Back In Studio

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 742.

Tommy: And we're back. We're back in the studio. Who cares about what day we told you to put it into the— put it into the diary, calendar. We're back. I just— I'm just sort of getting my bearings here, guys. That's why I'm kind of rattling off.

Josh: It feels weird, doesn't it?

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: I can't touch you, JJ.

George: You're like—

Tommy: you're at least 2 metres away. And we've distanced from Mr. 97 and Harry and George at least 4 metres.

Josh: Yeah. So, we decided, we thought, let's try and get the office stuff done early. It's very weird. Weird, isn't it?

Tommy: I've been so used to just looking at myself reflecting back at like the screen.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And it's so bizarre. It's good, though.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I'm happy I'm back. And we've got Jess here. She— Producer Jess, she's in the building, too. No microphone.

Josh: Don't have a shot or microphone for her, so probably would have—

Tommy: We'll get there. We'll get there. Hey, I got in early because I sort of wanted to start cleaning. Actually, I wanted to have a coffee with George first. George and I got a deal. I haven't told Jess this either.

George: I know.

Tommy: We got a deal.

Josh: Well, Georgie boy said that he does get a free coffee on hump day.

Tommy: Well, true, true. And it was true today that he did get a free coffee on hump day. It's not because of that. One of the TJ Daily videos that I made where George and I were playing basketball, The cafe saw it. Well, I showed that, I showed it to them at the cafe and then I said, and then I was like, yeah, here it is. And then he's like, oh, that's sick. And then I saw him when we went back in and he's like, mate, my 9-year-old son saw it, thought it was so cool.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: So cool. He's like, uh, we were working out what we could do for you because I ended up sending him the clip and he's like, uh, we thought, um, maybe his son said free meal. And then he's like, nah, how about free coffees the whole week?

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, wow. Oh, so George and I, we're riding high. We've been having free sippers, free sippers from Long Street Cafe.

Josh: That's another week.

Tommy: No, but they're nice. Anyway, we've been drinking coffee, so I got in this morning and I wanted to start cleaning. I knew Jess was coming in today to work from the office. And just so you know, I wouldn't do it for any of you assholes, but I cleaned the toilet.

Josh: Oh, that's nice.

Tommy: I cleaned the bathroom.

Josh: How bad was it?

George: It was bad.

Josh: George, you fucked up, son. It was bad. So a bit of spitty bum?

Tommy: Anyway, I fixed it, but I thought, and then Mason got here and I just said to him, mate, I told you it was like when I mentioned that when you get into a relationship, your personal hygiene goes up.

Josh: Definitely.

Tommy: Like you're much cleaner.

Josh: And so shave your pubes.

Tommy: When I knew that we we had Jess come into the studio, I thought, I've got to clean the bathroom.

Josh: Yeah. And yeah, it depends.

Mason: It—

Josh: I feel like there is something in when you have a partner, your, um, facial hair grow— it's almost like it switches around, you know, in regards to the whole pubic hair thing. Um, yeah, it's very weird having everyone here.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: How are we doing?

Tommy: Yeah, we're good. I mean, it nearly sort of We nearly tore down the business before this. I mean, we talked tech troubles yesterday. Your mum shot fire, you know, took some shots online.

Josh: What did she say?

Tommy: Sevs, you posted a snippet which was about the blow-up and how all of that, the cleanliness, the tech problems.

Josh: I don't know about this.

Tommy: And your mum's fired back. Welcome to my world, guys. I lived with JJ for 20-something years.

Josh: Yeah, you're my mum. I mean, Yeah. When it comes to the tech stuff, I mean, Harry hasn't gotten the point. That's what, like, Harry is very open to chat. And but I feel like it's a good exercise in like just keeping calm. We're all in this together. We're trying to make it work.

Tommy: Nah, we are. But I mean, we don't want to take away. It is a special day. And George has been— he was here till 12 o'clock last night. He texted me.

Unknown: Where were you?

Tommy: He texted me real late because he knew my video hadn't gone up yet and I was still editing? He's like, you editing? What did you say to me, George?

George: Yeah, I was just checking in, just seeing if you were still editing, because I thought we could have a bit of an editing phone call at midnight, but you'd already finished.

Tommy: So, it just went up. And so, and so, yeah, you've been here, but you've, you've done your Hump Day, which I'm pretty pumped about. I haven't watched it. Have you watched it, JJ?

Josh: No.

Tommy: Oh, this is one of the first ones.

Josh: I know that there is a sketch that involves the toilet. Was it pre or post the cleanup?

George: So that was pre.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: So, so that's all George is doing before and then after. Yeah, I might have to do another video showing the cleanliness of that toilet.

Josh: Can we paint the picture? So what we've done in regards to the studio, we're going to get some wide shots and things like that. But we decided to go early because we started to work on the tech stuff early in the week. I started sort of bumping in all of the streaming stuff. It's like it's going to take— like, we have a sort of a working bee plan that, you know, Sunday we'll go in, smash everything out.

Tommy: I thought it was Saturday as well.

Josh: Saturday and Sunday.

Tommy: Josh is just coming Sunday.

Unknown: Are we doing both Saturday and Sunday?

Josh: Yeah.

Unknown: Why? Potentially might be going to the 1000 Steps. So, I just go early between 9 and 1.

Josh: Between 9 and 1? What are you like, the blinds company? Why such a big range?

Unknown: Well, I don't— I mean, that's— we can work that out.

Tommy: But who's working it out? Because can we work it out right now?

Unknown: Well, it'll be with the Coconut Crew.

