#810 – Projecting Emotional States/
- August 3, 2020
We chat about Tommy’s DIY haircut and trip to Westfield, medical trials and dangerous jobs, a big trip to Maccas, and feeling responsible for others on social media.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– A moment in time
– Tommy’s trip to Westfield
– Medical trials and dangerous jobs
– A big trip for Maccas
– Feeling responsible
– Social media and projecting
– Being accessible
Email us: hi@bigmediacompany.com.au
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
Episode Tags
0:04
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 110. Happy Monday gronk. What's happening? What's going on? How you doing TJ with the so yesterday, we did the show before there were the announcements in Victoria. How are you feeling? Nice announcement? Yeah, yeah, I mean, one thing I've sort of, I wanted, I was at walking yesterday, Saturday afternoon went for a beautiful walk, just in our units, the rolls. It was
0:33
afternoon sun. It was one of the best weekend's I reckon weather wise we've had in in four months. It's beautiful. And I really wanted to go and take a photo.
0:43
Because there's like, I walk along the highway but there's that like a B wall sort of is a sound barricade between the houses and the highway. And you can see just over the wall, there's one of these signs that it's a digital sign that they give updates for people driving on the highway
1:00
And, and I and I just thought that sort of the picture of or thinking about think to the future 40 years from now, a photo of a sign that says
1:12
you know, get a good test. Yeah, get tested stay home, I thought this like, it's like that would be like that would be iconic like thinking back the chain that the signs have since changed so I can't get the photo that I wanted. But the new sign says, curfew has something like 8pm curfew, which is the new rule that's coming. I PM, you're gonna be in your house, there's no one out and they've locked it down because stage four restrictions have been put into place in Victoria. But I mean, yeah, I mean, not much has changed. We've been home so well, is that the same thing reminds me of when I was when the first wave happened. And we went into lockdown I did alone outside which was a series I did on instinct.
2:00
GRAEME and I woke up early every morning. And I took photos and it was that balance of I wanted to capture people outside on their own. Yeah, that's the one of the main things. But then it was very tempting to have the shots of the playgrounds with all of the rope around them and things like that. It does feel like when you're in it, it does feel like we'll look back. It almost feels a little bit like a 911. Remember when 911 happened? It's like the seize a moment that changed the world forever. To get about say, I mean, yeah, definitely that but the photos weren't feel like that for 20 years. I think that's when you'd release it of now. And so if you if you It's like the person I'm so impressed, that takes a photo of themselves every day for 10 years. I mean, that's just a Narcissus, but the ones that do it for doing this far, you know, the stop motion, where they're growing, they like evolving their faces changing. It's like that's that's for saying something
3:00
The future So, I mean, that's why Google Photos now I've just got thousands in there. Hopefully I'll be able to look back in 1015 years be like, oh, wow, remember that time. So it's this in some ways. It's a very interesting social experiment. It does remind me a little bit of the Netflix documentary that we watched three identical strangers now Yeah, I don't know if the problem is that I don't know if you can talk about it without revealing a bunch of spoilers. Now you actually can't it's you just have to watch it. I mean, it's in the title, obviously three identical strangers. To me, you watch to try you know, I have a pet peeve though. Netflix. You know how this trial is they're not the trailers that were made for the movies. As in for when a film was released in the cinema. It can sometimes be like a trailer that sort of just, I don't know, they must have cut it together. Like saying just like a couple of things Chuck together. I watched this trailer and I was like, sorry, I don't need to watch it.
4:00
Many more because you just fucking gave me the whole thing in two minutes. like legit play by play. And then you watch you like, yeah, I knew that.
