Sore Hamstrings & The First Condoms

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 802.

Tommy: Happy weekend, Bantam Gronks. Welcome, uh, Jess, producer Jess, and Georgie Boy's in the building. He's in a building.

George: And Scooter, just around the corner.

Josh: Scooter's here again. Scoot, um, mate, you're light. Can we just— can I just compliment you? You had a purply blue light on Saturday's show. Today you are rocking the green.

Derek: How amazing is that? All I had to do was go down to Bunnings, get the green one, take the purple one out, put the green one in, all for you.

Josh: You're a classic mate who gets one of those lights that changes color, and you do that gear a lot.

Derek: I love it. I do love it. You've got no idea, mate. I went and got a proper lighty, uh, which What do you call the lighting control thing? Exit or something, whatever it is.

Tommy: Anyway, that's exciting.

Derek: Now kids are loving it, it's a disco.

Tommy: Seb, you've been off this week because you were waiting your COVID test. It's since back and you're a negative guy.

Josh: Well, he wasn't off. He literally was working from home, let's be clear.

Tommy: No, but like, you technically were because by the time that we decided to go remote, it was a day after and you'd got in the day before, which was great. So you got home early, beat the traffic. Is there anything you're doing? Are you snacking? Are you looking in the fridge way more than normal? What are you doing since you've been back at home?

Unknown: Oh yeah. Well, so I pushed for a rule earlier this week, no food in the bedroom because we've got a little basket.

Tommy: Not real men eat ass, wasn't that?

Derek: Yeah.

Unknown: No, we've got a basket right next to the bed. And it's filled with, uh, Keep It Cleaner Bliss Balls and the occasional block of chocolate and bag of licorice.

Josh: Now what's your favorite, um, go-to Bliss Ball if you had to pick one? Do they call them Bliss Balls or is that a, is that a branded thing?

Unknown: I re— I reckon— I don't actually think they call them Bliss Balls. I reckon they're just protein balls.

George: No, I love— this says Bliss Balls on them, I'm pretty sure. Doesn't it?

Mason: Does it?

Tommy: I can imagine that you're a fan. You're the correspondent, the Steph Clare-Smith correspondent.

Mason: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Have you done any of their group?

George: We had that once.

Josh: GB?

George: Nah, I only did one workout and I'm scared since because it's so, so hard.

Tommy: Your little, your little peach was a bit sore for days. Yeah, I did have a sore peach.

Josh: What is it saying, Seb?

Unknown: They are bliss balls. There we go, there we go. My favourite is probably the choc and peanut butter one. But Grace loves the choc orange.

Josh: That's good.

Unknown: But I've just been smashing those, smashing those.

George: Are you eating—

Tommy: like, I remember when my brother— for like, my brother's been with his wife since they were 17. It's a very long time. And I remember just, they'd be held up in their room, you know. We lived at home and this was, you know, back then I was a couple of years younger and they would just be in there. Don't know what was going on. Is it, um, Are you held up in your room with Grace, Sevs? Is this like door shut, just Gracie girl time for hours?

Unknown: A little bit, yeah, a little bit. I mean, I've had real sore hamstrings since coming.

Mason: What?

Unknown: I think, mate, I don't—

Josh: this is the—

Unknown: I have no idea. Like, they're so sore and it's just— I actually can't sleep. Like, it's actually— it's a problem.

Josh: I don't know how those two things are connected.

Tommy: Legs up behind your head.

Unknown: He loves it. No, but we were, we were, we were stretching yesterday, and so that was that. I was going into that example of like the door was shut, we were stretching. That's all good.

Mason: Keep digging. Yeah.

George: Is she in the room now? Did you kick her out for the show?

Unknown: Well, she actually asked if she could stay. During the show, and I said, if she wants, but she left.

Josh: So, okay, so that was obvious.

Tommy: If you want is not, uh, I'd love you to stay.

Unknown: Yeah, if you're quiet. Yeah, it's great. I actually, I love it.

Josh: How are you going? So your, um, sister was living at your place. When did she move out?

Mason: Today.

Josh: I just cut to 97. Today. And so what does that mean? What are you going to get? So you've been Are you telling people your sleeping arrangements at the moment?

Mason: I haven't told it to anyone else other than you guys, but I've been sleeping on the couch because she was living in my apartment for the first COVID lockdown. And yeah, I since moved back and she still had my room and yeah, it's just too hard to switch it out.

Josh: And so what is it like?

Tommy: Is it annoying? Because you're the eldest and it's like that doesn't fly usually with the eldest. Making the eldest sleep on the couch.

Mason: No, but the thing was, because I had actually said to her she could have it for July as well, I felt that I had to let her have it. So that's okay. I was okay with it for the time being.

Josh: And so what are you looking forward to having your apartment back? What are the first changes?

Mason: Uh, my bed. I'm so pumped for a good night's sleep tonight. Um, she has really long blonde hair and It's so frustrating after she washes her hair that the plug is just filled. It looks disgusting. Yeah.

Tommy: Does yours not come out? Does your hair not come out?

Mason: Yeah, not as much as hers though, because it's so much longer than mine. You know how I have long hair.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: And it just, it's so much thicker than mine as well. So, I don't know, it just fully clogs it.