Mason: Okay.

Josh: Well, it sounds like you've really bitched out with the Coconut Crew. Just tell them, just say this is the time. Why are you—

Unknown: Okay, well, what time are we doing the working bee then?

Josh: We're doing the working bee from 8 AM until fucking 9 PM. Work around that. Just like we've said with lunch. If you want a lunch break, batch it with dinner. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Tommy: And if you want Holidays, take it on the weekend.

Josh: That's what they're actually— except this week. Except this week. So for people who are listening though, so we've set up. Yeah. We're all further away. We've gotten rid of the big desk. We all have our own spots. We've got cameras everywhere. We've— the reason that we're delayed is because we're using the big mixer again. And so it's going to eventually sound way better. Yeah. But I couldn't just work out a few buttons before we went live.

Tommy: No, we're getting there. I mean, one of the factors is because I'm pumped that I kind of put this suggestion forward of the setup because it was the idea only came to me with your unhappiness of being back in the studio because right now you could have, you could literally take your setup where you are, put it in your home and that's your home setup. And so that's what I wanted it to feel like, our own sides, the studio, you know, the wooden walls. We've got a side each and I want to start sort of decking out mine. And Josh has zero say in what I— in what way. So I get vice versa and vice versa. I'm happy.

Josh: So do what you want. Because I'm going to get an on-air— mine's going to be very radio. It's going to have an on-air thing. I'm going to have sort of like audio levels going across.

Tommy: Okay, great. As long as it doesn't flash and get over to my side.

Josh: Yeah, well, that's what it's going to have, sort of a neon spill, but it's going to come from my side. I'm going to have a beautiful neon side. So that's it. And all you're going to see is just the colour temp shift.

George: Yeah.

Josh: No, but it's— I think it's going to be good long term.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm pumped. It is good to be back. It is good to be back.

Josh: And so, Hump Day replay. Yeah. GB, do you want to set this up?

George: Oh, we're getting straight into it.

Josh: Yeah. That's why I brought you. Do you need more time?

Mason: This is—

Tommy: Hang on. Is this the first Hump Day that we've been in the studio together?

George: It is.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because I'm like, I haven't felt it like this. It's so weird what you—

Josh: I know.

Tommy: Feeling someone's energy versus over the the, you know, the interweb at home because you've got a nervous energy about you.

George: My palms are sweaty.

Tommy: Which it comes across on the show as like, "bit of gear." Like it comes across well.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: In real life.

Josh: It's just anxiety. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you can call it mental health issue. I think it's fine. I like your nervousness. I think it's a great quality.

George: Normally when we play the video, I can't see any of you guys. Because it's just playing. Josh can probably see it. You can see everyone.

Josh: Yeah, I can see. Yeah, some of my favourite stuff is being like, that's why I have a, um, because I, this is where I, I sort of fall into a bit of an issue. One way I'm pissed off that I have to do everything, but the other way I don't want it any other way. Well, it's controlled. Yeah, it's like if I get Seb's fucking switching, I'll just be watching it in my head being like, cut to, like, I'm sure that if Seb's was switching. Yeah, you'd be yelling for sure. So, I like this. I think this is—

Tommy: I said you switch, you do it all.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Because I think it's good. Like, I actually think it's a strength. Then you see the pressure that is on Josh to make it work. And so, you've chosen the most high-pressure thing out of the options.

Josh: I would hate to be on the other side. I would hate to be you trying to do something and me just trying to fucking walk. Like, because I would hate that feeling. The feeling that I throw at all of you, I'd hate. But you guys, you do it. Georgie boy does a great— It sits in George. I like it. Okay, so GB, can you set this up?

George: Yeah. So, I actually am feeling good about this. I'm not even joking, but— Imagine a bad week. It is going to— It could be a bad week because I don't know if I'm feeling good because it's good or just because I've actually got something up. Because, Josh, you'll know that when you were leaving yesterday, at 7 o'clock. Yeah, I had about 2% of it done.

Josh: And it was— you, like, you showed Bree and I. Yeah. And normally Bree's very like, oh, that's amazing. And Bree's like, oh, you'll get there. And then so I started being like, why don't you like— what, like giving just shit ideas? I was like, why don't you, um—

George: we had an hour meeting after just running through ideas.

Josh: I said like, oh, maybe you could prank Seb's Maybe you say the prank that I thought was hilarious that you didn't go with it, did you?

George: No.

Josh: But I wanted you to call Sev's pretending to be the blinds company and saying, hey, the blinds that we've installed are actually for someone else. We're going to have to come and collect them and your blinds aren't going to be ready until after the 25th of June.

George: But then I had to audition in front of them a few voices and They weren't happy with any of them.

Unknown: Really?

Josh: So, that's not true. Yeah.

George: But so, so I'm ready for this one. And I got my drink.

Tommy: Oh, what is that?

George: It looks like piss or a jar of olive oil.

Unknown: Yeah.

Mason: Apple juice. I see apple juice.

George: It's actually, I got it from the same cocktail places I got the Negroni from. It's called, and it's annoying because I didn't have any labels left. But it's called a Tommy's Margarita.

Josh: Oh, really?

Mason: Classic.

Tommy: So it is one of my favourite.

George: Really?

Tommy: Do any margarita, but when it's got my name in front of it, it's sick.

Josh: One thing that I've noticed with the visuals that I'm going to fix for the future. Here's a little bit of insight for people, a little tech talk. So you want the eye lines to be right the way that if you're watching the video, Georgie Boy and Sev's and Harry, those boxes should be switched. Yeah. Because they're looking away from each other.