4:12
I mean, the premise. I like the, like understanding the premise of something someone's being taken. They're trying to find that person, whatever. But you're striving to free. Yeah, very easy. He got taken. guy went after them. killed everyone. That's, that's all you need to know. And if you love those things, love it. And so I watched, I watched big over the weekend, which wasn't on Netflix, we're getting into the
4:39
we've gone into the ISO period where we're like, Fuck, we actually need to
4:44
look beyond standard beyond Netflix beyond all of that other stuff and just treat yourself even though you're paying fucking a lot in subscriptions, you still managed to think about the movie that you want to watch. That's not yet part of any of them. I mean, there's plenty you're
5:00
Big Tom Hanks I said you get to watch Sleepless in Seattle real TJ but sort of makes you feel good as well. Sort of love story. But these are some old These are 32 year old big was made in 88 really well the thing with a fucked up film that you think I haven't seen big st slips in Seattle well so there's like a relation like classic to essentially there's a relationship that goes on and they're making out and she doesn't know that it's the boy like the fucking 13 year old boy who's grown up it's a bit it's a bit perverted
5:38
anytime that yes yesterday when one sort of site that sort of is quite startling is going to something like a shop or Doncaster shopping centre, huge one of the biggest in Melbourne and you see this absolutely it's like this fuck all people. They're really I was expecting there was lines or whatever people
6:00
Yeah, at the supermarket but supermarket that was in general, but just seeing the dorm and fucking nothing there, the Apple Store they've removed every product off the shelves and so really a store full of tables. And they've literally dismantled all of the phones that are on display like that and just left it all out. Do you know how much those tables cost? The tables at the Apple Stores? Yeah, I know the big pizza the big pieces of it. Yes, I can ginormous. I mean, if I was just to throw a number I can like 4k a table. You could easily spend full count a big table. Now you've got you've unbanked and underbanked it Yeah, really? Yeah. How much other they're custom made in Canada. And from a special wooden they cost 10 grand apiece. 10 grand a pop? Yeah. And so I reckon there's 369 to 115 tables in the one dog after there's a lot a lot of hundred and 50
7:01
50 k times. I mean, they are the the most wealthy county hang on I actually this is it's a fun thing because now funk depends who you are
7:11
who you're reading because now I'm reading another one that says $80,000. So this is on Reddit and we know that only good things. legit info comes from Reddit.
7:23
So the cement bricks that outlined the stores are handcrafted from Germany each wooden table. The ones for Genius Bar and iphone, apple watch iPad now costs 80,000 per table. Oh, I thought it was I'd heard 30 grand. They're crazy because I've got all these like dumb, special features of like being able to like they've got a cash register built into some of them. Have you seen that? where it's like, yeah, the Genius Bar at the back fish or Yeah, like they're easily received? Oh, yeah, well, so anyway, I went to yesterday. I mean, we're all trying to save a few bucks.
8:00
We've also taken a hit to the hip pocket in terms of, you know, work and revenue and wages and so I thought ah you know $15 haircut for birdie I can do it myself. I can do it myself. And I'm not like a shaver. It's not the it's not the beard trimmer that you used on your head, the new fact get a new one. It's a legit, but it's old. So legit head shaver and so I use it for my beard. Because my beard is the thickness of someone's hair on their head. That's what I need to
8:36
have the little lamb the bottles of oil because I never know what to actually do with those little oil bottles. Yeah, yeah, it's got the ball of Oh, and you're just meant to like when it's off, just run it once across, across the blade, and then turn it on, and it just lubes up the blades. Anyway, I got Bodhi downstairs, got him onto his little little chair and we put like a little cute
9:00
Have throw over him. So it looked like he was at the at the barber shop. And I got stuck into it. He lost his shit. And so I had to give him my phone, which meant he was like, had my phone in his hand with his head looking down. So it's not ideal. It's like you want to Ababa, her hair dress, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. So you got that nice, you know, the sort of symmetry they're trying to sort of cut it all properly. I got into it. And I regretted that as I shaved one side of his head off. So it's like, he literally just had like, one side was a two and it sort of blended back into a mullet at the back. I mean, this is too dissimilar to what happened with me. Yes. So do you have a little bit more empathy for what happened like you trying to do the right thing you don't have to go to the hairdresser. Well, I I committed and so I had to keep going. I had the scissors. I had everything going and I ended up getting as far as shaving the back the cell
10:00
And try and do a little bit of a you know trying to sort of try
10:07
to avoid it looks like an absolute ghost. And so what have you done?