Josh: I would have assumed that brunettes would have hair, like more obvious hair in the sort of the sink. No, is that not a darker hair? Like, I just feel like, GB, I feel like you're reacting quite strongly to this. Why?

George: Yeah, just the word brunette made me giggle because you've said it so many times.

Tommy: I'm not a guy that says it more than Josh Dancer.

Josh: GB, do you count yourself as a brunette?

George: A bit auburn, a bit, a little bit ranga. I reckon I'm a little bit ranga.

Tommy: The moustache is ranga. I love the moustache.

Josh: Scooter, have you ever coloured your hair?

Derek: Yeah, of course I have.

Josh: Come on, mate, you're a brunette naturally.

Derek: Is a brunette a word? Just so that rangers don't get offended, because you either, you know, you're either blonde or you're not blonde.

Mason: So what are you talking about, Scooter?

Derek: Sorry, when I was Gingers, they're trouble. When I, when I was 16, I think I had my hair, uh, we used to get our hair tipped all the time, my generation. So they'd put a rubber thing on your head and then stab you in the head really hard hundreds of times. Tommy, do you ever get your hair tipped?

Tommy: Yeah, it's a skull cap and then a pick that pulls out a strand of hair, and then it's actually quite a good invention, but just a bit annoying.

Derek: People in Sydney, they call it streaks, but we called it, uh, we called it tips. Yeah, and I had black, red, all kinds of weird colors.

Josh: I imagine with the tip cap, like the old school one, would have been really thick. Like, I just imagine like a ridiculously sort of like industrial cap. It got me thinking, you did the, um, the Four Seasons condoms video with 97. The first condoms— actually, maybe not the first con— when condoms became a bigger thing, were they a lot thicker? Were they different?

Derek: Are you actually asking me about the origins?

Tommy: Josh, you really—

Derek: That was hundreds of years ago, wasn't it?

Tommy: Is he a historian?

Josh: Is he a dingus?

Unknown: 1839 they were invented, so I don't think Scooter was around.

Tommy: I used to say to my dad when we were young, I'd say, Dad, tell me a storey about the olden days. 'Can you fix your microphone?' Is it fine? I thought I fixed it. Yeah, I say, 'Tell me about the olden days.' And thinking about Bodhi saying that to me now is like, that's— literally my dad would have been 40 and I was asking him to tell me about the olden days.

Josh: Scooter actually does have like— I'm always surprised that he has storeys on everything. Was there a difference between condoms? It was huge.

Derek: I got a couple of years in. I reckon I got a couple of years in before they they became like a life-saving thing, you know.

Tommy: Was that before AIDS?

Derek: So before, yeah, just as it was kicking off, but before it was kind of publicised as something you should do for your own—

Tommy: Sorry, can I just say something about AIDS? Is— was AIDS not a thing for a whole bunch of time, and then I guess like the coronavirus, it's this new thing that is affecting people?

Derek: My view on all this is from the perception of a pretty shallow suburban bogan at the time. So it wasn't such a thing. And then they had ad campaigns. There's a lot of ad campaigns about the Grim Reaper, a little bit like Corona, how, you know, like the Grim Reaper. Yeah. And there was all these beds. If you slept with this person, then they might have slept with this many people and so on and so forth, which was true. So The campaigns were trying to get people to realise that it's not like, oh, she was a nice girl, that'd be okay, or he was a nice guy, whatever. It's kind of, you know, all linked and sort of, you know, sort of cumulative.

Josh: And so it was different? So when you were doing it, when it was before it was cool, what was the—

Derek: It was to not get pregnant.

Josh: And so what was the deal? Like, what was the actual— were they at all different or are they exactly the same?

Derek: I think they're pretty much the same. I can't remember.

Mason: Surely that's new technology.

Derek: There was like all of the different varieties, and I reckon they had ribbed back then, or was it ribbed? Yeah, there was, there were comedians talking about ribbed ones and all that sort of thing way back before then, so maybe they did. You know, you had them in the dispensers, you know, the airport or whatever, and they always seem to have like some pretty exotic they weren't just to get it on for safety. They, they seem to always have these weird names like Black Rhino and all these weird things. But, um, yeah, no, I know.

Tommy: Yes. Um, just while we're on the sort of self-care topic of condoms.

Unknown: Yeah, just, oh, by the way, just, just, just while we're on the topic, so there's— I'm just on the Wikipedia for them, and in 1900s there's there are condoms made from animal intestines. And so they used to make them out of that and they'd treat them with sulphur and lye, or is linen treated with chemicals? Wow, that's, that's old school. I don't think linen would keep it in, but that's—

Josh: keep it in, that is keep it in.

Tommy: Okay, uh, walked into daycare the other day on Bodhi's room. So there's like 4 different rooms at the daycare center. On it says 2 confirmed cases of head lice. Oh, and at that point, man, I haven't— I haven't thought about head lice. I've had head lice once in my life, and my friend thought he got it off me, and I thought I got it off him, and we just said, you're an absolute gronk. Uh, when was the last time you guys had the head lice? Let's work out who— 13. Okay, I would have been older than you.

George: Shaved my head. I went, I went Gave myself a number one to get rid of them.

