- January 16, 2020
Ryan Shelton joins us at the Espy for a live show presented by Lady-Brains to bring together communities to raise money for the recent bushfires in Australia.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Doing what you love with people you love
– Dreams, goals and destinations
– Hard conversations
– Comparing yourself with other people’s success
Ryan Shelton on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryansheltonography
The Imperfects Podcast with Ryan: https://theresilienceproject.com.au/about-us/podcast/
Thank you to Anna and Cait from Lady-Brains for putting on an amazing event: https://www.ladybrains.com.au/
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 579 at the
Oh, yeah. Let's find a little picture. Today's a special day for us. This is celebrating our two year anniversary of the podcast. And yeah, we're here with Ryan Shelton. Welcome. Thank you. Thanks for Thanks for having me.
What a turnout. That's amazing. All over glow journal. Unfortunate and
what you're witnessing right now is three mediocre sausage fest.
I'm a legend.
So yeah, this podcast episode is going out tonight because we haven't missed a day. Yeah. So we kind of want to paint the picture. And also flag that Josh may lose. He's the four Yeah, yeah, sorry. The Yeah, I fully
Engage my core right now if you if you can't say what's going on, that's a low chair. Yeah, it is. It is definitely the chair. But what I like to do before at the start of every show, I just like to check the temperature in the room. So
can I say at the back there, Greg, right. Everyone knows Nando's. Everyone knows Nando's. Yeah, okay. How many people like lemon and herb Can I get a hands up lemon and herb? Okay. Yep. Great one. What about a mild Can I get a heads up for a mild couple of miles? He's right. Yep. How about hot? Yeah, great. How about extra hot. Awesome. Thank you.
inside joke, there you go. So Ryan, Sheldon, we are with the last time we spoke was actually in Los Angeles. Yeah. The three media co Why the hell sausage fest on tour? Yes. And it was. It was great fun at the top of Runyon Canyon. Yes.
It was very beautiful a lot of flies which didn't show up on the video. But there were there were thousands of them. They were they were really mad in that chair. I feel great.
Right? I feel like I'm like because let it you know, let them It always has these Cheryl The Tonight Show Host have their chairs up a little bit hot and the guest is like a status thing. Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely feeling a little bit like I mean, your audio sounding better than ours. Yeah, I'm feeling that so I'm about to walk off, but that's okay. Just play safe at 23 more minutes.
Yeah, so, yeah, we're gonna be a sharp 20 minutes. Sorry, Siri is just a few people waving. They're not fans. They're actually people telling us to get Yeah, yeah, time be quick. So Ryan, I feel like when I first saw you, you were it was back in rove days and then we became friends A few years later, and I feel like everyone's being shochet which is great because your status right now.
Now royalties. I'm literally the hottest person in
the DJ behind you.
Get down, shut down.
There's a big shift, they're going from being on the TV to, you know, changing, changing sort of what you're doing and going more behind the scenes. Yep. What's that shift? Like from a from a personal identity point of view, your likes.
status is still high, though. We only have 21 minutes. Well, that was a big change. But it was it was sort of a change in the sense that I wasn't on screen as much, but not so much a change that I was still getting to make the things that, you know, I was excited to make with the people that I really loved. And so that's always been the
thing that I've been lucky to do, even though my ability to do what I truly truly want to do has, you know gone up and down as it does I imagined for most people, but I've always been able to work with people that I that I really like and friends with and enjoy spending time with and the more the more stuff I do and the longer I work, the more I realised that that is the most important thing it's like spending time with the people that you actually like spending time with. I mean, it's lucky that I mean, I'm lucky but the fact that you grew up with the jewels lands the Hamish and all of the crew that is your jewels. lunz do you know
is a Catholic Company
about two personalities the big ego
white male crew, but what do you mean you're not gonna let go I know I'm
sausage fest joke. One more we get to resentful.
That'll be fine.
Achieving the success you guys have with your mates. It seemed like the dream like when was there Who were you paying off those days as a group of friends that are like, getting into the media and all doing it together?