George: I see.

Tommy: Yeah.

Mason: So that's a no-no.

Josh: Annoying the fuck out of me. So I'll fix that while the update is going.

Tommy: Did anyone pick that up before we started but not mention it because they didn't want Josh to explode?

Josh: No, I didn't.

Unknown: No, I didn't pick it up.

Josh: No. Well, it wasn't until you guys. I think it's because you're making eye contact, which is fine. I think we want to have that.

George: Yeah.

Josh: But we need to have it set up.

George: Well, when you were looking this, that way to your left, Josh, and Tommy was looking to his right, I said, I think you guys should be looking. Oh, we are.

Josh: We are.

George: So I just shut my mouth after that.

Josh: All right. So anything else to say, JB?

George: No, I think that's pretty, pretty much it.

Josh: Okay, here we go.

George: It's the Georgie Boys Sunday Replay. It was a big week of food chats.

Tommy: Speaking of food, pancakes are better than bread. You poached an egg, bloody fruit spread, then roasting, then stirring.

Josh: I mean, red peppers, capsicum, scoop it out with a spoon. It's gonna be like a baba ganoush or a kashkhan bademjoon, as they say in Iran.

George: JJ's still loving MasterClass.

Josh: I'm doing the Gordon Ramsay one at the moment, so learning how to cook. I'm thinking about doing a livestream of extracting the bitter water.

George: Unfortunately, it didn't quite go to plan.

Josh: Yesterday I was cooking. It was an absolute nightmare, to be honest. Like, it was such a shitty experience.

Unknown: I was making, uh, it was like roast gnocchi in the oven.

George: These are unprecedented times. We know it's tough. You're stuck inside just wanting to do something. But please, please, more than ever, more than ever, More than ever, don't, don't, don't try to roast gnocchi. It's very dangerous. You'll bloody burn yourself.

Unknown: That was, um, that was stinging for about 2 and a half hours last night.

George: Also, don't try to pick up garlic with your fingers. Use the tongs.

Josh: I burnt my fingers. And can you actually see? I'm trying to think which— no, you can't really see.

George: And don't carry around a hot tray of sausage rolls with your top off.

Tommy: I burnt my abs and I just had this line.

George: You probably already got your top off in the baking tray ready to go.

Tommy: I burnt myself last night making crème brûlées.

George: And don't try to make crème brûlée. Actually, Tommy, no, well done. Good on you for trying. Just be careful with that blowtorch. After 100 episodes remote, we've started to move back into the studio.

Josh: I fucking hate being back at the office.

Mason: This office is a complete and utter pigsty.

George: Dishes are everywhere.

Josh: I hear— oh no, oh no!

George: I had to chase the garbage man down the road with my bin because JJ just peed out last night.

Josh: And I think, oh, He's fucking dead.

George: Coming back into the office means we have to agree on some ground rules.

Josh: What are some of the new rules, do you think?

Tommy: No dishes left.

Josh: If you're gonna eat tuna, you have to go outside.

Tommy: Do you lock the door when you go to the toilet?

George: No.

Unknown: No.

Josh: Yeah, yes.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Do you really?

Unknown: Yeah.

Tommy: You do?

Josh: Definitely. Yeah, yeah. Are you sure? I lock the door, like, if in the office, I'm always locking the door.

George: Oh, oh, sorry mate.

Josh: No, no, no, you're right, mate.

Mason: What's going on?

George: Ah, nothing much, just going through the Discord. Ah yeah, that's great, isn't it? Yeah, the food chat is going off. Grace made a delicious roast pork. Hey, that looks nice. Tommy sent a recipe for the best chicken soup ever, and Casey's baked a loaf of bread. Yeah, so yeah. I'm so sorry to interrupt, mate. I was actually just wondering if I could have a shower. Oh yeah, I mean, I don't have a problem with It's completely fine. It's just that there's someone else in there. Oh. We didn't have any guests on this week, but a lot has happened for Mr. 97.

Josh: Day 8 of Seb's beard.

Unknown: This is day 10. Two weeks. This is my new bag. The great thing about the hoodie is it zips into the back bit.

Josh: You just get this sense that it's become the fucking Mr. 97 show.

Unknown: I want to take annual leave.

Josh: This kid wants to take annual leave. Everything we've done— What are we running a charity? During a pandemic.

Tommy: Lost control of the teenager.

Josh: I put up two throwbacks on Insta Story. Maybe not the easiest guy to date. And sure enough, Seb says, "Hahaha, geez, that's funny." Like anything that involves Seb.

Tommy: This young Mason on the line. Welcome to the show, Mason.

Unknown: I met this girl in Perth called Grace.

Josh: We love it at that. You started dating a girl that was listening to your podcast. Is that right?

Tommy: It's not your podcast. You're down the bottom of the screen, bitch.

Josh: Yeah. So, I mean, earlier this year I met this amazing girl.

Tommy: She lives in Perth.

Josh: Grace is moving to Melbourne.

Unknown: The first part is getting to the airport and picking her up when she arrives because I don't have my licence yet.

Tommy: What if Abby hates Grace?

Josh: She can't hit the dog. Any other bits and pieces? Did we get that clear?

Unknown: Being able to like have a cuddle or just, you know, go on walks or go down to the beach, all that sort of normal stuff. I'm so excited.

Tommy: That's it for me.

George: I've been Dodgy George. Good night, Australia. Love you.

Josh: He's done it again. We have to do it live. I don't have a soundboard anymore.

Tommy: That's amazing.

Josh: How's the shower?

