Optics, Almonds & Asthma with Toni Lodge

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 780.

Tommy: Toni Lodge, welcome to the studio.

Toni: Hi, thanks for having me.

Tommy: Hey, how are you?

Toni: Should I clap as well?

Josh: Yeah, you can.

Toni: Yeah, I'm good. How are you?

Tommy: Well, yeah, yeah, we're very good.

Josh: How are you?

Tommy: How are you, Josh?

Josh: I'm great, I'm really good. Um, my eyes twitching. You were saying about twitching of eyes.

Toni: Almonds.

Tommy: Yeah, hang on, will you? I didn't know, like, you seem like a real jokester. I just would love it if you said almonds and the next day he's eating almonds and then you're like, joke, I was fucking just, I came up with a word.

Toni: Nah, if I was joking I would have said anal sex.

Josh: And so what's the deal with the almonds?

Toni: I don't know, literally when I was in year 9 I had a twitchy eye and my music teacher, Miss Stewart, it didn't work though, um, and she said, oh, almonds for a twitchy eye, that'll be really good, and I've just said it to everybody ever since.

Tommy: Oh, it is one of those things you pass on that you hear. I'm actually going to look it up.

Mason: Almonds for— It's because they're high in magnesium.

Tommy: Okay.

Mason: And a jumpy eye is triggered by magnesium deficiency.

Toni: It'll be the magnesium.

Tommy: I mean, but is being tired like, is that when your magnesium is depleted? Because I feel like you are just tired.

Josh: I could actually do, but we know if I have too much magnesium, I actually got woken up by my—

Tommy: That'd be a lot of anal sex.

Josh: No, I got woken up by my own erection once due to having too much magnesium. Is that— It's a thing.

Toni: Is it really?

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I woke up like—

Toni: Oh my God.

Tommy: I wonder if you are magnesium sensitive like people are caffeine sensitive.

Josh: I am, I'm a sensitive guy.

Tommy: No, because some people are like, like they have a sweet coffee and they're flying. So there's just a real sensitivity. And then some people the other way. I don't feel like, I feel like I would need something like Viagra to get me going.

Josh: For your eyes.

Toni: So that's the anal sex for the twitchy eyes.

Josh: Do you do any sort of, you know—

Toni: Anal sex. That's very personal. We're in the first 5 minutes.

Josh: No, I was going to say, are we good, guys? Wow. Sorry. The smut level here. No, it's good. I mean, so Miranda Kerr, she does lemon water. Do you have any rituals that you do every single day?

Toni: Just try and get out of bed. That's basically it. No, I don't have anything.

Josh: What time do you get up?

Toni: Like 4:30. For work.

Josh: So, it's ridiculous.

Toni: Is it?

Josh: I think 4:30 in the morning.

Toni: I don't like the trading.

Tommy: I was listening to like a, what is it? Like an opt— What do they call it? Like an opt—

Toni: Optometrist?

Tommy: No, like a life optimist. Optimising their life, but they've got a title.

Josh: It's like productivity expert.

Tommy: Yeah, that kind of thing. I was listening and it was like, you know, salt in water with lemon.

Unknown: Yeah.

Tommy: I'll put your phone in there. I was just like, put your phone phone in the other room, but it was all just, it just seems so boring.

Toni: If I took my phone in the other room, I'd have anxiety because I was like, oh, my alarm's in there, so I can't cheque it 60 times before I go to bed.

Tommy: Or yeah, that's the example he gave. And then it was like, uh, right, uh, you know, radio alarms, they're only $20.

Josh: Oh, to get it.

Tommy: Yeah, to get one to put in your room.

Josh: He works for Commercial Radio Australia.

Toni: What was going on? But you know those old alarms, how they go, uh, uh, uh, when they go off? Oh God. I can't think of anything worse than waking up to, meh, meh, meh.

Josh: Here's a little hack. Do you know if you're like walking in the street, you're not feeling safe, what would you do if you're in a situation where—

Toni: Scream.

Josh: Scream. Well, how about this? So, a little hack that I told Bree about is about the side thing.

Toni: The home button.

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Amazing.

Josh: And so, what you do is all you do is you press the side, the power button. So, actually, if I'm walking on my own, and there's a lot of junkies around, I don't feel safe. If you press it a bunch of times, the power button, it goes into an emergency mode and it calls 000.

Toni: Yeah. And it uses your GPS to ping them.

Tommy: Really?

Mason: Yeah.

Toni: Tells you where you are.

Josh: And it's really loud. Like, I feel like that would be something that would, you know.

Toni: Because if there was someone coming at you and that, that like signal noise happened, that you would shit yourself.

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Surely. I mean, I'm not a rapist, but I would hope that someone that was would be scared of that.

Josh: You think? You'd think. You had a game for us, TJ.

Tommy: Yeah. So, I'm the game guy.

Toni: Hang on.

Tommy: I need some water. Do you know what a proverb is?

Mason: Yeah.

Toni: Like fall 7 times, stand up 8.

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Toni: Wow.

Tommy: Fall 7, stand up 8.

Toni: That's like an ancient Japanese proverb.

Josh: Can you say it again for me?

Toni: Fall 7 times, stand up 8. That's a proverb, right?

Tommy: Well, no, that is an example of a proverb. I don't know.

Josh: Can I do one?

Tommy: Well, I've got— This game is, can you finish the proverb? Like, there's a bunch that are less kind of like tricksy or like that. I have to think. I'm like, what's going on there? So, this is the game is I'll start the sentence and you got to finish it. Finish the proverb.

Unknown: You good?

Josh: Yeah. Real men eat—

Tommy: Almonds.

Toni: Anal sex.

Josh: Anal sex.

Tommy: Yeah, it's close, actually. Very close. Okay. A penny saved— finish.

Mason: Is a penny earned.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: A dollar earned.

Tommy: No, that's not—

Josh: Yeah, yeah. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Toni: You don't earn money though if you save money.

Tommy: Well, Barefoot would have something else to say.

Toni: Your splurge account.

Tommy: Well, he says the quickest way to make money is to save money. So it's like, how can you get a discount on it?

Josh: It's really boring, to be honest. Yeah.

Tommy: Too many cooks.

Toni: In the kitchen.

Josh: Spoil the broth.

Tommy: Yes. Yeah.

Unknown: I think I get the same as you.

Josh: TJ, can you watch your face? You're like really— Yeah, there you go.

Tommy: What's going on?

Josh: You just went in the middle of the shot.

Tommy: Oh, okay. Love makes a house grow stronger. A home.

Mason: Yeah. Good one, G.B.

Toni: That sounds like it would be on a vinyl sticker in your mum's kitchen, doesn't it?

Josh: You can't take off. Do you have any magnets on your sticker? Sorry, any magnets on your fridge?

Toni: Um, I have one that says, living the dream, not mine, somebody else's, which is just sad.

Josh: What about like bills? Because we don't even—

Tommy: who gave that to you? What sad person?

Mason: Or did you buy it?

Toni: No, I think we got it sent to us at work and I was like, oh, that's a huge magnet, I'll cut that up and make little magnets. But it's just sitting there. Who looks at a big magnet like this?

Josh: Bills? Because like, I realised like when I was a kid, I feel like there would be bills all over the fridge. Yeah, yeah, we have nothing on our fridge.

Tommy: E-bills.

Toni: Yeah, emails. Yeah, you don't print your bills anymore.

Josh: No, no.

Unknown: I've got a bill on my fridge.

Josh: Really? What sort of bill?

Unknown: Water bill. And I wrote paid on it and underlined it.

Toni: Why don't you cheque it out?

Unknown: I don't know, it just feels real adult to have a bill on your fridge.

Toni: Yeah, you know, it's a good flex.

Mason: Because you paid. Did you pay for it or was it shared?

Unknown: Well, I pay for it.

Toni: You said that a water bill costs like $7.

Unknown: I pay for it, then everyone pays me like $30 for the month or whatever. Really?

Josh: It costs you $7 and you get $30 from it. That was too generous.

Tommy: All right, here we go.

Toni: It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Tommy: Got it.

Josh: Is that from a—

Mason: Oh, that's good.

Toni: That's a beautiful one.

Unknown: Sounds like an Ariana Grande song.

Toni: Yeah, that's how I knew it.

Josh: Really?

Toni: No, no. All is fair in love and war.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Geez.

Tommy: How do you know these? Because I haven't heard of them.

Toni: They're just like chick flicks and—

Josh: Okay.

Mason: Yeah, they are.

Josh: See, are you good at trivia?

Toni: No, no, not very smart. Just good at jokes, which isn't what this is.

Josh: No, I don't know.

Unknown: Proverbs.

Tommy: Every man's home.

Josh: Every man's home.

Toni: You take this one.

Josh: Is another man's treasure.

Tommy: Is his castle.

Josh: Okay. That's a little bit old school.

Tommy: If the shoe fits.

Toni: Wear it. Got it.

Tommy: I don't know why. A woman's work—

Josh: Here we go.

Toni: Should be in the kitchen.

Josh: Is never done. It's never done.

Toni: That is also true.

Tommy: What does that mean?

Mason: I don't know.

Tommy: A woman's work— When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Yeah.

Mason: My soccer coach loved it.

Toni: Really?

Mason: Loved it.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: What an inspirational guy.

Mason: He also loved the word lethargic. Boys, you're being a bit lethargic.

Josh: Is that why you're a world-class I'm a soccer player now.

Tommy: It's like you get onto a new word and your word at the moment's Josh. Can anyone guess what his word is? Because you come like, you got, you're very cyclical in your sort of vocab. And then what drops off is the stuff that you probably were like, mm, didn't have.

Unknown: I reckon I've got it.

Mason: Okay, here we go.

Unknown: Hyperbolic.

Tommy: No, that's been a previous, but I think it's stuck. There was definitely a time where it was.

Josh: Posture. I said posture.

Tommy: No, no, no, no.

Toni: What is it? Amalgamation.

Josh: That's a good one. Ambiguity, I say a lot.

Mason: Yeah, you do love ambiguity.

Tommy: Yeah. And Mase? If you got it, Tony, I'd be fucking—

Toni: I mean, should I just start saying big words?

Josh: Yeah. No, I don't know.

Toni: Hippopotamus.

Tommy: No, no, it's not big and it's quite simple, but you've definitely been flaunting it.

Toni: Cathartic.

Mason: No, TJ does a bit of cathartic.

Tommy: Yeah, cathartic. Yep, I like that one.

Mason: What's the, um, What's the word for, uh, blow up? Not like I'm—

Josh: I'm about to fume.

Mason: No, it's like fuming.

Josh: Oh yeah, I'm ropeable. That's when you haven't been doing your shit.

Tommy: Yeah, optics. Oh yeah, everything's optics. Give Tony an example.

Josh: Uh, the example would be, um, Oh, look, I was going to—

Toni: You can't even say it.

Josh: No, I can't. No, no, no. I don't know. The optics aren't good on this one. And it's like—

Toni: Like the outlook or like literally the optics?

Josh: The optics. It's a very PR, PR, PR.

Tommy: Do you know? Can you even explain what you think that means? Because I had to— It took me about 10 times of just accepting it and then just working out. I feel like I was really dumb. It's a simple word, but how would you describe? What is it?

Toni: Well, if you said to me, oh, the optics aren't good on that one, I would probably think that you were saying it like, oh, the outlook's not good. Like, oh, that's not looking good. Like, I probably wouldn't think you were using it literally and telling me about the optics of something, which is the way that it looks, I guess. Like the—

Tommy: Yeah, that's it. So it's like how people are viewing it.

Josh: The optics.

Toni: That's so wanky.