Unknown: Wow.

George: Because, um, I tried everything. Tried all the shampoos, tried— yeah, it was so annoying, so gross. They're big. Like, if you actually pick out nits from your hair, they're like big little cockroaches.

Tommy: Maybe in Byron. What the hell are those things? Oh, sure.

Josh: You had lice?

Mason: I did, but I didn't get them very bad. My mum used to put fly spray on my sister's hair.

Tommy: Oh, what?

Mason: I know.

Tommy: Wow.

George: Not a bad idea.

Tommy: That's what George's mum should have done because there were cockroaches.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. You needed head lice treatment.

George: Geez. Vinegar works as well, I think.

Tommy: Oh no. Have you had it, George?

George: No, never.

Josh: No.

Tommy: Never had it.

Josh: Oh, I was looking at— we've spoken at length about my folliculitis. And I say that I still have folliculitis. I actually don't anymore. So I found a photo, I was going through all my old photos and I saw a photo of my scalp when I had it. And it was the most horrendous. So it's like infected follicles. Jess, type in follicles.

George: She doesn't listen to the show, so she wouldn't know.

Josh: Jess doesn't listen.

Unknown: Follicles, yeah, you're right.

Josh: Hair follicle. Yeah, so imagine that those—

Unknown: Inflamed follicles.

Josh: Yeah, inflamed follicles. Flamed. And so it's like a raised bump. And I think that it's maybe people with curly hair could be predisposed, or if you, if any sort of oil gets into it. But the problem is even when you wash your hair, it's sort of like a bacteria thing too. So you actually have to go on antibiotics.

Unknown: Were you crusty? Was it crusty?

Josh: No, no, not crusty. No, like, so, it's a common thing. Yeah, they're a little bit, yeah, they go a little bit scabby. But yeah, it's not ideal. Did you, Jess, did you have acne as a kid? Mm-mm. No, that's lucky.

Tommy: Dodged a bullet there. Yeah, just got the fly spray.

Mason: I feel like I got worse skin as I got older.

Josh: Really?

George: Oh really?

Tommy: Yeah. But that's usually— does it coincide with being able to drink shitloads?

Mason: Yeah, probably. Eat shit, drink shit, wear makeup.

Josh: That's a fucking— can we get a, um, a t-shirt, some merch. What does it say? Eat shit, drink shit, wear makeup.

George: Is that what you said?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's a motto.

Mason: Do you guys like my top?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So what does it say?

Unknown: What does it say?

Mason: Oh, hang on, it says leave one mark.

Josh: Leave one mark. We do love—

Mason: which way I need to go on this computer?

George: It's not my mark.

Tommy: Not mine.

Josh: I don't get it. He's making me sick.

Unknown: That's your joke.

George: Not your mark.

Unknown: Not my mark.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I got it.

Josh: That's very funny, George.

Tommy: So leave your mark, what does that mean? What is it?

Josh: What is it?

Tommy: Leave one's mark. What brand is doing this philosophical shit?

Mason: I don't know, I just saw it in Japan and I liked it.

Josh: I thought it was cool. Oh, it's Japan. Good flex.

Mason: That's nice.

Derek: Yeah, good grammar.

Josh: That's all I've got for you because it's, um, why do you say that, Scooter?

Derek: It just sounds posh, doesn't it? Leave one's mark.

Unknown: It's got an apostrophe.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm trying to work out what it means. Well, sometimes it just means just like, how do you, how do you leave your mark, Jess? What's your mark?

Mason: I don't know, um, just try and make everyone happy. That's nice. I thought you were going down a real deep route.

George: Yeah, what did you say?

Mason: You were going down a real deep Dirty.

George: I thought it was just going to be leaving a few tinnies in the bin. That's your mark.

Josh: A few what?

George: I don't know, let's go with the beer jokes, the burgon jokes.

Mason: I've left a really bad mark on Josh this week, to be honest, haven't I?

Josh: Why do you say that? What does that mean?

Mason: Just the shit you've been giving me.

Josh: Oh no, well, so there's just all these things that Jess is starting to reveal as she becomes more and more comfortable within the team. She was describing Scooter about she's one of those chicks that—

Mason: Oh no, no, no, no.

Josh: These are her words. No, she was talking about she's the type of chick that can have a beer with the boys. And so there's been a lot of fun around it. Ah, having a beer, like having a beer. Was that not what was said?

Mason: You just make me sound like such a fucking wanker.

Derek: She's got a chart-busting Podcaster, leave her alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations, Jess, by the way.

Mason: That's awesome. Thank you.

Josh: Bring her up. Sorry, that's good.

Mason: Josh, you need to be careful. Me and Tully are going to take this shit elsewhere.

Josh: I know, I know. It's, um, have you, um, have you noticed anything different now that you've got, um, you know, you're working on a podcast and like, have you got— I feel like you've got a new swagger to you.

Mason: Really?

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: I felt good today. I was nervous as shit during the week, but after we recorded episode 2, I felt really good.

Josh: What do you think? What were you mainly nervous about?

Mason: Like, I've never done this stuff before, so being in front of a microphone and a camera isn't, you know, something I've had interest in or I suppose had experience in. So it's just learning new things, you know. And I also don't think that I'm the most interesting person, so.

