Kicked Out Of A Cafe

Tommy: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 774.

Josh: Happy Sunday, it's Weekend Banter. What's happening, guys? What's going on?

Tommy: Very chilly here in Melbourne.

Josh: Yeah, the sun is out though. It's, uh, very foggy this morning. Went out for a little coffee by myself first thing. Oh, this awesome place in, um, I think it's Templestowe. It's, uh, you had to drive? Yeah, I drive to it. They, they know my coffee order. They love Bodhi. I take him there. It's become a bit of a ritual ritual. Last two weekends, Saturday mornings, I take him there to get toast and a babyccino.

Tommy: Getting toast from a cafe seems like an affluent thing to do.

Josh: I know. So I bought— so this is a thing, it's, it's a real tactic of, uh, people within the, um, service industries, you know, would you like another round? And I haven't had it happen to me recently when it comes to, uh, coffees, but she came over and said would you like another round? And Bodhi said yes. And so that means another $3 or something for him to have a bit of froth and an expensive marshmallow.

Tommy: Well, I think also being COVID time, yeah, you have to spend more.

Josh: Well, you can only do an hour drinking. You need to buy food at the moment, uh, but it is sort of expected, like you're taking up space inside a cafe. So this morning I went by myself said, oh, where's Bodhi? Oh, he's at home sleeping. Uh, and then she kicked me out after an hour. Really?

Tommy: Which was—

Josh: leave? No, she was very nice.

Tommy: What'd she say?

Josh: Oh, you know, we're trying to— it was like you could tell she was awkward about it, still had to do it, and I accept it, and I'm never fucking going back there.

Tommy: Everything you took the piss?

Josh: No, I was by myself. I was annoyed that I got there a little bit later. I wanted— I like to get there at like 7:30 because then no one's there, everyone's just getting takeaways, and then we're gone by 8:30 when people start coming to get their brekkie. I tell you what's really like— I guess we're all judgmental, but a guy rocked in with his partner and said— lady said, would you, would you like— he said, chocolate milkshake, thanks. She's like, all right, big baby.

Tommy: Sunday, Sunday, you can have a chocolate milkshake. I know, but I was like, it's so big baby.

Josh: But then he said, um, oh, and I have the waffles. So I was like, that's just a blowout.

Tommy: And so did you, um So where were you sitting?

Josh: I sat in an area that only could take 2 people on the table versus the other one that Bodie and I usually sit on, which can take 6, and which is like a booth.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: And so I— yeah, anyway, no, it's fine.

Tommy: I got out of there within an hour. Like, what time did you arrive and what time did they ask you to leave?

Josh: I got there at like 8:00, 8:25, and left at just nearly 9:25.

Tommy: Like, Okay, it was like just— And did they say, what do you reckon your order was worth?

Josh: No, it was $8. Okay, that was this morning, which it— I got it. I felt the pressure.

Tommy: So, out of there, toast and a—

Josh: Oh no, this morning was just coffee. Yes, just coffee yesterday.

Tommy: Can you even do that?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's alcohol places, you need to buy a meal.

Tommy: Yeah, Brynn went to and, um, was having coffee with her friend the other day and they said, oh, if you want to sit in. Yeah, um. You just need to get something.

Josh: Maybe she was being nice. Maybe that is the thing.

Tommy: Yeah. I have a feeling it is.

Josh: Because they— Yeah, actually, no, it probably is. Maybe she just liked me and thought, oh, you can have a coffee.

Tommy: We went to the pub last night.

Josh: Did ya?

Tommy: And they had a QR code at the front of the door. So, you have to walk in and then behind the front door is the QR code that you need to scan. Like you need to scan.

Josh: Sorry. And so on your phone, because years ago I did a video as the face of some QR code business. No, but this was before you can open, because you can just open your photos app on your phone and camera, the camera, and just take that photo and hold and it'll take you to wherever you need.

Tommy: Yeah. And so you can do that now. But the annoyance was that there were 5 people surrounding this fucking QR code.. And I was like, if, I said it sort of, Bri said that I wasn't too quiet about it. I said, if the guy who's trying to take a macro shot, if he just fucking moves back a little bit, then we can all just zoom in. He's fucking, he's trying to take it like it's a fucking flower or something.

Josh: And so. And what happened when you scanned it? What's it doing?

Tommy: It brings up the pub logo. Yeah. Asks for your name and your phone number.

Josh: Mate. I appreciate that.

Tommy: And we had to put in, you have to prepay $25 per person before to book as well. Wow. Which then becomes a credit.

