'm going so hard at the moment using my current iPad for everything because I know in like 6 weeks' time when I'm ready for an iPad Pro, the first question Bri is going to bring up is like, what happened to your other iPad? And so I just need to fucking use it and show how much I love it. I'm doing FaceTiming with Sev's on it. I have it set up on a thing, Monopoly, using it for that.

Tommy: What, what age is your iPad? Is it the old charging port?

Josh: No, no, it's a, um, it would be 2016. It's like the iPad 2, I think is what it's called, but it won't work with a, um, A pen. The pen is the thing that we want, Jess.

Jess: Yeah. Oh no, I also don't like the button on the bottom.

Josh: What was that, Jess?

Mason: You want the button on the bottom?

Jess: No, I don't want the button on the bottom. You want the one where you can swipe up. Yeah.

Tommy: Well, Trump wants the one with the button. So—

Josh: Really? What do you mean?

Tommy: Trump hates the swipe up. He tweeted recently just like— It literally was like— It was a comparison. It's like, look at what the fucking Trump's tweeting versus Joe Biden. And Trump's was like, Tim, you know, message to Tim Cook, um, the button, the swipe up's no good, bring the button back.

Josh: Yeah, because of his mask, when he wears his mask he can't open.

Mason: October 26, 2019, to Tim, the button on the iPhone was far better than the swipe, exclamation mark.

Josh: You know what, he's on to something because the, um, how annoying is it now with masks trying to unlock your phone.

Jess: Bad time.

Tommy: Yeah. Oh yeah, I have been using my— I mean, for you, JJ, you don't go out, so it's all good. But it is fucking annoying that you are. Well, no, it's actually causing people to do the pull-down and get— like, I've done that a few times and then I'm like, fuck, I might as well just start using the pin.

Josh: I thought you're gonna say, may as well fucking not wear this mask.

Jess: Hey JJ, how are you feeling?

Josh: Uh, well, because I went out once, but also now I've been sick and I'm, I'm sick. So no, I've— Tommy, uh, got me some orange juice, um, for as part of the Fat Friday thing, and so I've smashed that.

Tommy: You had the whole thing?

Mason: Yeah, bit of vitamins.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. No, I've had like, I, I, 3/4, I've given them—

Mason: was it Leo's?

Josh: No, it was the, um, uh, from Coles local.

Tommy: And so it was the freshly squeezed machine, so I pulled the lever and it starts dropping the oranges in. Was it, was it, um, wasn't sour or wasn't like a—

Josh: no, it was nice really well. And I had it like just like, oh, but yeah, my sinuses— oh sorry, not my sinuses, but the glands are very big glands. But I'm, I'm shocking when it comes to being sick because I just fucking— I can't help but talk about it. Like, I'm— can't help but like mention it to like clients, like, yeah, I'm sick, but don't worry about me. Like, it's not COVID, but I'll be okay. But yes, I am sick. Sick.

Tommy: Like, would you say you're a guy— because back in the day you'd go to work and be sick. You can't do that shit now. Would have you been one at Envato when you worked there to be walking around the office saying, mate, I don't feel good?

Josh: Well, no. So the thing with Envato is, but this is what happens when you can, uh, work from anywhere, you don't end up taking sick days. It just doesn't happen because sick days, for the most part, unless you are really fucked up or like mental health type stuff. You can work if you had fucking sniffles. You can do your job fine. It's just being around people. And so working from home, I reckon over 2 and a half years, maybe— it's a classic thing of I probably took one sick day for like the first like for 2 years, 4 months, and then the final 2 months once you're fucking sort of getting your shit together, you all of a sudden get a bit more sick. It's like 4 days or whatever, but, um, mental health stuff. But, um, you know, I think, yeah, I mean, what do you— Jesse, I feel like you'd be someone to rock up at a, at an office fucking sneezing on everyone.

Jess: You're mad.

Josh: Yes.

Jess: Um, yeah, for sure. I'm not one to take it because the thing is when you're actually sick, it's always at an inconvenient time. It's never at the time when you're actually quiet and you feel like you can take a day off. It's always because you have to go in and get it done. JJ, one of the things I thought was interesting that you said on the phone yesterday, one of your symptoms of being sick. Do you want to explain it to the other guys?

Josh: No, what? My crusty, like inside my nose being crusty?

Jess: He showed me inside his nose.

Tommy: The ferret.

Josh: Oh, ferret. You're a ferret. Maybe we could do a kids book together, Jess, the ferret.

Tommy: The mole and the ferret.

Josh: There's a great book, one of my favourite books I give. I wonder if I've given it to Bodhi yet, The Little Mole and the Horse.

Tommy: No, because you've still got his Animals with, you know, Bizarre Animals That Are Friends with Humans book.

Josh: Oh, that's right. Oh yeah, that's not his, that's mine. But you can borrow it. Um, no, The Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business. Favorite book as a kid. Mole— a little mole gets shat on by an animal, and it is the mole's job to go around and speak to all the different animals and compare shit and says, hey, like, does this look like this? So I don't know why.