Tommy: It is.

Josh: The optics. I didn't want to say it, but thank you. The optics. Yeah, I can stop saying it.

Tommy: No, I just— Where did you get it from? Because you get these things, you read a book and it's in there and you resonate with it.

Josh: I feel like potentially maybe the politics at the moment. I think that like with every— Like with the US and everything's around optics, like I think especially within sort of the political scene.

Tommy: They're using that term.

Josh: But they're also doing a lot in regards to optics. So, it's like, oh, this is a really good— Good for optics. So, for instance, how about—

Mason: US or Australian?

Josh: US. So, Donald Trump going to that church or whatever, like it was an— for optics, but it was a horrendous—

Tommy: I think it gets lost in people.

Toni: Optics.

Tommy: Listening to it.

Josh: So, an optics. So, an example would be, so, if I was to do an optics. So, for instance, it could be TJ posts something.

Toni: Oh, we can't.

Tommy: Way to bring that up.

Toni: That's actually really rude.

Josh: Yeah. No, but say optically it's not great, which is— Yeah, I get, I get that's a one.

Tommy: So it's like the eyes on you because you're always using it like, what are the optics on the Daily Talk Show at the moment? What are people thinking? Which you could just say, what are people thinking about the Daily Talk Show? But the optics—

Josh: I never say what are the optics on the Daily Talk Show at the moment.

Tommy: No, but I was giving an example. I don't know, mate. Did you just realise how fucking wanky it is?

Josh: Yeah, no, I get it. I get it.

Tommy: So I got cathartic from Rhys Mitchell.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: Which, yeah, I think it's timeless.

Josh: I'm lethargic. Lethargic? Yeah, very lethargic.

Tommy: Lethargic.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Have you got any words in your— like, you're— so you're working at Kiss with Jason PJ and the crew. Is there a—

Josh: That's what the show's called? It sounds like a breakfast show. Jason PJ and the crew.

Toni: Oh, that'd be a better show.

Tommy: Is there any words flying around the team that are sort of specific to that friendship circle or walking moment?

Toni: Nothing, no specific words. We just make fun of Jase. Like, so there'll be funny words that he, or like terms of phrase, turns of phrase that he'll use wrong. Like, you know how it's like case in point, not casing point, and things like that. So that's normally what flies around with us.

Tommy: Well, yeah, it's real bullying, just bullying Jase.

Josh: Yeah, you get away with it. I think it's, yeah.

Tommy: When you're on the money, Jaycee. So what was it?

Unknown: In—

Tommy: I used to say in the walls, like, and I just thought you're bumping into the walls and you're injured.

Toni: But it's in the wars.

Tommy: In the wars. I mean, it's a very just modern-day in the wars because we're not in war. Some people are, I guess. Sorry if you are. But yeah, that was my one, and people used to pull me up on that shit.

Josh: Well, it's I swallow my L's.

Toni: Okay.

Tommy: Do you know what that means?

Toni: No.

Josh: So, GB, can you explain it? Your mum brought it up.

Tommy: Yeah.

Unknown: And speaking of, she actually messaged me after the Erica show and she said, Josh says small, like smol instead of small.

Toni: That's a Victorian thing though, isn't it?

Josh: This is what we're saying.

Unknown: Victorians swallow their L's.

Tommy: Are you from Melbourne?

Toni: No, I'm from WA.

Josh: Whereabouts in WA?

Tommy: Perth. This is relatable for Sevs, he's dating a Perthianite.

Mason: Oh, Perthianite, is that what you call them?

Josh: I do what I want.

Toni: No, Perthian. Nah, or for a while it was Perthianality. Yeah, we're probably sisters, probably went to school It's all together.

Josh: And so, yeah, no, I swallow my L's. So, an example would be I fixed it. So, I used to say million, millions.

Tommy: No, you said it today and you fixed it.

Mason: Yeah, I haven't fixed it.

Tommy: And at that moment, I realised that I want you to be the guy that doesn't say millions right.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Like, I just want—

Unknown: I think your voice is great. I love the way you pronounce stuff.

Tommy: I think it sounds more dumb when you say that it correctly.

Mason: Millions.

Tommy: Because you overemphasise.

Mason: You go so like millions. Yeah.

Josh: I have to slow it down. The other one, what else? So, there's millions, billions. Billions. Billions is the obvious one.

Tommy: Millions.

Toni: Cool. Chameleon.

Josh: Chameleon.

Tommy: Chameleons.

Josh: Chameleon.

Toni: Chameleon air.

Josh: Are there any sort of words that people in WA say funny or any sort of?

Toni: I don't think so. I mean, there definitely are like we call things bathers and not togs or togs.

Josh: Well, bathers is right.

Toni: Or do you say bathers?

Mason: I say togs.

Tommy: Sydney's togs. Sydney's swimmers' togs.

Mason: New Zealand's swimmers'.

Josh: Anything that's caught out the Jason PJ show with mention, like getting something wrong. Like I can imagine suburbs, you could call it Berwick instead of Berwick or something like that.

Toni: We have a lot. And because we only have one person on our team that's actually from Melbourne. So, see, I've fixed my Melbourne. Now I sound like I'm from Melbourne.

Unknown: That's the other one.

Josh: How did you used to say it?

Toni: Well, Melbourne is how, like if you're from WA.

Josh: I say Melbourne.

Toni: You just say Melbourne.

Unknown: Victoria, you guys say Al.

Toni: Melbourne.

Unknown: If you said the word element. Say element. Element. Yeah.

Mason: Element. Element.

Tommy: Oh, like A-L. Yeah.

Josh: What do you say?

Mason: How do you say element?

Unknown: Element.

Toni: So, it'd be a hard E. Like Saturday night.

Josh: Okay.

Toni: L. But then if you said, if I said, what the hell? You'd say, what the hell?

Tommy: Yeah.

Mason: What the hell?

Josh: Yeah.

Unknown: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: It's really fucked up, isn't it? Because like, you realise it, like there's so many things that I've been saying wrong. Australia is the other one. So, I used to say it. Australia. Australia.

Tommy: He ate it. He was hungry.

Josh: Australia. And so now I say Australia.

Toni: But it's funny because you fuck it up in a different place than other people do. So, like, I would say like Australia.

Josh: Australia.

Toni: Which is like pretty common.

Mason: Yeah.

Toni: But you say Australia.

Josh: It's like you get lazy and you just fuck it up.

Mason: Australia.

Toni: Australia.

Josh: Australia. Something nice about Australia.

Toni: Australia. Like, who would say that? Australia. Welcome to Australia.

Josh: Yeah, you gotta just do you, mate.

Tommy: It's hard to switch it up. Yeah, like when it hasn't been a real problem. It's not a problem now, is it?

Josh: I think it's not. It's all fine.

Toni: I'm only mildly offended.

Josh: What was ISO like for you? Did you enjoy ISO?

Toni: It wasn't actually so bad. Like, so I was working from home and I work breakfast hours, so I'm up at 4:30 or 5 and finish finished work by like 12 or 1 o'clock, and then I just sat on the couch. That got pretty old. That did get pretty old.

Josh: Do you watch TV or like what?

Toni: Yeah, watch TV and like got books on my iPad and things like that. Like, so I was trying to read and like do other things that weren't just watching TV because I mean everybody's in the same boat. Like, you just get fucking sick of watching TV. Like, there's only so many terrible plot points you can take, and like how many times can you rewatch Gossip Girl? Yeah, that's true.

Josh: I get that. On the boat thing, very quickly, I heard a great saying or a mention. Proverb? Proverb. It could be a proverb. It's, we're not on the same boat. We're all in different boats in the same storm.

Tommy: Pauline Hanson.

Josh: No, you thought that was very funny, was it? That came, that joke was from you, wasn't it? You said that joke? No. You just said, no, as in you just said that. Pauline Hanson.

Tommy: I just made that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I could.

Josh: You laughed like it came from someone else. It was such a good reaction.

Tommy: I was surprised myself.

Josh: Yeah, no, because like the idea being that it's like, so my apartment, which you've criticised me previously about flexing my apartment.

Toni: It's very fancy. It's like floor-to-ceiling windows. Who needs that?

Josh: But if you've got a small apartment, it's easy to do, right? Because the floor and the ceiling aren't that far away.

Toni: But like, because it's in your bedroom, right?

Josh: Yeah.

Unknown: So, I've asked the same questions.

Toni: Like how, what, you're just like walking from the shower to your bed to like get into your jammies or like doing it in gine with your girlfriend, like, then what happens?

Josh: I think I, um, electric blinds.

Tommy: Smart blinds.

Toni: Blinds down.

Josh: No, I've got one of those. No, how about those, um, you press the button and it does it, sends an electric signal to the, um, to frost it.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, that's real fancy shit.

Tommy: Steve Bezos shit.

Josh: But anyway, Steve, it's like a Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos. He would have it as well.

Unknown: He'd have a fair bit of cash.

Tommy: Jeff and I'm not used to all this stuff.

Josh: Steve! Steve? Would he even exist? Now go back to your face-off. No, no. So I was just saying being in a different boat now— so do you have a nice place to be able to enjoy and sit on the couch?

Toni: Yeah. I mean it's not huge like we've just got a 2-bedroom apartment but it's only my boyfriend and I. So it's not as if we've got housemates we had to deal with or anything like that. And we've got a pretty big balcony as well. So I like, you know, you could sit outside and have a coffee and it didn't feel like you were inside the whole time. The only thing I lament is that I don't have a bath. Do you have a bath?

Josh: No, I don't think.

Toni: How nice is a bath?

Tommy: I mean, it's crucial. I wouldn't give a shit about them, but for a baby, you need a bath early days.

Toni: I'm a parent.

Unknown: Yeah.

Josh: It's very true. Don't recommend either.

Tommy: Don't recommend a bath or a kid. It's actually, it's great. Getting kids into the shower is the best.

Josh: That sounds horrible. But getting your kids into the shower stage is the best. That's what Steve said. Steve Peacockson said that. Are you a radio, are you a radio person? Do you like, no, you don't go on radio today?

Toni: Nah, I'm not really. It's funny, like, because I kind of got into radio by accident. So I started working with all these people that were like, oh, well, you would know so-and-so and blah blah. And I remember 12 years ago when this happened, I was like, No, like I'm so not from this world.

Josh: How did you get into it?

Toni: Well, I was studying sound engineering at WAAPA in WA. So it's the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts.

Tommy: Oh, it's where Hungry Jack started.

Josh: Very good, WAAPA.

Tommy: Hugh Jackman was there.

Toni: Lucy Jurak. She went to WAAPA.

Tommy: Some big names.

Josh: And so you were— so what is a sound— what did you call it, a sound engineer?

Toni: Yeah. Yep. So I studied sound engineering and it was like, so it's all audio production, but it's based in theatre and live. So like live music and doing musical theatre and stuff. And I wanted to do that. And then someone called me and they were like, oh, there's this job going at SCA. Like, I think you'd be really good for it.

Tommy: And I was like, how bad could it be?

Toni: Yeah, I'm working at Coles. Like, I'd probably rather do that. So yeah.

Josh: And then I got the job. Coles Radio, I believe they're ranking number one.

Toni: Yeah, they do really well. And it's actually a bit of a bop. Like, you can stream it online. It's pretty good.

Tommy: I'm pretty sure their winning formula is just music.

Josh: Yeah. Well, the reason why they— because they are actually number one in the digital. Yeah. And it's because they're on in every store. It's a way of them getting around the APRA and PPCA stuff, I believe, the licensing.

Toni: That's interesting.