Josh: Okay. So, then what was your meal?

Tommy: Chicken parma.

Josh: And so, what, $60 by the time you walk out?

Tommy: Yeah, it was 4 of us. We paid $100 and we ended up having to pay $50.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Afterwards. It's fine.

Josh: It's not too bad. And that's if, so, if people start cancelling.

Tommy: Yeah, you lose your money. But I think that potentially, I don't know, I think that the bit with the staying in the cafe stresses me out a little bit.

Josh: It's a big cafe, though. Like, it's lots of space. Small ones I could imagine. It's just like you cannot unless you're— But I mean, there's no—

Tommy: This is rules that are a bit wishy-washy that are about to go or they are, which allows itself for gronk behaviour because it's up to people doing the right thing.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I was talking the other day about the Uber Eats promo where you can get stuff for cheaper. And we've been doing that a little bit.

Josh: Indian last night.

Tommy: Oh, really? Did you do it? Nah.

Josh: Sorry, what night was it? Friday night was Indian. Yeah.

Tommy: So, they were doing like a support local. Every day is a different cuisine. You get a discount.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But we got Uber Eats and we had, they're actually not chips. I got corrected by a few different people. Casey was saying they're wedges.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I think Bri called them, is it patatas? Or she just can't say potatoes. Patatas.

Josh: Sounds like an Aussie.

Tommy: I'd say that's patatas. But anyway, so, we received— They're big chips. They're big hot chips. Yes, they could be considered wedges.

Josh: They're gourmet chippies.

Tommy: Yeah. But I felt like you never think that a terrorist attack can happen to you until you open up your Uber Eats bag and you see that they've put hot chips in a plastic container. What? I was like, I was waiting for ISIS to, to claim responsibility. It was fucked up. Like, and so breezily, I was like, it reminded me of when I was a kid, because when I was a kid, we'd go to Endeavour Hills Charcoal Chicken.

Josh: Oh yeah.

Tommy: And Dad would be like, as soon as we got that, like, they would put them in a plastic bag.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And it was like a mission to see how quickly we could get rip. You'd fucking— it's like a surgery. You're fucking tearing the bag open so that the The chips don't go soggy.

Josh: I mean, there's a real problem with even giving over a plastic bag with hot stuff in it because it's just, it's a stink. It's a, it's a, it's a hot tub. Yeah, it's a cesspool. We got hungry at KFC last night. I went to my brother's place and he's known for their chips. Well, my brother said he went off the Colonel for a while. He's like, had a few bad experiences. And then he, him and his wife thought, now let's give it a go. And he said, the Colonel's back. And we went and the Colonel's fucking back.

Tommy: Really good.

Josh: A Zinger burger, got chips. Everything was scorching hot, which is what you want if you're getting takeout.

Tommy: Did you, man?

Josh: There's a real problem. Like, I know we know junk food's cheap and this is why people sort of blow out. We opted for less food last night and paid way more than the thing we were going to get, which was a combo deal. No, it was a $27.95, 4 burgers, chips, drink, fucking extra bits of chicken.

Tommy: You didn't go that or you did go that?

Josh: Didn't go that because it was way too much food. But then we ended up paying $34 or something.

Tommy: Well, that was, yeah.

Josh: Which it's like it—

Tommy: Bri and I used to go to Maccas. I remember going to Maccas South Melbourne when we lived in Port Melbourne.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And the joke was it was when they first started doing the family box. And the only absurd thing about the family box was the extra drinks and chippies. But if you actually sort of tear it all apart, it's a good feast. For a couple. And so we would, um, these are the people like we would, um, would go through the drive-through and I'd be like, as we're taking the order, the joke was I'm like, oh shit, what was it, the Sam one? Ah, fuck it, we'll just get the— I'll just make up other names as we're doing it.

Josh: And then you rock up.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, can I just have 2 large drinks rather than this bullshit of having something so depressing about having 4 different drinks that you fucking do.

Josh: 4 cans, 4 different flavours.

Tommy: Macca's don't do cans, but no, I know KFC do cans of that. Yeah, Pepsi.

Josh: Pepsi. Yeah, yep, they're Pepsi.

Tommy: I mean, and so what did you, um, what'd you get?

Josh: I, I just got a Zinger burger and chips. Really good, really good. Uh, Colonel is back, I can confirm the Colonel is back.

Tommy: How often do you reckon you're gonna have it?