10:13
Have you thought?
10:15
Hence why were you enter Doncaster shopping centre to go to just cats do not know exactly how much to buy at least give you a deal Surely you've done half the work. I mean it cost 22 bucks in our Really? This is so annoying max. Well you asked off though at the time. Oh, I felt I felt cute.
10:38
Like I just I really could see wearing a hat or a beanie or something going to the shop this is the thing you can adjust me I just really whacked the head on yeah for six months Yeah, hey is a child that didn't give a shit about his hair in the first place literally was more interested in the phone and what that had to offer them what I was doing to his head. And so I felt funny for
11:00
him but then I was like, This kid doesn't even feel anything. Yeah. How funny is it that we totally identify with what our hair looks like. And it's part of our fucking identity even maybe it's very much a jacket identity thing, right? You got great hair. Well, when people tell you you have amazing hair, you walk into an office, I will have walked into the bastion who we had Fergus watsu. See, Bastion, I was up in Sydney at the head office, Sebastian walked in with Jackie's brother who's, you know, on, you know, one of the owners and he's like, Tommy jacket best here in the business. Welcome. I mean, that does a lot to you.
11:40
Anyway, we, the lady said to me, she said, Oh, not bad. Good try. Good try, but I'm glad you've come into Let us fix it up. And so he walked out. He walked out. He walked in as an eight out of 10. He walked out as a 15 out of 10. That kid is an absolute he looks so good.
12:00
The shop is hey cat in Blaine. And I even like fuck it, like so that you left enough for them to be able to fix it.
12:07
I yeah, I mean, what they gave him was what I was trying to do, but I got it. I basically say that I'm the guy who dug the hole for the pool and then the pool builders came and installed the poll you listen.
12:20
He looks in the chat. But now he is happy as Larry and he's looking a million bucks. What's going on? I was thinking about experiments. So you know, if you watch this, three identical
12:35
strangers you'll you'll think about, you know, experiments and things like that. Yeah. And then also everything that's happening at the moment with vaccines, people going into trials with these things. I read a book called Rebel Without a crew. And
12:54
it's about a filmmaker and what he does to try and get these films made and he was
13:00
It's Rodriguez, the director, and he was talking about doing all of these medical things like trials to make cash. So he could use that money to make films. Yeah. And so what I've never done back in it all back there is like, do you want to be a part of this study you can be paid to? And yeah, I've always thought Fuck, who are they relying on desperate uni students that have no time to work but couldn't dedicate four hours on a Saturday to be injected. I don't know what I don't know, personally, anyone who's done clinical trials of anything. But there's a bunch of people who like that's their shtick, they just go with clinical trials, a clinical trial. Apparently there's ones around like I'm sleeping like if there's a bit of sleep deprivation involved. I remember hearing one where it's like, you have to sleep at a university and then they wake you up every half an hour or whatever. And that's obviously get more cash for that.