Josh: Oh, here you are.

Derek: Come on, mate.

George: Here you are, come on.

Josh: You're very interesting.

Derek: It works really well. Works really well.

Mason: I'm better with a beer in my hand. With guys out at the bar.

Unknown: With the boys.

George: I mean, you've, this was great.

Mason: Look, I've got you all around me at the moment.

Josh: It's just the boys.

Mason: Hanging with the boys.

Josh: You just did shuckers if you're not watching the video. And I mean, one thing that was interesting, Tommy and I were talking about it, you've started doing the show where you need to have a drink every single time. We've set this expectation. How did this happen?

Derek: I don't know.

Mason: I think it was Tully, wasn't it? She just loves a drink.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So what did you drink for episode 2?

Mason: We had Prosecco. So it's a step up from the pashapop. Which is good. So next week we're popping Bollinger on their work credit card.

Josh: Okay.

Derek: Oh, geez.

Josh: Have we got a credit card now?

Mason: Or the debit card, whatever it is.

Josh: No, no, no, the debit card. And so the, I mean, the drinking culture stuff, like TJ, you've spoken about Amy in the agencies, they had the cart that was, Moving around and things like that.

Tommy: Cocktail cart, it was amazing. Amy used to wheel it around and get everyone fucking lit. And then at GB's agency, it got banned, didn't it? What happened?

George: Yeah, we had it and it got banned for like a year because Alicia dropped it.

Derek: Don't want to name names.

George: Yeah, she dropped the cart and smashed all the bottles everywhere.

Tommy: So then the name is the same where appropriate.

George: That is one of them.

Josh: And so would you have any rules? Like, if we were to set rules, um, within the business around drinking? Jess, do you have any water scooter, by the way, that you're drinking?

Derek: Definitely. Yep.

Unknown: Okay, just checking.

Josh: Just raising for a second. Yeah, yeah. Any, any rules, Jess, that you think that we should sort of bring into big media company around alcohol consumption?

Mason: You guys don't drink anyway. So, no, I want to bring in the drinking rules, the drinking altogether.

Josh: And so what do you think if we were to start? I feel like Friday night drinks, just before you sort of started to really get involved, that was, maybe it was the drinking that sort of got you interested. But yeah, we used to do Friday night drinks where every Friday we would drink. We have sort of moved away from that. But if we were to start to, like, so yeah, let's lean in.

Tommy: Let's be drinking. Let's have drinking Saturday. Let's have drinking benchmarks.

Josh: Drinking culture. Let's have a drinking culture. What do we need for a drinking culture?

Mason: Mason, you down for that?

Unknown: Well, yeah, but I don't— to be like, I just want gin.

Josh: Yeah, that's fine.

George: I don't want beer culture.

Unknown: I don't want beer.

Josh: Like, I just—

Tommy: sorry, Jess. I think what it is, if, if you think about it, if it's there, if it's in your fridge and there's something you like to drink, there's a higher chance that you'll just have a, a beer or a glass of wine. On a random night. And so if we somehow get some deal with an alcohol brand that has our bar stocked at the office, there's definitely going to be more drinking happening, at least for the first 4 weeks before we get bored of it and there's been too many blowups.

Mason: Before we drink and drive.

George: Jess and I had a couple of beers. We had a couple of beers on Thursday night smashing out some work before F800.

Josh: Can I just mention those sliders? So Jess, you've always said that you're a slider girl when it comes to grilled.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: I didn't— When I think about sliders, I think about like, you know, you go to a 21st birthday, they have like little sliders. These are just burgers. You just— You're having 2 burgers.

George: The photo made them look a little bit bigger.

Mason: Yeah, I agree.

George: But they're not huge.

Mason: They're not. But no, I reckon they're about the same. I reckon they're on par with an average slider.

George: Yeah, I reckon 2 sliders is bigger than 1 burger.

Mason: I'd—

Josh: Yeah, maybe.

Mason: Do you reckon? I feel like they're the exact same size.

Derek: Really?

Josh: That's a good story.

Tommy: This is a good weight. Like, we should go and do the weight test. Buy 2 sliders, buy 1 burger, get 2 slices of the same burger, and then get 1 of the bigger burgers and see which one.

George: Great idea.

Mason: But I've converted you, haven't I, George?

George: Yeah, it was good.

Mason: It was good because you get the best of both worlds. You can have the meat patty, the vintage or the classic, or you can have the chicken one with bourbon.

Josh: So they're, they're 2 different So you have a chicken and a beef in one? Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Mason: Yeah.

Unknown: Is there any— can you pick any burger from grilled and they'll just put it into a slider, or is it specific menu?

George: Got 4 options.

Mason: I said they're pretty good options.

George: And we actually couldn't just— couldn't figure out which one was whose because we both— like, I got the classic and she got the vintage, and they didn't write on the box. It's pissing me off.

Mason: So yeah, and we both lifted the lids of each other's.

George: We both just touched it. Yes.

Josh: I actually couldn't work out the difference between— Bree and I got a burger the other day. Couldn't tell the difference between a double and a single patty burger. Feel like the patties aren't big enough at that point. Really? Yeah.