Josh: Yeah, it's a little tidbit. Talking about tidbits, is it tid-bit? Tid-bit? I think.

Toni: Yeah. T-I-D-B-I-T. A tid-bit.

Josh: Anyway, I am— I was watching a, uh, actually, no, I want to find out about this audio thing quickly. So, so what— so an audio engineer?

Toni: Yep.

Josh: You're doing like— were you doing Pro Tools and shit then?

Toni: Or, um, so I learned all the basics of Pro Tools and using all of the like audio-based like DAW software and stuff. And it was also about like how you would set up a live show, like mix a band live, um, work with radio microphones on a theatre show. So using like 20 radio microphones and stuff like that, like, which is really, really cool.

Josh: Any battery tips? How do you keep that amount of wireless?

Toni: No, no, just fresh batteries every show. Okay, don't use rechargeables is basically the only—

Josh: oh really?

Mason: Yeah, really.

Toni: That's— I mean, they're a lot better now, like, I think they get better all the time, but they're just fucked. And they say like on the little bar charge thing, like, oh, fully charged, but don't fuck with me, you're not fully charged.

Josh: Fake news. Yeah.

Toni: Steve Bezos needs to figure that out.

Josh: Lift his game. Because there's the head microphones and stuff, so they put them in the hair so you don't see them.

Toni: Yeah, so like it's like a lapel microphone that they put through their hair or under a wig and it sits there instead of it being like the Madonna microphone that goes over your ears.

Tommy: Looks like a small growth just at the forehead.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I've seen some actually come down onto the skin. Bizarre. It's really bizarre.

Toni: But it's a really good spot because like the way that you project when you're singing because it's normally used in musical theatre, the way that you project, like, it's actually like a really good point to pick up.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Which you wouldn't think, like, you would think that that would be awful, but—

Tommy: Should we start using them on the show? Get rid of these mics?

Toni: You could dance at the same time.

Josh: Can you sing?

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: What sort of singing?

Toni: I studied opera when I was at school.

Josh: So studying opera, is that at high school? Yeah.

Toni: So that's like the— music discipline. Is that the word you would use? Yeah. So like I did, I was in the choir and stuff. And then when I got a bit older, they were like, oh, I reckon you'd be really good at that. Because I did like classical music and contemporary music at school.

Josh: So like Christmas carols? What? Can you do Christmas carols?

Toni: Yeah, who can't do— Oh, should we release a Christmas album? Because that is my dream.

Josh: I would love for— So Mr. 97, what did you do? Oh, what were you?

Mason: You were— I did probably like 6 months of the Australian Boys Choir.

Toni: Oh my God, what a turn-on.

Josh: No, it's great.

Toni: No wonder you've got a girlfriend now.

Josh: I know. Would you have almonds with him?

Toni: Don't know about the almonds, but the anal sex, yes.

Tommy: How old were you, Seb?

Mason: I would have been—

Toni: Sorry, was that too much?

Mason: Yeah, well, year 4. Year 4.

Unknown: Year 4?

Mason: Oh my God.

Toni: Oh, little. Oh, I can't talk about anal sex. You're fine.

Josh: And so, and so is there a difference between like, so the opera stuff, does that mean like, did you learn Italian or anything too?

Toni: It was just like the— so you learn, you're given like the manuscript that's got like the Italian underneath it and then they often give you like a rough translation so that you know what you're saying and you're not just saying like, I love Trump or something. And but I didn't learn Italian. It was just that you do Like, so you workshop a certain piece that you're given to the point where you are very aware of like pronunciation and the way that like you should or shouldn't like roll your Rs or whatever. So like obviously Italian is really different to German, which is really different to Latin. So the way that I would read that as like a disgusting English speaker is obviously totally different to how it actually needs to come across.

Tommy: So it's almost like you need to put on an accent when you're speaking.

Toni: Yeah.

Tommy: Don't you reckon?

Toni: Like, but it's like how most like pop singers sound American, even if they're like Aussie or like European or something. They all sound the same.

Tommy: Yeah, well, Shakira, when she— sometimes she's singing where she sounds— you wouldn't know that she has a thick accent like she actually does.

Toni: Yeah, love Shakira.

Josh: Are you on— so do you do much on social media? Like, are you like a— I can't do it.

Tommy: That hurts, Tony. That hurts.

Toni: Oh, sorry. Sorry, that was rude.

Josh: I just want like, do you like TikTok and stuff? Like, I feel like you're a sceptical person.

Toni: I have tried.

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: I've posted probably like 6 videos on TikTok. They have not gone well.

Josh: What sort of vibe? What were you doing?

Toni: Oh, just trying to be funny. I posted the funniest TikTok, which I thought was hilarious. And it did shit. Well, I found out who's the guy that plays Batman.

Tommy: Which one?

Unknown: Christian Bale.

Toni: Christian Bale. I found out that— I literally think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen, and I made it. I found out that he's Welsh. Yeah. And I was like, imagine if he did Batman. He was like, I'm Batman, I am, like a Welsh person. You guys don't think it's that funny? I literally thought that was the funniest thing in the world, and it did not do well.

Tommy: I've always— so Tom Hardy's English as well. And there's a bunch of actors that are all doing American.

Josh: So, Welsh. I'm going to sound like a dummy.

Tommy: I don't know.

Josh: What does that mean? Welsh?

Toni: From Wales.

Tommy: Wales is a part. Is that a different country?

Unknown: West of England, I believe.

Toni: You've never seen Gavin and Stacey?

Josh: No, I don't watch much anything other than Scotland, Wales.

Unknown: Yeah.

Josh: UK. Welsh.

Unknown: I think.

Mason: I think it is UK.

Tommy: From the UK.

Toni: Yeah.

Tommy: No, I appreciate that joke.

Toni: Maybe not the new UK. Maybe. Are they Brexited? Oh, let's not get into it.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so, uh, do you watch TikTok as well?

Toni: Yeah, I love TikTok. I probably won't watch it for a while, and then it will be like a week or two, and then I'll time sync like an hour catching up. Yeah. And then, because you just scroll through it. Like, do you guys watch TikTok?

Tommy: Sometimes.

Toni: Yeah. Like, you just sit there.

Unknown: It's a time sync.

Toni: And because I only—

Josh: Actually, we need to connect a, um, using that, like they're getting used to like login via Twitter or Instagram or whatever, and they've removed that. So, you need to really create like a password. Just a fun fact.

Tommy: Oh, look, I've lost connection to my Airbnb because it was through Facebook.

Josh: Oh, really?

Mason: Oh, that's annoying. No.

Tommy: Fucking silly.

Josh: Are you a traveller? Do you go to many places? Or like, what's your—

Toni: I've been to Japan a couple of times. I went to Europe with my mum when I was like 14, which was awesome. But as an adult, like, because I left school and I went straight to uni, so, and then I started working radio, so I've got no money. So I haven't done a lot as an adult, but now that we're kind of settled here, 'cause we've been in Melbourne for 2 years now. So my boyfriend followed me from Perth to Bunbury in regional WA where I started working in radio to Sydney and then here. He came with me.

Josh: It's a real love story.

Tommy: When were you in Bunbury?

Toni: Beautiful. When?

Tommy: Was Ryan John there?

Toni: No, just missed him. Yep, just missed him. Yeah, why the fuck?

Josh: And so the travel thing.

Toni: So, right, sorry, I'll just stop talking.

Josh: And so the travel thing. So domestically, like Sydney, Melbourne, like different, like living in the different areas.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: Is Melbourne like, where does it rate?

Toni: Oh, I much prefer Melbourne. When I first met my boyfriend, we both wanted to end up in Melbourne. Then when I started working in radio, I was like, oh, it's really far away, like that's probably not gonna happen for a while. And then I got really lucky and yeah, ended up here like really quickly. And I love it here. Like we lived in Sydney for 6 months and then I got offered the job with Jason PJ down here and I love it. Like, and it's quite similar to Perth. Like it's very friendly, it's a bit more laid back, like pretty cultury and like lots of good food and places to walk and do stuff. Whereas Sydney, I just found like super intense, the people were pretty rude, like driving on the road, it was terrifying. Everybody was like super like fucking aggressive on the road, which like it's just not what you like. Like you're trying to look at your Google Maps, you're trying to like get around, and you realise that you've just paid $50 in tolls because you've gone on the wrong side of the road or whatever. And like it's too much.

Josh: It is the, um, yeah, the Sydney thing. I feel like it's not just a CBD thing either. Like I think like it's, I guess they've got all their, um, like suburbs feel very separated and shit like that.

Toni: Yeah. And it's just very clicky. And like most people that you talk to that are from Sydney are like that as well.

Josh: I mean, like they'll ask like, what part of Sydney?

Toni: Like, it's not like, oh cool, you're from Sydney. It's like, oh well, what part? It's not from the west, is it? I don't even know what that means, but I'm just like, I hope I don't say that I am if it's bad.

Tommy: Like, Sydney is huge though. Like, there is a big difference in Melbourne. You've got like, you love Sydney. I love it. I agree. Are you from Sydney? No, my wife is though. Oh, okay. Do you want to know which part?

Josh: Yep.

Tommy: Fuck off. No, no, she's from not the—

Josh: oh, maybe the west?

Tommy: No.

Josh: Where is she from?

Toni: Tell us.

Tommy: Castle Hill, Toongabbie.

Toni: What street?

Mason: I don't know.

Tommy: Toongabbie.

Toni: Don't love her.

Tommy: From the north. Maybe it is the west. No, west is like Punchbowl, isn't it?

Toni: I don't think so.

Tommy: Yeah. It's, you know, have to do the—

Toni: Yeah, never entertain sexy women.

Josh: Yeah, that was— I never understood that one.

Tommy: I didn't take that to heart. That's how I got my wife. No, it's very like, it's— you got the city and then you've got like—

Toni: You've got a twitchy eye, I tell you what.

Tommy: You've got Parramatta. It's another city.

Unknown: Okay.

Tommy: Did you go to Parramatta?

Toni: Like, is that the shire?

Tommy: No, no, that's like down the coast.

Toni: But what's that? No, no, it's not down the coast.

Tommy: Well, if you call it the coastline and then you follow it down. Sydney, listen to this.

Unknown: This is the Shire.

Tommy: Hating this. Cronulla is the Shire. And that's down on the coast. Parramatta is— we went there, Josh.

Josh: I can't remember shit.

Tommy: We went, we filmed the RWW case study. But it's like a fucking city.

Toni: It's like a different place.

Tommy: We don't have anything like that. Like Melbourne is very small. Sydney's more like London, like the intensity of it's so big and there's so many people.

Toni: But not as cool.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: What's that, shit public transport in Sydney?

Toni: Fucking expensive.

Tommy: Really? I reckon better. Better.

Mason: Melbourne's got great public transport.

Toni: Much better.

Tommy: Trams.

Josh: Is Grace still driving you in?

Tommy: There's a train that goes to the airport. There's no train that goes to the airport in Melbourne.

Mason: That's— I mean, that doesn't make up everything.

Tommy: Well, makes up a huge part.

Unknown: No trams.

Tommy: No trams at all. Yeah, there is in the CBD.

Toni: The train to get to the airport in Sydney though is like $40.

Tommy: $40? No, I used to do it all the time. How much was it? Okay, $19 each way.

Mason: Okay. Oh yeah, which is—

Toni: what did you say? $19 each way?

Josh: $38 bucks.

Toni: Yeah, yeah, I'll just go fuck myself.

Josh: Have a couple almonds.

Tommy: How much is the, um, the SkyBus? Have you done that?

Mason: I think it's like— yeah, $17.

Tommy: Why is it all just— but that's expensive.