14:00
How many times you get woken up you get cash? Yeah. It's interesting like I wonder what would you What would you do from a medical trial perspective for a bit of cash
14:12
might not much real much No, no not No, no. No I mean Yeah, I guess so what so the the people we deem is desperate that help
14:24
pave the way for technology and and medic medical research, like Shannon's arounds, shout out to rats. I mean, this is why they run so well. You bring it to the first COVID-19 trials like these are already underway. There's thousands of people being injected with something. How do you like
14:48
you could say that the people that are desperate that needs something and are willing to take it, but there's also people that aren't desperate and they still do it. I mean, absolute here that they don't these people don't get
15:00
Enough, there should be some sort of like page where it's like things that have really sort of come off. Like heroes they get awards, like a one to ones that have gone bad how many people have died through clinical testing deaths? To to sonicwall. You reckon? Surely like from an ethical perspective, they can't they, they're only trialling at a clinical trial volunteers died in four years. And he,
15:28
at least 1000 people who took took part in clinical trials over the past four years, at least 1000 people who took part in the clinical trial over the past four years have died. And 88 of these deaths were caused by direct side effects of trials. The health ministry told the UN no way this is Russia last week, so this must be trying to say we're about to Mumbai. I was in India
16:00
mean that's pretty
16:03
anything that has a death right to it is a bit fucked. But I mean, these people are putting themselves forward to hopefully have changed. I mean, wouldn't you be like I just I just desperate on debt? Yeah, so desperate for cash is one thing but then I guess if you're only if there's money involved, I don't think yeah, maybe not. Maybe they're not all going this could help change the world. This is like I need eight. That's it's sad, isn't it? I mean, I always think about the mindset you'd need to want to go to war. And you see people with families that decide to go over and serve one side you've got,
16:46
I mean, this is helping our country. These are the people that are protecting us, all of that. The other side, you've got a family and your wife, your husband, he's just stressed out of their mind. Always. Right there.
17:00
Personally, like I fall in the category of Absolutely not. I couldn't do it to myself and my family. But that's not to say that the people that do it a selfish or anything, anything it's like, that has the personal sacrifice stuff, right. Like, that's what like I think the servicemen and women in the US it's a big thing. Like it's a which, which I think makes makes sense. I think that for me.
17:27
Yeah, like it's a hard one to reconcile. But I guess, like someone has to do it, right. Like, we do need people to be able to do this sort of stuff. Like, what would it look like if we're all like, we're not going to have any military? Of course, and then it is what is a masterpiece device? Yeah, it's a belief system, though. That has to be different to someone like me, like, you know, he people. Okay. I've seen people just sort of talking about this before. It's like, no, it was their calling. They felt they needed to do it. It's like
18:00
If this stuff is your mind, and your belief system in play, where maybe part of it is that you are
18:08
the likelihood of dying in combat or whatever is low, maybe that's part of it. So it's like if you knew that if, if you knew that you were going to die serving your country, I wonder what the likelihood like so if you're going like, Kamikaze or whatever it was where it's like your job is to fucking die. Like what the, the rate of, you know, people signing up with a sign. So I mean, people are still signing up a bunch of mates in the military, but then people see it as like from a lifestyle perspective, cuz that's what I wonder, right? Like it's, um, and that's where maybe I don't connect enough to the personal sacrifice. And I always think of like, yeah, that's like a career. It's like, Oh, this is fucking, I get to work out all the time. I get to try and I get to be focused, I get to do all of these sorts of things. And just like working in
19:00
Mines or other dangerous jobs, there's a risk and reward associated with it. Yeah, I mean, I've got a young mate who my energy above me that's
19:13
that served and he lost a few friends like, you know, right next to him. And he told me that he was young and angry when he wanted to get into it. He wanted to fucking get over there and fight. And so I mean that that is a mindset that would serve you coping with it. But besides the right mindset, but I could imagine that is one that's quite consistent across the board, young 20 year olds that just want to get out there and fight or they just want to, you know, serve the country. I mean, it's also in the family thing. So my grandfather served in World War Two, but he back in the day, remember when people would fake their age based on wanting to serve? So that was that's culturally a different thing back then. I mean, you
20:00
could look at it now. You could either say were softer now because there's so many more people like you and I Josh. iPads. No.