Well, I mean, it just it felt like quite a gradual organic thing for us we would just I think was probably unique that so many of us that were hanging out together at that time, we all wanted to do the same thing. And then maybe as as people started getting success like for example, like Jules and he would get he got on getaway and then someone and then I came in she got a job at Fox FM and then all of a sudden what seemed impossible when you're when you're just a, you know, 18 year old kid, and you don't really know how to get into the industry. And this is like before YouTube and before anything. So it really does seem impossible. And so when people start getting there, and then your friends You think I'll maybe it isn't so impossible. I think it just sort of bridges
Whatever gap there was, and maybe maybe that was it was a result of that. But I don't know, it didn't seem that strange at the time. I'd like to think that saying people who are successful, and I think in my head that it's like, they're the people who are thinking in five years, I'm going to be here and they're the goal setters and and they're, they're successful. They found a way to success, the way you think people find their way to success was it for you, in terms of breaking into something you love doing it a, you know, commercial level? Was it a goal that you said, when you were younger? I mean, early in the and this is probably for deep dive on this, you can listen to the last episode of our podcast, the imperfect, but yeah, I mean, as when I was a teenager, I always just my natural dream was to do what the people that I admired did, which was to have to be a writer and a creator and a star of your own TV show. And that was, that was just always the thing that I I held up as the thing that I thought if I could
Got that then I'll be happy that will, like, that's the thing that I need to, to feel happy or successful or
I don't know, show my mom that I'm doing something with my life. So, Mom, mom is not here, which is why I said it. But she but I always just sort of was striving for that and that just saying what the thing that I just wanted and so
and so because that was always the thing that was always the thing I wanted all these things I was lucky enough to be able to do, whether it be like do a radio show or be on rove or
like you know, even produce all the gappiya shows and stuff and like travel around the world and do these unbelievable things. It'll I couldn't really enjoy it as much as I should have been at the time because all I was thinking was, this will get me to the next. This will get me to the next level. And this will get me closer to being able to get my dream and the thing that I realised that
Now was that this is like doing this is the drain like bang I wouldn't do this tonight is unreal
really good I am just saying that I am just saying that
guest yeah now that I actually just I should rephrase that
this is not the dragon
This is pretty fun
this is the dream everything that we get to do is the dream and and i ever thinks a dream now I don't want to be the fucking dream of everything so
wishy washy guys. Yeah.
Now is the draw like so. What did you waste your time worrying about were there things that you look back on? He spent a huge amount of time that actually doesn't matter today. Yeah, like like getting my own. Getting my own TV show. Felt like and only up until real right? Really recently. It felt like the thing that I had to get and if I didn't get that thing then out. Then it's like all been a waste of time. But it's
Then I kind of had the realisation that to do what I really enjoy doing I don't need the TV show I can do lots of other things is it sitting that destination that becomes a problem? I think it's just yeah it I think that the key probably is and this doesn't go for everyone this is just my own experience but is forgetting the destination it's like the destination doesn't matter. Because so many things can get in the way of you getting in there that has nothing to do with how talented you are or
or anything like so many things can happen that we can't control. So to worry so much about the thing that you want to do in five years. I think it just takes away a little bit from what you what you're doing now to be able to enjoy the moment in your podcast imperfect. You're actually the guest on the final episode of season one he hasn't left yet. He's still within every episode. Yeah. We're still got
the you talk there about the shame or feeling of guilt around how you
feeling about your best mate, Hamish Blake who was on his own path. And you've sort of had realisations over the past year or whatever. And around that. Yeah. What? What does that make you learn about how you perceive other people or judge other people day today? Just just random people. Yeah. Well, not just the two rows back. Exactly. Like how your internet, how you interact with people. So I guess, you know, we all were constantly thinking about things and I guess, the
giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, yeah. Being able to think positively about someone and being able to celebrate them. Have did that uncover that realisation around not feeling great about that and then being able to resolve it? Has that helped you with other day to day interactions with other people? Oh, yeah, for sure. I think there's lots of stuff that I've that I've read over the years and podcasts on
Listen to a shows that I watched that it when you hear people's real story then it obviously opens up a new side of them that maybe you didn't know about and that everyone knows what that's like when you hear someone's real story and it's different than the version of the person that you've assumed that they've made over the last year or 10 years. It completely changes your opinion on the of them and and you have you have the ability to empathise with them, which is just the greatest thing. What about like bringing hard conversations forward? I guess that's an example with Hamish where it was the podcast, your podcast that actually prompted you to sit down and say, hey, I've actually been feeling this way. Yeah. Do you think we need to be having tougher conversations sooner in life? Yeah, well, I think so. And it's, it's sort of easy for me to say now in a way because I've sort of had one, but I can say, I can say from the experience I've had of so and
I won't go into it too much a lot of people here, listen to the podcast.
But yeah, it, it was essentially just like a thing that I was feeling in my life where I felt like I wasn't good enough to do the thing that I wanted to do. And I tracked it back to
the early days of when we were starting out. And I you know, Hamish and I were like, best mates still are, but since high school since you're like, 15. And, and, you know, you start off at the same place as someone and then one person sort of like evoking the same inside and then one person just gets a bit higher, and then you can't help but compare yourself and we're all you know, it's a bit of an issue at the moment, obviously, the comparing ourselves to people that are higher than you. I mean.