Tommy: Oh, I tell you what, your good ideas come under pressure because that— I know that he did that last night. At what time? What time were you doing that shower scene?

George: I reckon it would have been like 8:30, 9, something like that.

Unknown: How was the shower?

George: Oh, well, I had my shirt off but I had my jeans still on and I just felt like standing in front of it. Like, I wasn't actually getting wet.

Josh: How did you fuck it up?

George: Fucked it up. Just turned it on for ages. Used heaps of water.

Josh: Don't get sad. I remember when I used to leave something to the last minute and I would just be so sad.

George: I was sad. I actually was. When you said, feel like you're going to cry, I was like, yeah, a little bit. But then I was like, I was just procrastinating so much. I was like, what am I going to do? Like, I had no ideas all day. And then And then, and then I was FaceTiming with Hannah because there was a mouse in our bedroom. The cat brought it in. And so, I was like talking to her and then I was like, went in the toilet, did a piss. And I was like, that's funny-ish.

Josh: Yeah.

George: I was like, geez, I'm stooping down to toilet humour now. This is not good.

Tommy: It was the funniest part of it. That was so good.

Josh: But what about also the troll of the Osher Ginsberg video?

Tommy: Perfect. Because it's an inside joke. Like we were talking about whether or not you make sense of it for the people watching it that haven't seen those other episodes. You didn't need to.

George: No, no.

Tommy: I think it's better that you don't and that it's—

Josh: Should I have not said anything?

Tommy: Reflect? No, reflecting. No, no, no. I think it's good. This is a meta conversation about George's— We're doing the Hump Day breakdown.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: That's a good idea. After each episode, you know, George is getting DMs from people saying, do you script it? How do you do it?

Josh: Oh, really? Would you do my wedding video? Would you do a Hump Day replay on a wedding?

George: Yeah, for sure.

Josh: That would be great.

George: That'd be great.

Josh: I could actually imagine.

George: You'd have to have your wedding on a Wednesday.

Josh: No, wouldn't you? They would have to do it for a week and then. Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: I did have an idea which I mentioned to you yesterday. Imagine Peter Hitchener anchoring a hump day replay, like as a bulletin, like.

Josh: Well, when I saw some cops on bikes this morning, I nearly went up to them and said, hey, can I get a piece to camera of you saying it's pumped for Georgie Boys' Hamptey replay. But then I'm like, nah, can't be fucked.

Tommy: So George and I walk past those same guys that are looking, they're looking for people on their phones. The most annoying fine, it's like $500 and you're sitting at traffic holding your phone in your hand. And one of them rode past us and I said, who's winning? Meaning who out of the cops are winning? Like who's got the highest tally? And he said, they are today. So I don't think they've got many fines. We saw one phone.

Josh: That's actually very funny, isn't it?

George: Yeah, I suppose.

Josh: Yeah, because yeah, they just see themselves, they're on the same journey. They're just, it's, it's, um, you know, I mean, that's a team player right there.

Tommy: That is it. I mean, but it just does show you that it's them against us, which is, I guess it's their, it's, it's what I could get right into it. 100%. It's very task-focused, like thinking about searching for people on their phones. Great.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Very easy to do. Riding your bike through traffic. It's so good. I mean, I need— I nearly needed some police support yesterday. I got in my first coronavirus confrontation.

Josh: No, you got into one. You had the guy that was shooting you from the car with the high gun.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

George: That was the—

Tommy: sorry, second. Then this is my second, actually.

Josh: But then that was also two in one day.

Tommy: This is my third. And no, this one's different because this one And I think it will start happening more and more to people because I was in 7-Eleven last night with Bodhi getting some monkeys.

Josh: Was this post playground?

Tommy: Yeah, post playground. Bodhi's first day back at the playground yesterday. Absolutely frothed it, man. It was so good. I actually missed playgrounds like they just opened yesterday. I missed them.

Josh: Was it busy?

Tommy: Oh yeah, there was shitloads of people around and dogs like the amount of— there was people drinking in the park. There was people. Dogs everywhere. It's just really spiked. Anyway, we went to get some little burgering things from 7-Eleven, and I grabbed a couple of packets and then sort of Bodhi was standing there and I said to this guy, oh mate, no, you can go. And he's like, no, no, no. I said, oh no, it's okay. So, I was thinking that he was being nice and letting me go. And it turned from me saying, oh no, no, go, to him getting so angry. Bode, I didn't realise, was standing quite close to him and he would, he was refusing to walk close to the kid.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Tommy: Yeah. And this little man started getting angry and Amy's there and she's looking at me thinking, oh.

Josh: As in Bode? Or the little man was getting angry. They could have shared clothes. I gave him Bode's puffer and said, cheer up, mate.

Tommy: No, but he got real aggressive towards him.

Josh: Maybe his parents wouldn't let him go on the playground.

Tommy: Now, this man would have been like 40. And was just getting— by the end of it, he was like fully aggressive to me. Inside, I had front kicked him in my head.

Mason: Like JJ?

Josh: What does that mean?

Mason: Aggressive like JJ?

Tommy: Well, Amy said to me, are you all good? I was like, oh. She's like, you handled that so well. And I must have— she's like, you were so calm because she got the aggression out of this guy too. I don't know.

Josh: What was he buying?

Tommy: I don't know. I don't know.

Josh: And how much a burger ring? I feel like 7-Eleven, like, that's quite a luxurious thing to get.

Tommy: Well, I bought, they're called Magic Monkeys. No, what did I say?

Josh: You said monkeys, but okay.