Josh: Absolutely once every couple of months.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: No, I, I was pushing to go Nando's because I was like, Nando's doesn't I was literally talking to the Hot Accountant about charcoal chicken in Dever Hills. Oh, yeah. Which is the famous one. Is that the famous one?

Tommy: No, it's not that. No.

Josh: That's the—

Tommy: I can't remember the guy's shop, but he was the famous dancer. He would dance. But no, Hot Accountant and I were talking about charcoal chicken when all of this patatas thing was happening. And we were saying, what's happened to charcoal chicken? I'm like, when was the last time you had charcoal chicken? And the conclusion we came to was we've gotten fancy.

Josh: Yeah, definitely. Well, you and Hot Accountant live in areas where—

Tommy: In a city.

Josh: In a city. Like for me, I've had charcoal chicken plenty of times in the last couple of months.

Tommy: Sort of.

Josh: Bulleen charcoal chicken, one of the best. One of the best.

Tommy: And so, I feel like Nando's is potentially eating Charcoal Chicken's business, do you think?

Josh: Well, it's fancier. It's, um, you're gonna say fresh. It's a bit more expensive, actually. Maybe it's on the same part here. No, here we go. Charcoal Chicken's gone up, gone up. So you still are paying $13.50 for a little snack pack.

Tommy: Do you know, actually, I know what's really fucked Charcoal Chicken.

Josh: What?

Tommy: Coles doing the roast chicken.

Josh: Roast chicken to go.

Tommy: Don't you think?

Josh: Well, they're cheaper, $8.

Tommy: Compared to how much? $13, you're saying?

Josh: You can get it, you can get a full chicken, I think, for, yeah, $12, $13, but they're really good. Like, they are a different—

Tommy: Are they doing something different?

Josh: They're a different breed.

Tommy: Then there's Fox's Den.

Josh: I mean—

Tommy: Which is a sort of a fancy charcoal chicken.

Josh: Yeah. I mean, if you sort of going too hard on any of these things, it's probably going to limit your life. I'm on a website called 4000saturdays.com.

Tommy: That's how much life you've got left.

Josh: Well, what I wrote was— what did I write? I wrote something like, how many, how many, how many Sundays do you have in a lifetime? And it comes up with your life calculator, and then, and it's just called 4000 Saturdays. So I put in my date of birth, 1st of September 1988, and, and it says about your life, you have lived on average 200— sorry, 2,340. Oh, I know this is bad. You have on average 2,340 more days left of life.

Tommy: What does that mean? On average? Okay, yeah, I get one.

Josh: Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, it's fucked. It's got like a small little, um, caption box.

Tommy: Is this good or bad?

Josh: It's good, but it's like a— it's like a It's a bit dark. On average, 2,340 more Saturdays left to enjoy.

Tommy: And you would get 4,000 and something in a lifetime. Is that the idea?

Josh: Yeah, I'm not sure. You have so far spent around 22 years asleep.

Tommy: Seems like a waste, doesn't it?

Josh: It's a big waste. Reasons to be grateful, 250 million, they reckon. Oh, here we go. You've taken 1,204 million breaths.

Tommy: Yeah, that's interesting.

Josh: Your heart has beaten 169 million times. You've walked 115,764 steps.

Tommy: That's wrong.

Josh: Yeah, that seems wrong.

Tommy: What? I would do that in a fucking—

Josh: Okay, here's a few good little steps.

Tommy: No, no, no, can you just go back to the steps?

Josh: Because this whole You have walked 115,764 steps. Are you sure it's not covering a distance of 71,994 kilometers?

Tommy: 126 million— million. That's why you're Alf.

Josh: Okay, you've lived— so this is mine. If you're born in '88, it's probably roughly around the same, uh, 116 Sorry, 11,623 days. Doesn't seem like that much when you say it like that.

Tommy: Well, you lost me with the steps because if the steps are so far off— 153 million kilometres to the sun, if you're interested. 1988, you're born. Do you know what happened in 1986 with— in relation to balloons?

Josh: Balloons as in party balloons or hot air balloons?

Tommy: Party balloons.

Josh: They were invented? Nah, nah, they were invented a long time ago.

Tommy: What happened? So, in 1986, in Ohio, in Cleveland, there was a balloon fest.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Where they had 1.5 million balloons that they let off at once.

Josh: Into the sky.

Tommy: Into the sky.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: There was a It caused absolute havoc for the city.

Josh: Oh my God, I'm looking at it now.

Tommy: Two people died based on they were in the water, they were needing to be rescued or whatever. There was search and rescue. Search and rescue had to be called off because there were so many balloons.