Yeah, right now.
Yeah, so it just sort of the the ability to have the conversation, like you said, like, I wouldn't have had the conversation with him that I was
so I will go
No one took. So
that's annoying otherwise. So I've been annoying. Is this a little bit annoying for you? No, no sounds like I think but but
it was more it was more because I want like I thought it was a good opportunity for people to listen to podcast, but I'm happy that you're going into it now. Thank you.
so, so essentially, I had this feeling like that, that I wasn't that I wasn't good enough and I wasn't um, it's not that I didn't think I could achieve things. I thought I could do things but I never felt like I was I just had this feeling this fraudulent feeling of this insecure thing that I was like, well, I can't do the things that many other people are doing. And I tracked it back to this thing of like, well, it's probably because
you know, Hamish and I were the same level and then he he rose up and did incredible things. And because then I my reaction to that was like, I want that or I wish I was doing that.
And shit, why isn't he Why is he bringing me along for the ride? Like why isn't he giving me the the the same things that he's been given? I saw that is really unfair and then I and then because of that for years I wasn't able to I wasn't able to like celebrate the great things he was doing. I wasn't able to like be there as he's best might be happy for him when he had the biggest podcast in Australian history and he oldies. I mean, we all know what he's done but, and I was sort of off to the side and I couldn't even listen to his radio show their radio show and I couldn't I couldn't be that great night that I would want if I was experiencing that because having that much success and fame Of course, it's, it's, it's great. And a lot of good things come with it. But of course you want your close people with you to be able to support you through what is a pretty strange experience. And I wasn't able to be there for him in that time because I was resentful. And so I had this realisation recently and Spencer
Item about it and, and, and it was it was pretty incredible because
you might think that he'd be like, shocked. But he would he, he felt it like the whole time he was feeling that same thing he was probably a bit confused as to why, why I wasn't like getting excited about all the funny things he was doing. And to be able to talk to him and not that we our friendship suffered or anything like that. But those differently this weird block of a this weird little thing that was unresolved and never spoken about. And to be able to speak about it meant that all those years of confusion and that we had blocked was kind of just just just vanished, sort of because we both understood and then He then said some some things to me that like issues that he had with the way that which I won't go into now but like it meant it opened up a whole conversation that meant that we could have this, this chat about all the stuff that we haven't said
And now we were already like, yeah, we were already really good friends. And now I just feel like it's just easier. I mean catalysts for these kind of conversations they had and so you could I mean, if you build the muscle of saying I'll have the hard conversation, I'll bring it forward I mean it takes time and it's only human to keep these things inside but without getting into details what it what was it internally for you that shifted not necessarily you know, the day that you decide to have a conversation like that, but what is it inside that actually makes you action? Something that is going to be a really hard thing in life? What made me do it? Yeah, what is the Why do you want if you die if you're getting a bit measure about why you decided to do it now?
Was it just the podcast?
In my case, it was it was the podcast and it's a it's a it's a it's a pretty it's pretty fucked up. It's a shame that it took that
But, but like, I think that we talk about more shit on our podcast and we do to our family and friends. But I will say, though, that I reckon the fact that I'm doing this podcast, which is so out of my comfort zone, and so different than anything I've ever done before, I think there was something, there's something bigger, probably that that pushed me towards wanting to do that. And this has just been one of the results of that. So I think I'm learning I'm learning a hell of a lot about like, I'm absolutely not the expert in mental health at all. And so you've got a co host you so out of the Resilience Project. Yeah. So he Van collenberg is the founder of the Resilience Project. And he's just incredible guy and he does these talks around the country. He's been doing it for years and just helps thousands and thousands of people. And I met him randomly and we became friends and and now we did this podcast together. So he's the he's the expert giving all the so don't worry, you're not going to tune in and all I'm giving lessons on mental
But hey hey is and
it's but it's so it's so helpful like I learned a hell of a lot from him and and I know a lot of people that listen learn a lot as well and he is he does he is able to deliver them lessons and talk about things in a way that's quite accessible and, and not as dry as maybe sometimes it feels can we all agree that it's very annoying that the hard things in life are the things that actually help us progress like it. Yeah, it is really, I think last year for me. I spent I really sort of learned that that doing the shit that's uncomfortable is where you find the growth which it sounds like cliche, and it has for so long, but it's like really embodying that Yeah, is super helpful. So it's like, if that's the hack, which isn't even a hack because it's this painful thing that you have to put yourself through like a conversation with you are a podcast every day with this guy, you know isn't bunch of stuff
right? So fun.