20:07
Yeah, yeah, all my fingers this
20:10
and that, but then there's the other side of it that people want to put their cells in the front line to protect the country. I mean, patriotism in this country isn't is isn't as prominent as the US. Hmm. It seems like there's you know, people wanting to protect the us more than this country would you say? Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's definitely
20:35
grown out with it. So if anything now it's like, patriotism for Australia is seen as regressive or something I don't know. It's like Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, it's saying it's saying is like, um,
20:50
what is it like not open minded? Potentially you're, yeah, it's it's interesting. regressive is like, an interesting way of describing it because like, what's because yeah, there are
21:00
There are a bunch of
21:02
Yeah, I mean that's how it's sorted like it feels like it can be a bit there's a bit of dogma to it maybe so it's like you only see these things a certain way and so your
21:12
your life and your experience and your worldview is coloured by patriotism or nationalism or these types of things which then how can you have empathy for say and the stuff that's like with Mexico like it makes a lot of sense to build a wall when you are thinking that you're number one then like you need to protect it at any cost huh? Okay bad yeah.
21:41
In something a little bit
21:43
more absurd. Did you hear the was described as a polling Melbourne person find after driving 320 kilometres for Big Mac
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shrieking they legit got pulled over and said, I'm just on my way to Mac is, in fact what Dongha where it was
22:00
wangaratta I feel like this is a great marketing ploy. I'm not saying that McDonald's
22:09
you can hypothesise about you can't hypothesise with anything because everything everyone takes everything literally. But the not saying McDonald's did that. Bash. Imagine like a Red Rooster. Maybe Red Rooster could potentially set up a situation where they get someone to travel very far. So for instance, it could be going to or like maybe there's, for instance, what about what about Rami? What's Ramiz? restaurant code? Ah.
22:44
I've got one plant. We had Rami on the show.
22:47
It was cold. It is still is cold. I'm just trying to have a look.
22:53
Russia sky rush is Yeah. So I reckon Rami, for instance, being a restaurant owner like whatever
23:00
About how you get someone like us to go to the border of New South Wales and say that we're just really craving Russia, which is only in New South Wales. Yeah. Yeah.
23:14
I mean, it's a marketing technique. Yeah. I guess you so you What's the extent of the fine, it's a, it's a $10,000 fine or low end 1650 or they tell you to turn around and go home right now. It'd be up to 10,000 area, like they have a stupid gronk I mean, this is the thing, the trade so people who strike or say Vitali, who, who is a YouTuber, he actually went to Brazil to the World Cup, he paid for a ticket. And he scraped ran out on the field because he knew the clout and the fine that would come out of that. But I mean, that's it that's going okay, I'm up for a fine and I'm probably making money from this.
24:00
video on YouTube. And so I'm gonna wear the cost of it, which is I mean a punt, but it's like just a budget for a video isn't it? It's just sit at the budget flights accommodation and fine. I mean, the funny thing is that so there'll be people slamming this person and there's been you know, the i don't i don't agree with what's happening at the moment with like, I went unused Comdata you and they had the two girls, the photos of them who went to Queensland or whatever there is that sense of
24:33
publicly shut like I think that we are promoting the the publicly shaming of public shaming of people as a mechanism to get people to do the right thing.
24:46
But I just wonder whether it is extremely destructive to just public, the public if you think about like mental health, I feel like this is overarching mental health. So there's like your individual mental
25:00
ill health. And then there's like the health of the public as a whole. And I feel like some of these things that are happening right now, the
25:09
Yeah, like the the anger and the like the the unwillingness, I guess to understand is very strong at the moment because everyone's just saying their personal situation and they're saying, okay, based on what I have what I've done what, like the sacrifices that I've made
25:27
that, you know, they're judging people based on that we're not really clear, like, we don't know everyone's circumstance.
25:35
I mean, shame is a powerful, powerful emotion. And one that
25:41
I don't think should be just thrown on to people or just used as some leverage against an individual. I mean, there's one thing I mean, this is just moral, the moral dilemmas and watching three identical strangers. I felt this torn moral. It was
26:00
moral dilemma is the perfect, perfect explanation of it. It's like, when you watch it, you'll know but very even this, it's like someone doing the wrong thing clearly breaking the law, when they knew it wasn't deceptive. And then the other side of like using them as the example which is bringing a heap of shame to an individual. And when we don't want individual like, I don't think as a society, it's like what is it go to what we don't want people to just be walking around feeling shame all the time about that. Do you think that there is? Shame is the thing like I feel like the the interactions that I've had with people.