Josh: Oh my God. There is a lot of balloons. And so, why did someone Was a fundraiser. Was it Cleveland?

Tommy: Cleveland.

Josh: Cleveland. Man, it looks like an explosion.

Tommy: It's pretty impressive, the amount of balloons. But after you go to Phillip Island and you go and see the penguins—

Josh: Well, you did that. You must have done that recently. When did—? Because you started touting this.

Tommy: Yeah, I used to be a balloon guy. Really? I could have been the guy to learn how to make balloon animals. Yeah.

Josh: I mean, there's someone who's got a business that just does that.

Tommy: Like a clown. That's it.

Josh: That's their heart. That's their— They do the apprenticeship of a clown and then they—

Tommy: That's a part of their routine. So, anyway, the— I just thought that was an interesting—

Josh: It's— Why have you got that in your head? What's happened?

Tommy: Well, I found a new YouTube channel. What is it? Called Weird History. Yeah. Weird history. Yeah. Do you know what the disease of kings is? The disease that a lot of kings got?

Josh: Really? Oh, like chlamydia or something. They were sleeping around. Gout. Gout.

Tommy: Yeah. And so, it was based on— Form of arthritis. Yeah, correct. But they— Yeah, it was interesting. They were saying back in the day that it was connected to having a big cock. And so, that's why you got gout, like fucking all the flow and all that sort of thing. And so, it was a bit of a flex. If you got gout, someone who's got a big cock, like, isn't that crazy? But what it was, was they were eating too much meat.

Josh: I had a guy who I used to train. He would smoke 4 packets of cigarettes a day.

Tommy: It's too many, I reckon.

Josh: Mate, that is so many. He said on average 70 cigarettes a day. And if you do the math on how many—

Tommy: 150,000 steps and they're like, no, what do you want to know?

Josh: How many cigarettes? Like, uh, how many? A lot.

Tommy: How many minutes? Fucking expensive. What, that would— a pack, a pack of ciggies costs what, mate?

Josh: $20 now. It's more, $25. So if you've got, say, if you're smoking $100 a day, if you're smoking for 7 in a window of 12 hours across the day. So you're just fucking giving it a break for the other 12, you're sleeping, like fasting. Um, so you've got 720 minutes divided by 70, you're having a cigarette every 10 minutes, which is what he was doing.

Tommy: That's chain smoking, isn't it? That is chain smoking.

Josh: And he had gout. Okay, I mean, he wasn't the healthiest chap. He— this is a Weirdest thing, like I had this a couple of times. People would come in and, you know, big move. The guy hadn't done exercise in his whole life, obviously, you know, not the pinnacle of health, but wanted to change. And so that's why he came and signed up for a 10-pack of ciggies, 10-pack of training sessions at about $65 a pop.

Tommy: So more expensive than ciggies, better for your health, better for your health.

Josh: Pays me $650. Uh, comes twice, uh, stops answering my calls, uh, never came back. I saw— I was worried about— I was like, this guy's fucking died. This guy's— it's not me, it's him. Yeah, it's— he's in trouble. And then I saw him driving past my studio. Really? I was like, you dog.

Tommy: Did you point at him and say, you dog?

Josh: He didn't look at me. Imagine. I wonder if he was thinking about it.

Tommy: Definitely. Like, I'm sure it would have been quite a triggering thing.

Josh: I had, I had a guy who'd pay me and then would rock up and he's like, man, forgot my clothes, forgot my fucking clothes, let's just hang out, let's talk.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And we'll just— and I would be so pissed off at that point. I was like, really? Like, it, it's annoying.

Tommy: He's not asking you to do anything.

Josh: They never last though, those people. So it's like, you're wasting my time, I could have booked someone else in.

Tommy: But you're still getting the cash, aren't you?

Josh: Still getting the cash, but it's annoying to charge because there is a version of like—

Tommy: you mean you're the guy that spends 8 bucks at a cafe and stays there for 4 hours during COVID And you're getting paid and you're just annoyed that he doesn't want to do squats.

Josh: Yeah, but that's what you train a sheep to do.

Tommy: Do you reckon cafe owners would get annoyed if you don't finish your food?

Josh: They'd want to know what's wrong. They'd want to. I think so. And then, and then if it keeps happening, maybe. Some people, like, I'm always amazed at people who leave heaps of food on the plate. Like, I've observed at this same cafe people, because they give generous portions, like leaving shitloads. And I feel like, what's going on there? Is it not good?