Tommy: Geez.

Mason: How does that work? Surely they're stacked on top.

Unknown: They put two together.

Josh: It was just, they were so thin. You ate both? Yeah. No, but I spent a long— Like, I tried to feel it out. Like, that is a skill. Like, Bree and I got an açaí bowl, like two açaí bowls. And I could lift it up, left and right hand, work out which is heavier, and then hand her the lighter one. And I think that's a pretty amazing skill because she even said, oh, you have this one because there's more in it. I'm like, visually, yes, but feel the weight difference.

George: I remember JJ, one of the— Was it the left one?

Josh: I can't remember.

George: One of the One of the times I heard you on H&A back in the day was your Uber Eats complaint that they gave you not enough meat because you ordered 125 gramme beef and you weighed it on the scale and you weren't happy. So, then you ordered another one.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I did a whole— I weighed the meat to see how much, but that actually— So, that was on Hamish and Andy, a national show. And they, I got absolutely slammed on social media. Like people are like, how disgusting bringing down a small business. Like people were really unhappy with me. Yeah, I thought it was an interesting pickup.

Unknown: That's a good little find.

Derek: How much under was it?

Josh: It was significantly under. It was, I can go back on my Instas and have a look.

Unknown: So it wasn't just like 5 grammes off?

Josh: No, no, no. It was like a, I was like, "Jeez, this doesn't seem like much." I think it was like— Do you remember, JB?

George: Yeah, so I think what happened was I think you ordered a 200-grammer or something, and it came and you're like, "This is very light." So, you weighed it and it was 125, roughly. That's true.

Mason: But is it 200 grammes before being cooked?

Josh: Is that what people were saying?

George: That's what people were saying. But then— I'm just realising. Listen to the story. So, then Once you got the 125 grammer, you were like, okay, well, I'm going to order 100. I think it was like, I'm going to order 100 grammer to see if that's good or not.

Josh: That's true. Yeah, I did do that.

George: So, you wanted to control. So, you went back on Uber Eats, went to the same shop, ordered 100 gramme beef. It came and it was also 125. I think it was something like that. That's when it was a scam.

Unknown: Sus.

Derek: Sounds like a Tommy Jacket prank, that one with the coffees.

Josh: Yeah, it does.

Tommy: I know it does, doesn't it?

Josh: The McFlurries all over again.

Tommy: Real tight-ass vibe. Just needed my value.

Josh: Um, right, a bit pantomime. Um, any, uh, any food hacks, Scooter, that you're across?

Derek: Oh Jesus. Um, pressure? No, not really. I'm constantly— I, I, every time I cook at home, I think, oh my God, that's genius, I should have a cookery book. Like every time, which is an old word for recipe book, I guess. My mum says cookery book, but every crazy thing I do, I always say, yuck, Dad, you can't do that, or Fiona, what sort of thing? Don't be ridiculous. I can't— I can never remember, but everything gets a bit of brown sugar. Put it that way. But, but just some genius ideas, but I can never remember any, and that's why I say I should put them in a cookbook.

Tommy: There's, uh, there's, um, snacks around the house. I don't really have snacks for, for the adults in the house. We don't, Amy and I, but my son does. Messy Monkeys, so good. I've been getting into his, his chips, and then I'll also cereal. I just ate, I just ate it from the pack.

Josh: So what is— so Messy Monkeys, what makes it a kids product? Like, is it like whole grain?

Tommy: Let me— I mean, it's still flour, maize, rice, whole grain. It's just got the, you know, the classic gluten-free chicken flavor, whole grain bites. I don't know, maybe that— I mean, they taste healthier.

Unknown: What are they?

Tommy: If they—

Unknown: what are they? These are like Biscuit, are they?

George: Cracker?

Tommy: These are just like— you can get like a Burger Ring flavor, burger flavor, and then these are chicken flavor. But then this is cereal. It's only the shit you buy on special because it's expensive, but then they do that half price.

Josh: Do adults eat it as well, or no? They don't have an adult range.

Tommy: I mean, they don't have an adult, right? It's a kids range, but it tastes epic. I remember that strawberry milkshake.

Josh: There were people in school that would eat baby food. Jess, did you have any friends that would eat baby food?

Mason: Yeah, I did.

Derek: What?

George: You ate baby food?

Mason: Oh, not— Yeah, the custard, the chocolate custard one. It's delicious. And also the baby yogurts. I mean, I haven't done it in ages, but yeah.

Derek: How long?

Mason: I have done it.

George: Oh, mate.

Josh: Not this week.

Mason: Oh, no, sorry. I have a cooking hack, though, that I really want to share.

Josh: Oh yeah?

Unknown: Oh, great.

Mason: Okay, if you guys are ever making a pavlova, it's gonna revolutionise your cooking. So, you get a bottle, like a plastic bottle, and you let some air out. You've got the eggs, you've cracked the eggs into the bowl already, and then you let the bottle suck up the yolk, and it just like fully disconnects it from the white stuff.

Josh: Have you been watching this on Facebook videos?

Mason: I did see them, but it actually works. I claim it as my own.

George: But are you— so you've, you've done one separating the yolk and the— yeah, is this just if there's extras in there?