Mason: Yeah, but the difference is public transport versus what?

Josh: I don't know, private or something. Yeah, I get it.

Tommy: Private.

Mason: If it's Skybus, it's private. Whereas like, you know, if Vic Rose is doing that.

Tommy: Fucking Steve Bezos. Private business.

Josh: I've been getting into, I don't watch that much TV, but I've been getting into YouTube, like short documentaries.

Toni: Oh, you would. You're that kind of person.

Tommy: It's all about the optics.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: Do you know what happened in the '50s about a Is it called a heist? What would you do? What's a heist? If you define a heist, what is it?

Toni: Like a bank heist?

Tommy: Train?

Mason: Like a robbery? Stealing?

Tommy: Robbery?

Toni: But like taking over, not just a robbery, like a fucking... Yeah.

Josh: Hostages. So, did you hear what happened with Qantas in the '50s? No.

Toni: Are you going to tell us about it?

Josh: Well, I will and then Seb's will back it up by looking it on Google. So, there was a Basically, Qantas got a call like, hey, the plane that's currently going to— I can't remember what part of Asia, but it was flying. It has a bomb on it. The bomb will go off if you slow down. No, you know, if you go, if you go below—

Toni: If Tom Cruise gets off this plane.

Josh: No, if it goes below a certain amount of feet, like it goes under a certain amount.

Unknown: Right.

Josh: This is a movie.. And so, basically, they were like, oh, what's happened?

Toni: So, they couldn't descend.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. And they were told to go to a locker in the airport. And in the airport, there was a replica of the bomb. They're asking for $550,000 in cash.

Toni: They could have asked for more than that, I reckon.

Josh: It was the '50s. Was it the '50s, Seth? When was it, Seth?

Mason: 1971.

Josh: '71. Sorry. Was there even planes in the '50s?

Toni: Yeah.

Tommy: Definitely, definitely.

Toni: In the '50s, what about planes?

Josh: When did commercial flights start?

Toni: What year did Amelia Earhart die? That'll help us.

Tommy: When did the Wright brothers invent the plane? That's not commercial.

Josh: I've got that book. I should read it. Anyway. You've got it for the optics, definitely. Optics. My whole bookshelf.

Mason: 1954, Qantas started international passenger flights.

Unknown: Yeah.

Josh: So, anyway, '70s. '70s, that's right. So, anyway, they go to a locker where the guy, his name was Mr. What was his name, Seb?

Mason: D.B.

Josh: Cooper. No, the guy.

Mason: Mr. Brown.

Josh: Mr. Brown.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Fake name.

Josh: Fake name.

Toni: Definitely.

Josh: Called himself Mr. Brown. He said, go to the locker, open it up. They see the bomb. And what they do is they cut the wire and there's like an altitude monitor. So, it will tell you what altitude the plane's at. And so, they actually, Qantas got the device. This is whilst the plane is still in the air. Get the device, they go into a plane. And they rewired the bomb. So, they put a light bulb on there. And so, they basically wanted to see whether if they actually went below that, what's it called? Elevation. Altitude. Thank you. If it would go off. And so, they do it, the light goes off and like, oh, fuck. It's real. Yeah. And so, they pay. So, the guy comes to the airport in like a combi van type of thing. Combi or combi?

Toni: Combi van. Well, fuck. Then I fucked it up when I was saying combi. Combi.

Josh: Combi.

Toni: Combi.

Josh: So, like a combi van.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: And gets the $550,000 cash. The guy's wearing a fake beard. Anyway, they, they do that. They then get a call from him and he's like, oh, there's no bomb, by the way. And so they only had 15 minutes of fuel left and they landed back in Sydney. So, they basically did a roundabout way. But I thought that was a fucked up storey that I'd never heard of before.

Mason: That's crazy.

Tommy: Yeah. And did they catch this? Asshole?

Josh: Yes.

Toni: Mr. Brown?

Josh: They ended up doing— Yeah, they caught him because he was spending the cash in ridiculous ways. He was a guy from England. Yeah, they found him.

Unknown: So, so he literally just walked into the airport, they gave him the cash and he left.

Josh: No, he was in the combi van.

Toni: With the fake beard.

Josh: With the fake beard. And so there's actual photos. There's fucking photos of him collecting them. They've got like, because they, they They got it in cash. They went to Commonwealth Bank and got the cash out.

Toni: Oh, you'd hope there wasn't a line, wouldn't you? Like, oh, can I come to the front? And there's some old granny with 5-cent pieces like, oh my God, okay, let's help our kids or something.

Josh: Like, are you good at admin?

Toni: Yeah, I am. I love to be organised.

Tommy: Really?

Toni: Yeah. Yep. I was probably part of like OCD brain.

Josh: You actual?

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: How OCD are you?

Toni: I just get— I just have a lot of OCD triggers. Like, so I wouldn't say that I like— it's debilitating.

Josh: Have you ever gone to it? Have you gone to a therapist or something about it?

Toni: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: So what do they say?

Toni: Um, yeah, and it's basically just like monitoring it and not letting myself like—

Unknown: letting—

Toni: but like, so at nighttime I'll set my alarm and then I'll cheque it 6 times. No more, no less. And then I'll, um, cheque and pick it up again, I'll cheque it 3 times, and then I put it back down, and then I cheque it again 3 times. And then probably I hate to tell you, but yeah, so kind of like that. And it's not always numbers, it's just like until it feels right. But yeah, like so things like that. And there's probably people listening like, that's not OCD, but it fucking is.

Tommy: Every night? Would it ever just been so tired you're like, fuck it?

Josh: No.

Tommy: What about if you have a day off and you don't have to wake up? Do you still put an alarm on?

Toni: No, no. So if I don't need an alarm, yeah, if I have to wake up for something, I will and I'll cheque it like in incessantly until, and then like I'll wake up an hour later, do it again, and then wake up an hour later, do it again. If I get into my car, I have to lock it 3 times with the like inside thing and like putting a glass down.

Tommy: Did this start when you started working in radio? Because radio is a fucking trigger.

Toni: Very stressful. And stressful. I get, yeah, it's been since I've been older. Like I never used to do it when I was younger, but I guess it's just part of like anxiety, not wanting to sleep in, like working breakfast radio. You have to have like such a strict regime. I don't know.

Josh: You're the one correcting words today.

Toni: I was going to say regime.

Mason: Regime.

Toni: Is that right?

Josh: I think it's combi.

Tommy: Gym regime. Work regime.

Mason: Regimen. Yeah. Regimen.

Tommy: Regimen.

Josh: Routine.

Toni: Should I say routine? Yeah.

Josh: We actually have a bunch of people who listen who are learning English and they want to learn an Australian accent. So, I feel like—

Toni: I fucked that right up for them. They're going to be really confused.

Josh: I do wonder what they get. Like, I would love to see like a bunch of Russians listen. I would love to see a Russian sounding like us. I think that would be really cool.

Mason: It's like the people that watch Friends and American TV shows to learn English. So, if we over 10 years, you just track their progress and by the end they're fluent.

Tommy: It's like kids that go to international schools and come out sounding American.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: There'll be a school of the daily talk show. They're all Aussie little bogans.

Josh: Sort of accent or whatever.

Toni: And they're saying "comfy" and "Steve Bezos." Bastards.

Josh: Uneducated group of individuals. How organised are you when it comes to audio files and archiving and things like that?

Toni: Well, me, well, the other audio producer, Jax, and I, we just have like a standard that we both do. So I guess it's like fairly well labelled so that we can both access anything if one of us isn't there or—

Josh: Any tips on how to organise files?

Toni: No, I definitely don't do it the best.

Tommy: How often are you saving if you're checking your phone? Like, do you save a lot on like Pro Tools or something?

Toni: Yeah, and I probably the same, probably like 3 times every time. Like, I'll Ctrl+S, Command+S, Command+S.

Tommy: It's the editing thing. I do it too. Like, I'm just—

Toni: Yeah, so it's probably a bit from that actually, like just like being so quick with my fingers. I just realised how that sounded. Yeah, like being like that, like that you just get really paranoid that your computer's going to crash or someone's going to walk past and knock it off the table or something crazy like that.

Tommy: You ever lost any? I remember, so I worked in the same studio as you before it looked as good as it does now. And one of the audio girls dropped a hard drive and it corrupted it or just like shook the internals and was fucked. Have you ever had anything horrible like that?

Toni: Yeah, when I was at uni though. So not as high stress, but like, yeah, I was at uni and I was working on a show and yeah, I had like an old My Passport. Hard drive that my mum actually bought with Flybuys points from memory.

Josh: Terrible use of points.

Tommy: Like I was Thunderbolt.

Josh: You could have gone first class to London.

Unknown: Yeah.

Josh: Get a MyPass, not even a passport, a hard drive.

Toni: It was a MyPassport.

Josh: Why do they call it a MyPassport, I wonder?

Toni: Is it because it was like the small portable one?

Josh: Oh yeah, it was the size of this. Because it was years ago.

Toni: Remember when you used to have to plug hard drives in?

Josh: Yeah, well you still do on the big desktoppy ones.

Toni: But like when you get like a hard drive and it was like 500 gig and you would have to plug it in.

Tommy: Oh, to power and shit.

Toni: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: No power on the USB.

Unknown: Yeah.

Toni: Back in the day. But yeah, and she, it was shit as well. Like, and I dropped it or something happened and it corrupted and I lost everything. This is not good chat, is it?

Tommy: No, it's not.

Toni: People aren't going to be interested in this.

Tommy: I mean, some of those on the, so the lacy hard drives have like, with the rugged edges, it could be driven over. Could be driven over. What fucking animal is trying to test that shit?

Toni: Yeah. Steve Bezos.

Tommy: Exactly.

Josh: So the radio, what was your biggest observation within radio? Like, how, how is it different to, to the regular world?

Toni: The regular world? Well, I've definitely learned a lot since being like in metro radio. Like, it works so differently from, from regional. So like for anybody that isn't familiar with the radio world, like when you work regional, it's like you have a lot less money, there's a lot less people, and the shows don't have producers the way that they do. Like, our team at Jason PJ is like 10 people.

Josh: So it seems like they're getting bigger. Like, I remember Kyle and Jack used to be the only big team like that. I used to work on Fifi and Jules, and even the breakfast team then would have been Matt and Joe, and they would have maybe 3 producers. And so it seems like it's— is that a move that like that 10 is a fucking lot of people?

Toni: Yeah, well, it's like, so most— I think Kyle and Jackie O still is the only other radio show that's got 2 audio producers. So we have 2 audio producers. We've got We've got 2 show producers and then our EP Jag, and then video guy Franco, and then Sash, our newsreader, and then Jason PJ. And then we've got also like our own BAM tactics person Cam, who looks after everything for like organising events and all of that kind of thing. So he's included in our close team, and that's 10 hopefully, unless I look like an absolute idiot.

Josh: And so the difference in the world, like what is the radio world? How do you describe it?

Tommy: What's the optics on it?

Josh: Yeah, what's the optics?

Toni: That's just, I don't even, I don't even know. I mean, you guys have worked in radio. It's like, it's its own beast. Like, it's, you kind of forget what it's like, what it would be like to work in like a normal functioning work environment. Like when you're not allowed to, you know, bully your colleagues and it's all okay. And I think because we spend so much time together that our personal relationship relationships are so much stronger than any other workplace I've worked in before, which I think we're pretty lucky to have on our team.

Josh: How do you manage that? Like, because that's what I'm trying to work out is like as a team, because you can hear like say the pre-show chat on the podcast and you hear like people can genuinely get upset or pissy or things like that. Like I guess there's an amplification that's happening from a personality perspective, but for the most part, real feelings, real emotions? Do you— they're safe words? How do you make sure that you don't actually go too far?