Tommy: Something monkeys. Fuck, I've had a mental blank. Anyway, they're like natural burger rings, natural flavouring. They're $1.50 a small bag. Oh, that's actually a good treat for an adult.

Josh: Anyway, I bought the guy a packet and said, there you go, you little child. Don't ask mum and dad though. But yeah, that was—

Tommy: I think that was happening more because we got in a tussle of who— I just thought I was trying to be kind, but he didn't want me to because the kid was there. And then I was like, no, no, you go.

Josh: And then, yeah, I've already gotten pissed off at people in the same sort of scenario, but it was at a park and walking, and I am very good at getting into the single lane. So yeah, I'll go faster and Bree can go behind me or whatever. And they just like kept in their twos or whatever. So there was no point, like there was no distance.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, that shit was annoying before coronavirus. It is more like we're all heightened. I'm sure, I'm sure, Harry, I'm sure you've sort of, you're notorious for telling off people on trains and just having a go at people.

Mason: Yeah, I got, I got in a bit of trouble at Aldi a few months back.

Tommy: Did you?

Mason: Yeah, because I had the measuring app on my phone open. We measured by using AR. Through your phone's camera, and I was measuring 1.5, and the bloody dickhead— I actually wrote to Aldi to complain. The fella's like, move closer, squish in. And I just went, nah. He's like, come on, squish up, fill up the conveyor belt. Nah.

Tommy: He was the biggest dickhead. Was it on the ground? It has the—

Mason: it does now.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mason: Didn't back in April.

Tommy: Yeah, it's, it's all bizarre. Bunnings as well, like each aisle has a sign saying no more than 4 people within the aisle.

Josh: It is looser, though. Like our lift, like, I was pumped because only sort of 1 person or 2 people could be in the lift at the same time. It's like you and your partner, basically. And I was in the lift the other day and sort of the lift opened because they can't stop the lift from opening. You know, if it's like, if you're going down, say going from level 7 or whatever and you're going down to ground, if someone presses it in the meantime, it will stop at 4.. And so, there is that thing where it opens up and what had been happening previously is people, it would open up and they'll be like, oh, sorry. Yeah, I'll wait for the next one. And this couple just went into the lift that I was in and I didn't blow up. I just sort of— Held your breath. Yeah. No, I didn't talk. I just, which I don't talk anyway.

Tommy: I've been doing that. I've been holding my breath walking past people. Is that normal?

Unknown: I've done that. I've definitely done that.

George: Doesn't help.

Tommy: Doesn't it?

Josh: Are you sure?

George: I wouldn't have thought so.

Unknown: When do you clear them? How many metres do you have to be passing before you can open?

Tommy: I like to get like a—

Unknown: 5, 5, 10 metres.

Tommy: If I can feel a breeze.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: Like if I— because a lot of the time you— if— and how I know I've gone far enough is if I don't smell their aftershave or perfume or just even like—

George: Yeah.

Tommy: No, yeah, like, um, clothes washing, you know, the smell of—

Unknown: Oh yeah, washing detergent.

Tommy: Freshly, yeah, washing detergent. Like, it's amazing how you do smell somebody walking past. And so, I associate the opportunity for catching something within that bubble of being able to smell them.

Josh: If you can smell the perfume or whatever.

Unknown: Has to, has to.

Josh: Lingering. No, I like the idea. I loved the other day coming in here and it's smelling like just alcohol wipes.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Well, it was nice.

Unknown: You'd love the bus. The bus is nice.

Josh: No, I wouldn't actually take that. Don't speak for me about the bus. I'm a peasant. Oh, you'd like the bus. Fuck off.

Tommy: A tour bus?

George: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: A bus. I'm trying to think what sort of bus I'd like.

Tommy: Shane Jacobson's personal bus that he has.

Unknown: That he—

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: It's got recliners.

Josh: But then even the problem with buses is the parking it.

Tommy: There's no way to park a bus.

Josh: It's annoying, isn't it?

Tommy: It's an absolute nightmare. I think we put out— I put out yesterday on the show that I wanted a studio manager. No fucking emails. This is annoying. We did get an email though.

Unknown: Oh yeah.

Tommy: And it's for Sev's.

Josh: It's really annoying.

Unknown: Do you want me to read it out or?

Josh: Yeah, it sounds like you want to.

Unknown: I'm happy to.

Mason: Okay.

Unknown: If you want. Do you want me to?

Tommy: Mate, it's up to you.

Josh: Not really, but do it anyway.

Unknown: No, so we got an email from Rod. And he said the, the subject line was, Grace is coming to Melbourne. Hi Gronks, long time listener, first time, um, well, Gronk. I hear Grace is coming to Melbourne. Mr. 97, if you are looking for a nice Airbnb down the beach where the two of you can chill for a week, I think I might be able to help. A couple of months before COVID we bought this little place in Blegowrie, which is down the Mornington Peninsula next door to Sorrento. We decked it out with brand new everything and put it up on Airbnb to help with making the repayment— with making payments. It's an easy 5 to 10 minute walk to the beach.

Josh: And yes, having it— Georgie's just having it. He's so strong.

George: Keep going.

Unknown: And yes, it has a fireplace. I'll make you the deal of a fucking lifetime. You can stay here for free for the week if you give it a shout out on the show and produce a couple of videos and some content that you pop up on your Instagram. You get some free accommodation, and we could potentially secure some much-needed future bookings. Hashtag win-win. Get in touch via email if you can.

George: Could you—

Josh: Rod, could you learn how to film in— how long have we got? I mean, does he Yeah.