26:42
Lately, there's been so much shame in everything, whether it's like, how they're feeling or what they're projecting, or it's like there's a, there's a level of them. Maybe,
26:55
maybe everyone thinks that everyone should be holding everyone else to account. We certainly
27:00
So like there is this, this external looking thing where it's like, let's say what everyone else because everyone's in their cocoon, then looking outwards and making judgement calls on everyone else.
27:14
Yeah. Do you feel like what do you mean? Like, what is the tone? Like if you were to, it's very hard because we're in it. But what is what's the tone right now? Specifically, in Victoria, do you think
27:29
the tone of individuals across the board so I think it's like the public sentiment, public tone, but then look at it. Like what sort of conversations What have you learned from the conversations that you're having with people at the moment? Yeah, yeah. Anger, blame,
27:47
and out of control, which I mean, I was just looking at what shame sort of shame associated with feelings of withdrawal motivations and feelings of distress exposure, mistrust.
28:00
powerlessness worthlessness like powerlessness is one. Not that you feel like you could look at you day and having the power to make decisions on how to shape your day. And a lot of these, a lot of these powers have been taken away from us. We can't decide to go out after right. And so, from conversations I've had, there's been anger, there's been all of these things. I mean, we spoke about last week, which is funny because it's probably more relevant this week and controlling your controllables the woman, I think we're really going to get a good understanding of that now, because the benefit of the anger, anger is so disempowering it. I don't think power is within anger, especially when you can't channel it to something. You know, you could say a fighter who channels he's anger into the ring is when it really is put to good use, but it's still a powerful
29:00
highly emotive emotion like it's controlling and so how can you drop back that's where I'm you know, that's where I yeah, I've had some conversations where people are very frustrated
29:12
and so there's always and so there's that saying where it's like misery loves company where does if you were to take that misery loves company and apply it to what's happening now does it resonate? Or do you think that there's
29:30
there's something in that
29:32
I mean, it's just if you've got something in common in common could be that you are angry and so then to people that are angry about the situation, but to two people angry like is what I wonder is it's like two angry people. It doesn't like cancel it out and mainly attack it. You just like double the anger. No, I know. Yeah. I don't know if it leads anywhere or brings any, any solution to anything. And so and so then like, I wonder the
30:01
Part of for me, I'm like, like no disrespect to to anyone but I don't know if I'm willing to enter in to it. Like I'm not. I don't know, like, I think I'm past the stage of
30:16
entering new to the anger because like I think that it's almost you feel like you need to so you hear hearing someone being distressed about something and you're trying to empathise or trying to understand. But then there's also the reality of like, if you're not feeling that
30:34
how do you sort of protect where you're sitting emotionally so that you don't enter into that world? I mean, anger is a coping mechanism. That that is, you know, it could be produced instantly as a response and you can you couldn't even catch it, and you don't even realise it. And then you just in the middle of us, or it could be like, I've had a lot of anger in my life, I think when I was younger, as it
31:00
as a coping mechanism,
31:02
but then so if you have someone like i don't think i don't think you're I don't you go, you don't get anger in the traditional sense. You blow up but I don't think anger is your like a coping mechanism of yours. And so, well, maybe conversation between someone like you and someone who's angry is not good for either parties. Yeah, the angry person isn't getting anything from you and they're still feeling that feeling and then you're feeling a different one. And so, yeah, I mean, this is think about that as a as a as it, you know, as a concept of two people with these kind of feelings in this time, these there's going to be so many clashes, and some people are going to be walking out of their day thinking, fuck, I had the worst interaction with blah, blah, blah. And so what about like if he didn't enter it, so what I'm like it. I think that one thing that maybe a lot of people can relate to is it's like, have you had a conversation and
32:00
Last week, where a person came to you with a certain emotion, a certain feeling. And you felt in that moment that you either needed to enter into it and you probably think that that's like the default is it's like someone comes to you. So say if you're in a car, and someone like holds down their horn, that makes you think they've transferred a feeling that they have over to you and then you have some sort of response. You have it like an act like if someone fucking holding their horn down, I can't help but have a feeling. And so how do we make how do we have empathy for people, but also not allow their emotional situation? Sort of rub off onto us? Yeah, I think it's a it's a challenge. It's a it's a level of awareness that it's hard to, to get to like
32:59
because you
33:00
The the the emotion will arise, it will be the reaction I think it's very far down the line where you've got to a point where you've removed the emotional response because I think we are going to have emotional responses you fucking break something up Iran you know drop a glass and it's gonna smash you know, instantly give you a reaction.