Tommy: I mean, I think that that's very common in the US, especially in the diners. People leaving shit. Well, you just, you get, but they do the whole takeaway, you know, doggy bag sort of thing. And are you allowed? Yeah. And so, you need to really think about it. But you, when you've travelled, you've shared with Amy. That's been a big thing for you.

Josh: Sharing's the best. Well, you don't need to eat a whole Like, how did you feel after eating a whole Parma last night?

Tommy: Pretty good. I didn't eat all the chips.

Josh: Didn't you?

Tommy: No, no. Why? Uh, because I knew that I was gonna, um, have dessert. Oh, really?

Josh: So you didn't have dessert at the pub? I just thought I'm gonna have some, you know, you keep a bit of room in there.

Tommy: And I just, I felt like, um, yeah, why didn't I? So normally what would happen, I would eat the whole thing If there was a chips and salad, because I would layer them. So, the chips, salad and parma are all on top of each other. What happened? It doesn't come with salad. What? So, it was just the parma. I didn't even think about that. And chips. And so, just pouring chips on it seems a bit weird. That does.

Josh: So, a couple of things are happening this week to July. One, um, vaping's banned. Oh really? So not vaping, it's like nicotine. The importation of the nicotine vape, which you load into your vape, is kaput.

Tommy: Do you think this is good or bad?

Josh: Well, this— so it was banned in Australia, as in companies selling it here, so everyone just started importing it, and now they're gonna slam people who are importing it. Huge fines.

Tommy: What seems silly to ban something locally but then not sort of dial in the importing, which it would—

Josh: you could probably have worked out that it's going to happen at some point.

Tommy: Um, but then they're going to, uh, could you imagine the orders that are happening at them like just beforehand? Yeah, it would just be fucking huge.

Josh: New Zealand companies get 150% increase in sales to Australia, people buying. Makes sense. But they're gonna have— you can go to the doctor and get prescribed nicotine vape, and then you'll be able to get it. So they're just going to the chemist? Yeah, you would then go to a chemist who would hold it.

Tommy: But the problem is, can you get good flavours still? Could you get like your fucking— don't know how it would work—

Josh: watermelon? Don't know how it would work. Maybe, maybe.

Tommy: What about what he's doing?

Josh: He's probably done a bulk order. But then, so, um, it helps people wean off, right? And so a lot of these vape companies say we won't sell it to people who haven't smoked before.

Tommy: So you're not starting—

Josh: if you just started vaping versus gone from ciggies, trying to cut out the smoke and get into vape.

Tommy: But then think about all the people spoken about this though, like what sort of person starts vaping, smoking in general, after 30?

Josh: Heaps, dude, heaps. I could— two people in my head right now after 30. One, I don't think something didn't go so well. The other, I don't know, just stressed thinking. Yeah, but it's fucked up.

Tommy: Like, I know why they banned advertising because you hear like, I remember hearing a storey and they were talking about Cameron Diaz smoking. It's like, oh, Cameron Diaz smokes. I know. Like maybe.

Josh: You see Brad Pitt just puffing on a durry in a movie and you're like, that's the coolest thing.

Tommy: I think that movie, like it's different when it's like, oh, the real life. Like in their spare time, they're on the CDs. I'm never going to do that.

Josh: But it does look cool, though. Like when in the movie, like when you see a character and it plays into it, there is a version of that. What do you think is cool about it? No, I'm not saying it's cool. I'm saying like— No, I think you're right.

Tommy: Red Fire, it's just doing something, right? Like I reckon having something to do. Like rubbing his hands together probably has a similar effect.

Josh: So, the closest is like something naughty and someone who you look to is doing something. Like that. And then it's like, that makes sense.

Tommy: What's another example?

Josh: What's the best? Brad Pitt eating burgers constantly in Ocean's Eleven. I was like, fuck, he's ripped. I could eat that. But then I was like, no, it's probably, he's probably not actually. He's like, it's spitting it out.

Tommy: You reckon?

Josh: Yeah, he's eating, he's eating junk food constantly throughout that film. But it is that like Zac Efron rip cunt in a movie.

Tommy: He's in Byron, you know that. Yeah.

Josh: Well, that's what they're saying. I saw him at a party in LA. That's right. I think that was when he was, um, and so what's it, addicted to cocaine?

Tommy: So on the, um, and you're at the party. Yeah. Um, July 1st, so it's so no vape.

Josh: Yeah, ban. Um, in WA they're bringing in $1,000 on-the-spot fine for being on your phone while driving. That's huge. WA, Australia.