George: Well, it's a 3-bedroom place, so we could all go. There's 2 bunks and then there's another room.

Josh: That's not a bad idea. The other thing is, remember I got an Insta DM from someone. I need to— My DMs are disgusting at the moment, the amount of unopened DMs. But Ryan sent me a DM and he was saying, hey, $150, what could it get me? I want to support you guys. I think Ryan has a firewood business. Oh yeah. And so maybe like you get some of that for the fun. Yeah, it would be great to sort of try and I mean, only if you're comfortable just milking it. So something like how many brand deals could we get a car? Like I know Holden were giving out cars left, right and centre a few years ago. Things have probably changed for them. But yeah, maybe we could get you a car.

Tommy: So is this to deck out his weekend?

Josh: Because we wanted to do it the whole week.

Tommy: Oh, the week.

Unknown: Sorry. It's the whole week.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: I mean, that's it, right? Right.

George: Is it right?

Tommy: That's very generous. Like, that's a $400, probably $200 a night at least. $1,000 of a comm.

Josh: Yeah.

George: More.

Mason: More.

Tommy: Man, that's so nice.

Josh: Annoying. Yeah. What other things, like, if you were to sort of really, you know, if you were Bachelor producing this, like, what else do you need?

Unknown: I mean, a helicopter ride.

Tommy: Is it too like, you know, the thing about reality TV shows are I mean, I'm surprised there's been a bunch that have stayed together because the razzle dazzle.

Josh: Yeah. Like, doesn't last.

Tommy: The helicopters, you know, the shucked oysters on the back of a boat over in WA. It's like, it's a bit much. Like, it is. It's the equivalent of questioning whether you're actually into somebody when you've met them overseas.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: I think it's important to actually try and underplay everything. I think it like give you need to give a pretty shitty experience up front just to sort of set the expectation. Like I said on Dear Vala's video, it's like fart within the first week because it's sort of then you're building something off something that is sustainable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because otherwise you're holding in farts. I mean, still talking farts. Georgie boy, do you fart in front of Hannah?

George: Too much.

Tommy: There is a point though, once this starts, Amy said Yeah, she said once you started, there was, there was just a continuous—

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, what else are you gonna do?

Tommy: It's liberating, dude. But I remember, I remember that, like, for, like, dating, early days, all different relationships, I just come home, my guts are fucked. It's not natural to be holding that in. Well, it's not natural to fart as much as I do.

Josh: Well, Bree didn't shit for 10 days on our first Tassie trip. I think she nearly died from that. Yeah, that's too much. 10 days is ridiculous. You thought you knocked her up? Yeah, just severely constipated. Yeah, do you want like— that's not— and like, we're having fucking chicken parmas everywhere we went.

Tommy: Like, can you just cut back to Seth's full screen? How do you— can you talk? Because maybe this is just our delusional minds. What is it for you? Like this, what we're talking about. Are you— Do you have the same sensibility? We don't care about farting. We haven't thought about it because you haven't done much dating.

Unknown: Yeah.

George: Yeah.

Unknown: Well, I know I haven't. I haven't had that experience yet.

Tommy: He hasn't had the need to fart while on a date.

George: No.

Josh: I know how many lentils he eats.

Tommy: No, but seriously.

Unknown: Yeah. I mean, I think—

Josh: I think you're going to vibe it out, right?

Unknown: Yeah, definitely. But I would probably agree. You'd probably go earlier. Like, you don't want to— You don't want to hold it in.

Tommy: It's good in theory for a guy that's been in a relationship for 13 years.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, great point. Yeah, do you do it? Yeah, absolutely not.

Tommy: Yeah, it's scary.

Unknown: Yeah, I'm sure you can look past it. It's low level.

Josh: Yeah, of course.

Tommy: Yeah, of course. That's the thing about all this shit. It's low level to pee into the water and it be noisy, but people have a thing about how it's too much. Like, I can't do it. Pee into the water? No, as in swimming. No, no, no. So if you go to the bathroom, the toilet, and you're hearing stream—

Mason: oh, it's okay.

Tommy: People have a thing like, oh, it's a bit much. I don't want— like, I just don't want the person out there hearing what I'm doing.

Josh: Like, if we piss pre-show, there's no doubt that they can hear.

Unknown: Oh, absolutely.

Tommy: That's why Al Monte will be pumping 24/7. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Well, this is a thing— like, that was like the criticism I always had with Sev's running the studio is I'd have to ask him to play music, and it was always when I was heading to the toilet. So I was like, hey mate, how about pump some music? And then everyone's like, what's going on? What's about to happen?

Tommy: We are all just weird quirks. I mean, I guess we know. Seb, have you got any quirks that you've realised? Or maybe you start realising some quirks once you've got someone that's around you a lot, say for 5 nights, 5 days.

Unknown: Yeah. I mean, oh yeah, I mean I mean, it's the whole— it's like the toothbrushing thing.

Tommy: It's just like you, you know, sort of like mouth open. Oh, baby can't brush with his mouth closed.

Josh: Oh yeah.

Unknown: Have you started? I have. Have you started brushing your tongue? Yeah, no, I've been— I'll hang on my tongue.

Mason: Yeah.

Unknown: No, I still haven't done that.

Josh: But Bree actually hurt her tongue. She cut her tongue on the, um, her tongue scraper.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, I can't believe that.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: That's not—

Josh: she went too full on, I guess.

Tommy: God, I brushed Brodie's tongue last night and he loved it.

Josh: Oh really?