Jess: Oh yeah, it's because that book about me.

Josh: No, it's not. It's not about you, but it's, it's definitely, um It's a favorite. But no, so Jess was saying that she thought you think that I'm too graphic in talking about my symptoms.

Jess: Well, yeah, you showed me up your nose, but I thought one of the funny symptoms was that you couldn't think of a word and then you blamed it on being sick.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. No, I couldn't. I literally, like, I was a bit foggy. I was trying to come up with a word. It was fucking pissing me off. I was trying to work out like, you know, when it's, you've got it and it's like, yeah, on the tip of your tongue. Yeah, I'll give you a, um, TJ, I'll say what I was saying to Jess.

Mason: Okay.

Josh: And then you tell me if you can work it out.

Jess: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, I'm panicking. I'll probably not get it.

Josh: Oh, it's like the joy of like watching people, like, you know, they say like—

Tommy: Precarious.

Josh: No, like it's sort of, it's That's what Jess said. No, it's like, um, like you watch Big Brother and voyeurism. Yes, yes, yeah.

Jess: But the thing is, he's got the definition wrong because voyeurism is, um, watching someone on, like, sexually undressed and that kind of thing through a window, which is—

Josh: which I didn't realize. Did you? I was sorry, what I said to Jess, because I was like, I— one of my favourite things about Jess is that she, like, she always leaves her live photos on when she sends them through the messages. And you can bet that every single time I'm like clicking and holding to like see like what's happening in the background or like, doesn't everyone do that?

Tommy: Well, I've worked out that that's what people do. And so I'll always, sometimes I leave a little nugget in there. Go fuck yourself. Like you just say it. So I sometimes do that when I'm sending it. It's like, piss off, Josh. And you just do it as you take the photo.

Josh: Well, I actually had to delete one of your— TJ sent me such a disgusting photo on iMessage that it was making me feel sick. And so I had to delete it off my phone. It wasn't actually— that wasn't yours, was it, Tej?

Tommy: No, I said to Josh, I'm going to the toilet. And then I sent him a photo of a Google image that I searched and found that said it was like ginormous poo. And it was the size of a forearm.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And then I sent that through to Josh.

Josh: And just made me sick. It was like one of the first things that I've actually ever just like edit, delete messages. I don't delete messages, but it was just making me feel sick.

Tommy: It was worth the delete.

Josh: But Jess, you actually, you did say that you were, that you thought it would be a good game where we could say the definition or something and then say the word. Have you done any research or do you want to do this for the first time?

Jess: I've got 5 words for you.

Josh: Okay, great. So, you're going to give us the description and then based on the description, it's like a reverse dictionary.

Mason: I love it.

Jess: Okay. First one. Are you all going to play? You're going to play Mason, TJ?

Tommy: Buzzers our name. Buzzers our name.

Josh: So, that's a bit of feedback, Mason. Name buzzers, very common, easy sort of game show. Tool, you didn't use it with Hump Day. You're like, how are we going to do that? I guess Jess and Basil can both just say the answer. Like, it was very painful hearing that bit. Just Basil can just be their name.

Jess: Okay, gosh, save it for his review.

Josh: Okay, no, this is the review.

Tommy: Okay, this is the show about the show about the show.

Jess: Okay. Noisy and lacking in restraint or discipline.

Josh: Josh Mould. Noisy.

Tommy: I've got it. Tommy.

Mason: Go.

Tommy: Obnoxious.

Jess: Good guess, but no.

Mason: Oh.

Josh: All right, let's go to the next one and then at the end—

Mason: I mean, that fits into a lot of things.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, well, Mason, you have a crack because we—

Mason: Josh, well, mine's awful. It's just literally— that's like disrespectful. Like, it's not—

Josh: say your name, Mason.

Mason: Disrespectful.

Jess: No, disrespectful doesn't mean noisy and lacking.

Mason: If you're noisy, you're disrespectful, and you don't have discipline and restraint, that's disrespectful attitude.

Jess: All right, next one. Fear of foreigners or strangers.

Josh: Josh, xenophobic.

Jess: Yeah, well done.

Josh: Thank you.

Tommy: Good one.

Jess: Okay, next one is—

Josh: I have to really read the chosen one.

Jess: Wait, you've got to get all 5 if we can give yourself a clap. Okay, not sensible about practical matters.

Josh: Josh, unreasonable.

Tommy: No.

Josh: Don't say yep, just—

Mason: Not sensible. Mason. Irrational. No.

Tommy: Not sensible about— Say it again. Not sensible about—

Jess: Practical matters.

Tommy: Mole.

Jess: I thought you were saying your name is Mole.

Tommy: Yeah, go for it.

Jess: Next one. Someone who dislikes people in general.

Josh: Josh.

Tommy: Josh.

Mason: Josh.

Josh: Josh.

Jess: Hater.

Josh: Yeah, no, something like a Josh humanphobic. It's not that though.

Tommy: Someone who hates people in general. Say it again, hates.

Jess: Someone who dislikes people in general.

Josh: Josh hermit.