Tommy: That's $1,000 if you're on your phone.

Josh: 4 demerit points, $1,000. So in Melbourne, it must be a real problem. It's half price in Melbourne.

Tommy: Yeah, that's a reason to move. Is it? Grace, you've come to the right place.

Josh: Yeah, half price.

Tommy: I mean, I think that I don't, um, I don't use my phone at all when I'm driving. No, no.

Josh: I mean, I learned the lesson. That's right. I get it going and then you got CarPlay. These things, like, I just saw, um, Hayden Dibrocked up. He had a speaker in his car, like a boombox in the middle. I just looked at it and I thought, I wonder if he's like just blaring music, but he also had AirPods on, AirPod 2s. I mean, there's a problem with driving with AirPods, like noise cancelling is on.

Tommy: Noise cancelling, surely that's not...

Josh: For driving. I wonder if that's illegal.

Tommy: Have you, have you seen that United Airlines and American Airlines in the US are now going to full capacity for all their planes? So, no, like the middle seats are up for grabs. Wow, do you think that's fucking ridiculous?

Josh: Oh, I mean, I want to speak to Glenn because, uh, America's in a bit of trouble.

Tommy: Or Florida, yeah, Florida not doing so well. They're going backwards. Texas not doing great.

Josh: They had 46,000, 49,000 cases in a day.

Tommy: I mean, 100,000 steps. Can you actually look up the number?

Josh: Huh, what do you want to look up the number of?

Tommy: Yeah, I just want to— so there's, there's sites that have the actual, um, COVID stuff, like have the, all of the data. Of what? What? Just like COVID world deaths. You want to go there? Half a mil world deaths, I think. No. India's in trouble. Well, yeah, for people who aren't from Victoria, from Melbourne. Oh, there's like a sort of— We're not doing great. Oh, wow.

Josh: This has like A map? No, New South— New South Wales government recent flights with COVID cases. So if you went on a flight, you can then jump on and be like, oh, domestic flights travelling through from New South Wales Airport, Qantas, Brisbane to Sydney, 12th of May 2020. Yep, close contact rows. You can check. Oh, fuck, I was 32. Row 31, 32, 33, 34, 35.

Tommy: What about, um, uh, Paris? All rows, like all rows. You're fucked. Really? That's what it says.

Josh: Just someone's fucking close contact rows, all rows for Darwin to Sydney, Sydney to Darwin, Darwin to Sydney, like a whole bunch of different ones.

Tommy: I saw her in Paris from Jason PJ. She did an Insta storey yesterday.

Josh: That's funny. That was funny. What was? What she posted.

Tommy: Oh yeah, about— well, there was a few things. It was the Jetstar thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: Oh, she just said, uh, when you—

Tommy: $3,000. But she said she has $3,000 in Jetstar credit, right? I was thinking, and she was saying it's a refund.

Josh: When you check, when you cheque and see that you've got $3,000 of Jetstar credit, but then you realise that you're not going to the place.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's a refund. But then I got thinking, it's like 3 grand for Jetstar flights. $3,000, you could fucking buy the airline for $3,000. It's like $2 to go to Bali. Hawaii. Hawaii. Ah, still Hawaii. You could fly fucking premium economy return, uh, on— we can't do a Virgin. If you booked—

Josh: if I booked for you and I on the business.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, sure. So 2 people, maybe including 2 people to buy meals.

Josh: Yeah, $1,500 each, $700. You might be going to the States. I've never been. No, Jetstar's not to the States, but you could probably do Hawaii or Fiji. Japan. Japan. Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah. I just, I do wonder, I've just never been a fan of Jetstar because of their weighing.

Josh: Because do you think the people, like you were a status guy at one point trying to win it, you know, you clocked the game, you were lying down.

Tommy: I was platinum.

Josh: I mean, it seems really silly because people are clocking the game just to lie down on a plane for $20 grand. Yeah. It seems really dumb. Yeah. If you look at that. Do you think like this is— Is that game gone or is it a new game, do you think? As something new. I reckon it's something.

Tommy: Yeah, I reckon it's a new excitement. So, I reckon when it feels just like business in some ways, it's like, okay, everyone's shitting the bed. This is an opportunity to, you know, to develop and get better and all of that sort of thing. So, I think with— If you look at what happened just before COVID really shut everything down. People were using all their points. Trev Long, who's got a fuck tonne of Virgin points because of, um, flying to the US for keynotes and things like that, he, um, he bought a Weber. Oh yeah, he would, he would have used hundreds of thousands of points. He could have flown first class return, no joke, first class return, to London with the amount of points he would have used on that barbecue. Fuck, that's a lot. And so the thing is that everyone has haemorrhaged all their points because they think, okay, well, Virgin's gone, you know, in a bit of trouble. Just got purchased. Yeah, by Bain or whatever. Bain Capital. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I don't know, like, I think— I wonder what will happen with all of the, uh— I've still got a hundred and some— something thousand points.