Tommy: He thought it was hilarious and then he kept on wanting it. Just kept on.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Tommy: That's good. He's got a clean tongue. Real clean tongue. Good breath.

Josh: That's what you want.

Unknown: Great.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: At what time did you pick him up yesterday?

Tommy: Got him at 4:15. We, I just went to the closest park.

Josh: It was such a nice time of day. Like the beautiful, like it's that sort of sunny, sunny winter vibe.

Tommy: It's like a warm light at the end of the afternoon. Sun's going down. It was a bit cool. Oh, it was lovely. This is a nice time, almost like the colour of George's hair, just that sort of golden glow.

Josh: Red.

Tommy: It's just a bit—

Josh: you don't even got red hair.

Tommy: No, you got a golden glow.

George: Got a bit of—

Unknown: yeah, you take your hat off.

George: Oh no, my hair is terrible.

Unknown: You'll be right, you'll be right.

Mason: Didn't you get a haircut the other day?

Josh: No, it's great.

Unknown: What's wrong with your hair?

George: It's just, it looks so long and greasy and shit out. No, I need to get a haircut. No, I tried the other day, but they're all booked out.

Josh: What do you mean? What do you mean booked out?

George: Well, line out the door and the guy's like, oh, back on Tuesday. Okay, well, that doesn't help.

Josh: Wait, so did you go and ask how long's the wait or would they not let you on the line?

George: Well, he said, oh, I'm closing up soon and there's like 5 people waiting. So, yeah, there was no way I was getting in.

Josh: It's so annoying. I don't understand why they don't, like every place have bookings.

George: And how they're not open on Sundays. Most places, Sunday, Monday is like their days off.

Josh: What is that with, like, fish and chip shops, Mexican restaurants?

Tommy: It's a hospo weekend.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Don't you know this?

Unknown: But take Monday, Tuesday. Like, why don't they change it to Monday, Tuesday?

Josh: But normally I get my Uber Eats 15% off on a Saturday, which gets me Saturday, Sunday, Monday. And so I'm always fucked for Monday. I'm like, well, this is— What am I going to get?

Tommy: Sunday, they at least can go out Saturday night. They work till 8 or they work till 9. A lot of hospos go late, late night on a Saturday night, push through, and then you have Sunday, which is a part of the weekend, feels nice. And then into Monday, feels like you've got a naughty day, extra day. Yeah, I mean, it's annoying having to work Tuesday to Saturday anyway.

Josh: Do you know what, there's something I always feel like I see at cafes. I don't know if it's just because of the what we're experiencing, but it's the the owner on zero looking at their books? Do you feel like that's like a really common thing? Like you're always saying, like they're normally with someone and they've got their hand in their head, like their head in their hand. That's really sad. Like trying to reconcile stuff, do the numbers. I just put my hand on my head. I'm reminded of the hat that I'm wearing today.

Unknown: Yeah.

Tommy: So, you rocked into the office today. I thought it was, you know, circa 2012. Seriously, that's when you were—

Josh: Yeah, I think it was like 2013, but I wore this hat on a video that you and I made on YouTube, which is what prompted me. It was the one where I was impersonating Craig Harper. We were sitting down and I was having a 7-Eleven coffee.

Tommy: Looked better on you then.

Josh: You don't like it?

Tommy: No, it's actually not too bad. It's not too—

Mason: What's the hat say?

Tommy: It's so, it's a snapback, which is, we haven't been wearing snapbacks as a team and Josh is Brought us down.

Josh: And so, it says, "I heart haters," but it's very premium because on the flip side it says "motivation." And so, it's sort of a reminder.

Unknown: You know what it is?

Josh: What?

Unknown: It's the—

Josh: You have to do that, but my neck's very sore at the moment, so I can't tilt my head back.

George: Like tilt your head back.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But yeah, it's— I think it's great. But Bree did say, she said, "Oh, it's a bit of a cuck hat," which we never used to say "cuck" until you really brought it in. Is it an offensive word? Is it offensive to like, are we all—

Tommy: I've only ever used it as like, are you like, as a not endearing, but just like a joke with mates where it's never a serious thing.

Josh: And so, how would you describe a cuck?

Unknown: It's very forceful, isn't it?

Josh: A cuck. A cuck is like the C word. Yeah. So, it's a cuckold. It's just like someone having sex with their partner. Someone being— So, a cuckold is when, say, if you were in a cuckold, you would —allow is not the right word because it's all like, you know, it's 2020, everyone's doing what they want. Amy would have intercourse with someone else and you would be in the cuckold, and so you would like it.

Tommy: Well, the essence of it is that you have no option but to do what your partner's told you, which is I'm now sleeping with somebody else as well as you being there. So, cuck is a weak or seville, servile man, often used as a con— contempt—

Josh: can't read as well. No, absolutely not.

Tommy: It's a term for a man with moderate or progressive political views. Okay, yeah, sure.

Josh: Because yeah, I guess it is the, um, there is a submissive nature to it. Yeah, I could see people being offended by it because they would be like, oh no, this is just like a, uh, this has happened, uh, the other way where, uh, women have been suppressed or whatever. Now we're just sort of equalling it out, so you're not a cunt. Like you're just like, you know, doing the dishes as well. I don't think doing the dishes is being in a cuckold. I think that the cuckold is the sex bit, potentially. You know, the ironic bit— Apparently, I look like a cuck when I wear this hat.

Tommy: The ironic bit is anyone who ever— The ironic bit is that anyone who responds with that understanding or offence to being called a cuck is a cuck. Like, that is a cuck. No, but that is it. That's it playing out.