Josh: No, no, no, this is, this is the—

Unknown: instead of doing another separation because you need the white to make all the fluffy stuff.

Tommy: So you, Jess, you cracked, say, 10 eggs into a thing and then suck out all the— ever set out?

Mason: It fully works.

Derek: Yeah, that's awesome.

Tommy: Are you losing something?

Mason: I've got one white egg yolk though. It somehow disconnects, like it is just the cleanest cut.

Unknown: Great.

Mason: I know.

Derek: Hey, yeah, I've got one. I bought one of those things that you get advertised to you on Instagram.

Josh: You've bought something?

Derek: Put the disclaimer. I said it, I said to the kids, I've got this, um, dumpling maker. I'm going to order it and it's not going to arrive because it's a scam. And I've put the disclaimer down and it did arrive and it's the best fun ever. You would have seen the ads. They get little, it's like a little fold up stainless steel.

Josh: I think you're in a special retargeting thing for someone that actually buys that dumb shit. Is this from Wish.com?

Derek: I recommend it. Here's the link. Oh, whatever. It's so good though. It works. But the thing it comes with, it's the exciting part. It comes with an extra accessory. That I can't, I can't even describe it. It's like, you know how the pizza thing cuts the pizza by rolling along? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you roll it along, it's a little wheel that cuts the pizza. Well, this kind of rolls like that, but it's got these rolling shapes of steel, these two back to back, and as you roll it, it just magically cuts circles. In the pastry. So you lay the pastry down and you just roll it along there and you go, how did that happen? And it just cuts it all into circles.

Josh: Is that the dumpling maker? Is that not the main bit?

Derek: No, that's the, that's the hole cutter.

Josh: And so what, and so then what's the main—

Derek: and then you put it in the dumpling thing and you fold it up and it sort of—

Josh: so it's like an egg cooker.

Derek: You put— you just fold it up like that and it's for assembling them. It doesn't cook them.

George: And then you put in a steamer.

Tommy: I see.

Derek: Perfect gyoza.

Tommy: Well, what's it— hang on, what's the alternative? Good. The peanut butter is like a metal shape that you just press down and take up. So what is the alternative? If that's revolutionary, what's the other way of doing it?

Derek: I don't know. I would have got like a yoghurt pot or something and surely you just use your fingers, tried to cut the hole by hand.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, surely your fingers— Jess, who uses— who has to get a yolk by getting a plastic bottle. And I mean, that's—

Mason: you should try it.

Josh: And so does the yolk though go into the— does the yolk end up like— do you end up with like 7 yolks in a bottle?

Mason: No, because you just grab it and then you squirt it into the sink.

George: Oh, that's so gross.

Josh: What do you do with the yolks?

George: And then what do you do with it?

Unknown: You just put it in the sink.

Mason: Yeah, what do you guys do?

Tommy: You can make—

Unknown: just put it in another container and make an omelette with it later.

Josh: Say it again, TJ.

Tommy: Nah, you don't make omelettes with— Mason, you don't make omelettes with just the yolks. Are you serious?

Unknown: You'd be right if you just add, if you just add 2 more eggs to it, you'd be fine.

Tommy: All right, this is a high-fat—

George: Chuck it in a bloody protein shake.

Tommy: Yeah, mate, just snort it down. You can get actually a, um, it looks like a mug and it's a guy's face that has a big long nose and and he looks like he's like scrunching up his face, and you crack the eggs into that and you tilt it and it drains out all of the whites, and it looks like this guy's got a really runny nose, and you pour it into— it's so funny— you pour it into a bowl and it looks like this guy's just having boogers running out of his nose, but it's the egg whites. It's another—

George: Scooter's gonna get that for sure.

Tommy: —thing to buy.

Derek: I'll send you a link, Scooter. I so want that.

Josh: Appliances, like, I— there is a bit of a, um, I feel like that was an old school thing though, Scooter, uh, bring back to the olden days, like getting an appliance for everything, like having a milkshake maker that wasn't a blender.

Derek: Yeah, yeah, the device that has this attachment and all that kind of— it still does though. I got man-trapped by, um I was telling you once about the, the mixer Fiona was using, this Sunbeam mixer that was— had a cloth cable. It was so freaking old. I said to her— and the things were all bent, so it was going— and I said, I'm getting rid of that, I'm throwing it out because it's— one day it's going to just burn the house down. So, but I got trapped in a shop, appliance shop, by this fancy brand. I don't know, I can't remember. It's an American brand and it's all metal and it was like such a bloke trap. And it has a little— like a tractor would have a little shaft that lives inside and you can add other things to it to make— what does it do? To mince meat and shit like that that you'll never ever need. Cut an onion. But I went, I went for it anyway.

Josh: KitchenAid, it's called. KitchenAid.

Mason: Oh, you've got a KitchenAid?

Derek: It's such a bloke trap because it's Made out of metal.

Mason: I was trying to work out what the hell you were talking about, but that makes more sense. It was a guessing game.

George: We all got it wrong. They're expensive, those KitchenAids.

Derek: But the KitchenAid does have a little shaft hidden inside that you can add groovy fixtures to it, so it's a bit of a man trap.