Josh: What could you do with them?

Tommy: 70,000, you could go return to LA in economy. Really? Yeah. Uh, 70— I think it's like 74,000. But I reckon the best use of points is being able to fly business or first. So Virgin Australia doesn't have any first class. So if you want to get the most out of the points, I think flying from Melbourne to Perth or Perth to Melbourne, they have the business —well, they did anyway—which was like the sort of flat bed type of thing. Yeah. I think they went fully down. But yeah, that was good because it was— it didn't require a huge amount of points. But you can— Virgin had a relationship. I don't know if these relationships are all like what's happening, but it— they were connected with KrisFlyer, which is Singapore. And so, what Bri and I did was we took I think it was like 400,000 points or 380,000 points or something, converted them to KrisFlyer points and then used it to go on the A380. Good times, wasn't it? But I think, um, no, I like the idea of when everything settles down. I feel like we're in this Pinterest world at the moment where we're just like— so I think that the first thing most of my mates I'm speaking to, Airbnb is their first thing. So, they're doing weekends away, doing like setting up, okay, especially people who have travelled a lot or they enjoy every year going on that big trip, doing monthly weekend trips. So, once a month, have a budget, spend 2 nights somewhere in Victoria. Then I feel like We were all hoping for New Zealand, but that's sort of gone out the window with what's happening in Victoria at the moment with all the cases. But then, yeah, I think Tassie's a great one. Tassie's a good one.

Josh: Yeah. Oh God. I mean, I posted last night a little video of you and I in New York City. Dude, that place is busy as shit. We were in Times Square. Do you really think like anytime soon that's happening? Like the amount of people—

Tommy: I think it is in the US. I don't, I have no plans in going to the US. Like I fucking loved the US. Like I was— Loved? Loved. You still love it. No, but I think about, I look at how much I sort of idolised the US like growing up or just wanted to go there. I did the whole green card lottery, which I didn't get, which was silly anyway, because as I mentioned, the main thing was Amazon Prime. I was excited about Amazon Prime. You just end up there depressed. Just, just getting, um, deodorant delivered every 30 days without having to tell them.

Josh: Just typing from your little tiny—

Tommy: No, but I just think like, yeah, the US, the, the gun stuff, the, um, yeah, I find it all a bit scary.

Josh: Yeah, there has to— I mean, it— I think it just has to be a fucking vaccine before people are really letting loose without the government coming in and shutting shit down.

Tommy: But I also just think politically with the US, it's just like there's so much, um, uncertainty. Yeah, you don't know what's going to happen.

Josh: Oh, it's a shitstorm. Wait till the end of the year. I mean, as if there's any travel until next year, at least international, without the thought of, uh, will I be impacted by this, you know, like, but also, but it's—

Tommy: I think it's gonna be a lot, lot longer because you think about like even things like Ebola and how long that seemed to be. Just like this COVID thing, I feel like it's just going to be for fucking like, I know, 10, 15 years will be— there'll be conversations around it and, and they'll be like, it will change everything. From Bri went into Mecca, they checked your temperature. Really? If you want to smell candles, they— Wipe your nose? No, you can't. You can't pick up the candles. They do hand sanitise themselves. Wow. And then they present it. But I thought, like I said to Bree, I'm like, can't you just smell hand sanitiser then? Anyway. That's bizarre.

Josh: And so, are people smelling the same candle? Because that defeats the purpose. Well, I guess. Sometimes I blow out to go to sort of get a run up to go back in, you know.

Tommy: Well, no, Bree did, because we watched a doco on master sommeliers. Oh, yeah. Wine people. Yeah. Do you know how many master sommeliers there are in the world?

Josh: So, is master like a black belt? Is it some kind of like—

Tommy: Primo, primo.

Josh: Very hard to get. Oh, no, probably the on is like Dan, third Dan, fourth Dan. These are like karate experts beyond black belt. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, I reckon it probably takes 15 years to get there, just roughly. Just trying to work it out. I reckon. How many in the world, do you know? Yes. Okay. 100,000, which is small for the— 100,000 steps? 100,000 people in the world.