Josh: You'd be like, I just like it as a word because it doesn't have the— You can't like the C word, you've got to be careful where you say it. Yeah. But "cuck" has the cut-through of the other word, don't you think? Like it's just, I think it's a "kkk", something great. Yeah.

Tommy: On the radio this morning, they were talking about plump-tuous, plump-tuous, or plump-ton. Sorry, plump-ton. And supposedly there's words that are just really appealing to say. Cuck being one of them. Plumpkin just being a fun word to say. And there's like, there's actually— Moist. Moist. No, that's disgusting, mate. Okay. Sorry.

Mason: It just rings off your tongue. Moist.

Josh: Gout. Yeah. Gout is a good one. Gout. Don't even know what it is, but it sounds gross. Outrageous. Okay. That's not really a word. What's a— Well, cut.

Tommy: Favourite words at the moment. I mean, what— Outrageous. What do we—

Josh: Haven't we did a whole list of them. Obnoxious. Obnoxious. You're loving that at the moment. Yeah, I love obnoxious. It's just an area that I'm leaning, like the hat, obnoxious. Do you think that though when you put it on? Yeah. No, I thought the thing was like there was a part of me that just, I feel like I walked into work with a bit more bravado. Like walking down Hoddle Street. Because if I— Because the thing is, if you have a blow-up with someone who's in a car, it's like if they blow up, they're doing exactly what I want. Like, it's like, oh, they've entered into my world.

Tommy: You know, if that guy who I had a corona confrontation with last night was wearing the I love haters, I think I just would have laughed.

Josh: Well, that's the funny— Like, it's laugh. You know, that's pretty funny, isn't it?

Tommy: It is funny. Because it's like he's playing it like there is a self-awareness piece to it. But if he was not self-aware, that guy last night, if he was angry wearing it, it would be like, it would be, you know, it would be cancel each other out and I'd just be laughing. The reality is that you've got a higher chance of having more haters now in your life and what you're doing with this show than you were And even with the hat, that's the hilarious thing about the hat, isn't it?

Josh: That it's like there's people who are like, "Oh, fucking that guy with his hat." That's exactly what I want because it's motivation.

Tommy: So, I thought in my mind when I saw her, I thought, "Wow, he's really now thinking that he's got a lot of attention on himself and he needs to push back on any of the haters." That's what came to my mind. Was that a part of it?

Josh: So, I made it very clear because George said, "Oh, you've got a new hat.". And I made it very clear this is not a new hat. I had— I bought this like 6 or 7 years ago. And so, then it feels like you can— If I had just gone and bought the hat in the past week, you'd be— I'd be getting a lot of like, "Oh, hey, JJ, you okay, mate? We love what you're doing." Whereas I feel like this being an old hat, it's— Yeah, there's some— I don't know. Not to quote Osher, but it's a bit of irony, you know. I'm just being ironic.

Tommy: Oh, George, are you feeling like you're getting enough love for your hump days?

George: Oh, big time. Too much. I mean, not too much. I love it. I'm, um, I'm wrapped. Like, I can't, I can't thank you right now.

Josh: I can't speak. I've just had it. How much did you drink?

George: I've only had a few sips, but he's very strong. But, um, no, I, I am so grateful for everyone, all the listeners, uh, sending me messages. Yeah, you guys supporting me.

Tommy: Are we— we're just doing a check-in, Seb. So we feeling too much pressure, too much, um, you know, coming at you a bit strong, or, uh, you know, what's your percentage? What are you at?

Unknown: No, I'm pumped. I'm feeling great, to be honest. I reckon I'm at least like 95. That's big.

Tommy: That is big.

Josh: It does feel good. There is a nice vibe being in the office. Yeah, well, imagine when we get to a point where it's all set up and there's no tech bullshit before the show. You can just come in and think about content and what you're going to talk about. Out. And, um, yeah, it'll be nice. We love you.

Tommy: All right, good boys, we're back. And Jess, thank you.

Josh: Uh, tomorrow is, uh, International Burger Day.

Tommy: Yeah, we've got some exciting stuff planned, so I'm already hungry thinking about it.

Josh: Yeah, like, I'm going to fast beforehand in preparation, like, so I'm gonna be hungry as fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy: So is it, is it a problem though, the fasting, because you're just so hungry your game goes out the window? Like, for what you end up—

Josh: what you eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, no, that's— I mean, it, it'll— it probably lends itself to binge eating, doesn't it? Sort of like, yeah, making up for lost time.

Tommy: I was just thinking, if you answer quick enough in response to anything, it kind of almost just goes over your head.

Josh: Yeah, you know, like you answered as I was saying, I was like, oh yeah, no, because we know now, like when there's the, um, the delay I have to wait for you to finish, but now I'm like, oh no, I get it. Um, oh, this is good. Yeah, it should be, it should be fun. Uh, thanks everyone for listening. Uh, should we play a, um, 10 seconds?

Unknown: I've had, I've had half of that. 10 seconds of admin.

Josh: 10 seconds of admin. Did you know you can actually subscribe? It's a podcast, you can do it and also give us a review at Apple podcasts. Thank you. I think that that's a lot louder than the, uh, our vocals at this point, but we'll fix all that up from a technical perspective. Just the beginning. Bear with us, you know, we're only 130, 140-something episodes in. 700.

Unknown: Sorry, I thought you were going to say we're only 100 episodes, you know, 103 episodes.

Tommy: We're newbies, guys. Bear with us.

Josh: Great. Uh, it's a daily talk show. See you tomorrow, guys. Have a good one. See you guys.