33:23
I don't think you get to a point where you just like it was what it was. Yeah. And so once it arises, it's what what you do with it because you don't need to
33:34
enter into it. So you could get you could blow up in the car and then go Okay, there it is. Hello. And so then is Thanks for coming. So his social media or those like every single post and every single caption, whether it's good, bad or indifferent. It is someone projecting an emotional state. So even if we do something like the daily talk, show how we're going, we're celebrating we have transferred
34:00
are happy emotion or celebration on to everyone else. And so then if you think about like a feed, if you think about a news feed on social media, we are having the equivalent of like, hundreds of cars, tooting their horns. And we're like, reacting and responding. It's like when you have like, you can only have, you know, one car in front of you in a line, right? Or you can have this only like, you can have that many cars around you that you can actually be taking, control love or responsibility for from like, how you're feeling. Whereas like, this is like, you're zoomed out, and all of a sudden you are responsible, or you feel the the effect of every single one of these cars and every like, what every single one of them is doing.
34:49
Yeah. And so that's what I wanted with from a social media perspective.
34:55
I think there's like a there's a piece of work that I've done instead
35:00
To reset and identify it's like the screen time stuff. I haven't worked out exactly what it looks like yet, but it's like, man there was so when I am like when I went away or whatever, when I was overseas for four months, actually didn't talk to like it was just bring in I, I was doing the show with you. It's like you don't actually go talk to that many people day to day and then you come back and not much has changed. And I think for me, it's like a
35:27
there's definitely a simplification for my own mental health where it's like, I think that potentially,
35:36
I think that you can feel responsible for if you follow 1000 people, all of a sudden, like how many times do you like you've met someone, you follow them on Instagram, and now all of a sudden you're entering into how they feel about Dan Andrews is doing or how like, what we should be doing and so it's like, for me it's nothing personal
36:00
But I reckon I, I'm someone who is highly sensitive to, to that stuff. And I probably and yeah, I'm thinking about the
36:10
operating system. So the normal operating system that is manifested based on what you've just said all the input from every paid person, really whether you're friends with them or not your social media friends, that becomes a normal and so,
36:26
it is a challenge to pull yourself out of that because it is requiring a different
36:33
what you will know is it is a more positive approach. But the other one positive or negative a normal becomes a normal and so that stimulus and being fucking highly emotive and reactive to what people are saying in your ether is still just you the way you've been operating. So it's like, it's so high because you go one way hard and you're like a fuck getting out is hard as well to the other side, but it will still happen. There will be still moment.
37:00
But if you can just fucking doll that noise down.
37:04
It's so beneficial. And I think that like you right as you read,
37:09
like I've been reading some auto biography stuff and I think about who I respect from my craft or what they've done or what they've done for an industry or whatever it is. And
37:22
they don't have the capacity to have that many things going on at once, like in that many conversations. And so yeah, the reason I bring it up is I think there's probably there's probably a lot of people that feel the same way. It's like, hang on.