Josh: What's the big— what's that big thing? It's not a KitchenAid, the one that like— it's, it's a bit of a Ponzi scheme.

Tommy: What do you mean?

Unknown: Oh, um, thing that does everything. Thermomix.

Tommy: Thermomix, Josh. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

Josh: I could imagine TJ, Amy, like wanting to get a Thermomix.

Tommy: Yeah. The thing is they're great, but they're, but they're, um, the problem with them is you got to use them. It still takes effort. Like, it's like, oh my God, this thing does a cake, but it will also do your steaming of broccoli. Yeah.

Josh: It's like, there's something a bit fucking gross about, like, I reckon I would just obsess over thinking that I'm tasting the other thing. So like, if we like, ah, fuck, like this sponge cake, I can taste the pumpkin soup, I can taste it. Yuck. Like, that was a big issue with me with leftovers. I would like, the line that I would use, Mum would fucking hate it. I'd be like, it tastes like fridge, like whatever I'm eating. I'm like, I can taste everything in the fridge.

George: Yeah. When we used to have big breakfasts at home for like birthdays and stuff, it'd be like bacon, eggs, all the savoury stuff and then also fruit and like, uh, croissants and stuff, and you just sort of put them all on the same plate. It's a bit weird. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: You leave a piece of food on your plate every time you eat, don't you, when you finish, George? Don't you? Yeah, I do.

George: Just leave a little, little piece there for—

Josh: Who's it for? I can't stand that.

George: Why? Why? I think it's actually a compliment because— To who? To the chef. Why? Because then they know that they've fed you the exact perfect amount that you've eaten heaps and you're full, but just can't finish anymore. I'm just— I'm too full. It was really good though.

Mason: Bullshit. Lick the plate.

Unknown: So what did you do with your grilled burger? Did you eat all of that or did you leave some? I did.

George: I can't remember. No, I would have probably ate it all.

Mason: Did you leave a chip?

George: Probably left a chip or something. I don't even notice me doing it. But mum always picks it up.

Tommy: I've got a mate of mine does the exact same thing. What are you gonna say, Jess?

Mason: I was gonna say that growing up, we used to have medallions, like 1, 2, 3 at my grandma's house. And between me and my cousins and my sisters, whoever ate their meal the quickest got number 1, and then it was 2 and 3. So, we were rushing to eat our meals. And I feel like that's why I have issues with eating at the moment, 'cause I was like—

Josh: I mean, I feel like you hear people say, "Oh, you've gotta eat everything, like you gotta finish your plate." Like that's an issue. This is another level, which is like, not only do you need to eat, like finish everything on the plate, you need to do it at some sort of Olympic time.

George: Yeah. I know. What about sharing? Are you a good sharer? I hate going to share places.

Mason: Just give me a parma on a plate. I don't want tappers.

Josh: Got that, Josh? Yeah. That's very funny. No, you know, my mate Naysan says the same thing. He like, he's told me about tappers and how he feels. He's like, it's all just so little and annoying.

Mason: Yeah. Is that how you feel? I relate to that. Yeah, absolutely. I don't mind Japanese. Like Japanese, you kind of have to share, but yeah, I don't like it. It's like I just want to know what's mine and I just don't want to—

George: You're the oldest, hey? Yeah. There you go. That's why.

Josh: No, I think there's definitely like, I remember a couple of, I was thinking Easter's ago, we went to, like I feel like with Bree's family, I— we always end up going to these random restaurants. Like, I'm not a massive, like, go and have Chinese type of guy. Like, I wasn't a family that would have Chinese, like, every second week or whatever. We had Mexican and shit like that. But, um, yeah, I just remember a couple of years ago going to an event, a family event, and it's just one of those things where it's like, ah, and actually, GB, this reminds me, this, this has happened to you as well. At a winery, I think it was, where it's a bit of a, "Oh, yeah, we'll just get this main and we'll do like, yeah, everyone just get a little bit of stuff." It's a nightmare.

George: Yeah, that happened. Yeah, that was so annoying. We got, had a big table set up with like, it was a big family wedding and it was like, "All right, everyone go up, order your food and we'll get a few things for the table as well." And so, we went up and ordered our food and paid for it and stuff and paid like $50 or whatever.. And then like, and then the other people, like my aunties and stuff, who ordered the food for the table, when the waiters were coming around with our food, like, up, up there, share it round, everyone, come on, get in. And I was like, oh no. And then my cousin got—

Josh: Scooter's fucking fuming about this.

George: My cousin got my pork belly and, and he got it and he was like, oh, I didn't know this, but anyway, and he was like eating it in front of me, ate the whole thing. And then his one came out that he ordered and he's like, oh, oh, that's mine. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that is mine. And then he ate that as well.

Mason: What? Why didn't you say something?

George: Oh, because I don't know, because he's got tats and he's scary. Actually, you might like him. You can have it. He's married. He's married. I don't know.

Josh: Do you have any rules when it comes to sharing food, especially having kids? I feel like you need to be really clear.