Thank you I don't actually know what the socks are they're just as good as all good socks today and so we don't have to have an expert explanation for every pair of socks well No Actually I got these from my brother's wedding he was it was gifted to me but the
the feeling what like to live vicariously through you so instead of us having the hard conversation can you just tell us what how good it felt? What was the was it all a good feeling walking walking away? Yeah, it was a real it was a real life it's that feeling it's a bit of a burden off a bit of a weight off your shoulders. What's the setting What do you When do you I try and work out how do you have these conversations? It was rude Amman it was we went we went out for dinner and and yeah, I just sort of
not a beautiful guy Nando's Banda. What sort of what what basting deal I was what's a basting?
What's the medium one? This medium? Yeah, maybe
Yeah, yeah. Or is it mine is I think it's very confusing. They have sources and based things and they call on medium for one of the other which I should just what do you mean that? They don't know consistent in that?
Let's get them on the line. Yeah, we could bit so that that feels like suddenly when you when you go out to dinner, wants to know what did you eat? Yeah, yeah. What you have? I can't even remember we saw you like, hey, I need to have like, was it like, Do you get it before the dinner? Yeah, no, I it was just like a normal dinner and then just, again, the one
and then yeah, I just sort of brought it up at dinner and just Yeah, it was. It's an awkward conversation, but a bit of like so. But I've been thinking
God didn't have a script. But it was it was just I just sort of said, Hey, saw, blah, blah, blah. I'm not gonna do it, but
it's actually a podcast so you can listen to it wasn't actually a podcast and the podcast
we just finished on this. Yep.
So you sit down. Yep. But you, you don't know that you're having a serious conversation. I know. No, I know. I know that Hamish doesn't know. Yeah, yeah. But that sometimes brings up a conversation and the other person's thoughts coming like, you know, like sometimes that happens that the transition the transitional point of like, Oh yeah, I'll have this and that it's like, hey, so I was thinking about like, for the last 15 years, I've been feeling like a little bit resentful.
I didn't, I didn't that probably would have been that's like the clickbait version.
That I was a bit sauce a little than that. Yeah, entre first and then yeah, then
it'd be it'd be good to I mean, having those conversations is important, right? So if someone needs to have a hard conversation in the next two days, they're inspired by your conversation.
The story you tell leading up to it heightens obviously, the feeling that you have inside about how it's going to play out. What some comfort for somebody or is there nothing? Well, no. Then what I did what I did, honestly think afterwards and after we because of course, it's hard starting once you're into it, it's, it's, it's easier. And once you finish it, it's obviously easier again, and it depends what it is, obviously. But
it's kind of hard to give a sweeping statement because everyone's different. But in my situation, it wasn't as big of a deal. As you as I built it up today. I think that's the
problem when you kind of think something over and over and you analyse it over and over, even if it's just over a day. But when it happens over 15 years, you think Well, the thing is I wasn't even thinking about it. 15 years, I was just thinking about it for a year. Yeah, because I didn't have the realisation till then So, but then that the comfort people can have is it's probably not
Gonna big as big of a shock to the other person as you think it's gonna be Yeah, yeah. It keeps it from my wife but she always knows something's up. Something's what sort of stuff and well look, we might get into it. Okay. We still have to go to Buddha mind and Ryan Shelton Thank you Matt for coming on this episode our two year anniversary and a special occasion How good is entering Kate? Yeah, okay yeah my is amazing guys. quaint, quaint. gronk because she's not on the show. Yeah, Gemma watts, smash it out of the park with her chat as well. All the people here for us. Thank you everyone else amazing. So Good night everyone. Like if you've, if you can hear in the audio that we've had an audience all of those great people have given cash, which is all going to help the bushfire relief in Victoria which is amazing. And yeah, it's been great and I really appreciate Ryan because I know that you could like with so so many of these conversations.
You pick a moment whether you, you are going to be open or not. I think this is a great example. We had him in a corner
by corner. And this is a great example of like, you know, you being open and talking about it. And I think that why you're doing the imperfect and, you know, helping with the Resilience Project and all that sort of stuff is because you know that your story can help others and I think just hearing it now makes me think in my mind, who are the Who are these people that I need to be speaking to right now that I probably haven't had the conversation with? So good. Thanks so much. Pleasure. Thank you for having me. Awesome, guys. It's a daily talk show. If you enjoyed the show, you can subscribe because probably most of you haven't yet and donate if you have any spare money, donate not to us.
Obviously, we don't have a Patreon I know we might maybe 2020 anyone who's still nothing we're getting ready down. Let's go.
Catch you guys. Bye.