Toni: That's actually never come up. I think we just do it and hope that no one gets upset. But we definitely— there has been times where we've like probably gone too far, and then afterwards it's been like, oh mate, I'm really sorry. Like, oh, it was just for bands. Then you go, yeah, okay.

Josh: What are you playing?

Tommy: I was trying to— it's trying to— this should be— oh, it's because it's on silent.

Josh: What were you trying to find?

Tommy: The safe word. Oh yeah, I was using the siren.

Mason: Oh, it's not working.

Josh: Didn't work. Lucky, lucky you weren't in some sort of—

Tommy: No, I'm currently—

Josh: Did that really not work?

Tommy: I'm in real trouble. Did that really not work?

Mason: Do not disturb, is that why? Do not disturb?

Unknown: I don't know, surely it should work.

Josh: SOS.

Tommy: It's a bit out, it's gone out.

Josh: Yeah, you can do it. No, do it. Do the gear.

Tommy: No, it's like—

Mason: Oh, there you go.

Josh: He's called triple zero 3 times in the meantime.

Tommy: Oh, you don't have to wait till he gets to 3.

Toni: Nah, mine does. You must have the boy.

Tommy: Mine's lazy, mine kind of wants to get in trouble.

Josh: So are you someone that would go too far?

Toni: Like, yeah, all the time. Like, because I would do anything for a joke, and I expect that everybody is the same. Like, I really don't care what people say to me as long as it, like, it's good gear. Like, and that's fine. Then afterwards I might be upset and I'll get home and I'll talk to my boyfriend, I'll be like 'Someone was really mean to me today.' And he'd be like, 'Was it funny?' I'd be like, 'Yeah, it was.' Um, but yeah, and I forget that not everybody is like that. Like, not everyone's priority is the same, that like, as long as it's a gag, like, it's fine. Um, so I, um, yeah, I definitely take it too far.

Josh: Was that— were you like that as a kid?

Toni: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: What sort of shit would you do? Because I ruined every family event we ever had. We like By being there? Yeah. By doing shit that would upset people and cause rift. Like what? I handcuffed one uncle and because he said my handcuffs weren't real. And so I got them from Sovereign Hill. And so I put, I said, oh, put your hands behind your back. And I put them on, but I put them too tight. And then I pushed him onto my bed and he couldn't get up. Give me a couple of arms. Yeah. Yeah. And then. No, but then I took the handcuffs off and he grabbed me, grabbed my neck. It wasn't full-on, it wasn't full-on, but my mum then— I know, but then mum said, oh, why is your neck red? I was like, ah, yeah, Uncle blah blah fucking choked me out. Yeah, yeah, no, no, hashtag no names. And then mum cracked it and we didn't see them for 4 years. I felt bad because I was being a little asshole, but you shouldn't choke your kid, I guess.

Toni: But anything like that, handcuffed Uncle I feel like the tone of your voice and the way that you tell stories, that doesn't sound funny. It sounds like very intense. You're like, so I handcuffed my uncle and it was very serious. No, I'd never do anything like that. I think you might be alone.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Toni: Earlier you asked me if I'd been to therapy.

Josh: Have you? No, I can't. That's why I have a podcast.

Toni: No, I definitely didn't do anything like that. I guess I was pretty quiet and like just a super chubby kid that like didn't want any attention unless like it was funny. Like, so I didn't want anyone to like criticise me or like 'cause I'm like, no.

Josh: Like a class clown?

Toni: Yeah, I guess so. Like be self-deprecating to myself before somebody else could do it to me, which has followed on right into my late 20s, which is great.

Josh: So does the therapist say that that's good or bad or indifferent?

Toni: Oh no, that's not good. They don't like that.

Josh: Really?

Unknown: No.

Toni: No. And it's like, I don't know if you, I know you don't watch a lot of TV, but in Hannah Gadsby's like—

Josh: Lynette or Nanette?

Toni: Nanette.

Josh: Yeah. Fuck everything, don't I?

Toni: Lynette.

Josh: Lanette makes more sense, doesn't it? What's Nanette?

Toni: Isn't that a menstrual cup?

Tommy: I don't know.

Toni: I think it's actually a mate of hers.

Tommy: Yeah.

Toni: Or like a woman she knew or something. Because the new one is Douglas. That's her dog.

Josh: Okay.

Toni: But in that, she talks about like how in comedy, like the jokes that you make as a stand-up comedian, especially because you're not riffing off anyone, that it's just like so self-deprecating that you're just like destroying yourself like every time you get on stage that it's hard to not like let that eventually affect you and like really wear you down. And not saying that I'm a comedian on Hannah Gadsby's level or anybody's level, but I guess it's the same kind of thing that it's like if you jab yourself before somebody else can do it, then it's—

Josh: Yeah. Well, I definitely would do that.

Tommy: Is it an Aussie trait too? Or I mean, Hannah's Australian.

Josh: Yeah. I don't know. I think, yeah, there is just something around like, oh, if you get in first with the burn about yourself, then it dearms everyone because they can't do it.

Toni: But also because I'm not going to get up and like make fun of your glasses, but I could get up and make fun of my glasses. Yeah. Or, you know, as a stupid example, like, because what an asshole.

Tommy: Who's going to get up? But if you were to make fun of his glasses, what would you say?

Toni: I'd say they're fucking shit.

Josh: Hey, Steve Bezos. Wasn't that funny, Josh? It got a good response though.

Tommy: They're laughing because of her joke.

Josh: And so when was the first time you went? How old are you? How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

Toni: 26.

Josh: When was the first time you went to therapist?

Toni: Oh, probably when I was like 15. But for like actually fully going to a therapist that I actually really got along with, I started last year and I was seeing him for a year. And then actually recently, like a month ago, he was like, you don't need to come and see me anymore. Like you're fixed, babe.

Josh: Oh wow.

Tommy: That's a win.

Unknown: Yeah.

Toni: Well, surely.

Josh: He's just going on a holiday or something.

Toni: I'm like, yeah, now I don't have to pay $200 a month to come and see you.

Josh: Um, yeah, so what's the difference between going as a kid versus like finding something that actually makes sense?

Toni: I think as a kid I was just angry and like, fuck you, I don't want to talk to you about anything.

Tommy: And then like, were you made to go? I mean, made—

Josh: did they think that you had ADD or something?

Toni: No, I think it was just because I was depressed and they were like, oh my God, please don't do anything. And then, you know, they were like, oh, you've got a lot of anxiety, which I still have now, but like it's easier to manage. Um, oh guys, this is making me sound crazy.

Josh: Um, and then yeah, I think I just like just like didn't want it to work.

Toni: And then, um, yeah, last year I was just like, you know what, I'm fucking sick of feeling shit all the time. Um, and then yeah, like got really lucky with the GP that I really trusted, got really lucky with the therapist that I was seeing. And yeah, saw him for a year and like made heaps of, heaps of change.

Josh: Um, weekly or fortnightly or monthly?

Toni: Started weekly. Um, I probably saw him weekly for 3 months and then changed to fortnightly and then monthly and the last time that I saw him there'd been 6 weeks, which was huge. And he was like, yeah, I don't think you need to come in anymore.

Josh: Surely Breakfast Radio, he's like, that can't be good for your mental health.

Toni: It definitely doesn't help. Like, there's a certain amount of sleep you're supposed to get, and not just amount of sleep, but like time you're supposed to be asleep as well. Like, it's not natural to be up at 4 o'clock. Like, people that do shift, like nurses that do shift work overnight, like, it's just not It just throws your body out, doesn't it? Yeah. And it's just, it's so bad for you. And then like everybody would probably say like, oh, using your phone and having artificial light around you all the time is really bad for you as well. And your brain development and all of that, like whatever.

Josh: Your brain development. Comfy, comfy. That's what that, if I got an extra hour sleep, I reckon I would have gotten that. Okay.

Toni: You know? Yeah.

Tommy: Well, it's the, yeah, the blue light bullshit. You know, I mean, that's the same guy that I was listening to, the productivity expert. Do you know who he was? No, I'll find it for you. He was on reality shows, used to work in nightclubs.

Toni: Kim Kardashian.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. No, but I was like, there is some— if you do it all, it might help.

Josh: But that's where I struggle with, like, well, just, yeah, over-engineering to try and be like the best. Like, I feel like that whole idea around optimising and stuff, like, it can come from a space of like not being good enough. Yeah. You're having to be better.

Toni: And it's like, it's like you follow people on Instagram that are so productive and are doing so much stuff that you're like, well, I'm not doing anything. Like, what should I be doing? And I'm not optimal. And I'm not like, I'm not getting anything done. And yeah, it's, I feel like that's just as bad for you then. To like have a coffee before bed because it makes you feel better rather than being like, all right, grate some fresh ginger and put it up your ass because that's going to make you feel better and whatever.

Tommy: Don't forget your almonds.

Josh: Yeah. One ginger and an almond.

Toni: One ginger.

Mason: One thumb of ginger.

Josh: One thumb and an almond. It always starts with a thumb. It starts with a thumb.

Tommy: I guess the other one is though, when you don't, the way we're talking about this shit, because I push back on it too, is like, unless you do it, we don't know if it actually could be the changer for your world completely.

Toni: But you've got to rip— like, what is it, like 21 days to make or break a habit?

Josh: 28 or something. Maybe it's 21. Like, I feel like they, um, yeah, I mean, how— what does that mean?

Toni: But also, like, is that just that you get used to it, or is it like physically or mentally ingrained in you, or is it just like, fuck, now you're not gonna forget because you did for a whole month?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's definitely like the barrier the resistance to going out and doing exercise. For me, that was it. It's like that just sort of disappeared and I'd be like, well, doing that now, and be less sort of like concerned in my mind about, fuck, I can't be bothered doing this. So then you just like show up, which I've never gotten to.

Josh: I've never like, I feel like I've been able to do a podcast, but then there's so much else personally that I can't do.

Tommy: The resistance to sort of just get on the mic isn't there.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's like we just do it. So, that's a habit.

Josh: I have a resistance, like people are always saying, oh, you should go to a psychologist or whatever. But I sort of can't, like I don't like admin. Can you explain? I just want to get a real sense of the whole thing. So, the first time you go, do you have a set thing of these are the things I want to talk about or do they lead? What's the deal?

Toni: Well, so in Australia, for example, I know how it works. So, like you go to your GP and they, you can get like 10 sessions appointments per year, per calendar year, that are subsidised by the government. So you only pay X amount. So it's like a lot cheaper. So you go to your GP first and you say, and you have to fill in like a mental health survey and say like, yep, like this upsets me, this doesn't, whatever. And then when you go in there, like they kind of say, so what's brought you here today? And for me, like, so my mom passed away when I was 19. So that's always like a big one and they love it. It's like catnip to therapists. They're like, oh, dead parent, here we go.

Josh: Is that because of, um, is it Freud or whatever? Like that it's like it comes from your childhood or whatever, like a lot of the pain or whatever?

Toni: I guess so.

Josh: And did they talk about like, is it all— how much time do you reckon percentage-wise is it you talking about, uh, pre-18 versus post-18?