Derek: Uh, my problem with tapas is not eating tapas and not even sharing. It's that the anxiety and fear you're not going to get enough to eat. It really is powerful. Same goes with Japanese and, and even sliders. Like, sliders are the absolute answer to my woes because you can— it's less messy. You can get a grip on these things. I do 12 of those rather than have 2 burgers. Or like a 6 versus 1 or whatever. But it's the pre-anxiety and then having to tell yourself afterwards going, you see, you're full, you're satisfied. What were you worried about? It's like this cycle.

Josh: So when you do a fish and chips order for the family, like I used to get like a burger or something that was very clearly defined as an individual item. What's the rules of engagement when it comes to the family ordering fish and chips, Scoot?

Derek: Scallops are your— if you want to identify a slightly different chip style, you have to get your scallops and you have to order them. There's no— there's some scallop— I'm not really a scallop guy. You're talking potato cakes. Oh, fuck, I said scallops. Oh my God, I've become a New South Welshman. How did they—

Josh: I meant potato cakes. This is the equivalent of like a mate going to New York, New New York and having an accent. Why the fuck did you even say scallops? You haven't even— I don't know, it just came out.

Mason: It's a WA thing, I think.

Derek: I think I was everywhere. I was at a cafe. Yeah, I heard someone order it.

Tommy: It is. Sorry. Yeah, it is. I get scallops, but it's just not potatoes.

Unknown: And then there's scallop potato as well. Yeah, which aren't hotcakes, but they're just like, you know, you put it in the oven with a bit of milk and—

Tommy: yeah, it's not mashed potatoes, but Better kind of—

Unknown: no, hot cakes are the same as what Scooter's talking about, potato cakes. Oh no, they're not.

Josh: Hot cakes. No, they're not.

Tommy: What do you— hot cakes, are they not?

Josh: Hot cakes is what you get at Maccas instead of pancakes. Hang on.

Unknown: They're pancakes. Oh really?

Josh: Yeah.

Unknown: Oh yeah, they are.

George: Don't tell me you order hot cakes when you go to chicken and chips.

Josh: Nah, they're like, the hot cakes guy's back. So Scooter, so you get like, um, how many, like, what is an order for a family of how many are there? 1, 2, 3, like 4 of you. What do you, what do you want?

Derek: Kids always want a bit of flake or something, which I don't know whether that's good or not. Anyway, they always want the flake. Fiona gets what she wants. I do that burger thing as well because then that no one's taking, tearing at the end of my fish and going, can I try yours?

George: I can't believe you guys are getting burgers. You had to find a fish and chip joint. Yeah, because yeah, they're ginormous. You don't like fish.

Unknown: But you don't like fish.

Tommy: I did, um, I ate fish. I did, I did fish the other night. Very confusing, Jess. Yeah, the other night with my brother, and we, we did half a burger with a lot, so we cut it down the middle and shared that. Then we did half a piece of fried— who was this with? My bro. This is back just before the week before we went into lockdown. It was, uh, nice having fish and chips with my parents.

Josh: That's nice. Yes, there's something like the sharing thing. Yeah, I, um It's amazing the fact that you have a storey from the last sort of 6 months of you sharing something like that. Like, I could have sworn that would have been a storey from when you were 12.

Tommy: No, I share. Amy and I share heaps. We're always doing the share. I'm like, I didn't want a whole piece of flake and I didn't want a whole burger, and I was like, hey bro, do you think that Amy, she's happy with that? She does. I mean We've done it since we've been together. And then, but what you learn is you don't need a whole fucking parma. Absolutely not. Like a piece of parma.

Josh: Jess hasn't got a shot. She can't see where we're cutting to. But yeah, Jess, can you defend yourself on the whole parma front?

Mason: That was like a stab to the heart.

Tommy: But is it not a true statement?

Mason: Yeah, you can't really eat it.

Tommy: It's not— I'll— I will eat it, but I did not need it all. That's the point. Yeah, yeah. All 500 grammes of chicken in a heart shape. Yeah. Um, anyway, big week, guys. Well done. Well done, Jess, on your first podcast with Tully going out. Well done, Georgie boy, on a great 800-episode highlights reel. Good, Derek.

Josh: What do you want to hear?

George: Well done to you guys, more importantly.

Tommy: I think, I think, yes, you did a whole episode where you just clapped for us the whole time, so it's, uh, you know, you don't need to clap again. It's all good. All right, love you, Scooter Derek. Thanks for coming on, mate.

Derek: I love you guys. My pleasure.

Josh: All right, uh, it's a daily talk show, so we're all going to be remote. I'm trying to work out what's happening, so Tomorrow's Monday. TJ, it'll be you and I. And then GB, you'll be doing Hump Day Replay remotely. That'll be coming out on Wednesday. Yep, I've got to figure out how to do that. Yeah, no, I'll help with that. That's fine. And then we have Too Much Telly Episode 2. When's that coming out, Jess? Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. That's the way that you remember it. Are we going to go 5 PM every Every Tuesday morning.

George: Get out in the morning. Yeah, no, we decided—

Unknown: yeah, yeah, TBC. No, in the— definitely in the morning. What time? Now Apple Podcast is shit though, so yeah, in the morning.

Josh: Okay, great.

Tommy: Takes too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, producer Jess.

Josh: That was great. Great. See you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: Have a good one. See you guys. Bye.