Tommy: No, no, no. 240.

Josh: 240? Yeah. I wasn't— I meant something. An extra 140. An extra 140.

Tommy: You said 100,000.

Josh: 100,000. Oh, 240. I thought you meant K.

Tommy: No. Holy shit. That's— It's exclusive. So, what do you do? It's the most rigorous process. So, they— You don't only have to know about wines, you have to know about every—

Josh: If you're a wanker.

Tommy: You have to know about every alco— Like all the different types of alcohols. But also, you have to understand French law, Italian law, because you need to understand how provinces work. You need to understand All of this stuff I learnt about, like, you can work out the alcohol percentage based on when you swirl it around, the residue. They— It's all oral. So, they— Like, for the testing. So, they'll basically— Is there a difference between oral and oral?

Josh: American, Australian. Okay. Oral. Josh Janson eating his L.

Tommy: And so, yeah, anyway, it's extremely complicated. Most people fail the first time doing it. And who's the governing body of—

Josh: Like, who's in charge doing that?

Tommy: Yeah, there's like a main body. There's, you know, one in San Francisco, one in London.

Josh: Are they old people? Like, are they—

Tommy: Yeah, there's a bunch of oldies, but there's some new people, obviously, they want to keep it going. But there's like, mentoring that goes on. It's, um, it's a real subculture. But you have to, like, you spend years, like, learning and reading. And, like, a guy was like, he just spent 2 years just reading wine books. Wow. And then, um, yeah, you need to understand everything about— like, they would know more about beer than fucking 99% of people.

Josh: So, yeah, because they have to understand it as well.

Tommy: They have to. Yeah, they have to. And so, in the actual test, they could get asked questions about a vodka. They need to know exactly the process and how it's all done. It's pretty crazy.

Josh: Are they making good coin or is it for love?

Tommy: Surely at that point it's worth something.

Josh: What are they called? A master sommelier. A master sommelier. Hmm, I don't know what the— I mean, you're just loving it, right, at that point? Master Simla. Master— no, can't find it.

Tommy: So being able to be like, this is the specific fucking vineyard and this is how— like, knowing this is how it was stored, this is the wood that it was used to be stored in, pretty crazy shit. Yeah, it's— I tried the whole— the reason I brought it up was because, um, when I was in the pub last night, I was smelling my Shiraz and I was just trying to describe what I could smell.

Josh: As you said, the doco before this date.

Tommy: Yes, of course. And so Bree said, can I smell? And I said, ah, it's not COVID safe to sniff, which pissed her off because she's like, we kiss and all that sort of thing. But I was like, it was more of an optics thing. But then she wouldn't give me any of her Aperol. And so like, we had a conversation. I understand where she's coming from because it's—

Josh: yeah. You've since separated. Exactly.

Tommy: Well, you just said you can't from an optics, like you can't worry about it because you're like, who cares? Who's looking? Good point.

Josh: I mean, no one cares when it's your partner. The Australian— So, they— The World— The Women's World Cup soccer is going to be held in Australia in 2020-something. I don't know. They had a room full of people waiting for the announcement and they were all COVID safe. They were separated a metre. Next minute, Australia's—

Tommy: Have people been talking about this? Or because I just saw it, I just observed it and thought it was funny. I watched it.

Josh: I haven't seen anyone mention it, but they seemed really separated. And then they— Australia got announced as the place that's going to be held and they were jumping up and down, hugging each other, jumping it like— Licking faces. Mate, that's optics you're worried about, not your girlfriend at a pub.

Tommy: Yeah, I get it. On Wednesday, Wednesday morning, we have a very big announcement that's happening.

Josh: That's June 1st. July 1st.

Tommy: July 1st. So, get ready for that. We will be putting it out everywhere on all of the socials. But there'll be one thing that we'll ask of all of you. So, if you can be ready, put it in the calendar, 8 AM. I'm even thinking about starting to roll it all out at 6 AM. Really? So, for WhatsApp, you will be getting it at 6 AM. Jess asked me, why 8 AM? Why anything, Jess? That was my— I was like, good question. No reason. Yeah. And so let's do 6. 6 AM. All right. 6 AM. Why 6 AM? Because it gives people more time and they'll wake up to it. Okay. And then 8 AM. So 6 AM WhatsApp, 8 AM socials.

Josh: Yep. 9 AM email through our database. Yes. Yeah. Because then you're at your desk starting the day. Boom. Okay. All right.

Tommy: It's a daily talk show. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and we'll see you tomorrow, guys. See you guys.