Toni: Um, probably like 40%, like And it's, I guess every person's different, but like for me it was kind of like, yeah, I'm pretty good. And then they were like, oh, what about this? And I was like, oh yeah, that's pretty fucked, I guess. Like, but I had like a, I had a super healthy childhood. Like I like grew up, I've got brothers and sisters, like mom and dad that I, we're all really close and stuff like that. My life was very normal until my mom got sick. And so for me, like most of the stuff that we were talking about was like as an adult. And so I was probably in a pretty good stead prepared to deal with that kind of thing that most people maybe wouldn't be if they hadn't had such a strong childhood and like background of like being honest with people that are around you. And you know, if you don't have good relationships with people, obviously like your— the way that you see things is totally different. It can be a bit warped, or like if your life is too perfect, it can be even worse the other way. So I'd say that for me, they did talk about childhood stuff, but the majority of like my trauma, I guess I guess you could say. I don't really like that word, but the majority of like the shit that's wrong with me is like from that and stemmed from that.

Josh: Any surprises where it's like things that seem so far out of what would be connected to something? Like what sort of example?

Toni: I guess one of the big ones for me was like the way that my dad talked to me. Like he is super impatient. So if I called him and there was like something wrong with my car, 'cause he's a mechanic. I'd call him and he'd be like, hey, what's wrong? And I'd be like, oh, and I'd be trying to explain the problem to him and he'd be like, hurry, like, what's fucking wrong? Like, what's going on? And you know, dads, like, hashtag classic dads. Oh, sorry, it's you, isn't it? And he would be like, tell him, like, spit it out, like, what's going on? And so now whenever I'm on the phone to someone, I'm like, I don't want to waste your fucking time because I know that you don't want to fucking sit here and me trying to figure out what's going on. And like, that's probably why I talk so quickly now as an adult because I would always worry that I was going to like I'd piss someone off if I took too long. And I, uh, I guess it's like the imposter syndrome of like being a female in the workplace and all of those things. Like, you don't want to take up time that you don't need to.

Josh: Like, hard in a technical role. Like, I guess there's— there'd be way less women that are in technical roles in, in radio, so you don't see it as, as much.

Toni: But I'd say like our team in particular at Jason PJ, like, is very even, and there's actually more girls than boys now. Um, so that's like a very safe environment though to work in. Like, all of us are very respectful of each other and like what we need from each other and how we should speak to each other and stuff. Like, there's never been a time where I've been like, you make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe, like I can't be honest or anything like that. But, um, but yeah, that's probably something that I didn't realise was like something that made me anxious because of when I was a kid that like now affects me.

Tommy: Was it like a penny drop moment Yeah, it actually was.

Toni: And like, I don't like making a mess. So like, if I'm cooking, I'll like clean as I cook because I don't want anybody like walking and see my mess because that was something that like he didn't like. This is like, he was never like, thankfully, never abusive or anything, but just like, you know, quirks in living with people the same way that you have quirks with your partner or your kids or your siblings or a housemate or whatever. Yeah, and so now the way that I behave, I'm like very apologetic. Always, and that kind of thing, which made me realise, I was like, wow, like things that you don't realise affect you really like are ingrained in your personality, I guess. And like the way that you behave actually is super influenced by the people that you're around when you're younger or—

Josh: So, does that change the way that you speak to people or like even younger people or anything like that?

Toni: I'm always super aware of like, so I've got I've got 4 nieces and nephews, and I'm always very careful to not be like, to my niece, I'd never ever say like, oh, I love your dress. I'm like, what book are you reading? And things like that, because I never want her to think that that's what she is. Or like, how fast can you run? And stuff like that. And like, you've, you know, as a dad as well, like, you kind of like, you think about how you talk to kids when I think that maybe our parents didn't.

Josh: I was playing shooting games with Bodhi a lot, like a lot of guns. Shit.

Tommy: Yeah, he's got a Barbie in the car. Yeah, he borrowed it from his cousin.

Josh: Yeah, cut the head off, doesn't give a shit about it.

Tommy: She doesn't give a shit. Like, it's— I mean, for young kids, you're totally right. I think it's like, go in with that, don't assume anything, let them decide. But then, you know, for Bodhi, as a young little peacock, he's, um, trucks, fucking loves it, loves destruction and dirt. It's crazy. But no, you're right, I wouldn't give a shit if he's playing with Barbies.

Toni: And but I don't even think it's just about like like that about, you know, not being super gender stuck of like, oh, boys play with trucks and girls like Barbies. Not even just like that, just like, you're worth more than that. Because I grew up feeling like I had to apologise because I was like, maybe not as important, or didn't— my opinions weren't important enough. Or if I did have an opinion, like, fucking get to it, don't take time to explain yourself. Which I'm very aware that I'm doing right now. Very long story.

Josh: No, this is interesting.

Tommy: Long-form podcast.

Josh: Yeah, I'm used to 3 minutes.

Toni: I'm like, get in, get out.

Tommy: Oh no, we'll cut this to 3 minutes.

Toni: Oh great. You know, as long as I don't have to fucking cut it, I don't care.

Tommy: It'll be the Armand bit and this bit. No, it's— yeah, I mean, talking to my son, I mean, I'm whispering in his ear, you know, like, you're so brave. Like, just shit that I can't remember as a kid, my parents telling me stuff. But I mean, I felt supported. But it's weird because do you feel like you even remembered this stuff? Or like happening, or is it like you're looking back and then connecting all these dots and it making sense? Like, is that what the psychologist is helping you do, realise things?

Toni: And yeah, I'd say it's a combination of the two, but probably more connecting dots. But it's actually really interesting. I was reading this book the other day, it's a Brené Brown book. So she is— actually, no, it wasn't. It was The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, the Mark Manson book. And there's a part in there, I don't know if you're familiar with it, but there's a part um, where they're talking about a psychiatrist who went and did like hypnotherapy. And it was when people were first starting to talk about like sexual assault allegations and things like that, and, um, and like family trauma and things happening inside your circle. And she got hypnotised a number of times, and then she came out of hypnosis one day and she was like, oh my God, like, eureka, I've remembered my dad assaulted me when I was young. And she was talking to her her psychiatrist about it after the hypnosis, and she was like, oh, that's the root of all my issues, like, that's what's wrong. And she confronted her dad about it, and he swore blue in the face that that never happened. She was like, well, it fucking did, don't you fucking lie. And her whole family took her side, um, and then a few years later, um, he actually passed away, and she realised that it actually didn't happen, but it was, it was was that because it was like so prevalent, everyone was doing it, that it actually shows like your brain can make up memories that actually aren't there to like validate, uh, not a lie, but like can kind of validate your feeling. Yeah, 100%. Um, and I found that really interesting, which like, it's, it's funny that a certain amount of psychotherapy or therapy or hypnosis or whatever can actually be like, are you looking for something that's— that isn't there? Or are you connecting dots that don't actually exist? Or whatever. Like, and obviously that's like a super extreme example, but— and it wasn't until after her dad died and her whole family had fallen apart that she realised that actually it hadn't happened. And, um, like, he was telling the truth. And I just think it's, um, yeah, it's like really interesting that distinguishing memories—

Tommy: like, say if it's, you know, looking at photos and thinking about times as a kid, I don't know if it's the photo that is creating a memory in my mind or I actually remember that time.

Toni: Yeah, or if someone says, oh, remember when you fell over and this happened? And you're like, nah, but I get like, it's pretty simple. And then someone else asks you or you tell a storey and it changes a little bit the next time, then it changes a little bit the next time, and then all of a sudden from A to Z it's actually a totally different story. Like, the, the base is true, like it's a true story, but the little things that you like tell for flair, like don't get a, don't let a lie get in the way of a good storey kind of thing.

Tommy: Like becomes the actual story. What about like with your partner? I mean, when I hear you, it's like stories. You both experience the same thing, but you both tell a different, slightly different version of what happened.

Toni: Yeah. Or like they're telling a storey and then you go, no, sweetie, I opened the envelope the third time or whatever. Like it's just so stupid.

Tommy: I walk out of the room now. I'm just, can I do it?

Toni: Fucking—

Tommy: no, I'm joking.

Josh: I feel like, um, storytelling, creating narratives, there's a connection there with like the mental health stuff around, um, say that example. I remember hearing someone say like, thoughts aren't facts. Yeah, I feel like I spent so much time thinking about stories, and sometimes they serve me and sometimes they don't. Like, are you much of a thinker? Like, what, like Yeah, what's that like?

Toni: I overthink a lot of stuff, and I actually think it was in the same book saying like when you say if you've got a good relationship with someone at the time, the way you tell a storey would be totally different to if you're fucked off with them. So like if I was really, really close with my sister at the moment and I said, oh, she sent me these socks, like so lovely. But if we were in a fight and I thought she was the biggest bitch in the world, I'd be like, oh, she sent me these socks. She's obviously trying to tell me something like that. The same action Action can be perceived totally differently depending on like your feeling. So if someone does something to me and I think that maybe I've done something, and it goes back to the like overthinking thing, like imposter syndrome of feeling that way, of being like, oh, I've got to make sure that I'm not wasting anyone's time and I'm going as fast as I can, not bothering anybody, not sitting in the way, and like paying my rent to be in the world and doing the right thing. Like that, you— if, if I think that I've fucked you off at some point, Josh, and then like the next time I'm like, oh my God, like, fuck, maybe he didn't think that that joke about the anal sex was actually a joke. Maybe he was like really upset about that or whatever.

Tommy: I should send him almonds.

Toni: Yeah, I should send him some almonds. He's twitchy. Oh my God. You know, like, and the way that you think that that's probably come across when if in actual fact, if I texted you and I was like, hey bro, we all good. You'd be like, yeah, fuck, that was hilarious. Or like, actually, no, that really bothered me.

Josh: And it sort of feels like it plays into the same thing, which is is around people pleasing. And so then you have— the fucked up thing is, because I feel like I do it too, it's like making outrageous jokes to then get a good reaction. But it's this risky area that could go the other way and you could piss people off. And so then you— it's a bit of a headfuck because it's like you're playing on this sort of risky area. The, um, yeah, I was going to say something on that.

Toni: The—

Josh: if you feel that way, do you mention it to people?

Toni: Like, are you, are you actually communicating to people and saying, hey, it depends who it is?

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Um, like, so people— most, most of the people at work, like, if I have a moment where I feel that way, I'll message them and I'll be like, hey, sorry, like, anxiety going into overdrive. Like, were you fucked off when I said that? Or was that all good? Or are we okay? Or whatever. And they'll be like, what are you talking about? Like, and I've I just caught on, and I guess it's part of like having a bit of OCD, is like, oh my God, I get like locked onto stuff and I'm just like worried that I've offended someone or upset them or said something that like I thought was really funny, um, but wasn't, or whatever. Um, and generally it's fine. Like, I haven't ever really had a situation where someone's been like, actually, you really hurt me with that. Or— and I guess that goes back to like self-deprecating humour being so much safer. Like, if I say a shitty joke about myself, like, who's going to be upset? Just me. I can like that.

Josh: Like, do you catch yourself though, like, now that you've gone through all the therapy, do you look at the self-deprecation and things like that with a different lens?

Toni: Um, self-deprecation, probably not. Like, because yeah, like, anything for a good joke, like, uh, that's probably always going to be the way that I feel about it. Um, but in other things, definitely. Like me overthinking sending a text to you or worrying about something.

Tommy: Are you going to actually send a text to him after, you reckon?

Toni: Well, now I feel like I have to. I'm I talk about it so much. But, you know, like something like that. And I'll be like, actually, no, I know that it's fine. And I have to kind of sit in my own uncomfortable, like, brain area. And then a day later, I'm like, actually, that was fine. And I know that I can let it go, but it's just like letting myself sit in awkwardness.

Tommy: Do you think this happens with close, close friends? Like, have you got some ride or die homies that you just you just, you know where you stand, you know what you can say. Like, there's no ever having to apologise if they're going to come out of it.