Tommy: No.

Jess: Guys, I've not gone for common words. Grueklues. No.

Tommy: No, because that's the descriptive word of that.

Jess: Casual, so sick. You okay?

Tommy: No, I think— This is—

Josh: Oh yeah, because I see what you did there.

Tommy: This is hard.

Jess: Yeah, the words are hard.

Tommy: So, okay, so are you— So we're not sick, you're fucking sick.

Mason: There are a lot of words.

Josh: The xenophobic one. Are you impressed how quickly I got that?

Tommy: That was pretty easy, actually.

Jess: It was actually xenophobia. I gave it.

Tommy: So can you just give us the first letter of this word?

Josh: On the— Wait, should we go back to the first?

Jess: I've got one more word and then you want to go back. All right.

Tommy: Okay.

Jess: One more is lacking interest or significance or impact. Tommy.

Josh: Irrelevant.

Jess: And then I need us all to use these words in a sentence this week, by the way.

Josh: Indifferent.

Jess: No.

Josh: No. So they're bigger. They're sort of medium words.

Tommy: Yeah, they've gone hard. This is hard.

Josh: Okay, Jess.

Jess: The first one you should have got.

Josh: Okay. Do the first one again.

Jess: Noisy and lacking in restraint or discipline.

Josh: Gronk.

Tommy: Rambunctious.

Josh: Yes. Oh, that's— was it done?

Mason: That was great. That's in a song, isn't it?

Tommy: Oh mate, sorry, if that's not better than your xenophobia.

Jess: That was really good. Well done.

Mason: Did you—

Tommy: rambunctious.

Josh: You didn't search that, did you?

Tommy: No, I swear to God. There's, um, there's a, there's a song where he says, uh, it's It's literally the opening. It's like, um, noisy and rambunctious. It's like, I'd never fucking use that word ever. It's just in a rap song.

Josh: Is it that song?

Mason: No, what is it?

Tommy: It's, um, what's his name?

Mason: Yeah, I know that song. Uh, I think it's Rowdy and Rambunctious.

Josh: Becky, look at her back.

Tommy: No, that's a throwback to the '80s.

Mason: Joanna Lucas, Isis.

Josh: Oh yeah, so we got xenophobic.

Jess: Yep. So then the— yep. And then so the next one was not sensible about practical matters.

Josh: Yeah, what is it? You tell us.

Tommy: First letter.

Josh: Quixotic.

Jess: Yeah, quixotic.

Josh: Quixotic. That's right.

Mason: I've never heard that word.

Josh: Yeah, okay.

Tommy: Is that Joe Exotic's cousin?

Jess: Did you see that meme where, um, it's like 6 months since, um, Joe Exotic came about.

Josh: Yeah. Or would you see the Macaulay Culkin one? Yeah, I'm 40.

Tommy: Fuck, he's 40.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Mason: Oh man, it'd be such an annoying drug addiction.

Josh: He looks great for 40. He's gone through a lot. You don't think?

Jess: Does he?

Tommy: Um, there's a few other people I go to saying look great for their age over Macaulay Culkin.

Josh: I think Macaulay looks great. I think he could He could do Home Alone 4 and you wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Tommy: And it was a year between.

Josh: Why is that man in the house? Yeah, go on, Jess.

Mason: He still looks like a baby, doesn't he?

Josh: Yeah, see?

Mason: Huge baby.

Josh: I think it's the denim jacket he wears.

Jess: Okay, so next one was someone who likes people in general. My Siri's going off.

Mason: Was it likes or dislikes?

Tommy: Dislikes.

Jess: Sorry, dislikes people in general.

Josh: What is that? Something phobic?

Jess: Misanthrope.

Tommy: Oh, mate. Misanthrope.

Josh: I'm going to put that on my Insta bio. Misanthrope.

Tommy: Yeah. Wow.

Jess: And yeah, this was very somewhat targeted at you, Josh. And then the next one is lacking interest or significance or importance. Not this one, the last one.

Tommy: Oh, statusless.

Josh: What is it? Lacking significance or importance.

Jess: Peasant.

Josh: Oh yeah, peasant. Yeah, peasant's a good one. No? What is it?

Mason: Peasant is a great guess.

Josh: Jeune. Okay.

Mason: Real French, isn't it?

Josh: Je ne sais quoi.

Tommy: Well, Josh, I'm glad that we can say we got one. Mason, you're losing.

Josh: But there's still one more. There's still the final one.

Tommy: Okay, then this is Mason's.

Josh: Was that the one that was like me?

Jess: Yeah, no, you were misanthrope.

Josh: Misanthrope, okay.

Tommy: Misanthrope, yeah.

Josh: Well, it's a daily talk show. Jess, thank you for joining us.

Tommy: Mason, fun game.

Josh: Yeah, that was a really fun game. I did want to ask you about your boyfriend whose name was bigfeet@hotmail.com, but we can leave that for another time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, thank you, Mason, as well. It's Weekend Banter. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday, and we'll see you tomorrow. Have a good one, guys.

Jess: See you guys.