37:36
I'm going on social media, and I'm consuming this stuff, about, you know, from someone who I haven't actually seen in person for eight years, or every time I speak to this person, it makes me feel a certain way. And I think that this time, can teach us that all of these things are optional. Like y'all
38:00
Yeah, it doesn't. There's something so empowering about being like, like, you don't need to enter into this stuff like you can. You don't have to have a strong opinion on everything. And if you don't have a strong opinion on everything, it's probably because you don't know everything. And it's I think it becomes difficult for people who think they know everything and they think that they could,
38:21
you know, run the country better than you know any world leader. Yeah, it's a it's an it's an interesting time, but I think that potentially, that stuff, all of that noise. Yeah, I feel like maybe
38:38
I wish I had identified it earlier, because I've definitely done it right. Like I did the whole going off social media and things like that, but just identifying like, Oh, what is it actually? What's that response doing? What is the constant being accessible? Like, dumb. I like the idea of
38:58
hard to isn't empathy.
39:00
Got access? Yeah yeah fuck it like like do you think that you're accessible?
39:08
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:11
What is accessible main to?
39:13
Well it's accessible to friends I don't know it's just I ignore some messages that I get sometimes not text messages usually feel really guilty about those but messages in general coming through But
39:27
yeah, I don't know I think we deal with the noise differently just our own versions of it the empathy for yourself though is to
39:38
to know that it like it is you set you saying I wish I knew this earlier I you know, it's like it takes time to learn something for for the penny to drop lightbulb moment is it is. It just has to be the way it is. I think it's the equivalent I guess it's like using a metaphor. It's not too dissimilar to your phone and you've got
40:00
Hundred apps open and you're wondering, why is my battery running out? Why all these things happening? And then you like, Oh, fuck, I've got every app on this phone open. And so you, like I'm in the process right now of closing them all down to get to a point where it's like, actually don't want to be like, and this comes out of like, it doesn't have to be crazy at work. It's like buisiness. Like, how much of this is how much of the stress the buisiness the responding quickly, that being accessible? How much of it's actually moving the needle in a positive direction for you and your life? Yeah, I mean, I think it's noisy so it feels like there's progress but if you reassess what the progress is always on always available. So you gave yourself really, if you gave yourself the job. So for instance, like using like the car or road analogy, like the you see cars going past there's an intersection, right?
40:59
There's not one point
41:00
point where I think that it's my response. If I say car struggling, it's not like you go into the middle of the road and start directing traffic, but it feels like what can sometimes happen is it's like, that's like a job that could be done. And so we just enter it if we see a problem, we think, okay, we'll enter into it and solve it. And so, in some ways, I feel like I've just been different, like, I've ended up ended up on a street corner or an intersection. It's like fucking Southeast Asia, where it's just fucking someone, they're just like, and you know, fucking 100,000 motorbikes and stuff and it's just, it's realising, hang on. Like, I don't need to, this isn't my job.
41:41
And it's nothing personal. But the reason I bring it up is because I feel like I can't be alone. And if you're feeling a certain way, if you're feeling like the whites on your shoulders or you feel like people are asking too much of you will, like, there is the other option, which is just like I'm not, not any
42:00
Going into it. And that's Yeah. And like, and there is something in self preservation as as a means to be generous. It's not about self preservation to be selfish. It's about You're the best. You can be the best version of yourself. If you can enable some sort of filter system that works for you.
42:21
Yeah, yeah. Love it. Good way to start your Monday. You chill.
42:26
Anything else? Any other bits and pieces? Oh, it's another lovely day in Melbourne. So, tell me about that. Is that it? Okay. Okay. All right. Well, enjoy the rest of your day will be. It's just gonna be you and I for the for the week, we ended up shifting a few guests because we feel during this time, it's like, we went to two days or two episodes a day last time. We're definitely not going to do that. But if we there's definitely something beneficial in us. sussing this out and as these big extreme things happen aversions happening in
43:00
We're everywhere in the world right now. And so hopefully you can get something out of our chats. Things are changing lots of announcements in Victoria today. So it's a lock it. Yeah, look after yourself everyone and enjoy the rest of the day. We'll say tomorrow guys say guys