Toni: Nah, even people like that, I still feel the same way. Yeah, like, um, apart from my boyfriend probably. But yeah, um, most people I'm like, oh, maybe they really took that the wrong way, or like, maybe they weren't having a very good day and I shouldn't have said that, or whatever. Um, this is not good for my image.

Tommy: Optics.

Josh: I heard that you've done a— written a show. Is it a comedy? Like, what type of show?

Toni: Written a show?

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Who said that?

Josh: 97 said Paris told us there was a— what is it, Seb?

Mason: You've done like a one-person bit that no one's ever read or heard.

Toni: Throwing me under the bus. Yeah, I have. I've written quite a few things. I was actually going through my notes last night. Last night because, you know, like in your iPhone notes how you just like write random things and there's a—

Tommy: Just stage shows. Yeah, in my notes I've written a heap of stage shows.

Toni: So much stuff.

Josh: Screenplays.

Toni: Yeah, Kristen Wiig's gonna make one of them.

Tommy: It's no big deal.

Toni: And I just like write stuff whenever I think about it or if I'm talking to someone, I'm like, fuck, that's really funny. And I'll write it down. And I was going through it last night and it's just the most weird shit. And like a couple of them are from like midnight. So I'm obviously being out on a bender and like grab my phone and be like, that's fucking funny.

Josh: Like written down. Exclusive. Can we get some content ideas?

Toni: Um, oh, you're not going to get anything.

Josh: I want to hear what you've got.

Toni: It was actually stolen on arrival.

Josh: Services, he loves touching people's bags.

Toni: Do you know what he did? He actually grabbed it from my hand, like grabbed my hand.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, interesting. Soft hands. Soft hands, as in you or Tony?

Toni: Not me. Oh my God, I feel like a lizard.

Josh: Really?

Toni: Um, oh, I'm not going to be able to find anything good now.

Josh: Just go from the top.

Toni: Oh, that's a good idea. I'm not going to give you that one.

Josh: Is it a phoner?

Toni: No, I'm not going to tell you because it's really good. So a friend of mine like asked if maybe I would MC their wedding. And I was like, oh yeah. And I started like writing a bunch of shit down that I would, you know, good gear that I would use. And it's just awful. Like that I've obviously sat down.

Tommy: No, please, please.

Josh: Just one line. Just one line.

Toni: No.

Tommy: From the Notes with Toni Lodge.

Toni: Oh no, let me find something better.

Unknown: Good name.

Tommy: It's a new show. It's a new podcast that she's doing.

Josh: Do a podcast. You could do, yeah, From the Notes.

Toni: From the Notes.

Josh: Yeah. But then it plays on the, you're singing as well. From the Notes.

Toni: So there's a note in here that's just like 12 question marks and I've written it at 12:40 PM, like on a Friday night.

Josh: Do you reckon your OCD made sure it was 12?

Mason: Yeah, probably.

Toni: Oh guys, I can't find anything.

Unknown: Click on that one that says comedy.

Tommy: Because George knows comedy.

Mason: It's a comedy.

Toni: Nice.

Josh: It's a comedy.

Toni: So these ones are actually— Oh. Guys, nice. You got this.

Josh: No, this is a safe space.

Toni: It's not. It's just shit. Like, what have I been doing? Well, one of them is a storey about I found out that I had HPV. HPV, human papillary virus.

Josh: What does that mean?

Toni: Well, I cried and I was like, I've got AIDS. And then they said, no, that's HIV. Oh, great gear. Going to save that one.

Josh: No, that's good. Have you done an open mic before?

Toni: No. And I— that's what the notes are for, that every time I think about it and I would love to do it, but I'm so scared.

Josh: That was above like open mic quality. What you like? That was a great joke. Yeah. Keep going.

Toni: Oh, you guys think it's funny?

Tommy: Yeah.

Toni: Fuck me. I'm going to come on here every week. I'm funny.

Tommy: You honestly thought you had AIDS, HIV?

Toni: Honestly, I honestly did. And I said to my boyfriend, who is still the current boyfriend that I have now, I was like, now I'm going to have to tell all my future partners that I've got HIV. And he was like, nice.

Josh: Okay, here we go.

Toni: See, this note just says watercracker yarn. That's not—

Josh: what is the—

Unknown: what does that mean?

Toni: There's no information. It literally just says watercracker yarn.

Josh: Like watercrackers. The poor man.

Tommy: Maybe it's like water cooler chat, but water cracker yarn.

Unknown: Oh, that's good.

Tommy: Yarn on.

Toni: That's definitely funnier than what it was supposed to be.

Tommy: Maybe that's what you thought. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Josh: Have you ever done improv before?

Toni: Oh, nah, but that would be fun.

Josh: We can do it right now.

Toni: Oh, okay.

Unknown: Okay.

Josh: GB, can you set us up with the scene and give Tony, TJ, and I characters?

Unknown: Sure. All right.

Toni: I'm so nervous.

Unknown: Tony is is at the airport as a— what are they called? Receptionist? No, the—

Josh: doing the ticket check-in.

Toni: Sexist.

Unknown: I never—

Josh: hey, okay, no, you're a pilot.

Unknown: Yeah, you're a pilot. All right, you're a pilot. Yeah.

Toni: And Josh is Tommy's dad, and he's brown, and there's a bomb on the plane.

Unknown: Josh, you're trying to get Tommy into the cockpit, but it's 2020.

Josh: Okay. So, you're the dad.

Unknown: Okay.

Josh: And are we on the plane?

Unknown: You're on the plane.

Josh: Plane. Yeah.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: And—

Unknown: Ding!

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: So, Dad, Dad, I want to go in the cockpit.

Josh: All right. Well, you've been good. Let me, let me see what I can do. Open up! Open up!

Toni: Excuse me, sir. No.

Josh: No, I need you to open up. My son's been a good boy and I want to show him the cockpit.

Toni: Stop sucking my dick.

Josh: All right, no, no, are you getting a, are you getting a blowjob in there?

Toni: No, no, stop sucking my dick.

Tommy: Dad, I can hear that. Dad, what's a blowjob?

Josh: Someone is sucking his dick. Excuse me, open up. We're, we're an hour from Denpasar and I want the, I want to, I want to see this cock. Cockpit, the cockpit. That's very good.

Toni: Sorry to break character, but why do we assume that I was a man? Even I did it. Even I did it. Because you assumed I was a cock, so. Yeah, I know, but isn't that horrible? Why did we assume that I was a boy?

Josh: Well, no, I just took.

Toni: No, I know. I'm disappointed with myself.

Josh: That you had a cock.

Toni: I assumed I was a man because I was a pilot.

Tommy: Daddy, why does that pilot have her pants down? Why does she have a penis?

Toni: Well, son, I found your dad on Tinder and, you know, I don't know.

Unknown: Oh, that's interesting.

Toni: This has got to—

Josh: No, no, we can't. No, we can't. I loved that.

Toni: That was awful.

Josh: I wasn't expecting—

Toni: No one's gonna hire me as a comedian now.

Josh: No, I— To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to, um, the blowjob.

Toni: Yeah. And getting it—

Josh: Yeah, getting it sucked. But I thought it was very funny.

Toni: I feel like we could do some creative editing around that, make it funnier.

Josh: No, how could we make So what was it? So maybe tight, it's like, so if I'm being critical, slightly, yeah, there was a little bit of transphobia there. So I apologise for that because it was just a little bit of a like, ah, haha, she's got a cock and things like that.

Toni: So maybe I felt bad that I assumed that because I was a pilot that I was a bloke.

Josh: Sure. But then it got problematic when we started saying she's got a cock and then laughing about maybe, I don't know.

Tommy: It was problematic when you were banging on the door of a cock it.

Josh: Yeah, it was, it was—

Toni: I've got a twitchy eye.

Josh: I mean, this is what happens when you do improv, right? It's risky, I think, like, but we're all doing our best. I actually think that was a great bit. I actually thought it was really good. I loved how strong you went straight into it, and I just wanted to preface the, the, um, that bit so it's all good. But I'm doing fine.

Tommy: I think you just dissected it to make it sound bad.

Josh: No, I dissected it to be like, this is the optics, and the optics aren't good.

Toni: It wasn't great.

Josh: No, it's great.

Toni: Um, please don't tell me this is the end because I'm not leaving people with that.

Josh: Did you ever go into a cockpit when you were a kid?

Toni: No, that is just the most, the weirdest thing to me that people talk about that. Is that a thing that people did?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Toni: Really?

Tommy: Well, it was probably on its last legs when we did it.

Josh: Yeah, I did. Yeah, early when going to Bali, we were doing it.

Toni: Yeah, I've never been to Bali.

Mason: Bali.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: I was fine.

Josh: Jase loves Bali.

Toni: I mean, I get it because, you know, it's fairly cheap to go there. You can get nannies if you've got kids and you can drink quite cheaply and stuff. Like, I understand the appeal, but I mean, going the same place that many times, I'm like, you're not going there to like experience it. You're just going there because it's cheap to drink piss and you don't have to deal with kids.

Josh: Sure.

Toni: Like, and I assume that most Australians that are going there are going there for much the same reason.

Tommy: Yeah. If you had to live in lighting firecrackers. Yeah.

Josh: Really? Firecrackers?

Tommy: We were buying firecrackers.

Mason: Did you?

Toni: Mushroom milkshake.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Josh: If you had to live anywhere in the world outside of Australia, where would you live?

Toni: I would live anywhere. I'd love to live in New Zealand. I'd love to live in Tokyo. I'd love to live in Ireland or London.

Mason: Wales.

Tommy: Mate, you get one. That was like 10.

Toni: Sorry, is that too many?

Josh: No, that was good.

Tommy: Out of those, you have to pick one.

Josh: So what, so wait, there was New Zealand, Tokyo. So I've never been to Japan. Can you give me the rundown what you love about Tokyo, what you like about Japanese culture? Give me the—

Toni: Super friendly. Everybody there is really friendly and there's like so many people that you'd think it would be an absolute shit show, but it isn't. Like everybody's super organized. They know where to line clean up, like they know where their rubbish goes, like you're not allowed to smoke on the street for litter, but you're allowed to smoke in restaurants. Like in like a McDonald's, you go in there and there's like a smoking level and a non-smoking level. Really? Where you can sit and eat.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: A ciggy and a Big Mac.

Josh: Yeah.

Toni: Cig Mac.

Josh: Cig Mac.

Unknown: But they are so organised. The other thing was like eating in restaurants, a lot of the restaurants like the ramen bars and stuff, you stand up and sort of just go in, you get out. Like, it's very weird for someone like us to go and have dinner and sit there for another 10 minutes and talk. It's like, um, sorry, you finished it?

Toni: What are you doing?

Josh: Yeah, it's almost the, um, the opposite of, uh, Europe. Like, I'm thinking, like, is it Italy? Or, um, you got to go real slow. Maybe even in— I'm trying to think, yeah, it's France or Italy or wherever it was, but they're like, if you ask for the bill, you'll piss them off. Like, you take your time. Time.

Tommy: What do you like about— Georgie, you're sitting next to a fellow.

Unknown: I love Tokyo as well.

Toni: Yeah, it's great.

Unknown: I've only been once, but was meant to go this year.

Toni: Well, I've been twice, so go fuck yourself.

Josh: Loser.

Unknown: I've been twice actually, but it was on the same trip.

Toni: Well then I've been 4 times.

Josh: When you leave your hotel, you count it as an extra stay?

Toni: 27 times I've been.

Josh: And so, okay, Okay, I wonder what it's like to live there.

Toni: Well, my boyfriend's got a few friends that went over there to teach English, and one of them speaks Japanese fluently now and is like a video game translator. And he married a Japanese girl. They've got a kid together now, and they absolutely love it. Like, it seems like— Yeah, like, I think that rent is like a little bit more expensive, but in terms of food and travel and stuff, like, it's pretty cheap to to live there. Obviously, given that I would like to have a talking-based career, it's not ideal at this point for me to move to—

Josh: If you were to do another job, what would you do?

Toni: Oh, I'd like— I'd love to—

Tommy: Other than a pilot?

Toni: Yeah, obviously, but that's my current job, so I'm still in character, right? So it's like, what do you do? Um, I would love to be a comedian or an actress or something like that. Um, I don't want to be an audio person forever.

Josh: Is there a—

Toni: or for much longer.

Josh: We've spoken a lot. I reckon every person that we've had that's been in radio, we talk about that sort of stigma around people who are off air or not behind the mic trying to weasel their way.

Toni: Yeah.

Tommy: She's trying to be famous.

Josh: Yeah. Just wants to be in the studio. Yeah. How do you push back against that?

Toni: I don't think you can. I think that's always going going to exist. And because everybody in radio, whether you're on air or off air, tends to have like quite a big ego. And it's like any famous person, you have to have a pretty big ego to kind of like make your way and feel that you're good enough to be doing what you're doing or earning the amount of money that you're making or whatever. And I never ever wanted to be on air. I never wanted to do that side of things. And as soon as I got into radio, people were like, you're pretty funny actually, like maybe you should try that. And I was like, I was like, oh cool, yeah. And that was when I was in regional radio. And then when I moved to Sydney, I was like, well, there goes any hopes of ever getting on air. I'm in a metro market now, they're never gonna let me be on air. And they're like, oh nah, we're keen. And I was like, oh cool. And then same when I moved to Melbourne, moved to be an audio person obviously. And then Jason PJ got along with them really well and they like using me, which is awesome and super fun that I get to go out and do stupid shit and film dumb videos and do stunts for them. And yeah, like, so I never, it was never my intention to be like, oh, pretend that I'm a production person and then I'll sneak my way through the system. Like that was never ever at the front of my mind at all. Like, but you know, it happens to some people and they're like, oh, I'll get famous and they don't suck shit.

Tommy: I actually reckon it is the way to go now. Have a hard skill that you're actually fucking great at. And then there's more to you. Like surviving on just being talent is very, very hard. Hard in today's age.

Toni: Yeah. No, I agree. And because if you can't then say like, well, if you give me a show at night or on the weekend or whatever, but I can cut my own shit or like, yeah, but I'll cut my own podcast at the end of it. Or if I wanted to start a podcast, which I'd love to do, just don't have a good idea.

Tommy: But like, I gave you one.

Toni: Oh yeah.

Josh: Yeah. Which one? What was your idea?

Unknown: What was it called?

Toni: Ah, he's forgotten it.

Unknown: So that was from the notes. From the notes.

Josh: From the notes. That's right. I really think that, like, because when I DM'd you and asked you to come on the show, you were like, I've got nothing to fucking talk about. Like, you played, like, you were, you were saying, why would you want me? Like, is there a little bit of you with that, with starting a podcast? Like, why, like, I, why don't you start one now? I feel like you're a great talent. You should have, like, be fucking smashing it now.

Toni: I just, yeah, I just, I guess it's like, I feel like no one would want to listen to me because I'm not anyone.

Josh: But we're not anyone. And look, we've got a studio.

Toni: That's actually true. But I mean, if I could know one, Steve Bezos. But it's funny. Hey, and I guess it's like not like being really scared to fuck it up or like look stupid or—

Tommy: Are you worrying about the optics?

Toni: I am worried about the optics. That's exactly right. Should I be less worried about the optics? Well, I mean, I care what people view it as or see it as or care Yeah, I think as well you've got to have like a good like base of what you would do, like where you would like grow from every episode that like comes from a certain point or whatever.

Tommy: Do you?

Toni: And I just don't know that I—

Josh: But do you think that like, because I guess if you listen to our earlier shows, we don't like, and even now, nearly having done 800 episodes, like, you know, we're just like, we're constantly like figuring it out. But people enjoy the figuring out bit.

Toni: That's true. And you end up with like diehard fans like you guys have. Have that like that froth, that like whole discovery journey, I guess.

Josh: Because what's the other option? That it's perfect from day one?

Toni: It's like fucking boring. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'd just be, I just wouldn't even know where to start. Like, and not technically because like I've got a microphone, I've got Pro Tools, like I can cut everything myself. But where do you start?

Tommy: Record for an hour reading shit out of your notes and then cut it into—

Toni: Someone's phone's ringing.

Josh: Oh really? Oh really?

Unknown: It's definitely Ghost.

Josh: Oh really? Goofball. Good, that's great.

Toni: I love that. Just, that was me on the fly. Imagine a whole hour.

Josh: Imagine the notes.

Toni: Watercracker chat.

Josh: I feel like they should at the very least— the name of it, we'll get you a sponsor with a real good watercracker.

Mason: Yeah, crackers.

Toni: Captain's Table. Do you know that at Aldi, the Aldi version of Captain's Table fucking headphone.

Josh: What's going on?

Toni: Oh my God, sorry, I just got so overwhelmed with this really funny tid bit. Okay, yeah, at Aldi, the Captain's Table water crackers equivalent is called Admiral's Quarters, which I just think is the funniest thing.

Mason: Like, they just—

Toni: it's just like so close. It's like, oh yep, Arnotts aren't going to come after you for that one. Thank God.

Josh: I really want you to do something. Like, I just want you to do it so we can and listen. So, I feel like you should sit.

Toni: You can fucking listen to this.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. We'll just keep listening to this. That's good. Alright. Well, Tony, thanks for coming on the podcast.

Tommy: Yeah, thank you.

Toni: Oh, is that the end?

Josh: Yeah, that's the end.

Toni: That's it.

Josh: But we'll have you back. Would you, next time you come back, could you read out some notes or have some of like maybe sort through them, print them out?

Toni: I'll come up with some more notes for what a crack job.

Josh: You don't actually, you don't have to come up with more notes. You just need to find the ones that you can read out.

Toni: There's some really not good ones in there. And like I was talking to her, oh, just very quickly, I was talking to my my boyfriend before I came on, and I have asthma, right? That's all.

Josh: Did you bring your ventolin?

Unknown: Yeah.

Toni: Well, I was last night, I was having my puffer before I go to bed, and my boyfriend Torbz was like, oh, you could talk to the Daily Talk Show about having asthma. I was like, fuck, lucky they didn't ask you. What shit, chat?

Josh: No, do you, um, how do you take a preventative?

Toni: Um, yes, so every night I take the, the circular purple Purple one? No, it's a blue round steroid, like powder puffer that I have to take every night.

Tommy: Do you wash your mouth out after taking it?

Josh: That's because you get thrush, mouth thrush.

Toni: Yes, you get oral thrush if you brush your teeth first and then you take it. You can get oral fungal infections. And wow, it turned out to be a better chat than I thought.

Tommy: You're talking to a couple of asthmatics.

Toni: It ain't easy being wheezy.

Josh: No, do you know, have you ever heard of the Great Barrier Reef?

Toni: That would have been a great out.

Josh: Well, we don't do outs. We fizzle out.

Toni: It's a bait and like the image is us.

Josh: No, ever been to the Great Barrier Reef?

Toni: No.

Josh: So, if you go snorkelling, they'll put a pink ribbon on your snorkel.

Toni: If you've got asthma.

Josh: If you've got asthma, so they know.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: Do you know how I got asthma?

Toni: Oh, well, I was about to tell my asthma story, but please go ahead.

Josh: I'll tell you mine. Quickly. White-tailed spider bit me.

Toni: That is such a good story.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: How did you get asthma?

Toni: Oh, no, I want more information now.

Tommy: No, we need it confirmed by a doctor if it's possible. No, I like to believe it. Oh, but then I also want to know.

Josh: When I was, you know, when I was a kid, I said, uh, I've got asthma. No, I was like 3 and I said to my parents, my spider bite me. And I was like coughing or something.

Toni: And then say spider.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. It's like combi.

Tommy: Do you think that after 30 years like if I type in whitetail spider asthma, something should come up.

Toni: Oh yeah, definitely, that would definitely come up.

Tommy: So I'm doing it.

Josh: All right, is there anything?

Unknown: Zero results.

Josh: Maybe we could SEO for it so we rank.

Tommy: Nah, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Toni: That's fucking embarrassing.

Josh: No, but it happened.

Toni: Like, how many times have you told that story? You're gonna have to call everybody that you told that storey to, call them and apologize. When I moved to Melbourne, I never had it in my life, and then I moved to Melbourne and now I have like terrible asthma.

Josh: Do you get hay fever?

Toni: Never as bad as I have here, but yeah, as soon as I moved here.

Josh: How often are you taking antihistamines?

Toni: Probably 1 or 2 a day.

Josh: Fuck, that's good.

Toni: Yeah, it costs a fucking fortune.

Josh: What are you rocking, sort of your—

Toni: Coles brand.

Unknown: Okay, yeah, Telfast 180mg.

Toni: Okay, well, that's a name brand and I just strictly go for generic, otherwise it does cost too real primo.

Josh: Are you much of a— do you drink?

Toni: Not really. Not really.

Josh: I feel like that's a thing. Like, yeah, I never used to drink. I've just started drinking in the last little bit.

Toni: Iso?

Josh: No, well, just before iso, actually.

Toni: Why? Because you think it like makes you more sophisticated?

Josh: Yeah. And just, um, if I'm feeling sad, you know.

Toni: Oh, I get it. Do you want me to give you name of a good therapist?

Josh: I think you say good wine. So you You don't, you know, you like being in control. Is that the idea?

Toni: Yeah, I don't really mind it, but like I would never come home from like a hard day of work and be like, oh, got to have a glass of wine or whatever. But like I enjoy.

Josh: Oh, what? What? I don't get it. What do you like?

Mason: Actually, you?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's become me a little bit.

Tommy: It's really triggering when you hear someone say, but I'm not.

Josh: I mean, Jase drinks. His whole life seems to be about like going to the bowls.

Toni: Yeah.

Josh: Which I do, or going to Bali or things like that.

Toni: It's healthy. Yeah. No, no, no. He's good. And half of it is a beat up as well for to make it make him sound like he's, you know, I don't know. I was trying to rescue him there. So that's all you. But yeah, like no judgement of people that do, but it's just never been my thing. My parents weren't big drinkers. So like, but like I'll go out and get fucking blind. But like, it's not like, what would you go like, what's your go-to drink? Normally drink gin.

Josh: Oh yeah. I've just had Death Gin before. Death Gin's a great gin.

Toni: Oh, I haven't.

Mason: It's a great gin.

Josh: Actually—

Toni: Send us some Death Gin, please.

Josh: Yeah. So, Death Gin, one of the part owners, co-owners is Jason, who you guys have had on the show. He's your tax man. The hot accountant. He's our hot accountant. So, yeah.

Toni: Hot accountant.

Josh: Yeah. He's very attractive, actually. Oh. Yeah.

Toni: My accountant's not good looking, but he's really good.

Josh: Really? Well, Jason's really good and hot. Yeah.

Mason: Oh.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown: Yeah.

Toni: Sounds good.

Josh: So, dump your accountant and go to Death Gin. Jason. Alrighty, see, that's the fizzle out that I talked about. And so then I just say, it's a daily talk show. Uh, thank you. Can I say that?

Toni: Yeah, it's the daily talk show. Thanks for coming in, Tony. No worries. Fizzle stayed out.